"Criminally insane" is an informal term for someone found not guilty of a crime due to a mental disease or defect at the time of the offense, meaning they lacked the mental capacity to understand their actions were wrong or to control them. This legal concept, also known as an insanity defense, varies by jurisdiction but generally requires the defendant to have a severe mental impairment that prevented them from having the required "guilty mind" (mens rea).

My doppelganger ranks as the criminally insane prodigal son

thank dog, I never spent time in a mental ward
hyperbole utilized for sole purpose
of my loving and undying devotion,
nor could yours even imagine
when conjectured explored
of fictitious stanzas,
such a ridiculous and far fetched notion.

just for the hypothetical
scenario of this digitally folded,
mutilated and spindled quatrain
their sole son always appeared singularly wired,
(and said singular male heir) criminally insane
both parents of mine
met their demise and expired.

yet their invisible presence forever and anon
infiltrates mine subconscious during deep sleep
who trumpets these lines,
years since they both be gone
out of the grave their lovely bones
would rattle and hum,
who no longer doth weep.

I write virtually tongue in cheek
gallows humor about
grateful dead father and mother
once upon a time
yours truly a pencil necked geek
once upon same time mad as a hatter
toward them cause
they never gave me a brother.

misunderstandings there happened to be quite a few
foremost ofttimes raging against me
about getting a job
completely baffled and irate
with their emotionally afflicted adult son
with nary a handy dandy blues clue
threatening with one ultimatum after another to wit:
staying in my bedroom,
where I imagined myself to be a heart-throb.

in reality a friendless boy,
then adolescent, and later in life a no where man
imagining quaffing draught videre licet
an electric kool aid acid test and passive resistor,
who daily day dreamt
about being abducted
by aliens flash in the pan
to escape an untenable reality
envying my younger sister.

whose fancy free
and foot loose modus operandi
she aced all classes
both in high school and college at Antioch
to date witnessed her to date being a globe trotter,
who met and eventually married a counterpart
she met at Young's Regency,
a roller skating rink he's nick named Andy,
who regularly drove to Yellowsprings, Ohio
from Southeastern Montgomery County,
Pennsylvania, which place
ain't exactly around the block.

meanwhile, I whiled precious time away
feigning seeking employment,
but actually reading
on the roof of boyhood house,
or sought seclusion at a nearby park
envisioning existence as Huckleberry Finn,
when in reality days of my life
as the webbed wide world turned
rank culled as passé.

a more relevant fantasy
finds me comfortably ensconced
in tree house squirreled away
acknowledged as poet laureate
living loving writing for money
which in conjunction
with social security disability
helps me get out of debt
impecunious no more
and being sought out
to collaborate with Bad Bugs Bunny.

Who asks the rhetorical question
what's up doc?

With my scrunched
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder
the precise circumstances
that any thing to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar

to sowing seed of corn
ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just the slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –

whether one celled entity
or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for one able to pledge marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke
of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in the distant past
rendering me absent
and hence unable to utter wow

At what crapshoot
of circumstances wrought
Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and the world wide web
or follow threads back in time
albeit not more
than a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed eastern european swath
in general finding you to rhyme
for no reason,
just as other creatures
great or small occupy
(wall street) themselves with glee
or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury
of how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monk-key
whereby harsh ill fate tempts them
into life of crime
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree

branching off way
back when back in the day
glorious personalities populated
genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere along the way
setting stage for rags
when once august ancestry
buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present
woes or even pray

to win lottery turning attention
to how like
our ancestral gingko or newt
dwelling in that rich primordial
egg drop soup wantonly
in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
on land to assay

giving rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
and this one speck of flotsam
in particular owns a passion
for square and/or contra dance
whereby others – from massive beasts
to self taught amazing evolved ants
scurry hither and yon to and fro
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
to be alive for a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance.

The following account predicated on partial fact and a healthy dose of prevarication with an attendant overactive imagination.

Trying to REM ember the waking stage of an emotionally tormenting dream

One week later
still dog-tired after jarring telephone ordeal
(seven days ago from April 30, 2025)
with fake government employees,
yours truly still emotionally haggard
trembling and wretched
closely following on the figurative heels
of FaceBook account of mine getting hacked,
whereat my psyche got hijacked to Cuba.

I fell prey to innocuous text messages
sent to my FaceBook messenger account
by person(s) unknown,
which promised a boatload of money
one quick get rich scheme
supposedly no strings attached
of course the wary and suspect
immediately read thru the lines,
and saw the scam for what it was.

I learned the hard way
courtesy supposed special federal agent
Carlos A. Briano linked into
hashtagged badge identification 437409,
who tried to implicate me
and/or in conjunction
with criminals on the loose,
who stole my identity
for egregious purposes
such as money laundering
and selling illegal contrabands.

Official sounding acronyms
bandied about (to and fro,
hither and yon) in tandem
with interjected convincing sounding
emphatic threats of jail time
gave muscle and heft,
and ample material to mine
for months worth of telehealth therapy
courtesy CHE Behavioral Health Services.

No police people
came knocking on our door
one bedroom apartment unit labeled b44
coming to take me away
to be imprisoned
with heavily pierced
and tattooed criminals
hashtagged as *******
bullying, once upon a time a wimpy kid,
who grew into an older shy
Norwegian Bachelor farmer
frequently and nevertheless repeatedly
targeted by fraudsters,
which psychological torture
attributed to series of unfortunate events -
mainly unfairly accused
as complicit and accessory
of serious offenses
found yours truly
to be falsely accused
courtesy stolen identity (mine)
brutalized by nasty and short thugs
while behind bars,
where accidentally linkedin
with high crimes and misdemeanors
eventually inured me against punishment
(videre licet pummeled
into matted pulp) de jure
factor post traumatic stress
a major reason without rhyme
explaining current resultant languor
with just energy and panhandle
holding up a placard reading
"please help me Mister Postman,
cuz I am poor."

for Mutualism among **** sapiens
long thought to be a pipe dream
case in point sited by a couple of recent
purportedly natural events possibly
exacerbated courtesy global warming
namely present conflagrations
include veritable towering inferno -
(sharing merest premise
with Hollywood film by the same name,
the highest-grossing
Classic 1970s disaster movie
about a fire that breaks out
in a state-of-the-art San Francisco
high-rise building
during the opening ceremony
attended by a host of A-list guests:
An overworked fire chief
(charging full force like Minnesota Vikings -
or feel free to substitute your own football team)
and the building's architect must cooperate
in the struggle to save lives and subdue panic
while a corrupt, cost-cutting contractor
tries to evade responsibility for the disaster
helped establish the modern blockbuster)
dwarfed by devastating southern California,
or the impacts from Hurricanes Helene
and Milton both particularly destructive,
causing more than $100 billion
in combined damage across
Florida, Georgia, South Carolina,
North Carolina, Tennessee,
and Virginia over a two-week period
from late-September into early October),
where trials by fire and water respectively
witnessed linkedin collective effort
that spread kudzu like
attempted delivering relief,
no matter Federal disaster workers
paused and then changed some
of their hurricane-recovery efforts
in North Carolina, including abandoning
door-to-door visits, after receiving threats
that they could be targeted
by a militia, officials said,
as the government response
to Helene targeted
by runaway disinformation.

Impossible mission to duplicate
or even barely approximate
wrenching cataclysms wrought by mother nature,
no matter death defying scenes
movies present quite realistic,
especially seen on the big screen
incorporating surround sound,
where more or less clear cut
protagonists and antagonists
confront each other,
whereby the former
(more times that not
in that make believe world)
where actors and actresses
present convincing drama)
and win the day
quite unlike reality,
when havoc ferociously strikes
indiscriminately rich or poor alike.
I always marvel at the surge
of voluntary brother and sisterhood
(personhood generally) that encompasses
(or follows) a figurative groundswell,
(particularly when the phenomenon in question
constitutes a natural event
say aftermath of meteorological storm in question,
namely a tsunami)
pitting dearth of humanitarian intervention,
where terrorist act and violent crimes
grist for the tabloid or social media mill
give the impression that **** sapiens'
pith and marrow chock full of
animalistic, atavistic, cannibalistic,
fascistic, hedonistic,
misogynistic, et cetera predilections,
thus believing challenging
the bedrock belief in inherent goodness
of man/woman kind
as the exception rather than the rule
and proving the potential exists,
whereby idealistic opportunistic government
(of the people by the people
for the people shall not perish from the earth”
spoken at Gettysburg),
but these words apply as well
to the countless soldiers that died
for the cause of democracy
in the following 160 years,
yet not just highlighting slain combatants
also extending by proxy
to vicious acts of homicide,
physical ****** abuse,
plus verbal castigation
as experienced by the writer of these words
(ofttimes in his younger days
deemed, hashtagged, peppered, targeted,
et cetera as ideal scapegoat)
pummeled courtesy nasty, short and brutish louts,
who heaved, lobbed, threatened,
et cetera me with expletive laced brickbats,
where bullies evinced sympathy for the devil.

(even Mary Poppins would tout
a plug for said company she would spout
forcing playthings scattered helter skelter
retreating into their respective bins
analogous to a defeated army
beating a hasty retreat after a major rout
against all odds fighting off
the aggressive incursion
of a trumpeting lout,
which troops use weapon of choice
namely breath issuing "*****"
which in German, "*****"
primarily means herb
or the leaves and stem
of a plant, as opposed to the root,
also used in compound nouns
to refer to various cabbage products,
most notably Sauerkraut,
which is fermented white cabbage.

Additionally, "*****"
can be a derogatory slang term
for Germans, similar to how "Frogs"
used for the French,
according to The Guardian).
which accolades vocalized
on behalf of a company
whose sturdy products
helped transform the wife
from a potential candidate
of Hoarders buried alive
into a rival for the Odd Couple
neatnik character Felix Unger
though room for improvement
the spouse tries to abide
by the phrase
"a place for everything
and everything in its place"
an idiom that promotes
organization and orderliness,
where maximizing the space
afforded by a one bedroom apartment
here at Highland Manor
taught us the necessity
of maintaining an ever closer approximation
to becoming the reigning queen
of **** and span
affected by the mandates of management
(reinforced by dictates
of urban housing for low income
linkedin to yearly "violations")
toward instilling acquiring
"the model tenant award"
by regular inspections
which if I ruled the world
would include a month of free rent
as an extra incentive
leaving no room
for the likes of Oscar Madison,
which objective becoming
neat and tidy truth be told
finds me relishing living
according to the gospel
of several people offering
decluttering and organization methods
similar to Marie Kondo's KonMari approach,
focusing on simplifying and creating
a more joyful living space.

Some notable figures
include Gretchen Rubin,
known for her
"Outer Order, Inner Calm"
philosophy, and The Home Edit duo,
Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin,
who emphasize visual organization.

Other methods, like Swedish Death Cleaning
and Peter Walsh's approach,
also offer alternative strategies
for decluttering and organizing one's home.

delivered me back in the dark shadows
and the underbelly of the web,
where impossible mission
to differentiate the outer limits
cast by edge of night
essentially rendering a twilight zone
where obscured criminal activity
clear as day in retrospect,
versus earlier this month
when yours truly gung **
obediently got a crash course
in cryptocurrency and electronic *******
blindsided to the Potemkin Village,
who never heeded the red flags
now forced me to revisit
nightmare scenario of pennilessness,
whereby an absentee vote
of no confidence in self awareness
guaranteed enthrallment back
to burglarious, nefarious, usurious loan sharks
ever since the latter part of June 2023,
when pseudonymous Harvey Specter
indelibly etched monetary fiasco
now marking
the second anniversary of debacle
present racket instigated
courtesy Donald Koons,
who steered gullible guy
into a worse fate than death.

Utter brainless nincompoop
in this poem heretofore addressing
I wanna be forever free
and clear from mortal anguish,
and need more than a blessing -
I need a miracle worker
or billionaire philanthropist after confessing
behavior of naïveté causing depressing
wretched state of mind
self incriminating admission expressing
emptying out checking
and savings accounts
not by my choosing
but the deviltry of Robin hood
and his merry band of outlaws
which include Little John,
Friar Tuck, Will Scarlet,
and Much the Miller's Son.

The importance of money
or lack thereof smarts,
especially when series
of unfortunate events
even Lemony Snicket,
would be flabbergasted
at such blatant and flagrant stupidity
exhibited courtesy yours truly.

Herr dummkopf did not function
with one iota of his brain
case in point entire
financial cushion he did drain
late June two thousand and twenty three,
where anonymous, barbarous, egregious,
ferocious, iniquitous jerks
re: cyber crooks enriched their coffers
in previous poems I did explain,
how yours truly got sucker punched
to surrender substantial capital
subsequently severe depression
washed over me like floodplain
after a major hurricane,
thus another shout out,
though I feel quite insane
to drum up buffer (in) zone
excedrin also sought
to bring temporary relief
far fetched likelihood in dough main
despite moon shot
to witness philanthropic boost,
I keep praying Meg Found
will pull thru and ordain
analogous to pinwheeling plane
(disaster from fraudster frazzled father)
one ordinarily perspicacious primate
who two years later still experiences
financially hardship that doth strain
and punctuated psyche
with moon efficient crater
whose sense of orientation
analogous to a spinning weathervane.

The following poem posted about a half hour before the bewitching hour that spelled calamity (which though a freaky Friday the thirteenth) did (nor does) not find me exceptionally superstitious, and rather than wait for the morrow, I feel so pent up with aggravation concerning chronic checking account issues linkedin to Citizens Bank a need for a healthy distraction finds me sharing a tragi-comic combination of contusions upon body electric of mine at that time a forty year old father of two young daughters.

Once again tis time to saddle ye dear reader and pony up, giddy-up and and trot out (absent neigh saying - without horsing around) an unforgettable day encompassing a series of unfortunate events (so take that Lemony Snicket! - yeah go ahead and picket and enlist Jiminy Cricket!).

Wicked bad day poem
originally crafted, designed, engineered...
then alternately titled
for no particular rhyme nor reason:
unwitting courtesy extended
to Doctor Donald (Duck) Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia.

Bowed over in supine position
yours truly (me) did deign
upon the vagaries of ill fates
that did inextricable entwine
where superstitious phenomena
slammed like the dickens
and severely tested across fineline
doggedly gingerly jinxing luck of mine
August thirteenth nineteen hundred and ninety nine
forever etched in the annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like a fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.

Prior to the following awful events
that unfolded aforementioned day
somewhat solemn and gray
I did not consider myself unduly superstitious
nor prone to bouts of triskaidekaphobia/
paraskevidekatriaphobia  no how no way.

