Worth north of a trillion dollars,
(plus or minus a billion dollars here and there),
the unnamed obscenely rich,
(which top 15 billionaires
projected to become trillionaires
can be located on the computer courtesy
typing Top 15 billionaires
projected to become trillionaires
into the Google search bar
and clicking EuroNews tab)
will possess more money
than the GDP (gross domestic product =
the total monetary or market value
of all the finished goods and services
produced within a country's borders
in a specific time period) of many countries,
including Switzerland
and most African countries:
many talking heads
bet their bottom dollar
and float the name of Elon Musk
who leads the list
could become the first trillionaire by 2027,
with a net worth value
"growing at an average rate
of 109.88 percent every year."

A plutocracy (from Ancient Greek πλοῦτος (ploûtos)
'wealth' and κράτος (krátos) 'power')
or plutarchy is a society ruled or controlled
by people of great wealth or income,
whose indiscriminate whim
"Rule by might" often called "kratocracy"
which comes from the Greek word "kratos"
meaning "power" and essentially
describes a government
where those with the most
strength or power are able to rule,
often through force or coercion;
the phrase "might makes right"
encapsulates this concept.

I fear a dystopian future
providing sinister combination
regarding concentration of immense wealth
linkedin with excessive might spells
(in my simple mind)
absolute zero freedom
for those who elected said coterie,
whereby filthy rich power hungry consort
(self declare) themselves titans
fostering closest approximation of immortality
videre licet thru seeds of life and white lily
banish constitutional and democratic freedoms
to dictate enslavement of the hoi polloi,
especially those reduced to near pennilessness
(case in point - yours truly or me)
will be at the beck and call (twenty four seven)
forced to labor to sustain
the means of production in exchange
(where robots serve as cruel taskmasters)
for basic survival on meager rations
living social in shoddy constructed collective
(abominable) barrack type accommodations
lacking modern amenities
such as plumbing for washing and heating,
nipping in the bud any predilection
to indulge scant spare moments already spoken -
for domestic upkeep of spartan shelter
against the sheltering sky,
(not even measurable in hours)
particularly reading or writing,
which luxuries banned
replaced by forcibly attending mandatory
group think workshops delineating
paying homage to those who wielded
the reins of power and banking
courtesy cryptocurrency
pittance doled out and only usable
at so called government decreed canteens,
and should any discovered evidence
reveal black market antics,
would be immediate cause
for execution at the hands
of randomly chosen jury
comprising men and women among the masses.

Bidding wars among the top tier
commandeered, lorded over, and regulated
the level of countless plutocrats
twenty first contemporaries
disproportionately wealthy among the rat pack
regarding those monetarily endowed
(inherited or bullied)
true blue titans of American industry
ranked next in line
incorporated olde monied class,
and nouveau riche
which closest entity to bourgeoisie
analogous to robber barons
among populace of yesteryear)
ruled over déclassé indigent outliers
wherein I grovel along
until death do me part.

Otherwise wordily titled: pooped out
after pouring bucketfuls of water into
place of ablutions
all the while skipping to my loo
umpteen times courtesy bathtub faucet
turned toward hot temperature
so toilet would finally,
magnificently, and royally flush.

As ofttimes occurred in the past
anonymous reader's time
I once again promise to waste
concerning asinine verbiage
without this bard **** feeling shamefaced
broadcasting his fealty
to posterior predilections must appear
(as rearing to volley rebuttal
against fans of mine) yours truly
ofttimes discusses that byproduct,
which issues out buttucks) narrow-based
if not downright banal, gross, offal... in haste
to craft something more philosophical
how craven ***** talk
whereby theme doth self debase.

I excreted a bowel movement
moments ago today April 11th, 2024
at approximately two thirty post meridian
substantial enough to sink battleship
(maybe ye experienced tsunami after effects)
laboriously dumping bucketfuls of hot water
insync with applying plunger found me a drip
with perspiration, and would have possibly found
site manager and/or maintenance man to flip
(a rare sight to behold

worth inconvenience of clogged toilet bowl),
which yours truly felt strain in back muscles
as he poured bucketfuls of water from his hip
accidentally splashing water
on bathroom floor
yes your honor
(necessitating **** deck to evacuate)
if thee choose to sit in judgeship
but please be mindful
to restrain giving me any lip

cuz atypical dilemma I figuratively did nip
in the bud, yet foresee similar outcome
sure as this...
once upon a sage, rosemary and parsnip
herbaceous generic fellow sought readership
ideally landing webbed wide world trip
heralded all along as a V.I.P.,
where fanfare for this common man
enjoying Appalachian Spring,
would find his doggerel
induced listeners to yip.

While out Christmas shopping at Mall Of America with Our Spanky Gang of Little Rascals, who should we bump into but, Scrooge, Fezziwig, Fred, Bob Cratchit, Mrs. Cratchit,Tiny Tim, Jacob Marley main fictitious characters drawn upon under belly, of real life mid eighteen hundreds lowliest British (thermal unit) poverty stricken caste. Das scribe sketched out their soul full collective misfortune, without virtue, but plenti via a vice, which storied lives depicted (i.e. being penniless, dime a dozen, a day late, and dollar short penury) courtesy, sans prolific imagination of Charles Dickens “ Christmas Story”. They unexpectedly, uninhibitedly and unwittingly broke the binding loose after being bound within whirled wide web of make believe close to two hundred years. Freed from the paginated constraints (analogous to a prisoner, who broke free after long confinement to solitary confinement, when initially handed down life sentence for terroristic sabotage resulting in deaths per scores of innocent people), an utter lack of social graces immediately, plainly, and shockingly exhibited by various aggressive behavior. Crowd (then ground) control to Major Tom couched via heavy duty security details appeared helpless. The muddling, middling, maddening motley crue swarmed, rampaged, and quashed an attempt by the Police (who crafted a spurious Sting operation predicated on the baddest Beastie Boys Culture Club, who excelled at being Foo Fighters), which immediately appeared ineffective against a handful of raggedy, pesky, and nasty Marxist/Leninist lumpenproletariats. Helter skelter, mayhem and bedlam found these hoodlums, hooligans, hooting imps a indistinct English dialect. Even Tiny Tim showed braggadocio defying his lame physical state. Scrooge attested to be in seventh heaven, or the closest he would get. Despite total ignorance apportioned these anachronistic figments gross, heedless, insubordinate jubilant kooky lust (made manifest marrying narcissism ogling pricey quirky random  tchotchkes. Any civility escaped filthy hands hoisting incredibly jealous mannikins. Sir real quite peculiar phenomena overtook natural mundane lives. The growing horde of astonished onlookers (under a sheltering sky) made haste unsure if the ghost of Marley will scare away oblivious buyers (eyeing various and sundry widgets, trinkets, thingamabobs, knickknacks gimcracks, gewgaws, fribbery, bibelots baubles) where (timid) Tiny Tim (who tip toed thru the Tulips) frightened aggressive, purveyors of said merchandise. Insult against ideology, modernity, reality took a giant leap, who of all people, but The Merchant of Venice made a cameo appearance issuing forth asper a tempest in a teapot, a dome mass scandal, and danced the night away with the Ghost of Christmas Past, where the hallowed purposelessness purchasing presents per perps, squirts, twerps, et cetera essentially the intended  thread to weave warped  wonderment of mine, but (dippity and Scoobie) doo to a very bad hair day, my ability to communicate in a clear concise manner compromised sprung extremely flat limp follicles that usually puff up on the head (as big as a Soundcloud) of this GoDaddy, who will help fend off feisty Goo Goo Dolls.

