What do I even do now? I'm stuck here all alone and no one even notices me, it's a Thursday night; it's summer, nothing to do, no one to hang out with. All alone sad curled up in a ball just crying. I wish someone could help me. But no ones here to listen. I've been suicidal yet no one notices or seems to care. I try to find help but nothing. Nothing at all. What's the point of being alive if there is absolutly no one or nothing? I always try to tell myself there are reasons to live but I can't find that reason too, I swear those reasons run away from me whenever I get close to them.

I'm sorry
I use these words to much
I hurt you
You hurt me
Why can't we live in harmony
I know you don't know what you did
But maybe it's because you did nothing
And I'm just confusing my words with my cussing
See I'm really confused and I'm sorry I did this
But are friendship I don't want to miss
See your a great person
And I'm sorry I'm like this
But maybe without me you can finally have bliss
I want to be your friend,
But I'm too messed up to be
And I know I just can't let you see the real ugly me.
I'm sorry

I'm sorry* I can't provide for you:
             Be there every second of the day
             Hold your hand just in case you fall

Sometimes I just like to be alone
All the time
                   I just      
                             want to be alone

But you can't see that, can you?
You can't see that I'm fine,
                       that I need space every now and again?

I've tried countless times
Just to make you smile
But it's not enough
       it's never been
                   enough

You say you're hurt
That you "**** it up"
And "fake smiles"

Have you realized I've not only faked smiles,
I've faked happiness,
Just to see you try.

"There is no trying, there is only doing or not"
*******.

I've been trying.
Where the hell were you?

So I'm sorry
For not being there every second of the day
For not holding your hand in case you fall

Because this time,
It's your turn to hold me.

I love rain.
The smell of       r            
The sound of                a                
The feel of                                i
                                                            n

I love *rain.