Yet that particular Friday
the thirteenth baptized me
in the ****** waters of superstition unequivocally
whence upon waking said particular morning
the search for funereal garb found me
burrowing into a small closet  
while bending on one wounded knee,
and nonchalantly rummaging
for suitable article of clothing to wear
(per the wake/
sitting shiva of William Zison
the octogenarian father in law)
an unbeknownst ill fate
lurked just seconds away
ready to cap cha an innocent prey
as any unseen observer
and/or pet would agree.

Hands rifled and rustled
thru various and sundry
miscellaneous items in one or another box
mostly clothing and other apparel
draped in coat hangers
plus a precariously perched
heavy tin of yarn heavy as rocks
began to teeter from top ledge,
than made a slow inexorable descent
in direct path of thy crown
containing valued mental stocks.

Unbeknownst to me Grim
the Reaper hoped to score
spelling my demise qua life or limb
the topmost part of thine skull
felt impact of sharp metallic rim
that left an indentation in soft part of scalp –
more’n an abrasive skim
and bent circular shape
of contrivance filled to the hilt
one law of physics pertaining
to falling object (taught to me)
acquires greater mass
accelerating with velocity and vim.

Upon reflexively yet tentatively
touching raw sore spot
fingertips revealed presence of warm liquid
soon coagulating into a pulpy gordian knot
from sharp lipped impact registering nausea
and vertigo quite a lot
hence sewing crafts managed to stitch
a tattooed laceration forming a ****** clot.

Body writhed with physical torment
as if being only partially alive
whereby waves of blacking
or passing out found me swooning
ready to take a swan dive
nonetheless from Schwenksville
to Penn Valley, I did
(by divine grace) safely drive
whence family members and relatives
once destination reached, the motley crue
began organized carpool arrangements
per heading off to the cemetery,
which caravan formation  
similar to a human bee hive,
yours truly declined to go
communicating persistent distress from mishap
I bowed wowed out, stayed home
and kept company with a dog
(purportedly man’s best friend)
(said pet belonging to a friend
of eldest sister in law),
whose open palmed overtures
of mine did not jive.

An impulse found fingers reaching out
to stroke this unfamiliar animal
supposedly man’s best friend
only to find sharp teeth from canine jaw
clamped down ******* hand
which second ****** injury,
my mother affixed a butterfly bandage
to expedite the injury to mend,
I did immediately tend
nursing injuries inside
the time yours truly did spend
while bolts of white hot pain
shot thru lower extremity of palm
radiated upward through forearm
into shoulder did wend.

one of whom would be
this married sexagenarian,
who recently acquired
his Senior Fare Card
courtesy Trump's big beautiful bill
dog days of summer
will experience big beautiful chill
videre licet courtesy
slated budget cuts
intimating a worse fate
than getting root canal,
whereby militant dentist
woulf blithely recount his days
as oil rig employee
when he/she uttered the phrase
let us drill baby drill
without anesthesia testing tolerance
of patient to withstand and weather
blistering pain threshold
proving laughable reputation
of ineradicable irascible self
to be indomitable macho man
proving the myth of superman
lives within yours truly
a lifelong ambition of mine to fulfill
despite Sisyphean bone crunching
true grit teeth gnashing laborious process
as flour doth get ground within gristmill,
which grievance best taken to Capitol Hill
where ice cream for Jack and Jill
but nobody hears me
the fool on the hill
trucking, peddling, and naysaying
flavor of the month seasoned with krill
(don't knock it till you try it)
farmed from famed lake,
where plenty of fish
and seek reachers
once frolicked within
said body of freshwater
subjected to eutrophication
after toxic brew got poisoned
declared a superfund site
pungent putrid pox drained
basin subsequently relegated as a landfill
forever an eyesore devoid of wildlife
prospects for resuscitation
of thriving habitat
back to former glory days
and haven for flora and fauna
non-existent or nil
similar to forestalling
or reversing prospect
leaving countless commuters
within southeastern Pennsylvania
(come beginning Aug. 24,
when more than 30 bus routes
will be eliminated citywide)
seriously impacting (upending)
the lives and livelihoods
of people who solely depend
on public transportation
to reach their destination,
whether that be school or work,
which frantic pandemonium
will find metropolitan citizens
of Philadelphia going berserk,
whereat commander in White House
sports (analogous to Cheshire Cat,
or the Grinch who stole Christmas) a smirk
happy as a clam economic doldrums will lurk.

Meanwhile some companies may go bust
dramatically spiking unemployment
currently experiencing
a 0.682% decrease in employment
from 2022 to 2023, dropping
from 286,000 to 284,000 employees,
but the looming shuttering
of a vital transportation hub
linkedin within the Delaware county may skyrocket
not only regarding those skilled technicians
and the industries that supply mechanical parts
but valuable individuals
linkedin to vehicular repair or career drivers,
plus industries supplying uniforms,
and office support staff who monitor safety.

Person of interest linkedin
with Stash Capital Management...
committed bank fraud,
and if witness to such thievery
stun gun of mine drawed,
which word archaic
or nonstandard past tense of draw,
(I would make exception
if perpetrator knock out broad
asking such out of character
to at the least buy me supper),
and retrieved from her bag of tricks
ranging from physical devices
that steal card information
to malicious software
that targeted online
checking account of mine
feverishly employed (courtesy
sophisticated state of the art
computer hardware and/or soft-ware,
whether solitary lone wolf,
hacker collective or group,
or more specifically a hacktivist collective,
cybercriminal group,
or state-sponsored group (like APT groups),
nevertheless whether culprit acted alone
perhaps to impress geek squad
or maybe punk created for extra credit
accessing their own innovation
or thru the agency of groupthink
pulled off an electronic heist courtesy
when he/she they/them
went blithely cruising along viz -
(short for "videlicet,"
which comes from
the Latin phrase "videre licet,"
meaning "it is permitted to see)"
the information super highway
the figurative bottom line
being intent to inflict shell-shock
with cake-walk ease
pre-meditated or acted out ad-hoc
to withdraw and exhaust account,
no matter impossible mission
fraught with peril he/she hell-bent
to extract every last red cent
personal or quota established among posse
set their sites to undertake
what would rank to them
as an every day event
no matter novelty wore off
after initial initiation
to apply malicious codified
byte size criminal activity
bitta bing bitta bang and expedite
just a routine unauthorized use
of a computer or network
to take property,
obtain property through deceit,
or manipulate digital information
for personal gain or to cause damage
explicit singular ***** deed done dirt cheap
illicit complicity among gang members
earns collective figurative stars and stripes
despite humdrum hitting virtual pay dirt frequent
car - reed out videlicet reputable maverick
or notorious den of thieves
celebration of natural high
compounded by assistance
from storied legend of Molly Hatchet
wreaking invisible havoc
among telecommunications infrastructure,
especially hi-jacking kick as*
payload after breaking
user name and password
or stealthily getting hold
of credit card information
also known as skimming,
the act of using illegal devices
or software to secretly capture financial data
from credit cards, debit cards,
or PINs during legitimate transactions,
and on the sly (and the ****** family)
criminals install physical devices on ATMs,
gas pumps, or POS terminals
to steal card information
from the magnetic stripe,
or use cameras and overlay keypads
to capture PINs
also using malicious software,
known as e-skimmers,
to capture payment details
from online forms, which stolen data
then used to make fake cards
or conduct unauthorized
purchases and withdraw cash,
leading to financial loss
and identity theft for victims.

until courtesy amazing grace interceded
in the doggone guise
of Canis lupus familiaris
unwittingly timely deliverance
videre licet as an unconditionally loving
emotional support animal.

Emotional and financial crucifixion
synonymous with being
figuratively nailed to the cross
or flayed into a ****** pulp,
which damning punishment
linkedin to joint checking account
being ****** dry as an arid desert
by a criminal hopefully
he/she gets their comeuppance
for usurper(s)
of our joint checking account funds
whose activity at an ATM machine
located at West Ridge Street Lansford Pa
helped her/himself exuding glee
and cashed out monies
subsequently accruing
an attached surcharge of three dollars
plus an overdraft fee of $35.00,
which duplicated transactions
for $203.50, $303.50
occurred on the following days:
May 14th, 15th, and 16th, 2025,
and if any unsuspecting observer
witnessed she/he walking
with stuffed pockets bulging with cash
please inform me
as soon as possible
so just desserts
can be meted out
not because I consider myself vindictive,
but yours truly (me)
experienced financial hardship,
which crisis nearly
sent me to the poor house
and/or a mental state hospital.
Courtesy intercession
re: fluke of the universe
turned the figurative
tables on miscreant
punishing series of unfortunate events
rescinded at the eleventh hour
the reprieve granted
courtesy lenient judge
who mistook me for a sinner
in the hands of an angry dog,
which accursed fate of mine unexpectedly
blessed with good luck
from the aforementioned canine
actually a bank **** in disguise,
he took me under his paw
and made no bones
about offering me accommodations
good and plenty of room
spacious doghouse despite puppies galore,
who romped around the greensward
becoming excellent at sports
climbing, frolicking,
and jumping over hurdles
(trained by none other than
the celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County)
surrounding the custom built dog house,
which domicile more like a mansion.

Sirius lee, I
(an infinitesimal speck in the cosmos –
veritably insignificant in the schema of things,
and buzzfeeding with a healthy helping
of existential nihilism),
nevertheless thank my lucky stars
for unseen small medium forces at large
that righted a wrong,
and to summarily recap
the debacle triggering a major crisis
with entrusted finances,
which found one Beatle browed,
foo fighting beastie boy
descending into the figurative
abysmal pit of despair
with a horrific prospect of becoming homeless
along with the missus
after an unbeknownst person
exhibited chutzpah and moxie
expunged, cashed out, and accessed
without sense and sensibilities every red cent
prompting me, a Citizen Banker
to rage against the machine
rivaling the wrath of King Kong
when he pounds his chest and bellows.

where amble lances
hurled with the might
of off fish hull seductress dances
setting figurative stage to take a bite
from canoodling beastie boy best eaten alive
or just after freshly being killed.

oblivious to the ramifications
courtesy the deafening ear splitting sound,
nor mindful of the devastating emotional fallout
lurking within outer limits of dark shadows
ineluctably drawn into ****** pacification,
yours truly surrendered
to the atavistic call of the wild.

heedless where "still thelassic waters run deep,"
I set the prow of skiff
christened Matthew Scott Harris
unbeknownst of the
shark and piranha infested waters
far from the pseudo sanctuary of safety
(way out of eyesight
and earshot of being rescued)
forsook being availed
from self destruction
courtesy the rocky shoal
littered with the detritus
flotsam, and jetsam
of lovely bones devoid of flesh
tell·tale sign of ferocious,
malicious, and vicious
maneaters particularly satiating
young stud muffins buffed
in the prime of their life
although if slim pickings occur
even old Norwegian Bachelor
spinning yarns about fictitious town
of Lake Woebegone, Minnesota
'where all the women are strong,
all the men are good looking,
and all the children are above average.'

Rather, I succumbed to primal urge
head over heels
far as the eye could see
barenaked ladies
blindsided yours truly
into a false sense of security,
where nymphs cavorted, sported
and particularly exhorted me
to forego sense and sensibility
and to ***** rationality,
where misfortune signaled my demise.

I insouciantly ignored a sixth sense
warning me against further trespass,
nevertheless overpowering temptation
for carnal desire
(read a strong longing
for physical or ****** pleasure
this despite being a married male,
albeit celibacy gripped ***** -
quizzically hardening prickliness
into test easy rider of decadence feeling
conflict against sacrosanct pledged troth
vows upended The vows:
"I, _, take thee, _,
to be my wedded wife/husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for none the richer, for none the poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance;
and thereto I pledge thee my faith"
entreating, kickstarting, and readily
zapping sacrilegious oath)
dwindling horniness linkedin
pacified tactile ******* zeal
to the point where ****** horns trumpet
voice of a castrato, a male singer
who castrated before puberty
since taking prescription medication
to quell generalized and performance anxiety,
especially when premature *******
compromised potential ******* ******
immediately tempering hormonal secretion
by **** tat videre licet limp libido
superseded voyaging into dangerfield
strewn with deadly landmines.

like the infinite vista
upon the midwestern plain
farther than the eyes of mine
(an ascetic and copacetic
shortsighted father of two grown
twenty something daughters)
can no longer see,
since sockets severely seared
staring at the hypnotic screen
blindsided courtesy the magnificent 7
(a group of seven
major technology companies
that consistently outperformed
the overall stock market,
particularly in recent years)
severed mine "ocular orbs,"
leaving a comfortably numbskull
bonafide USDA approved
nondescript puny skeleton
once sported a sexagenarian
sliding seventy inches
down into the behavioral sink
dwarfed by teeming masses
of dead people,
(who once possessed a sixth sense)
sporting telltale signs of misery
somnambulance courtesy prolonged insomnia
a sorry escape for a Dreamcatcher
standing under the dome (more so
wobbling on spindle shanks
awaiting Rita Hayworth
and Shawshank redemption),
though I never flinch
head and shoulders above me,
where their vestigial swallowed tail
(shriveled and atrophied coccyx
resembling dessicated wild asparagus),
the bony husk, the body, the firestarter
illustrating emotionally tattooed
generic common John Doe
among skeletal husks
of emaciated humans
wolfishly fighting over scraps
confusing yours truly (me)
as some tasty morsel
with weathered gristle
remains of the day
from a freshly fielded ****
concentration camp victim
mostly bleached lovely bones
charred courtesy bonfire of the vanities
the aftermath of cannibals
partying after experiencing ****** madness
strongly resembling animated
****** temple pilots
base sic lee emulating 10,000 maniacs
frolicking with more'n one
barenaked lady supertramp wannabe
turning her cheap trick
ohm my dog after getting a charge
quaffing electric kool aid acid test
gifted me with aforementioned hallucinations
to escape the cares and concerns
of an uncertain future,
hence I never wanna venture out
nor can yours truly (me)
break free and clear of this cell
tethered with omnipotent cables
of human *******
approximating as a quasi umbilical cord
housed in Apartment b44
analogous to be encapsulated
and livingsocial as if born again
within pseudo makeshift ******
no longer experiencing desperation
to venture outside
into the webbed wide world
because I feel safe and sound
ensconced under the covers
away from the coming fury
where opposing armies never call reatreat
meanwhile the cursor blinks
as the writer of these words sits stupefied
yawning chasms that could swallow a Mack truck
despite just arising
from a siesta moments ago
dead set to let thought unspool
analogous to a meandering river
baffling the casual observer
why a more direct route
from mountaintop to base
did not manifest destiny
"a riddle wrapped in a mystery
inside an enigma"
which origins of the phrase
can be traced back to a statement
made by Winston Churchill
in 1939 regarding the Soviet Union.

