There was once a time
When I thought you were smart
So brilliant and beautiful
But now I know how dumb you truly are
Stupid, even
You lied and rejected my unconditional love
It brought out your true colors
Ugly

Thinking of you
Riles me up
I get all hot
And act corrupt

I get ***** thoughts
I can't help it
I'm full of needs
And you're the culprit

My imagination
Takes me far
It's hard believing
How **** you are

I'll never get enough
Of the things you do
Oh how I think of them
The whole day through

I'll be here waiting
When you want to try
C'mon now baby
It'll take us high

She told me you're a cheater
But I already knew
I see through all your lies
And that's something you can't undo

You say you're with someone
Then you say you're not
It's always a different story
That really can't be bought

I'm a fool because I'm well aware
Yet I give in because I'm weak for you
I try to forget and maybe believe
That you could perhaps love me too

Your actions speak much louder than your words
Even if you say all the right things
But proving them is what matters
Proving them is what true love brings

You never prove it

we always seemed to have fought
every other day
i don't know if it was because
we were doing something wrong
or because we just really care
our last fight
wasn't like the others
it was more extreme
we said some things
we probably didn't mean
i feel so unwelcome now
like you don't want me around
i feel like i always break your heart
and by hurting you
i break mine too
it was never my intention
i've just been so confused
normally we talk things out
but this time around
you said i needed to think
think about what i want
and it hasn't been that long
but i'm already beginning to miss you
our talks were so fun
we would go back and forth immediately
it was something i told you
i always appreciated
i hope you've been thinking about me too
i really miss how caring you were
and sweet
i don't think we will be
what we used to be
but i still want to be your friend
at least
maybe you can't do that
i'm sorry my heart is stuck in another place
but i will never forget
the potential that we once had

Sleepless nights spent missing you
Wishing you were by my side
I can't stand my life without you
You were my light
And now you've burned out
I wish I could have you back
But I know there's no hope for reconciliation
You're selfish
You can't forgive me
You can't even see me for who I am
You don't look at what's in my heart
And what's in my mind and soul
You just look at my past and my wrongdoings
And you judge me based on so little
I always look at you fondly
I've never judged you
However
I don't even know why I want you
You're only interested in your own personal gain
I'm so exhausted of occupying this trap you've set
I suppose only time can help me out of it

He and I spend the nights together
Caught up in each other's eyes
The television as background noise
The only light in the dark living room
Close cuddles on the couch
Deep kisses intoxicate
Make me forget all the bad
And remember who I've given my heart to
The one who makes me feel warm
Even on the coldest nights

I sleep soundly
With him beside me
Almost every night
We hold each other tight
There's nothing that I lack
I know he has my back
He is so generous
God has a plan for us
It's a beautiful thing
When he talks about a ring
Calls me his spouse
Wants to buy me a house
This is perfect, this is rare
He's my soulmate, this I swear
Our love is strong
It's based off our bond
A best friendship
Evolved into
A dream relationship
Thank you God
For such a blessing

As the weather changes
So does my mind state
The colder it gets
The more I feel great

Fall is upon us
Winter is soon to follow
And during these months
I feel less hollow

Bundling up
And drinking hot tea
Makes for a calming day to day
Always feeling free

Scarf around my neck
Hoodie over my head
Nothing to do
Except cuddle in bed

Weather is powerful
It can change moods
I let it work its magic
Only hope it alludes

It's the time to reflect
During this time of year
On all we've been blessed with
With that, our purpose becomes clear

Only love, laughter, and joy
Cancel out the negative
Appreciate what surrounds you
And everything is positive

I can't quite express
What weather does
But it changes something in me
And I'm filled with love

Nature is a beautiful thing
Insanely under appreciated
But it's something I cherish
Because my peace it created

I would rather die
Than live a life
Without you

Some people are insecure
About their ****** features
Their nose
Their eyes
Their chin
Their ears
Their mouth
Maybe others are insecure
With their body type
Perhaps they don't like
Their arms
Their legs
Their ****
Their chest
Their stomach
And so on
A few are destined to hate
Their distraught mind
The one that makes them go
Nuts
Their thoughts get them in trouble
With themselves
With their family
With their friends
With their peers
Some folk tend to really
Self critique
Self judge
Self hate
To the point of destruction
I wish some people could realize
That they're beautiful in another person's eyes
And the things that they hate
Are the things we others love

