if only you would open your eyes,
if only you realized that my love for you is real.
if only you knew how much you mean!
if only i could get love the way i give it.
if only i could be positve and tell everyone this!
If only you would knew my past and how i use it
if only you knew how much i think about you
see but you dont do you?
your just like the rest why get my hopes up?

We love to laugh together
and play our favorite music too
We like to dance together
and tickle eachother
You gaze into my eyes
and I gaze into yours
We love to smile big
and cuddle for a long period of time
These are the things we do together
and i love it

We spoke
like a light mist of rain
quenching the thirst of these grounds
and I reached out my hand
and dragged him away from the blood hounds
stripping away his ego
along with his clothes
which masked his vulnerability
I teach one to let go
he said I can't help this feeling
through his tears and mental exhaustion
with whispers of fear
the darkness had consumed him
and in a moment of clarity I spoke with honesty

he had decieved himself

everyone can help whatever feeling enraptures them
feeling down and out is a product of your own resolution
each thought we have can be chosen
and the world around you has no power over the mind
unless you allow it

Do not stand at my grave and weep..
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there. I did not die.

There was one a-riding grand
  On a tall brown mare,
And a fine gold band
  He brought me there.

A little, gold band
  He held to me
That would shine on a hand
  For the world to see.

There was one a-walking swift
  To a little, new song,
And a rose was the gift
  He carried along,

First of all the posies,
  Dewy and red.
They that have roses
  Never need bread.

There was one with a swagger
  And a soft, slow tongue,
And a bright, cold dagger
  Where his left hand swung--

Craven and gilt,
  Old and bad--
And his stroking of the hilt
  Set a girl mad.

There was one a-riding grand
  As he rode from me.
And he raised his golden band
  And he threw it in the sea.

There was one a-walking slow
  To a sad, Iong sigh.
And his rose drooped low,
  And he flung it down to die.

There was one with a swagger
  And a little, sharp pride,
And a bright, cold dagger
  Ever at his side.

At his side it stayed
  When he ran to part.
What is this blade
  Struck through my heart?

the sky over i-95 is violet, the color of the deepest bruise
like the one you actually remember getting, that eclipsed
all the little gray-green ones from
tripping over belgian blocks, and mismeasuring the distance
to the doorframe.
the sky over i-95 cannot hold water very long
and soon it doesn’t.

you look out the new-car window
silent windshield wipers and you remember
the other times it’s rained on your occasion
(with stinging peroxide sometimes, and
sometimes gasoline, when you had a match
in the glovebox,
but mostly water).

you never stopped liking the way the big trees swayed
in the not-quite-hurricane
or the deafening of the drops on the car’s aluminum backbone.
you used to trust they’d never fall, they’d never flood
the crashes you passed rubbernecking were never fatal
traffic would always clear
you’d never be late.

as you watch the oversized leaves support the waterweight today
you think how every bit of that is gone from you now
siphoned slowly and quietly but
unmistakably gone from you now
you think in matter-of-fact sentences because you are a grown-up:
“I do not trust the trees. I do not trust the raindrops.”

quieter you think
“I do not trust the future. I do not trust an empty building.
I do not trust the movie theater. I do not trust the ocean,
or the river. I do not trust water
when I can’t see the bottom.”

you get a little philosophical as you get hungry and the exit numbers get high
“I do not trust the highway. I do not trust me. I do not trust the curtains
to keep me safe when I sleep, and I do not trust waking to bring me morning.”

you think in matter-of-fact sentences because you are a grown-up,
but also because that’s how the thoughts come.
there’s something that you do trust
that’s enough to warm you as this unseasonable may
comes to a close.
you never stopped liking the way the big trees swayed
and you think how they might fall
but they haven’t yet.
you think how it’s kind of okay not to trust them:
you trust something else.

                                                   (pain is lucrative.
                                                   so is smiling.)

                 a female cardinal perches outside the window of
                 the room, just as you arrive to leave again
                 and you think how she's just as pretty as the
                 candy-apple-red male, though she's dark against the tree trunk

and when you’re back to celebrate the years since leaving
you might even trust that tree trunk
and the girlcardinal you have to squint to see

                                                   you might also trust morning, then,
                                                   and night.

meantime, the sky lightens:
sundrops while the rain comes loudly still.

I destroy homes.
I tear families apart.
I'm more costly than diamonds,more precious than gold.
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me,remember I'm easily found.
I live all around you.
I live with the rich,I live with the poor,down the street & maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab,but not like you think.
I can be made under your kitchen sink.
I have many names but there's one you know best,my name is Crystal ****.
My power is awesome,try me you'll see.
But if you do you may never break free.
Just try me once & I may let you go.
But try me twice & I'll own your soul.
When I possess you you'll steal & you'll lie.
You do what you have to-just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms,will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms (your lungs & your nose).
You'll lie to your mother,you'll steal from your dad.
When you see their tears - you should be sad.-
But you'll forget your morals & how you were raised.
I'll be your conscience.
I'll teach you my ways.
I turn people from God & separate friends.
I'll take everything from you.
Your looks & your pride.
I'll be with you always-right by your side.
You'll give up everything,your family,your home.
Your friends,your money,then you'll be alone.
I'll take & take,till you have nothing more to give.
When I'm finished with you,you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned-this is no game.
If given the chance I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body.
I'll control your mind.
I'll own you completely.
Your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you.
The voices you'll hear from inside your head.
The sweats,the shakes,the visions you'll see.
I want you to know these are all gifts from me.
You'll regret that you tried me,they always do.
But you came to me - Not I to You!
You knew this would happen,many times you were told.
But you challenged my power & chose to be bold.
You could have said no & walked away.
If you could have that day over what would you say?
I'll be your master & you my slave.
I'll even go with you to your Grave.
Come take my hand,let me lead you to hell.

today
a girl
tried to say
that i looked
like an elephant
as if to suggest
i were quite hideously fat
i told her
that elephants
are adorable
and that at least
I'M cute
maybe to the world
i am an elephant
i don't care
i just wish
sometimes
i guess
that elephants
could
forget

my dad bought me
a subwoofer
and speakers
for my laptop
as a birthday gift...
my brain
is being smashed
against the side of my skull
repeatedly
with the waves
of bass
that are coming off this thing
sorry, neighborhood.
:D!!!!!!