I know I saw you today
And I know that I will see you after tomorrow
And I know that we texted today
I know we will text tomorrow

But a second without you by my side
Is a second that is

Wasted?
Useless?
Superfluous?

And that I cannot bear

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The sadness gets ****** into my marrow
I can’t see it anymore
Is this happiness?

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Pistons misfiring,
Neurons haywire,
The general tiredness sets in...

It's been a long night.

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I want to write you a letter
But what am I to say?
That I fall in love a little more, each and every day?
That your beauty, beyond comprehension,
Could push the sun out the way?

I do not have a clue how to tell you
That I don't even know what to tell you
That I fall for you more every day

And I may be going in circles
But I don't even know what to say
Except that I'm falling more
Each and every day

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Fleeting shadows
My mind grabs at them as they flit past,
But it comes up
Empty

I can't be gone of you, can I?
When will you give me peace?
What more must I do?
What have I not given to you,
Wholeheartedly?

You rip my heart and poison my dreams...
So seldom remembered,
And I must remember the ones with you?

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Skipping rocks across the water,
Trying to hit paper targets on the other side.

What a waste of time.

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I long for the comfort of your presence,
With your arm around my shoulder and your hand in mine

I would have you kiss me sweetly on the cheek,
Feeling the warmth spread from there

To look into your eyes again,
To see the well of pain and hope and fight,
To know that my kisses bring you comfort.

What I wouldn't do to have that again

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It doesn't hurt anymore,
Like a wound that has finally healed
And left nothing but an unpleasant scar,
Something that, when scratched, still slightly aches

It feels so good to not hurt day in and day out.

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You look like a Renaissance painting come alive,
Holy beauty and heavenly heart you are.

Were that I could capture your visage,
You'd be another Mona Lisa.

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It's early in the morning
(Or maybe late at night)
And still I'm awake and alert
(Not because I have a fright)
The clock is ticking and tocking
(I wish it would just turn back)
I'm sitting in my bed, alone
(It almost makes me laugh)
I wish I was sitting with you
(Oh, a girl has dreams)
But I know that dreams do not come true
(If they did I'd **** light beams)
And I do not wish to be alone
(Yet, here I sit)
But I know wishes will get me nowhere
(Oh, but if they did...)
So I sit here and think of you
(Naturally)

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It's one AM
And I can't stop thinking
About how much warmer my bed would be
If you were in it with me

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If you asked me where my humanity was hidden,
I would gape at you.

I would not answer,
For I do not know myself where it has holed up,
Protecting itself from the travesties and hatred of this globe.

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The sun shines,
The water drips,
And the birds chirp.

There is peace to be found in the air today,
And happiness.

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You wonder where the people are,
Glancing from corner to corner,
Hoping they'll appear for one brief-
MOMENT-
It's done.

There is no more.

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You have galaxies inside you and I just have a few small worlds

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It feels like my heart is being crushed in a vise
Or drowned

****
I just want to be able to breathe without thinking of you
And how you broke my ******* heart

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I never wanted this
I don't want this

All I wanted
All I want
Is you

But I can't have you

So I guess I'll have to make do.

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How long does it take to fall in love?
My mom would tell you she fell the instant my father walked in the room on their first date
The studies will tell you it takes four months
I will tell you
That I fell for you bit by bit
That every time you flung yourself
Onto your couch, your bed, your desk
I flung bits of my heart at you
That every time you laughed at my jokes
I laughed a bit of my heart away
So really,
All it takes
Is
Time

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Paroxysms of emotion
Shake shake shake
Sha-
SHAKING
Out of my brain,
Trembling down my arm,
Ballroom dancing it's way into my pen,
And finally,
Exploding into ballet across these pages,
Pirouetting, spinning,
Filling with emotion these blind, blank bits of paper
They tell me what I am,
What I am made of

I quite like it,
Discovering myself

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It's curious...
I feel as though I've touched your skin
A thousand times
And we still
Have yet to meet

How can I know someone's body and soul so well
Even though I don't?

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I think there must be a waterfall in my chest
Because whenever I even think of you
I can just hear my feelings pouring forth,
Gushing,
Flooding my heart
With pure devotion

It honestly terrifies me
How much you mean to me

I'm slowly drowning in these feelings
And it's getting hard to breathe
But you probably don't even care
You're above feelings,
I bet

Especially about me

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I want to walk through the city with you,
Two drops in an ocean.
Anonymous.

Just you and I in a million

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Your clawed hands reach through
My screen
And twist into my heart,
Ripping,
Tearing,
Until I can feel the tatters of
What used
To be my soul
Bleed Red Red Red into my bosy,
Poisoning me.

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As the bees seemingly swim through the heavy, humid air,
I dip my feet in the water and watch
The lilies floating on the surface,
Providing shade to the fish below,
And a perch to the frogs above

The clouds drift through the sky,
Shape-shifting to whatever my heart wants to see

And what I see is this:
Love hanging in with the campfire smoke
Roses, fully bloomed,
Sharp little cracks of scent,
Pushing aside the humidity, even if only for a
Moment

Fish darting through the lake's rocks,
Nervously swimming,
Gaping, gasping,
Eating Mayflies

Life is just bursting all around me,
And nature is truly in the throes of youthful energy,
As I sit here,
Transfixed and energized by the power of life.

I can practically feel the summer's heat in my veins.

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Shrine in my lungs,
Breathing prayers into the fan's air currents.

The music thumps,
Sending ripples our way.

Where do I find silence and stillness?

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The smooth, strong lines of your body
Flow much like a river does,
Clean and soft on the edges

Oh, to be wrapped up in your current!