It's my birthday today
I turn 22
I don't feel like I'm very
Put together
I was born in '91
On a Friday, on the 13th
I guess I'm not that lucky
And I might never be
In my short 22 years
I've seen death
I've seen drugs
I've seen poverty & struggle
I've seen depression
In my short 22 years
I've seen prosperity
I've seen happiness
I've seen love
I've seen success
Life is all about the journey
The ride you take
It's all about the ups and the downs
And all the obstacles
My 22 year old self
Will live to be
Smarter, stronger
Better, kinder
I'm determined to not let
This year go to waste
Maybe this time next year
I will feel more
Put together

Being in a relationship is new
It's been quite a long time
I must admit
But it is nice
To be back in it

Being in a relationship is sweet
Knowing he is there
Always trying not to stare
Loving unconditionally
To my heart, he has the key

Being in a relationship is gentle
Having someone
To caress you lovingly
To kiss you passionately
To care about you deeply

Being in a relationship is special
Both love like they breathe
And accept each other for all
There is no judgement
They just continue to fall

Being in a relationship is safe
My male counterpart
Always keeps me in mind
Thinking of only my needs
Never met anyone so kind

Being in a relationship
It's a mighty blessing
Don't let it get away
Or that will be depressing

I think about my baby
And how she's all alone
The many things I'd do to her
I have to make it known

I'd give her kisses deep and soft
Her tongue will taste so sweet
With my hands on her hips
Our kissing will create a beat

Then clothes will come off
Things will grow in passion
Her body will feel like silk
Her skin better than the highest fashion

She will make me guide her
Right over to our bed
We will lay down and kiss
Make me feel out of my head

I will travel down her belly
Worshipping every inch
She will shiver and she will shake
The sensation making her flinch

As I make my way down
She naturally spreads her legs
I fit right in-between them
This point is when she begs

I kiss the very part of her
That is the most private
Her moans reassure me
That she truly, really loves it

Her **** sounds of pleasure
Make my job so rewarding
I could do this forever
It will never get boring

As I continue my loving
Right on her sweet spot
She moves in sync with me
Giving me all that she's got

I take her to the highest place
I go right along with her
We have a lot of ailments
But we are each other's cure

She explodes and it tastes so good
Her hands are on my head
And she pulls me to her
Heaven is what we have in our
own
little
bed

you tried to convince me
that she was bad
but i know the real her
and you're just a stranger
i'll never trust you
not ever again
you used me
just to draw out
a pointless feud
with someone else
i hope you never
get over your jealousy
she's way better than you
in every way
you may have the spotlight
but that doesn't mean ****
when in the dark
you're alone
wallowing in the fact
that you use everyone in your path
my heart will always belong
to the one who got it first
you can't just pretend to love me
i can see through your lies
i will always belong to her
and it's you i'll forever despise
for trying to take me away
from someone i'll always want
but you failed

i'm such an impatient person
it stems from my insecurities
but that's no excuse
i treat my friends like they don't exist
ignoring their calls
and their invitations
rarely do i ever socialize
i treat my supposed lovers
like they're nothing
it's as if they don't matter to me
like i don't care if i lose them
what is wrong with me?
for someone who was once so selfless
it would appear to an outsider as though
i'm the most selfish person
making everything about me
comparing myself to others
acting like my struggle is worse
i would never want to hang around
someone like me
i'm impossible to deal with
impossible to please
i hate myself
so i hate the world around me

It is so hard to cope
With the loss of you
You treated me
Like I was priceless
As if I were a true queen
Your words, care, and affection
Ran through me
Like blood runs through my veins
And now that you are absent
It is as though
I'm lifeless
Nothing sustaining my body
No person or thing
Can make my heart beat again
No experience
Can ignite the passion in my soul
As you used to do
There is no one as intellectual as you
My mind is under stimulated
Since I lost you
I've been living on auto pilot
Living a lie of a life
Not reaching my goals
Or even attempting them
A permanent state of apathy and indifference
Towards what the world has to offer
To me, there's nothing without you
I can't move on from what we wanted to be
What we wanted to accomplish
Together as a unit
And now that death
Has separated us
I don't have much of a purpose
Anymore
Other than to have faith and hope
In the idea that there is an afterlife
And that I may get to see you
On the other side

I'm torn between her and him
And I don't know what to do
I probably shouldn't make a decision
Based on a whim
Hopefully this doesn't cloud my vision

