written September 19th, 2018, and following words still ring (more true) today – exactly six years later.

The then forty fifth prez
of United States of America
best get sent packing
to Lake woebegone
forced to coexist amidst University
of Pennsylvania Dutch
men in breaches
(May Apple lie)
swampy netherlands awash
with bipedal hominid

sucker punching leeches
where within every
whirled wide webbed
nook and cranny
Nietzscheism reaches,
and survival of fittest
iz basic credo,
and dogmatic ethos,
analogous to an apprentice teaches
a most frightful distortion of facts

and make up mistruths
indiscriminately bandied about
said alarmist blatant LIES
blithely stated with dangerous clout
appearing oblivious and totally
clueless without a doubt
punctuating with doubt Thomas
pettifogging questionable details
FALSE exclamations
generating fear with mindless

ignorance exaggerating protocols
as he doth emphatically flout
begetting, engendering,
and inflicting emotional gout
nothing accomplished by
hash tagging him a "LOUT"
and more opprobrious affect
would ensue anew
undeservedly praising him,
whose animus toward

Democrats would brew
but no matter what (tick)
tack toe taken,
he got nary a blue's clue
about vital issues,
which lack of insight
even ****** Doo
would agree, heck the Americans
may as well install an emu
with more positive

forthcoming results,
cuz dis dope head like hellacious,
ludicrous, pernicious evils
in Pandora's box flew
his every actions
destroying essential glue
that sets this country apart
approximating Democracy, where hue
mans comprise melting ***,
whether Eskimos (er...

rather Inuits)  in their
(fast melting) igloo
gentile, heathen, or Jew
experience limitless
pasta billet teas
applying their new
dill (aptitude) reaching
titular status of parvenu
especially trumping proper, "P's"
and most every "Q."

Fleshed out as poetic confessional.

Profligacy prevailed pricking psyche
precipitating pandemonium.

I wrought havoc courtesy aegis
of paramours picadillos, yours truly did relish
crooning, clowning, and cavorting
around at Piccadilly Circus
located in Regent Street, Shaftesbury Avenue
Piccadilly, Covent Street and Haymarket.

Fast forward into the present
meaning Christmas day 2024.

Impossible mission to escape spectre
analogous to black barbs
blasted from BB gun
painfully punctuating
once pleasant ******* burbles.

Emotional fallout analogous
to radiation poisoning mein kampf
killing me softly with feline purring,
where I (a non believer) did lionize Lucifer.

Marriage plus father/daughter
unbridled edenic connection,
especially once unsullied paternal bond
with mine eldest
once a daddy's girl forever marred
with ineradicable mercurial malefaction
(by jove earthling linkedin to Saturnalia)
in tandem to severely dislocated
troth I did pledge
toward the missus forever
harboring faith no more
toward counterpart,
which husband
espoused devious dereliction.

Amidst frolicking holiday good cheer
ah, how I bemoan the days
before childhood's end
when days of my life
characterized by boyhood
chock-full of innocent bliss
(except for meek demeanor
sitting stock still
taking up space and time
within quaint little red school house)
as the world turned
betrayal cast dark shadow
shattering bedrock placer deposit
casting promising fidelity
to outer limits of twilight zone
once (kneeling) young miner
for a heart of gold,
ever since wife forever suspicious,
she automatically monitors online behavior,
and roundly, playfully, and nimbly lambastes
errant foolhardy guise valiantly dolled up,
and couched as innocuous platonic ruse  
bolstered by sheepish mien of mine
she never presumed rambunctious shenanigans
sundering, soldiering, and shouldering
pretence of sharing a spot of tea
until day er night of reckoning discovered
vis a vis when yours truly
brazenly, flagrantly, and licentiously
gabbed within hearing range to mistress
who dwelled in deepest darkest “Africa”
hours later returning back
to 724 West Railroad Avenue
being severely rebuked
since then schlepping self imposed shame
analogously videre licet
Atlas shouldering the world.

Whenever fleeting
will-o'-the-wisp fantasies flicker
such as a pleasant repartee
between yours truly and a pretty thang
such as recently espied
at the Thomas Paine Fellowship,
a venue I resumed attending
after a hiatus of countless years -
housing secular humanists,
an automatic rapid fire
of illicit thoughts elicited ****** propensity
spellbinding me with seduction.

I chastise my devilish doppelganger
for teasing me
(a whirling dervish
contra aery to popular belief)
with testosterone laden trysts
torturously twisting
time traveling troubadour
out of place within the twenty first century.

alternately titled: a literary retrospective when holiday times living hand to mouth in Penn Valley fraught with slim pickings and yours truly felt utterly miserable that nary a delivery from Santa Claus would be forthcoming.

Totally tubular nonfiction yup,
nevertheless I reflect
the year (arbitrarily plucked from misty past)
Santa Claus did not show up
courtesy imagination license
cruel as crippled poet panhandler
a cowboy wannabe holding on for dear life
with both feet held fast courtesy stirrup
tempted to storm of into the sunset
if misery did erupt
rattling his empty cup.

Though blink of time passed rather quick,
I still vividly recollect
midnight passed upon Christmas Eve
(circa December 24th, 2005)
with nary a ** ** ** from jolly Saint Nick,
nor sound of sleigh bells
no reindeer with packages he did not heave
omitting hurling gifts at 1148 Greentree Lane
as some cruel and nasty trick,
which prompted both progent

particularly youngest daughter did grieve
great disappointment absent merriment,
and surprises he would ordinarily flick,
whereby mystical magical tour would
burst with brilliance
like Jack Nimble's candlestick
spurred affirmation
analogous to brick
slamming into me noggin
in his presence to believe.

Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
*****, Comet, Cupid and Blitzen
ordinarily light up anticipation,
instigating ear to ear grin
(especially provoking clattering hooves)
courtesy, exponentially, and factorially
heightened expectation generated,
viz foray into dark night sky
becoming brightest visible object
creating an audible, yet pleasant din

gracefully amazing this hypothetical papa,
would ordinarily deliver merriment well nigh
accept he forgot one important stop
perhaps trouble with cloven hoofed creatures
hmm... maybe lack of of feedstock
found precious priceless lass
with downcast chin,
and teardrops falling
heavily from each eye
inducing sharp pains

within this then mister meister mom
once a year self anointed secret santa
analogous feeling skin
pierced with sharp pin
most times one generally
happy go lucky guy,
whose heavy sinking heart
professing love (mine) could not win
reverberated hollow grief
as if Cupid's paramour made of tin.

I tried with futility to assuage melancholy
when Shayna Punim
(Yiddish פּנים ponem, from Hebrew פָּנִים panim)
(endearment for pretty face),
she did melancholically ask why
her mood cast dark shadows
across edge of night
illuminating the outer limits
of the twilight zone
(evoking artificial intelligent
graphic generated augmented
computer special effect)
as webbed, wide world

within outer limits of twilight zone did spin
along axis in gulf of infinite space
with lighting speed, he would punctually fly
no explanation suitable i.e.
from Kris Kringle pinch hitter
(alias yours truly),
since no where seen heft sack
of goodies makes supreme father pitiful sight
off his pedestal like
force of gravity impossible to defy
Humpty Dumpty myth I did belie.

With my scrunched
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder
the precise circumstances
that any thing to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar

to sowing seed of corn
ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just the slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –

whether one celled entity
or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for one able to pledge marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke
of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in the distant past
rendering me absent
and hence unable to utter wow

At what crapshoot
of circumstances wrought
Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and the world wide web
or follow threads back in time
albeit not more
than a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed eastern european swath
in general finding you to rhyme
for no reason,
just as other creatures
great or small occupy
(wall street) themselves with glee
or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury
of how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monk-key
whereby harsh ill fate tempts them
into life of crime
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree

branching off way
back when back in the day
glorious personalities populated
genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere along the way
setting stage for rags
when once august ancestry
buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present
woes or even pray

to win lottery turning attention
to how like
our ancestral gingko or newt
dwelling in that rich primordial
egg drop soup wantonly
in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
on land to assay

giving rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
and this one speck of flotsam
in particular owns a passion
for square and/or contra dance
whereby others – from massive beasts
to self taught amazing evolved ants
scurry hither and yon to and fro
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
to be alive for a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance.

Preface: On the evening of April 14, 1865, while attending a special performance of the comedy, "Our American Cousin," President Abraham Lincoln was shot.

President Abraham Lincoln died approximately nine hours after being shot at Ford's Theatre. The assassination occurred on the evening of April 14, 1865, and he was pronounced dead at 7:22 am on April 15, 1865.

Curtain call -
Ford's Theater, April 15th, 1865...
Petersen House, Washington, D.C.
death prevailed across linkedin land
after bulletin screamed
out the barrel into revered occupant
seated within the state box,
the flag-draped theatre boxed booth
located in the balcony
to your right as you face the stage,
courtesy a single-shot,
.44-caliber Deringer pistol
with stony gall.

I admit to own a passion
for the Civil War in general,
and the life and death of
the sixteenth president in particular
between a hard spot of whiskey
and draughts of arrack;
nonetheless (without doubt), this Yankee
would be fain to travel back
to Antebellum America
amidst the urban din and clack
where smelting earsplitting,
choking industrialization
a deaf fin hit drawback,
and where dark shadows cast an eternal
edge of night twilight zone pallor
tubby somewhat exact
from mighty robber barons,
who tolerated no flack
(nope not even Roberta)
despite the bleeding nose against grindstone
inhumanity bearing down hard
with very little giveback
viz zit head as greenback
yes...no matter the noxious
crash course urbanization
(and attendant ghettoization)
breeding a lung wrenching tuberculosis hack,
this twenty first century middle aged
married man (an average Monterey Jack
***), whose sought after
claim to fame penchant
modestly admits to **** knack
crafting literary concoctions with no lack
of ideas, where one arose
strong as an oncoming mack
truck (this vibrant fascination
with the American Civil War
(even before Ken Burns popularized
global tragedy that affected
the webbed, wide world then and now
calamitous, iniquitous, and  
ubiquitous event) in non black
and white (digitally remastered technicolor)
exemplified, enumerated, and emphasized
how a minor dispute got way off track
whereat stately commander in chief did pack
a punch analogous sans, barreling forth
like unstoppable quarterback
despite his six foot four inch
gangly physique cull rack
tried his darnedest,
(or substitute unprintable epithet)
yet a coterie of anti war subjects
figuratively and literally up in arms
wanted nothing less to sack
the sixteenth president,
whose aged fifty seven year old countenance
one month after
Ides of March death didst dance
during the low key celebration sans,
internecine bloodbath Grants'
and Lees' armistice
one hundred and fifty seven years ago;

the peace treaty signed
(April 9th, 1865) at Appomattox,
an irrevocable agony did blow
when that fateful, mournful,
somber night at Ford's Theater
the grim reaper didst appear
(like Jim) crow king
ably linkedin with Reconstruction
after one shot rang out blasting,
where crimson tide didst flow
drowning American history
at that juncture grow
wing no less painless today, which hoo
veer ring agony didst smite
incomprehensible cleft mow
wing down unfinished ambition, which no
one other than Abraham Lincoln could sow
the racial rift, that slavery trucked in tow
generations shackled with compounded woe

that fateful April 15, 1865
at approximately 10:20 p.m
one hundred plus sixty years; it's been
long since deceased taking deadly
gunshot punctuated deadly din,
whence sixteen plus decades passed sans
conspirator tried to get even
at Ford’s theater – forever
eviscerating thin lipped grin
of the sixteenth president - still
his unrealized promising dreams with in
Reconstruction paradigm presses
historians to speculate what
what kinship his unrealized
post-bellum blueprint
while he sat in his booth,
attended a performance of the comedy
Our American Cousin that night
when a bullet entered below
the president's left ear,
bored diagonally through his brain
and stopped behind his right …
wrought him slumped over,
now tis 7 score + 20 years witnessed
assassination of Abraham Lincoln
team of rivals mastermind, re: the
American Civil War wreck con struck shin
yet…his positive affects find him
honored with outsize depictions and a con tin
hue wing legacy sustained, whereby
hearts and minds he posthumously did win.

Said enigmatic man shrouded and idolized
with beatific, democratic essence
fantastic, honorific, pacific aura, dogma,
and persona with meager off fence
to generations of United States citizens –
enthralled ladies and gents
whose reverberations and ramifications
of humane karma lives on – hence
begotten progeny enjoying freedoms
perchance ensconced with rapt innocence
or those inured with sensibility and sense
can bequeath pride without prejudice
whether living in splendour or in tents
toward Illinois railroad log splitter,
whose humble roots forged steely covenants.

