You take over my heart
Just like you take over my mind
I almost forgot
The feelings you gave me
Such a longing
To make you happy
I just want you to see
That you're the one for me
I will never seize
To want your affection
And need your love
You're what I live and breathe for
There's no one else above
You're my number one
My eyes are set on you
Be my baby for always
And make my dreams come true

The hardest thing to do
I've discovered
Is try and cover up
A sad face
An exhausted face
For the past 5 or so months
I've been walking aimlessly
Carrying around a heavy weight
That has emotionally ruined me
I'm out of whack
I'll never be the same
Parents and friends
They've noticed a difference
And not a small one
I've grown more disrespectful
And less patient
As if I wasn't a hermit before
Now all one can find me doing
Is sleeping
In my bedroom
I try and tell those close to me
That I'm fine
Nothing is wrong
I'm just tired
Only one of those is true
I'm tired
And I'm sick
Of feeling like this

His mouth is so flawless
The way he speaks
And the way it moves
With every word
When we kiss
It's magic
Our lips were designed
To fit and belong with one another
They're perfectly entwined

As the seconds pass
Our need for each other arises
It heats up
With passionate feelings
Abrupt movements
It's almost as though we are in our own movie
A love scene
Scripted by us
The perfect love story

Desires keep expanding
As our fulfillment deepens
We are loving each other
Not only mentally and emotionally
But physically
Infatuated with one another
The perfect blissful time
Relishing in thoughts of forever
The curtains never close
And the chapters never end
In our love story

Name calling is
A sign of weakness
And of vulnerability

2013 was
The year I fell in love with you
The year you broke my heart
The year I changed completely
All because of the failure
Of you and me

2014 will be
The year that I get over you
The year I rehabilitate myself
The year that I start new
And spend it on the people
Who actually love me

I thought that by now
I would've ran out of tears
But I guess not
You're no longer in my life
And that makes me cry
Every single day

It's funny how now you feel the need to hide
When you were the one
Trying to seep into my life
Don't try and turn this situation
Into something it's not

It hurts me so much
I've never known a pain such as this
You don't care about me
Meanwhile
You're the only thing I care about
Do you know how hard it is to stay away
To let you be
The hardest thing I've ever had to do
Why are we this way
I just want to go back
Back to when you were mine
And then just freeze time

I may write about you
I may think about you
But it doesn't mean
That I still dream about you
Or that I still want you
I don't even think it means that I love you
These poems
These extra ramblings
Are my way of ridding my spirit of your toxic presence
I'm liberating myself of the constant feeling of rejection
I'm relieving myself of the tremendous feelings of guilt
But most of all
I'm shedding away all of the feelings of unworthiness and ugliness that you caused me to feel
You ripped me in two
These poems get rid of the brokenness
While I attempt to puzzle myself back together
You left me a mess
That's how I know you're not the best
I'm moving on now
And you'll be sorry
Because there will come a time
When you'll really need me

Do you remember
How I dug you out
Of that deep and dark hole
That was your life

Do you recall
How I pulled you out
Of despondency and despair
Made your life worth the living

I treated you like the queen
That I took you to be
And all you did
Was make a fool out of me

I made you better
Happier and stronger
I had only the best intentions
But you were clearly using me

I gave every thing I had
Exhausted every effort
And all I got in return
Was you ignoring and forgetting

I didn't even get a thank you
Even though I saved you
Do you even care
I wish I would've just left you there
To suffer more on your own
But I guess we'll always know
Who the better person is

My heart feels on fire
I lay in bed and think of you
Tears slowly roll out of my eyes
One by one
Just like it does right before
A thunder storm is about to take place
My tear droplets analogous with rain drops
My thoughts replacing the sound of thunder
How you reeled me in so perfectly
With the way you'd tell me things
The way you'd lie
I always still wonder why
What was the point of making me weak
So weak I'd do anything for you
Making it impossible for me to give you up
You lifted me up so high
Only to throw me back down
So far down that an indention
Formed in my soul
I loved you so sweetly
So genuinely
Isn't that what you want?
I'll never have you
My heart is truly on fire
Burning for the one
I can't have

**** people
Who tell you they're in love with you
When they aren't
**** people
Who like to lie to others
Just to make themselves
Feel better
*******
For doing that
To me

I know you don't love me
You love him
Or you love her
Whoever it is
That always captures your attention
But just know
That whenever you want
Real love
I'll be here

I need a twelve step program
But not to stop any substance abuse
Rather, to stop a love that I can't seem to let go of