It's been us for a while
It's been us for years
We were just held back
But now we have no fears

There's nothing in our way
With each other, we spend our time
Hanging out all day
Not seeing each other is a crime

We have so many firsts yet to experience
I can't wait to try them all
With the one I am meant for
I have already begun to fall

Throughout my days
I am so uneasy
But when you hold my hand
Everything feels calm and breezy

It's like a light breeze
On a scorching hot day
You soothe me, and I feel calm
My lap is where you lay

I love being close to you
I wouldn't ever turn back
We were meant to be more
It was the us we always did lack

You're my everything
You're my fate
You're my joy
My soulmate

Haven't been this drunk in a while
Can barely type this
I feel like my body is in a pile
Separate from my mind

My mind
It wanders
To far away places
In darkness, it ponders

I'll never be good enough
Never pretty
Just a stupid pile of stuff
But never wanting your pity

Pity is for the weak
I'd rather be alone
I know that I am a freak
But I don't give a ****

*******
If you don't like me
You think I need you?
Ha, bite me

I'm thankful for God
I'm infinitely blessed
And without Him
I'd have no strength

I'm thankful for my family
They're my pillar in this world
My support system
My purpose

I'm thankful for my dog
I've never known such an unconditional love
My dog is my light
An extension of me

I'm thankful for my friends
The ones that have my back
And tell me the truth
We laugh together, think together
Expanding our minds

I'm thankful for the boy
Who gives me his whole heart
Says I'm his saving grace
He makes me feel worthy
Of the world

I'm thankful for my university
The thing that gives me hope
Makes me feel like I have direction
And a fighting chance in this society

I'm thankful for the mistakes
For they taught me how to grow
And better myself
Be the real me

I'm thankful to those who have wronged me
The liars, players, cheaters, and users
They've shown me what I really deserve
And what not to tolerate

I'm thankful for nature
Where I find peace in solitude
The flowers, the sun, the moon, and stars
They're my guide to faith and positivity

Lastly,
I'm thankful for my poetry
Even though I'm not the best
It's given me a place to express myself
When I had no where else to go

I'm in bed with my baby
Oh how happy he makes me

Thank you,
Best Friend
For bringing me
Comfort
Security
Love
Generosity
You keep me sane
I love you

You are so sweet
Like peaches
In the summer time

i sink my fork into a heaping bowl
twist and turn to form a roll
swirls around, i salivate
no longer can i wait
i indulge and it feels so good
tastes so delicious just like it should

The distant tinge of teardrops
And memories dewed with moss

I'm not very attracted
To those who're easy
Those who go out
And act like they're so hot
Like what they do
Doesn't matter
As if there are
No consequences
I can get to know you
And love how you are
Love how you look
Walk and talk
But if you do that
With everyone
That crosses your path
You're no longer that special
Nor are you unique
You're not a person
Worth treasuring
It's a shame
People don't realize
Every choice
Makes a difference
When it comes to
Building one's character

I can hardly handle
My yearn
My want
My need
For you
You're within my reach
You're within my grasp
I want every waking moment with you
Is that too much to ask?

I can hardly handle
This love I possess
It's so strong
I feel I'm a mess
I can't get you off my mind
But I don't want to
My concentration
Is set on loving you

The disappointment I feel
When it's been just a few hours apart
Is so overwhelming
Feels like I took a dart
Straight to my heart
Thank goodness for our proximity
Without it
I'd die from insanity

relief is such a good feeling
all that weight off your shoulders
you can now start over
your head is suddenly clear
contentment is near
the past is behind you
taught you things you never knew
you're ready for the future
you've healed all your sutures
now life is on your side
you've gotten over your pride
the light at the tunnel is beginning to shine
once so low but now feeling fine
life has a way of working out
there is no reason to doubt
fate has in store something great
sometimes you just have to wait
relief is such a good feeling
no more false hope
or walking on a tight rope
positivity takes over the negative
and now you begin again

I miss you
When you're asleep
Alone in your bed
I wish you could rest
In my arms
I'd hold you so close
Right near my heart
Where you belong
With me
We can be
Eternally happy
You light up my life
Now let me light up yours
You're the fire
Ignited in my soul
We're just getting started
We have a lot more to go
On this adventure together
We'll always feel in love
No matter what the weather

There are some people
Who wear their heart
Openly on their sleeve
Only to have it
Violently ripped off
And never cherished

There are some people
Who invest far too much care
In the world around them
And end up getting hurt
By nearly everyone
No expectations are met

There are some people
Who worry themselves sick
With the thought
That they are unloved
All because someone else
Is incompetent

There are some people
Who stay awake at night
Pondering the idea that
They are ugly and unworthy
This is a dangerous lie
Yet they still believe it