Yours truly (me)
just an ordinary primate from the human zoo,
who while ambling along
the boulevard of broken dreams on a Green Day
(just me and my shadow)
I experienced unexpected lionizing flattery
courtesy Pink Floyd,
he went ape and shouted "hey you"
out there in the cold
getting lonely, getting old
but honest to dog,
I took the road less traveled
unexpectedly encountering
fire breathing creatures
imagine dragons puffing
at these lovely bones
that constitute a generic guy,
a madding crowd qua at least one
with multiple talking heads
quite frightful harried styled beastly yahoo
primitive creature obsessed with "pretty stones"
popularized by Jonathan Swift
in the fourth section of Gulliver's Travels
trying their damndest to woo
yours truly, an aging baby boomer
and long haired styled pencil necked geek
he/him even extended
an invitation to their next venue
to frolic in the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee,
hence methought to spruce myself up
to undergo a major makeover
courtesy Salon Nova beauty technician,
and in one fell swoop
off went approximately a dozen inches
of mine lovely brunette locks of love
(tinged with natural gray),
and upon getting
to the house at Pooh Corner
I swiftly tailored mine appearance
showering and sudsing hair
with aforementioned product
(videre licet title of poem)
suddenly unconditionally loving
the new Matthew Scott Harris
immediately accepting an awesome
handsome kickass transformation
awash with true value,
especially after liberally appling
Eco Style Olive Oil Styling Gel
with damp hands quite a challenge,
but cap I did  eventually unscrew
ready to rock and roll with the Monkeys
(with other artists... Guess Who)
at a rave in Timbuktu,
whereat paparazzi snapped pictures
asking me to stand still as a statue
unexpectedly espying my likeness
in the next issue
of classy fashion magazine
nothing but accolades
with stunning photographs
populated the Harris review.

whereat the subsequent lines
lack any relation to the title
but like most every poetic endeavor
immediately becomes tangential
re: irrelevant to main subject of discussion,
digressing to unrelated points
characteristic of my trademark
swiftly styled and harried tailored,
and failing to return to original idea
with embedded symbolic logic
to better confuse the unsuspecting reader
which remaining written material
best understood after quaffing inxs of xylite
a liquid hydrocarbon
found in crude wood spirits,
or it can describe fossilized wood
that resembles brown coal
a natural sweetener
about 60% as sweet as sugar
often used in sugar-free foods
and beverages, such as chewing gum,
candies, and mouthwashes
distributed as door prizes
after elbow grease applied
leaving the inside
of the refrigerator
***** and span.

Not one square inch
of the once pristine
inside fridge no longer white
the wife begs to differ, whereby
even the pestiferous vermin
did protest and unite
against the glop and goo,
plus she claims
to be selectively color blind,
and thus defers her husband (me)
to tend to arduous
back breaking task tonight
since she knows how much
I like to bend over,
but actually on my hands and knees
while reaching with scrub daddy
(courtesy the famous cleaning influencer
Auri Kananen strong as an ox
a professional cleaner from Finland
popularized and touts said product),
but yours truly experiences back pain
that radiates to the sacral lumbar,
(and thus while reduced to crawling,
maneuvering left and right
on all fours, or tabletop position
I pray for Mary Poppins) quite
who hopefully can catch
the next umbrella express outright
and show up before night,
where dark shadows from
the outer limits of the twilight zone
within the bishopric of the king,
there once a pawn a time
accorded quite a bit of might
and as his mentor
lived a tarnished knight
essentially his incognito
cause at heart he claimed to be a Jacobite
stood about 182.88 centimeters in height
a rather diminutive chap,
and the proud papa
who never liked to quit
despite being diagnosed
with Parkinson's disease
a chronic, progressive neurological disorder
characterized by accumulation
of a protein called
alpha-synuclein in the brain
where respected researchers
suggests that alpha-synuclein
may trigger an autoimmune response,
leading to the destruction of brain cells
since questions arose about his death
a funeral director, a forensic archaeologist
or anthropologist, a medical professional
(like a forensic pathologist),
an Environmental Health Officer (EHO),
or a specialized exhumation firm,
depending on the circumstances
and jurisdiction his body electric
exhumed from gravesite
exhibiting more than one odd tick,
and new breakthroughs did excite
the biomedical engineers
discovered his essential tremors
perfectly synchronized
with Foucault's pendulum
and thus allowed, enabled,
and provided an excellent opportunity
for the author of these words
to surpass his prior appellation
linkedin to questionable supposition
he got erroneously hashtagged
and mistakenly reported
by Walter Leland Cronkite
an American broadcast journalist
who served as anchorman
for the CBS Evening News
from 1962 to 1981
unwittingly and accidentally uttered a faux pas
back in the day as idiot savant
now referred to as savant syndrome
or, in some contexts, autistic savant
nevertheless when here along,
he did rank (cull) as king of blatherskite.

Regarding unexpected Gadshill gift
(as if delivered from Magi)
tamper proof wrapped,
thus an obligation goads me
to communicate following
trademarked™ poetically apt
reasonable rhyme capped
with feeble airborne attempt,

no matter arms waved futilely,
madly, and ridiculously flapped
fortunately I eluded being kidnapped
by men in white coats
spellbound and rapt
before arriving at 20965 Young Avenue
Bend, Oregon 97703-8461
without energy being zapped.

The abovementioned transmission to whit
hesitantly, yet immediately, wisely scuttled
cuz analogous to Icarus, a free spirit
ignoring Daedalus warning soaring
too close to the sun
earning stronger epithet than "you nit"

true to adolescent hubris,
the son blithely ignoring
his father as a hypocrite,
but honest to goodness truthfulness
of above line entails
caution and discretion I readily admit.

Just now, I sample
Navitas Organics blueberry
hemp power snack(s)
wondering how many chewy squares
yours truly needs to consume
before me noggin
goes wickety wickety wack,

but... just maybe amply ingested
cubed plant based superfood
could allow, enable and
provide me means to take flight,
whereby off gray carpeted tarmac
goes Matthew Scott Harris.

So best be on the lookout okey doke
for one nondescript buzzfeeding bloke
long haired pencil necked geek fella,
who juiced awoke
and suddenly found himself at Trader Joe's
(with a twenty dollar gift card)
among garden variety generic folk
such as special people spanning Costco calendar,

who sport and trumpet surnames such as
Dunning, Harris, McGeehan no joke,
yet amidst madding crowd there could be
spy versus spy donning dagger and cloak.
anyway hoop fully thee above laughter did evoke,
perhaps e'en yar own literary juices
I didst unwittingly stoke.

The word "it" is a pronoun,
a word used in place of a noun
to refer to a person, place, thing, or idea.

As a pronoun, "it"
is a third-person singular form
used as a subject or object
within a sentence.

I do not like starting, ending,
nor using the word it in a sentence
because ambiguity prevails
about what exactly it refers to whence
yours truly prefers the specificity
of more precise person, place or thing,
and attempts to be more definitive
versus leaving the reader
perched on a figurative fence,
thus I will go out of my linguistic way
to pause how to express intention hence
phrase a question or statement atypically
to escape the vagueness it connotes
even though any other ordinary person
asking what might be straight forward
entails the unwitting recipient
what competes as a dissertation
or novel to read at their sanity or expense
and no doubt smoldering rage
rises within their being
far surpassing a nearby
fire breathing amazing dragon,
who gets as angry as a red bull
igniting impossible mission to quell
essentially tossing out the book
how to resolve a win/win conflict
applying sensibility and sense
out of the question so...
the choice modus operandi
necessitates to carry on camping
despite the rancor being intense.

Honest to dog,
I did not expect a near apocalypse
figuratively shooting from the hips
taking poetic license
to express my aversion
against speaking or writing
the word with the two letters
each pronounced as eye and tea respectively
(taboo to me, and more offensive
then any expletive),
now I promise to keep sealed lips
for all eternity
exception to the rule being quips
reiterating penchant to steer clear
of couched Freudian slips,
where the idler wheel wiser
than the driver of the *****
and whipping cords
will serve you (a vip)
more than ropes will ever do
end of poetic endeavor
from one fascinating mensch,
who resides within 19473 coded zip.
There might be compatibility yet
even though this wordsmith,
even though, or maybe because
author of Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania
a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma,
especially if your figurative appetite
for comprehension I did whet
because all joking aside
just because I shun the word coded as 9-20
(so called the A1Z26 cipher
or letter number cipher)
doth newt make me a threat
but more to the point this doggone
could be your human therapy pet
and if the cosmic bodies align
we could create our own little kinglet
be it as it may, but...
methinks thee might well hurl unprintable epithet.

and a lesson about pi (π) to boot
whether or not you give a hoot
and thee never foresaw
that above identified representation
would be incorporated
with poetry until yours truly
came into the scene,
but similar to the importance of pi (π)
thee my cannot escape
the omnipresent application
of valuable tidbit
unless of course we make a deal,
whereat you fork over so much loot,
but knowing that thee author of these words
will NOT be writhing in cognitive dissonance,
as he claims to do one action,
but ***** nilly does another
just like impossible mission
to escape the notion of square root,
WHAT, who do you think you might be kidding,
and pass up a golden opportunity
to wreak havoc
within noggin of anonymous sufferer
who will NOT be radical
and expound with gumption
upon the √ symbol,
(neither fat nor slim chance
yours truly – me will let thee
off the hook without eating my words,
especially feeling thee
squirming within mine grasp)
used to denote square root or nth roots,
whereby square root a number
that, when multiplied by itself,
produces a given number
illustrated by following example,
whereat the square root of 9 equals 3
because 3 multiplied
by itself (3 x 3) equals 9,
and square root operation
the inverse of squaring a number.

Not a single person "discovered" pi;
rather, the mathematical constant π (pi)
recognized and approximated independently
by mathematicians across different cultures
and time periods
from ancient Greeks,
including Archimedes,
who developed sophisticated geometrical methods
to approximate pi's value,
characterized as essential for practical
and theoretical applications, whereas
later mathematicians,
such as the Chinese scholar Zu Chongzhi,
built upon these methods
to achieve even greater accuracy.

Once again for the umpteenth time
like an awful nightmare
recurring like non-repeating decimal
such as pi (π) ala mode - ha,
the unchanging mathematical constant
represents ratio of a circle's circumference
(the distance around it) to diameter
(the distance across it through the center),
and no matter the size of the circle,
said ratio always the same,
approximately 3.14159,
NOT the value of 22/7
above denoted fraction
represents commonly used
rational approximation for π
an infinite, non-repeating number
called an irrational number
and because illustrious symbol
ranks as an irrational number,
the decimal representation
goes on infinitely
without any repeating pattern,
unlike rational numbers,
which have decimals
that either terminate
(like 1/4 = 0.25) or repeat
in a predictable sequence
(like 1/3 = 0.333...),
pi's digits never settle
into finite mathematical arrangement
unlike male pattern baldness.

Now if you will politely excuse
I need to contact all vendors/
merchants linkedin to newest card
in order update payment method
within a timely fashion
after substantial balance
in new account adequate
lest necessary products and services
brought to a crashing halt.

The list of agencies that warrant
urgent and immediate attention
at the mercy of bank colleague
gohar dot mukhtarzada at sign
citizensbank dot com,
and for ease of sparing
getting the client
(such as myself in this case),
she refers to herself as Jojo,
and now I feel linkedin at her mercy
since issues regarding fraud,
and squaring away
closing one checking account
and creating a new one,
the domain within her expertise,
and must wait until Monday September 22nd
two thousand and twenty five
before tending to the adventurous, enormous,
fortuitous, gracious, humungous,
illustrious, judicious, onerous,
and tedious task more difficult
than threading a camel
thru the eye of a (quite sizable) needle
(been there done that).

Truth be told after
the unwelcome webbed,
wide world series of unfortunate events
(where checking account subjected
to fraudulent activity
to the tune of thousands of dollars,
(or try whistling said statement to Dixie),
no matter how many time
user name and password change –
the virtual interloper stealthily robbed me
prodding one angry as a red bull netizen
to culminate notifying the billing office
(if unable or unwilling
to tackle the task of replacing
vis a vis modus operandi
with fresh spanking new debit card),
yet completing the process
for countless websites
linkedin with revised payment method
could almost be done
when asleep with hands
tied behind my back.

to tickle your fancy dear reader rabbit,
perchance European G-man double agent
regarding the following poem
with kick a$$, je ne sais quois
ingenious, humorous bent
even though reasonable rhyme
mebbe worth no mo' than ten cent
doth quickly make descent
from ridiculous to sublime

and/or visa versa poetic event
trademark courtesy one
sexagenarian formerly fervent
nonestablishmentarian
long haired pencil necked
geeky, dorky, and nerdy
January born quirky,
Yankee doodling gent.

Anyway, as usual I blog alone
(today January 25th, 2025)
while this Poe whit carries a wish bone
but, tis just me and my future self as a crone
that amble along the boulevard,
while over head buzzes a sir valence drone
blares out an air/ear splitting command
courtesy shift shaping mega fone
which induces my quietude to groan
and find an escape to hone
salvation espied by mirage

sans a balmy isotone
echoing refrains from Joan
E Mitchell, a great Danish dame
panhandling for ample *krone
so she not forced
to borrow money from a loan
where her former renown
a distant memory, she doth moan
as if attacked by a shark,
who resembles Jimmy Neutron

alias Matthew Scott Harris, who as soon
as he dubbed pipsqueak
that gave him greenlight
to trumpet as firebrand
nonestablishmentarian prone
gives a electronic shout out
to Louise Quattrone yours truly
doth remember a “big sister”
assigned to eldest daughter of mine
scads of years ago

which mismatch recollected just now
while engaged in a impossible mission
to stake out a quone,
while sheepishly at bay astride to the rite,
a beast of burden wearing
horn rimmed glasses tinted qua *roan
cuz the blinding light shone
into the outer limits
from azure vault -
a dark shadows rogues

veritable night gallery
over a sinister tombstone
four after midnight emanating
on an eerie, freaky Friday
the thirteenth accompanied courtesy
frightful monster tone
scaring living daylights
out the skin of yours truly,
who found himself parent trap
accentuating, illuminating, undulating
the outer limits of twilight zone.

a$$ star risked words valid
first to last defined below
based on the merits of google:

I hate to burden thee with confusing starry eyed confusion, but each cardinal numbers of asterisk corresponds to a brief description.
1.an old woman thin and ugly
nevertheless all pretty things, she does oogle.
2. any of two or more species of atoms
or nuclei with same number of neutrons
3. basic monetary unit of Denmark and Norway,
equal to 100 øre.
4. watch "The Stakeout" episode
of television series "Seinfeld."
5. denoting an animal,
especially a horse or cow,
their coat of a main color
thickly interspersed with hairs
of another color,
typically bay, chestnut,
or black mixed with white.

