Is your heart singing to me,
Or am I making that up in a daydream?

I have dreamed of that moment for so many nights,
Though I know I will likely never get it

Do I even dare mention it?
They say you shouldn’t name a wish

And I am not one to tempt fate

Not in this manner, at least

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You wrapped your arms around my waist
And I could have stayed there forever

I think I swallowed my tongue
Because I could only hum at whatever you were saying

And it's a good thing you were holding on so tight
Because my knees almost buckled

The only thing I would have changed
Would be your lips on my neck instead of wherever they were,
Which was too far away for my tastes

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God, I'm just
So
Done
Begging for scraps from you,
Chasing after you,
Always being your second choice

I deserve more and better.
And you don't even realize what you do.
Which makes it worse.

God, I think
I'm
In love with
You.

But I can't do this.

We're leaving,
And you'll never even know.

Goodbye, I guess.
I hope we meet again.

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Everything reminds me of you,
From a stand of aspen trees- the ski trail where I first thought how beautiful you were,
From the light on the leaves- honey colored, like your hair in the evening sun,
From the house we passe by- it looked like yours, Midwest-y and rustic,
From the music- folky and country, like your favorite band (now in my top three),
From the blue sky- the shade of your eyes in candlelight,
From the pop music on the radio- like our prom's music, where you had no fun with me,
From everything, ******* - the air the dogs the water the STILLness of my heart up here, somethign I thought only you could ever give.
Oh what I'd GIVE to knwo you again.

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I breathe out heavy air,
Chest heaving every time.

Feeling my ribs turning to wood is
Interesting

Water keeps breaching,
And it's just a lot.

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The duck walks from the water

Springing in the breeze, I
See Daffodils
I can hear conversation across the bay,
Lilting
The flutter of the chickadee's wings,
Blackbirds chasing each other in the sky
Clouds drift on high,
The sun warms my back,
And,
Life
Is beautiful.
     Simply
               Marvelous

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Cold, clawed hands
       Gasping,
Reaching,

Tearing me

Apart




I'm drowning

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Everything's simpler in the early morning sun
...Less worries, no troubles,
Nothing but you and the rising sun,
Casting its sleepy glow over the trees and water

The flowers are dancing to the beat of the wind
And the coolness of the night,
It's leaving quietly,
With grace and simple love
To welcome in the coming heat like a familiar lover

I am struck by the symbiosis of nature
Everything works together,
Familiar with all that will come
Doing a dance invented millenia ago

And here am I,
In the thick of it all,
Blundering my way through life
All the while wishing I had half the grace of the swaying leaves

I wish I could dance,
But sadly I possess the grace of a baby duck,
Still Learning To Walk

Maybe the roses and ferns can teach me their dance
It seems quite nice.

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The sun on the ice blinds me
The light is too much to bear

And the wind,
How it chills my bones!

It races through the trees,
Crashing, hollering,
Whipping them about

It is supposedly spring,
And yet...

It all sounds quite dead.

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Rough bark
Feels strong
Long high branches
They tell a story
I wonder what it is
Is it happy or sad? Would
It make me joyful or mad?
Is it a story for the ages,
And if so,
How many
Pages
Would it fill?

So many trees
So many pages

I should like to read them
All

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There is sadness in me
It's in my bones, no
It does not cling to them
It's who I am

Always at the root.
Sadness.

Why is it like this?

I just want to be achingly happy, every cell of mine

Screaming, "I'VE DONE THE WORK, NOW LET ME PLAY"

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There is nothing but blue
As far as I can see.

Blue skies,
Blue ice,
Blue birds.

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Soon even
The memories will be
Gone

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One day,
I wish to
Exist as
Simply and peacefully as
The trees.

Tall, proud, noble, beautiful.
Sure of who I am,
And sure of my life.

Sure of who I am,
And sure of who I'll be.

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I think perhaps you are a daffodil,
A Hardy creature
Blooming before the rest of us even poke up our heads
Beautiful,
Radiant.
Like a little sun.

