I just looked at our truck
And then up at the sky
And *******,
I could not think of anything else
Besides you and me,
Laying in the bed of it,
Blankets and pillows surrounding us,
As we stare at the stars above.
A gentle summer breeze washes over us,
And I  swear,
I can hear my heartbeat thudding,
As we nestle closer,
To keep out the chill of the evening.

If only you knew how I felt.
If only it wasn't the dead of winter

me.gs

I have a feeling
Your and my destinies,
Intertwined,
In some part of the future

A...
Feeling?
Who
Knows

You and me, B.

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Don't use god as an excuse for laziness,
God isn't gonna hand you ****
Life is what
You
Make of it,
So that means that, sadly,
God won't give you everything you want

Work for that ****.
Humans are capable of some pretty amazing things.

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The reason I don't talk much about you
Is that you make my heart glow so much I'm afraid to open my mouth
And let it spill out,
Spelling out my true feelings
Maybe I should learn sign language
That way nobody will know
And we can all continue on our way,
You, oblivious,
And me, burning brighter with every passing day

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Just
Being in your arms
Would make me feel better than
And soup or medicine
Could

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Soft summer breezes
Floating in through the windows,
Cool my heated skin.

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I think what hurts the most is
You didn't say
You loved me back

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My room smells like springtime and I've never felt more alive

It smells like melting snow,
The first chirp of birds,
Heavy, brown earth peeking up at the sun,
Patchy grass that's finally breathing,
A shy Sun that wants to spread warmth,
And hope.

Hope that It Will Get Better
And we will Make It So

I feel I'm coming alive with the trees

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It's almost midnight and I know I should sleep
But with so many thoughts flying around which ones am I to keep?
Should I think on you, her, him, her, mom, dad, brother, friend?
The possibilities are endless, yet
I know I can't keep on like this
Or I'll be exhausted in the morning

I am not satisfied with these words
I know I can do better
Someone
Teach me please
I want to write about my feelings
But I don't know what to say
So here I drivel on
And bore myself more each day

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My love,
Were you ever really mine?

You shield away so many times I wasn’t
Sure
I cried so many times and you didn’t
Care

I force these words onto paper,
I know you don’t want them

And I angrily gather my things,
Once again
Disappointed.

Here I stand, with my heart in my hands,
And nothing
To show for it all

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Wishing I could reach out and touch you,
To see those freckles again

I sit here in the hollowness of my mind and body
My heart is a spastic amoeba, trying to contain itself and explode all at once

Can you see the light piercing my back?
Turned into a monster from these beautiful feelings

Do I let you know?
Do you want to know?

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First and last poems are a pain,
By that I mean I
Attach so much expectation to them that
I can hardly write the
**** things.

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I am cold.

And all I wish is to crawl into a bed with you.
It does not matter to me if the bed is warm
We can heat it with our love,
Blazing hot/

I am cold.

And all I wish for is you.

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The more you travel,
The bigger your worldview gets,
And your heart as well.

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Ah,
My melancholy heart.
Running away from me again,
As it has.

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There once was a girl
A girl who loved everyone but herself
Her smile outshone the sun itself
And her laughter drowned out the birds
But one day
The sun stood alone
And the birds had no competition
The girl had finally drowned in her hate
And flowers shot up from her grave
They muffled the birds and filtered the sun
And the girl was finally loved

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They say nothing good happens after 2 AM
But the dream leaving my lips
Tasted sweet as honey, it tasted of you
And though I have not kissed you yet
I am sure it would be sweeter than honey

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It is now past midnight
Yet another night where I should be asleep
And here I am, writing, thinking

It's been three minutes
Now four
I have written nothing of substance
I want to write, but what of?
About who I think I'm falling for?
About who I have a crush on?
About my past?
About my present?
Future?
Maybe I just need to write
And get all my nothing out

me.gs

What I want to say is-
...I mean-
Well what I wanted to tell you is...

I love you.

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Liquid mercury sits in my heart
I think
What other explanation could there be

For the constant weight in my chest,
Never gone

Or the slow poisoning of what I know to be true

I’ve begged for a reason,
An explanation
So many times

But my eyes are dim with misunderstanding
And I am no closer to the truth.

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It has been more than a year
More than a year since I fell for you

And it has been almost a year
Almost a year that I stopped falling

Months have passed since I last dreamt
Dreaming of your lips on mine

But a part of me still loves you
A part that will never go away

And you may not have been my first
And you won't be my only
But you will always be my love

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The trees dance softly
Swaying in the earnest wind
I can only watch

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There's something about a gym at midnight,
The proud stillness of everything,
As if even the wood in the floor knew the achievements won here.

The scrapes and scratches tell so many stories...
A jump, a dash, a full stop.

This gym holds valor.

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So many promises we made...
Never to be filled

Empty words,
Empty promises,
Made with full minds and mouths.

It's so unfair.
I didn't even get a
Chance.

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It's way past my bedtime
But I really don't care
I bet a hundred years from now
I'll still be here
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
For you to reply to me
I don't care though, honest
Because I think you're worth it
Even if I only get a snap of your couch,
Instead of your beautiful face

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I do not know what I feel for you
Sometimes I feel
As though my heart might burst
And my soul will shine through my eyes
I will fall to the ground
And your name will pass through my lips
Lips that still have not felt yours yet

I have spent so much time looking at you
Every inch of you I have memorized
Every inch I have yet to touch

If you asked me I would tell you
How many freckles you have on your lips
And how you smile when I make you laugh

But I would be silent-mouthed
If you asked me what I felt for you
I do not know

me.gs

I am red
My color is red
My pants are red
My shirt is too
My pen is red
My lifeblood too
Love is red
Hatred too
Birth is red
Death is too
So it would seem to me, then,
That red is the color of life

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Can you unmoor me from these feeling?
The deep dark anchor-anger
Of powerlessness
To my own self

Of never being able
To escape the darkness completely
And breathe solely in the light

Everyone loves me for my strength, but
Can you love me for my weaknesses?