I decided to title my piece
a concatenation of a few different notions
incorporating fictional romance
alluding to myself and spouse
in conjunction with hybridization
stemming from vague references
to tried and true value
tangentially sparring with Cinderella
but giving the following
free verse poem a slight twist and shout.

I take the liberty to contrive
a fictional tale of make believe
where faux royalty
née monarchical rule
encompassed great swaths of land
long before Lower Merion
coalesced into an enclave
and concentration of wealthy MainLiners,
which kingdom or fiefdom of Europeans
more or less duplicated
the type of government
from the so called old country
allocating the then sparse population
into a hierarchy or pecking order
where arranged marriages
sealed the fate of those
most aggressive to dominate
those people rather submissive and meek,
whose role became passive and subservient
to the dominant and overbearing
dons trumpeting might is right.  

The princess of Penn Valley
and the pauper of Collegeville
unbeknownst to each other,
(though they lived approximately
twenty miles from each other,
each existed hundreds of years apart),
nevertheless they would meet and marry
five months later predicated on pastiche
tenuously linkedin to
the Victorian era and the Modernist period
a daughter born to first time mother.

Iniquities heaped
upon head of Penn Valley princess...,
whose brutish, nasty
and short twisted sisters
relentlessly tormented their sibling
then out of desperation,
she wed Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
who kept her in a pumpkin shell.

Just by chance I happened
to hear the quiet lament
a damsel in distress
surreptitiously signaled knight
whose newborn baby
suckling at the ample *****
one shining armor,
yours truly himself donned role
though hashtagged as pawn,
he convinced said lass
to accept unconditionally
unbridled love his hands
grasping those soft fingers
of a young mother with innocence,
yet full of wisdom
beyond scant seventeen years a
slave in the role
of scullery maid ****** courtesy
when one generation
prior to another
one poor lass barely out
of childhood when a series
of unfortunate events -
found lass gravid
with child automatically denying
only scant opportunities
for escaping mean vicious
cycle, thus unbeknownst
to chivalrous brave heart
fictionalized as the writer
of these words me, whose
overzealous overactive imagination
expounded one being born
hundreds of years ago,
when bulk of folks agrarian
at a time when many
if not most civilizations and
their discontents
could never have foreseen
nor believe as an eye witness
time traveler reported
videre licet onset of The now
Fifth Industrial Revolution
(5IR), also known as
Industry 5.0 represents
a new phase of industrialization
characterized by the harmonious collaboration
between humans
and advanced technologies,
particularly AI and robotics.

It builds upon the
Fourth Industrial Revolution (Industry 4.0),
focusing on a more human-centric approach,
increased resilience, and a stronger emphasis
on sustainability.

This shift emphasizes
the importance of human creativity and skills
alongside machine capabilities, aiming
for greater societal well-being.

Key aspects of the Fifth Industrial Revolution:
Human-Machine Collaboration:
The core concept is the integration
of human intelligence and skills
with the speed, productivity,
and consistency of machines.

Sustainability:
5IR prioritizes environmental
and societal impact, moving
beyond purely economic value
to encompass broader concepts
like human well-being.

Cognitive Intelligence:
The rise of advanced AI,
particularly technologies like GPT models,
is a driving force in this revolution,
leading to the creation of cognitive partners
that can augment human capabilities.

Focus on Human-Centeredness:
5IR aims to create a more
human-centric approach to technology,
ensuring that it serves the needs
of people and society,
rather than the other way around.

Increased Resilience:
The ability of systems to adapt
and recover from disruptions
is a key aspect of 5IR,
particularly in areas
like supply chains and manufacturing.

as does yours truly,
whose ecological ethos
goes out the window
into the cold freezing iceland
prompting the following balderdash.

Upon the advent of an unexpected inspection
slated for tomorrow January 24th, 2025
myself and the missus,
(the latter bedridden
due to feeling physically unwell)
scrambled like the dickens (Charles to you)
to play merry maid to buckle down
and break a sweat sweeping and vacuuming,
plus applying the BISSELL
PROHEAT PETTURBO RUG CLEANER.

Many materials we would ordinarily and regularly
bring to a facility like GIANT,
(a market we ordinarily, rarely,
and unusually purchase food items),
nevertheless our goto place
for purportedly recycling
went into the dumpster
already filled to the brim
just like the nineteen eighties
television commercial with the same name,
whereby an attractive woman
proffers a steamy cup
to an equally pleasing looking man.

Analogous to being hashtagged as sacrilegious
indiscriminately tossing to and fro, hither and yon
so called "garbage,"
yet in the ideal world
disposable items videre licet
reusable processed goods
repurposed in a future life
perhaps as useful commodity
such as a handy dandy blues clues moon unit
linkedin with environmental principles
versus admission of guilt ridden conscious
in the eyes of Gaia more appropriate
for a heretical miscreant, reprobate or worse.

What began as blithe
indifference to mother nature
(justified with the excuse
that me wife ill with pneumonia,
and the weather way to cold
to be pitching recyclables
into their proper receptacles)
can easily, invariably, and logically manifest
into incorrigible criminal behavior
sending yours truly
sliding down into behavioral sink
found among the madding crowd
within densely populated urban areas
courtesy from the late Tom Wolfe,
who penned an Essay by the same name.

He discusses the problems of overcrowding
in cities and the resulting stress
and adrenaline rush it causes.

The combination of stress and overcrowding
causes citizens to turn into malevolent behavior,
where humans turn into ‘bilious, nephritic,
queer, autistic, sadistic, barren, batty, sloppy,
hot in the pants, changed on the flankers,
leering, puling (a real word meaning
whimpering, crying, sobbing, bleating and numb)
Wolfe suggests that such behavior all-consuming
in its malevolence and makes the people fight
with each other for a small amount
of private space around themselves.
Thus, the above urban jungle environment,
would gladly and matter of factly welcome
vis a vis honorable "Konnichiwa"
witnessing me gracefully
stepping upon Scottish red carpet,
and not even notice
nonestablishmentarians subversive characteristics
as an antithetical agent provocateur,
whose hunger for knowledge vis avis car earring
(and car rue ming) cerebrum formulated,
integrated, promulgated personal perception
to the point of no return, (meaning
culling, fomenting, inciting,
et cetera velvet revolution),
as fait accompli and inadvertently
bringing to fruition basic, dogmatic, enigmatic,
fatalistic heuristic life lessons.

The fabulist, dualistic capacity averred
videre licet Zoroastrianism
figuratively pitched this contemplative,
furtive, intuitive literate organic, realistic,
universalistic, wanderer yearning instinctive
modalities metamorphosing this quizzically
opportunistic, philosophically naturalistic,
officially matt tea realistic, and sometime
prophesying prognosticating probing outlier.

As a nonestablishmentarian libertarian, joy
riding heretic, feasting dishabille ***,
I contemplated the capacity quasi duality
of human being to co-exist inside the
labyrinth of mental learning.

Quite often reconciliation
between the angel of come
passion stood opposite intent (with
minimal effort to foment) malicious
intent toward evil.

This constant tug of war
(within depths of psyche) perched
psychological state upon precarious pivot.

Balance between righteousness verses
barb barrack ken of villainy engendered
warp and woof of noble might undermined
via ignoble, infamous injudicious threnody
thru the countless millennia, when many
an outstanding wizard served as a prime
mover and shaker to boost betterment
of so called civilized state with the bane
of anarchy, disintegration, gallimaufry
always in the vanguard.

Manifold milieus, which witnessed
civilizations rise and
fall became bereft of equilibrium
between forces of growth and decay.

The feature of intransigence (as a
free roaming derelict agent) and
dominant characteristic
of contemporary society.

Basking in a supine position
with eyes wide shut
while the space heater churns out
fast moving molecules of heat
solitudinarian drowsy thinker fêted
by miniature fantasy
of tropical island paradise
accompanying and populating slumber
courtesy flickering, mesmerizing,
undulating barenaked native nymphs

tricked out as miniscule floaters
drifting across field of vision
striking atavistic memories,
where yours truly revels
within toasty warm bedroom
succumbing into deep sleep
resurrecting dormant primal hallucinations
redolent of Neanderthal forebears,
who huddled around the hearth
lo and behold discovery

evident after eldest sister of Harris tribe,
videre licet raw bits of genetic material
submitted saliva specimen
to 23andMe
since shut down by the FDA
because of the said
company's aggressive marketing
and refusal to resolve
outstanding data issues.

Impossible mission to stay awake
and fend off feeling sleepy
analogous to being drugged
not even long enough
to attend a yawning festival,
thus once upon a time
approximately half life
of Matthew Harris ago
indefatigable body of mine
weathered blistering fatigue
with endurance to dance the night away,
where lively contra dance music
played onstage and participants
tirelessly whooped up with energetic glee
experienced the equivalent headiness
linkedin with physical *******.

Now as a sexagenarian to boot,
who recently underwent a makeover
former trademark characteristic
of baby boomer no longer sports
talking head being hirsute
subsequently analogous to Samson
powerfulness of body,
no greater than a newt
while I lay me down to sleep
cerebral cogs and wheels troubleshoot
envisioning yours truly (me)
reincarnated donning myself

wearing a broad-shouldered drape jacket,
balloon-leg trousers,
and, sometimes, a flamboyant hat
decked out sporting,
what came to be recognized as zoot suit
generally worn by the following:
white Americans, police officers,
and U.S. Soldiers, the suits
became a symbol of excess,
anti-patriotism, and
anti-American sentiment,
as well as gang affiliation.

I get tired of being tired
hence ask the missus to make high test coffee,
which jolt of caffeine finds me wired
but back in the day
I acquired a gold card
patronizing General Nutrition Center
and bought one product in particular,
which affected me with outcome I desired.

And thus I crafted sub verse,
whereby yours truly conceives
poem titled Guarana Mo by Jeeves.

Most of the following (fictitious)
quintessential balderdash
ranks as sorry excuse for originality, writ
nevertheless mishmash qualifies
according to humble opinion of mine
reasonable rhyme for mediocrity,
benignly, essentially, and honestly to wit
to test skill at heart felt fabrication like me,
thus exempting bing considered, judged,

and labeled tubby unfit
wall henna burst of
playful tulles toy warren peace,
bawling contrived sketched
piddling potchking pusillanimous
Monty Python's Flying Circus twit,
this once upon a time pablum child,
aye practically spit
out (from inxs of carrot juice),

now dost daringly be hove
brave reeder to comprehend
as great literary endeavor
by this hare reed rabbit,
head, (non adult tryst) pit,
nor posthumous fame, worm ma obit
chew wary verbosely probably re:nouns,
abominable attempt as Unitarian
worthy reading material

so great English lit,
and moost unlikely tuff hind,
nor e'en garner this hare reed
ole Union Jack of a one hit
wonder poetic laureate,
nonetheless this (o'
waa hare did me bunny go),
perhaps to Britain endeavoring merely
to join United Kingdom.

Now let yours truly whoop
focus to address main intent,
(sans for quick pick me up)
and nary drop of coffee,
nope not even one molecule
to fill thimbleful sized cup
I reach for bottle of Guarana,
(one serving of
coffee per capsule)

fo' this aging pup,
who attests that caffeine
(liquid and/or
encapsulated), the sole vice
(except for barbiturates, *******,
"FAKE" opioid, et cetera),
which overdose nearly found me
nearly a grateful dead – thrice
occasions, where circumstances

of mouse self
(Stuart Little reincarnate -
with an insatiable craving for cheese
laced with Guarana, Paullinia cupana,
a climbing plant in the maple family),
which bean sized seeds
affordable at an acceptable price
many times larger than puffed rice.

Summation of achievements
wrought absolute zero
pridefulness to self -
a veritable highstrong yoyo
(lame at walking the dog)
a solitudinarian devoid of xoxo
methinks (writer of these words)
Hebrew a legacy of woe
courtesy self apathy
expanding across his mein kampf
on a broader scale
analogous to predicted fallout from Project 2025,
where resultant mayhem
will trigger widespread societal upheaval
upending progressive socialism
videre licet flick of the wrist veto
where democracy writhes vis a vis death throw
signature of forty seventh president
of the United States,
the septuagenarian who trumpets hegemony,
and dons hat of dictator carte blanche
a caricature of a contortionist
trotting out dog and pony show
the former a growling
super gnasher tooth flasher
(actual name of a book title
written by Daniel Pinkwater
and featured on Reading Rainbow
Episode 8 in Season 7
and originally aired on March 28, 1990),
which year a tad less than my half-life ago
when this "Froggie Went a Courtin'"
an amphibious embarkation  
whereat yours truly pitched hither and yon,
to and fro within a tempestuous relationship
with the then girlfriend
who visited me at 324 Level Road
(the vestige of Glen Elm Estate
whittled down to about a half dozen acres
with trace of formal gardens
long since reclaimed by mother nature
as overgrown woodland)
my boyhood domicile,
but became a permanent fixture
within the Harris household
constantly assailing me
to pledge my troth
after we already
consummated consensual coitus
aptly enough at the
Evansburg Park residence of Steve Cummings
(principally prompted with reckless abandon
by unsheathed phallus)
******* occurred countless times,
though devoid of mutual (of Omaha)
fundamental ******* prolongation
courtesy hair trigger minute man of mine,
which got fired
from his miniscule silo
discovering seminal virility sometime
around mid March of nineteen ninety six
when we became ensnared in the parent trap
on a freaky Friday - the ides of March
where we bickered over
what to name the unborn child
gender revealed at ultrasound
during the second trimester,
typically between eighteen
and twenty two weeks of pregnancy,
but by the second trimester,
the baby's genitals are developed enough
for the sonographer
to identify the *** with reasonable certainty,
which bouncing baby girl
set the wife on buying sprees
at upscale thrift stores within environs
around 2700 Elroy Avenue Hatfield,
which afforded a grand view
of a meat processing plant
the first apartment complex
we moved into after pledging our troth
yours truly designated as a forerunner
to quasi proto doordash
heavily patronizing Boston Market
temporarily escaping vocalizing future star student
who also tested her pipes
when we settled down to sleep
all three of us crammed upon a crib mattress
keeping the bedroom door closed
a minor inconvenience
against an undeterred plague of water bugs,
whose population kept in check
by sprinkling borax powder
underneath sink, where they throve
within the warm and damp plumbing fixtures.

I considered myself sophisticated and wise,
but the addictive power of texting
and subsequently sexting
took me by surprise,
and impossible mission to neutralize
despite experiencing scraping rock bottom
as emotional lows courtesy accusations
from the alewife, nevertheless
communication, envisioning, and flirting
with a veritable unknown females
generates testosterone filled highs
diatribes hurled lambasting me
despite trying to articulate
faux convincing alibis.

