please be nice                                            
i know i cry too easily          
i know i crack at silly things
but everything hurts  
and nothing takes the pain away                      
it crushes me down  
it weighs so much  
its a constant torment        
and it never eases off
it just gains momentum                              
and i fall      
faster
and faster
and faster
down  and                              
d                    
o              
w        
n  
please catch me                                        
and be gentle                            
sorry for asking for this                                                
i'm not usually this fragile                                                
but the pressure
caused by this
ordeal (death)                
is forcing        
my glass cage            
to crack                    
and crumble      
please                                                      
be nice?                                            
i'm hurting                                                                            
please be nice
and hold me        
keep me together
please
keep all the pieces
that crack and fall
away                                                                                              
don't loose the                              
puzzle pieces that                        
create my whole                          
because i'm not usually
this        b R ok E    N                                                  
i ask a favor  
be my glue?  
hold me safe?
..please?..

you're the pale disk of floating in my sky
untouchable and unreachable                                
yet you're always there

floating, unmoving but there                                        
even in the day                                                
sitting umong the clouds
set upon a blue backdrop                      
i find you constantly during the day
searching the sky frantically to re locate you                                      
but you're always there                              

at night it becomes easier to find you            
but harder to ignore you too

your pale, distinct light is a reliable roommate
i'm always up at night                                                
i can't help it, you're at your brightest then      
i can't ignore you    
can't sleep while you're near
i wouldn't want to                                                    

maybe that's why i sleep peaceful  
on stormy nights      
when you're not keeping me up            

not that the moon can help shining
brighter at night
than in the day                      

[ ~ ]

is it too much to imagine
that a fool like you could
pity a fool like me

they say
birds of a feather
flock together
yet appariently
family is forever too
yet everyone knows
that's not always the truth

because some families
are bound to be broken
along with the hearts
of unwilling and unknowing
children where mommy
no longer likes daddy
and daddy's bedtime stories
stop being told
along with mommy's
new drinking problem

to these children
with the likes of the tooth
fairy and easter bunny
do they realise
that the bogies
in their closets
moved two houses down
and became that man
who preys on young
girls in their skirts

would you pity
that girl
who was attacked
by the bogie man
or do you pity
the father who
wasnt there to stop it
maybe you should pity
the younger brother
who hung himself
after the bogie man
was released
and the mother
who lost herself
in her drink

swirling at the bottom of a glass
thinking that maybe
if she haddent had fallen
for that dark haired
handsome man who
wasn't her husband
would she had been able
to keep that bogie
harmlessly in a closet
to hang with coats

i know that sometimes          
i live in my head
/heart/soul                
because it's where we're together      
it's better than the cold                                  
real reality of how alone i feel now

i don't believe in it at all    
how is my soul
going to mystically travel            
into either the sky                                              
or the depths of earth?
only depending on how i do    
in life                                
well i'm not bad at it
but i'm definitely not good
i want to die                            
sometimes            
and i don't think                                          
there's anywhere worse                                          
or anywhere better                                          
than earth                                          
i'm just seeing the
worst side of it            
now

i also don't believe in heaven or hell
because              
and you know what?
hell; its in the ground                                                                  
where do we get buried?                                                            
hell; its a burning pit                                                                    
why do people get cremated?                                                    

burnt and buried in the ground                                                

i don't believe in heaven
or hell                                    
i believe
earth          
can be both of them

imagine
waking up
and not dreading
the day
imagine
going to sleep
and dreaming of happiness
not nightmares
imagine
our loved ones
holding us
throughout life
and leading the way
imagine
death being
something that just
happened when it
was meant to
imagine
**living

thankfully              
you found enough
for both of us        

i love you
x

here: living with you          
here: living at all                  
here: in this body                 
here: in this head                  
here:                                       
alive

i haven't felt the need to be perfect for you
because i know                                        
i'm perfect for the person i love
and they're perfect for me
so where's the need  
for me to change
only for you

i want to love you
but i cant
i'm scared
and you don't
understand