You need to
Feel
The pressure first and see
Why
It was there
And maybe you'll
Discover
That it had quite
A purpose
All that time

Did your
Soul and Person,
too
collide and did it
propel you in
the utmost struggle
as well
Did you
like me
see yourself out of
facets of
disrupted glasses
did you
trust
everyone more than
your
inner
self
Did you,
too
grow and grow and
grow without
your outer knowing
for such a long time
Did you
throw tantrums whenever
facing
a new
thick
layer between
the two
Did you
like me
understand
only now
how
marvellously great and
powerful
you have become
through this

All
four
corners
steadfast and
ready
and a purple shine
and full of
confidence

Glowing in moon-
and sunlight:

Your
own
Foundation

Heart and
Belly
At the moment knocking
Each other out
Like an electric current
One little electron
Just not agreeing

Four buzzard hawks came flying
Into my view today
Dancing in the air
Before the
Azure blue sky and triggered
A relieved
Exhale putting
A smile back on my face

You are
A masterpiece a super
Seismograph
And now
You do not only register
The scary earthquakes
Now you can
Rediscover
The complete power of
Your full technology

What a beautiful
Sight
The naked man
Courageous and
Completely unashamed

I cannot
lie
either
Dear
If one thing runs
through my veins:
It's truth

Do you feel your
heart break
Love
do you feel
a thousand pieces
scattered
surround you-
It'll mend
and mend
always
again

The rain gets
Stronger now and drops
Noisily
Onto the glass roof top
While first rays
Of light come through
And we
Like kids
Are waiting for the rainbow

How you said
whining
You want to go home
How I got it
then
and answered
You can go home soon
How this was
probably
the hardest thing
I ever did

A part of me still
flinches
at the sight of
hospital scenes
tubes and white sheets
blood stains-
it's not the hospital though
it's
the memories

Out of the woods stumbles, falls the most lovable creature,
beaming red face half smiling half bewildered and tears everywhere, scratches on the cheeks and forehead and even on the nose,
thick eyebrows covering beaming eyes.
You take first
hesitant
steps, walk towards the tree line, where the grass melts into the soil and touches the tree trunks.
This face, beaming; Your eyes, still a bit fearful to meet.
But oh you cannot really wait.
You take more steps, walk a bit faster now,
watch your own feet as their pace quickens…
still quickens…
How your heart opens, reaches out…

Your mind goes
Not strong enough
to do this
not strong...
your head almost
exploded
but
you are not strong for
knowing it
you gain strength
on the way

He'll follow you nonetheless
in the shadows
so you might as well turn
face him
see how
crooked and helpless
he looks
how he took on the shape
of your enemies
Go over
Love
hug him
embrace
the stuff you have
externalised
Make this poor devil
stop the chasing

The puppeteer thinking
all along he's
in charge and power while
all the puppets know very well
and play along for his sake since
without them he'd be
just downright lonely so they
let him off the strings
slowly and with
utmost caution
and only when they know
he's ready

And he is ready now

Wearing a crown quite often
makes you feel very
lonely
and burdened

A weight on your head that
if you be honest
never fully felt
yours
in the first place

Now
sharing the weight
handing over a little
splinter of
this
very
crown
does feel

so much lighter
and just

These days
when I say out loud
or think
I miss you
what I mean is
I can't wait

I love you.

It's not any
outside force that decides
does the spin top drop
or not
it's YOU
Babe,
all along has been

If you
Externalize
Your pressure
Dear
It will
For sure
Push back to you
And you will feel
Awkwardly pushed away and not
know
Why

Love
after all
has the power to
fully
liberate you

Holy Christ how
the hell could we
for so long
leave out
of this gesture
the Mother
how
on earth
could we think
this would work

Do not hide
a single tear dripping
down from your chin
do not listen
to the jealous
insecure choir
be male
be delicate
❦

A fierce
little woman always
so so assertive always
having to hide
cut it down
always sliding along
the edge of self pollution
Enough!
head up Love
and
chin out
be female
be assertive
❦

Not aggressive but
decisive not unarmed but
benevolent
sit in
calm knowing and
in clarity
communicate
you are not
split
but whole
and tired-
unwilling-
to hide it

It's not all just
hips moving
Love
it's more than that and less
mechanical

A dream of two palms
touching
a spark
ignites the whole of
universe

And later
panting
two kids having run
a long way
smiling at each other

How come this feels so
warm and familiar
and new
all at once

You hear this, listen.
I sit, naked, covering up a bit. I sit in a field, and no one sits with me yet. I stand, sit or both in turn. My skin feels so open that every thing comes like a blow.

I felt like this so often during the past few months, maybe even years. I felt like this, and did not feel like this.

I was naked in the field and unshielded because I could. I was naked because I knew I could be, and that you were there with me, always. I knew it and did not know it.

The eyes closed, the eyes open, half open. And the knowing, always there, but sometimes just like a distant scent, afar, in the background, to be grasped only with utmost gentleness.

This knowing grew, and so did my heart. Until now, it seems to let everything touch it, again, and feel for everything.

I am naked in the field, and I see everyone else, naked, being there with me.

Eyes open or not.

Is it just that
all things now
come together
Is it just
a warm confirmation
Is it
what I hope it
to be
Is this
a question,
Dear
or is it already
your answer

Do you know how to
make the current rush
from your heart to your
toe and through
til your fingertips

Do you know how the world
likes to play with you

Do you know
all you thought
could be true,
Love

I looked at the sundown
and looked at my ***
and could't decide
which one I liked best

People hurt you because
they are
hurt
by taking it personal you
just hurt
yourself
let it sail on by,
Love
let it
slide

Jumping in and
out of
allowing
is the most
exhausting
state

Such a big light,
Honey
and so many
wide eyes
staring
so much time passed
hiding yourself
And so no wonder
Dear;
so many tears falling
now we are
out in the open

I cry today for
all those
hurtful moments
for  having been pushed and
having let them push me
into  fear of guilt