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Mayah Seals Jan 2015
Society tells me my size 22 hips
Are disgusting
That the hole in my lip
Is atrocious
My pointed nails, my blue hair, my black clothes
Are products of the devil
I am given freedom of religion yet, I am condemned because my Goddess is not
your God
I am poked and prodded at because my sexuality goes beyond laying with a man
In my state, I cannot marry a women because society is so entrapped in their perfect religion
How is this a fair world if I cannot be me?
As a woman, I am expected to keep my opinion to myself, bear children, and serve a husband
Yet, I am independent and creative
I thrive to make my own path
To be successful in myself and those closest to me  
To be unique and to question everything I will not conform to a society in which I cannot think for myself

I believe in what cannot be seen
Therefore, I am crazy
I work better alone; think better on my own
I keep my words in my brain because they aren't the same as everyone's
So, I am depressed
My body composition is curvaceous and *****
So I starve myself to get the body society has entitled as perfection
But, what of my body?
Do I live how I see fit?
Hiding from mirrors and cameras, covered up by the baggy clothes boys wear on a day to day basis
Or do I entomb myself in a decaying corpse to live a short life of perfection
No.
I will walk with my head held high and my skirt blowing in the wind
Because I will not conform to society's definition of perfection

I crave affection in the physical form
Therefore, I am a ****
But you don't know my back story
You do not know how my entire life I was deprived of the emotions I so desperately craved
I don't know how to feel when a feeling is all that is offered to me
So, I remain alone
Because I am not beauty in society's eye
Therefore, I am not your first choice
Even though everyone says 'do not judge a book by it's cover'
I am cast away before you get to know me
Before you know my talents, my hobbies, my aspirations in life, my goals, my struggles, the reasons behind my words
Because society has been taught to love with the eyes and not the heart
What about the pigmentation of my skin complexion?
Society automatically disregards me as a troubled teen
That I will just become another statistic of the African-American populace
But I say I won't
Because my ancestors fought and died for their freedom, therefore I should fight for my say in my life
I will not be fat-shamed
I will not be ****-shamed
I will not be black-shamed
Because I cannot and will not conform to a society in which I cannot be me
Mayah Seals Jan 2015
When I am with you
My soul is alight
My body electrified
Tu es mon autre moitié

When I am alone
I crave the feel of your skin
I hunger for the lightness of your fingers through my hair
Je ne peux pas être sans votre lumière

So, as I lie next to you
Tucked in close to your side
There is only one thing in this world I am certain of
*Mon cœur aime ton cœur
Mayah Seals Jan 2015
Remember
The summer
You abandoned me
For my best friend?
Mayah Seals Dec 2014
The taste of smoke on my lips
The way liquor cascades across my tongue
Your hands rough against my hips
As I try to feel in a body, so numb

A heart that beats for no one's love
Fighting a world so dark
Praying for help from someone above
And wishing on fallen stars

Surrounded by everyone, and no one, in turn
Using art to express why I hide
Inside, I bury the pain and the hurt
Whilst I struggle to live a trying life
Mayah Seals Dec 2014
Six hours a day
Five days a week
We laugh
And smile
And gossip
And just talk
We fangirl
We sing
We cheat
We walk
We never share those deepest of secrets
Never speak of family or friends
Yet, someone we manage to talk for five days to no end
But, outside those doors
And away from that town
We are nothing but strangers, home bound
Not a text nor a call
Not a word for days
We live our lives in very different ways
Sometimes I may cross your mind
And other times you have crossed mine
But, we never go out of the way
To give each other the time of day
So, if there is one thing I keep, once the years come to an end:
You were just an acquaintance; ne'er a friend
Mayah Seals Dec 2014
Welcome to my haven
My prison
My heaven
My hell
Welcone to my life
Mayah Seals Dec 2014
The night is around me
Surrounds me
Encompasses me in its arms
It hides me
Guides me
Holds me close to its heart

The night so defiant
So infrangible
So thrilling
It holds my head up high
Supports me
Disciplines me
It's infatuated with this heart of mine

The night so dark outside
So atramentous
So incubating
It teaches me how to be
Alluring in my eye
Unquenchable in my desire
The night, so bright, is where I aspire
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