Her smile was the kindest;
Her eyes shone with joy.
She was so in control.
You'd feel like a fool
When you realized the truth:
Her fears and tears were unspoken.
Yet hid it so well; you'd never know
She was scarred and broken.
Her emotions were like a window;
Except the curtains were pulled closed.

Sometimes I wish not to feel anymore.
The hurt and pain of a leaving friend?
Make me blind to it all.
Weak from emotions,
exposed like the ocean,
I wish for it to be no more.
I wish for my eyes to be dry,
for my heart to be healed,
for a mind to be rewind.
Sometimes I wish not to feel anymore.
The memories and laughter?
Make me blind to it all.
Let me forget it
so that I
don't forget
who
I am.

You are my drug;
I am addicted to you.
You make me believe that
whatever was hurting me,
You could make disappear.
The compassion in your touch,
the sparkle in your eye,
the warmth of your skin,
your breath on my neck
that shakes me within.
I think of you in the morning
before the sun rises,
when in the still of the darkness
my heart feels your presence.
I think of you at noon when the sun is at its highest,
when the heat warms my skin
and causes my eyes to close
with sheer pleasure.
I think of you when the sun has set
and the stillness of the moon
is displaying one of its
many wondrous phases.
The thoughts of your smile,
your laugh, and your eyes
create a feeling that is impossible
to express with just words.

I am like a painting understood by none.
Making people question their own sanity
With contrasting splatters of passion and depression,
And colors thriving on hidden emotions,
Showing the darkest hues that I can no longer hide.
Bright as the dawning of a new day
But meanings as dark as the howling night
And deep as an unforgiving ocean.

As I walk the trail of life
in the fear of the wind and rain,
grant me that I may always walk like a man.
Walking like a man in the face of fear;
Sometimes it's the best we can do.

Life is a game of concentration.
You learn what not to repeat
and how hurt you can get by a single hesitation.
The struggle is the level to complete.

It isn't all fun, like a vacation,
not as sweet as the winning treat.
We're not acting like a true nation
because it's all based on deceit
and unholy temptation.

This life is bittersweet;
people under sedation and influenced by potations
who were beat or even helped mistreat
God's beautiful creation
while we just sit in the backseat.
This is the game of concentration,
No repeats or hesitations.
What category will you fall under?

what is it like to feel
hopeless
alone
what is it like
to crawl back up this glass broken
needle stabbing rocky road
when all you want to do is give up and give in
what is it like to
wake up every morning
knowing nothing is going to be the same
that you cannot control these feelings or emotions
you are deserted on an island
but you choose to stay
to drown in your own misery
you refuse the help sent to you
because you were okay
and you still hang on to that
last piece of hope
that maybe just maybe
one day you will be okay again

A heart that never beat.
Lips that never opened.
Eyes that never saw.
A nose that never smelled.
Legs that never took a step.
Arms that never hugged.
Fingers that never touched.
Love that was never found.
Hate that never surfaced.
Emotions that couldn't be.
A mind that never thought.
A sun without its shine.
A life that never lived.
Where did it all go?

I fought through the battle, but this war has only just begun.
I don't know where to start...
It was my star;
Brightened up the night, but so far gone.
I get angry and upset when I know I can't reach it.
What I should do, is beyond my perspective.
I'm sorry to leave you this way, but my time has come...
Tell the stars I won't be far; I'm not alone. I'm going home.
Sincerely,
The Forgotten One.

The key is to keep searching until it feels right;
Something inside you clicks;
it’s like you’re at the eye of the storm, the eerie peace.
Because you’re either just entering one,
in the middle of one, or finally coming out of one.
When you’re in the middle of the storm,
you’re going to be looking for a savior.
But after you get into the flow,
it’s like someone finally pulled the veil away
And you see clearly and find the love you’ve been waiting for.
It’s a never ending cycle because He won’t leave you.
Hanging onto their hope and faith is what brings people together.
Whether you see it or not,
this is what our society is based on and it challenges our beliefs.

He was the demon of darkness, the evil one.
His doomed deeds were not at all done.
The torture that they endured from his hand alone
Was enough for them never to come home.

