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maybella snow Jul 2013
can you tell me
                     write it down
                     dream it out
of a happy place
             so we can escape
   and be
                                     together

           and please make sure
                      no matter what happens
              we'll be able to go there
   any time we need

                           i'd dream it out
                           and write it down
     if i could
              but it seems
my imagination
       is faltering
    
                                     so could you please help me out?
maybella snow Jun 2013
i feel lost                                                                                              
like a piece of
d  r  i  f  t  w  o  o  d                                    

lost                                                                                
cut off          
cast away                                

no direction                                              
no place to be
maybella snow May 2013
9:57pm
its not too late yet
i'll stay and wait
just a little longer for you

9:58pm
minutes slow down
like gravity in space
i wait for your reply

9:59pm
okay deep breathing
it cant be too long now
a couple more minutes

10:00pm
only three minutes have passed
don't send another useless message
it cant be too long now

10:01pm
maybe there'll be no reply
"what ifs" float by
just wait, don't do something stupid

10:02pm
okay, sending that useless message now
maybe you'll notice it and reply
no such luck

10:03pm
desperation over nothing
its only been seven minutes silly
yet waiting is painful now

see how you effect me?
see how i need you?
look at what 7 minutes does to me
i become desperate and freak out
i'm sorry if i'm needy, i don't try
it just happens
maybella snow Jun 2013
a fog in my head
           i couldn't see past it
                   it was too think for
   any eyes to penetrate
it blocked thoughts
           and d i S t o r t E d images

            un-knowingly
                 i found that external pain
             eliminates that fog
                like a swift breeze

too bad it resulted in bruises
            and cuts

              but i now can think clearly  
       and i hope that fog
               doesn't return for a long time

//
maybella snow Jun 2013
gentle lines surround the lips
crows feet corner the eyes
sliver hairs over come fake dye
forehead dotted with sun spots

growing old
keep it that way
be proud that you made it
you got to get wrinkles
living didn't **** you
embrace your slivering hair
crows feet make your eyes stand out
sliver hair sparkles in the sun
sun spots show you have lived

you did it
you grew old!
C:
maybella snow Aug 2013
i  want  to  leak  it  out
along  with  the  blood
that   runs  partnerless
in the  blue veins  that
trace lifeless pale skin
maybella snow Aug 2013
at least we only feel that
                        when we're apart
      but we'll never be alone
   we know what's wrong
         but can we fix it?
       do we want to?
    is there any need to?

              we're whole and happy
     when we're together
           that's a good thing
maybella snow Jul 2013
it's a little strange                      
that when i can't think                            
of anything to write about
i am able to write about this nothing                
because nothing is something                
even when there's nothing there      
because right now                                              
i feel nothing                                
so i shall                                                  
write    
about this nothing                
as if it was                                                              
something
maybella snow Jul 2013
i have too many empty spaces
       that can only be filled by you
             - my fingers
             - my bed
             - my arms
             - my head
             - my house
             - my heart
             - my love
             - my pain
             - my life
                                         you can
                                         fill the  g a p s
maybella snow Aug 2013
my face is pale                
my eyes red and puffy  
my smile's gone              
the colour i had
in the happiness of you
is gone
maybella snow May 2013
i wake from a nightmare,
a nightmare where i was alone.
i was cold,
frozen to the bone,
and in a lightless place.

...

i feel my love behind me,
not quite touching,
but there all the same.
my heart flutters in happiness,
still recovering from the scare i got.

...

i can sense them like a detached limb,
i always know where they are.
they haven’t moved in a while,
they must be in a deep slumber.

...

i realize its freezing,
roll over and snuggle closer to my love,
a comforting smell,
a warm body.
there’s nothing.

...

i reach my fingers out further,
timid.
still nothing.
only more coldness.

...

i stretch my limbs out to resemble a star fish.
touching all corners of my bed.
my heart wavers,
i remember.