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Dust motes float through the air,
Brilliantly illuminated by the setting sun

The light makes the leaves glow,
Turning them a golden green color

The wind pushes my canoe,
Bringing me where it pleases

Towards foreign shores we drift,
Happily and quietly,
With the peaceful sun and gentle air.

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Tigers screaming from the pavements,
Nothing ever stays in line

Why do I have them to begin with?
They make me sick

Just bars in a cage I throw myself at I guess,
Too self-aware for its own good.

Can I let myself breathe?

Please?

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The rocks on the shoreline.

Do they keep the land from the lake,
Or the lake from the land?

A precarious existence,
       Perhaps.

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The stinging wet cold
Melds with the dry heat
But I am not in the middle;
I am both at once

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The spider spins its web,
Oblivious to the
Entire Universe around it

Such small focus!
How admirable.

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The sun warms my face,
Almost as hot as I imagine your touches to be.

You and the sun seem
To be in a direct competition.

I worship you both,
And you're both so
Impossibly Bright.

Sophia the Sun.

It sounds perfect.

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The clouds drift across the sky
Sweeping the birds' songs over the land
I wonder
What else do they bring with them?

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Moss-on-rocks
Lichen on trees
Humans on earth

We are all rooted to something,
For better or for worse

(In our case, definitely worse)
Sadly.

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It settles on my shoulders,
A heavy cloak.

A low sigh, then
A quiet acceptance of this burden again.

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What do you do
When you're surrounded by Blue?
Blue skies,
Blue water,
Blue flowers...

The sun beats down,
Shimmering White on the water

When we are but Blue,
One can only hope for some
White light
To turn the melancholy
Into pure Gold

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I think

I'll be thinking of you for a very long time,
My dear

You have this
Way
Of sticking in my brain,
Like a burr
(A very pleasant one)

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You might have it beat,
Though.

The sun can't hope
To
Compare to your beauty,
And radiance.

Pure and simple.
You are nothing but goodness.

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As I look above the trees,
There lies the sun.

And if I turn 180 degrees,
The moon opposes me.

The sun and the moon,
Separated only by a lake.

Such small distance,
Yet it contains such depth!

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The worst thing in the world
Is when you want to take away someone's pain,
And indeed,
You'd give anything to be able to
But you can't.
So there you sit,
Heart bleeding along with theirs,
Trembling hands and achy head
Wishing for - hoping, wanting,
More than anything,
To help them.
But
You
Can't

I'm sorry I can't help
I would if I could

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The birds are so active!
Screeching,
Hollering,
They turn the forest into a busy marketplace,
Each hawking their wares,
Buying or selling

And when the sun goes down,
Homeward bound, they are!
Packing out,
To wait for the next day
In the busy bird marketplace

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The daffodils are sprouting,
So much color in the ground!
The birds are singing sweetly,
And as I look around,
I see color everywhere,
And I hear it too - the sound
Of birds
And bees
And trees,
Far, far off the ground

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When I write
It's almost as if
I'm planting a garden
With mystery seeds
I have
No
Idea what I'll end up with

I start with a good first sentence
A seed, if you will
And I water it, nurture it,
Letting the words take me where they like

It doesn't always work
Sometimes I fizzle out and am left with a dead plant, brown and ugly
But
Other times,
I'm witness to a towering flower,
Bursting with color and life,
Details abounding

I am a simple garden writer,
Planting the words
With my ***** of a pen

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I feel you next to me,
Closer than close

There is nothing to be said
Just touch

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I don't know where I'm drifting
But I honestly don't mind
As long as I
Find
What I'm looking for:
The strength
To be
Kind

(It's hard when you're big and tall and strong and hurt)

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I just
Want to be
Yours
Only yours

I don't think my soul has ever
Craved something so
Much, because I just
Can't get my mind off
You and honestly, I
Love it, it's great but I
Just wish it was
Real and not all in my drug-addled
Mind.

