The drive home begins with the Smiths
And ends with the Pixies.
I merge onto punitive pessimism
Heading north
Of an unfed need
Starvation, climbing with mileage
I switch lanes
Into loneliness
And putter up through
The Snoqualmie pass
The ceremonial point
Where I disown one contempt
To adopt another
From west to east
From mountainous mercy
To a pathetic plateau
This highway carries yellow lined cynicism
And white striped weariness
These pines hold my pining
For a life I long to know
Fully

These fours hours are my grace period
Of the transformation process
From untamed flight to civilized standstill

Mounting this bedraggled saddle
Has never seemed so appealing
But it seems that my brain is crackling
And cracking under this feeling, I'm reeling
Can't help but think of you when my eyes are closed
But you don't know, no, you can't know yet
I don't mean to be the one who dares to impose
Upon you and your life, because I can't even bet
No, I never was a gambling man
Never was a fan of the one night stand

I'm not saying that we could be together forever
Until the sun goes down and comes up over the river
I'm just saying that I think you're pretty cool
Despite the fact that I've dropped out of school
And now I'm just wading, waiting in my crimson pool

Too many issues to discuss and so little time
The clock ticks and your eyes dart
Your smile never looks forced
When it's over and we're apart
My brain just hits replay
And I'm immersed in my only little film
One where I don't have to ask you to stay
One were I always win
Please, won't you be my sweet damsel in distress?
Dressed in white with nowhere to go?
You've got a man, but right now I could care less
How hard is it just to let go?

I know I might come across as a bit selfish
But at this moment, it just seems right
Like the last puzzle piece that you can't find
And losing makes a winner at his next fight
So just hold yourself up straight
Right now I just can't wait
Right now I just can't wait

I stand face to face with Death
And my heart is beating wildly
So alive
He opens his hands slowly
Gently and methodically
The hands of Death invite me in
There is a kindness in his eyes
And a truth I cannot evade forever
Right now
Death can be chosen or denied
He stands there
Patiently waiting for me to accept his invitation
Or I can turn my head away again
And go on
Running as hard as I can
From the figure standing just in the corner of my eye
Never absent
Never truly invisible
Right now
I can live as though I'll never die
And fight for survival
At all costs
Right now
The life I choose
Can be devoid of Death
Who I have cast
As the greatest enemy of my soul
Waiting to tear me to shreds
And devour me forever
All these years I have been running
Professing belief in a God who conquered Death
But unable to trust that victory
To believe in resurrection
In time
I have come to stop running
And at last I stand
Face to face with Death
He has always been there
Waiting for me
Not physical death to my body
That will come later, someday
But instead
Dying to myself
Dying to my fear
Dying to so many sorrows in my soul
This death is more frightening
Than any physical death
I am faced with the choice
To die to my own will
And to believe
That I will be raised
By the power of God
Into newness of life
I feel all the fear in my tortured soul
Looking into the eyes of Death
And I tremble
I fear
So afraid
So weak
So pained
But I've run out of places to run
To Whom shall I go?
Jesus followed this path
Walked into the arms of Death
And He forged a way out again
Words of eternal life
Yet for now
I just stand
Face to face with Death
And my heart is beating wildly
So alive

They told me I was gonna be
A big Star
They said that with a face like mine
I could get what I wanted
I wanted to go far
I wanted everyone to know my name

I started out as a model
But when people learned I could read
They put me in front of a different camera
It was all the same to me
Pose here
Say a line or two there
It came easily to me

Women wanted me
Men wanted to be me
Everyone idolized me
Perfect Teeth
Perfect Eyes
Perfect Hair
Perfect Tan
Perfect Body
I was the total package

But when you're the total package
They don't tell you how lonely it is
In the spotlight
At first it didn't bother me
I thought
Who needs friends when I could have
Fans

It was all fun and games
Until my fifteen minutes were up
You can't be the young new face forever
I've realized the hard way that
All fame does is
Chew you up
Bleed you dry
And Spit you out
You don't get any say in the matter

I still get recognized here and there
By people like you of course
Would you like a picture?
An autograph?
No?
Ok, thats fine
How about I start you all off with some drinks?