I believed fortune cookie maxim
cryptic message couched
Apple Macbook Pro update process
alternately titled “markedly
a Luke warm welcome Matt unfurled
courtesy Jimmy John,
who embarked on
imp apostle bull mission
going to find Mark Twain.”  

After wracking my brain
deducing I declare what
constituted impossible mission
to delineate purpose of these words,
after initialled written
about six and a half years ago
my best hunch (backed up
while holed up in Notre Dame),
I agonizingly dutifully didst attempt
to distract anticipatory anxiety,

(analogous to an expectant father)
while delicate protracted procedure
ticked away the minutes,
where learned hands
gingerly tweezered various and sundry
state of the art electronic
components while trained fingers
instinctively, expertly, and admiringly
wrought awesome results
bitta bing bitta bang under the hood

of cherished Apple product
courtesy wizards hunkered down
troubleshooting laptop to restore functioning
of sophisticated electronic machine  
to ideal factory settings
quality control capability promised
nothing short of a miracle,
whereby engrossed deep thinkers
echoed the sound of silence
thru the corridors of time

olly olly gluten
free ranging NON GMO, oxen
oiled lubricated cloven hoof
nsync cup aided toot tune
to clacking choppers
activated after this chap
dialed up favorite technical director
using his latest smarts
vaunted from years
of breathing, eating, and living

malfunctioning circuits
housed on motherboard
exemplifying divine computer devices
generated by brain child
videre licet avast array
of embedded electronic components
back in the day
Electronic Numerical Integrator
and Computer (ENIAC),
completed in 1946

necessitated taxing physical prowess
additionally forced human interventionists
to shout over din o'er
loud grumbling within bowel
of bulky binary beast of burden
along vaguely similar scenario
buzzfeeding abdominal anatomical beast
easily appeased when yours truly
a gluttonous gourmand,
tasking me to commence upon

ordering food glorious food,
which magically and mysteriously appeared,
after manifold fiery breath
spewed by amazing dragons
**** forming breath taking
heart stopping mind bending
sensational aural and visual feast
low and behold
wresting, teasing, releasing soundcloud
an appetizer to sense
and sensibility tete a tete

while inhabiting (neigh – riding)
caparisoned painted ponies
segueing faux horse sense
(animated, captured, framed
and linkedin within carousel of time)
courtesy tony Apple iPhone X - 256 GB
Silver Verizon amazing pièce de résistance,
sans technological fetes
with CDMA/GSM ringtones,
where a pleasant fecund female

bot tilled voice didst greet
prepping, priming, promoting
Crowded House serving
blue plate special of the Green day
dis "FAKE" kin listener eagerly
awaited: salivating, simulating
****** soothing sans savory souffle,
the first culinary ******* savory dish,
after aye parked,
positioned, and plunked gluteus

near swinging doors leading into kitchen,
where this word maven strategically
dip posited said maximus to attempt
futile gastronomic endeavor
tum maximize tempering torturous tenacious
devastatingly deadly assault steaming enemy
disarmed disguised, and dismantled,
resplendent redolent redoubt
digitally remastering and remixing
non discerning indistinct aromas

emanating from naked lunch to supper esse
overwhelming paroxysms to gorge
putting a ritzy lid on heated fiery dogged
craving powder milk dog biscuits
(an impossible mission), where oozing,
licking, insinuating filaments
commingled as cutthroat
nemesis cooly whipped
devastatingly weeknd ecstasy
wickedly wafting, seducing,

satiating, and salivating
courtesy olfactory foramen,
deflecting incessant onslaughts
induced famished fellow
to reevaluate, relinquish,
and revisit his Weltanschauung soup per bowl,
while simultaneously commandeering cutlery
to attack, besiege, conquer
condemning delegate
of China ware without tea zing,

thence indiscriminately marshaling choppers
to set up base camp at Oral-B
(heeding flying pie warnings, where shewing
should desserts foe ment Hunger)
eggs sauce er baited
onslaught of herbaceous,
fabulous, delicious, and bodacious
culinary cuisine aromatic eats
thoroughly teasing growling stomach
steeping interminable suspenseful,

seven star Michelin magicians
empowered to transform most anything
(such as bilge water,
road **** or septic tank)
gourmet experienced huckster longingly *****
doubled as famished
Norwegian Bachelor farmer,
equating odoriferous garbage truck
on par suckling swollen teats
patience caved to restrain noshing

impaling his strict credo
on dustbin of his story
never again *** chew gnawing
even knuckles sandwich of fingers or toes
squishy human digits
texture of imported dates,
which hunger artist experienced pangs
voilà nothing short
of Pan's Labyrinth lesson,
did justice minimally satiated afterwards,

a restauranteur hoof hall
hues highbrow opinion,
hence a short survey about ambience,
yours truly will rate
perhaps unwise of an every
Jimmy John Joe gourmand
tubby biased after an apple ala carte blanche
preceded with delicious
hors d'oeuvre high marks
more nerve wracking
than going on a blind date.

And of course with enticing
forkful of flagrant food
Beep ping Update
completely disrupted first mouthful.

while channeling the energy of Google
exemplified by cute and cuddly moogle.

I awoke from mid-day siesta
exuding peaceful easy feeling
total all encompassing bliss
suffused body electric of mine.

Ecstasy resonated within these lovely bones
triggering subliminal stimuli from head to toe
profound tranquility linkedin
entire corporeal essence,
what me worry mindset
bundled every nerve
transcendent state issued forth
analogous to standing
in the middle of an intersection,
where converged sense and sensibility
without pride or prejudice
experienced as ******* natural high
rippling into soothing nexus
of acute momentary emotional nirvana
watching within third eye blind
"the quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog"
which sentence contains
all the letters of the alphabet
if in doubt (take a pawn)
and Google for yourself.