No matter I kept fingers and toes crossed,
and waited with bated breath since January 2, 2025
even converted from skeptic to orthodox Judaism,
and strictly followed the Torah,
Talmud, and traditional Jewish laws,
and made good on the gamut
of my misdeeds considered a shonda,
nevertheless yours truly
courtesy the powers at large fell,
not slated to win
(til death do me part if lucky),
and thus one mediocre
poet from Perkiomen Valley
reduced to a life of panhandling,
(which required a bit of skill let
said modus operandi,
no more lofty a trade
than being a pickpocket)
essential a nobody, outcast
without a podcast, pariah, et cetera),
who plodded himself
along the boulevard of broken dreams
relegated as an American idiot,
no matter a supposed
hidden potential of smarts
attested to be placed in section 7B1
predicated on his native intelligence,
proved the naysayers right,
when nearly failing every class
while in seventh grade
at Methacton Junior High School,
and in fact got demoted to section 8B3
after getting promoted to eighth grade,
and no matter the learning material more my speed,
I vowed to swear off doing homework
and nearly witnessed
complete and utter failure as fait accompli,
but the fickle finger of fate
decreed the writer of these words
destined to weather freshman peers
(psychologically and metaphorically leagues
ahead of one poor boy figurative lost at sea)
getting promoted despite
unpreparedness and emotional unreadiness
as the winds of fate buffeted one sophomoric lad,
who beat a hasty retreat
to his bedroom at 324 Level Road
when the mental going got rough,
and thence found safety and security
playing with imaginary friends Harney and Dinny 
(themselves doppelgangers of him)
subsequently no strangers to academic rigors,
yet always buckled down when most assignments
completed in a timely fashion,
especially prompt with essay assigned
when Mister Bergey (math teacher)
asked students to write composition
why school books ought to be covered,
and said lorthew got a kick
when mine dealt with keeping property
free and clear of getting peanut butter all over,
and additional relative, innovative,
and creative whimsical humor.

Unsuccessful track record,
and a poor sport to boot
(always the last to be chosen
for team sports at recess),
I felt like just another brick in the wall
and loathed every single solitary day
riding the bus (and getting bullied)
to and from storied halls of learning
sought succor thru flights of fancy
particularly when old enough
to gamble away scant resources
allowing, enabling, and providing
fantasies found me to gambol
with illusions of grandeur
where becoming the recipient
of a truckload of monetary largesse,
hence frivolously purchasing lottery tickets
particular penchant prevalent after experiencing
a financial fiasco after getting fleeced
by godless enterprising con artists.

I frequently counted my chickens before they hatch
particularly after purchasing
PowerBall or Mega Million tickets,
which randomly drawn numbers never match
after one of two main types
of lottery-drawing machines applied,
either the former air mix machine
or the latter gravity pick machine:
Now the air mix one
blows numbered ping-pong *****
around in a chamber,
where numbers randomly selected
when they get ******
out of the chamber and displayed.

After proper manager
distributed the latest bulletin
to all the residents at Highland Manor,
plus wrinkled her nose at noxious odor
(explained at length below)
purportedly emanating from unit B44,
we (myself and the missus)
felt in our lovely bones,
an imminent inspection in the offing,
certain as Santa Ana winds blow
strong, dry, and warm
from inland desert regions
towards coastal Southern California
and northern Baja California.

The other day myself and the spouse
went to ACME
in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
and bought a truckload of broccoli,
one or more bags
started to thaw within the car
courtesy the greenhouse effect,
when bag toted inside
said package started emitting
a peculiar rank malodorous stink
as if some animal up and died,
which smell permeated the hallway
right outside the apartment door.
New restrictions put in place here
at Highland Manor Apartments
basically reflect harsh repressive measures
witnessed within and across
the manifold governments
evincing, kick/jump starting,
sporting twenty first civilizations attempt
at liberty and justice for all
violently crushed by steel booted thugs
effectively, immediately, and euphemistically
snuffing out flickering flames of freedom
by dint of force
ousting uber progressive lyft of democracies
exemplifying, justifying, stultifying a general
webbed wide world trend
toward illustration, imposition and inquisition
of nasty, short and brutish trolls
enforcing the diktat tatter ship
that might equals right
warrants a coup d'état to be fomented
even if yours truly
must step up to the plate
analogously hitting a homerun
for the boys in the hood
comprising home team,
and claim mine fifteen minutes of fame
without incurring the wrath of Kong
rather welcoming and resurrecting
personifications of SuperMan
such as that Incredible Hulk
of green day energy potential,
whose paw size mitts
can easily sweep away
the surge of totalitarianism
of Republican dominance
responsible for perpetrating
political devastation and divisiveness
courtesy Project 2025
compliment stock in trademark
second Trump dynasty
during what historians
hashtagged as global reign of terror
signalling the vestigial
end of democracy,
especially within countries
where such figurative trial balloons launched,
ushering doomsday scenario,
particularly as atomic warheads
decimated great swaths of humanity
rendering planet earth
mostly uninhabitable, inimitable, and dubitable,
not only for **** sapiens,
but countless other species.

Predicated on his paying obese sense
to Ronald McDonald patron saint
buzzfeeding his pie hole
courtesy "two Big Macs, Fillet-O-Fish
and a chocolate malted,"
he hungrily nabbed the ⁦Tuesday,
November 5, 2024⁩ election
ofttimes series of unfortunate events
found him holed up
in his Mar-a-Lago Donjon club.

After demise of western civilization
linkedin to implementation of Project 2025
courtesy the forty seventh president
of these currently fragmented United States,
left a legacy that rivaled
the fall of the Roman Empire.

Nary a trace of North American grandeur
discerned amidst the bombed out
rubble strewn landscape
after the second Civil War,
triggered global mortal kombat,
which far eclipsed
the first and second world wars
in death and destruction
(courtesy Beatle browed
foo fighting, gun toting rebel rousers,
who fomented revolution)
rent asunder many a complex edifice
symbolizing once cherished
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

Feeble hot pockets of resistance
constituting battle weary
tried and true troopers for democracy
outmatched by phalanx
of heavily armed local militia.

No matter wickedly wrought shenanigans
essentially widely accessible
Artificial Intelligence tools
allowed, enabled, and provided users
to synthesize audio in anyone’s voice,
generated photo-realistic images of anybody
doing nearly anything, and power
social media bot accounts
with near human-level conversational abilities —
and rendered on a vast scale and with a reduced
or negligible investment of money and time.

Due to the popularization of chatbots
and the search engines
they quickly became absorbed into,
also disallowed, disabled the first election season
in which large numbers of voters
routinely consumed information
that is not just curated
by Artificial Intelligence
but produced by Artificial Intelligence.

Blatantly unconcerned
about the populace at large,
nor any promises made
while he angrily stormed
across the country
stumping as dictator of the free world
after riling the madding crowds
enthusiastically populating campaign trail,
most of his waking hours spent
schmoozing with other de facto
autocrats while divvying up the *****
of annexed, subjected vassal states,
(a vast swath of territory
mainly comprising the former Soviet
breakaway Baltic states,
and about a dozen republics
under the sway of Russia),
violently yanked back in the fold
of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Within this brave new webbed, wide world
each man, woman and child
needs to fend for him/herself,
and those people flush
with ample disposable income
will pay (thru the nose,
hence the bigger the schnoz the better)
for security details unless he/she
presents an intimidating mean mien,
possesses black belt
with at least one martial arts,
or a powerful lucky charm
to ward off threatening hooligans.

Essentially lawlessness will run amuck
imagined in one guise as
the phantom of the opera nemesis
multi pronged ferocious buck
accompanied by an outsize
chicken legged stricken man,
who doth bawk and cluck
also enlisting cannibalistic
commander in chief wannabe
tricked out as Donald Duck.

Even prior to any political fracas,
I decry being dependent
(and at the mercy)
to purchase commodities
within consumerist society hierarchy,
yet envy people who live off the grid
fostering an ecologically friendly lifestyle,
versus being linkedin to Market capitalism
(an economic system where private individuals
and corporations own the means of production,

and the government has a limited role)
yet yours truly never aggressively learned how
to become self sufficient ala **** Proenneke
(him of "Alone in the Wilderness" fame -
when he retired at age 50 in 1967  
decided to build his own cabin in the wilderness
at the base of the Aleutian Peninsula,
in what is now Lake Clark National Park)
and certainly never belonged
to an Amish community,

never surviving with some degree
of independent comfort,
cuz the sole son of Harriet and Boyce Harris
overstayed his welcome
by living social under the same roof
as said mother and father,
who ofttimes delivered hollow ultimatums
to shape up or ship out –
meaning intolerance exhibited
toward their singular male offspring,

who struggled securing
and maintaining gainful employment),
hence fantasies throve
somehow magically acquiring
carpentry and farming skills
sturdy accommodations house families
where every timber secured by strong hands,
and stitch of clothing sewn courtesy adroit woman
traditional gender stereotypical roles obeyed
as if ordained by Biblical
credo, fiat, ideology, et cetera.

as his stronghold diminishes.

Signals, triggers, and ushers kickstarting debut
of demure "Flora" who slowly but surely attempts
to reveal her true colors in fits and starts,
nevertheless, she displays skittishness,
when sun kissed "Radiance"
(the closest equivalent would be Aglaea
from Greek mythology,
one of the Charites (Graces)
associated with radiant beauty and festive splendor)
dearly fawns upon her,
though as temperatures tick
(tok like a byte dance) upwards,
a preponderant panoply and splash of color
will soon highlight, predominate, and x ist
showcasing the splendiferous,
odiferous, and luminiferous latent potential
conceded courtesy mother nature "Gaia"
housing the pent up
locked energy once dormant
under the frozen terrestrial surface
emergent after celestial seasonal thaw,
which comes trumpeting
and marching when the hills alive
with the sound of music,
where in months to elapse
topiary will come to life
once nondescript hedge rows
sculpted into ornamental animal
via botanical artist wielding
pruning shears and chainsaw
carved, limned and sculpted
with wrist a cratic wrought voila uber
prestidigitation head turning
botanical picturesque Sun
kist animals at an exhibition
transformed miraculously via
Te Deum divine fist bumping,
whence realistic fauna burst
alive with an explosion
of colorful twist and shout of foliage,
where scalloped superfluous,
incredulous, and anomalous
banana rama manna for naturalist
deciduous detritus capacious
carpet boar animation punk
chew waits groundswell.

Liszt ghost would arise from the
grave to produce magnum opus
without a beat missed such
shrubbery mimicking likeness
sans glistening fleshy sin
yew, and gist about ready
to become bone a fide
(green behind ears) thriving vox populist,
per species and genus
wrought thrashing into birth
as delicate craftsman promised
to imbue life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness whittling away
leavings, thus did exist
the nascent then omnipresent visible
entity emerging from cocoon,
an herbalist metamorphosed
from the imagination
of a skilled, practiced and mentalist
conniver viz extracting
the initially obscure blessed beast,
where with august magic
wielding tools of this specialty vis
a vis bringing breathing
manifest destiny ala Pinocchio (trans
formed from wood to flesh),
whereby finest dexterous
chiseling blistering hands
baffle onlookers as coterie of
topiary harvest breathes
mind bogglingly astoundingly
authentic rooted ready
to frolic in grass menagerie,
a gamesome group of linkedin live progeny,
the Michelangelo of dirtiest canvass,
an earthen tabula rasa of sorts,
where application threshing
re: electric cool laid ahs hid
test brings out chlorophyll
doppelganger green hued key luster
incorporating a webbed, wide world
buzzfeeding with a host of organisms
avast vernal renascence
blooming forth when optimal
environmental conditions met
oblivious to whether Gregorian Calendar
indicates the start date
(about twelve weeks after
the northern hemisphere
subjected to hiemal, hibernal,
winterish, or bruma weather)
ecstatic regarding and regaling
March madness Rite of Spring,
when the sun crosses the celestial equator
in a northerly direction,
marking the prime meridian of right ascension
heralding flickering, snapchatting
and twittering Firebird Suite
witnessed amidst flora busting out all over
in all her morning glory
concurrent resultant boom
courtesy the winds of March
whooshing in newlife budding forth
dispersing seeds of life and white lily,
whereby creationists attribute
videre licet pollinators of Eden
given special dispensation, license,
and tithing with gumption
to propagate at the expense
of annihilation, discrimination,
hybridization, marginalization, sanctification,
(and exert dominion - *******
over all creatures great and small,
all things bright and beautiful, and
all things wise and wonderful,
which mandate to be fruitful and multiply)
taken to heart and bestowed,
allotted especial sanctity
to human life reproduction
dogmatic, idiomatic, osmatic
deeds categorically to beget
in obeisance to supposed sacred text
bamboozling, extolling, and foretelling gamut
of various and sundry
diverse creeds, misfit nationalities,
and tribes of man/womankind,
where taint any chance
civilization and their discontents
also known as **** sapiens will endure
raining ruination upon planet Earth,
where heirs and heiresses
temporarily obscured by
obscenely offensive musky men trumpeting
proclamation *******.

assassinated at 10:50 PM,
on December 8, 1980
forty four years later to date
outside The Dakota Apartment,
(also known as the Dakota Apartments),
located at 1 West 72nd Street
in New York City, U.S.

After Mark David Chapman
unloaded five bullets in the back
with a .38 special revolver,
that son of a gun got his quarryman
and became eligible for parole
in 2000 after serving only 20 years
since said murderer felled legend:
he pulled the trigger of his firearm
at point blank range
brutally killing the most successful
singer/songwriter in history,

(whose collaboration with Paul McCartney)
bestowed double fantasy
and rendered instant karma
echoing his oft repeated refrain
across the universe
for the benefit of Mister Kite
"All we are saying is give peace a chance,"
a lyric from the song
"Give Peace a Chance"
by the late John Lennon and Yoko Ono,
which song when released in 1969

became an anthem
for the anti-war movement,
nevertheless even after
exactly three score years
since the Fab Four,
became famous in 1964
after their appearance
on The Ed Sullivan Show,
which elapsed time
seems like yesterday
to this day tripper (me)
who happened to be
just a beastie boy.

Upon hearing in utter disbelief over the telly
On December 8, 1980,
the breaking news videre licet
regarding the ******
of John Lennon, a member of the Beatles,
outside his New York City apartment building,
I felt numb standing stock still
in the kitchen
(within childhood home of mine)
at 324 Level Road,
and nearly found myself asphyxiating
as if trapped within a yellow submarine
buried within briny deep
courtesy stone(d) temple pilot.