As a recent newbie to accessing
Facebook (Meta) Messenger
(similar to any other social media platform)
one offered feature
constitutes Friend request option,
which function when answered
in the affirmative
courtesy the recipient
activates modus operandi
and implied netiquette,
where veritable strangers
lost in cyberspace
immediately finds him/herself linkedin to
plethora of potential physical entanglements
with members of the same
or opposite genders
leaving little or no opportunities
for platonic friendship
the somewhat limited
level of familiarity yours truly seeks,
apropos to a married former agrarian
Norwegian bachelor farmer,
barbarian, communitarian, disestablishmentarian,
equalitarian, grammarian, latitudinarian,
nonvegetarian, sexagenarian, utilitarian,
Unitarian, and non Aryan.
Though just a run of mill (by the pond)
generic guy with negligible qualities to boast
before long, I found myself
without absolute zero self discipline
to cease reciprocating with unknown
from across the webbed wide world,
and excitement coursed
thru every pore of mine
for adventure found me blithely engrossed
as these not
so nimble butter fingers
analogous to that sensation,
when betting on when my ship comes in
(ideally laden with riches)
after traveling the seven seas
for numerous orbitz around the sun
(escaping countless mutinous crisis
linkedin with humorous,
pirate, or vaccination conspiracies aye
unable to avoid an impost
courtesy Trump economics,
which favors the one percent
and impinges those people dirt poor
(like yours truly)
bumping uglies along the nethermost
at risk for becoming indigent
reduced to eat burnt offerings
vis a vis rotten stale toast.

If perchance ye dear unknown reader
espy a scruffy Unitarian, sexagenarian
reincarnated Union soldier to boot
donning dark blue wool uniform
consisting of a "sack coat" (jacket),
blue wool trousers, a forage cap
(hat with a leather visor),
and leather brogan shoes
but currently spends
his senior citizen days
as a present day panhandling chap,
who makes sounds courtesy his glute
after living on beans
cue Blazing Saddles,
with a cheeky bit part
yours truly starred
where stage got set at Moyer's dump
ofttimes declared a superfund site
for air he did pollute.

yours truly (me) could not help but notice
while living social at various residences  
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the following described phenomena
actually observed quite some time ago
maybe back during
my carefree boyhood days of yore
that the uncontrollable spurt
analogous to a golden arch
of micturition arcing
toward parts unknown
(frequently missing the target altogether,

and wetting the seat
subsequently displeasing the next person
more often than not the missus,
who sits upon wet porcelain goddess)
initially issuing from out
my diminutive male member,
(even when fully *****,
no longer than
a small walking stick
for a lucky leprechaun),
when said jet stream
makes splashy contact

affecting fountainhead into pissoir,
whereby a bathroom
tchotchke of Atlas shrugged,
which non verbal reaction spoke volumes,
the direction water got flushed within *****
subsequently clearly described
a clockwise pattern
whooshing within the labyrinth
eventually getting routed
to wastewater treatment plant
at least here within the bowels
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually even after flushing,
or using the sink to wash hands,
the water also drained
mimicking rotation of second
or minute hands of analog time pieces.

After finding myself
flush with excitement
presuming I discovered
some great earth shaking revelation,
a Google search quickly
and immediately chastened
premature ******* of excitement
that yours truly stumbled
upon magnificent phenomena
and matter of factly explained
the direction a toilet flushes,
whether clockwise or counterclockwise,

primarily determined
by the design of the toilet bowl
and the water jet's direction,
not by the Earth's rotation
(Coriolis force), which often mistakenly
believed to be the cause;
meaning the flush direction
can vary even within the same hemisphere
due to different toilet designs,
not necessarily consistent
with the "clockwise
in the Northern Hemisphere" myth.

Though negligible communication
now transpires between us
twenty seven years ago
come February fourth,
two thousand and twenty five,
our lives (affecting yours truly
and that of mother, plus Eden
a caring older sister)
irrevocably changed for the better,
when thee came into our world
as a bundle of joy
courtesy those who helped beget thee,
(then albeit skinny lovely bones)
over the course of years
witnessed an attractive gal
with meaty legs
versus spindleshanks of mine,
the laughingstock of humanity.

Blessed intervention predicated
on congenital developmental delay,
the unknowable outcome
figuratively rollicking and rolling in the hay,
nevertheless upon mine conscience
shortfall of breached
marital accountability doth lay
videre licet I as derelict
couched pseudonym regarding Casanova role
as illicit philanderer father
countless years gone elapsed already,
when during your oblivious
raging (with ear splitting screams)
against the human machine
constituting one frustrated little girl,
(which good and plenty intervention provided),
nevertheless being saddled with lions share
coordinating much sought after
and needed professional care
found me at my wits end
to provide healthy mental,
physical and spiritual
environment for offspring,
the piper forever I must pay
displeased with flagrant behavior
haunts me even today
psyche of mine cleaved,
though impossible mission
to discern said indiscretion
never visible courtesy the most powerful X-ray.

We (mother and I) lament
your earlier emotionally, financially,
and spiritually tortured existence
despite best intentions
to seek out countless supportive services
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
indirectly implicating the papa
more so than the mama
regarding inadvertent deprivation
of your healthy support
for proper development
of mental, physical and spiritual well being.

Still hollow words wrench
cleaving pierces psyche
my beautiful daughter
finding her sea legs, and break
king away from papa,
now bobbing along to make
riding meandering time stream
with strong-armed emotions,
clasps hold of faith
and Zarathushtra thus spake
matured years of teenage existence
awoke realm of opportunity,
an expanse to acquire experiential knowledge,
which scary risk taking,
this papa can proudly cheer
stretches per recent
days and weeks of four seasons
father time exceeding
safe mode for operating gear
metaphorical chronological mechanism
in league with grim reaper who doth leer,
as days stealthily creep silently as cats paws
along the outer limits of the twilight zone
adjacent to edge of night
dark shadows stealing another day
no plying brakes to stop unseen gizmo,
and only power to foray
backward to real or imagined
drag 'gin moments of nostalgia
seductive like the fragrance of fresh mown hay,
yet tis fool hardy to ruminate past joys
and/or sorrows,
but rather from fount of here and now
take figurative bull by the horns -
with courage enjoy dance of life
this dada glad ye sashay
along corridors encompassing
present realm of possibilities,
though anxious and nervous tap
into unbridled zealousness
(reined in by fear - case in point
asper my prepubescence)
be your kickstarter to rap
in sync with rhythm within your lovely bones,
and abide inner
global positioning satellite to map
best path for beloved forever loved trooper
(citing completed college courses,
linkedin with gainful employment
comprising admirable curriculum vitae),
cuz aye enthusiastically clap
though thee not hear,
how delighted how ye benefited
from uber created adventurous tales,
that doth rival any from Aesop
fable, yet nonetheless the story of your life
heading in one direction
to heights yet realized - perhaps one day
carrying the genetic torch to next generation
for thee existence in mine life
more precious than materiel acquisition
or fine spun gold,
this father vicariously witnessed blossoming
of his punim, gratitude prevails
ye contributed to my narration future chapters,
I await your accomplishments with exaltation
more understandable if and when
ye experience being a parent.

yielded following resultant fiction,
which arbitrarily selected thread
first popped into my head
considered one among many possible
near infinite concocted scenarios
arose up, thus continue at your own risk
only entertainment ye need dread.

When just a ruthless babe at me mother's breast
already talking fluently and creating
one after another prolific
literary pièce de résistance
superbly peppered with eloquent, magnificent,
and significant turns of phrases,
not surprisingly needless
to say (or type) excessive
and uncontrollable talking,
often seen in individuals
experiencing psychomotor agitation
and visual hallucinations
severely disrupted with being nursed
more than a few months courtesy
when my twenty four year old mom,
whose milk (holy cow -
she uddered) and air supply exhausted
inexplicably and simultaneously dried up anyway
and her *******
became shriveled like that of a crone,
(the above half dozen statements predicated on fact),
thus wet nurses brought in
from all four corners of the globe
with near identical
repeated outcomes prevailed videre licet,
whereby every buxom gal
(succumbed to mysterious malady)
no matter previously
rigorously, intensely screened
and declared fit as a fiddle
and strong as a brick Scheißhaus
met an identical demise as dear old mutter
unexpectedly collapsed in a heap
punctuated by disequilibrium
linkedin to an error message
found in open source coding
of their operating system
compromising respective body electric,
which signal effects
one need be mindful of
somehow attributed
to unfettered loquacity
of mine include exhaustion
on unsuspecting listeners or readers
frequently inducing immediate
and non stop yawning,
and worse case scenario
witnesses - said innocent recipient(s)
subjected to vocalizations
and/or writings of Matthew Scott Harris
even for the briefest moment of time
and naturally the impact
directly proportional to proximity to me,
thus should a series
of unfortunate find thee
in my company - watch out,
you better not cry,
better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Perkiomen Valley poet is comin' to town
cuz such close contact
people known to perish from this earth
in no uncertain terms
how, when, where or why,
though president Donald Trump
intends to make unclassified
once top secret information.

While both parents
(actually they got classed
as child prodigies and satisfactorily)
earned requisite credits to graduate,
with honors of course across dual majors,
plus acquired doctorate degrees to boot
from Cooper Union College
for the Advancement of Science and Art
located at 30 Cooper Square
in New York, NY 10003
in the East Village of Manhattan,
close to Washington Square Park
and Greenwich Village

Despite years of deep Freudian analysis,
the pathologically excessive
(and often incoherent)
talking or writing only worsened
until the present moment
February thirteenth
two thousand and twenty four
of this free verse poetic assay
(as fingers blithely did sashay
across the qwerty keyboard)
emphatic issuance
of uber deadly oral ejaculations
and/or transmitting electronic gobbledygook
put the missus in comatose state,
where I can hear her snoring.

in unrelenting deep purple Depeche Mode crisis...

the yeast you could do
for a crusty and crabby old man,
(who I know
like the back of my clawed hand),
albeit well bred wordsmith doth wonder,
whose person analogously baited
courtesy being at the receiving end
of one after another phishing schemes
whereat identity thieves stole
loot linkedin with checking account
making out like Smokey and the Bandits
appellation Matthew Scott Harris
whose finances compromised and rent asunder,
hence, he desperately needs
for peace of mind to bolster meager funds
by hook or crook
scaring up dough or bread
cuz he doth really knead
to get himself out of the red
even in an attempt to garner pocket change
courtesy when a Facebook messenger
did send him (meaning me) Zelle provisions,
he (I) went on a wild goose chase
unwittingly and to be truthfully honest,
yours truly subsequently hoisted himself
with one's (his) own petard
invariably "victimized
or hurt by his own scheme."

Unbeknownst to the writer of these words
if he can connive videlicet
raking in some bucks
and celebrate quaffing White Zinfandel
broadcasting desperate need for moolah
other than by a rebel yell
(calling upon necessity,
the mother of invention
to plant seed of acquiescence)
analogous to toss a coin into a wishing well
within the mind of countless readers
who at the least give me credit for trying
to compose prose like freestyle
versus following the dictate
and mandate of say a villanelle
who do not dismiss my cents less twattle
but avoid being dilatory
and lo and behold respond "Mach schnell"
gift mine panic stricken state and quell
such agitation by buzzfeeding
nattering nabob of nativity
paying me in the equivalent
of money strongly resembling
chocolate tin foil covered pizzelle
despite thoughts ricocheting pell-mell
humor the best medicine in a nutshell
in my mind to cope with adversity
never experienced by Matty Mattel
whereat the character "Matty"
from the Mattel logo
not invented by a specific individual;
rather, the character derived
from the name of the company, Mattel,
which itself is a combination
of the names of Mattel co-founders,
Harold Matson and Elliot Handler;
they also agreed to include serrated seal logo,
designed in 1955, featured a small boy
wearing a crown, who got named Matty,
referencing the company's name
which female counterpart
to above toy named "Labelle"
a French term, meaning
"the beautiful one" (feminine)
often used as a nickname,
particularly in the context
of beauty or attractiveness.

please oh lord brace and fix me with monetary salvation

After umpteen times being swindled
reducing me to abject poverty
psyche of mine
broke into a bajillion little pieces
much like Humpty Dumpty
grim outlook spells
forlorn and foregone conclusion,
thus I beseech
all knowing omniscient creator
to rescue me
from the pitfalls of eternal damnation,
where pendulum wildly swings
in one direction of doom
sabotaging sanity and solvency
wreaking havoc analogous
to kamikaze missionaries
intent on suicide missions
blasting dystopian fiery hellhole
loosing tenuous grip upon
ramparts of mental stability
maligning foolhardy behavior
guaranteeing surefire wreckage
abominable demons hellbent
to annihilate with brutal devastation
cents and sensibility
blitzkrieg makes mincemeat
feast for grim reaper
cue apropos soundtrack
where grateful dead
cavort with calamity, jollity
and rapacity of a Robinhood run amuck
robbing the poor
to enrich the gluttonous plutocrats
impossible mission to seize the day
when nary a handy dandy blue's clue extant
resigning yours truly
to live in a bleak house
imprisoning prodigal son
witnessing him spinning out
the days of his life as the world turns
reviling himself while flagellating
suppressing anguished cries of tortured soul
accepting deserved punishment
sentenced to ****** solitude
where cri de coeur falls on deaf ears
after he repeatedly though unwittingly
committed fraud against himself
depleting meager monetary resources
leaving bone dry balance
whereby corpse dangles lifelessly
come take a swing at body electric
left to hang for all posterity
as grim example
against being blindly inquisitive
indiscriminately clicking
arbitrary tabs on cellphone
and adversely exploiting
deliverance from the poor house
abandoned by the wife
for countless transgressions
less so of amorous infidelity
(although that too a factor
in meted out comeuppance)
alone in an emotional wilderness
he whiles away pitiful existence
growing old and feeble minded
housed within unit b44
not longer grooving to bliss
merely marking time
upon grime encrusted floor
a multipurpose space
doubling up as sleeping quarters
and evacuation of ****** waste
no longer caring
about keeping up appearances
cause nobody cares to visit
once upon a time fool on the hill
long forgotten from messengers of hope
thus consigned to an anonymous death
subsequently cremated
with ashes scattered to the four winds.

only just began early today
November 6th, 2024,
when my eyes frightfully espied
glaring headlines bespoke horror
conjured, portended and yielded
worse fate than being gratefully dead
after the polls tallied up the votes
beaming none other than
pudgy hugely crass blimp
as the forty seventh president
of the United States of America.