Despite any care and concern
within the webbed wide world,
I seemed to float above the fracas,
especially the fiasco of the fires
their utter ruination laying waste
entire Los Angeles neighborhoods
seen from afar absolute zero familiarization,
a futile endeavor trying
to identify any hint of recognition
impossible mission to comprehend
the mind boggling death and destruction
encompassing the second largest city
within the contiguous United States
far as the eye can see
extensive obliteration and desolation
analogous to aftermath
of dropped atomic bombs
unleashing their powerful fury
minus the radiation fallout
offering foretaste of
hell on earth annihilating life,
liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
shaking and baking bedrock faith
witnessing enraged shaking fists
screaming (at the top of one's seared lungs)
accursed blasphemy exploding
against omnipotent creator
questioning unfair punishment,
nevertheless birthing good samaritans
offering emotional nurturance
while drones buzzfeed
truckloads of information
using radio frequency (RF) communication
through a data link, sending data
like location, altitude, speed,
and live video footage
from the drone's camera back
to the ground control station
via a dedicated transmitter and receiver,
typically operating on frequencies
like 2.4 GHz or 5.8 GHz
depending on the drone model
and intended range;
this allows for real-time control
and monitoring of the drone's flight.

Suddenly doggone petty trials
and tribulations in Lake Wobegon
(my adopted hometown out there on the prairie
offtimes visited by Garrison Keillor)
finds us speechless, and numb
structures of silence
crackling, popping and snapping
courtesy non-verbal communication
linkedin to eerie decimation
courtesy ferocious acceleration of Santa Ana winds
strong, dry, and hot winds that blow
from the inland areas of Southern California
towards the coast, typically originating
from a high pressure system
over the Great Basin desert,
causing them to be very warm and dry
as they descend through mountain passes,
often exacerbating wildfire risks;
they got named
after the Santa Ana Mountains
through which they frequently flow.

Please rescue us from this godforsaken place
veritable hellscape, where angels fear ingress.

Just then an unexpected pleasant distraction
woke me from induced stupor linkedin to Los
Angeles fires jump/kick starting telepathic wife
high connection between yours truly husband
to a righteous leftist extraterrestrial establishing
an immediate cove Van Halen brotherly bond.

Here and now would be the time to exercise
opportunistic exchange of communication and
experience unconditional acceptance despite
spindleshanks, which might explain why I beak
came the laughing stock of unrelenting torment
when a student at the school of hard knocks for
knuckleheads, which barely found me earning
a diploma graduating with flying colors - black,
blue, and red, yet interestingly enough the hues
of the home planet where creatures whom yours
truly desperately wanted to be taken to, no matter
I would never get to befriend potential amazingly
literate respondents from All Poetry, Hello Poetry
Tumblr, COSMOFUNNEL, My Poetic Side, Poetry
Poetry Soup, Poetry Nook, Poetry Vibe, Prose. |
A Community for readers and writers, Neopoet | A
family of poets, and Poem Hunter, though amidst
countless bodies out beyond the outer limits of the
twilight zone hiding within dark shadows or maybe
lurking along the edge of night awaited homeboys
to regale me about learning the secret to survive
nothing short of a thermonuclear war, a bajillion
times more horrific than the tragedy that signaled
confluence of meteorological factors wrought,
hellscape in southern California global warming
suspected, nevertheless, who in their grooviest,
and wildest dreams could have thought never
in a millions years Dante's Inferno cruel
fiery fate jump/kick started lapping flames argh.

I read the horrific news from afar (no less than a
bajillion miles from Earth) transfixed watching live
action broadcast from the most sophisticated input
device (unknown to man) finding me rapt (quite an
understatement) and hypnotized fixated on the raft
of burning mansions mega million dollar homes
now chock full of tsuris unbearable unimaginable
unrecognizable fraught nouveau homeless - yes
with money in the bank to seek shelter at a pricey
glitzy accommodation tormented courtesy charred
domiciles gifted into rubble ground hovels searing
casting an everlasting impression upon mine eyes.

Inescapable nightmare reality indelibly etched numb
burrs of retinas burned with ineradicable images see
sinned with unfair indiscriminate scenes grafted in
soot to ash heaps impossible mission to differentiate
though amidst the mounds of mourning dewy eyed
resilience camaraderie witnessed salvation, where
random acts of kindness punctuated disequilibrium
while search and rescue teams combed thru debris
no matter hot embers still smoldered coalescence
generated an eerie orange otherworldly glow like
a quiet riot of Venusian topography where average
surface temperature on said planet around eight
hundred and sixty seven degrees Fahrenheit (464
degrees Celsius), making said solar body the hottest
planet in our solar system due to strong greenhouse
effect caused by its thick carbon dioxide atmosphere
earning evening star appellation qua Earth's "evil twin"
because of its thick atmosphere of carbon dioxide
and sulfuric acid, which chemical cocktail poisonous to life.

A generally cerebral acquisition
intertwining heterosexual generic guy,
who first started dating gals,
when a late teen/
early twenty something,
who overcame his shyness
courtesy consuming powder milk biscuits;
usually described as
"made from whole wheat
raised in the rich bottomlands
of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers;
so you know
they're not only good for you,
but pure... mostly.

Buy them ready-made
in the big blue box
with the picture of the biscuit
on the cover,
or in the brown bag
with the dark stains
that indicate freshness.

Whole wheat that gives
shy persons the strength
to get up and do
what needs to be done,
especially a then
first time contra dancer
such as yours truly – me!

Heavens, they're tasty, and expeditious!"

I buzzfeed jump/kickstarted to drone
how as humble male,
a propensity prevailed to secrete testosterone,
yet lament childhood's end,
an unhealthily docile boyhood
never realizing inclusion
nor fraternizing with classmates,
a stark realization throughout mein kampf.

Hence an (often feeble attempt)
to recaptcha forsaken interpersonal opportunities
when positive circumstances
appear palpable courtesy
interest exhibited toward yours truly,
or more particularly
his satisfactorily scribbled writings.

Overindulgence exuding profuse gratitude
most likely counterproductive
to teasing fledgling friendship
ofttimes recklessly voicing
expressing premature ejaculations
of amorousness linkedin
to profusion of unbounded love
invariably lobbing blitzkrieg
of desperation to undermine latent
intrigue housing initial sentiments

never vouchsafed tactile rapport
with author of these words,
whose impetuousness additionally pronounced
by inclusion of mine
America Online username
available after further correspondence
to sincere respondent
in immature hoop dreams to elicit
fantasy realization to strike up rapport.

At such hint of romance and elusive
fine prairie home companion to acquire,
I want to burst into song
with attendant accompanying acapella choir
oblivious reader would become jaundiced
regardless creative rhyme and reason,
where Rita meter maid,
actually a robot contrived thanks
be to artificial intelligence
within blink of her
sophisticated electronic eye
notices digital timer

precious minutes to display
favorable compression, depression,
disadvantageous expression,
irreversible impression,
malapropos progression,
et cetera didst expire,
who ofttimes referenced prior
experienced being flummoxed,
when few and far between
interpersonal scenarios embarrassingly
forfeited, kindled explosive charge
as if sparking electricity
issued from a shorted wire.

Amour propre frankly zapped
analogous to how swollen balloon
punctured or loosed from fingerhut
erratically zips thru air
flitting to and fro hither and yon
resembling how
on two separate occasions
witnessed bat out of hell or cowbird
similarly swooped dipped and dove
within our house got trapped,

(possibly fell thru fireplace flue),
whereby mother dearest shrieked
simultaneously swatting
(the only mammal
in the world that can fly)
nsync with rebel yell
(on par with exemplary performers as:
Swallowtail, the Flying Garbanzos,  
Wild Asparagus.

