Skeletal fingers
Reaching towards the sky
Wishing, hoping, wanting
For just a drop
Of water

They plead and beg
But nothing will come
Of it

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Consume my heart but don't offer your
own,
Magpie of mine.

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I find
That I hold myself back, you see
I could wish upon a star
And I could hold my breath tight
But you still wouldn't love me back

I feel my eyes becoming darker
Little rings,
On the outer edge,
Floating like a halo
One of the darkest kind

Can you see the fatigue?
My heart can only ache so much.

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As striking as you are,
So is your

Absence

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If what I felt for her was electric shocks in my nervous system,
Then what I feel for you is a gas,
Gently permeating through my body
Quieter (but no less powerful),
Softer,
But swelling more and more each day,
Filling my body till it leaks through my nose,
A small stream of yellow feeling.

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I can feel the heartbeat of the tree,
Gentle, soft,
Contrasting with mine
Harsh, unyielding.

Ah,
To be so
Green and simple!

Pleasantly strong,
A wonder to all,
And achingly, simply,
Happy

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I wish I could run to the ocean the way water does,
Tossed and turned,
Uncaring.
Just floating.

Life would be so easy

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I put on some water just now,
To make tea
And I thought
Of the day when you brought me hot chocolate
I can't believe I ever forgot that
You do the smallest nice things,
Or I guess you did
Because we're not friends anymore
But you did the smallest nice things
So small that one could easily miss them
And I,
I miss them
I miss you
So much

I'd like to bring you tea on Monday
But unfortunately we can't even look at each other

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You love pain
You don't love me

I hope that one day
With the passing of the clouds overhead
Your darkness passes you

And you can sit in the sun,
Well and truly

And not want to hide

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The pounding of my heartbeat in my ears
It throbs like the beat of a song
Slow, slow,
Then fast,
So fast I couldn't dance to it even if I tried,
So fast I think my hear will explode
If I'm not careful
And as we all know,
One has to be careful with one's heart
Considering it runs our entire being,
One would think they wouldn't be so..
Fragile
Fragile as a newborn baby's skull,
Fragile like the glass in a china cabinet

That's life, though
Fragile, but beautiful
Maybe that's what makes it so pretty
The notion that,
At any moment,
It could all come crashing Down,
Crumbling like bones in the wind

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Talking to and thinking about a ghost, even though you're still here

For now

I can track the distance between us like two worn tires,
But it's still not enough

You are yet beyond me

Come back to me, please?
The distance may be great, but
I'm not done riding yet
And you still have so far to go

But I will meet you where you need.

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Sometimes I think that
I have a sadness
That will never leave my bones
It will whittle down to almost nothing
But only almost,
Never truly gone.

I wish to shed this body and move on from this corporeal plane
May I have new flesh and blood?
Some less melancholy bones?
I think I've been through quite enough,
Thank you

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After the game,
As we walked into the locker room,
I saw the tears running down your face
And I wanted nothing more than to wipe them away
However, I knew that if I did
I'd cup your face and want to kiss you
So I did
Nothing
And continued walking as my heart ripped

I should be used to that by now

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We're like the planets, you and I
Our orbits bringing us closer, closer,
So close,
But we never touch
Instead we skate on by each other,
Lingering glances and low whispers flung about

I'd love to have you
Even if it meant us crashing into each other and being destroyed,
That moment of pure ecstasy, I think,
Would be worth it

But alas,
We're like the Sun and the Moon,
Fated never to touch

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Music going,
Sun in my hair,
Drink in one hand,
Pen in the other.

What more could a girl
Ask for?

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As the lonely hours go past,
I idly sit and think of you

Sweetest wine of the rarest kind,
A rapturous note in a melody

And me,
Only too happy to take it all in

Just one more glass.
Just one more song.

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As I sit on my bed and
Look out the windows, I
Am drawn to the clouds,
Thundering ominously.

