The guy friends like to tease me
because I like to secretly romance
the young souls that need and deserve it.

"Ohh, you gonna read her a poem and cuddle?"

They razz at me. . .

"You bought her flowers?!?"

*****. . .

Yes I will, and yes, yes I did.

These are the same men who probably never saw
that special sparkle in a womans eye
that they all posses
and if you are not careful.
It just might burn right through you.

I tried not to fall in love with Mila for she was broke
She who hid her crooked honest smile
Holding her coffee every morning
I said hi, she just never noticed I was the one that cared
Her eyes screamed 'help me'
Help me from myself
But no one could ever understand
She who sat alone in the mornings with her writing pad
She who walked alone staring at objects not eyes
I smiled at her everyday, she never looked up
She who probably cried every night
Everyday day
All the time
..
One day Mila walked towards me
I sighed in disbelief
She stared at me with her big brown eyes and said 'Keep this for me'
She handed me her writing pad
She walked away soon
I waited till the next morning
She never came.
She with her absence
She with her obscure self
She with her unveiling silence
All she needed was help
..
I fell in love with Mila
A love that was spurred from afar
For it was no possession
Admiration that was all
She who I could've helped
She who was so beautiful
She who understood how much life was doomed
She who's soul didn't belong here
..
Mila killed herself, for this was not her place, she went to try another universe
I'll be joining her there.

You used to give me butterflies
  Now you give me anxiety

I used to smile just thinking about you
  Now it fills me with anger

You used to make me cry with joy
  Now they're just tears of sadness

You used to be my reason to stay strong
  Now you're the reason I relapse

I used to imagine a bright future
  Now all seems dark

You used to be the calming voice inside my head
  Now its the one that screams that loudest

You used to always make me feel better
  Now you're why I hurt so bad

You mended my heart and made me feel whole
  Now you've broken it and left me in pieces

I used to write love poems about you
  *Now the only ones I could write are of pain

I'm so tired sad and confused
Lost hurt and forgotten in this place
Want to know what I do to feel something
I usually lay on either side of my body
I go into deep thought about everything: how I have no one, how I am a no one, ect. , and it doesn't even take me long to think it through cause I know its the truth.
Then I get so depressed I tear up.
And this ladies and gentlemen, is it.
One satisfying lovely heartbroken tear comes out my eyeball and is slowly making it way to my pillow or even into my deep collarbone. If it goes to my pillow then its just one in a million sitting in it. But I usually like it in my collarbone, well because this the part I told you about. I feel something there. Something or someone is near me. Resting on my cold, cold, bones.