Within that milieu
of barnstorming hoopla,
I got me a wife
(currently taking her siesta),
though upon first setting foot
yours truly stumbled as with two left feet,
but mastered the following called steps
and routine became cakewalk.  

HOW TO CONTRA DANCE:

     Ask a partner (yea, that lonely looking gal or guy), who can never refuse to kick up heals in this rollicking shenanigan – the rumor holds that said activity the most fun one can have with his/her clothes worn.

     The caller will usually do a walk thru, which begins with the first two couples closest to the stage crew of lively musicians (frequently filling the makeshift hall with music aligned the genre of irish jigs and reels) beginning to pair off.

      After couples one and two (nearest the band) complete their quartet, this process (sans participants coupling off) continues until the foot of the line.

     Actually each duo of dancers within the foursome nearest or furthest from the podium dons the role of  “first and second” couple respectively.

     The walk thru can be helpful, especially for those unfamiliar with this social activity, which encroaches on the ordinary comfort zones because eye contact plus physical hand to hand fusion necessary.

     Many of the routines utilize various combinations of approximately a couple dozen unique moves, where each distinct extemporaneously choreographed fancy footwork utilizes a unique variation of such movements.

Though forever being a landlubber
a vision analogous to the nether world
deep within the bowels of the Earth
immensely distant from the sheltering sky
amidst a thick fog enveloped landscape
with here and there a projected
craggy, derelict chasm
precipitously crooked
rocky claws pointing toward
an infinitely wide yawning abyss
dwelt kindred spirits
comprising a Soul Asylum,
where The Grateful Dead (albeit marked
via weathered tombstones)
hermetically sealed in Davy Jones locker
once vibrant corporeal mortals
betook their eternal slumber.

Echoing from one end
of the universe to the other
putting to shame the initial big bang
ranking as a mere whimper
that original primordial blast,
which cosmological exploits
generated heavenly sphere instantaneously
comparison viz Krakatoa times Googleplex
essentially reduced to insignificance
albeit on the analogous tinker toy
premised conjectures of brilliant minds
that could only gander feeble educated guesses
asper extraordinary natural phenomena
mortal mankind could never approximate
as belligerent threats
punctuated via nuclear warfare
merely rates as a flickr amidst
uber kindle jump/kick starting,
pinteresting snap chatting
tinder blinks, extinguishes,
snuffs out one lowly
Beatle browed bipedal simian.

While reading the above text,
I could barely keep my eyes opened
and practically dozed off
as the lapping of the ocean
buffeted our sturdy small cruise ship.

Lazing about the "Fo'c'sle..."
sailors situated upon upper deck of their ship
spotted what appeared
to be a humongous, ominous looking,
phenomenal, shape-shifting massive entity
fused between distant land and infinite sky
and moving at lightspeed
toward the prow of their ship.

Within lil more'n a day at most
the coming fury
would impose the wrath of God,
whereby nobody forced
small number of young and old salt
more familiar to the briny deep
then the terra firma underfoot
into the impossible mission
to weather the maelstrom
already passed the point of no return
far too late to never call retreat
tempest will challenge
cutting crew to a ferocious brawl
trumpeting tempestuous donnybrook
chalk slam dunk March madness
closes curtain call
“in like a lion, out like a lamb,”
twill hove tested survivability,
asper flora, thru harsh winter, and
those most searing robust
will have passed thru
brutish, nasty, and short assay
compliments Poseidon
(known as Neptune
in Roman mythology)
upon weathering,
mustering survival skills
and the psyched
by shear blessedness
that lovely lass,
(and countless small children)
awaits sea dogs after pulling thru hellacious
allowing, enabling, and providing
each experienced hand
to “Hoist himself by his own petard,”
with attendant motivating prospect videlicet
regarding unbridled love
the mere thought of leaving behind
a young widow summons
pent up latent energy bursting asunder
envisioned hardened Jack-tar
to cavort, frolic, instigate
wham bam thank you ma'am
soon after making landfall
lollygagging, orchestrating, romancing
while birds and bees pollinate
seeds of life and white lily
jamming, humming, fostering sensational slam
dance, where flora lifts, wafts, and yawps
spring fever that busted out all over
invoking nine months later warble(s), gurgle(s),
burble(s) from new born baby
being rocked back and forth
enroute to visit grandmum
comfortably situated within tram
pleasantly dreaming courtesy
rhythmic clattering over tracks.

though two thousand nine hundred
will be here in seventy five years,
a mere blink of the eye
never to early
to think about fêted occasion
which marks the beginning
of the 22nd century.

if not yourself (dear reader)
than think about generations to come
(thus far without an appellation),
who will point to old faded photographs
exclaim, and chuckle
while ribbing the person
next to them -
possibly their living social kith and kin,
which relationships), where said freeze frame
portrays folks staring and smiling back
at a time when MAGA
imposed a heavy hand
(think iron maiden ruled),
the constitution and
declaration of independence
long since made a mockery
on what used to be inalienable rights
of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
essentially giving rise to an underground,
where scions of musky Trump's heirs
ruled the United States of America ever since
by bigfooted diktats, fiats, et cetera.

byzantine cradle to grave strictures
(courtesy the invisible hand
of big brother and sister)
mandated every citizen
except the one percent quadrillionaires
to pay obeisance
with blood and a pound of flesh if necessary
come hell or high water;
should one get hashtagged
as catchall term insubordinate,
which loosely translated
meant a subject defied,
whether accidentally or purposely
some arbitrary obscure law
(envision if you will -
the judge's gavel as if on cue
comes down hard and fast with a guilty verdict),
cuz even the least serious violation
warranted harshest sentence
matter of fact
any and all infractions
the dictator conveniently considered
punishable misdeeds as capital offense,
meant an automatic decree of death,
and should the unfortunate soul find him/herself
at the receiving end of harsh punishment,
(which can be guaranteed without fail),
he/she owned sole freedom
to choose their demise;
essentially government
controlled every breath one took
from conception to death
until that final exhalation,
which expiration of subject
decreed by coroner
named B. Aaron number xyz.

right into the slammer
one went if out the mouth one gave cheek
long haired pencil necked geek
being unduly submissive and meek
considered an advantage under regime(s)
that promised to be brutal,
nasty and short forcing
doubting thomas to hobble
along after receiving a whack,
and unsavory tweet and tweak
about the nose or ears.

thus genetic engineers bred
docile traits passive as a human
being part and parcel of the grateful dead,
nevertheless an occasional chromosomal quirk
transmitted emboldened individual,
whereat he/she fled,
yet authorities eventually found miscreant
and gave him/her unforgettable
pistol whipping over their head
essentially wreaking vengeance
renting asunder comfortably numb noggin
rendering freshly minted jughead,
whereat moments before
once brilliant brainiac
lost considerable intelligence quotient points
no smarter than a block of lead.

