you tried to convince me
that she was bad
but i know the real her
and you're just a stranger
i'll never trust you
not ever again
you used me
just to draw out
a pointless feud
with someone else
i hope you never
get over your jealousy
she's way better than you
in every way
you may have the spotlight
but that doesn't mean ****
when in the dark
you're alone
wallowing in the fact
that you use everyone in your path
my heart will always belong
to the one who got it first
you can't just pretend to love me
i can see through your lies
i will always belong to her
and it's you i'll forever despise
for trying to take me away
from someone i'll always want
but you failed

we always seemed to have fought
every other day
i don't know if it was because
we were doing something wrong
or because we just really care
our last fight
wasn't like the others
it was more extreme
we said some things
we probably didn't mean
i feel so unwelcome now
like you don't want me around
i feel like i always break your heart
and by hurting you
i break mine too
it was never my intention
i've just been so confused
normally we talk things out
but this time around
you said i needed to think
think about what i want
and it hasn't been that long
but i'm already beginning to miss you
our talks were so fun
we would go back and forth immediately
it was something i told you
i always appreciated
i hope you've been thinking about me too
i really miss how caring you were
and sweet
i don't think we will be
what we used to be
but i still want to be your friend
at least
maybe you can't do that
i'm sorry my heart is stuck in another place
but i will never forget
the potential that we once had

My cause of death won't be
A physical ailment
I won't have a heart attack
I won't get heart disease
I won't be plagued with cancer
I won't die of old age

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I give all of myself
I stop whatever it is I'm doing
To help those around me
I listen to and advise my friends
I assist my family
While no one does that for me
I am left alone 99% of the time

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I must internalize
Whatever emotions I feel
Because nobody understands
How deeply they go
They judge me and find me crazy
There is no one out there
Who is as equally emotionally strung
I am alone

The cause of my death will be
The fact that when I get sick
Or when I am hospitalized
Like I was earlier this month
No one seems to think it's a big deal
My mother doesn't pay much mind
Not even the one I'm in love with
Said one word to me
I was alone

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I don't see hope for the future
I see ignorance all around me
I see laziness and poverty
I don't see any opportunities
For me to get out of this place
I am wandering aimlessly
And alone

The cause of my death will be
The fact that I hate myself
For allowing my heart and my soul
To break as they both have
I am hypersensitive
I feel abandoned
I am weak and fragile
Even in a crowd of people
I always feel alone

No, I will not die from something physical
I will die from a broken heart