There are some people
Who wake up every morning
Fighting the urge to cry
They fail and let the tears flow
A symbol of all the emotion
They have built up

There are some people
Whose generosity
Care and affection
Go wildly unnoticed
And under appreciated
This causes them to break

There are some people
Who, after a while,
Break down tremendously
Enter a dark place
Only to return to the light
A completely different person

There are some people
Who experience so much let down
And so much heart break
That their heart is no longer
On their sleeve, it's nowhere
All at the fault of another

There are some people
Who have to learn
To give up on those
That are incapable of affection
Incapable of selflessness
And move on to what they deserve

I am one of those people
And I refuse to keep sinking
At the hands of people
Who couldn't care less
About me and my love
I am worthy of much more

It ***** when you're in love with your best friend who is also the fraternal twin brother of your ex.

Rejection is so normal for me. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll be alone forever. And it doesn't even bother me. I'm used to being independent and on my own. I'm used to not needing validation from anyone. I've become numb to the sorrow that I'm careless with my every day. My once pained muscle of a beating heart is now like a black rock, immune to anything thrown its way. The feeling of loving someone that doesn't love me back used to make my stomach drop and my heart sink, but then I reminded myself of how I already knew I wasn't lovable.

She puts thoughts
Into my head
She says you're a liar
A cheater
She says you'll never
Accept me
For who I truly am
She calls me an idiot
For giving you
More chances
I don't believe her
When she says you don't
Love me
But after a while
I think of our
History
And start to wonder
If it's all true
And now
I am frightened
Because in the end
I'll most likely
Be left
By myself

I like the different months
How each one brings new experiences
And holds the birth of those
That mean the most to me

Like January
Bringing in a new year
And a fresh start
Just as my father taught me
Out with the old, in with the new

And February
How it reminds us of love
Filling our hearts with joy
Just as my best friend
Does for me daily

Along comes March
Oh, **** and brilliant March
The start of a new season
Just like she sparked something new
Inside of me

Followed by April
Bright and colorful April
Showers water the flowers
Just like my soul sister and I
Relish in fun times together

Next is May
Shiny and strong like the sun
Marks the beginning of summer
My brother and I kayak
And bond in the deep heat of Texas

After May is June
Marking the longest daylight hours
Of the whole year
My mother is a June baby
And she is my light in the dark, my pearl

Scorching July rolls through
Fast paced and chaotic
The peak of summer
I recall Camp Longhorn
And all the girls I got to enjoy it with

Autumn begins with bold August
School commences
New opportunities arise
Who better to experience them with
Than my favorite twins

September arrives
Wake me up when it ends
This month reminds me of how
I no longer have my best friend
Once always older than me
Now it is I who takes the lead

October brings orange and deep reds
Soothing hot tea and cuddles
Almost as soothing as both my grandparents
My true greatest examples
Of what it's like to be a warrior

Thankful for November
The time to reflect over the year
Thankful for being alive
Thankful for all who was ever born
And blessed my life

And last but not least
December
Oh what a weird time
Since the birthday celebrated this month
Is mine

I love days like this
Days we spend together
Enjoying the weather

It's getting colder outside
Wonderful opportunity
For our hands to collide

Hugs & kisses
Cups of warm soup
Homemade by us
Not one fuss
Just love to profess
Just love to progress
It doesn't get better than this

Having you around
Makes me feel
Safe and sound
I love days like this
It feels like pure bliss

I love calling you mine
& when you take up my time
You fill up my mind
You're one of a kind

I can't live without you
I would never make do
I love days like this
Perfection does exist

I'm so in love with this girl
And I know she loves me too
But sometimes she doesn't
And I'm like, "What did I do?"

It's so **** confusing
I've gotten used to it now
So I just give her space
Unsure of what she'll allow

I want to talk like normal
When we're loving and flirty
She really is everything
Sometimes even a little *****

The perfect combination
Of wisdom and beauty
But she plays hard to get
Winning her is my duty

However,
I definitely got her
Kind of right where I want her
Because at the end of the day
I'm on her mind
Without me, the world's a blur
She's in love with me
And I'm in love with her