Warning: The following material no worse than getting cooties. I remember them way back in grade school, whereat everyone ran away from me with worse luck than Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, who kissed the girls and made them cry, when the girls came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away.

My humblest apology
if the following account
doth gross thee out
forlorn childhood of mine,
but remembrance of things
past icky and sticky
bumper crop of divine
nose diving delectable
diamonds secreted by
the mucous membranes
of the respiratory
passages, especially when
produced in excessive
or abnormal quantities,
e.g., when someone
is suffering from a cold
found further ostracization
of me tantamount
being shipped off
to a leprosarium.

As a chronic gold digger
in early grade school,
specifically within nasal passages,
I excelled at
locating awesome gooey gems.

The pinky seemed
most opportune for
button nose of mine as most
convenient handy dandy
blue's clues implement
to mine for juicy
succulent wads of yuck.

Early academic ex: pear
re: ants helped refine
delicate art of reaching
pitch perfect snot.

This individual craft essentially
entails extensive dexterity
in conjunction with
recognizing ideal picking time.

If one plunges
the little finger prematurely,
nothing but a glob
of **** will dribble out.

Best to wait until rock
hard sensation felt
when applying pressure to
either nostril.

The consistency of rock candy the
best analogy for this
other than tasteful habit
instinctively learned when
being housed in the womb.

Upon birth one
or more phalanges often
solidly locked where mucus generated.

This common medical
condition frequently requires
delicate intervention
(usually minor surgery)
to separate glued
gummy intertwined proboscis
from fleshy mitts.

As a natural born miner for
the most moist
and choice septum byproduct,
this lad as one gangly
whipper snapper mastered
the art of sifting
thru the sinus cavity to extricate
boulder sized buggies
wrote the book on the
ole factory chews.

Unlike many other young
children who fancied
this fun hunt for miniature crusty
crab cakes like formations
as delectable treats,
this grown man
when a little boy chose
to paste them on under
side of his desk.

No particular strategy for affix
sing goop upon
the underneath section of old
fashion unit (whereby
the top opened up and
provided a dish like formation
to store materials)
motivated this daily
cultivating for ripe buggies.

Within very few months,
the front most section
became quite thick
with wads of buggies that
quickly hardened into
scaly coating displeasing
even to my
high tolerance for gross.

Since no preliminary
measure for measure
took place to map out
where to place
the collection of daily glob,
inevitable contact took place
with aging dried
buggies that felt
like molting shells of insects.

Nightmares eventually
took place incorporating
this scary goblin
like creature (usually dripping
lugi with mossy slime),
which sought out his
insatiable hunger for buggies.

In these dreams,
I tended to be honored
with razor sharp fangs
and dagger type fingernails.

The latter came
in particular service
to probe my pinocchio-
sized smeller with
amazing ease to scrape
practically to the brain
(and perhaps some
grey matter did
get unintentionally removed)
to appease the buggy monster.

Soon after wake
king up in a start
from this nightmare (when
outsize still pitchblack),
a blurry image seemed
to dart away
leaving soggy footprints
closely resembling phlegm!

regarding President elect
Donald John Trump.

As a cruel joke to self,
I imagined myself as a Republican
for that one glorious day
voting for the candidate
who clinched the nomination
as our next commander in chief
and still reeling in the heady years
when said unnamed person
graced the covers
of countless magazines,
(especially those hard copy publications
with a politically right bent),
and electronic mass media platforms
when one felt proud
being the sole pachyderm in the room.

Within mein hermitage
now dwells one
disheveled miserable
troglodyte with a pet gecko,
who wept a tearful river of joy
upon hearing unbelievable news,
(about a lucky man with panache,
whose ghost writer wannabe
yours truly would relish),
albeit at snail's pace schlepped

finally proclamation emancipation
gave reasonable rhyme
yours truly to *******
not prematurely,
subsequently I leapt
out the window
without a parachute
of penthouse suite apartment
into the air, and kept
myself aloft completing

one after another sumersault,
flapping vestigial wings
at the speed of sound and except
for minor nuisance of gravity,
nevertheless landed feet first and crept
a secret portal
back into mine man cave adept
to survive alone
in the wilderness
with pointers
from the late **** Proenekke.

Two hundred and ninety five electoral votes
in layman's terms 72,600,307 votes (50.9%)
tallied across country,
gave ample reason
to do the hustle videlicet
grinding hips and bump
with the missus
decked out as Wilma Flintstone
after Trump declared victory
in a brief trunk hated speech,
an excerpt taken
quoting his exact words
at the Palm Beach
convention center in Florida.

"I’ll be fighting for you, and with every breath in my body,” Trump told supporters who had gathered at Palm Beach County Convention Center to cheer him on. “I will not rest until we deliver the strong, safe and prosperous America that our children deserve and that you deserve.”

Admirable, (yet reviled)
teetotaler contender
who hailed from Queens
orating at above named venue
finally plopped and fizzed out,
whose non verbal
body language issued relief,
thus spoke volumes
after Kamala Harris formerly
deprecated, implicated, and prosecuted  

adequately bad mouthed
to curry distasteful impression
of freshly minted sexagenarian
fêted after his unrigged win
analogous to reeling
once in a lifetime
catch of the day
hook line, and sinker  
anchored courtesy Taj Mahal replica
nearly bankrupted him
into dustbin of history

good ciao electorate voted in
lovable loutish oaf,
which four years ago
majority of voters chose to dump
best mandated to cavort
with zoot suited frump
on any given Wednesday
available to ****
rotund barenaked lady merging
into humongous protoplasmic lump.

Despite being caught
red handed concerning
more'n where's the beef
burnished braggadocio brilliantly
stole 2016 election
under nose of Hillary Clinton
abused role, when tasked
as commander in chief,
nevertheless touted with bravado

courtesy totalitarian zealots
across the webbed wide world
good ole Charlie Brown nemesis
deportation apologist
causing nothing but good grief,
hence yours truly quite elated
upon occasion when figurative new leaf
turned over and booted out
as more daring than Baghdad thief.

Hit the ground running
with nary a second to waste
Donald Trump, when
Mike Pence and company at the helm
blindsided proving their steely eyed mettle
despite victory lap Democrats did taste
ushered in COVID-19 game plan
bolstering pandemic defences,
where prior administration sorely misplaced
priorities United States Lady Liberty
wantonly, undeservedly, subsequently
her reputation disgraced.

Hope springs eternal -
ah tis amazing grace
yours truly suddenly
brimming with optimism
able bodied diverse cabinet to erase
formerly inept sycophants
with intentions base
running amok within White House
at long last competent
candidate won the race,
this tatterdemalion doth welcome
ye back Donald Trump,
no matter pulled off disappearing act
at Mar-A-Lago without a trace
sore loser teed off absent American
delivering his humiliating
defeat coup de grâce.

