Wanting to center myself,
a journey into the woods
would likely suffice.

I started out early,
about a quarter of 10.
Started off to find my center.

By reaching back to nature
to find a grounded centered me.
My Zen soul had to be found.

Sun breaking through canopied trees.

Oh wait, I have to stop!
This is the place!

Beyond this point,
my computer won't work,
I think I just lost WiFi.

I can hate blue eyes
That catch my green ones on the street.
I can hate love songs
That make me turn off the radio.
I can hate seeing fire fighter symbols
That remind me of you.
I can hate that I still wear the bracelet
The one that you made me.
I can hate your shirts
That fill my closet with your scent.
I can hate crying
The kind that knocks me over.
I can hate that bench
Because we used to kiss on it.
I can hate cuddling
Because no one else's arms feel right.
I can hate blankets
That give me a false sense of security.
I can hate sleeping
When it only brings more bad dreams.
(What's the point in sleeping
When my waking hours are nightmares too?)
I can hate knives
And the fact that there are so **** many in this too small house.
I can hate breathing
Because I know it's something we both do.
I can hate myself
For not being enough for you.
The only thing I can't seem to hate
Is you.
I wish I could hate you.
I feel like it would hurt so much less
Than loving someone
Who is no longer here.

I pull my seatbelt a little tighter -
It feels good to be held.