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Just once
I wish I could fall in love with
Myself

Too much time I'd spend mooning over
Myself
Wistful sighs,
Heavy staring,
Heavier heart

I just want to know how I'd look
If I fell for
Myself

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When you-
When you just remember how hopelessly in love you were with her
You shall always wonder
what You Did Wrong
Could you have done something?
Why Did She Leave Me
God, God I'm so sorry
Please give her back
I have given her more of me than I know
And I just shall
Always wonder
How did I deserve to be
To be treated so **** unfairly
BY YOU,
My creator and mother and father

Please just take me to that which I deserve,
Having been through the trials and tribulations that I have,
And That is her.

Please, dear creator.

Please.

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Nothing fills the air,
Save the workings of a solitary woodpecker,
Not concerned with much,
Mind you,
But the tree and itself.

I should think all should strive for that:
Simple thoughts,
Simple doings,
Simple happiness,

And simple life.

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Little red fingers
Atop little red hands
Adorning little red arms
Poking through the leaves
What are they reaching for?

Whatever it is, I wish them luck

We all reach for something, but how many of us
Actually get it?

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Flowering buds
New life
Fresh scents
High heights
Good taste
Better smell
Happy here
Not in hell

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The sunlight dances off the water,
Playfully carousing on the overhanging branches

How lucky we are,
To have something bring us light, life, and love
Every day.

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Rose tips peeking forward into the light,
Pressing firmly on

"We know not what lies ahead, but to be afraid of the sun is to be afraid of life"

To blindly reach on faith
Takes a great amount of courage.

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I want all the cliches with you
I want the kiss underneath the mistletoe,
I want the kiss on New Year's,
I want to give you roses and chocolate on Valentine's Day,
I want to go egg hunting with you,
I want a picnic, ants and all,
I want to sit and watch the stars,
And I want to kiss your nose when it's cold

But even though I won't get it,
I can still dream can't I?
Dreams are all I have left

They're all I have left.

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You made a Jew joke
And I remembered KS,
The book about ******'s regime's use of the Holocaust to **** the Jewish people
And I thought of the millions of lives of
Innocent kind loving lovely people,
All wasted.
Gone.
Terribly, traumatically ripped away
From Terra Major.

And just didn't think that it
Was funny anymore.

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Pine tree tops
Adorned with little cones -crowns-
The jewel of the heavens,
Brown and prickly

Beauty comes in many forms
It's a shame we don't always see it.

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The sweet and sour green taste in my mouth
Reminds me of the leaves in the trees,
In the sun.

Light and snappy, all at once.

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Soft green lances of grass
Sweet and supple, I imagine.

They tower up into the sky,
Reaching, reaching, reaching,
A contrast to the cold hard dark rocks in the lake.

One stretches up,
The other hunkers low.
But it is not like they have a Choice in the matter.
That is how, why, and wherefore they were created.
We all have a different purpose in life.

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Growing up means
Watching my heroes turn human in front of me
But,
Maybe that's not such a bad thing
We're all human, truly
We're not perfect,
we never will be
So why would we,
Why should we,
Strive to be something unattainable?

I'm a human
I'm not perfect
But I don't have to be a superhuman
To be a good person

And maybe it's not a lot
But I will try my ******* best
To be...
Good.
Quite simply,
That's all I expect from myself

Be human.
Be good.
Be patient, kind, loving, understanding, and
Everything under the sun

But don't forget to be good

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Lately, it seems,
Unfinished poems are my thing
I wonder if this has anything to do with you
And how you left me,
Gaping,
Searching for an answer,
But none to be found.
What happened to my feelings?
More importantly, what happened to yours?
they seem to be gone with the wind
Fickle and ephemeral,
Nobody knows what happened with them.

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Snowcat tracks,
Quietly lead into nothing

A mountain shadow,
Quickly here and gone

How much have those eyes seen?
What do you know? Peace?

"Ah!
How I wish to be independent, live alone, and not grieve for anyone."

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