Adieu after presenting façade  
gussied poetic opinion editorial
donning guise as antithetical braying donkey
failing miserably to convince readers
without the help of  “artificial intelligence”
I cannot succeed generating “fake news”
dressed up as a senseless rhyme.

unabashedly dole out unadulterated
indirect flattery to a porcelain moon goddess.

I found myself figuratively
falling head over heels
inexplicably, cuz courtesy the website
Prose | A virtual community
of readers and writers,
an attractively enchanting female participant 
unwittingly, unsuspectingly and unknowingly
triggered the writer
of these words to become beguiled
and emblazon the sentence
mein kampf and hard times
(ambiguous coded message)
to further an electronic exchange
of mutually assured emotional construction
inadvertently, inextricably, and inordinately
bending, forging, and nudging our lives to coincide
with a mutually profound realm
of hidden cerebrally ******* treasure,
not unlike an archeologist
accidentally stumbling upon a rare discovery
of unknown persons
(recording stone age arousal
of fondling buttucks of babe in the woods),
who trod across the terra firma
across the lunar landscape
when **** sapiens
merely consisted of
scattered and vulnerable tribes
analogous to any other animal
seeking basic instinct
for ultimate procreation of race
likened to the Gibbs brothers
titled song Stayin' Alive
courtesy survival of the fittest.

Hopefully herewith
a genuine amorous proposition
as the modus operandi
to reciprocate thru cyberspace
will at the least provoke a mild chuckle,
whereby I can envision upturned smile on her face
imagining definite essence of beauty to interlace
slender fingers, while I best dismiss rash fantasy
of any substantial tactile expressions of affection
simply predicated upon infatuation
grown from approximately
a half dozen positive acknowledgements
expressing pleasure at reading my postings, 
whence immediate and uncontrollable lust
burst forth like a giant fountainhead
a minor inconvenience Atlas shrugged
toward a lovely specimen of the fairer ***,
which faux pas will most likely
seal fate against further discourse,
nevertheless sentiments spill forth unbridled
blindingly, and sheepishly guiding me toward 
a veritable stranger, though if these eyes
chanced to be blessed
with even a single cursory glance,
no doubt she would look -
obvious dissimilar constituting a generic gal
cuz espied genuine
incorporeal karmic manifestation
would immediately exhibit
the epitome of elegance and good taste
though already penultimate
consummation of actual ******* doth outpace
rhyme or reason, and logical positivism
dictating ditching broadcasting assiduous fantasy,
plus such juvenile premature ejaculations
(unsuitable to a casual
boyish looking sexagenarian),
who like a fool rushes off,
where angels fear to tread
expressing amorousness,
cuz downplaying the necessity
of erecting respectable
initial trusting platonic friendship
and preliminary stages of casual familiarity
reinforcing initial intuition
nullified thru the Internet,
which mecca for social media platforms
dispenses with conventional established paradigm,
and promulgates instant gratification
blindsiding rational behavior
aptly crafted with the storied novel
by the late writer Tom Wolfe
when he coined the phrase
"Old rotten Gotham
sinking/slinking into the behavioral sink"
a metaphorical phrase
that describes the city of Gotham
(from Batman comics)
as being in a state of extreme
social decay and decline,
where overpopulation, stress,
and lack of resources leading to widespread
societal breakdown and dysfunctional behavior,
much like the concept of a "behavioral sink"
observed in animal studies
where overcrowding causes
erratic and destructive behaviors.

My humblest apology for scattershot thoughts,
cuz I quickly dashed off the above
cuz the missus wants time on our only laptop,
a MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015).

courtesy ******* minus preemptive measures
while plugg naughty bits of tarnished knight
while he took tea and crumpets within mistress's boudoir

The following verses typed out some years ago,
but equally pertinent and relevant to the ebb and flow
of my life today, and as ye become familiar with me
time and tide will tell lo'
more to thee just ask me and I (a letterman) will show.

After viewing Netflix
documentary life after death
portraying instances
where subject(s) pronounced
courtesy words one rapt listener
doth most fearfully dread
according to metrics
regarding absent heartbeat
and absolute zero brain activity,
yet after span of countless minutes
came back into the realm of consciousness
methinks mebbe mourning one grateful dead
premature ******* er utterance
superfluous and no longer acceptable

analogous to gasoline without lead
or also on par with emotional immaturity
still leaving psychological repercussions
bombarding the inside of mein head
admittance being immature
since taught me delicate
diplomacy of relationships
which deprivation of healthy
linkedin heterosexual rapport bred
hunger to appease libidinal longings
tugging, pulsating, jumpstarting the *****.

Nsync with variations on said theme:
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades
reduced as common ****** meme
mostly I did merrily wet
whet aye ever did dream.)

The missus personal trappings
strewn helter skelter
every perilous step fraught
with danger analogous
riding as passenger
with death cab for cutie
'course thy Queen
of denial feigns ignorance
attributes hazardous condition
linkedin with accident prone
little Lord Fauntleroy's
double doppelganger, me
trumpeting pet husband,
her unrequited germane Liebchen
willing to risk life and limb
doting hand and foot
as proper husbandly duties.

He (ahem... me) exhibits drama
whimsically visiting slapstick pantomime
especially pretending to remove sneakers
pulling with all my feeble strength
off little feet of wife
half-heartedly struggling,
lamely denouncing marriage
nevertheless conveying jollity
regarding marital entrapment
er... rather unbridled wedded bliss
constituting fits and starts enduring
about two dozen years.

I reciprocated amorousness,
whether toward MaryAnne,
(his long ago coldly dismissed
sagacious enchanting first paramour,
(half a dozen years my senior),
whose astrological forecast
accurately predicted promising
acquaintanceship/relationship
potential soul mates
(approximately two plus four score years ago -
gone to naught),
which latter aforementioned humble lass

decried he fomented
incessant emotional grief,
he cruelly (albeit unwittingly)
doled out nothing
but lackluster lovelessness
attributed to identical
zodiac signs (Capricorn)
(matter of fact shared same birth date
January 13th - six years age difference)
stubborn misconstrued perception,
whereby fancy free and footloose
selfish nasty short brute nevertheless
deemed himself loutish
undeserving of love - humph!

Addeneum: Approximately four decades
re: one quarter century after
aforementioned baptismal initiation
love stricken  paroxysm
forty fifth president of United States
took (i.e. plagiarized) many pages courtesy,
cruel playbook authored
by fella pseudonym self named Jane A. Rug,
who left trail of heartbroken sage woman
commander in chief deliberately stoked,
née sparked long
simmering smoldering, and stewing
long festering white supremacist altercation
fiendishly igniting racial conflagration
exploding during late spring 2020.