There’s a part of your mind that’s shattered.
You feel isolated and lost.
You don’t know who you are,
so you try to be what they say you should be,
and that leaves you incapable of coping,
hating yourself, hating those who want you
to be someone you aren’t—
even though you yourself don’t know who you are.
You’ve lost your true identity and are desperately looking for a new one even though it seems impossible.

You keep to yourself because you’re broken.
Your mind is fractured.
Even at your best, you suspect that something is wrong, because it is.
The only time you feel good is when you’re able to pretend that it is, but deep down you hate everything about yourself.
The way you look, the way you feel,
the way you think, even the way you sleep,
because that time that should be peaceful is full of nightmares.

God doesn't go anywhere.
We do.

Transparent to most.
Yearning for affection.
Publicly humiliated.
Isolated for good.
Corrupted innocence.
Abandoned child.
Loveless creature.

Ghostly thin.
Insecure.
Ready to die.
Luckily alive.

I’m not sad. I’m actually okay.
But when it comes to writing
every emotion rises to the surface,
even if I wasn’t aware of hoarding it.
I put those things down on paper
because I’m not brave enough to feel them.
If there was a way to reverse it
I wouldn’t be aware of how.
I’m expected to be strong,
to be put together, but I’m not.

I've been hurt,
and I’ve been heartbroken,
I’ve been sad,
and I’ve been depressed,
I've cried,
but I don't wanna let it ruin my life.

Sometimes we need to go through the pain
and mistakes to be able to appreciate
and understand what we really value
and want in our lives.

you hit me but apologize
you say it'll never happen again
but yet here we are
this time it's worse
i feel like i cant breathe
that if i move too suddenly
then its my end
but you said you loved me
you said it'll never happen again
you say you forgive me?
you buy me flowers and chocolates
like those will cover me up
it was okay for a while
just a little screaming and shouting
nothing i couldn't handle
but that didn't last long
i don't know if i'll make it this time

afterall,
love and abuse often feel like the same thing

I don’t know what you want me to say.
I give you the same warning everyday.
I’m unstable. Emotional. Broken.
I gave you my heart as a token
of my love because it’s all I can afford.
Yet you shattered it, looking bored.
It wasn’t enough just to destroy,
you had to play with it
as if it was only a toy.
I feel like a complete idiot
to believe your convincing lies.
You didn’t care when I began to cry.
What a monster I fell for.
I thought you were like a door,
opening to a new world of adventure
yet you slammed it shut in departure.
What a fool I was to believe in silly little lies.
People don’t keep promises;
they break them before your eyes.

She wished for death again and again.
She wanted it more than you could imagine.
Until one day Death himself showed up on her doorstep.
"Hello there. I don't think we've met," he states.
The longer they conversate, she starts to deny her fate.
"I'm not ready. I don't want to die," she'll cry.
"It's too late for that, my dear."
The tears will pool from her eyes.
"Well, surprise, surprise, another whose told a lie."
He knew she told the fib, but her soul was what she had bid.
It was the secret he hid.
Promises of death were too sweet for the girl to leave.
Her soul was the key for him to set her free.

It's no surprise that my happy place is sitting by the fountain
in the middle of the night, with no one around.
The feeling of drowning in everything going on around me
is somehow soothed by the flowing water at the fountain.
I don't have to worry about not being good enough for the fountain
as i throw in copper pennies and make wishes to be better,
to be able to get a gasp of air in once in a while
before i truly drown...
but it is just a fountain
what can it really do
for me?

Red is the color of the last rays of the sun
touching you and filling you with warmth;
the fluttery feeling in your tummy
when you fall in love.
Red is fire and lust
Red is passion and trust.
Red is the color you feel when anger strikes your bones,
and shudders through your being.
It reminds us that we are all simply phoenixes destined to burn – either burn your flaws or burn your flesh –
but it will never not leave soot on your skin.

Cold air blows through the trees
where I was hung,
despair between my eyes,
dark circular holes.
The rustling of the leaves
and people who just leave,
their cloaks and croaks of agony
as they watch me swing.
This type of hurt is like a
angry bee, it stings.
A feast began as my body rocked,
my flesh torn apart by those
sworn to do no such thing.
The warmth radiating off their bodies
as they blocked my hollow face,
watching as they swallow
every piece I had left.
I am no longer a person.
I gave my all and here
is where I ended,
just for people who
would never give
a second thought
about me.