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Could we walk down the beach?
I would
Take in the air,
Smiling so sweetly at you

And you would make me laugh,
Stopping every few steps to gather myself

Step closer and hold me, won't you?
The breeze cuts close
And your love is the only warmth I need

me.gs

Pine cones adorn the treetops
And-
An errant breeze plucks one off, tumbling
Down, down, down
Landing with a soft phish in the grass
Finding company once more among its kin down below

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I think love is like a fire
It can warm you,
Shine light in the dark,
But it can also
Consume you,
Hurt you,
Swallow you up
So you'd best be careful,
And guard your heart
Or else you'll get burned
And want to cut it out,
Nothing left but pain and ashes

me.gs

Biting breezes,
Running red squirrels,
And
A hammock,
Gently swaying in the air currents.

me.gs

I've been thinking
About my
Friends
Family
Hobbies
Interests
Music
Writing
But most of all I've been thinking of my past
This time last year I wanted to die
I envied those without a loving family for they could hurt themselves and no one would care
I imagined slitting my wrists and drifting away and finally being happy
But I withheld because I didn't want my last moments to be filled with pain in my wrists
Ironic, isn't it, that I wanted to avoid pain while doing something that would cause so much

You may call me vain, but
I am so proud of myself
For not once harming myself
For being too scared to **** myself
For learning how to love myself
So I could finally see myself
As a beautiful person
As a caring friend
As a loving daughter and sister

And I am here to tell you
That you can overcome it
Because you are beautiful and worth it

me.gs

Here my heart goes again,
Filling up with
Lead.

I carry so much,
I'm surprised I can still breathe.

me.gs

Aren't I a little too young
To be drowning myself in a liquor bottle?

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I am on my bed
I am not on yours

I am alone
I am not with you

I am on my side of my bed
I am not on my side of yours

I have all the sheets
I am not squabbling over them with you

It is pitch black when I go to bed
There is no light from you checking your phone

When I wake up I will see my pillow
I will not see your hair nor smell it

I am not with you

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I just stood out in the rain,
As if that can wash away my heartbreak,
As if that can fix the pain in my chest.

me.gs

Bitter, bleeding rocks fill my mouth.
I have so much that I want to say,
But nothing comes out.

The harsh truth,
Known by us both,
Will never be spoken.

How cowardly of us.

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I've always wanted to go to church
Not a hoity-toity one,
Where you have to wear clothes so starched you can't breathe
But one on the beach,
Where you can feel the rising sun
And the sand between your toes
And smell the salt air
And the pastor preaches love,
Spinning tales about birds and bees and trees,
And how our Creator love us, No Matter What

I just want a church of love, not hate
Where everyone is equal
And everyone is loved.

me.gs

I've been in bed for two hours now
And I still can't sleep and
No matter where my thoughts drift they
Always come back to you and
How we fit together so ****
Well and I just really
Think that I'd sleep much better with you here but
Sadly, that's not the case so I guess I'll just
Lay here and dream of your stomach and soft
Lines and hope to god that you're thinking of me
Too because I haven't seen you in more than a
Month and we've barely talked in weeks but
Somehow I can't get you out of my head and
Really,
I either want you or
Silence




But most of all
I just
Really I just want to sleep

me.gs

I'm in my bed
I wish I was in yours

I'm wearing my old sweatshirt
I wish I was wearing yours

I'm under my covers
I wish I was under yours

I'm eating my chips
I wish I was eating yours

So you see, my problem
Is the absence of you
And how you could make hell my home

me.gs

Better a death from lung cancer than a death from a broken heart

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Depression is

The Grinch under my bed that would grab me if I got too close to the edge of it

The shark under the water of the lake that would drag me under

The Boogeyman past the luminescence of my nightlight that would eat me if it went out

And the cure is
Love

Do not ever let someone tell you
That you shouldn't love yourself
Because you are lovely and you are worth it

me.gs

Black is the color of truth
It has no pretenses,
It is not flashy,
It's just simply there.

me.gs

The harsh edges of the wood dig into my shoulders;
Tired again

I have walked for so many miles,
And yet

The sun's glare has never changed,
Burning and unyielding

May I walk at night?
May I share this burden?
Or must I walk on,
Red-hot

From the outside out

me.gs

I have written five poems
For you, about you, to you
But not with you

And I know I won't get any gifts
But it sure would be nice
To have you on my birthday

And I know you don't know this
But I am in love with you
To have you return it would be the best

Gift?
Blessing?
Curse?

That would ever be

me.gs

The great dark of the night
Swallows up the forests and lakes,
Buildings and roads,
Swathes of black covering all.

These lights do not banish it well enough.

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I refuse to keep my feelings down anymore,
Pushing them under like a hated enemy I want to drown

I will let them free,
A beautiful mountain spring bubbling forth
My tears and anguish will be seen,
Even if, like a far-hidden forest,
It is acknowledged by no one.
That does not change the beating of my heart
Or the breath of my lungs

And I will not silence myself,
Torturing my heart with this burden
This burden that I should not have to carry
Like so many rocks upon my shoulders

They are heavy.
And I am tired.
And I will not bear this burden anymore.

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The lights softly hum in the dark air.
Stars shine overhead,
Casting lonely bits of light to earth.
The air is sweet and soft,
And I am thankful for the coolness it brings.

Who said you can't find peace in a city?

me.gs

Black dust in orbit,
Spilling darkness into the light

Where do we go from here?
I'm dying in my head,
Screaming.

What more can I do?

It's so tiring, you know.

I'm sorry.

I just want some rest.

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