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maybella snow Jan 2014
consisting of eyes it sits there on the wall wondering what wondering is like and liking where it's thoughts wondered. eyes sat still seated no where in particularly yet sitting. watching in wonder waiting to see what the sad girl who happened to sleep where it lived living happily while she simply lived. it waited and watched. watched and waited. wondering why if she brought home a man he left soon after. she cried. it wondered what there was to cry about. she had a bed. she ate and slept. showered and dressed. studied and learnt. yet she cried. and cried. distressed about what was wrong with her it wondered. it especially wondered why she had red lines on her wrists that she covered. but she ate and slept. lived and cried every day.

she felt the pressure getting to her. texts to read tests to pass. and the pain was persistent. not possible to pin point. it was everywhere. covering her from hea to toe was an aching throb. some days when the ache wouldn't stop. the only way to focus it on one point. was with a blade. simple and harsh.

it got lost in the missing spaces of the girls life. live simply to live simple as that.
my thoughts make no
sence I know sorry
maybella snow Jan 2014
what's the space between space called
what makes the darkness darker
where's the highest height, lowest low
how does light lighten up things
how is there a place between places
how does a smell stay smelly
what gravitates gravity
why can't I stop loving and needing you
maybella snow Jan 2014
I tripped over myself
looking for where
you hid my heart
rib cage empty
thoughts blaring
I drank little
too much
I noticed my words
slured and he looked
sideways at me when
I slowed down
yet he never stopped
to give me a hand
I guess that shows
how I mean nothing to him

I managed to text broken
letters to him at 12:30am
and he was still awake
hours away, in a bed
I messed up
told him I wanted to die
he told me to stop drinking
and find somewhere
off the streets to sleep
he didn't tell me to
go die or get help
because after all
I drank little
too much
maybella snow Jan 2014
is it worth it?
falling apart
and blaming
myself? I mean
I'm the one
who has mental
issues, I shouldnt
take to heart
when no one
wants me.
except the dark

I know I get judged
for the way I wear
my eyeliner
I look "goth"
sometimes
but I only do it
as a secret promise
to myself that
i am not permitted
to cry that day
because it would
smudge.
name call all you want
but I'm the one who's
forcing myself not to
cry
maybella snow Jan 2014
it bothers me
that your arm
is more comfortable
than my pillow

or maybe it just
bothers me that your
arm isn't under
my head now
maybella snow Jan 2014
swirl me at the bottom
of your drink, contemplating
the thought, of leaving it
warm and flat,
not the best part
of anything.

breathe me in
like the last little bit
of your cigarette.
you lit me up and drew
me in, I'm a killer at heart
not in nature
but step on me
when you're done
*chuckle*
maybella snow Jan 2014
is it too much to imagine
that a fool like you could
pity a fool like me

they say
birds of a feather
flock together
yet appariently
family is forever too
yet everyone knows
that's not always the truth

because some families
are bound to be broken
along with the hearts
of unwilling and unknowing
children where mommy
no longer likes daddy
and daddy's bedtime stories
stop being told
along with mommy's
new drinking problem

to these children
with the likes of the tooth
fairy and easter bunny
do they realise
that the bogies
in their closets
moved two houses down
and became that man
who preys on young
girls in their skirts

would you pity
that girl
who was attacked
by the bogie man
or do you pity
the father who
wasnt there to stop it
maybe you should pity
the younger brother
who hung himself
after the bogie man
was released
and the mother
who lost herself
in her drink

swirling at the bottom of a glass
thinking that maybe
if she haddent had fallen
for that dark haired
handsome man who
wasn't her husband
would she had been able
to keep that bogie
harmlessly in a closet
to hang with coats
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