Yours truly stormed out of the house
analogous to a stormtrooper
heading into the thick of battle
experienced being dazed and confused
espying a Led Zeppelin
in the front yard
after getting a closer look
I quickly realized parked guests
came from an alien nation,
which immediately prompted me
to avail myself to be abducted
courtesy unidentified anomalous phenomena

bidding goodbye to father and mother
quietly pleading... dear prudence
escaping the helter skelter amidst humanity
here, there and everywhere
wistfully envisioning a utopia
like dreamers do
able, eager, ready and willing
to embark upon a magical mystery tour
this fool on the hill,
a veritable nowhere man

feeling like nobody's child
psyching myself to be free as a bird
yearning to adopt fearlessness
after froggy went a courtin
jump/kick starting
far out and groovy kismet
to become a paperback writer
renown on par with aforementioned
famous British balladeer
but before taking fateful step

into dark shadows
hiding the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
I dashed off a short note
to family and friends,
and subsequently flagged down letterman
also asking please mister postman
to inform kith and kin
NOT to summon search party,
cuz yours truly hopes to frolic
amidst strawberry fields forever.

though many men,
(especially former Norwegian
bachelor farmers from Lake Woebegone, -
but one presently wedded
to another female for not quite
thirty orbitz around Mister sun) seek a *******
compliments of Facebook (Meta) Messenger
yours truly (me - a married Neanderthal -
who just learned how
to walk ***** this morning)
does fumfer and forestall
profusely groveling
and figuratively backpedaling
when upbraided, interrogated,
and accused of spouting doublespeak
subsequently, I consider hiring a translator
courtesy my awkward
circumlocutious attempt to inthrall,
which gobbledygook more harrowing
than a maelstrom approaching landfall
orchestrated and synchronized
with the right hand man
of divine creator
( à la Matthew Scott Harris)
in tandem with countless gods/goddesses,
who mentored said oddball,
how to control meteorological phenomena
which his granted special powers
(alluded to in at least one previous poem)
if you may recall
which series of unfortunate events
only Lemony Snicket can uninstall
all said and done, he seeks
only platonic relationships
with intelligent and witty women
ideally to learn him
how to speak and write
social media platform jargon
clichéd words understood
and accepted as trite
versus his trademark
cumbersome debilitating, excruciating,
and brow furrowing endeavors
for anonymous readers
to tax their brain cells
essentially expostulations
against unspoken conformity quite,
but most of me threescore and six years
accruing non-establishmentarian, nonsectarian,
and and nonvegetarian linguistic constructs
formulated along the edge of night,
where dark shadows obscure a knight
in tarnished armor
just back from the twilight zone
pulls himself to full, albeit average height
of approximately seventy inches,
which unimpressive stature doth not excite,
but what I lack in physique
genetics compensated me
with being humble and bright
thus with sincerity I apologize
to the wife, whose husband
engaging in his ***** deeds done dirt cheap
essentially cheating by texting and sexting,
and must figuratively nip in the bud
communicating electronically
with plethora of females
(many young enough to be his daughter)
before he gets himself deep
pressed into virtual shenanigans
with veritable strangers
out to delude, hoodwink,
one aggrieved sexagenarian
and **** poor student,
whose eldest daughter not surprisingly
exhibited honor roll intelligence
qualified her for giep
and lure already finding him a heap
now after telehealth
zoom session with psychologist keep
thwarts dissolution of fidelity,
a lesson once learned years ago
contemplating reverberations
of narcissistic actions,
hence self imposed pressure
sublimated into attention
to the missus and scratching
out thoughts from nooks
and crannies of noggin leap.

the Earl of Yarmouth (William Seymour)
a descendant of very late
(to the power of Google - ha) Jane Seymour,
Henry VIII's third wife
currently in a legal battle with his parents,
the Marquess and Marchioness of Hertford,
over the family estate, Ragley Hall
located in Alcester,
Warwickshire, England, at B49 5NJ
constitutes a 17th century
Palladian stately home
set in 450 acres of parkland in Warwickshire
sued his parents for "trauma"
after NOT inheriting a 6,000 acre,
$105 million estate for his thirtieth birthday
contrary to the rule of primogeniture.

how cruel, shameless and unspeakable
unnecessary psychological suffering
ensued, imposed, and ordained
upon talking head of said heir
being royal parentage Livin' on a Prayer
(courtesy Jon Bon Jovi)
lamented being shortchanged
courtesy supposed stingy parents,
who did not even bequeath a ****** weir.

if locked out of a sizable estate
yours truly too would fight tooth and nail
(no matter I wear dentures)
against being denied patrimony
(ranking as a worse fate than death),
cue marionette strings to pull tight
and the listener to pantomime
violins to orchestrate
voiding any chance at tête-à-tête
not deeding a modest fortune
to first born male heir,
hence forcing eldest son
to hire himself (with egg on his face)
out as a yokemate.

aforementioned tidy fortune
linkedin with tragi-comic high drama
will inevitably be exhausted
courtesy bickering as countless
court - battles him
of the republic in which it stands...
(plagiarizing pledge of allegiance
for personal mutinous gain)
ensue - forcing prodigal son against father,
and holy ghost supposed
descendent of Jane Seymour,
whose spirit can host the pity party
perhaps even reviving
the court of King Crimson
subtle allusion to King Henry VIII.
yours truly a fluent bloke,
which two words forged
together to create affluent
suddenly becomes only a tabloid fodder
for and about proletarian pennsylvanian poet
fancy and fantasy of mine
truth be told being born into wealth
and unabashedly crying the blues
generates no empathy from me,
and maybe sympathy
for the devil he will evoke,
but of course archaic contractual obligations
buried deep in the webbed wide world archives
of English law will invoke
paternal obligations reminding
twenty first century sophisticates
if any questionable breech to stint
(once again stretching
the legal limits of credulity)
concerning the welfare of menfolk
such ridiculous questionable logic,
the supposed traumatized young man
will quicken others infinitesimal chance
of securing riches due to *******
whose imagination,
the Earl of Yarmouth (William Seymour)
unwittingly did stoke
and even the writer of these words woke
to fabricate being linkedin
acquiring money and predilection
of jaw dropping wealth,
which delusions and illusions of grandeur
finds me to swallow my pride,
and feel the burden of invisible yoke.

Regarding unexpected Gadshill gift
(as if delivered from Magi)
tamper proof wrapped,
thus an obligation goads me
to communicate following
trademarked™ poetically apt
reasonable rhyme capped
with feeble airborne attempt,

no matter arms waved futilely,
madly, and ridiculously flapped
fortunately I eluded being kidnapped
by men in white coats
spellbound and rapt
before arriving at 20965 Young Avenue
Bend, Oregon 97703-8461
without energy being zapped.

The abovementioned transmission to whit
hesitantly, yet immediately, wisely scuttled
cuz analogous to Icarus, a free spirit
ignoring Daedalus warning soaring
too close to the sun
earning stronger epithet than "you nit"

true to adolescent hubris,
the son blithely ignoring
his father as a hypocrite,
but honest to goodness truthfulness
of above line entails
caution and discretion I readily admit.

Just now, I sample
Navitas Organics blueberry
hemp power snack(s)
wondering how many chewy squares
yours truly needs to consume
before me noggin
goes wickety wickety wack,

but... just maybe amply ingested
cubed plant based superfood
could allow, enable and
provide me means to take flight,
whereby off gray carpeted tarmac
goes Matthew Scott Harris.

So best be on the lookout okey doke
for one nondescript buzzfeeding bloke
long haired pencil necked geek fella,
who juiced awoke
and suddenly found himself at Trader Joe's
(with a twenty dollar gift card)
among garden variety generic folk
such as special people spanning Costco calendar,

who sport and trumpet surnames such as
Dunning, Harris, McGeehan no joke,
yet amidst madding crowd there could be
spy versus spy donning dagger and cloak.
anyway hoop fully thee above laughter did evoke,
perhaps e'en yar own literary juices
I didst unwittingly stoke.

lurks within the outer limits of cyberspace,
where dark shadows eclipse edge of night
indistinguishable from the twilight zone.

Within the Internet binary size weavers loom
shuttlecock whizzes (analogous to a bad mitten)
at speed of greased lightning warp speed
weaving courtesy electronic webbed wide world
snaring and snagging
poor schlemiel or schlimazel,
videlicet snazzy convincing culprit,
who gets figuratively sucker punched
courtesy malevolent scoundrels
(devoid of moral scruples)
to mimic legitimacy
subsequently scam without misgivings
(but exude untrammeled glee)
preying upon vulnerable particular populations
such as the elderly and infirm.

Victim services of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
helped me recoup one hundred Benjamins,
whereas gofundme page
(I jimmied up for myself)
wrought nary a handy dandy blues clues
restitution, and passage of time
failed to help me shake off loss
financial windfall garnered
from shifty eyed weasley wiseacres,
who managed to usurp without a hitch
manifold times more than a ***** dozen
designated dollar denomination
with President Grover Cleveland's face

and yours truly (me) continues to chide himself
for significant sucker punches
to solar plexus of mine
still smarting when analogous hackers
tricked the writer of these words
into zombified, hypnotized, bamboozled...
approximately seventeen plus months ago
when venal hucksters
hacked into Macbook Pro laptop,
an older model before purchasing current
MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015)
and left absolute zero trace of their whereabouts
a fly by night scampering posse if thieves.

I think back to that diabolical
hectoring kafkaesque purgatory,
and replay the mental tape
before yours truly (me)
blindsided (even while wearing eyeglasses
that offered 20/20 insight),
nevertheless acting as if controlled remotely

behavior of mine at the mercy of one
who called himself Harvey Specter
(invariably he touted other pseudonyms
to avoid identification)
while he coached one after another
of his brainwashed subject
cursed like an automaton.

Argh! I decry being a "Dummkopf"
and stupidly followed gentle commands
to drive to the nearest ATM,
(which happens to be an MP gas station
located at 125 Gravel Pike,
Collegeville, PA 19426),
wherein I converted nearly
every last red cent
from Citizens Bank accounts
into  a kind of digital payment,
or cryptocurrency namely;

Bitcoin (the first decentralized cryptocurrency.

Nodes in the peer-to-peer bitcoin network verify transactions through cryptography and record them in a public distributed ledger, called a blockchain, without central oversight.

Consensus between nodes is achieved using a computationally intensive process based on proof of work, called mining, that secures the bitcoin blockchain. Mining consumes large quantities of electricity and has been criticized for its environmental impact.

After buzzfeeding
one large denominational bill after another
into the maw of the mute cash
banking my virtual wallet
also known as a digital wallet
bulged at the seams,
which constitutes software-based system
that stores payment information and allows users
to make purchases without physical cards or cash)
signed, sealed and delivered
to aforementioned scoundrel.

Nest egg of mine
(mostly lifetime monetary accumulation
of birthday or holiday gifts
scrupulously saved for dotage
of me and the missus)
mere chump change
of a crack (drug) dealer,
but never enough remaining years,
thus mein kampf forever
an impossible mission
to feel free and clear of penury,
cuz social security disability the saving grace
allowing, enabling and providing
fiscal ways and means
to avoid being homeless.

Therefore karma caught up to me big time
and delivered yours truly sent to purgatory
(figurative speaking) by casting a spell,
whereby the government issued Safelink
Tracfone got permanently disabled
and all the data
(including contact information
such as risqué photographs
of seductively posing nymphs
linkedin to Facebook Messenger)
stored therein forever inaccessible.

I did not pass GO,
nor collect two hundred dollars
but went straight to spiritual jail
after being warned countless times
(particularly courtesy the wife),
that husband of hers would pay
for texting and sexting with females
young enough to be his daughter.

No matter infrequently did I divulge
and/or countenance communicating
to females thru Facebook Messenger,
those few honest confessions found
the wife brushing her index finger of
dominant hand against index finger
of recessive hand uttering tsk tsk tsk...

Upon speaking over an alternate cell phone
to a Safelink representative, I got told
that NO replacement
for model Samsung Galaxy J3 Orbit -
the type I got sent a couple years ago -
NOT feasible because
the warrant time frame elapsed.

Aforesaid accursed misfortune of mine
would without a shadow of a doubt
(unlike the shadow
of Punxsutawney Phil
on February second
id est Groundhog day)
find the wife gleeful,
but (praised be dog),
I never admitted culpability
secretly painstakingly keying
unfulfilled romantic whims
inadvertently sabotaged
throughout those precious years
of puberty to emerging adulthood.

Quite frankly, I felt relieved
above mentioned cell phone got zapped
because after sharing preliminary questions
(more so about me
versus other communicant
on receiving end
telling nothing about herself -
with the exception of asking for money) -
an intimation clearly broached
to strategize about a rendezvous
with each other, no matter
original primary intent of mine
merely to plumb the depths
of a platonic relationship.

Lucky destiny intervened
in a timely fashion because
about a dozen
(***** deeds done dirt cheap)
years ago the writer of these words
met acrimonious, combustious, egregious,...
malicious, and opprobrious fallout
awakening our then two tween-age daughters
forever experiencing sundered dynamic
when he (their birth father)
nonchalantly drove home
from West Philadelphia
after visiting a woman of color
returning back to the then dwelling
at 724 West Railroad Avenue
in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania)
after the bewitching hour.

