Mountains...
Greater even than the karsts
The moon itself must climb them to shine in the sky

Black rock towers,
Capped with snow
The sharp angles of the faces,
Cutting the sky

Mountains...
Earth's true giants.

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So many promises we made...
Never to be filled

Empty words,
Empty promises,
Made with full minds and mouths.

It's so unfair.
I didn't even get a
Chance.

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"Are you in love?"

...

As if feelings can be quantified, measured with time.
Am I following your Timeline of love?

I should hope not.

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Pistons misfiring,
Neurons haywire,
The general tiredness sets in...

It's been a long night.

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Creaky
Old
House

Needs grease in its joints

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Your plump, pink lips,
Conveying your honeyed words to me

They tease me...
Something I desperately want,
Yet can't have.

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Sometimes I wish I would break
All over again
So I could sew myself back together

Sometimes I miss depression
I don't know how to explain it except this:
It was such a familiar sadness

Sometimes I think I'm crazy,
Wishing for what I'll never have again..
Or at all

Sometimes I think I'm more than human
How many other people can Write Like This?

Sometimes...

Sometimes I think I'm crazy

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As I sit on my bed and
Look out the windows, I
Am drawn to the clouds,
Thundering ominously.

And as I sit on my bed,
I
Wonder what you're thinking.

Do you
Think of me as much as I think
Of you?

Do I want to know?

Perhaps that's why they
Thunder.
It's a warning.

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I mean, sure, it's a lot of work sometimes
And sure, things don't always go my way
But,
You know what?
It's so worth it

I very nearly died
I was so close to ripping myself from this world
I wanted to, I truly did

But I didn't
I held on
For dear
*******
Life
And Look Where I Am today
I've come so far
I've done so much
I put so much of myself into every  single  day
It's worth it

It truly is

Because Why do we live,
If not to watch the sunset?
Why are we here,
If it's not to feel yourself falling,
Falling in love?

We're meant to be happy, I promise
Just trust and love and you'll be ok

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Where does the darkness go when it leaves us?
Does it stick in the walls, for another family to have, years or decades down the line?
Do we compress it and hide it deep down inside us?
Or do we transfer it to other people,
Hoping they can make the best of the worst of us?

Because if so,
Then I'm sorry
I didn't mean to




I think I apologize too much

...Sorry                                                                (****)

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Stoney,
Emotionless,
Numb.

Empty,
Cold,
Hard.

Why am I feeling like this?

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The trees dance softly
Swaying in the earnest wind
I can only watch

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The karsts poke up through the trees
They are great giants, holding up the sky.

Mysteries, all of them.

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Ink-stained hands,
Ripped up heart
And all I want to know is:

Where do I go from here?
How can I recover?

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The clouds drift across the sky
Sweeping the birds' songs over the land
I wonder
What else do they bring with them?

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I never wanted this
I don't want this

All I wanted
All I want
Is you

But I can't have you

So I guess I'll have to make do.

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Without you I am lonely

My insides sit heavy in me
And I cannot bring myself to be happy.

How can I be happy when you are so many
Miles
From my heart?

And how can I be joyful when there is no laugh like yours to rebound in the corners of my tragically empty skull?

I turn into a bit of a husk with you, you see.

I need your love to fill me up.

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The cool of the forest washes over me,
As the breeze filters through the branches
Trees stand quietly around me,
While the moss sits with equal silence.

The rain has brought peace and green to the woods once again.

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God,
I can't believe I was so stupid.

You made a fool of me,
Which I thought nigh impossible.

You selfish girl.
You knew what you were doing.

You coward.
You knew what you were doing.

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There's something about a gym at midnight,
The proud stillness of everything,
As if even the wood in the floor knew the achievements won here.

The scrapes and scratches tell so many stories...
A jump, a dash, a full stop.

This gym holds valor.

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I look at you and all I can think is
I am going to break your heart

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I'm not much of a watch person
And I'm not quite sure why
Maybe it's because I measure time by how many times I've made someone laugh
Or whether or not I've written a note for someone
I suppose that means I use people, life, as my watch,
And not a stupid little dinky machine

You know, out of all the species on Earth,
Humans are the only ones who keep track of time
Maybe we need to return to our roots
And forget our clocks
I don't want to tick-tock-tick the rest of my life away

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No words
Only pictures

I don't really know
What I could say that
Would even compare
To the beauty
Of the sunset before me

(This happens more than you'd think)

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Consume my heart but don't offer your
own,
Magpie of mine.

