The way that you treated people
How you left them in the dark
I knew you were a death eater
By the way you left your mark

When water signs collide
An amalgamation
How could you separate the drops
Of saturated souls

I liked to heal people
But they hurt me in the process
So I learned to heal myself
And just cut my losses

Never know how good you've got it
Til it is just a memory
Everythings temporary
If only eyes could foresee

My heart barely beats saturated in gas, cast in fire from the pain
You evoked the burn yet crawl slow to extinguish the black flame
My eyes sting like swarming hornets producing salty, infinite tears
My back aches from bending over your bruised ego intolerant of the years
My ears ring from the irony of your malicious mouth not uttering a sound
I floated undetected like pollen til U buried me alive 6 ft into the ground
Heart suspended no longer beating, i can no longer claim I'm sane
Only time can freeze the heavy flow like water seeping down the drain

Inspiration is in everything, if you look with your third eye
Muses come and go they never really die

I felt vulnerable so I reached out
But you cut off my hand
I felt empty and drowned in my tears
While you remained on dry land
I felt nostalgic so I wrote about it
but you never heard my plea....
So I learned how to swim and
Floated in my sad sea

I sunk so deep I forgot who I am
but then I remembered and so I swam
...so I swam

The sun taught me to move on
the moon told me I should grow
but the stars are the ones who convinced me
That forgetting means to let go

For so long I was empty
‘Til I realized I’m not
I’m full of love aplenty
My heart simply had forgot

I was not born to make you happy. my mouth was not created to form fake smiles, my brain was not formatted with a polygraph to distinguish your lies from truth, nor were my feet designed to tiptoe on eggshells around you, but hopefully my ******* should convey that my heart is no longer beating for you.

I constructed myself too carefully
now I can’t find anyone who’s like me

I had this vivid dream and it gave me a clue
A broken bird let me hold it before it flew
It had emerald eyes and I instantly knew
That every time I see a finch, I’ll think of you

You're sunny disposition
& I'm a black cloud
I'm introverted
you lean towards loud
I lack the confidence
You're extremely proud
Your soul is exposed
Where mine wears a shroud

I had this dream that’s been haunting me and I can’t shake the feeling it’s left behind. I dreamt I had just had an intimate encounter with a stranger. He held my hand and lead the way to a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. Out of nowhere he counted to three and let go of my grasp as I watched him leap. I stood back in fear. The rest of the dream I was trying to get back to that moment and change my decision but it was too late. I regretted this moment with every molecule in my composition. When I awoke I was left with the most hollow reminder of my pain and it still hasn’t dissipated.

I can’t tell you about this dream but want you to know
If only I knew what would have been waiting below
I wanted to leap but I was too scared I would fall
The irony is I’m too late, I ruined it all.

Internalize, internalize
Don't let those tears fall out your eyes
Ignore the ache of your demise
Your heart is punished for it's size

I keep hoping someone is gonna save me from this fire when I could've doused myself

How barren a stranger has made me feel
Like everything I touch isn't for real
How I can't even sleep or take a meal
Filled with regret signing the devils deal

Sometimes when all feels gloomy
Sometimes when you're filled with doubt
All you need is some introspect
And time to figure it all out

Our story is the worst movie I’ve ever seen
But the book oh the book is legendary

Broken connection, the line went dead
Deafening static with things never said

Your insecurities will swallow you whole
Crack open your brain, pour out your soul
Speak with all your hearts desires
They ebb they flow, they'll soon inspire
I'll coax them out of you, one by one
Aim your bullets at me, put down that gun
Whisper slowly to me ur sacred secrets
I'll cherish them all, my verbal trinkets
I'll hang them in the back row of my mind
Lock them away where no one can find
Over their heads and into my hands
God laughs at us while we make plans
On deaf ears they'll no longer fall
Your ammunition is the art on my walls
Let them fester in me, don't u worry no more
You'll sleep better now than ever before
Rest ur head the Devil is around the corner
I'm never the martyr, always the mourner

You know what I'm bad at? Filling in the gaps of people. I rush to get to their nucleus and assume the best. I always imagine people to be who I would prefer them to be and end up disappointed in the end. I need to slow my process of getting to know people and let them be their flawed raw selves. But my versions always better.

When love consumes you with desire
...That’s what you get when you play with fire

So spin your web of lovely lies
They can no longer ensnare me
You think I’ll still believe them all
Don’t ever double dog dare me

Over time love transmutes into hate somehow
Forced to use your name as a curse word now

I couldn’t comprehend
I couldn’t let go
I couldn’t understand
But now I know...
Now I know.

Was that version the real you?
Or just what you wanted me to see
Was it all just a role you played
Who you thought I wanted you to be

I'll pretend you are not the exception if you admit for one second that I was

All I wanted was your time
But you were busy you said
All I wanted were your words
But you just left me on read
All I wanted was your love
But you ruined me instead

I don’t want your hard exteriors
Give me your molten interiors

I couldn’t feel
I couldn’t tell
What was real
I couldn’t mend
I couldn’t deal
Or bare to face
That I should heal

How many full moons have I tried to let go
When I flow you ebb and when I ebb you flow

And so that was your final chess move
My mind and soul both could not approve

I hope your games were worth it
I hope that you played your best
Cuz you just lost at checkers
While I was playing chess

Time after time, year after year
A ghost from my past reappears
I reassure him I’m still here
But he vanishes out of fear

Reality is unforgiving so I keep my head up in the clouds
Yes I’m introverted because my thoughts are way too loud

Can't make heads or tails of this connection
if it's twin flames or just rejection?

The thing I always think about
The thing that makes me wonder...
Which drawer do you keep me in?
Which file am I under?

What you saw in the mirror I never could see
Because when I looked at you I also saw me

I can say now you taught me some lessons
Guess you’re a nightmare wrapped in a blessing

Everyone lives in their own little world constructed carefully of their own adversaries & affinities. Sometimes we let people in & they can be unaware of what a mess they make of our fragile bubble-like universes. Maybe their world is indestructible & they do not know yours has old frayed duct tape keeping the cracks held together. I have sat still under this dilapidated bridge built with many shortcomings & for many years I have been waiting for brave footsteps to approach & now I curse them for their destruction of my rickety facade. Who is more to blame for my unstable foundation?

The definition of love is distinct to each individual. The experiences throughout your lives that have shaped and defined our opinion of love. How can you only love one person the rest of your life when your versions of love are different. Love fades because priorities shift or change. Evolution is the murderer of love. Perhaps proof that opposites do not attract. And how can you rotate lovers to coincide with what matters most to you at that time in your life and the adversities that you go through together how can that affect the core and dynamic of your relationship?

Were you a reprieve
Were you just a fake
Were you real love
Or my worst mistake

Have you ever wondered what you're alive for
Yet your heart still beats, the constant survivor

Conspiring with the universe
The moon, the stars, the sun converse.

Kindred spirits, they intertwine
Made together from the same design
When they were born the stars aligned
To bring them together after time
They followed their hearts and they found
That their favorite place was underground
Too dark to travel their hearts lit the way
They ruled by night and slept by day
They dug and twisted fate itself
So they may see the other version of themselves

Thank you for the closure
But it made everything worse
I was at the final step
Now I’m back at the first

I don’t need to navigate the highs and lows of others when I can cruise in the middle lane of my of my own highway.

Rewrite the script
Rehire the cast
Because this run
Wasn’t meant to last