What you expect:
y
r
e
v
o
c
e
r
Obvious steps, one at a time until you're at the top.
Reality:
y
r c
e o
r v
You don't really know if this is even what you want. You crawl up a few, only to come crashing back down in an endless circle of hate.
Addiction is not an easy thing to just "get over". And in reality, there is no such thin as full recovery- you may be IN recovery, but you still battle the same demons every single day, second and with every tempting thought.