And as I sit on my bed,
I
Wonder what you're thinking.

Do you
Think of me as much as I think
Of you?

Do I want to know?

Perhaps that's why they
Thunder.
It's a warning.

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As the butterfly floats along the breeze,
I wonder what it thinks...
"What wonderful weather (or not) we have today"?
"Look at that flower. Wow"?
Who knows for certain
I suppose,
If you really want to know,
You'll have to ask the butterfly itself

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The number of time I have ripped my soul apart over what could have been
Is higher than I can count
But is it really my fault
That the gods themselves
Have seen fit to manifest in you?

I would rather look upon your face
Than ever see the sun again

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I want to hike mountains with you
And kiss you on the top of cliffs


Let us be far away
From here,
My dear

And live gently in the sun

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This grey patina covering the windows, it
Obscures my view the slightest bit
And I can't help but wonder
What Small Things am I missing?
Now that my perspective is skewed
The
Tiniest bit,
What am I missing now that I would have
Seen before?

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The fading sunlight strikes the windows
The bus cocoons me safely,
Inside
As we rocket to our destination,
I am struck by the mystery
Of the beautiful odds
Of our luck to exist,
As we are, within this world
To be able to experience the snow, frost, and leaves
It is a wondrous mystery

And I do not know
What other way
I'd possibly like to have it

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I have
Decided
That
You will cut my hair this summer

I

I wish to have your lightness touch me,
And maybe I'll be lucky enough to
Capture some of it
Forever

Some of your brightness of the sun
In my
Dark
Brown
Hair.

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Everything in my world reminds me of you
From the way my food smells
To how the setting sun hits the branches
I guess you're tied to my heart,
For better or for worse
With my luck, though,
You won't even think of yourself as anything more than a butterfly,
Floating on a breeze through my mind

I'd catch you if I had a net

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Let's listen to CCR and drive through the town
Let's dig and plant and dig and plant
Let's watch the leaves and flowers sprout, growing more vibrant with each passing day
Let's do Small Things for each other, no expectations.
Let's just be us around each other,
And trust that we can find our way together

Can we watch the sun set and drink lemonade?
Can we go swimming and diving in the lake?
Can we take pictures of the frost on the windows, drawing hearts in it?
Can we make each other dinner?

If only you knew how I felt
If only you'll know how I'll feel
If only you felt the same

I want you so **** bad,
In the purest way possible.

I just wanna be yours.

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The air in me keeps changing
Floating
Me around
until I find myself
and land
back down on the ground.

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As the rising sun hits its zenith,
We rise, as one

Let the power fill your body,
Strong and natural

We will win with love

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The sweet smell of the grass and rain,
The chorus of birds, rain and music,
It all mixes into a joyous dish of life

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What was once a blazing conflagration in my heart
Then became a cozy hearth fire
And now it seems reduced to embers, begging for life
How do I rekindle these flames?
But more importantly, do I even want to?
You're not mine
You never will be
And though this is the sweetest torture
I don't know if I want to experience it anymore
And so the last of the embers will fade to dark
My heart burned and filled with ash
My tongue scorched,
My throat like sandpaper,
Third degree burns all over my insides

I want to say sorry
But who am I apologizing to?
My heart?
I don't think it wants my apologies anymore

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Standing high in the trees,
I am
Untouchable

One with the branches and bark
Smelling of sap and needles

If only I could just...

Melt into the wood
And
Be done with all this

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The cold wind bites

It lets me know

I do not belong up here

I am not a tree, tall
Though I am.

I think, perhaps, I am not hardy enough,
Not uncomplaining enough

I am only a visitor,

Tem-po-rar-y

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Beauty in pain,
Pain in beauty.

No.
I reject that.

Beauty in love,
In happiness and full hearts.

Pain is cold and dark and ugly.

Why do we glorify its dungeon?

