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maybella snow Jul 2013
you were too nice today
            i'm just waiting
    for a knife
                             to be
                   embeded in my back
   the next time
         we hug
maybella snow Jul 2013
you're in pain                
you cried yourself to sleep
and woke up with tears                      
they covered your pillow
dampened your hair        
knowing this
i'm like a hummingbird on steroids
or Thumper on crack
i'm buzzing that i can't hold you      
or dry your tears
pent up energy                          
i can't get to you
my muscles shake
with the effort of not just
running to you                          
over the water                          
however i can
i need to get to you
maybella snow Jul 2013
you're disappointed with me
       i avoid your eyes
                      knowing you're seeing the flaws
  and you're disappointed
          an awkward hug is called for
"i love you"s muttered
                        i don't think we're lying
    it's just flawed truth
and disappointment
maybella snow Jul 2013
i wish i was naturally pretty                  
i wish i was naturally skinny                  
i wish i was naturally happy                  
i wish i was naturally loving                  
i wish i was naturally never frightened
i wish i was naturally smart                    
i wish i could stop wishing
                      for things that
will never come true
i wish i wasn't a dreamer                        

- i wish -
maybella snow Jul 2013
i didn't think        
i would be like this                  
sad, angry, depressed        
i'm not that bad
i still function    
- most of the time -                     but  
i didn't know    
that everyone says you're
"off the rails"                                
you'd think i'd know
i mean                                
i'm your daughter                    
i thought it might be more obvious        
if my mother was crazy                        
and that
the whole town    
is just waiting
for me to either      
go insane                        
rebel                        
or become
really depressed                        
because of her                        
it's frightening
in a small town
when they all know        
and are waiting                
for my                                
eventual
insanity
maybella snow Jul 2013
well, it's not that
     i guess i'm just so insanely
                                jealous
that they can cuddle
                 hold hands
                 put their faces close
                 and whisper
                 words of love
                 with gentle grazes
                 or adjusting postures
                 to be closer

i don't like
                 that you're too far away
                         for us to ever even hug
                                      i'd **** for a hug some days
           -most days-           not just a hug
                                                  but a hug with you
                                                                    only you
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