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maybella snow Aug 2013
but the glorious feeling
          of having
                       no sustainable thoughts
                                    is amazing
everything
                                                             flitters
                          around

pay no attention to the
emotions you were feeling
        white fuzz
cloud
                             covers them with a veil
                nothing matters
maybella snow Aug 2013
i'm trying so hard
to learn how        
to accept compliments
and actually believe it
i am trying
i really am
but no matter what                    
i just cant seem to grasp                    
why anyone would think                  
i have the ability to be pretty                  
i just
can't
maybella snow Aug 2013
stared through
                        smudged
                          smeared
they're forever
not looked at
instead looked through
                                  do they understand
                                  they're needed?
they keep in warmth
they keep out wind
they keep in cold
they let in wind
                                                they have a purpose:
                                     to be not looked at
                                     instead looked
                                     through
maybella snow Aug 2013
is it warmer
or is it colder
1
2
3
4
5
6
                          feet
                                down?
maybella snow Aug 2013
the moon                      
personally
i like it more    
in the middle of the day                                  
where it seems to protest                                    
rebel against being the usual                                  
only light at night
no, instead                                                  
it becomes a pale disc                                            
calm in the blue sky                  
basking in sunlight                    
and viewing the world
in a brighter light
than it can create personally                                          

*a beautiful nothing,
my something
maybella snow Aug 2013
punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
                                                            the walls are just far enough apart
                                                            that i can't touch them with my arms
                                                            stretched as much as they can
i fling myself at the wall
i know they're white
i've seen them
                             so bright
i had to squint
                                                     but now
                                                i know there's a light
            i can see my hands
                      in front of my face
but it only makes the room
       a dull grey
                                          not the white it once was
               fingernails claw at the walls
                         trying to discover where
                                                          where that faint light
   is coming from
                                    i can't located it
          where's it coming from?
and why isn't it as bright
as before?                                              (..when you were here..)
                     i scream and kick
      bash walls, crash around the
once a comfortable space
                    which had now began to close in
           maybe it was just the low light
but i can't breathe
                                                    it's getting smaller
              i fight harder
where is the light?!
                        where is it?!

punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
punch kick slam fall
                               fall
                               fall
punch.
maybella snow Aug 2013
i want someone to love me back  
i want to be the only one they see
in a massive crowed                      
but                                                    
you're the only person
who saw me                  
and as sweet as it was
        as happy as i was
you're gone  
       forever
   ..love x
i still love you
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