...

they were never there.
i never had them beside me,
never had been in love.
it wasn’t a nightmare,
it was real.  

...
maybella snow Jul 2013
it angers//disappoints me            
                                   that my poems
never end up how i    
want and think they'll be                            
                                          i set out
ideas in full blast                
and try and write exactly how i                          
feel and why                    
                                      or what i think about it
                                                  but i write something
and everyone has their own views                                          
ideas and musings on what my                    
poem could be about                                                      
of course everyone's going to do that                                                            
                                                                      i just want people to see
                                           what i want them too
                                         what i set out to do
it doesn't work though
maybella snow Oct 2013
hide my heart, a booklet of lines
     etched as jagged ripped lines
glue your love to it
                           cover the holes
but they'll always be there
maybella snow Aug 2013
i've been
           so close
to crying
                                            so many
                            times today
                                    it is
                                             really quite
                      sad
maybella snow Aug 2013
all my aches left me
i stopped hurting    
most bad thoughts  
were gone,                                          
to be replaced by                                          
simplicity                                          
and happiness                                          
and i think  
90% of it      
was because
of you                          
thanks.
thank-you
so much
x
maybella snow Jul 2013
our souls clasps onto each other
         attempting to hold
                         onto what we both know
   will be gone
                   all
                too
           soon
       *****
maybella snow Oct 2013
i'm proud of my scars
wait, listen to me      
i'm not proud of          
the fact that i have them
i'm proud                    
of the        
fact that
they used to be cuts
and are now          
scars
because they've                      
healed
maybella snow Oct 2013
my poetry is thoughts
about what i'm feeling
and yes,
everything i write
is about my life
i don't understand
how to not write
about what i'm feeling
because that is
why i write
to get out thoughts,
feelings, events, etc
maybella snow Jun 2013
if only it was as easy as
putting a band-aid on
and kissing it

when you were young
and you scraped your knee
off you went, crying to your mother

where she would sit you down
get a band-aid, slap it on
and kiss the top

it made everything better
you again ran off
to get more scrapes and bumps

because the band-aid was
an easy fix, it stopped the pain
in an instant

...
maybella snow May 2013
waiting
i don't know
what for
but i
need it
and time
isn't passing
quick enough
maybella snow Aug 2013
your hair fell into your eyes
      but you didn't brush it away
      you left it
                                                     there
     covering your eye
it was so cute                                                        (i love you)
but i hated
    that you left it there
    and i wasn't able
    to brush it
                                                     away
    it tortured me
    please don't leave it
                                                     there
    just move it
                                                     away
    for me please
    end my torture of not
    being able to move it
maybella snow Aug 2013
i've a pounding headache.              
i havet eaten much.                                
i need a coffee
and maybe some music
Sorry this is not even a poem, idk
maybella snow Jul 2013
i can no longer look at birds
                    as they fly free through the sky
i can't stand seeing fish
                        as they're able to swim away
freedom entrapped me
no one is holding me here
but i can't leave either
maybella snow Dec 2013
charcoal pencils
scraped across blank paper
dark stains and smudges
unable to remove
maybella snow Aug 2013
i'm feeling really fragile
     delicate and brittle
easy to break
               and finely painted on
           mostly pale with pastel color
please don't
  d
      r
  o
     p
           me to shatter on the ground
   be gentle with the fine china
maybella snow Jul 2013
Holding the great and noble horse’s mane,
following the long and windy track,
going at hi-speed, wishing I had reins,
with the moving fire right at our back,

Seeing the wild animals speeding away,
running with minds set on getting out,
trying to keep the soaring flames at bay,
hearing the crackles and pops all about.

Heart pumping and legs burning but still going,
Huffing and puffing with all my weight,
a great wild bush brumby worth your knowing.
This fantastic horse is my best mate,  

Watching the sun going down through his ears,
wondering how far this fire zone went.
It feels like we have been running for years,
now that most of his power is spent.