The sh*t hit the fan
and the spouse
analogous to a kamikaze pilot
zeroed in and drove brickbats
upon behavior of mine, appalling and base
and around the Mulberry bush did she chase
the monkey chased the weasel,
until she caught and verbally throttled
he who betrayed covenant vouchsafed
making a mockery of vows
with amazing disgrace
a major faux pas I can never erase
forever envisioning culprit
standing stockstill totally shamed
while she spewed
venomous bile back in my face.

The long story short,
she (the wife not ordinarily
a forgiving person)
did accept her
(once revered knight in shining armor),
yet never lost an opportunity
to hurl blackened barbs
as a subtle reminder to steer free and clear
of verboten fruit,
and as passive retribution
against further secrete liaisons  
I took a silent vow to be chaste.

Though more difficult
to thread a camel thru the eye of a needle
which creature invites one definition of ****,
now overactive imagination of mine
presents sexually evocative disjointed poem
crafted some years in the past
which following example
many or most readers would claim
adds injury to insult,
nevertheless fantasy appeases animal
call of the wild
to envision whim to attain foreplay,
and subsequent gambol
elicits sought after outcome
after fruit of the **** linkedin
to nurse ******* penult.

Mebbe thru da world wide web
dis Yahoo of a Verizon hotmail lives
earth linked lad kin wed
this aol (owl) lush
former Norwegian bachelor    
turning his married charade role alot
boot strong quaking testosterone
sans axon and neuron surges
thru this protoplasmic blot
closely resembles malignant blood clot
although just an infinitesimal dot
in cosmic skein since big bang hot
that birthed our universe
from microcosmic jot
best in webbed wide world
event in the cosmos
since invention of white bread -
gives empty calories a lot
soak up syrup
from chicken soup in a ***
followed and/or proceeded
by yar sweet kumquat
ex are size zing ma little **** tate tour
afore atrophy doth bring ****** rot
strongly suggested by this tartan
non-tweed wearing scott
who seeketh mare ring type woman
hoofing to trot
******* without shrieking WHAT!

The usual routine
t'will most likely
find me fantasizing
while this knight lies at night in bed
gets me little pawn feisty cred
with celibate life I dread
wonder if this smallish bore ring shaft
with smallish helmet head
will go sliding and slipping
like on well lubricated sled
and experience once again
when genital yar ***** will wed.

Matthew Scott (a mwm)
can hard lee await
to let each of us master bate
the other per ****** to create
as the first of many a date
whereby his ***** ***** will *******
into fecund field of whet dreams
*** with ongoing joyful fate
p'raps as friends, lovers
or e'en a temporary ****** mate.

although nada mooch bigger
than a cereal box toy
if ya wanna romp
with ma male member -
an imp for carnal ploy
which ******* would give me joy
to drop me drawers lay anchor ahoy
perhaps with a phone number
for this gentile goy
who enjoys foreplay
playing being faux coy
no matter this mortal happens
to be a sixty + six year
young looking boy,
who would love
to lay his little leaping lemur  
till anchor drops softly
in your mossy cove
and heart softly murmurs.

froom - Scott Matthews
a bar **** froom  perky yo' man
hoops poetic ant ticks woos
and alight with desire froom heads to toes
middle man appurtenance elongates
like a little ******
after a successful day
gone fishing he glows.

formerly an abandoned Amazon warehouse went to ***
with mold and magic mushrooms growing in every spot.

All kinds of vermin stole into the damp dark environment
of particular note concerned medium-sized rodents who
belonged to order Rodentia who chomped down illegal
contrabands, and quite a sizable portion went into their
bellies, which merited noteworthy attention and possibly
explained the horde deal videre licet witnessed courtesy
specially trained swat team donned with protective wear

enticing critters with tasty morsels to offset their munchies
to coordinate, facilitate, & initiate massive effort deporting
said disease (on magnitude of Megadeth) carrying heavy
doses of mind oriented substances namely hallucinogens
contributing to erratic violent behavior triggering a bulletin
calling upon military industrial complex with costly & risky
business to sedate multitude of pesky creatures known to
carry a variety of diseases that can easily be transmitted 
to humans.

Bacterial infections:

Leptospirosis: A bacterial infection known to cause fever,
muscle aches, and kidney damage.

Plague: A serious bacterial infection that can cause swollen
lymph nodes, fever, & death potentially reducing population

allowing, enabling and providing breathing room for mother
earth harboring disgust toward **** sapiens in general &
those antagonistic, capitalistic, egoistic, pugilistic, racialistic,
terroristic, and vandalistic for starters.

Salmonellosis: A bacterial infection that causes food poisoning.

Rat-bite fever: A bacterial infection that causes fever, muscle
aches, and a rash.

Viral infections:

Hantavirus: A viral infection that can cause respiratory illness,
including hantavirus pulmonary syndrome.

Hepatitis C: A viral infection that can cause liver damage.

Parasitic infections:

Toxoplasmosis: A parasitic infection that can cause fever, muscle
aches, and brain inflammation.

Tapeworms: Parasitic worms that can live in the intestines of rats
and humans.

Rats can also carry fleas, ticks, and other parasites that can
transmit diseases, such as Lyme disease and encephalitis.

Thus no mean feat - easier to thread a camel thru eye of a needle
than to eradicate a horde of rats which typically called a "mischief"
due to their reputation for causing trouble and being mischievous;
so, a large group of rats would be referred to as a "mischief of rats."

Never in the annals of avaricious, capricious, edacious, lubricious,
nonconscious, predacious, rapacious, et cetera whistle blowing
trumpeting rats fitted with microchips to secure classified information
concerning top secret government snooping (courtesy Project 2025)
hoping the buyers and sellers among drug syndicates within webbed
wide world did the troopers undertaking impossible mission to combat
suspicious tricked out and 3d printed artificial intelligent vermin Rattus
to cash a veritable cache of drugs ingested when their bodies sliced open.

to tickle your fancy dear reader rabbit,
perchance European G-man double agent
regarding the following poem
with kick a$$, je ne sais quois
ingenious, humorous bent
even though reasonable rhyme
mebbe worth no mo' than ten cent
doth quickly make descent
from ridiculous to sublime

and/or visa versa poetic event
trademark courtesy one
sexagenarian formerly fervent
nonestablishmentarian
long haired pencil necked
geeky, dorky, and nerdy
January born quirky,
Yankee doodling gent.

Anyway, as usual I blog alone
(today January 25th, 2025)
while this Poe whit carries a wish bone
but, tis just me and my future self as a crone
that amble along the boulevard,
while over head buzzes a sir valence drone
blares out an air/ear splitting command
courtesy shift shaping mega fone
which induces my quietude to groan
and find an escape to hone
salvation espied by mirage

sans a balmy isotone
echoing refrains from Joan
E Mitchell, a great Danish dame
panhandling for ample *krone
so she not forced
to borrow money from a loan
where her former renown
a distant memory, she doth moan
as if attacked by a shark,
who resembles Jimmy Neutron

alias Matthew Scott Harris, who as soon
as he dubbed pipsqueak
that gave him greenlight
to trumpet as firebrand
nonestablishmentarian prone
gives a electronic shout out
to Louise Quattrone yours truly
doth remember a “big sister”
assigned to eldest daughter of mine
scads of years ago

which mismatch recollected just now
while engaged in a impossible mission
to stake out a quone,
while sheepishly at bay astride to the rite,
a beast of burden wearing
horn rimmed glasses tinted qua *roan
cuz the blinding light shone
into the outer limits
from azure vault -
a dark shadows rogues

veritable night gallery
over a sinister tombstone
four after midnight emanating
on an eerie, freaky Friday
the thirteenth accompanied courtesy
frightful monster tone
scaring living daylights
out the skin of yours truly,
who found himself parent trap
accentuating, illuminating, undulating
the outer limits of twilight zone.

a$$ star risked words valid
first to last defined below
based on the merits of google:

I hate to burden thee with confusing starry eyed confusion, but each cardinal numbers of asterisk corresponds to a brief description.
1.an old woman thin and ugly
nevertheless all pretty things, she does oogle.
2. any of two or more species of atoms
or nuclei with same number of neutrons
3. basic monetary unit of Denmark and Norway,
equal to 100 øre.
4. watch "The Stakeout" episode
of television series "Seinfeld."
5. denoting an animal,
especially a horse or cow,
their coat of a main color
thickly interspersed with hairs
of another color,
typically bay, chestnut,
or black mixed with white.

I considered myself sophisticated and wise,
but the addictive power of texting
and subsequently sexting
took me by surprise,
and impossible mission to neutralize
despite experiencing scraping rock bottom
as emotional lows courtesy accusations
from the alewife, nevertheless
communication, envisioning, and flirting
with a veritable unknown females
generates testosterone filled highs
diatribes hurled lambasting me
despite trying to articulate
faux convincing alibis.

As a recent newbie to accessing
Facebook (Meta) Messenger
(similar to any other social media platform)
one offered feature
constitutes Friend request option,
which function when answered
in the affirmative
courtesy the recipient
activates modus operandi
and implied netiquette,
where veritable strangers
lost in cyberspace
immediately finds him/herself linkedin to
plethora of potential physical entanglements
with members of the same
or opposite genders
leaving little or no opportunities
for platonic friendship
the somewhat limited
level of familiarity yours truly seeks,
apropos to a married former agrarian
Norwegian bachelor farmer,
barbarian, communitarian, disestablishmentarian,
equalitarian, grammarian, latitudinarian,
nonvegetarian, sexagenarian, utilitarian,
Unitarian, and non Aryan.
Though just a run of mill (by the pond)
generic guy with negligible qualities to boast
before long, I found myself
without absolute zero self discipline
to cease reciprocating with unknown
from across the webbed wide world,
and excitement coursed
thru every pore of mine
for adventure found me blithely engrossed
as these not
so nimble butter fingers
analogous to that sensation,
when betting on when my ship comes in
(ideally laden with riches)
after traveling the seven seas
for numerous orbitz around the sun
(escaping countless mutinous crisis
linkedin with humorous,
pirate, or vaccination conspiracies aye
unable to avoid an impost
courtesy Trump economics,
which favors the one percent
and impinges those people dirt poor
(like yours truly)
bumping uglies along the nethermost
at risk for becoming indigent
reduced to eat burnt offerings
vis a vis rotten stale toast.

If perchance ye dear unknown reader
espy a scruffy Unitarian, sexagenarian
reincarnated Union soldier to boot
donning dark blue wool uniform
consisting of a "sack coat" (jacket),
blue wool trousers, a forage cap
(hat with a leather visor),
and leather brogan shoes
but currently spends
his senior citizen days
as a present day panhandling chap,
who makes sounds courtesy his glute
after living on beans
cue Blazing Saddles,
with a cheeky bit part
yours truly starred
where stage got set at Moyer's dump
ofttimes declared a superfund site
for air he did pollute.

for Mutualism among **** sapiens
long thought to be a pipe dream
case in point sited by a couple of recent
purportedly natural events possibly
exacerbated courtesy global warming
namely present conflagrations
include veritable towering inferno -
(sharing merest premise
with Hollywood film by the same name,
the highest-grossing
Classic 1970s disaster movie
about a fire that breaks out
in a state-of-the-art San Francisco
high-rise building
during the opening ceremony
attended by a host of A-list guests:
An overworked fire chief
(charging full force like Minnesota Vikings -
or feel free to substitute your own football team)
and the building's architect must cooperate
in the struggle to save lives and subdue panic
while a corrupt, cost-cutting contractor
tries to evade responsibility for the disaster
helped establish the modern blockbuster)
dwarfed by devastating southern California,
or the impacts from Hurricanes Helene
and Milton both particularly destructive,
causing more than $100 billion
in combined damage across
Florida, Georgia, South Carolina,
North Carolina, Tennessee,
and Virginia over a two-week period
from late-September into early October),
where trials by fire and water respectively
witnessed linkedin collective effort
that spread kudzu like
attempted delivering relief,
no matter Federal disaster workers
paused and then changed some
of their hurricane-recovery efforts
in North Carolina, including abandoning
door-to-door visits, after receiving threats
that they could be targeted
by a militia, officials said,
as the government response
to Helene targeted
by runaway disinformation.

Impossible mission to duplicate
or even barely approximate
wrenching cataclysms wrought by mother nature,
no matter death defying scenes
movies present quite realistic,
especially seen on the big screen
incorporating surround sound,
where more or less clear cut
protagonists and antagonists
confront each other,
whereby the former
(more times that not
in that make believe world)
where actors and actresses
present convincing drama)
and win the day
quite unlike reality,
when havoc ferociously strikes
indiscriminately rich or poor alike.
I always marvel at the surge
of voluntary brother and sisterhood
(personhood generally) that encompasses
(or follows) a figurative groundswell,
(particularly when the phenomenon in question
constitutes a natural event
say aftermath of meteorological storm in question,
namely a tsunami)
pitting dearth of humanitarian intervention,
where terrorist act and violent crimes
grist for the tabloid or social media mill
give the impression that **** sapiens'
pith and marrow chock full of
animalistic, atavistic, cannibalistic,
fascistic, hedonistic,
misogynistic, et cetera predilections,
thus believing challenging
the bedrock belief in inherent goodness
of man/woman kind
as the exception rather than the rule
and proving the potential exists,
whereby idealistic opportunistic government
(of the people by the people
for the people shall not perish from the earth”
spoken at Gettysburg),
but these words apply as well
to the countless soldiers that died
for the cause of democracy
in the following 160 years,
yet not just highlighting slain combatants
also extending by proxy
to vicious acts of homicide,
physical ****** abuse,
plus verbal castigation
as experienced by the writer of these words
(ofttimes in his younger days
deemed, hashtagged, peppered, targeted,
et cetera as ideal scapegoat)
pummeled courtesy nasty, short and brutish louts,
who heaved, lobbed, threatened,
et cetera me with expletive laced brickbats,
where bullies evinced sympathy for the devil.

