I was very lost, feeling blue
Random encounter, Déjà vu
Maybe I just hope that it’s true
That what you seek is seeking you

Maybe the truth would make a difference
Maybe you’re just not the one
Maybe it wouldn’t change a thing
Maybe what’s done is done

Put you in the failure file
You seem well versed in heartbreak

You don’t know my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
The way I take my coffee or the songs that drown my tears.
You don’t understand the way people have ****** me over or you wouldn’t have done the same.
You don’t realize how bad I need someone to vent to or the way I hate my name.
You don’t know the way my demons torture me and what I stay up all night thinking.
You don’t know my regrets or my favorite book or how to keep me from sinking.

So I am hanging on by a single ******* thread
And everyone around me is running with scissors
Like I’m not already filled with existential dread
Like I won’t unravel at the sight of their clippers

I painted a pretty picture once
I don't think others would compare
But it disappeared somehow
Now all I paint with is despair

When you hold it all in
When you can’t say goodbye
Thats when it just festers
& ***** you up inside

Sometimes when all feels gloomy
Sometimes when you're filled with doubt
All you need is some introspect
And time to figure it all out

Rewrite the script
Rehire the cast
Because this run
Wasn’t meant to last

I knew hanging out with you would be so risky
But I didnt know until the night you kissed me
That you would turn out to be so dark and twisty
Wish I never bought you that bottle of whiskey

Can’t run from your demons you have to finish them
Can’t run from your problems you have to diminish them

You cut me off at my most vulnerable
You rob me of my feelings
You reduce me to nothing
And Im still left wanting more

Was that version the real you?
Or just what you wanted me to see
Was it all just a role you played
Who you thought I wanted you to be

Were you a reprieve
Were you just a fake
Were you real love
Or my worst mistake

Wish I could write something to bring you back
But those type of words are the ones I lack

How many full moons have I tried to let go
When I flow you ebb and when I ebb you flow

Chameleons are the worst
They learn your favorite color
So they know which trance
They should use to put you under

It’s hard not to be offended
To see your true imitative self  
When you literally pretended
To be someone entirely else

How do you channel your passion
How do you tap into the stream
How do you rise from the ashes
How do you simplify your dreams

Couldn’t live with the butterflies anymore so I killed them with a gun
And every time you reappear I have to ****** them one by one

Seeing the good in someone is my fatal flaw
When will I ever learn that you can’t save them all

I can say now you taught me some lessons
Guess you’re a nightmare wrapped in a blessing

I couldn’t comprehend
I couldn’t let go
I couldn’t understand
But now I know...
Now I know.

One thing I know is I will never get that feeling back
No one has ever touched the bottom of my soul like that

Tell me what would happen if an angel fell into your lap
Would you mistake her for the devil and stab her in the back?

You were really insecure about very minor things
Guess that’s why you ran away, to repair your broken wings

The circumstances of my life belong only to me
So what is the point in trying to get others to see
If only myself can determine what is meant to be

I don’t know how else to explain it but there’s someone out there that’s broken like me and it’s what’s gonna unite us because it will fit like fractures of the same mirror.

And so that was your final chess move
My mind and soul both could not approve

The thing I always think about
The thing that makes me wonder...
Which drawer do you keep me in?
Which file am I under?

Thank you for the closure
But it made everything worse
I was at the final step
Now I’m back at the first

Why couldn’t I say goodbye
Why couldn’t I get things off my chest
Why did you have to ghost me
Why did I have to lay you to rest

Maybe if I could leak out the sadness
Maybe if I could somehow let it drain
Maybe if I could pinpoint the culprit
Maybe if I could just hit the right vein
Maybe if I could find the exact words
Maybe if I could channel purely pain

All I wanted was your time
But you were busy you said
All I wanted were your words
But you just left me on read
All I wanted was your love
But you ruined me instead

I took you out of the box
I had once placed you in
whose bow was too pretty and
no longer matched its contents

For you I once tried to color outside the lines
But you made me realize I prefer black and white

You float & coast through life
Where I am more concrete
You’re also “fools rush in”
I think before I speak

I continue to mourn the person I thought you once were
You can get to know someone but you can never be sure

I was thinking to myself how there’s no measure for pain
Then I realized there are people who leave cracks and veins  
But every once in awhile someone leaves a fault line
It’s unfortunately a flaw in the human design

If only you could see what’s
next
So you could know which way to turn
But that’s just not the way life goes
Only the hard way must you learn

I liked to heal people
But they hurt me in the process
So I learned to heal myself
And just cut my losses

I couldn't fit into your world
but you camouflaged in mine
Now you are nowhere to be found
but I still feel intertwined

When you just can't turn the page
because it was your favorite chapter
It’s hard to see the future
when there's no happily ever after

If you only knew how long I’ve waited
Now I know the definition of fated

You can’t ever recognize them all
They’ll mold into everything you lack
And just when you begin to fall
They’ll decide not to love you back

Time after time, year after year
A ghost from my past reappears
I reassure him I’m still here
But he vanishes out of fear

When love consumes you with desire
...That’s what you get when you play with fire

I had this vivid dream and it gave me a clue
A broken bird let me hold it before it flew
It had emerald eyes and I instantly knew
That every time I see a finch, I’ll think of you

Oh Chameleon, you play so many roles
But for me I’ve never met a kindred soul
As familiar as yours, why must you run?
Love doesn’t come in the shape of a gun

Everyone lives in their own little world constructed carefully of their own adversaries & affinities. Sometimes we let people in & they can be unaware of what a mess they make of our fragile bubble-like universes. Maybe their world is indestructible & they do not know yours has old frayed duct tape keeping the cracks held together. I have sat still under this dilapidated bridge built with many shortcomings & for many years I have been waiting for brave footsteps to approach & now I curse them for their destruction of my rickety facade. Who is more to blame for my unstable foundation?