No matter no child left behind kibitzing
(yours truly as boy plucked petals
off daisy reciting "she loves me,"
"she loves me not"...
cupid loosed an arrow
into boyhood neighborhood sweetheart
she innocently bespoke
"I wanna marry you,"
when uttered courtesy Sherry Jones,
a little girl who lived
approximately three doors down
along cul-de-sac within Apple Valley

perpendicular to Lantern Lane,
or more age apropos,
when young gallivanting
purported vestal ****** ladies
nonverbally signalled
libidinal proclamations of emancipation,
as demurely expressed
lest unlucky (chaste into)
precocious ******* proclivity
suffered the punishment
of being buried alive.

Now back to present day,
when our old geezer,
the prototype garden variety
male of present poem -
any resemblance between general referenced
fella and living persons purely coincidental.

He (yours truly) easily qualified as
overly cocky whippersnapper,
i.e. young buck and/or Casanova wannabe
experienced bit torrent
hormonal secretions gushed
particularly in close proximity
wherein wafted pheromones -
think a waif faring ingénue.

As evident and quite obvious,
I fabricate (prevaricating
my signature trademark)
rather than stating bland reality stark,
yet will plainly explain issue
in summary essential rhyme
without reason constitutes
nothing more spectacular than
garden variety generic pockmark
excised pustule ofttimes hallmark
of teenage/ pubescent pimply benchmark.

not just in time for Valentine's Day
but the remaining days of our lives
as the world turns
on all our children
the young and restless
now grown to womanhood

After being married
for nearly three and a half score years,
(our eldest daughter,
will celebrate her twenty ninth birthday
December 22, 2025,
hence you dear reader do the basic math),
I must admit a dynamic between me
and the missus, a gal who ofttimes claims
without a shadow of a doubt,
when she first set eyes upon yours truly -
a veritable stranger to her,
whose lips of mine
she hankered to plant a smooch,
I would have gladly welcomed
an unexpected pleasant kiss met,
(this then handsome late twenty/early
thirty something singular male
deeply engrossed with his nose in a book
while sitting on the steps
outside of Summit Presbyterian Church
located at 6757 Greene Street,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19119),
knew now confessed courtesy female intuition
that instant karma
would foretell wedding bells
(scaring the bejesus out of me
at the prospect of spending
living years with spunky future bride )
despite countless ugly falling out scenarios,
especially sparked red hot poker rage,
when I adamantly blurted out
an ambition to date other women
canoodling with fecund enthralling gamines
just the mere thought of *******
drove pepe le pew into ******* mode
flights of fancy, which activated
an immediate and instantaneous *******,
(albeit puny poor excuse for a pulsating *****),
automatically triggering libidinal urge
seething with hormonal secretion),
and subsequent premature *******
said utterances of mine
to play the field of whet dreams
witnessed explosive verbal altercations
threatening violent outcome,
but who came to the rescue,
but none other than one
hulking hero named Frank Glass,
(he moved pianos for a living,
which explained outsize Popeye arm muscles),
he unwittingly served as a guiding light
keeping at bay dark shadows
creeping closer from the edge of night
intervened and smothered
potential Jerry Springer drama,
whereat the four foot eleven inch woman,
would still not accept "no" as an answer
no matter angry laced expletives
hurled like rocket propelled grenades
out the mouth of one ordinarily docile dude
undoubtedly kindled atrocious, contentious,
ferocious, jocoserious, and odious outbursts
heard all the way clear across to Compton
even thugs from the Crips and Bloods
took pause between their turf battles
to admire pugilistic suckerpunches
charging the air supply with crackling electricity.

Between stints of contra dancing
we exchanged glaring looks that could ****,
and afterward while walking
on opposite sides of the street
trudging to our respective vehicles
simultaneously exchanging nasty black barbs
lobbed off our respective tongues
each against the other
with heightened vindictiveness
cutting down to size
the person eventually
grudgingly accepted as my girlfriend
introduced and accepted with tepid response
from members of the Harris family,
likewise future groom
received icy cold unwelcome reception from
Zison patriarch and matriarch,
nevertheless in fits and starts
companionability fostered unspoken detente
eventually encouraging affectionate rapport
flavoring more hospitable tête-à-tête
slowly but surely inducing
overt unbridled yearning
(analogous blinding concupiscence)
tripped love making wire,
whereat most every opportunity
found us consorting,
ginning healthy interactions
allowing, enabling, and providing
a natural segue bedding down together day or night,
whether at 324 Level Road
or 1148 Greentree Lane
living together feigning wedded bliss
absent the minor issue of birth control,
unbeknownst to us earning kudos
from The Roman Catholic church,
which forbids contraceptive use
because it represents a sin against nature,
and premarital *** as well,
thus upon discovering visa vis
blithely engaging in unprotected ***
lo and behold bitta bing bitta band
begetting the future mother
of our eldest offspring
unwittingly helped definitive decision
to be made and marriage invitations
got made and handed out
to a select small number of people
exchanging holy matrimony vows
courtesy justice of the peace Henry J. Schireson,
who officiated legal proceedings,  
a Pennsylvania magisterial district judge
for Montgomery County Magisterial District,
which low key event
occurred July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six.

After dark every Halloween
since living social in Perkiomen Valley
for seven long years,
a shrill whistle train whistle
(often compared to the sound
of a bird's call, particularly
a large bird like a hawk or a crane,
due to its piercing, high-pitched
and long-lasting whistle-like quality)
soundcloud heard
from afar clear as a bell,
yet nary a train present
since locomotives stopped running
through Schwenksville, Pennsylvania valley in 1976,
when Pennsylvania Railroad
gave up its rail assets
to Consolidated Rail Corporation (Conrail).

However, some passenger "rambles" took place
from Reading to Schwenksville in the late 1960s.
Matter of fact beginning at the junction
of the Schuylkill River Trail in Oaks,
the trail uses much of the former rail bed
of the Perkiomen Line of the Reading Railroad.

The Perkiomen Trail
created in 2003, often called, the “Perky”,
the trail rolls down the valley
of Perkiomen Creek,
which may have been a reference
by local American Indians
to the surrounding cranberry bogs.

The northern end of the trail begins
at Morrow Pavilion in Green Lane Park,
where trail users can find parking and restrooms.

The 20-mile Perkiomen Trail
follows the route of the Perkiomen Creek
from Oaks to Green Lane Borough.

It connects to the Schuylkill River Trail
and the Audubon Loop.

For most of its length, the "Perky,"
known by many, uses the former rail bed
(as iterated earlier)
of the Perkiomen Line of the Reading Railroad.

Every other time of year
outer limits of the twilight zone
spread dark shadows,
which creep along the edge of night
startling a driver unexpectedly
yet instinctually to veer
away from harm's way
courtesy a nocturnal creature,
now ghost rail activity heard to scare
the living daylights
out of atheists like myself,
who quickly utter a prayer
immediately afraid then jubilant,
cuz prevarication (housed within
a ghastly fashion) my métier,
which brilliant notion
sparked immediately, née instantaneously
after discerning unquestionable choo-choo
within a kiloampere,
a unit of measurement equal
to one thousand amperes.