Yours truly (me)
just an ordinary primate from the human zoo,
who while ambling along
the boulevard of broken dreams on a Green Day
(just me and my shadow)
I experienced unexpected lionizing flattery
courtesy Pink Floyd,
he went ape and shouted "hey you"
out there in the cold
getting lonely, getting old
but honest to dog,
I took the road less traveled
unexpectedly encountering
fire breathing creatures
imagine dragons puffing
at these lovely bones
that constitute a generic guy,
a madding crowd qua at least one
with multiple talking heads
quite frightful harried styled beastly yahoo
primitive creature obsessed with "pretty stones"
popularized by Jonathan Swift
in the fourth section of Gulliver's Travels
trying their damndest to woo
yours truly, an aging baby boomer
and long haired styled pencil necked geek
he/him even extended
an invitation to their next venue
to frolic in the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee,
hence methought to spruce myself up
to undergo a major makeover
courtesy Salon Nova beauty technician,
and in one fell swoop
off went approximately a dozen inches
of mine lovely brunette locks of love
(tinged with natural gray),
and upon getting
to the house at Pooh Corner
I swiftly tailored mine appearance
showering and sudsing hair
with aforementioned product
(videre licet title of poem)
suddenly unconditionally loving
the new Matthew Scott Harris
immediately accepting an awesome
handsome kickass transformation
awash with true value,
especially after liberally appling
Eco Style Olive Oil Styling Gel
with damp hands quite a challenge,
but cap I did  eventually unscrew
ready to rock and roll with the Monkeys
(with other artists... Guess Who)
at a rave in Timbuktu,
whereat paparazzi snapped pictures
asking me to stand still as a statue
unexpectedly espying my likeness
in the next issue
of classy fashion magazine
nothing but accolades
with stunning photographs
populated the Harris review.

plus I batten down the itty bitty hatches
courtesy Avast Random Password Generator,
and keep track of alphanumeric
near impossible to crack passwords
incorporating a special symbol
such as exclamation point
painstakingly recording passwords
courtesy OpenOffice document.

a couple of instances experiencing
getting the MacBook Pro hacked
linkedin to vulnerable
and susceptible access to my computer
learned me to bolster
and heavily defend
against cyber intruders
by additionally purchasing applications
such as MacKeeper
and Safe Central for Aol
the former program
manually and daily executed,
while the latter program
automatically activated at startup
soon after I turn on the computer.

generally speaking
ever since purchasing my first Macbook
close on the heels of fifteen years ago,
I pride Apple on their craftsmanship
even if their trademarked products
assembled courtesy automation,
which state of the art production facility
primarily manufactured overseas
according to a February 10, 2025 Google search,
whereby according to a new supply chain report,
Apple is reportedly
shifting its production strategy
by scaling back its plans to expand MacBook
manufacturing in Vietnam
while placing greater emphasis on India.

as a long time devotee
for a company
approaching fiftieth anniversary
since being incorporated
as Apple Computer, Incorporated
on January 3, 1977,
without doubt, I intend
to make my next purchases
(for the rest of my life)
a laptop computer
branded, minted, and stamped
with globally recognized
trustworthy iconic Apple logo,
a bitten apple, grew out of an idea
initially presented in 1976,
when Ronald Wayne,
one of Apple's co-founders,
designed a logo featuring Isaac Newton
sitting under an apple tree.

This logo depicted the famous scientist
and his discovery of gravity.

However, Steve Jobs wasn't satisfied
and sought a simpler, more modern logo.

In 1977, Rob Janoff, a graphic designer,
created the current bitten apple logo,
which got introduced
with the Apple II computer.

Unbeknownst to me,
then (upon advent of my debut)
or now as a threescore
and six year old contemplative,
intuitive, and ruminative
smart 1959 Caucasian diminutive model
prone to daydream
and dawdle as I waddle
like the chipper robot I am,
a helpmate for persons
taking a major exam
crafting a monologue for an imam,
and subsequently sending
said valorized, optimized,
italicized, and digitized communiqué
to above holy Muslim leader,
especially one succeeding Muhammad
as leader of Shiite Islam
also I got (the whole
webbed wide world
in my bionic hands) designed created
and equipped with buzzfeeding
and distributing blueprints
for 3D printing housing accommodations
to safeguard devout followers
from elements of nature
within a tricked out ashram
with latest sophisticated
telecommunications potential.

Basking in a supine position
with eyes wide shut
while the space heater churns out
fast moving molecules of heat
solitudinarian drowsy thinker fêted
by miniature fantasy
of tropical island paradise
accompanying and populating slumber
courtesy flickering, mesmerizing,
undulating barenaked native nymphs

tricked out as miniscule floaters
drifting across field of vision
striking atavistic memories,
where yours truly revels
within toasty warm bedroom
succumbing into deep sleep
resurrecting dormant primal hallucinations
redolent of Neanderthal forebears,
who huddled around the hearth
lo and behold discovery

evident after eldest sister of Harris tribe,
videre licet raw bits of genetic material
submitted saliva specimen
to 23andMe
since shut down by the FDA
because of the said
company's aggressive marketing
and refusal to resolve
outstanding data issues.

Impossible mission to stay awake
and fend off feeling sleepy
analogous to being drugged
not even long enough
to attend a yawning festival,
thus once upon a time
approximately half life
of Matthew Harris ago
indefatigable body of mine
weathered blistering fatigue
with endurance to dance the night away,
where lively contra dance music
played onstage and participants
tirelessly whooped up with energetic glee
experienced the equivalent headiness
linkedin with physical *******.

Now as a sexagenarian to boot,
who recently underwent a makeover
former trademark characteristic
of baby boomer no longer sports
talking head being hirsute
subsequently analogous to Samson
powerfulness of body,
no greater than a newt
while I lay me down to sleep
cerebral cogs and wheels troubleshoot
envisioning yours truly (me)
reincarnated donning myself

wearing a broad-shouldered drape jacket,
balloon-leg trousers,
and, sometimes, a flamboyant hat
decked out sporting,
what came to be recognized as zoot suit
generally worn by the following:
white Americans, police officers,
and U.S. Soldiers, the suits
became a symbol of excess,
anti-patriotism, and
anti-American sentiment,
as well as gang affiliation.

I get tired of being tired
hence ask the missus to make high test coffee,
which jolt of caffeine finds me wired
but back in the day
I acquired a gold card
patronizing General Nutrition Center
and bought one product in particular,
which affected me with outcome I desired.

And thus I crafted sub verse,
whereby yours truly conceives
poem titled Guarana Mo by Jeeves.

Most of the following (fictitious)
quintessential balderdash
ranks as sorry excuse for originality, writ
nevertheless mishmash qualifies
according to humble opinion of mine
reasonable rhyme for mediocrity,
benignly, essentially, and honestly to wit
to test skill at heart felt fabrication like me,
thus exempting bing considered, judged,

and labeled tubby unfit
wall henna burst of
playful tulles toy warren peace,
bawling contrived sketched
piddling potchking pusillanimous
Monty Python's Flying Circus twit,
this once upon a time pablum child,
aye practically spit
out (from inxs of carrot juice),

now dost daringly be hove
brave reeder to comprehend
as great literary endeavor
by this hare reed rabbit,
head, (non adult tryst) pit,
nor posthumous fame, worm ma obit
chew wary verbosely probably re:nouns,
abominable attempt as Unitarian
worthy reading material

so great English lit,
and moost unlikely tuff hind,
nor e'en garner this hare reed
ole Union Jack of a one hit
wonder poetic laureate,
nonetheless this (o'
waa hare did me bunny go),
perhaps to Britain endeavoring merely
to join United Kingdom.

Now let yours truly whoop
focus to address main intent,
(sans for quick pick me up)
and nary drop of coffee,
nope not even one molecule
to fill thimbleful sized cup
I reach for bottle of Guarana,
(one serving of
coffee per capsule)

fo' this aging pup,
who attests that caffeine
(liquid and/or
encapsulated), the sole vice
(except for barbiturates, *******,
"FAKE" opioid, et cetera),
which overdose nearly found me
nearly a grateful dead – thrice
occasions, where circumstances

of mouse self
(Stuart Little reincarnate -
with an insatiable craving for cheese
laced with Guarana, Paullinia cupana,
a climbing plant in the maple family),
which bean sized seeds
affordable at an acceptable price
many times larger than puffed rice.

only just began early today
November 6th, 2024,
when my eyes frightfully espied
glaring headlines bespoke horror
conjured, portended and yielded
worse fate than being gratefully dead
after the polls tallied up the votes
beaming none other than
pudgy hugely crass blimp
as the forty seventh president
of the United States of America.

Before delving into worse case scenario
regarding the candidate,
who clinched the nomination
as commander in chief
with special thanks to Elon Musk
(despite being an engineering genius)
for amply funded inimical,
maniacal, and radical
antithetical, egotistical, and heretical
verbal incursion, and character assassination

videre licet concerning democratic opponent
boosting drek fueling horrible jibes,
no surprise after the got ballots counted
decreeing the overstuffed ego freezer
who will now occupy the White House
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW,
Washington, DC 20500,
subsequently, I posit thee
with a very obvious rhetorical question.

Members of the House and Senate
met in the House Chamber to conduct
the official count of electoral votes.

The Vice President of the United States,
as President of the Senate, presided
over the count in a strictly ministerial manner
and announces the results of the vote.

Now after imp of the pervert
amassed 270 electoral votes
and declared the avowed winner
while he blissfully gobbled
his favorite meal
consisting of Two Big Macs,
Two Fillet-o-Fish sandwiches,
a large Fry and a diet Coke
courtesy being heavy duty patron
and keeping McDonald's patriarchal
company financially afloat
Now dear reader, you ought to be
able, eager, ready, and willing
to participate in an after the fact
easy to answer guessing game?

Here goes.

Who can legitimately flaunt the law...
and get away with ****** scot-free?

Only someone christened
Donald John Trump
the 45th President of the United States:
he escaped being (even minimally)
penalized of countless crimes:
any other American would be prosecuted
found guilty, and subsequently sentenced
(courtesy strong arm of the law
witnessing guilty party
and his merry
contra band of accomplices
dealt harsh consequences)
to years of hard labor.

As a law abiding citizen,
I decry how legally nomenclatured,
qualified, schooled, and trained professionals
handled him with kid gloves
as if he happened to be the Messiah.

Analogous to some rabid animal,
the mean mien pitbull
disposition of Donald Trump
witnesses him foaming at the mouth
during his barnstorming, campaigning,
doxing, et cetera vituperation.

The next four long years
will witness wrecking ball
obliterating the foundations
constituting complex edifice
housing sacred tracts
fundamental documented blueprints
linkedin with ancillary trappings
servicing nasty and brutish gall
with pride and prejudice
exhibiting absolute zero
gentlemanly sense and sensibility.

yours truly (me) could not help but notice
while living social at various residences  
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the following described phenomena
actually observed quite some time ago
maybe back during
my carefree boyhood days of yore
that the uncontrollable spurt
analogous to a golden arch
of micturition arcing
toward parts unknown
(frequently missing the target altogether,

and wetting the seat
subsequently displeasing the next person
more often than not the missus,
who sits upon wet porcelain goddess)
initially issuing from out
my diminutive male member,
(even when fully *****,
no longer than
a small walking stick
for a lucky leprechaun),
when said jet stream
makes splashy contact

affecting fountainhead into pissoir,
whereby a bathroom
tchotchke of Atlas shrugged,
which non verbal reaction spoke volumes,
the direction water got flushed within *****
subsequently clearly described
a clockwise pattern
whooshing within the labyrinth
eventually getting routed
to wastewater treatment plant
at least here within the bowels
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually even after flushing,
or using the sink to wash hands,
the water also drained
mimicking rotation of second
or minute hands of analog time pieces.

After finding myself
flush with excitement
presuming I discovered
some great earth shaking revelation,
a Google search quickly
and immediately chastened
premature ******* of excitement
that yours truly stumbled
upon magnificent phenomena
and matter of factly explained
the direction a toilet flushes,
whether clockwise or counterclockwise,

primarily determined
by the design of the toilet bowl
and the water jet's direction,
not by the Earth's rotation
(Coriolis force), which often mistakenly
believed to be the cause;
meaning the flush direction
can vary even within the same hemisphere
due to different toilet designs,
not necessarily consistent
with the "clockwise
in the Northern Hemisphere" myth.

Though negligible communication
now transpires between us
twenty seven years ago
come February fourth,
two thousand and twenty five,
our lives (affecting yours truly
and that of mother, plus Eden
a caring older sister)
irrevocably changed for the better,
when thee came into our world
as a bundle of joy
courtesy those who helped beget thee,
(then albeit skinny lovely bones)
over the course of years
witnessed an attractive gal
with meaty legs
versus spindleshanks of mine,
the laughingstock of humanity.

