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Silver Lining Dec 2013
I feel so trapped in this house
Confined
The walls closeing in

Funny how this use to be my
Safe haven
Now it's just the same hell

Shoved into your dream family
I am just
The unwanted nightmare

Isn't it obvious to you?
Subsiding
Into the dark background

As I fade, growing weaker still
They become
Stronger willed.
Silver Lining Dec 2013
So much hate surrounds us.
At school.
At work.
In the home.
Sometimes it even comes from strangers.

But sometimes it comes from inside.
It swallows your being.
Growing like a mold in your mind.
It takes over.
Consumes you.
Until one day
One day
You've had enough-
Silver Lining Dec 2013
Get good grades
Take collage level classes
Get a job
Have a social life
Go on dates
Be pretty
Be skinny
Be normal
Be stable
Be safe

I need an escape.
To most teens that's drinking or smoking..
But no- I can't do that.
I  have to be perfect, don't you see?
In the church
In school
In life
But I'm only 16

There's a dark secret I keep
It use to be my escape
But it's affects are running out
I need something new to take me away
And that something I'm afraid, is you.
Silver Lining Dec 2013
I once read that one cannot gain cold
But that there can only be an absence of heat

This make sense to me since I'm always cold
But those around me can feel heat radiating from me

Maybe this is how emotions work as well,
There is no sadness- just absence of happiness

This proves that you can be so cold on the inside
Yet somehow be so warm and bright on the outside.

You can think of light this way.
There is no darkness- just absence of light.

It can also be said that
There is no hatred- just an absence of love.
Silver Lining Dec 2013
Use the map
That's printed on my body
If you want to find me
If you want to know ME
If you want to know my feelings
Follow the map

Follow the signs
And the trails etched on my being
The marks or construction,
And the marks of destruction.
Follow the map that snakes up my legs
And across my hips
Follow the map to find my soul.
Silver Lining Dec 2013
burn my lips
cool my throat
warm my insides
sooth my soul
Silver Lining Dec 2013
It's all about perspective really. You can seemingly change the outcome of a situation by how you think of it. In this case.. It's as clear as past-
And present.

Past-
A young brother passing away
A childhood void of a father who was too drunk
Raised by a sister because mother was too busy
Losing three people who had become family through divorce
Now having a father that's too busy with his new family

Present-
A brother no longer in pain from his 17 years of fighting illness
A Dad desperately trying to make up from lost time
A Mom and sister that have so much love and care they take care of others
Have three toxic people removed form my life- bad influences taken away
Having a wonderful new Step Mom and Three new siblings and a very in love and happy Dad.

It's all
      how
you          
                  look
      at
it.
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