I wonder where we would be
If you hadn't died

I have the best of friends
The kind that can watch me cry
And hear me complain
About my so called "problems"
Which in the grand scheme of things
Probably aren't that big of a deal
But in that moment of weakness
My true friends are there for me
Always caring, always loving
They give me hope
Hope that used to be tainted
By fake people
People who lie and cheat
People who use me
For what?
Just to let me go?
Time after time
I never knew what the point was
But those are people
I wish to no longer speak to
What I do wish for
Is eternal happiness
For my friends
For my family
Who truly love me for me
They see my extreme flaws
They accept my heart
And its ridiculous emotions
They accept my mind
And its crazy assumptions
They know that I am a lover
They know I am not a fighter
They cherish me
And I cherish them
They hate those
That hurt me
That ruin me
And that is something
That they do for me
They get angry
To see me so hurt
And that is why
They are my real friends

So it's okay for you to talk to anons all day
And it's okay for you to talk about your ex and say
That you still have feelings for him which makes you start to stray
But I can't talk to one lousy anon
Without you taking it wrong
And suddenly you act cold and short
When I pay you a compliment, you just retort
I've declared my love time after time
Given you no opportunity to second guess these feelings of mine
Yet here you are, insecure and jealous at something innocent
Now all I am feeling is love spent.

Our relationship is so complicated
But it's anything but overrated
The love we share is concrete
No other feeling can compete

We make each other so happy
Together we form an army
That can withstand all adversity
We go about our love assertively

We don't want to hide
Or get over our pride
We want everyone to see
That our love sets us free

We've held back for so long
Always thinking our love was wrong
But now we're able to express
This beautiful relationship we possess

I truly feel like we're made for each other
I truly feel like you're my number one lover
Without you, I'd go crazy
You clear my mind when it gets all hazy

To have that peace and pleasure
Gives me contentment that I can't measure
Never stop giving your love, angel
Because to you, I'll always be faithful

I'm curled up and cold
No matter how I bundle up
I never get warm
My heart is frozen
My tears keep me company
From all the emptiness
I feel within me
My soul aches
From a hunger so strong
But there's nothing here to nourish me
This pain is so real
I feel myself bleeding
From the inside out
Curled up and cold
Starting to close my eyes
So that I can drift away
Into a dream
The only place I'm loved
The only place I'm wanted
Reality is just too hard
I don't want to go on
So I'm curled up and cold
In a few minutes I'll be asleep
And for the hours that I'm away
I'll be a little bit okay

I wish for one minute
I could stop thinking about you

I'm officially ending this war
My white flag is raised
I've been emptied
My soul and my heart
No longer want to continue
This long and drawn out fight
I forgive you for lying to me
For leading me on countless times
For telling me you loved me when you didn't
And for breaking not only my heart
But my spirit
I surrender
You win

When you kiss me
It releases me
From the chains
That bind my brain

I get this feeling
It's like I'm healing
Can't get enough
End up wanting it rough

Your touch is intoxicating
Your taste is levitating
I could do this all day
I always want to stay

It takes me so high
Even feels like I have died
And gone to heaven
In our own love haven

The feeling I get
Feels like we fit
In the pit of my stomach
Warm like I'm sipping Malbec

Your lips fit perfectly with mine
The sensation I get is so divine
I want these moments to last forever
I want you wherever, whenever

I look into your eyes
You're better than the other guys
Such a beautiful affair
Perfect and rare

On a wintery day such as this
All I need is my dog
And it's bliss
I look into her shepherd eyes
And I am simply mesmerized
Filled with loyalty and admiration
Her love is all I need
Never has she acted on me in greed
She knows when I'm sad
Walks towards me when it's bad
Leans on me, letting me know she's there
She understands me even in despair
She licks my hand to say "it's okay"
She gives me comfort in every way
I couldn't imagine waking up
And not having her by my side
It truly was a miracle finding her
She makes perfect my normal life

i get really sad
and somewhat heartbroken
when i think of all the things
that i don't know about you
i don't know where you go
or what you do
it may seem weird
that i would want to know
all of the little things
like what you eat
and when you go to bed
and what you do with your day
but i guess that's what love is
i'm interested in everything
that i could possibly know
it ***** that most of you
is kept so private
i would share anything with you
i guess you have to protect yourself
but i'll tell you right now
i'm not dangerous
and i love you enough
to where i would never
want to harm you
or use anything against you
no matter what
i wouldn't dare think of it
i just want to know you
thick and thin
through and through
i feel like i'm shown one person
and the rest of the world
the real world
is shown something else
i want to experience who you truly are
not just some part of you
or some held off
piece of you
i want all of you
i want to know everything you think
everything you say
and everything you do
i want you
one hundred percent
i want to know all the secrets
that you don't share with anyone else
i want to know all the different parts of you
the dark ones and deep ones
that only come out at night
the light and funny ones
that come out on a good day
the hard working and dedicated ones
that come out when you are focused
i want to see it all
because i love you
and to think i don't know all there is to know
rips me in two