Blessed intervention predicated
on congenital developmental delay,
the unknowable outcome
figuratively rollicking and rolling in the hay,
nevertheless upon mine conscience
shortfall of breached
marital accountability doth lay
videre licet I as derelict
couched pseudonym regarding Casanova role
as illicit philanderer father
countless years gone elapsed already,
when during your oblivious
raging (with ear splitting screams)
against the human machine
constituting one frustrated little girl,
(which good and plenty intervention provided),
nevertheless being saddled with lions share
coordinating much sought after
and needed professional care
found me at my wits end
to provide healthy mental,
physical and spiritual
environment for offspring,
the piper forever I must pay
displeased with flagrant behavior
haunts me even today
psyche of mine cleaved,
though impossible mission
to discern said indiscretion
never visible courtesy the most powerful X-ray.

We (mother and I) lament
your earlier emotionally, financially,
and spiritually tortured existence
despite best intentions
to seek out countless supportive services
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
indirectly implicating the papa
more so than the mama
regarding inadvertent deprivation
of your healthy support
for proper development
of mental, physical and spiritual well being.

Still hollow words wrench
cleaving pierces psyche
my beautiful daughter
finding her sea legs, and break
king away from papa,
now bobbing along to make
riding meandering time stream
with strong-armed emotions,
clasps hold of faith
and Zarathushtra thus spake
matured years of teenage existence
awoke realm of opportunity,
an expanse to acquire experiential knowledge,
which scary risk taking,
this papa can proudly cheer
stretches per recent
days and weeks of four seasons
father time exceeding
safe mode for operating gear
metaphorical chronological mechanism
in league with grim reaper who doth leer,
as days stealthily creep silently as cats paws
along the outer limits of the twilight zone
adjacent to edge of night
dark shadows stealing another day
no plying brakes to stop unseen gizmo,
and only power to foray
backward to real or imagined
drag 'gin moments of nostalgia
seductive like the fragrance of fresh mown hay,
yet tis fool hardy to ruminate past joys
and/or sorrows,
but rather from fount of here and now
take figurative bull by the horns -
with courage enjoy dance of life
this dada glad ye sashay
along corridors encompassing
present realm of possibilities,
though anxious and nervous tap
into unbridled zealousness
(reined in by fear - case in point
asper my prepubescence)
be your kickstarter to rap
in sync with rhythm within your lovely bones,
and abide inner
global positioning satellite to map
best path for beloved forever loved trooper
(citing completed college courses,
linkedin with gainful employment
comprising admirable curriculum vitae),
cuz aye enthusiastically clap
though thee not hear,
how delighted how ye benefited
from uber created adventurous tales,
that doth rival any from Aesop
fable, yet nonetheless the story of your life
heading in one direction
to heights yet realized - perhaps one day
carrying the genetic torch to next generation
for thee existence in mine life
more precious than materiel acquisition
or fine spun gold,
this father vicariously witnessed blossoming
of his punim, gratitude prevails
ye contributed to my narration future chapters,
I await your accomplishments with exaltation
more understandable if and when
ye experience being a parent.

Whenever the missus irks me or complains...
I tell her don't "Hock me in chinik" nor kvetch
before long tête-à-tête escalates in2 Kanipshin
whereby the Army National Guard gets called
World War III declared Bubbe rolled over like
Beethoven in his grave where re: posthumous
renown one hundred & ninety eight years ago
March 26, 1827, never stopped decomposing
which countless noteworthy creations rank as
the mark of a prodigy with chutzpah to return
from the grave as an incorporeal essence with
trademark shock of hair unwittingly impacted
young hearts of females that went into aflutter
unbeknownst to said lasses who would qualify
as "groupies" in the parlance of contemporary
fans, but little known fact that unassuming key
gifted musician counts teachers, including his
father, Christian Gottlob Neefe, Joseph Haydn,
Johann Georg Albrechtsberger, Antonio Salieri,
& Johann Schenk bridged gap tween Classical
and Romantic eras centuries after the onset of
Yiddish, whereby scholars dated origin of the
language to the 9th century, when Ashkenazim
emerged as a unique cultural entity in central
Europe, thus speculation abounds that lyrical
spine tingling pièce de résistance Ode to Joy -
a melody based on poem by Friedrich Schiller
celebrates the unity of humankind, which song
considered a European anthem and a symbol
of brotherhood, freedom, & equality impossible
mission undertaken by semitic people generally
& Jewish folks particularly even then countless
centuries before relatively contemporary nations
resembled present day geography formerly the
cradle of Yiddish, which owned the equivalent
of top ten hits on billboard chart for beginning
of gobsmacked world predating REM by quite
a large number of centuries construing seeds of
life & white lily inchoate harbingers of Borscht
Belt a region in the Catskill Mountains of New
York that was a popular summer destination for
Jewish Americans from the 1920s to the 1960s:
The area was also known as the "Jewish Alps,"
showcasing debut of many notable comedians
such as the following extensive dam charming
name dropping who brought down the house
analogous to Rolling Stones “Rock the Casbah.”

Abbott & Costello, Joey Adams, Woody Allen, Morey Amsterdam, Bea Arthur, Sandy Baron, Jack Benny, Milton Berle Shelley Berman, Joey Bishop, Mel Blanc, Victor Borge, Mel Brooks, Lenny Bruce, Burns & Allen Pesach Burstein, Red Buttons, Sid Caesar, Jean Carroll, Jack Carter, Myron Cohen, Billy Crystal, Bill Dana, Rodney Dangerfield, Phyllis Diller, and the name dropping list continues with Totie Fields, Mickey Freeman, Betty Garrett, Estelle Getty, George Gobel, Shecky Greene, Buddy Hackett, George Jessel, Mickey Katz, Danny Kaye, Alan King, Robert Klein, Harvey Korman, Jack E. Leonard, Mal Z. Lawrence, Sam Levenson, Jerry Lewis, Richard Lewis, The Marx Brothers, Jackie Mason, Lou Menchell, Corbett Monica, Howard Morris, Zero Mostel, Jan Murray, Freddie Prinze Sr., Carl Reiner, Don Rickles, Joan Rivers, Freddie Roman, Rowan & Martin, Mort Sahl, Soupy Sales, **** Shawn, Allan Sherman, Phil Silvers, Arnold Stang, David Steinberg, Jerry Stiller, The Three Stooges, Jackie Vernon, Gene Wilder, Jonathan Winters, Ed Wynn, and Henny Youngman to cap off shortlisted personalities who guaranteed a crowded house.

a blizzard of blinding demoniacal
highly radioactive fueled banshees
(analogous to a bajillion barenaked ladies
raging against the machine)
barreled across the brutalized landscape
affixing fiendish scorched earth signature
whereby survivors felt like foreigners,
or strangers in a strange dystopian land
as tempestuous thermonuclear generated
sinister mushroom clouds unleashed
courtesy abominable terrestrial beastie boys
foo fighting, nirvana frankly zapped
after purportedly brilliant, yet simple minds
ginned up ingenuity to smash the atom,
(a process called nuclear fission occurred,
where the nucleus split into smaller nuclei,
releasing a significant amount of energy
in the form of radiation and heat)
triggering one after another
monster mashing vortex
howling day and night
issuing ear splitting deafening wind
screaming across the desolate domain
instantaneously usurping
(since the tapestry of the human league
throughout countless millenniums
stitched and wove together
from threadbare nasty, short
and brutish hominids
to twenty first century **** sapiens
comprising the warp and weft
of the webbed wide world,
and unfortunately could not take shelter
(whether with or without
mother's little helper)
would succumb videre licet
total global destruction and mortal Kombat
rendered instantaneously extinct
courtesy ferocious genii
wreaking irrevocable havoc
analogous to battered pockmarked moonscape,
whereby yours truly barely escaped unscathed
within nick of time, I sought safe refuge
within spacious bunker
(stocked with miscellaneous amenities -
such as dry and canned goods,
filtered water and select reading material)
from the sheltering sky,
nevertheless some creatures
that might survive a nuclear war include:
Tardigrades
These microscopic creatures, also known as water bears or moss bears, are extremely resistant to radiation. They can withstand radiation doses that are 5,000 grays, compared to 480–680 grays for German cockroaches and 4–10 grays for humans.
Deinococcus radiodurans
This organism is possibly the most radiation-resistant organism known, able to withstand 1,000 times the radiation dose that would **** a human.
Mummichog
These tiny fish can survive high amounts of radiation due to their ability to modify their genes and bodies to suit their environment.
Cockroaches
Cockroaches are well-equipped to rebound after a cataclysmic event due to their diverse means of reproduction.
Naked mole rats
These animals live in underground colonies where they are constantly exposed to high levels of radiation. They have evolved protective mechanisms to help them survive in this radioactive environment.
Bankos
These small, mouse-like creatures thrive in the most radioactive parts of the Chernobyl exclusion zone. They have developed enhanced DNA repair mechanisms that allow them to handle radiation doses that would be fatal to their relatives living elsewhere.
Wild boars
These animals have developed higher levels of natural antioxidants, helping them fight off radiation damage.

courtesy Facebook kindles being on cloud nine

After receiving friend request invitation
courtesy femme fatale,
an immediate and instantaneous
invisible chemical romance transpires
within the body, mind, and spirit of mein,
a boyish, coy, erudite married sexagenarian
to submissively surrender himself
as a willing subject awaiting
abduction at **** point,
and breast easy while
role playing "slave" and "master"
witnesses yours truly
binding and pledging
allegiance into thralldom.

In reality, I mimic
mild mannered modesty of Clark Kent,
each of us, whose aura, dogma,
enigma, karma and persona, et cetera
rather (rat a tat tat)
humdrum demeanor mellow fellow
long in the tooth, though I wear dentures -
thank you periodontal disease
diagnosed when less than thirty
racked up orbitz around sun,
or the half life of Matthew Scott Harris,
who experienced significant oral agony
throughout his threescore and six years
courtesy donning braces
(on two separate occasions) ,
getting healthy and local
and wisdom teeth extracted
due to overcrowding, and last
but not least maxillary osteotomy.

Upon first blush,
a veritable stranger
(hypothetically say an attractive fecund woman
of no particular age, creed, ethnicity,
gender affiliation, intelligence,
nationality, race, religion, et cetera)
would never in a million years guess
writer of these words to entertain
such, what some conservative
trumpeting republican might hashtag
as aberrant deviant ****** behavior -
and truth be told mien
strait laced heterosexual,
Norwegian bachelor farmer habitués -
especially behind closed doors of the boudoir
never incorporated anything outrageous,
but on an instantaneous whim
just came upon such out of character antics.

As a last resort,
I would settle for a nice Jewish orthodox girl,
who goes to synagogue,
likes to play board games,
take long walks along a short pier,
converse about climatological,
ideological, theological, et cetera questions
and generally down plays aesthetic appeal
versus emphasizing the intellect,
cuz rarely if ever did boyish good looks
drew the attention of one
extremely introverted, outwardly
socially withdrawn lad, who slunk along
the hallways with head down in an effort
to appear invisible, (and resorted
to anorexia nervosa to cease growing,
which merely stunted development
of body, mind, and spirit,
thus explaining an attempt
to compensate for a "lost" requisite phase
such as experiencing the dating game,
and truth be told, I overcame shyness
after learning about powder milk biscuits,
when a lovely gal named MaryAnn Sage
endured first fumbling intimate encounter
of mine capped with premature *******.

I would embellish more,
but the missus pesters me
to access Tubi web page
since we only own this one MacBook Pro laptop,
but cello phone the next best alternative.

The following account predicated on partial fact and a healthy dose of prevarication with an attendant overactive imagination.

Trying to REM ember the waking stage of an emotionally tormenting dream

One week later
still dog-tired after jarring telephone ordeal
(seven days ago from April 30, 2025)
with fake government employees,
yours truly still emotionally haggard
trembling and wretched
closely following on the figurative heels
of FaceBook account of mine getting hacked,
whereat my psyche got hijacked to Cuba.

I fell prey to innocuous text messages
sent to my FaceBook messenger account
by person(s) unknown,
which promised a boatload of money
one quick get rich scheme
supposedly no strings attached
of course the wary and suspect
immediately read thru the lines,
and saw the scam for what it was.

I learned the hard way
courtesy supposed special federal agent
Carlos A. Briano linked into
hashtagged badge identification 437409,
who tried to implicate me
and/or in conjunction
with criminals on the loose,
who stole my identity
for egregious purposes
such as money laundering
and selling illegal contrabands.

Official sounding acronyms
bandied about (to and fro,
hither and yon) in tandem
with interjected convincing sounding
emphatic threats of jail time
gave muscle and heft,
and ample material to mine
for months worth of telehealth therapy
courtesy CHE Behavioral Health Services.

No police people
came knocking on our door
one bedroom apartment unit labeled b44
coming to take me away
to be imprisoned
with heavily pierced
and tattooed criminals
hashtagged as *******
bullying, once upon a time a wimpy kid,
who grew into an older shy
Norwegian Bachelor farmer
frequently and nevertheless repeatedly
targeted by fraudsters,
which psychological torture
attributed to series of unfortunate events -
mainly unfairly accused
as complicit and accessory
of serious offenses
found yours truly
to be falsely accused
courtesy stolen identity (mine)
brutalized by nasty and short thugs
while behind bars,
where accidentally linkedin
with high crimes and misdemeanors
eventually inured me against punishment
(videre licet pummeled
into matted pulp) de jure
factor post traumatic stress
a major reason without rhyme
explaining current resultant languor
with just energy and panhandle
holding up a placard reading
"please help me Mister Postman,
cuz I am poor."

not one drop of sweat
(especially on hot humid and hazy days)
less than a gallon
exudes forth from my pores
but nevertheless
I can single handedly manage...
primary idiopathic palmar/
palmoplantar hyperhidrosis.