Before delving into worse case scenario
regarding the candidate,
who clinched the nomination
as commander in chief
with special thanks to Elon Musk
(despite being an engineering genius)
for amply funded inimical,
maniacal, and radical
antithetical, egotistical, and heretical
verbal incursion, and character assassination

videre licet concerning democratic opponent
boosting drek fueling horrible jibes,
no surprise after the got ballots counted
decreeing the overstuffed ego freezer
who will now occupy the White House
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW,
Washington, DC 20500,
subsequently, I posit thee
with a very obvious rhetorical question.

Members of the House and Senate
met in the House Chamber to conduct
the official count of electoral votes.

The Vice President of the United States,
as President of the Senate, presided
over the count in a strictly ministerial manner
and announces the results of the vote.

Now after imp of the pervert
amassed 270 electoral votes
and declared the avowed winner
while he blissfully gobbled
his favorite meal
consisting of Two Big Macs,
Two Fillet-o-Fish sandwiches,
a large Fry and a diet Coke
courtesy being heavy duty patron
and keeping McDonald's patriarchal
company financially afloat
Now dear reader, you ought to be
able, eager, ready, and willing
to participate in an after the fact
easy to answer guessing game?

Here goes.

Who can legitimately flaunt the law...
and get away with ****** scot-free?

Only someone christened
Donald John Trump
the 45th President of the United States:
he escaped being (even minimally)
penalized of countless crimes:
any other American would be prosecuted
found guilty, and subsequently sentenced
(courtesy strong arm of the law
witnessing guilty party
and his merry
contra band of accomplices
dealt harsh consequences)
to years of hard labor.

As a law abiding citizen,
I decry how legally nomenclatured,
qualified, schooled, and trained professionals
handled him with kid gloves
as if he happened to be the Messiah.

Analogous to some rabid animal,
the mean mien pitbull
disposition of Donald Trump
witnesses him foaming at the mouth
during his barnstorming, campaigning,
doxing, et cetera vituperation.

The next four long years
will witness wrecking ball
obliterating the foundations
constituting complex edifice
housing sacred tracts
fundamental documented blueprints
linkedin with ancillary trappings
servicing nasty and brutish gall
with pride and prejudice
exhibiting absolute zero
gentlemanly sense and sensibility.

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

The alarming trend of renegade
souper spoons ladling out propaganda
cast a chilling, galvanizing, and spooking trend
many spoons transitioning to sporks
and running off with knaves of knives.

Why, where, and when all spoons
got uppity and disappeared
mystifies kitchen motley crews
across the webbed wide world
as to why these implements
consisting of a small,
shallow oval or round bowl
on a long handle,
used for eating, stirring, and serving food
vanished right before the eyes of Laura Mars
leaving top notch experts with highly sir-rated
sharp cutlery skills
expressing unanimous befuddlement,
nevertheless, I tried to feign self importance
to cook up my own theory
contributed as an airtight notion
eventually also grudgingly promulgated
by countless service members,
especially those enlisted
in the Coast Guard and/or Navy
as opposed to other branches of the military,
which past generations
of present amphibious veterans
(whose lineage traced
back to early "Frogmen")
sometimes got submerged
in a yellow submarine
and living a life of ease
ten thousand leagues under the sea
of the expansive watery environment
essentially the menfolk
(namely husbands predominantly SEALS
by no Otter name),
and/or their mien ale wives
acclimated where still waters run deep.

Hence aforementioned runaway utensil issue
declared a riddle, wrapped in a mystery,
inside an enigma,
a quote originally used
by Winston Churchill
to describe the Soviet Union
during the second world war)
despite round the clock coverage
of what appears to be a mecca
of veritable lemmings.

As of the crafting of this poem
no dramatic headway
established on the figurative beachhead
meaning near impossible mission to boot
no matter stop the presses decree issued
to squeeze any additional fuller capacity
to allow, enable, and provide
feedback on what I already dished out
while the president at present
discussed and gathered top brass
to engineer emergency war whoop
if necessary bringing back the draft
(compulsory military service) or reinstatement
with intent to amass sizable troop
movement to enable, and provide
up to the nanosecond
details so one may get latest scoop
within the blink of an eye),
whereby the national global effort to recoup
boasting officers future offspring
hinted courtesy embarrassing pictures
of ship shape men fatigued with arm forces
stealthily unbuttoning uniforms of pretty thang
donning heterosexual couples
spooning, kissing, and beaming
pictures at an exhibition adorned
awash with bouncing baby boys and girls
(now grown to men and women)
claimed sons and daughters of their own born
with a silver demitasse in their mouths,
and strongly said utensils believed
they (silverware) hit upon dim minted notion
while cooks shucked corn
that aforementioned flatware
forged courtesy blood, sweat and tears.

Sum melting of
manufactured in Dearborn
home of Ford Motor Company world headquarters
and birthplace of Henry Ford
also boasts a large Arab American population
and cultural attractions
like the Arab American National Museum
diehard first spoon fed their young'uns
initially settled by French Canadians
in the late 18th century,
with Antoine Dequindre
being one of the first known
non-Native American settlers
experienced an identity crisis
suffering debilitating malady
analogous to plight
experienced courtesy the Michigan einhorn
synonymous with staggering
diminution in English speaking peoples.

Analogous to beckoning
think fickle finger of fate doth allure
gussied up with
windswept orange coiffure
tantalizes like a kid
in a candy store to explore
amidst treasure trove of words galore
recollecting when yours truly
a spunky lad though
physically, and emotionally immature

to curry spicy relationship
(aside from being oblivious
to a golden opportunity)
with Meena Ravel,
a high school classmate
of my younger Shari,
whereby both girl students
graduated with flying colors
invariably her parents
Kokeela (which means "cuckoo bird"
or "nightingale)" and Kishore

(meaning "young boy," "youth)"
got along swimmingly more
power to the merits
brought together
after their match finalized
during their respective childhood's end
thus all the more power
to an arranged marriage,
albeit a visible successful union.

The above potential prospect
for a charming lass to befriend
one among countless other opportunities
I never risked expressing interest
devoid of sense and sensibility to lend
a helping hand
(secretly entertaining fantasy
to become son in law)
as a modus modus operandi
convincing said parents
of aforementioned lass
their daughter a godsend
could have helped me transcend
feeling awkward in the presence
of a darling young pretty woman.

All throughout puberty
and emerging adulthood
yours truly family of mine
concerned, frustrated and infuriated
(courtesy mother of mine,
who evinced anger at me
for shirking looking for employment,
but instead went to nearby parks
such as Evansburg, or Valley Forge,
whereby I parked car

in secluded spot
and whiled the hours with attention
focused on webbed wide world of words)
they wondered why
the only male offspring
exhibited being painfully shy
and lacked even one fine companion
preferably of the opposite gender
(considered with reference
to social and cultural

differences well nigh
rather than biological ones),
and subsequently turned
attention of mine toward
the safe realm to appease
voracious appetite to glean knowledge,
and getting woozy,
yet naturally "high"
resulting from many
hours bearing witness

to whip smartness courtesy
reading various and sundry material
to fraternize with characters,
who peopled my overactive imagination
which poor substitute for livingsocial
found appeasement of mindscape
strewn with tears asian arid wasteland
heavily punctuated where I did cry.

Even now forfeited relationships
alleviated with thoughts of wanting to die.

Often these days
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to share one son,
cuz twenty years after mother succumbed
courtesy of terminal illness
that ravaged her body.

I still reckon how yours truly
shrugged off proffering
tender loving care
within whose womb,
this sole prodigal son wannabe born,
thus shouldered with self scorn
and now two decades later,
the grief and regret not so heavily worn,
nevertheless I consider myself
less familiar to thy mama
than her hats (no surprise,
she got known
as the hat – trick - lady) on a rack
(built by papa)
that donned yorn head
and trumpeted the presence
of a free spirit.

He (the writer of these words) clearly recounts
as if her death occurred yesterday...,
(when all mine troubles
moost definitely not far away)
last remaining grains sands of time.

Imagine an hourglass
where fine granules
trickle from one to another
(upper to lower) bulbed chamber
just prior when coroner decrees death,
yet an opportunity prevailed
wherein said self (me) chose
NOT to stand vigil at deathbed
of she begat
an older and younger daughter
(mine sibling sisters).

Last breath(s) expelled while mama
tethered to machines,
one or more helped diminish
agonizing, depressing, and writhing
pain and discomfort
racked once fitness
and health conscious
industrious, tenacious, and vivacious body,
which malignant terminal illness
(no joke) riddled a former robust
Arthur Murray ballroom dance instructor
(think approximately
threescore and ten years past),
whose flirtatious demeanor
instantaneously caught fancy of handsome
twenty something papa at his prime.

Before rigor mortis quickly
stole precious lifeblood, and
final minutes ticked away until
countdown to... realm of absent consciousness
scant moments before subtle transition
slipped our beloved mother into deadzone...,
neither final adieu, caress, grief...,
nor poem written...
never communicated to deceased,
not an iota of sorrowful lament
bequeathed, prevailed, relinquished...
over lifeless body (mommy dearest)
relegated limp suddenly cold stone body,
where morgue aged (mortgaged) corpse
interestingly enough principally
kept in cold storage
(despite aversion to frigid air
exhibited by mama)
preparatory to cremation process.

Rather... suppressed resentment
exhibited itself at 1148 Greentree Lane
(partial listed then abode -
Matthew Scott Harris,
plus his family resided)
by mister recalcitrant,
felt ambivalent carte blanche blasé affection
regarding once young bride,
(who smothered cingular heir insync
with dada i.e. Boyce Brandon Harris),
cuz he (yours truly overstayed
livingsocial under same roof as parents,
which happenstance (in tandem
with the Leiper's preference
for their demesne plus
one hundred acre estate called Glen Elm
before being purchased by –
I believe a local
within Southeastern Montgomery County,
Pennsylvania realtor
named Donald Neilson, but do not quote me)
situated at 324 Level Road.

Both thee aforementioned
supposed biological guardians
railed, screamed, tormented (albeit verbally)
yours truly, upon mine eighteenth birthday,
when great expectations greatly exacerbating
emotionally hard times,
which ill suited poet de jure
experienced, brickbats rained
down upon these
(considerably mooch younger) lovely bones
whose anger (mine) smoldered
linkedin to constant epithets of expletives
out the mouths of those who begat me,
subsequently their livid with rage
tsunami festered within every
holy Mole (he) molecule
within mine atomized corporeal being
manifesting itself as deprivation
to embrace dear mama
attended at hospital with
both non twisted sisters;
one hailed from Woodbury, New Jersey
and the younger one staked out
modest home within Bend, Oregon,
meanwhile thee grim reaper
did patiently scythe before soon
nonchalantly heading back
to his old curiosity shop,
a rather bleak house, I now conclude.

where the grateful dead undergo cremation
corpse paid for courtesy the government,
but crematoriums that house cremator
of late popular and dime a dozen
as an eco-friendly solution
versus a lifeless body once electric
enclosed within a casket,
which gets buried
in the hallowed ground,
where grave markers hint
that greensward constituting a cemetery
requires maintenance costs,
and said consecrated ground
unavailable for other purposes,
aside from the costs materials
used to manufacture the coffin.

I will not be buried in the ground,
whereby the government,
a doctor, medical examiner,
or coroner must fill out a medical certificate
regarding cause of death
pays heed over my dead body
to yours truly (me),
who ofttimes feels like an extraterrestrial
born in the wrong century and country,
prompting me to expostulate “I don’t belong here”
nor any place for that matter.

Herewith ****** - horn trumpets
and warns others to beware strumpets
beguiling celibate men (with dormant libido)
to be on the lookout
courtesy vestal virgins blowing their flumpets
plying to proffer hallucinogenic
laced appetite for consumption crumpets.

While stupefied after nibbling tasty morsel
redolent of classic raw bits and powder milk biscuits
tastefully advertised on The Prairie Home Companion,
who created and hosted courtesy Garrison Keillor.

Ingenious radio program gifting avid listeners
videlicet live radio variety show
A Prairie Home Companion starting in 1974
after covering the Grand Ole Opry
for The New Yorker magazine.

Anyway, I genuinely apologize
letting tangential threads,
(albeit the above brainchild
vis a vis Garrison Keillor)
getting me off figurative track
about being duped
into suffering castration
(act of surgically
removing the testicles - ouch)!

While heavily sedated
purportedly in preparation
regarding necessary treatments
linkedin to preliminary procedures
prior to dental implants
such as bone grafting
or tooth extractions,
and a focus on excellent oral hygiene
to prevent infection
post dental implants
anesthesia found the so called "patient"
subsequently spellbound,
when under the aegis
of an oral and maxillofacial surgeon,
(the reputable Asian Doctor Gum Gang),
and assisted by the daughters
of the sea god Phorcys
or of the river god Achelous
by one of the Muses Sirens
(enchanting but dangerous allure,
a seductive temptress
whose beauty and charm
are irresistible but also perilous),
I come to from a vivid dream
and just before a scalpel
and other standard surgical instruments
positioned just over male genitals
ready to make the first cut,
I summon forth cojones,
and shake off the effects of an awful dream!

(plus cutlery, pots pans, et cetera) in the kitchenette sink.

She started what would immediately become
a first and last generation tradition
(the spouse as washer woman
and scullery maid)
soon after we moved here
eight years ago come July 1st, 2025.

I trumpet her pioneer spirit
to apply elbow grease
(to tackle tough
heavily stained articles of clothing
(after her weary cowboy husband
comes back home on the range
after a hot day rustling cattle)
think underwear of mine -
whereat even bleach
falls short of removing
stubborn noticeable discoloration)
such gusto similarly applied
to glassware or cookware caked
with crusty hardened food.

After washing wearable goods,
she squeezes the excess water
from saturated item(s)
and drapes still moderately wet garment
over drying racks
despite the availability
of clothes washers and dryers
here on the premises
of Highland Manor Apartments.

Though she continues to threaten
with colorful epithets
never to wash my clothes ever again,
her words ring hollow
when some time elapses
and... guess what?
yepper, her hands slide down
into the behavioral sink
and I make sure
to acknowledge gratitude,
yet admit to falling short
of filling in the blank
(with a select response),
when she asks me
what will I give her in return.

Earlier in our
almost thirty year marriage,
we (I more so than the wife)
used to be conditional
and if asked a favor,
the immediate response
from yours truly (me)
just so happened to be
what do I get in return?

That Pavlovian feedback loop
occurred way before
my libido took a kamikaze dive,
into a suicide mission
a strong suspicion arises
(but I dare not utter
a premature *******)
videlicet that being adverse effects
linkedin with one or more
of the nine prescription medications
ingested for mental health issues
such as anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive disorder,
and palmar hyperhidrosis
could be the only logical explanation,
and interestingly enough,
I breathe a sigh of relief
cuz all to often ****** fantasies
ofttimes filled every waking
and sleeping hour of mine.

which perpetrators most likely find quite funny

Super ******* and sons of ******* wantonly deceive
easily earning the sobriquet nefarious charlatans heave
vainly doing devilish deeds done dirt cheap and leave
a broke bloke (such as writer of these words)
whereby he doth perceive
sudden horror and nothing short of a cyber thieve.

