I

meteor showers are not
very cleansing nor are
shooting stars much of
a threat

they pass over arms
raised and waving with
a hundred cries of
‘not yet’

by the time they
have passed the universe
might expand enough to
engulf Regret

and our arms will touch
our sides as we realise
the chances we may
have missed

and by then stars may
not exist and Never may
have already paid
its debt

and we’re left wondering
why we were left behind
and not chosen as hunks of
rock flew by

and though Ever After
has been stitched on
our minds dimensional
thread by thread

(and has with it what the
past cannot forget without
a vast sense of swoon)

Ever After will never
become Forever if it
speaks too late
or arrives too soon

II

if you were to ask Where when it would be
he would most definitely reply with ‘not now’

and if you were to ask Why exactly how
he would probably reply: ‘without me’

but if you were to question What with how it was
he would redirect you straight back to Why

so the last one to ask is the ever glum Was
(for he knows many things, most of all regret)

and Was also knows all you’ve done
and all you’ve done wrong he won’t let you forget

III

I’m about to begin work
on Forever but I don’t
know how long it will take

by the time I’m done
with Now who knows When
it will be

maybe by then North will
be South but true North
will be down somewhere
else

and clocks won’t have
numbers they’ll just
have words like ‘never’
and ‘too late’

it might take
a very long time

so it would be nice
to have someone here
just for having someone
here’s sake

it wouldn’t make Time
any less steady nor
pass it any quicker
or slower

but when the little hand
gets to ‘too late’ or
where ‘too late’ should
have been

I hope to have felt
and seen
everything

Stars in the sky.
That we put there for once.
Ones that don’t last long like our lives.
Bright sparks, explosions, excitement.
If only for a moment.
Colors that promise happiness that fades like everything else
Only leaving pale imitations of things that once were.

I'm barely hanging on
Walking the same road every day
But I know when I'll see you
Where I have to go to make you smile

Amidst the faceless masses
that walk past every hour
You shine out like a searchlight
Pointing me to the reason

I'm still here

The night is darkening round me,
The wild winds coldly blow;
But a tyrant spell has bound me
And I cannot, cannot go.

The giant trees are bending
Their bare boughs weighed with snow,
And the storm is fast descending
And yet I cannot go.

Clouds beyond clouds above me,
Wastes beyond wastes below;
But nothing drear can move me;
I will not, cannot go.

because you always had the right answers.

that's why i came rushing to you,
in a flailing of arms and hands,
rushed words, but still you understood,
like we had our own kind of secret language
hidden from the world

you would attempt to play god,
wrap me up in prayers and calm meditations,
speaking from something other-worldly
but still, it always worked
i couldn't blame you for that
i still can't look you in the eyes and
tell you how badly you broke my heart
i was young, and you were older but you
should have known better, or maybe

this is the way things need to be
you can't let me go because i know i
was the only flesh that you have felt
underneath your palms, and i know all
too well that you took that kiss to mean
something far more important,
you tried to save me,
because i had already saved you

but i will never have all of the answers
like you, christopher.