Running for the break in amidst the trees.
Almost out of the toxic black cloud.  
Finally there, going week at the knees,
reaching the ground just recently ploughed,

Greeting all the firemen with tired smiles.
Slowly walking away from the heat,
with zero energy after those miles.
This horse, my mate, none could ever beat.

Days after my nerve-racking bush sprint,
devastation had now set in,
for those where the fire left a foot print,
years worth of growth were now in the bin,  

The rider wasn’t asked what happened, of course.
for three weeks that ride was all the talk:
gossip about a fire, a rider, and horse.
It all began that day with a walk.
    
Sometimes I meet him out in the moonlight
and we remember that fateful day.
We were friends at first sight
soon I wish we could go race away.

Friendship is like a never ending game
over bumps and potholes like a tyre.
Wether a dog or horse, none can tame,
friendship can even endure bush fire
yeah ugh, an old poem i have, wrote it a couple of year ago i was like 13, written on a topic (i live in the country okay, don't judge, this isn't something i normally write about) and i won state for it, so i guess its good. meh... gah i really don't like it, it probably wont stay up for long...
maybella snow Jul 2013
/fire/*
- one that keeps you going
- one that warms you in winter
- inner fire (heart, soul)
- candle (lighting the way)
- we're burning (lust)

- burn down forests
- killed (my heart)
- put out my fire
- utter destruction
- nothing but cinders
- smoke (inhalation, can't breathe)


fire - metaphorical for love
maybella snow Oct 2013
thinking "small"
five days isn't much
but its the most
i've lasted for
some time
maybella snow Jul 2013
studying my face today
      you said
  "i wish i had your flawless skin"
               my skin is far from flawless
you can't see the scars
        lacing my limbs and chest
so maybe i don't have pimples
                 but my skin is not
    flawless
maybella snow Nov 2013
will there ever be a day                              
when people are just dust    
nothing more
where it doesnt matter          
how happy, sad, perfect, imperfect
you are              
where being gay, straight, bi
doesnt matter    
religion doesn't occur    
because thoughts are limited
only floating matters  
getting caught in                                    
different air flows                                  
rising and sinking                                  
will there be a day
where life is just                that.
life,                                                                 and death
is another way
of living
~**~
maybella snow Jul 2013
sleep butterflies are teasing me
                  they land on my eyelids
only for a few minutes                
just to take off                          
                                 and leave me drowsy enough
         to not be able to wake fully
they dance over my eyes          
                       i receve flighty sleep
awake
maybella snow Jun 2013
once someone asked me what my favorite flower was                                    
                                                                                                    i told them, "a dandelion"
they looked confused for a moment                                
before i told them why                                                

                                            i like dandelions because
                                   not only are they cute and fluffy           [hehe]

they're also weeds                              
                            found in every day places
nothing special          
but i love them                        

and for me                                                                        
i will always think of them as little wishes                                                
running around crazy in the garden                    
as a child, if you blew it all away in one breath                                                    
then you got a wish                                                                    

                              now every time
i see one of those cute
                                                    fluffy, light
                                                    everyday weeds
                      i smile as i bend down to pluck it gently
                                                trying not to ruffle it too much
                                                                            i draw in a breath
                                                 and watch as the segments go flying
                                                                          dawdling through the air
and i make a wish                                                                      
on that flyaway dandelion
its true, dandelions are my favorite flower or ****...
maybella snow Oct 2013
tie my heart
get your lies and secure them
make sure they hold it
because my heart
is sure to fly
maybella snow Jun 2013
its polite to say
         "how are you?"
                  and it's presumed
that you're "okay" or "good, thanks"
     so thats what i say
for convenience
"how are you?"
         "i'm good, thank-you"

                         but
what i want to say is;
                        "alive, unfortunately"

