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My soul is split in two
between what I desire
and what I should do.
There's two demons on my shoulders
yelling in my ears,
playing tricks on my mind,
covering over my eyes,
and so I follow my heart.
It is the only thing I have,
not tainted.
And it may not always be right,
but I am never truly wrong.
I'm so tired
of fighting these demons.
I'm so tired
from fighting these demons.
O',
I'm so tired.
O', me.
Rest now,
O', my.
Heavy heart.
You just know,
you just feel it.
There is a click,
everything falls into place.
Everything makes sense.
Your future changes so abruptly.
You can't prepare for it.
You can't predict it.
You can't prevent it.
But suddenly,
everything has changed.
And you will never be the same.
A piece of you is gone,
you've given it to them.
To hold, to protect,
to remember.
But you are refilled with a piece of them.
To cherish, to love,
to remember.
Some day that part of you may break,
it may reject itself.
It may rip away from your body.
It will be painful, brutal,
ever so sudden.
But a little piece lingers on,
unable to escape,
trapped beneath your rib cage.
You may even forget it's there,
with time.
But one day,
you will feel a little nudge
and remember,
one who gave you a piece of their heart, once.
Time does not heal.
It's an anesthetic.
You will never forget.
Love never forgets.
You handed me a paint brush
Told me to paint you a picture
an hour later you came back
you asked "where's the color, the magic
the creativity." I said "art is whats in your
heart and mind. I've been searching
and searching but that picture you want
of roses, sky's, beauty and majesty,
its become really complicated to find.

You then gave me pen and notebook.
Told me write you a story. I told you a tale
of a knife, and a death. You then asked,
"why is this tale so ******, scary and
gory." I erased it all and tried again. I
wrote a love story. Quite the opposite
of Romeo and Juliet.I wrote the first
chapter, and everything there after
led to a happily ever after.

Then you gave me a guitar, and told
me to play you a song. I played a song
about a lonely heart and a girl who was
falling apart. You told me, "NO NO your
going about this all wrong!!." So sure
enough I  started playing the ultimate
love song. Surely I'll just play along.

But truth be told, the outlet was
unplugged, the ink ran dry and I spilled
the paint on the floor. Everything I
painted, wrote and sang for you, was
only from a girl that I once upon a time
knew. But she has seemed to cut the
ties that bind her together. Sprinkled
the ashes, till they blew away like a
feather. She watched in silence, from
a distance. The wind kept blowing,
the days passing, and thought well
maybe of these passing days, everything
is better off this way.
I don't wanna write about
roses red violets blue
I want to write about
something unique
something new, just
like everyone else, so
they say. Everyone
wants to be different.
There's over 7 billion
people in this world.
Were all merely clones.
Even with this over-
populated planet we
live in, it's just so
funny to me how one
person can feel so alone.
Standing in a crowd,
listening to them all
laugh and carry on
watch as life goes on.
I don't want to be part of
a show, I don't want
fame, but I'll completely
take the blame. I would
like to live my life like
the sun. Gleaming by
day and resting by night,
but always there, safe
and sound to come back
the next day and light
up the world again.
Maybe that's all that
we need in life, some
music, love, and sunshine,
and everyone will be
just fine. Maybe this
persistent loneliness
I try to chase away,
asking why, then maybe
I won't be so shy and
take a bow and blow
all this a kiss goodbye.
I am kissing you
Right now
As you read

Our lips touch gently
Then again
Repeatedly

You smile

I feel your touch
Right now
As I write


Your hands slide under my dress, gently
Then again
Repeatedly

This dream is real
a proper heretic
she tried to save the unworthy
believed they had potential
and she even healed her opponents

she took disciples
who would gladly spread her words
before her allies
burned her at the stakes
Men have eyes that dim with time
like bronze statues who've lost their shine...
But heroes and legends
from burrows and heavens
will live on eternal in vision and rhyme.







-Joshua
They were celebrating
in lofty halls
and carpeted offices
with wine flowing
thick and red
when the bombs fell
to finally **** him
rid the world of his tyranny
of ideas
of meaning

they were celebrating
and toasting
to freedom
and democracy
with structures disintegrating
in every corner
when it finally hit them
that he wasn't coming back
to save them
this time
I want to tan
I want to sit in the hot mid day sun
and install a sunbed
to add that extra crisp
to my birth marks
when I fry

I want to pop pills
I want to do hallucinative drugs
like mushrooms or acid
and gamble with my mental health
because I can
it is mine to waste

I want to smoke
I want to inhale the perfume
of cancer
and begin self-destruction
my own revolution
in small steps
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