Wanting to live a different life
Is the hardest obstacle to overcome
Because it's impossible
You're stuck in the body you've been given
You're stuck in the mind that feels like a prison
There's no way out
Just pure misery
Loneliness and doubt
Not only do I hate myself
But everyone around me
Doesn't seem to give a ****
If I just disappeared
That would actually be good luck
Constantly feeling like I'm sick
Makes every day a living hell
My heart's in my stomach
That's not where it belongs
I can tell
The dissatisfaction life brings
Almost seems like a joke
Is this a ******* nightmare?
Excuse me while I choke
Tomorrow will be the same
No hope, no love
Only bitterness and shame
My want to escape
Is stronger than my want
For even the finest things
If only I could just
Disappear

i'm afraid to say that i will no longer be posting my poetry, at least for a long while. i feel like my need to write, my inspiration to write, and my purpose of writing isn't really there anymore. even though i write new material every day, i still don't feel encouraged nor inspired enough to post it, and for personal reasons at that. it has absolutely nothing to do with the hello poetry community. you all have been wonderful and i'm really thankful to have read such amazing poems come from you all, and i am grateful for all of the feedback you all have given me. i'm just at a point in my life where i am trying to stay away from certain things. i feel like my poetry is somewhat pointless now, and i'm feeling discouraged in many areas of my life. so, until next time, i won't be posting anymore. i will be getting on here and there just to read what you all post, because i enjoy it so much. but other than that, you won't be seeing much of me anymore. thanks again for all the support.
love,
me.

When crisis strikes
And panic starts to arise
I turn to you
And it's no surprise
Your voice is calming
Your words comfort
I sigh a breath of relief
As my worries avert
With you in my life
It is never dark
Nothing troubles me
There's only a bright spark
Ignited in my heart
And rooted in my mind
Nothing will keep me apart
From the assurance you provide
I've never experienced
A secure love such as this
I wake up every morning
Feeling happiness and bliss
Nothing brings me down
When I see your handsome face
You are my whole world
And I long for your embrace
When you hold me close
In your loving arms
I am so at ease
You are my lucky charm
Nothing will defeat
Our infallible love
And it is because
You fit me like a glove

My cause of death won't be
A physical ailment
I won't have a heart attack
I won't get heart disease
I won't be plagued with cancer
I won't die of old age

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I give all of myself
I stop whatever it is I'm doing
To help those around me
I listen to and advise my friends
I assist my family
While no one does that for me
I am left alone 99% of the time

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I must internalize
Whatever emotions I feel
Because nobody understands
How deeply they go
They judge me and find me crazy
There is no one out there
Who is as equally emotionally strung
I am alone

The cause of my death will be
The fact that when I get sick
Or when I am hospitalized
Like I was earlier this month
No one seems to think it's a big deal
My mother doesn't pay much mind
Not even the one I'm in love with
Said one word to me
I was alone

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I don't see hope for the future
I see ignorance all around me
I see laziness and poverty
I don't see any opportunities
For me to get out of this place
I am wandering aimlessly
And alone

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I hate myself
For allowing my heart and my soul
To break as they both have
I am hypersensitive
I feel abandoned
I am weak and fragile
Even in a crowd of people
I always feel alone

No, I will not die from something physical
I will die from a broken heart

It’s sad how we always argue
Over misunderstandings
Do you know why I got upset?
Because you left me wondering
Whether or not you wanted me around
That time you stopped talking to me
For no apparent reason
So I lashed out
I gave up
Even though I will never truly
Give up this fight
I went away
I thought you wanted it that way
Then I got sad
And upset because how I understood it
Was that you didn’t care
To speak to me
Or care that
I wasn’t around
I’m not perfect
Not as perfect as you
But I thought my love could be enough
I loved you with every fiber of my soul
And I always will
You can hate me
And think I’m horrible
You can regret me
And wish for my nonexistence
But I am happily in love with you
Even though you’re not happily in love with me
And thoughts of you in my mind
Never fail to make me smile
I think of all the good you are
And how much I enjoy every bit of it
I think back on the time
When we were happy with each other
And that’s how I plan on remembering you
Because the fights
And the exchange of mean words
Doesn’t reflect how we truly feel
At least for me
It just proves that we care

I'm not sure why people love *** so much
Maybe I haven't had the right partners
Maybe I'm too insecure to enjoy it
That's most likely my problem
Or maybe it's just overrated
Every time I'm in bed
Attempting to crawl out of my shell
And give pleasure to my lover
I just want it to be over
I'm so preoccupied with being ashamed of myself
And embarrassed
Obviously I'm my own worst enemy
But *** isn't that enjoyable for me
I only like to give
I rarely allow myself to receive
I guess everyone else out there
Is having enough *** for me

I have absolutely the dirtiest
Most naughty thoughts
I've ever had
And they're all about you
I honestly think about your pleasure
Twenty four hours a day
Seven days a week
I die just thinking about the way we'd kiss
Slow and soft at first
Then they'd grow in passion
I imagine your tongue
The way it would easily slide into my mouth
Our lips chaotically battling each other
While my hands touch and caress your body
Neck kisses would make you weak
Just like the small moans you allow to escape your body
Are my weakness
They're lovely triggers
Forcing me to lower myself down your body
And stake claim over what used to be mine
I wouldn't just devour you
I'd worship you