How do you find
The source of pain?
It's not like
It's screaming my name

So many things
Try to take the fame
For causing me
The most pain

My ex boyfriend
Is a manipulative *****
Who thinks he knows
What's best for me

My mother is sick
But slowly getting better
Even without
A doctor to help her

I am in love
With my best guy friend
But I'm afraid
Because of my ex boyfriend

My real dad
Is an *******
But if you ask him
He'll deny it

I guess somehow,
It's all my fault...

I should have listened about my ex

I should be grateful my mom is getting better

I should know to trust my best friend not to hurt me

I should learn my father won't change

But it's all the same
They still cause me pain
I wish you could see
What it's all doing to me

My chest tightens
My breathing slows
The world stares at me
And nobody knows

I am being watched
I am being judged
I try to escape
But my efforts are not enough

I cannot move
My limbs are stuck
I feel like I’m dying
I’d rather just give up

“It will pass”
I remind myself
But for now
I can feel nothing else

**And it is crippling me