Aforementioned physiological malady
unwanted and unwonted figurative
(metaphorical) beast of burden
linkedin with matrix constituting mine
corporeal essence genetically
gifted to yours truly,
invariably, objectionably,
and unquestionably
afflicts, impacts, and upsets
emotional (mental) health
diagnosed with
schizoid personality disorder.

Tis no fun when unable
to join in any reindeer games
(actually quite aggravating)
to experience chronic instances,
whereby profuse sweat drips
(think rivaling Angel Falls),
the loftiest falls on land
inducing extreme self
consciousness and embarrassment.

Socialization compromised,
jeopardized, and sabotaged
against natural proclivity to fraternize,
thus avoidance behavior
(i.e. social distancing) rigorously practiced
way before coronavirus (COVID-19)
mandated staying at least 6 feet
(about 2 arm's length) from other people.
I vaguely recollect even while in utero
sweaty hands cooled courtesy amniotic fluid
yet subsequently observing consternation
obstetrician displayed as
itty bitty teensy weensy fingers
dripped - think faucet turned on full force.

Mein kampf (predominantly
describes solitary existence)
severely exacerbated (still prominent)
ability to function undermined
courtesy deux part and parcel
significant aforestated physiological
and social congenital afflictions
somewhat ameliorated by
about half dozen
plus three prescription medications,
one of which includes glycopyrrolate
typically one of the first treatments
for craniofacial hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the face and head)
and the second or third treatment
for palmar, plantar, or axillary hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the palms,
soles, and armpits).

I keep hermetically sealed
within our single bedroom apartment
(we lucked out with unit B44
providing us scenic view)
then (at the initial
crafting of bulk of this poem)
climate controlled at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
(you do the math to figure
the Centigrade temperature),
nevertheless these
five fingered appendages
ooze perspiration on par
with spigots gushing sweat.

Worse fate than death finds me
suffering one or more
dogged following plagues:
water turning to blood, frogs, lice,
flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail,
locusts, darkness and killing
of firstborn children far less oppressive
versus being stricken with Hyperhidrosis.

Sain above identified unpleasant fallout
understandably, quintessentially, and inextricably
linkedin within every fiber
moost likely activated since conception - mine
body electric infiltrated nerve wracking
complex corporeal edifice
interestingly enough solely overbearing
while yours truly wide awake
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
yet sleep ofttimes brings
severely dislocating, disquieting
and discombobulating
subconscious nocturnal experiences,
which frightful, maniacal, and
phantasmagorical vivid dreams
undermines, oppresses, and impinges,
any joie de vivre
creating abominable hell on Earth
thus this dirt poor commoner
pronouncing his intent
to beg, borrow and/or steal
(sell my soul to the devil)
in a desperate effort to secure
and pay King's ransom
to rid myself once and for all
of parasite entrenched nemesis
bleeding dry, leeching, and yoking
writer christened Matthew Scott Harris,
whereby he doth regularly writhe in agony.

as does yours truly,
whose ecological ethos
goes out the window
into the cold freezing iceland
prompting the following balderdash.

Upon the advent of an unexpected inspection
slated for tomorrow January 24th, 2025
myself and the missus,
(the latter bedridden
due to feeling physically unwell)
scrambled like the dickens (Charles to you)
to play merry maid to buckle down
and break a sweat sweeping and vacuuming,
plus applying the BISSELL
PROHEAT PETTURBO RUG CLEANER.

Many materials we would ordinarily and regularly
bring to a facility like GIANT,
(a market we ordinarily, rarely,
and unusually purchase food items),
nevertheless our goto place
for purportedly recycling
went into the dumpster
already filled to the brim
just like the nineteen eighties
television commercial with the same name,
whereby an attractive woman
proffers a steamy cup
to an equally pleasing looking man.

Analogous to being hashtagged as sacrilegious
indiscriminately tossing to and fro, hither and yon
so called "garbage,"
yet in the ideal world
disposable items videre licet
reusable processed goods
repurposed in a future life
perhaps as useful commodity
such as a handy dandy blues clues moon unit
linkedin with environmental principles
versus admission of guilt ridden conscious
in the eyes of Gaia more appropriate
for a heretical miscreant, reprobate or worse.

What began as blithe
indifference to mother nature
(justified with the excuse
that me wife ill with pneumonia,
and the weather way to cold
to be pitching recyclables
into their proper receptacles)
can easily, invariably, and logically manifest
into incorrigible criminal behavior
sending yours truly
sliding down into behavioral sink
found among the madding crowd
within densely populated urban areas
courtesy from the late Tom Wolfe,
who penned an Essay by the same name.

He discusses the problems of overcrowding
in cities and the resulting stress
and adrenaline rush it causes.

The combination of stress and overcrowding
causes citizens to turn into malevolent behavior,
where humans turn into ‘bilious, nephritic,
queer, autistic, sadistic, barren, batty, sloppy,
hot in the pants, changed on the flankers,
leering, puling (a real word meaning
whimpering, crying, sobbing, bleating and numb)
Wolfe suggests that such behavior all-consuming
in its malevolence and makes the people fight
with each other for a small amount
of private space around themselves.
Thus, the above urban jungle environment,
would gladly and matter of factly welcome
vis a vis honorable "Konnichiwa"
witnessing me gracefully
stepping upon Scottish red carpet,
and not even notice
nonestablishmentarians subversive characteristics
as an antithetical agent provocateur,
whose hunger for knowledge vis avis car earring
(and car rue ming) cerebrum formulated,
integrated, promulgated personal perception
to the point of no return, (meaning
culling, fomenting, inciting,
et cetera velvet revolution),
as fait accompli and inadvertently
bringing to fruition basic, dogmatic, enigmatic,
fatalistic heuristic life lessons.

The fabulist, dualistic capacity averred
videre licet Zoroastrianism
figuratively pitched this contemplative,
furtive, intuitive literate organic, realistic,
universalistic, wanderer yearning instinctive
modalities metamorphosing this quizzically
opportunistic, philosophically naturalistic,
officially matt tea realistic, and sometime
prophesying prognosticating probing outlier.

As a nonestablishmentarian libertarian, joy
riding heretic, feasting dishabille ***,
I contemplated the capacity quasi duality
of human being to co-exist inside the
labyrinth of mental learning.

Quite often reconciliation
between the angel of come
passion stood opposite intent (with
minimal effort to foment) malicious
intent toward evil.

This constant tug of war
(within depths of psyche) perched
psychological state upon precarious pivot.

Balance between righteousness verses
barb barrack ken of villainy engendered
warp and woof of noble might undermined
via ignoble, infamous injudicious threnody
thru the countless millennia, when many
an outstanding wizard served as a prime
mover and shaker to boost betterment
of so called civilized state with the bane
of anarchy, disintegration, gallimaufry
always in the vanguard.

Manifold milieus, which witnessed
civilizations rise and
fall became bereft of equilibrium
between forces of growth and decay.

The feature of intransigence (as a
free roaming derelict agent) and
dominant characteristic
of contemporary society.

(on a rainy May thirteenth
two thousand and twenty five)
as a balm against ennui
becoming engrossed, immersed,
and lost in space of orrery
regarding the universe created courtesy
Nora Roberts well crafted novel Montana Sky
perusing said realistic fiction
as if inebriated
with one hundred proof liquor
experiencing drunken stupor
merely from evocatively written story
and subsequently
envying such craftsmanship
incorporating her gushing wellspring
plentifully populated
with seat of the pants suspense
interwoven with the tapestry
of love and delight
in the valley of dark shadows
where the edge of night
(awash with creatures
conjured from an overactive imagination)
creeps into the realm
bordered by outer limits of the twilight zone
buzzfeeding insatiable
appetite for consumption
of one bookworm hellbent
on appeasing his voracious hunger
mental comfort analogous
to buffet of food omnipresent
for a famished homeless person,
which unfortunate soul
could be yours truly linkedin
to a lifetime of poor planning
and lack of sticktoitiveness
toward reasonable goals
abandoning ambition ousted
with faith no more
devoid of self confidence
by long entrenched apathy
taking root kudzu like way back
during blissful boyhood,
when yours truly
deferred to those
who begat him as his boatswain de jure
and panicking
when he clocked eighteen years
around the nearest star
totally unable and unready
to be master of his domain
witnessed courtesy
as he hopscotched
from one college to another
without rhyme nor reason
and giving up on himself
before testing his short lived
quizzical excitement pursuing
for example setting sights
on bachelor of science degree
at Temple University
as a Geology major
disbelieving I possessed the smarts
to comprehend chemistry or physics,
and rather than applying
figurative button nose to grindstone
yours truly (me) impulsively withdrew
repeated the above refrain
approximately half a dozen times,
and only recently discovering
vis a vis unbridled joy
imbibing countless author's claim to fame
boosting his literacy,
which plunge into
webbed wide world of imagination
did ensure temporary alleviation of learning
not so much to impress anybody,
but more so engaged
in near futile attempt
to appease hungry bibliophile
christened Matthew Scott Harris,
I simultaneously sought escape
from cares and concerns
of an uncertain world
where the great unknown
akin to a vast dangerfield
peopled with brutish,
nasty and short imps of the pervert
unsuspecting poe whet tick justice
awaiting within pit and the pendulum.

"Dangerfield" is a surname of Norman origin, meaning "settlement of danger" or "village of danger". It is a habitational name, meaning it originated from a place name in northern France. The name combines the Old Norse personal name "Ásgeirr" (from "áss" meaning god and "geirr" meaning spear) with the Old French "ville" meaning settlement or village. The "d" in "Dangerfield" is a fused preposition meaning "of" or "from."

Elysian fields long since embraced dada's soul
which rocketed into aerospace
(courtesy General Electric satellite)
just a tad shy of
fifty four plus months ago,
nevertheless melancholia
still plucks mine heart strings.

Mine psyche still situated awry
placid countenance of yours truly doth belie
residual sadness easily prompted
can easily trigger me to cry
linkedin when grim reaper gloated
October 7th, 2020
ye did somewhat peacefully die
though methinks immortality
I did briefly espy,

when miracles of modern medicine
tried, but could not
stave off mortality nor fortify
depredations of aging concerning
one wunderkind whose accomplishments
laudatory when a young handsome guy,
whose intelligence scored high
native talent aptitude tests did imply.

The late Boyce Brandon Harris
exhibited prolific talents at young age
aside being scholastically gifted,
acquiring graduate degree
courtesy Columbia University,
freshly minted mechanical engineer
(he admirably ranked within
uppermost percentile academically),
I hashtag thy mine deceased father
(a polymath - jack-of-all-trades),
who possessed (née excelled)
at diverse creative abilities.

Aside from being schooled
as mechanical engineer,
(which courses in mathematics and science
he passed with flying colors)
his mind genetically bequeathed
to craft almost anything under the sun
evidenced first by yours truly,
the second offspring and sole son
who ofttimes felt intimidated
at being in presence
of said Renaissance man.

Handicrafts included
expending blood, sweat, and tears
to craft multitude of projects;
i. building me Flintstone (foot powered)
car with wooden license plate.
ii. making playhouse for all three
of us - his progeny.
iii. amassing wood pile(s),
to stoke wood burning stoves
iv. designing Zayda trail for Teddy and Ruff
(two doggone mixed breed Border Collies
rescued courtesy youngest sister
at her Jacobsburg, Pennsylvania work site)
v. constructing sauna in cellar,

vi. etching, detailing (ala fresco),
vii. plus trimming living room ceiling,
viii. shingling (while fiddling) on the roof,
ix. tiling the kitchen floor,
x. building a cistern for brethren,
xi. wood paneling many rooms,
xii. building custom made toy chest,
xiii. stringing up lights to increase visibility
driveway lit like Christmas tree after dark,
xiv. partly assembled a kayak,
xv. retooling - enhancing porch
(formerly slate covered),
where Morris dancers performed
at wedding for eldest sister.
xvi. Helping, née completing
homework/school assignments.

Unlike him who did beget me
I experienced cognitive challenges
that beset one painfully shy
and severely introverted male
more to the point
as a lad and mediocre student to boot
promotion to next highest grade
occurred just by the skin of my teeth,
which may help to explain
why I wear dentures,
oh... these choppers worn for about
one fourth of mein kampf livingsocial.

A sense of inadequacy prevailed,
when absolute zero self esteem
strikingly and suddenly manifested
in tandem when parents moved
their young tender family within
Lower Providence School District,
but into a larger house
initially summer estate constituted
about one hundred acres of woodland -
named Glen Elm
think Winnie the Pooh -
house at Pooh corner.

Not quite two score plus ten years
spent livingsocial at 324 Level Road
(above mentioned abode alluded),
and twas there majority
mine existential highs and lows,
where nadir of mein kampf transpired,
I emotionally hit rock bottom
upon onset of prepubescence
yet major event triggering
mine major depression
set in motion,
when parents chose February 28th, 1968
to move out of shoddily constructed domicile
located on Lantern Lane.

As shared with Renee Cardone
(the therapist whose virtual sessions
linkedin courtesy Doxy.me portal -
similar to Zoom),
and today April 9th, 2025
said topic broached
with Alyne Hall, LCSW
a social worker
based in Elizabethtown, PA
that aforementioned date
marked a turning point
after which time, I floundered
experiencing irrevocable mental health issues
punctuating my psychological equilibrium
with chronic distress,
though I forgive father and mother,
who unwittingly made decision to move
and unbeknownst to them
set in motion and moderately contributed
to careering emotional rupture.

