Your lips look so inviting
More than a tall glass of lemonade,
More than a cold shower after a run,
More than a pile of leaves in the fall

How I wish I could just
Dive right in!

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You told me you didn't want to be friends
Anymore because of the poems I wrote about
You and I just think it's ******* hilarious
That I'm still writing them about you.

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Bitterroot in my mouth,
Thinking of you.
I remember when thoughts of you filled my mouth with sweet sugar,
But there is none of that here now.

How could you?

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Rough bark
Feels strong
Long high branches
They tell a story
I wonder what it is
Is it happy or sad? Would
It make me joyful or mad?
Is it a story for the ages,
And if so,
How many
Pages
Would it fill?

So many trees
So many pages

I should like to read them
All

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I'm sinking in an ocean but I don't know what it's called

My question is
Why do I want to know where I'm going to drown?

I'm breathing in nothing but your scent and **** I need air
But I don't think anyone's ever Died So Happy
And I mean I'm Really Quite Content

So, my dear,
Keep on keepin' on
And I'll continue on my way,
With nothing to guide me but a broken heart and an even more broken compass

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I am red
My color is red
My pants are red
My shirt is too
My pen is red
My lifeblood too
Love is red
Hatred too
Birth is red
Death is too
So it would seem to me, then,
That red is the color of life

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Sometimes my joints ache so  much

And, I think,
Nothing could heal them
Quite like you

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I just looked at our truck
And then up at the sky
And *******,
I could not think of anything else
Besides you and me,
Laying in the bed of it,
Blankets and pillows surrounding us,
As we stare at the stars above.
A gentle summer breeze washes over us,
And I  swear,
I can hear my heartbeat thudding,
As we nestle closer,
To keep out the chill of the evening.

If only you knew how I felt.
If only it wasn't the dead of winter

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God,
I just want to fall
So hopelessly in love

Sleeping in each other's arms,
Whispered nothings,
Small kisses,
And pure happiness

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I have
Decided
That
You will cut my hair this summer

I

I wish to have your lightness touch me,
And maybe I'll be lucky enough to
Capture some of it
Forever

Some of your brightness of the sun
In my
Dark
Brown
Hair.

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My heart rent in two,
Cloudy days, nothing but blue
In my head.

You left,
And you informed me much too late.

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Have you ever had an idea
Where it sits
And sits
And sits
In your bones, marinating for so long,
That if somebody snapped your bones and ****** out all the marrow
They would most likely absorb the essence of your being, as well as that idea
That idea, which was so strong as to tattoo itself onto your support structure
Would now be in them

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One day,
I wish to
Exist as
Simply and peacefully as
The trees.

Tall, proud, noble, beautiful.
Sure of who I am,
And sure of my life.

Sure of who I am,
And sure of who I'll be.

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The worst thing in the world
Is when you want to take away someone's pain,
And indeed,
You'd give anything to be able to
But you can't.
So there you sit,
Heart bleeding along with theirs,
Trembling hands and achy head
Wishing for - hoping, wanting,
More than anything,
To help them.
But
You
Can't

I'm sorry I can't help
I would if I could

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I think love is like a fire
It can warm you,
Shine light in the dark,
But it can also
Consume you,
Hurt you,
Swallow you up
So you'd best be careful,
And guard your heart
Or else you'll get burned
And want to cut it out,
Nothing left but pain and ashes

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Everything's simpler in the early morning sun
...Less worries, no troubles,
Nothing but you and the rising sun,
Casting its sleepy glow over the trees and water

The flowers are dancing to the beat of the wind
And the coolness of the night,
It's leaving quietly,
With grace and simple love
To welcome in the coming heat like a familiar lover

I am struck by the symbiosis of nature
Everything works together,
Familiar with all that will come
Doing a dance invented millenia ago

And here am I,
In the thick of it all,
Blundering my way through life
All the while wishing I had half the grace of the swaying leaves

I wish I could dance,
But sadly I possess the grace of a baby duck,
Still Learning To Walk

Maybe the roses and ferns can teach me their dance
It seems quite nice.

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I never realize it till it's dark
But I am so ****** up
Am I so proud that it kills me to ask for help?
Am I so proud that when someone offers to buy me something -
I'll say no without a second thought, even
If it was something I desperately wanted?
I can barely ask for help on something as simple as a math problem.
I didn't tell my closest friend about my depression -
I didn't want to bother her with my problems,
Even though she had depression too,
And knew exactly what I was going through

Look -
My point is,
I need someone.
Someone to take care of me,
Even when I'm too proud for my own good

Someone,
Anyone.
I just want someone to see through my *******

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Scrubbing your locker combo
From my
Skin
Don't want to
Remember you, nope
I didn't want it to end like
This
But I knew it would

Me, walking away with a chunk torn from my soul,
And you, sobbing while your heart breaks
As you desperately
Try to stop me from leaving
But you're so young
And since I'm the older one
I suppose that
I have to do the best thing for us

I'm so sorry
I never wanted to break your heart.

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You might have it beat,
Though.

The sun can't hope
To
Compare to your beauty,
And radiance.

Pure and simple.
You are nothing but goodness.

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Underneath the stand of cedars,
Leaf litter clothes the ground

When a foot touches down,
It is nestled in leaves and needles.

The silence of the ground
Magnifies the volume of the wind.

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Missed opportunities are, perhaps,
what haunts me the most
Just thinking about how different things could be,
If I had done one thing differently

I hate regrets,
And I torture myself with What Could Have Been

It's like being sucker punched with brass knuckles
And it makes me nauseous

I hate regrets.