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I truly believe that every day is a chance
And we all have a choice,
We have to choose what we are going to make with this blessing of a day
I am so fortunate
To be where I am today
And I have worked so hard
To be the person that I am
You cannot imagine
The depths of my gratitude
So don't you sit there and ***** and moan about your life
You get what you get.
Simple as that
Now it's up to you to decide what you'll do with it

You have the power to do anything,
If only you try.

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I've been in bed for two hours now
And I still can't sleep and
No matter where my thoughts drift they
Always come back to you and
How we fit together so ****
Well and I just really
Think that I'd sleep much better with you here but
Sadly, that's not the case so I guess I'll just
Lay here and dream of your stomach and soft
Lines and hope to god that you're thinking of me
Too because I haven't seen you in more than a
Month and we've barely talked in weeks but
Somehow I can't get you out of my head and
Really,
I either want you or
Silence




But most of all
I just
Really I just want to sleep

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You looked like something from a dream,
An angel
All in white.
Glowing from head to foot
And more heart-achingly beautiful than a spring day

Maybe my prayers have finally

Been answered

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I just stood out in the rain,
As if that can wash away my heartbreak,
As if that can fix the pain in my chest.

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You look like a Renaissance painting come alive,
Holy beauty and heavenly heart you are.

Were that I could capture your visage,
You'd be another Mona Lisa.

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Why do I feel like I'm just not
Enough?
Why do I feel like nothing I do is good enough for you?

Get out of your head!
Think about me for once!

I try so hard...
Do you even try at all?

It sure doesn't feel like it.

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The lights softly hum in the dark air.
Stars shine overhead,
Casting lonely bits of light to earth.
The air is sweet and soft,
And I am thankful for the coolness it brings.

Who said you can't find peace in a city?

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Black dust in orbit,
Spilling darkness into the light

Where do we go from here?
I'm dying in my head,
Screaming.

What more can I do?

It's so tiring, you know.

I'm sorry.

I just want some rest.

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Soft powder,
Settled

The air
So cold

And me,
So subdued.

Why can't this happen more often?

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Shrine in my lungs,
Breathing prayers into the fan's air currents.

The music thumps,
Sending ripples our way.

Where do I find silence and stillness?

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You wonder where the people are,
Glancing from corner to corner,
Hoping they'll appear for one brief-
MOMENT-
It's done.

There is no more.

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These weeks have been a blur and an eternity all at once...
I'm so busy,
But any day where I don't talk to you
Is the cruelest kind of punishment:
Sad and slow.

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With the sun glancing on the ground,
I find warmth in odd-shaped windows between trees;
It helps me fight of the chills.

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Surveying the scene,
The juxtaposition of dark and light
It makes one think

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What I want to say is-
...I mean-
Well what I wanted to tell you is...

I love you.

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Rain hits the ground,
Bringing new life to the flowers.

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I feel you next to me,
Closer than close

There is nothing to be said
Just touch

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Hot air flows around me,
Bathing me in warmth

...I wish I was in an ice bath.

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Tiny barbs
So small, yet they carry so much weight

Am I that blind to myself?

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Black is the color of truth
It has no pretenses,
It is not flashy,
It's just simply there.

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I miss you...
Sweetness itself,
Apple cheek smile,
So bright and warm.
My sun.

And now you feel cold,
Emotionless,
Taking me for granted.

I'm running on faith,
But I don't know how much I have left...

How much longer will My Love be gone?

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Here my heart goes again,
Filling up with
Lead.

I carry so much,
I'm surprised I can still breathe.

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The stinging wet cold
Melds with the dry heat
But I am not in the middle;
I am both at once

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I think what hurts the most is
You didn't say
You loved me back

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Wondering as always,
What did I do wrong?

Old insecurities,
Never far from the surface

Why can't you talk to me?

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And on these long, cold nights I wonder...
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Do you think of me like I think of you?

It's hard to get lost in life
When someone who made me feel so much
Is no longer in mine

There is but a dull, cold ache
And I'm afraid it's slowly spreading.
When will Spring come?
It's been a long winter

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