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Winds pushing in to shore,
Bringing sand and silt with them
What else could it bring?
New hope?
New blood?

Both, I hope.

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Currently,
I find that
All I want
Is to roll over
And drape my arm around you

I can practically see the sunlight around us,
Lighting up the dust motes in the air
The birds are loudly chirping;
They awakened us from our slumber

If only life was as good as my imagination

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Screaming in the darkness
Gasping for light
So cold and...
Claustrophobic?

Can't I find a candle?
I don't even want the sun to come up
I just need something.

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Underneath the stand of cedars,
Leaf litter clothes the ground

When a foot touches down,
It is nestled in leaves and needles.

The silence of the ground
Magnifies the volume of the wind.

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You were
Right.

You are selfish.
Keeping my heart when yours was already gone from my
Grasp
Without me even knowing.

Letting my try to keep you,
Not even knowing it was
Too late.

Because you were already
Gone.

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I can hear only the thrum of my fan
And the passing of cars

The house sits still;
It has nothing to say.

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I pull my heart from my chest,
And consider it with a critical eye

"You know,
You've gotten me into a lot of trouble,"
I remark
(As if that'll do much)

But I get no response

And as I return it,
I know I can't ask it to change.
Some part of me must stay un-varnished to the world.

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The silent function
Of a messed-up worker woman
Is god's one secret

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God,
I can't believe I was so stupid.

You made a fool of me,
Which I thought nigh impossible.

You selfish girl.
You knew what you were doing.

You coward.
You knew what you were doing.

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I've been thinking a lot lately,
About growing up
And what I know is this:
I don't want to grow old
Not
One
Bit

But

I imagine, that
Growing up
(Growing old)
Even though you're creaky,
And some things don't really work all too well
(Like they used to)
You have so much in you,
Hundreds of memories
Thousands of tidbits of knowledge
All accumulated over the years

So sure, I don't want to be old and creaky
But I don't think that I'd mind
Being full of wisdom

It'd be a nice change,
That's for **** sure

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Coffee breath
Sad, old man
So drearily boring
I want to know his hidden depths

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I don't wish to see tears run down your face.
Not because I don't care,
Because
If I were to see just one
My heart might break on the spot

I need to re-frame these fears
Because in the end,
All it makes me
Is a coward
And I don't wish to be scared of
You

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Y do u h8 me
Did u ever like me to begin w/?
Where did i go wrong
Do u think i deserve this

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If I could sit here and spin my words
Into anything of substance,
I would put into effect the
Most Beautiful
symphony of words
The world had ever seen, and the
Light in it would be known far and wide

But here I lay,
Completely unmagnificent
In my drawers.

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A fountain of blood coming from your nose.
I see you writhe, I see the quiet scream exiting between your teeth
No one can help you
I can't help you.

As the pool of blood grows beneath your head,
The blood doesn't stop
It looks disgustingly rich.
I can see your soul draining out,
Soon to be dried flecks, scraped off the pavement.
No one can help you
I can't help you.

A lowly feeling indeed

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Spring has truly come
The birds are bursting forth in rapturous song,
welcoming the sun, once and truly
People are coming into the store in shorts,
Their pale legs stark
Against the dark brown tiles
And me,
I feel,
Calm.
At peace.
the long winter,
It is over,
The dark has retreated,
And the sun -
It is all that remains,
filling my heart with unprecedented joy

I haven't' felt this alive in so long
And all because of some sun and warmth.

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Write out the fuckery,
The anger,
The hate,
Breathe in understanding,
Love,
Freedom,
And then you will find
That
You
Are
...
Freed
You are you,
You are here,
You are now,
And you Will Not Change,
No matter what They might want
So what are you waiting for?
Write
And be

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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO ON LIVING
WHEN YOU'RE THE FIRST AND LAST THING
I THINK OF EVERY DAY

AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BREATHE
WHEN ALL I WANT TO INHALE IS YOUR SCENT

****
**** **** ****
**** ****

YOUR LIPS ARE ALL I DREAM ABOUT

ADN I THINK I'M WASTING AWAY
FOR WHAT IS FOOD
WHEN ALL I WANT TO EAT IS YOU

SEE, I CAN'T EVEN SPELL RIGHT
AND MAYBE THAT'S JUST MY CONCUSSION

BUT YOU'RE PUSHING OUT
EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY BRAIN

YOU'RE ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT
AND I'M SLOWLY LOSING MY WILL TO

LIVE

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My focus has never been the best,
but
You've just shot it all to ****
How can I write an essay
When
You are three feet away from my lips
(It might as well be an eternity away)

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I can think of nothing besides:
You, me, a truck bed, and the stars,
Glittering with the light of millions of years, tears,
Filling the sky with the souls of a billion lovers.

Maybe one day we can be up there too
Maybe one day our love can be on display for all the world to see.

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"It is also hard to write about a city we just moved to; it's not yet in our body"
This is because
Memories are stored in our body and tissues
This city hasn't hurt you yet
It knows you not

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Great Determination is needed for life,
Going on even when you want to give up and waste away,
Even when your lungs are rotting and poisoning your body and poisoning your mind and very being
You Must Continue
And if you do
You will get to the Core
Burning bright with love
And You Will See -
Life -
For all that it is,
Rich red blossoms in the dead of winter,
Beautiful, hot kisses on dead lips, giving life
And all you need
is Great Determination

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Sophia,
Sophia,
sweet delight!

Sweeter than the
Birds,
Bees,
A Sweet Treat
To eat!

Sophia,
My dear,
Listen up!

Button up,
Jump up,
And...


OFF WE GO!

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Everything feels so unreal
None of this is mine
I do not claim it

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