Donald ***** and Philip Stevens
pose as legitimate senior
customer service representative/
relation officers who
(may be savvy with accredited learning) apply
a misleading electronic address as follows -
onlineservices.citizensalert@gmail.com,
but any resemblance
between said imposters
and gurus of bonafide money world
and living person purely coincidental,
(who may sport countless other aliases
possibly one and the same individual),
whom thee dear reader
may have unfortunately encountered online
bank on hoodwinking with tricks of their trade
deserve to get their just desserts,
and finds me referencing the comedy duo
of Laurel and Hardy ofttimes incorporating
their most iconic
and frequently used catchphrase:
"Well, here's another nice mess
you've gotten me into!"
and said tagline describes to a Tee,
how yours truly felt after dealing
with the aforementioned individuals
I consider scoundrel(s).

Upon inquiring at Citizens Bank headquarters
none of the head honchos
within the upper echelons of management
recognized above broached names,
nevertheless I derive pleasure
courtesy character assassination
ennobling nasty, brutish and short
(a famous quote
from Thomas Hobbes's Leviathan,
where he describes life
in a hypothetical
"state of nature" without government)
fiends able, eager and ready
to bleed financially dry
with bluster any individual
that can be manipulated
to believe that apothegm
if something seems too good to be true
then most likely sinister motives
figuratively trod underfoot.

The technique to incorporate
hook, line and sinker
falsely claiming that a username
or password warrant immediate attention
(as applies to the sensitive
and delicate nature of checking
and/or savings account information)
which figurative foxes in sheep's clothing
will be more than eager
to resolve said "false" glitch
by surrendering such sensitive data
to these self proclaimed Messiahs.

I feel dumbfounded
not only at the crass chicanery
to dupe me,
(who rarely questions the blunt request
to acquire sensitive data
such as passwords
or even sending a copy
of a debit card)
barely giving second pause
at the sheer chutzpah
of derelicts to rob yours truly
of his measly money,
but also chide myself
for being so oblivious
to "red flags"
such as a supposedly
"fake" Citizens Bank employees
emailing me at all hours
of the day and night
inveigling one poor sucker
to relinquish (analogous to keys
of a safe being willingly handed over
without deliberation, hesitation,
petification, and trepidation),
and wonder when
will I ever learn
to be more perspicacious
to now self evident truths
about the wily wicked ways
of scam artists totally
adrip with malicious motives,
which as an aside require me
to update all the merchants
(not necessarily of Venice)
and vendors linkedin
to the compromised debit card.

Adieu from: Matthew Harris

Which lame excuse I exclaimed,
when my dear old mom asked
rather told me in her scolding voice
to tidy up my bedroom,
cuz this son of a gun
intuited neatening (organizing)
one infinitesimal corner of the cosmos,
(a veritable pinpoint of nothingness -
our house at blank address)
hence an excellent reason
as lamely iterated above
not to straighten up
my sleeping quarters,
or... rather lesser portion
of bedroom yours truly
then shared with my younger sister,
when writer of these words
just a diminutive lad,
who wished and envied himself

to be the diminutive little boy
(analogous to Jack Wild in Oliver)
at Baker Park day camp
named Stuart (or spelled Stewart) Gillett.

I did literally shortchange
natural born propensity
to witness maximum development
of body, mind, and spirit
when psyche whipsawed
by the vagaries of social anxiety,
panic attacks,
and obsessive compulsive disorder
(psychological maladies shortlisted
to spare the reader his/her tolerance
to endure umpteenth regurgitation
of boyhood, adolescent
and emerging adult mental health ills)
attempting to stave off bidding adieu
to a childhood's end mourned,
no matter fictitiously envisioned
formative years idyll reveries
analogous to present prevarication
being a Norwegian bachelor farmer
in Lake Woebegone,
where cessation of degradation
courtesy intubation, supported jollification
think (Potemkin Village)
bolstering façade and charade
of a faux gone existence.

Hypothetical arbitrary
definition of methodization
exemplified by eldest sister
(when as an an ace student
during convincingly
feigned rapt chores,
where the order of the day
pitted shushed obedient kids
subjected to elementary
my dear Watson pedagogical blather),
nevertheless she displayed
immaculate artistic renderings
courtesy the device
used during every grade
whether at primary,
junior and senior high school
to project images onto a screen,
where a teacher
would place transparent sheets
with written information,
called an overhead projector.

These projectors often referred to as OPs,
according to an article
on Larry Cuban's blog.

They were also sometimes
informally called a "Belshazzar".

Since the universe
abhorred the apotheosis
of parochial law and order
as epitomized
by aforementioned eldest sibling's
buzzfeeding with extremely
neat and groovy note-taking,
and hence succeeded
as a straight A student
completing dozen
***** deeds done dirt cheap
thru first to twelfth grade
with flying colors,
who as a nature lover to boot
shunned killing live specimens
from a young age
and ingeniously fantastic star student
got the lion's share
born sympathetic and empathetic
toward all creatures great and small,
(whose insect collection project
assignment for seventh grade -
where she pinned
dead critters to styrofoam board
and accompanied with drawings
with her exquisite left hand
validated her artistic penchant
that southpaws gifted
with predilection toward phenomenal
exact printing and drawing
preceding me by approximately
thirteen plus months prior
to my scrawny debut
in the webbed wide world,
where yours truly ranked
as most convenient scapegoat
where utter chaos reigned supreme
as evidenced and exemplified
by illegible chicken scratch
and deplorable messiness
to assigned hurt locker of mine.

signals the eighth year we lived
at our present location,
where fringe benefits (a plug) for perks
living at 2 highland manor drive.

Expanse of green acres draped
like a petticoat when ye arrive
birds of a feather flock together
and bees gather collect nectar,
pollen, and water to bolster their hive
verdant vista sports
spot for wildlife to thrive
such as; whitetail deer, Redd Foxx,
Easter bunnies (such as Peter Cottontail,
Osterhase (the German name),
and Peter Rabbit,
and the occasional garter snake
that shows up unexpectedly
within one bedroom apartment unit b44.

Not only state of the art plumbing
for public restrooms now in the works
but facilities at Highland Manor apartments
located in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
in the 19473 zip code
offers one bedroom and studio apartments
(built in 1969 with 84 units)
geared for sixty plus year old young Turks
adjacent to Maple Hill Community
abuts against pristine physical environment
offers (luscious green acres
at petticoat junction)
sporting residents such as yours truly
who would best be described
with individuals with their harmless quirks
far from the madding crowd,
yet linkedin to historical networks
sporting pleasant female management klerks
(a term, often a surname,
derived from the Dutch word
for "clerk" or "scribe")
though less ideal for couples
with young children,
who clamor to know howstuffworks
and might best visit
Valley Forge National Park
and amble along redoubts and earthworks
or if in the mood to drive
to visit Pennsylvania Dutch Country
(as a day tripper for a nowhere man)
head off to County Berks
home to an Old Order Mennonite community
consisting of about 160 families.

Classified as low income
(courtesy rural housing authority)
those whose finances pinched
can breathe a sigh of relief
at affordable rent
and if gifted with housing choice voucher
formerly known as section 8 -
the Housing Act of 1937,
often called Section 8,
as repeatedly amended,
authorizes the payment
of rental housing assistance
to private landlords on behalf
of low-income households
in the United States)
can rest assured said voucher accepted.

In 2007, Democrats took control
of the borough council for the first time
in the borough's history,
nevertheless Republicans
joust kick/jump start opponents to unseat:
Elderly population who reside on premises
each own a story to tell, who if prompted
would possibly eagerly respond
talking about a simpler way of life
such as yours truly,
who attended Henry Kline Boyer Elementary
each of the six grades
yours truly did nearly repeat
(one classroom per grade learning facility)
long since obsolete:
all manner of therapy animals accepted
but best to get permission
(with then property manager
Lisa Varley Wacker -
cause this blurb written about two years ago)
to house unusual pet such as lorikeet
for those unlearned folks said creature
a colorful and vibrant species of parrot
known for its distinctive beak
and tongue adaptations
that allow it to feed on pollen
and nectar from flowers:
Most residents sequestered
in their respective unit,
thus I infrequently witness
exhibit behavior hashtagged as indiscreet
with a total unit size of 43,575 Square Feet,
whereby a thin layer
of carpeting covers concrete
witnessing unsteady tenant
taking a tumble and bruises
their body doth accrete.

Swath of pristine tractless snow white landscape...
tell tale sign where
winter storm Demi left her mark.

Beautiful and bountiful visual scene
(seldom seen around
tri-state geographic area
for quite a few years,
where temperate global warming
spelled unseasonably warm winters)
trumps the inauguration
for breathtaking view.

Immaculate conception birthed
awesome aesthetic spectacular
blinding heavenly creation.

I feel humbled
as an infinitesimal know nothing
wrought into existence
courtesy billions of years
evolutionary fits and starts,
and will exit stage door left
barely impacting the cosmic schema.

Memories accumulated across
six plus decades astride oblate spheroid
upon sixty plus shades of gray matter
sights and sounds transiently,
yet indelible impressions lasted a lifetime
eventually taken to the grave,
(or rather more eco-friendly crematorium),
which lovely bones once reduced to ashes
will leave nary a trace videre licet,
where joys and sorrows
dwelt within mine temple mount
unbeknownst to humanity
unless one attests to spiritus mundi
housing each and every personal record
that livingsocial (and more often
as an egalitarian, latitudinarian, proletarian,
solitudinarian, and unitarian) did emboss,
though uneventful existence,
would find any incorporeal passerby to gloss
tittering at reputation as spindleshanks
no doubt resulting
where chromosomes and genes
of interspecie breeding did intercross,
yet leaving some lucky **** sapiens
descendents of simian forebears
with eye catching physical characteristics
cases in point Heidi Kloss
or the waifish
former supermodel Kate Moss
testimony that either the former
or latter pleasing specimens
fortified with raw bits,
(and maybe even smattering
Norwegian bachelor farmers
big strapping men's bloodline
rumored heifer and angus outcross),
whose claim to eternal fame popularized,
and brought them renown fame
linkedin to "aphrodisiac hidden oomph"
of powder milk biscuits) sic erat scriptum.

honored at freedom fête
of course in my dreams
where Tony the Tiger
roars Matthew Scott Harris
ranks as one hip cat gr-r-eat
showcasing adroitness
with ability to turn a phrase
evident if we could arrange a tête-à-tête
where immortality doth  wait.

Pacifist bard of Perkiomen Valley
regaled at Alpine Fellowship conclave
regarding erosion of Democratic rights grave
alarming usurpation of power - Republicans
each and every one a nasty and brutish knave
intent to pronounce decree sentencing
every **** sapien to pave
(courtesy their lovely bones)
back breaking laborious ****** path
trumpeting, signaling and attesting slave
versus master linkedin relationship
essentially scuttling emancipation proclamation
lifetime of human *******
forced to pledge flag of servitude
amidst wreckage broken souls
washed away courtesy totalitarian wave.

Foreclosure on purported inalienable rights
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
though hard won freedoms crimped
foregone conclusion demanding
fealty and loyalty to sovereignty
therefore necessitates electorate
to stage coup d'état
and overthrow autocrat
ideally thru peaceful modus operandi.

Though aforementioned verses hypothetical,
mine overactive imagination
can easily envision governmental,
née societal debacle
witnessing yours truly,
an extremely shy
Norwegian bachelor wannabe
gobbling up ample powder milk biscuits
to acquire courage to protest
(no matter the temperature
seasonably pitch perfect May tenth
two thousand and twenty five)
and stand firm against
one unnamed political party
aiming to upend voting rights,
thus disenfranchising
most economically vulnerable people
(predominantly) persons of color
to cast their vote for representation.

Absolute zero chance for change
unless even those risk averse
(such as one garden variety wordsmith)
to protest without resorting to violence
and staking a claim to denounce
opposition against exercising
freedom for citizens
to elect eligible candidate.

I too would join aspiring bravehearts
(each of us participants
tightly grasping an amulet),
not looking for fame nor fortune,
only martyrdom and sainthood ha,
nevertheless able, eager, and ready
to risk life and limb in an effort to preserve
(even at expense getting into a jam)
principle figurative bulwark buttressing
buzzfeeding land of milk and honey myth.

Throughout American history
many patriots as well
as indigenous tribes bled,
the latter viciously tracked down
nsync with ominous dread,
no matter how fast they fled
taking refuge courtesy
sympathetic abolitionists,
who silently motioned
at (hiding) in hogshead
wherein close proximity
slave catchers hope
upon silent footsteps they tread
to steal back their overworked
and demeaned hashtagged chattel.

Outspoken voices helped spur
Emancipation Proclamation and
subsequent manumission
diametrically opposed to bedrock
attitudes, ideologies, prejudices...
kept in check by scare tactics
thus disallowing formerly shackled
to experience full fledged freedom,
whether enjoying opportunities
available to the leisure class
or exploring inherent potential
to amass learning
and become financially successful,
which suppression of free will,
(within parameters of self expression -
artistic, literary, musical et alia)
gives credence to notion of white privilege
automatic guilt linkedin with skin color.

Each generation of oppressed,
especially those who break the color barrier
subjected with bigotry
(ofttimes subtle mistreatment)
challenging well earned freedom
rightfully bequeathed from forebears labor.

The ghosts of Africans
who suffered pre colonial rule
(namely European exploitation)
robbed of their national identity
will foreever haunt the offspring,
whose forefathers/mothers
brutally desecrated haven housing
rightful autochthonous
men, women and children
living social within
their own Lake Wobegone.

despite me chronological age being one naught naught
as an impractical joker
to da liver me from being dirt poor,  
especially when bitterly cold draught
howls and rattles mine lovely bones
despite a lifetime
weathering supercalifragilisticexpialidocious genes
that no amount of money could buy nor bought.

The following epistemological foray
yielded the Mattspeak gibberish,
set in Times New Roman
as twelve font before your eyes
the net result knowledge acquired to date
and subsumed within
at  original instance of writing
sixty plus shades of gray
living and practicing
being interpersonally social
cause for me
(once upon a time
as an extremely introverted lad,  
and essentially totally withdrawn),
thus now being extroverted
self congratulatory cause for hip... hip...
hip... replacement surgery hooray
immediately afterwards prancing
and dancing around with the stars  
ignoring egregious bupkis
issuing out the mouths of those
from the rat pack set who inveigh
against this boyish looking centenarian
still spry enough to skip up the jetway
prior to thugs nearly
beating the sh*t out of me
(as an uppity person of color) courtesy the KKK,
who now know better not to tangle
with the likes of me adroit enough
to knock every bully
hankering to start a melee.