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It's early in the morning
(Or maybe late at night)
And still I'm awake and alert
(Not because I have a fright)
The clock is ticking and tocking
(I wish it would just turn back)
I'm sitting in my bed, alone
(It almost makes me laugh)
I wish I was sitting with you
(Oh, a girl has dreams)
But I know that dreams do not come true
(If they did I'd **** light beams)
And I do not wish to be alone
(Yet, here I sit)
But I know wishes will get me nowhere
(Oh, but if they did...)
So I sit here and think of you
(Naturally)

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The more you travel,
The bigger your worldview gets,
And your heart as well.

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How long Must I Wait?
To have you in my arms again,
Touching places only we know?

Deprived of air,
Deprived of water,
Deprived of food...

No, it is something worse.
Those do not measure up
To being deprived of you.

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I've got dreams
You've got dreams
We've all got dreams
So how are you going to achieve those dreams
If you're not even alive?
I want you to live
I want to witness your dream come alive
And I hope you'll do the same for me

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I think perhaps you are a daffodil,
A Hardy creature
Blooming before the rest of us even poke up our heads
Beautiful,
Radiant.
Like a little sun.

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You look like the most beautiful painting I could never make,
Like the best poem I could never write,
And you look so perfect that it just steals all my words and I am left
Speechless
Because how could I ever hope to be worthy enough to have someone like you?
If I'm a candle, you're a star
If I'm a rainstorm, you're a tsunami
And I'm a tree, you're the whole ******* forest.

I think the saddest thing is that you don't
even know
How utterly breathtaking you are,
How perfect you are to me
If you saw yourself the way I saw you,
You'd glitter brighter than the frost on my windows
In the morning sun

I haven't fallen this hard for someone in so long.

It *****, because you'll never know.

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See the secret to expectations
Is to not have any
That way,
You'll either be pleasantly surprised
Or...
Nothing.
You expected nothing,
You got nothing,
You got what you expected

I need to work on that, still
...
Not getting my hopes up
I need to learn that hopes and expectations are the same thing

Happy ******* birthday to me.

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Ah-
I am sad
And it's all because of you

You hate me and you don't even know it.

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What we are here for
We are never born with it
Instead, we must search for it

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The sunlight dances off the water,
Playfully carousing on the overhanging branches

How lucky we are,
To have something bring us light, life, and love
Every day.

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Just
Being in your arms
Would make me feel better than
And soup or medicine
Could

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The sun on the ice blinds me
The light is too much to bear

And the wind,
How it chills my bones!

It races through the trees,
Crashing, hollering,
Whipping them about

It is supposedly spring,
And yet...

It all sounds quite dead.

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Spring has truly come
The birds are bursting forth in rapturous song,
welcoming the sun, once and truly
People are coming into the store in shorts,
Their pale legs stark
Against the dark brown tiles
And me,
I feel,
Calm.
At peace.
the long winter,
It is over,
The dark has retreated,
And the sun -
It is all that remains,
filling my heart with unprecedented joy

I haven't' felt this alive in so long
And all because of some sun and warmth.

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I want to hike mountains with you
And kiss you on the top of cliffs


Let us be far away
From here,
My dear

And live gently in the sun

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I cannot count it
How much I've almost grasped it
And it just -slip- away

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Pine tree tops
Adorned with little cones -crowns-
The jewel of the heavens,
Brown and prickly

Beauty comes in many forms
It's a shame we don't always see it.

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I could be eating ash right now and it would
Taste the
Same

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God, I hate people.
People are so ******* horrible
They're so ******* cruel

But, **** it all,
People are a drug I can't quit

So noble,
Full of hope, love, inspiration...

People are paradoxes of the worst kind
And **** it all,
I can't quit them

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My room smells like springtime and I've never felt more alive

It smells like melting snow,
The first chirp of birds,
Heavy, brown earth peeking up at the sun,
Patchy grass that's finally breathing,
A shy Sun that wants to spread warmth,
And hope.

Hope that It Will Get Better
And we will Make It So

I feel I'm coming alive with the trees

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Can you unmoor me from these feeling?
The deep dark anchor-anger
Of powerlessness
To my own self

Of never being able
To escape the darkness completely
And breathe solely in the light

Everyone loves me for my strength, but
Can you love me for my weaknesses?

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To me, it seems,
The loveliest people
Always wear sadness the best
They've been through the worst of it
So even if they can't fix themselves
They can at least stop you from breaking

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God I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
God I could write pages pages pages pages pages of apologies but what ******* good would they do because they won't make you change your mind and come back to me, ****, PLEASE, I'm so sorry I never meant for them to happen I'll take back every single thing I wrote I'll burn it ALL I PROMISE JUST PLEASE TALK TO ME

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Standing high in the trees,
I am
Untouchable

One with the branches and bark
Smelling of sap and needles

If only I could just...

Melt into the wood
And
Be done with all this

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Great Determination is needed for life,
Going on even when you want to give up and waste away,
Even when your lungs are rotting and poisoning your body and poisoning your mind and very being
You Must Continue
And if you do
You will get to the Core
Burning bright with love
And You Will See -
Life -
For all that it is,
Rich red blossoms in the dead of winter,
Beautiful, hot kisses on dead lips, giving life
And all you need
is Great Determination

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Bitter, bleeding rocks fill my mouth.
I have so much that I want to say,
But nothing comes out.

The harsh truth,
Known by us both,
Will never be spoken.

How cowardly of us.

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Better a death from lung cancer than a death from a broken heart

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I thought I had no more in me to write

I was wrong

The girl lives to write another day,
Broken, bloodied, bent,
But her heart still beats,
Even if it leaks out her soul

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You walk with Strength,
And the sun shining out of your eyes
If only we could all be that
Sure

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I am weary.

My joints ache and crack and crunch and pop,
And my eyes droop,
                                   lower,
                                              lower,

F
   a
     l
      l
       i
        n
          g

I should like to lay flat next to you.
You'd heal me better than any balm or bandage.

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