i managed to face the world
without crying in public
i held my food down
or the small amount
that was consumed
little blood was spilt
i shook some
and panicked
no one saw tears
i'm "getting better"
yeah sure, i'm getting better
suicidal thoughts were at a lower
number than before
still pressing my mind with possibilities
the urge to cut was there
i mostly held it in
i'm so much better
i cried at home
in bed alone
the cuts were smaller
i ate something
and kept it down
didn't say anything
to anyone
after all
i'm "getting better"
*i want to die