I'd rather have my heart broken
Than be the one to hurt another
The feelings of guilt and deception
Creep up taking over the mind
It's hard to sleep at night
When you leave someone
Because feelings went astray
There are no words
That one could possibly say
When you leave someone
You actually feel like the devil
******* the life out of someone
Stooping to the lowest level
When you leave someone
It is all so confusing
What led us to here
It leaves us refusing
Our reality
Once so in love
Now fighting with brutality
I feel so wrong
For leaving you that one day
I broke your heart
I wish I could've stayed
But it's ironic
How things unravel
Now my heart is broken
And I'm left baffled
By our awkward friendship
I hope you can forgive me
Didn't want to destroy you
Didn't think I possessed
Such a power
Didn't think I could feel
Any lower
But I do
I hope you know
How much I loved you
And always will

Sometimes I sit on my bed
Looking at your picture
Your smiling face
Your bright eyes
Oh how wonderful
You made my life

Sometimes I cry & put on Pink Floyd
We used to listen together
About life and struggles
We would talk deeply
We were the only deep ones
That's right, just you and me

Sometimes I wonder where your spirit has gone
Are you soaring in nature?
Are you smiling down from heaven?
That beautiful smile I miss so much
How I wish to see your face
How I wish for one last touch

Sometimes I feel my memories start to fade
But all it takes is a smell
Or a song, maybe an image
And they all rush back to me
At times it can feel so real
Can't believe I lost you completely

Your death is my reminder
To never waste a second
I love you my best friend, my lover
And I'll always long for you
And I'll always cherish all
That we ever went through

I am plagued
With the curse
Of your sweet love

Of course you ignore me
I don't know why I expected any different
You're so back and forth, like a flea
It's as if your silence is deliberate

I have spent years wasting my time
Over thinking and worrying about you
Hoping one day you wouldn't think loving me is a crime
Over you, I'm sick of being blue

You talk to me as if you're in love
You're around me as if you need my presence
But sometimes you fly away like a dove
Disregarding my feelings and our talk sessions

You tell me I'm pretty
And you tell me I could get anybody
But you make me feel so ******
When you can't even love me

Why are you so scared of your best friend
That makes no sense
I'm so sick of this trend
Back and forth, this is all so tense

I keep saying time will tell
But I've waited too long
Too bad I already fell
Too bad you think we are wrong

Pretty soon I'll be moving on
And you'll stay stagnant
You'll sit around and wonder where I've gone
My love for you will be absent

The guy that takes good care of me
Buys me medicine when I'm sick
Buys me food when I'm hungry
Takes me out on dates
Really knows how to love me

The guy that comforts me when I'm sad
Holds me close to his heart
Caresses my back with his strong hands
Plays with my hair to soothe my soul
Really knows how to understand

The guy that has fun with me daily
We smile and we laugh
We're like little children
The games make my heart sing
Really knows how to win

The guy that sees me for who I am
Looks past my flaws and imperfections
So kindly deals with my insecurities
And tells me I'm beautiful
Really knows ******* my worries

The guy that is my best friend
My one and only confidant
My soulmate since forever
He's my everything, my all
Really knows how to get her

The guy that I give my heart to
The guy that is worth all my time
The guy that always comes through
The guy that I'm fortunate to call mine

I'm sorry for the way I acted
But can you blame me
For having such passion
Who else has made
Such a fuss over you
I doubt many people
Love you like I do
I hate the spell
You've casted upon me
It's made me different
And now I've gone crazy

Despite every morning
Feeling anger and sadness
Regret and disgust
I still remember feeling
All of the lust

It's hard to interpret
Exactly what I want
My feelings are so mixed
One day I'm longing for you
The next day I'm ******

I read people well
I have always known
Where your heart resides
It's never been with me
I'm not sure why I even tried

You're not the only one
That I've ever loved
But I feel such a strong attraction
That I've never felt
Towards someone so foreign

You have such a perfect face
Your eyes hypnotize
And your lips tease
Your whole entire body
Gets me begging you "please"

I firmly believe for as long as I live
That I will always want you
Your heart, body, and soul
You're my only weakness
You'll always be a part of my whole