No quest chin, I defy conformity and thwart
hat field bald apropos abilities
with scads of literary antics to best
buy thee interest whoever doth reed
and vet suitable candidates, and community chest
o' mine heaves with anticipation wonder,
ring how purveyor donning figurative Crampons,
(that trumpet each dicey icy echo wing
step of mein kampf) rivals Everest
to scale (albeit without rich hard gear equipment
'cept a perceptive noggin)
egg shaped permanent neck listed guest
as company to share lite snack or drink,
what suits yar harvest,
and course interjections
of good humor, cuz wittiness and jest
kin download a lightness
of being, and gentle byte size
comical banter an electronic
binary boffo, buffoonery bytes lest
head honcho all business evident
by desk pinterest ting nest
ill suited for spontaneity streaming
one-liners, that could be a pest
ambition of him/her aiming
to game dialogue nabbing quest
of productive money in side pocket,
where prestidigitation trick
up sleeve also rest
viz electron nick kewl back aid
AC/DC jumper linkedin acid test
and...well no animals harmed
in writing courtesy baby boomer wise guy
of persiflage noir lived
(as a self hired spy for espionage
approximately ***** dozen miles
didst indeed drive dirt cheap
regarding inception of these words)
**** sitter ably west
of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
would (if some fluke offered
this worm men eye sir ha job) exclaim
ming (while astride his high Trojan Horse),
a muffled, mumbled, and muted zest.

He be dashing off (riding
in a white horse open sleigh)
driven by a Quisp and Quake
eating pop slop served
courtesy ancestor ova Decembrist
quite horridly and harried styled,
and swiftly tailored Russian revolutionary,
who in December 1825 - got ******
flew led zeppelin
(with limited posse sub billet tee),
an unsuccessful revolt
against Tsar Nicholas I
grabbing his righteous left wrist,
whence leaders (including
this nebulous genealogical firecracker)
executed, and later regarded as martyrs by the Left.

Pixar could nada pay enough
for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so I wonder if any chance
hello kitty whisker of employment
thru contrived virtual toy story
qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize into likely chance
such an idea generates me
to shrek out with excitement
and doo *** ping
hip-hop improvisational thespian dance
just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists
for this self anointed bard who dislikes formality
presents posse sub billet tee say technical skills,
which I hope to enhance,
hence this chap offers following poetic expression,
nada common and did not german ate in France
to take a glance
so help this intuitive **** sapiens
overcoming Bing a deep pull lore able
bass kit case to enhance
sharpen mental acuity like lance,
which byte size bit torrent humor
might cause ye to soil pants
misinterpreting mishmash as raves and rants
even part time income would buoy
ma Petsmart gull livers travelers sans positive stance
with subtle intent to place me as worth hiring,
to sway au currant series electronic charge
ideally affect hypnotic trance
in effort for consideration to ad-vance.

I betcha never read a pseudo cover letter reply
like iambic pentameter electronic wire
from boyish looking blood muggle father up in years,
(whose nonpareil courage
to face Voldemort never does tire)
and two grown doll ling daughters,
would consider him worthy hire
less so to rake in gobs of money,
but satiate nearly unquenchable hunger and thirst
for bits of computer fields, and pad family big bird nest
while watering stream of consciousness babbling
brook - bass adder know how to acquire.

This faux cover letter of sorts conveys itty bitty
raw bits minuscule Orbitz size actual work experience
(from this papa who lived
northwest of Philadelphia city,
when these keystrokes
initially impressed alphanumeric characters)
nonetheless, I hanker
(NOT to be confused with HACKER -
divergent words differ by juiced
one letter prompts following ditty)
computer troubleshooting
(and making) abilities of mine
thine appetite to comprehend,
aye ascribe BuzzFeed ding nitty gritty
nebulous on par with secret life of Walter Mitty,
whom destiny protected and took pity
merely meant to be silly
boot hoop fully entertaining
as a gig from the late Conway Twitty,
yet also attempt to be witty.

No matter how many miles by car
(actually your company might be
within dead man walking distance),
this opportunity would be considered nod da to far
hoop ping responding
in rhyme considered creatively healthy
though garbled endeavor to explicate
duly cause for overlooking role
to enter inside open sesame a jar
communicate modest casual fashion trying knot to mar
ma duke king chances dressing
dishabille prove hike kin use acumen
interest, language skills and technologically spar
using graphical user interface programs
to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter doth not constitute traditional
standard genre for a debtor
I see no reason with rhyme
why non-conformist modus operandi
cannot serve mode to communicate pursuit
as computer repair technician and letterman go getter,
which honest to goodness confession
hopefully affects against
other respondents at least a bit better.

This pure breed mud half blood muggle prince
bona fide seeker for challenging income
does reckon following poetic way
not necessarily follows formalities
to reply as most would readily say,
yet why adhere to conformity,
whereby paradigm frowns on creative er ray
which atypical modus operandi
to reply positive job I pray
even if outcome offering interest turns out to be nay
perhaps because mien hometown
since these words written
about tree doze zen
leafy miles north West
of Philadelphia frito band eat toe lay.

LivingSocial within southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the general domain since birth
resume may (quite slim
as jail grub gruel) may show dearth
yet hie decided to resort with verse a tile tactic
induce sing byte size mirth
of requisite (sought after) technical expertise,
I do possess the attributes well worth.

If you might allow me to boast
blithely use iambic pentameter to coast
maybe opportunity to eradicate
re: exorcise binary elusive ghost
offer bytes of helpful information from pc host
with brio and confidence, I respond to post.

So...without further ado I will slightly brag
to tell ability conduct ding understand DOS
no longer necessary
to abort, cancel, and restart
mission to program one's way thru virtual crag
manage common passé system utilities
(back in the day,
when technology cradled
analogous to baby during their infancy)
such as scan disk and defrag
installed, resolved dsl issues, performed
scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches
viz yule eyes basic
removal of DOS files, installation
and/or removal of hardware
likewise uninstalling software, running registry sweeps
in an attempt to remove bugs and errors
cause zing machine to cough and gag,
which invariably abends processes as downloading,
sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
gently goading an overloaded old nag,
who if an aged horse versus actual human,
would warrant sweat wicked off brow with rag
and if chance smiles on further consideration
like happy pup his/her tail will wag.

Oh...and by the way
(gnome hatter a no...no and taboo topic de jure),
I would accept a starting
and/or negotiable salary as starting wage
in an effort to support self proclaimed sage,
whose role can double up as court jester, joker, or page
hopeful poetic synopsis offers favorable gauge
in tandem enriching fount
of knowledge (initially
courtesy COMPAQ PRESARIO)
as revolutionary in 1999 as yours truly
more valuable than fine spun gold at advanced age.

Y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot
which may matter bo diddly squat
no matter I herald from royalty with salient strengths
as being a prestigious scott
butta ma sta harris
does not smoke *****,
nor drink from a chamber ***
and student of establishment he is not
one to boast about knick knack
paddy whack…to craft a bon mot,
yet moxie by maxima proxy this poet doth got
might elicit salient characteristics similar to a humanoid bot
and, oh by the way,
I lived in montgomery county, Pennsylvania
some year’s quite a-lot.

Good day from: harmless, hapless, handless mad man Matthew Harris.

As subtle obvious from the above burst
this non quit ting chap doth tick and cursed
with avidity, cupidity, electricity durst
to flout conformity, and will when a Hearst
coffin dost bear me away,
lest cremation mine ashes get dis pursed
aspiring to wax poetic fur better or wurst.

In Love With Words

Carte blanche,
this scrivener bandies, exercises,
and indulges inexplicable gravitas
drooling, extolling, and fielding greatness,
frothing handily, indubitably jinxed,
linkedin as some lingual philanderer,
which oral *******,
this sensate being suckles figuratively das *****
sans mother tongue i.e. english language
unbeknownst to this cobbler,
dabbler and fiddler (on the roof) with rhetoric,
why those twenty six letters constituting
sole lingua franca known to him,
admittedly beheld captivate, fascinated,
genuflecting, highhandedly
inflated educated cerebral cortex
aflame with fiery passion
asper language affianced to himself,
liberal minded radiant, redolent and rudimentary scribe,
who would book chartered flight per voluminous Goddess
to the ends of the Earth demonstrating,
hallucinating and punctuating affinity,
cupidity energetically gravitating ingratiation
knowingly manumission only pleases queen rhetoric,
she thrives unequivocally
viz usually warbling xeroxed yapping
zestfully, amorously and beatifically,
charming dame, entrances fixation, germinating hypnosis,
idyllically juicing kinetic love
mister nonestablishmentarian obliquely producing
quintessential rhapsodies, sonnets, rhyme less threnody
uber veneration towards prosaic radiant, redolent romantic
in tryst ting worthily winsome weaver
doth frigate gently heaves illustrious, joyous, kindness
livingsocial, merrily opportunistically profligate
overlooking many averse trait
viz zit ting this absolute zero
nasty and short brute, cheating discrete envoy,
fantasizing glorious hedonistic insurmountable jazzed ken,
when, even as a haploid male or female germ cell
able to unite with another of the opposite ***
engendered genetically inherent kickstarter mature oldster
quacking sociological product tete a tete paramour the prose
Dot com follower tis reason aye wrote this poem.

cunctatious, flirtatious, and unostentatious,
plus being calm, cool and collected,
but he haint disputatious!

Though by far whether alive
or posthumously repurposed
into molecular bits or bytes
videlicet Malus domestica
courtesy Johnny Appleseed
whose real name John Chapman,
planted an estimated thousands
of apple trees
across the Midwestern United States
and primarily established
apple nurseries, not just single trees,
across large areas of wilderness;
while the exact number unknown,
his nurseries ranged in size,
including one near Fort Wayne, Indiana,
that held fifteen thousand trees
yours truly no way and no however
going to become as illustrious
as aforementioned legendary American,
nor industrious as The Venerable Bede,
nevertheless lemme twitter, snapchat and buzzfeed
that he will also concede
that his mien streak shifts
towards enunciation, pronunciation, and renunciation
against the establishmentarian modus operandi
whether in word or deed
nor said very important righteous leftist
be hashtagged but anything
other than modest,
where ostentation he doth not exceed
merely accessorizing how to embellish
whereby staid language best be freed,
not only to enliven conversation
but also to diplomatic
when portraying moral vices such greed
pride, envy, and lust or social vices,
which can encompass characteristics
like drug addiction, theft, and violence
cuz he espouses credibility, integrity, probity
and abiding laws as a Citizens Banker
I attest he doth wont to heed
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness thus indeed
decrying violence
such as exemplified courtesy "Janjaweed"
primarily members of nomadic Arab tribes,
who have been in long-standing conflict
with Darfur's settled African farmers
over resources like water and land
where talking heads
espouse sax and violins,
which horrific rapine and senseless killing
affect impressionable physical development
of infants and children,
leads to maladies of precious progeny
such as being bow legged
and/or knock-kneed
influencing differently abled person
to escape the cares and concerns
of an uncertain future
to ditch going to school
and accessing consciousness
expanding material such as locoweed
and become adroit
as a bootlegger selling moonshine
distilling their own liquor such as mead
plus growing their own hemp
living off the grid without the need
for dependence on nonrenewable resources
or even modern plumbing they eschew
whereby marking their territory
thirsting after designated spot
taking recourse from the sheltering sky
and the strong arm of the law
to defecate within veritable no man's land
or empty bladder
where all creatures bright and beautiful,
and all things wise and wonderful
maybe even George Washington
slept there and upon waking peed
starting a tradition
where subsequent founding fathers
essentially birthed porta potties,
the primay drawback
being an unavoidable "Queed"
the past tense of the verb "queue,"
meaning to form or wait in a line
eventually getting an education viz read
ding about learning the latest scoop
qua talking politics and/or being a traitor
whispering under cover of darkness
forewarning the enemy
(since being stripped naked
in preparation to bathe in the waters,
no differentiating friend from foe).

of one mortal university
undergraduate built in madly
the brainchild of one Forest Hadley
an a Ford able game paid top dollar
after being purchased by Milton Bradley
called Dodge the Old Farts.

A favorite game I (and the wife) play
here at Highland Manor originated
by yours truly (me) and the spouse
soon after we moved here
eight years ago July first
two thousand and twenty five,
and entails a bit of strategy
and skulduggery to avoid
the poor sniveling souls.

We slink and slither along the halls
of what used to be Schwenksville Elementary School,
a building erected in 1969,
repurposed as a low income facility
for indigent and disabled
penniless senior citizen bankers.

The habitual behavior of each resident
(including me - a fluffless matted
married Scottish Unitarian,
who writes these words)
can be predictable after espying
each and every one of us
exiting from or returning
to their/our respective apartment unit
and take appropriate preemptive measures
to avoid crossing paths
with a wheezing geezer,
which near impossible mission
to avoid a close encounter
of the third eye blind kind
and I would zealously, personally,
and gladly willingly allow, enable
and provide myself
to get voluntarily abducted
by an extraterrestrial
from the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where dark shadows
signal the edge of night.

As a for instance
unspoken and unwritten coda
when passing a fellow tenant
in the hallway or elsewhere on the property
without acknowledging the old fogey
perhaps gnawing on an unlit stogie
(since Highland Manor Apartments
purportedly a smoke free environment)
courtesy a friendly hello
essentially blatantly ignoring hypothetical resident
registered as a fait accompli for insubordination
within the historical contractual obligation
established and signed with blood
upon first setting foot within the premises
(even on the periphery of the border
demarcating property brothers demesne)
recorded as ***** deeds
done dirt cheap accordingly
and hashtagged with a black mark
as a major flagrant violation of lease
and legal grounds to be sent
to the most strict penal penitentiary
punished with ****** solitude for life,
which for one generic solitudinarian
christened Matthew Scott Harris,
(who also considers himself
a latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian,
sexangenarian and Unitarian),
would be considered
a stately and heavenly lock haven
surrounded by pristine
waters of Lake Woebegone
that power a gristmill,
where the inmates
process powder milk biscuits.

Though hyperbole incorporated
regarding the above couched
subliminal messages bearly written between the lions,
I do attest that many of the senior citizens
here at above named
low income housing facility
if felt snubbed automatically
lament being ignored and feel indignant
against whoever chooses
not to reciprocate
courtesy a pleasant superficial
friendly seasons greeting
and takes as a personal affront
not being recognized
as a very important person.