I have this tendency
To, when asked
How I am,
Say something along
The lines of
I'm fine.
Daniel
Or Meghan
Or Anna
Or Hayden Grace
Or Will
Or my mother
Or my father
Or anyone
Did something.
Said something.
Felt something...
I never answer the question.

I've made myself
Not matter
Inside my own skin.

There are these
Old poems
Dedicated to
This one boy
Who
For about a week
Made my heart
Stop with
Nervousness

Not the kind that
Makes you want to
Dive in head first.
No.
It was more of a
Shaking feeling
That I didn't
Understand to be love.
But I guess it was
At least back then
Before the
Silence
Followed me there too.

He had a charming way
About him
That made all
Of the girls fall in
Something like
Love.

It was nice to
Know a man like him.

I remember his eyes
When he told me
He loved me
And there was nothing
I could do to
Change that.
And his embrace.
The memory is empty
To me now.
But I know
What his arms
Felt like around me
That one time it
Felt
Right.

Sick in my head,
Sick in my heart,
He was something out of a movie,
An angel coming to take me home.
I thought "this could be the one".
He was perfect and timeless,
Like an old Hollywood film.
******* me in and holding me,
Kissing my neck in his father's car.
So much passion between us
Don't let it fade,
Don't let it fade.
When boys go down south,
They don't come back the same.
His lips didn't kiss as sweetly,
His mouth didn't speak all the words I craved to hear.
He had all the cheap tricks in the palm of his hand,
And I was a thousand miles away.
Don't let it fade.
Don't let it fade.
He can **** me in the parking lot,
But can't kiss me goodnight,
"I'm too drunk, I'm sorry."
And I feel like this could be my fault.
Even when he's with me, he's not even with me.
I just look at him like a piece of art now,
He's so beautifully crafted but I don't understand him.
I'm watching him leave more and more everyday,
I keep telling myself:
Don't let it fade
Don't let it fade
But it's already dying.

everyone says
that it's the lack
of sleep
that brings bruises
around our eyes

but really
we get the dark rings
from our thoughts
punching us
in the face