Often these days
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to share one son,
cuz twenty years after mother succumbed
courtesy of terminal illness
that ravaged her body.

I still reckon how yours truly
shrugged off proffering
tender loving care
within whose womb,
this sole prodigal son wannabe born,
thus shouldered with self scorn
and now two decades later,
the grief and regret not so heavily worn,
nevertheless I consider myself
less familiar to thy mama
than her hats (no surprise,
she got known
as the hat – trick - lady) on a rack
(built by papa)
that donned yorn head
and trumpeted the presence
of a free spirit.

He (the writer of these words) clearly recounts
as if her death occurred yesterday...,
(when all mine troubles
moost definitely not far away)
last remaining grains sands of time.

Imagine an hourglass
where fine granules
trickle from one to another
(upper to lower) bulbed chamber
just prior when coroner decrees death,
yet an opportunity prevailed
wherein said self (me) chose
NOT to stand vigil at deathbed
of she begat
an older and younger daughter
(mine sibling sisters).

Last breath(s) expelled while mama
tethered to machines,
one or more helped diminish
agonizing, depressing, and writhing
pain and discomfort
racked once fitness
and health conscious
industrious, tenacious, and vivacious body,
which malignant terminal illness
(no joke) riddled a former robust
Arthur Murray ballroom dance instructor
(think approximately
threescore and ten years past),
whose flirtatious demeanor
instantaneously caught fancy of handsome
twenty something papa at his prime.

Before rigor mortis quickly
stole precious lifeblood, and
final minutes ticked away until
countdown to... realm of absent consciousness
scant moments before subtle transition
slipped our beloved mother into deadzone...,
neither final adieu, caress, grief...,
nor poem written...
never communicated to deceased,
not an iota of sorrowful lament
bequeathed, prevailed, relinquished...
over lifeless body (mommy dearest)
relegated limp suddenly cold stone body,
where morgue aged (mortgaged) corpse
interestingly enough principally
kept in cold storage
(despite aversion to frigid air
exhibited by mama)
preparatory to cremation process.

Rather... suppressed resentment
exhibited itself at 1148 Greentree Lane
(partial listed then abode -
Matthew Scott Harris,
plus his family resided)
by mister recalcitrant,
felt ambivalent carte blanche blasé affection
regarding once young bride,
(who smothered cingular heir insync
with dada i.e. Boyce Brandon Harris),
cuz he (yours truly overstayed
livingsocial under same roof as parents,
which happenstance (in tandem
with the Leiper's preference
for their demesne plus
one hundred acre estate called Glen Elm
before being purchased by –
I believe a local
within Southeastern Montgomery County,
Pennsylvania realtor
named Donald Neilson, but do not quote me)
situated at 324 Level Road.

Both thee aforementioned
supposed biological guardians
railed, screamed, tormented (albeit verbally)
yours truly, upon mine eighteenth birthday,
when great expectations greatly exacerbating
emotionally hard times,
which ill suited poet de jure
experienced, brickbats rained
down upon these
(considerably mooch younger) lovely bones
whose anger (mine) smoldered
linkedin to constant epithets of expletives
out the mouths of those who begat me,
subsequently their livid with rage
tsunami festered within every
holy Mole (he) molecule
within mine atomized corporeal being
manifesting itself as deprivation
to embrace dear mama
attended at hospital with
both non twisted sisters;
one hailed from Woodbury, New Jersey
and the younger one staked out
modest home within Bend, Oregon,
meanwhile thee grim reaper
did patiently scythe before soon
nonchalantly heading back
to his old curiosity shop,
a rather bleak house, I now conclude.

Describes celibate bent aegis.
Mein kampf illustrates gravitas.

Underdog muted lest intimidation
think bully brandishing fist in my face
threatening to buzzfeed me
a brassy knuckle sandwich.

While breezily reading Judy Bloom,
(whose material geared
toward young adult)
book titled Blubber - published in 1974,
(which year found yours truly - me
undergoing amazing transition
classified as puberty)
bemoaned childhood's end - id est mine
interestingly enough romanticized boyhood
livingsocial within Lake Woebegone

(way before Garrison Keillor
named said fictitious town),
purely swiftly tailored
harried styled fabrication,
although that first decade
found torturous growing up years
more so courtesy
self exclusion from reindeer games,
thus during lunch or recess
(two most favorite classes)

bullies turned me into minced meat
taunted and teased
a severely socially withdrawn boy,
who never shared emotional agony,
he internalized verbal slings and arrows
eventually physically succumbed
from brickbats indiscriminately
lobbed at painfully shy
once upon a time happy go lucky lad,
(with a button nose),

when he whiled away days of his life
as the world turned
first at Lantern Lane
for about a half dozen plus years,
then at 324 Level Road
for approximately
one third of present existence
unbeknownst to him
that psychologically dark shadows
lurked within the outer limits

of the twilight zone
haunting corporeal essence
attached to those lovely bones,
now saddled with excess adipose tissue,
especially around belly of the beast
housing hunger artist
starving for knowledge,
and peopling his overactive imagination
with exemplary protagonists
blithely thwarting incendiary threats,

cuz of natural born defense against
gunning character assassination
courtesy fearsome imbeciles
hell bent on nasty, short and brutish fiends,
who did their collective bidding
vis-à-vis cut throat leviathan,
who overshadowed and locked in
propensity to live free and clear
analogous to unfettered noble savage
cannibalizing yours truly (me) as fancy feast.

Soul asylum salvation sought
as if survivor of mental health challenges  
akin to foreigner trying
to sidestep gingerly self annihilation.

yielded following resultant fiction,
which arbitrarily selected thread
first popped into my head
considered one among many possible
near infinite concocted scenarios
arose up, thus continue at your own risk
only entertainment ye need dread.

When just a ruthless babe at me mother's breast
already talking fluently and creating
one after another prolific
literary pièce de résistance
superbly peppered with eloquent, magnificent,
and significant turns of phrases,
not surprisingly needless
to say (or type) excessive
and uncontrollable talking,
often seen in individuals
experiencing psychomotor agitation
and visual hallucinations
severely disrupted with being nursed
more than a few months courtesy
when my twenty four year old mom,
whose milk (holy cow -
she uddered) and air supply exhausted
inexplicably and simultaneously dried up anyway
and her *******
became shriveled like that of a crone,
(the above half dozen statements predicated on fact),
thus wet nurses brought in
from all four corners of the globe
with near identical
repeated outcomes prevailed videre licet,
whereby every buxom gal
(succumbed to mysterious malady)
no matter previously
rigorously, intensely screened
and declared fit as a fiddle
and strong as a brick Scheißhaus
met an identical demise as dear old mutter
unexpectedly collapsed in a heap
punctuated by disequilibrium
linkedin to an error message
found in open source coding
of their operating system
compromising respective body electric,
which signal effects
one need be mindful of
somehow attributed
to unfettered loquacity
of mine include exhaustion
on unsuspecting listeners or readers
frequently inducing immediate
and non stop yawning,
and worse case scenario
witnesses - said innocent recipient(s)
subjected to vocalizations
and/or writings of Matthew Scott Harris
even for the briefest moment of time
and naturally the impact
directly proportional to proximity to me,
thus should a series
of unfortunate find thee
in my company - watch out,
you better not cry,
better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Perkiomen Valley poet is comin' to town
cuz such close contact
people known to perish from this earth
in no uncertain terms
how, when, where or why,
though president Donald Trump
intends to make unclassified
once top secret information.

While both parents
(actually they got classed
as child prodigies and satisfactorily)
earned requisite credits to graduate,
with honors of course across dual majors,
plus acquired doctorate degrees to boot
from Cooper Union College
for the Advancement of Science and Art
located at 30 Cooper Square
in New York, NY 10003
in the East Village of Manhattan,
close to Washington Square Park
and Greenwich Village

Despite years of deep Freudian analysis,
the pathologically excessive
(and often incoherent)
talking or writing only worsened
until the present moment
February thirteenth
two thousand and twenty four
of this free verse poetic assay
(as fingers blithely did sashay
across the qwerty keyboard)
emphatic issuance
of uber deadly oral ejaculations
and/or transmitting electronic gobbledygook
put the missus in comatose state,
where I can hear her snoring.

within mine marriage,
and all the ramifications
that happen therefrom
courtesy the social media platform
of Facebook Messenger,
wherein those subscribing
to an orthodox dogma
may consider said website infernal
(even more despicable
then once upon a time
Old Rotten Gotham
sliding down into the behavioral sink),
where sirens wail their plaintive call
seductively luring and captivating
(courtesy their cam girl schtick)
yours truly just another netizen,
(albeit a married Caucasian fellow)
merely seeking platonic relationship,
but nevertheless drawn
into placid tranquil Elysian fields
compliments of ambrosian aphrodisiac.

Impossible mission to consummate
illicit liaison with female(s)
young enough to be my daughter
unless I rent asunder vouchsafed bonds,
when troth got pledged,
(nearly spanning my half-life ago)
inconsolably bawling
for the first year of mein kampf
after exiting the birth canal
as a scrawny newborn sixty six years ago
January thirteenth
two thousand and twenty five.

Shame on me flaunting availability, carnality,
faux fidelity, juvenility,
obtainability, and unmorality
linkedin to unmet socialization
when a pubescent lad
essentially stunting healthy development
of body, mind and spirit,
while writhing with psychological agony
thwarting puberty every inch of the way
(because I wanted to remain a little boy),
hence no surprise self deprivation
of vital healthy biological development
witnessed devastating lifelong sabotage
undermining natural manifestation
of body, mind and spirit of life
from boyhood to manhood
recklessly endangering himself,
though he committed no crime per-se
starving himself to death
upended predestined kindled flux
about a dozen years prior,
when spermatozoa gamete
chanced to witness fertilization
nowadays primarily courtesy
breakthru technological wizardry
utilizing high-resolution microscopes
with specialized cameras used,
often in conjunction
with micromanipulation tools,
for procedures like ICSI
(intracytoplasmic morphology ***** injection)
and IMSI (Intracytoplasmic
Morphologically Selected ***** Injection),
which reproductive medicine
giving hope to those
experiencing challenges conceiving offspring.

Unintentional quirk of circumstances
found me texting and sexting young women
compliments Facebook Messenger
after acknowledging receipt of friend requests
unbeknownst such
nonchalant click of the mouse
would usher temptation
of the verboten flesh
(off limits after yours truly
promised to uphold sacred vows
not quite thirty years ago),
I claim the lame excuse
to compensate for forsaken opportunities.  

Analogous to someone starved
for one of Abraham Maslow's physiological needs
late childhood/early tween age hood
of mein kampf peppered
with absent necessary emotional,
physical, mental and spiritual growth,
which deprivation partially explains the reason
(without any rhyme or feathers) why the writer
of these words experiences giddiness
when veritable unknown females
(who congregate in cyberspace)
unwittingly boost my ego
paying me compliments
on my non-photogenic likenesses
or various and sundry autodidactic,
cryptic, dogmatic, fantastic, grammatic,
poetic nuggets of wisdom
from an altitudinarian, doctrinarian,
platitudinarian sexagenarian, and solitudinarian.

awash with intermittent amnesia.

Scant number of minutes elapsed...
before I forgot whether yours truly
took another dose of glycopyrrolate
ingested as a palliative prescription
medication addressing the issue of
palmar hyperhidrosis -- excessive
perspiration of palms of hands, an
unpleasant physiological symptoms
afflicting me more than three fourths
of my threescore and six years or
more specifically sixty six orbits
alive to the sound of music
debilitating, hobbling, loosing
a torrent of water dripping
(think Murchison Falls -
After crossing the gorge,
the water pours down
falling freely 45m below
creating a strong water spray
on which the rainbow is formed)
off the ventral side, id est anterior
(front) surface of the hand
an uncontrollable exudation
of wet sometimes saturated
issuance wren during
physical contact (particularly
a handshake) quite aggravating
and part of the reason
(without rhyme), I shied away
filling out applications,
a major self conscious
legendary characteristic
of my being at least
as far back as when
yours truly a poor student
at Methacton High School
creating a great disruption
when quizes or major midterms
or final examinations occurred
witnessing dog awful dilemma
when using pen(cil) and paper,
because the royal pain in the ****
sopping wet diaphoresis
significantly like duh impacted
satisfactory writing without the ink
or graphite turning into liquid,
yet never did I
(an extremely shy youth)
tell teacher (if young and female
generated flushed and hot sensations
finding me to blush),
but even if the pedagogue
a male never did mine tongue
wag to plead if I could retake the test
teasing out qualifications or knowledge
(ofttimes memorized strictly
for those minutes
of absolute zero noise),
when intense concentration
attempted to bring
to the fore of the mind
(essentially a mission impossible
even for the likes of ace actors,
who made their debut
when original "Mission: Impossible"
television series and made for silver screen
(countless decades later)
"Mission: Impossible - starring macho
and adroit Top Gun globetrotter,)
to **** out unsavory malefactors,
and Cruise’s (he
of Risky Business endless fame)
endearing, one-man crusade
to get butts back in movie theater seats
in spite of executives trying
to sell the industry out to streaming
the none-too-subtle subtext
of 2023’s delightful
“Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning”
also included a cameo appearance
of nondescript appearance
with his trademark characteristic
of longish wavy hair
giving him cachet as self anointed
free verse writing Poet
of Penn Valley, Pennsylvania
playing a well known woolgatherer
who recently returned from zzz land,
where dreams made
but rarely REMembered.