...
maybella snow Jul 2013
the hunger i feel isn't curable by food
  my eyes desire to devour your body
my ears starve for your voice
  my lips are famished in need of yours
my fingertips crave the feeling of your skin
  my heart tightens in pain

this hunger doesn't decrease
     with the consumption of food
maybella snow Jul 2013
i know
for a fact
that we're not fighting                    

i've learnt that                    
our silences aren't bad            
it's just both of us                

taking a breath                                            
and storing this                                          
memory with the others                            

no,          we're not fighting
just being quiet
together
maybella snow Jul 2013
becoming lost in a patchwork of words
               running between the tilting letters
          ink splashes
                       paper tears
pace quickens as i run
                  a nightmare created of something i loved
       my love screams at me
                                      where did i go wrong?
they're screaming
        but clutching their ears
                       maybe they're just in pain
   did i cause their pain?
                                 no i can't have
                                      i didn't do anything
                              did i?
countless doubts
      numberless words
                          screeched like fingernails on chalk boards
             scratching down my backbone
  ripping through my head
                      shivering or shuddering?
               it's all pain now
       but is it my pain or yours?
                           there's no border anymore
its combined
               my knuckles split
                                        in contact with the wall
    no winner
             but pain is gained
i haven't written in a while, so i forced myself to write something.
maybella snow Jan 2014
no


you still


hurt me


yes


I still


need you
maybella snow Sep 2013
small swirls                              
twists and                                          
turns                    
spirals and                  
flips                                                
all                                               leaves      
fall                                
some    faster                                      
than                    
others                                  
just remember
that                                                            
we all                                                              
fall from that tree              
(of life) eventually
maybella snow Oct 2013
i realize i was sad
depressive
"gone"
a little help would
have been
nice
or at least
understanding

even nicer?
to feel as if i                                   wasn't alone
to say the least
maybella snow Jul 2013
life consists of* tiny
f rA *g
m e n T s
                  glued together            messy
*yet whole
maybella snow Aug 2013
a life was lost to love
                     why love when hearts are so fragile?
       i covered my arm with the ink of my pen
       rather than the usual blood with a blade
                              love is lost in the world, i'm just a grain of sand
where'd all the
beauty of the
world go?
i think it
died when
you did
                                  dreams and reality are all nightmares in the end
maybella snow Aug 2013
the only ones i want
is for my heart to be trapped in yours  
and my head to be caught in yours      
while my body is held captive in yours
yeah this is the                                          
                                                                ­          freedom

i'm asking for:
to be your prisoner
maybella snow Jun 2013
i'm cold                 yet thats nothing new                
i'm always cold lately        

i refuse to put more layers on
so i sit                          
and shiver        

finally            
i actually feel something        
it's bitter cold                        
but it's real    

not like the fake heat            
of thinking about you                
fake love
where it was real

no, instead                                    
i remain frozen                      

an ice statue  
where tears fall                    
but its okay      

because

they freeze
before they get far            
they roll down
to halfway                  
before stopping
on my cheek          

tiny frozen icicles
maybella snow Jul 2013
i'm not afraid of the dark as i used to be
     i welcome it as a friend
                                    lost lover
                                    only child
               baby,
      i miss you
it's killing me
maybella snow Jul 2013
watching people from      
a distance

as they perform everyday      
things                    

i wonder    
if someone, somewhere
envies my life                    

as they watch it      
from a distance
maybella snow Feb 2014
warm blankets
cover me yet
there seems to be
a new coating
of frost on my skin
rippling tired
depressive wakes
behind me
shadows are
attached yet mine
is lacking in
a certain lustar
because it's constantly
fading... or maybe
I'm just slowy
disintegrating
into something
sharp and cold
and no longer
human
I'm seeing a psychologit  tomorrow.. I'm scared and am probably going to be medicated soon I need someone to hold me hah
maybella snow Jun 2013
**** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this ****
**** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this ****
**** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this **** **** this ****
**** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS ****
**** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS ****
**** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS **** **** THIS ****

.****.
.
.this.
.
.****.
.
this is not a poem, not an attempt at a poem either, it is completely ungraceful, but really..
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