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Maybe if I listen to enough music the
Sadness
Will go away

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As the old man Sun caressed my face,
I felt his wizened old hands as he traces lines down my jaw and chin,
The tuppity-tap-tap of him drumming a beat on my throat
And I felt
The warmth of his rays, of him
His love for me and all beings,
Filling us with his warmth and letting us know
You Are Not Alone,
Even if you have nobody else
You will still have me,
And my rays,
Reaching you from miles and miles away

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My heart rent in two,
Cloudy days, nothing but blue
In my head.

You left,
And you informed me much too late.

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Regretful tongues
Can’t take
Anything back

Regret now,
Guilt later,
And tomorrow?
Then comes the pain

Pinpricks inside my ribs
A slow squeezing of my chest cavity
My heart closes

No more for me, thank you!

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I can be romantic
I can give you flowers
I can buy you chocolates and clothes
I can set up a picnic under the stars
I can whisper sweet nothings in your ear while we lie together
I can be anything you want
I just want to be something to you

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A cloudy day, it seems
As though nothing in the world exists
Besides me, comfortable in my house
A sense of almost loneliness. but not
Quite

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"I'm not gonna change for anyone"

I'm not asking you to reassemble yourself to my heart's content,
A bunch of puzzle pieces to arrange and rearrange

I never wanted you to bend and twist into a desirable configuration for me,
Or to stuff yourself into any sort of box that I fancy.

I just wanted you to try.

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I keep feeling myself rise these levels so fast,
Just pushing myself to be better all the time,
The sheer willpower I have now,
To get **** done.

I love the pure selfishness and and selflessness,
Simultaneously,
Me improving just to be superior,
But also
Me improving to help other people.

I am a mismatch of a bunch of things.

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I'm taking your advice to see if it'll make me less sad

I just think it's really ironic that the reason I'm so sad is

You.

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When I was little,
When my dad would tuck me in,
He'd say,
"Good night, sweet dreams, see you in the morning"
And I'd say it back

Recently I've been thinking
And what I've realized is
The only sweet dreams I'll be having
Will be about
You

Every night before I go to bed
I hope you visit me in my sleep
I think you could turn my worst nightmares
Into my best dreams

One can only hope.

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I often ask myself why

Why must flowers die in the Winter?
Why am I so cruel?
Why can I not be who I am?

But most of all I want to know
Why
You do not love me back

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The wind has died
And my heart along with it

The leaves will fall soon
And my head along with them

The flowers will turn brown and brittle
And my spine along with them

Ice will cover the water
And my soul along with it

Because a broken heart
Kills you slowly

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I can only imagine your soft voice in my ear,
Teasing me in that dry stoicness you have.

Of course it'd be a lot easier to hear you if you weren't hundreds of miles and a long-distance phone call away.

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Tonight is a night
For cheap cigarettes and cheaper whiskey
For getting mad at your parents
Who never taught you to love yourself
For letting those thoughts run through your head that
You'd never even consider if you were sober
For sitting in the cold and letting yourself freeze because
You deserve it

Tonight is a night for angry faces and angrier thoughts
For wallowing in self-pity

Tonight
Is a night
To be weak

Because when morning comes
You'll pretend it never happened

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Yesterday
I said I'd start getting over you
That I couldn't do it anymore
I had
A *******
Plan

Then you smiled at me today
And *******, I blew it

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I don't know why I write
Perhaps it is because I cannot

Sing
Dance
Sculpt
Paint
Film

But I can spill out my soul onto these pages
Written in ink as rich as my blood
And I can spin these tales
From the depths of my heart I deliver these words to you
And I can do nothing but hope
That you will understand
Why I am the way I am

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God, I hate people.
People are so ******* horrible
They're so ******* cruel

But, **** it all,
People are a drug I can't quit

So noble,
Full of hope, love, inspiration...

People are paradoxes of the worst kind
And **** it all,
I can't quit them

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Rain hits the ground,
Bringing new life to the flowers.

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