An ampere is defined
as the amount of current
that flows through a conductor
when one coulomb of charge
passes through it in one second.

I describe, suddenly feeling scared
and tried to summon sense and sensibility
after scrambling to stand upright
with all my might.

Otherwise titled
recalling taking a fall
about five years ago
ala Humpty Dumpty impersonation
(and nearly cracking me noggin),
think the character
in an English nursery rhyme
opened to countless interpretations,
even resorting to ask
"ChatGPT, to finish
the Humpty Dumpty poem... Oh god..."
which complete computer generated
and visible at the following website:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChatGPT/comments/1eiu34j/chatgptfinishthehumptydumptypoemoh_god/?rdt=57502#:~:text=Here's%20the%20original%20rhyme%20with,confess­ed%20to%20a%20sinister%20bite.

As told once upon time helloo
from me matt chew
most previous poem ugh goo,
viz freak accident found ninety
degree angled desk corner (ewe
might not bull heave)
rammed, impaled, fricasseed
smack dab skew
whirred spitting out
fluid on rotisserie

preparatory for stew
right side rib cage
quite agonizing boo boo
intermittent pain analogous
to dull stabbing
finds yours truly nsync with moo
wing cow word le lion hoo
ping to schedule medical appointment
come thee morrow,
this klutz he did brew,

or maybe ghastly conspiracy
courtesy Spiro Agnew
hmm... possibly global warming
ha... puff... imagine dragon
retracting dagger type,
claws, and opening jaws of steel
eyeing thyself as main course on menu
damning self, aye packed
especially when standing askew
(hunched over tying laces re: shoe)

struck by poison arrow unleashed
no Inca ling how
indigenous people of Peru
found their way linkedin
with this Yahoo,
he swiftly strayed
outside Gulliver's travels
into good n plenti boulevard
of broken dreams

essentially, one direction avenue
mixed within gibberish goulash stew
wing conglomeration
******* courtesy "fake" parvenue
he haint goat noah idea nary a blues clue
for aforementioned stream
of consciousness and drew
whatever came to his mind - toodle loo.
Adieu... from mister MaGoo.

as jagged bolts of lightning
tore thru the the midnight clear
and figuratively ripped the sky to shreds
(analogous to jumping Jack flash),
and ear splitting thunder crackled
testing the threshold of tolerance
zombies of Sugar Hill came alive
and danced to the sound of music,
exhibiting spot on choreography
to the late Michael Jackson's thriller album,
whereat despite feigned affableness
of ineradicable purple creepy people eaters ,
the ghoulish fiendish beasts
wantonly ravaged entire hectares
(once flush with royally bountiful crops)
leaving farmer in the dell
thus rendering impossible mission
to sing Hi-**, the derry-o,
cuz his countenance
plastered with a poker face
and future offspring born this way
after mutations arose
linkedin to hardscrabble existence
forcing inhabitants to eat grass
most likely tainted with pesticides
after incorporeal supernatural beings,
who roamed across the terra firma
****** the pith and marrow
from Mother Earth until dry
then for good measure for measure
laid waste great swathes of land
from sea to shining sea
by expelling nasty
biologically hazardous waste products
(use your imagination)
subsequently bringing about demise
of all creatures great and small
far as the eye could see videre licet
think Sherman's march to the sea
triggering smoldering ruination in their wake
guaranteeing future harvest
for years to come
of nothing but scorching ash
compromising the blood, sweat and tears
and countless hours of backbreaking toil
spent sowing seeds across fruitful plains
after lush crop of vegetables
(just at the cusp of perfect ripeness)
waited to be reaped
or wolfed down by hungry human
all for naught, when homesteaders
helplessly watched in horror
ravenous, pestiferous, nefarious
loathsome jawboning haunting spectres
on par with jezebel spirit
burning down the houses
that calloused hands built
transforming breadbasket of America
into burnt offerings
of hollowed out encrustation
tell tale hulking framed charred skeletons
resembling outsize three dimensional anime
teetering upon foundations,
(where Atlas shrugged
and saw himself reflected
from birdbath pool resultant
as the above supported fountainhead
gushed a stream of water)
sabotaging family owned farms
harkening back generations,
when United States settled
by various and sundry colonists,
heeding manifest destiny
displacing and eradicating indigenous peoples
subsequently former subjects of the crown
or established vested gentry
within thirteen original colonies
by dint of force
expelled so called "noble savage"
courtesy chicanery, flattery,
and incendiary larceny,
which usurpation of bumper crops
courtesy dead souls trounced,
thus immediately creating food insecurity
for millions of people,
not only in the United States
but across the webbed wide world
goading people to be creative and scavenge,
whereby yours truly
limited his intake
of nutrients to a diet of worms...
and gluten and dairy free hors d'oeuvres
topped with icing laced
with various and sundry sized sim cards,
plus microprocessors insync
with silicon wafer chips
just for the sake
of being a curious (Georgian)
human replicated entity
within the laboratory.

A short time thereafter,
body electric of mine
slowly, inexorably metamorphosed
into a cross between
an artificially intelligent moon unit
and a beatific, biodynamic,
and bombastic hybrid entity
able, eager, ready and willing
to stand up against
marauders and riders in the storm
who commingled without pride nor prejudice
guided by sense and sensibility.

Ofttimes, I nearly find myself choking,
and frantically beck-kin
for immediate intervention in vain,
and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
that's choking on the splinters...
analogous to swallowing a vitamin
that gets stuck in my throat
and the story of mein kampf
flashes before myopic eyes
of mine, and suddenly panic
ensues jump/kick starting an
immediate repentance of all
misdeeds perpetrated since...
birth, particularly when emerging
out chrysalis of boyhood to young
adulthood becoming aware
how yours truly affected
those people who came
in contact with me,
whether directly or indirectly,
acquaintances, family, friends,
strangers, et cetera, even women,
who text and sext me
thru Facebook Messenger,
whereat my accidental and untimely death
linkedin to foreign body airway obstruction (FBAO)
after swallowing one of countless
over the counter vitamins
ironically in an attempt to stave off
contracting a contagious mortal illness,
cuz I wanted to live a healthy life
at least reaching the bicentenarian milestone
regaling younger generations
before mine instantaneous,
horrendous, grievous and frivolous
exit stage door left,
(one signature catchphrase
the ghost of Snagglepuss would envy),
whereat next of kin
found lifeless body
of Matthew Scott Harris
gratefully dead no longer truckin
from a most horrid demise,
not even Saving Private
Ryan Grace could resuscitate,
on the plus side,
he avoided fallout linkedin
after three Musk kit tears
trumpeted MAGA nuff fa cent
complements of Project 2025,
which manifesto asphyxiated
and practically snuffed out life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness
for better or worse,
(and from this point,
the poem takes on a life of its own)
deleterious ***** deeds done dirt cheap
courtesy the forty seventh president,
(whose name cannot be uttered
in polite society
lest bringing about misfortune),
yet whose administration imperiled
bedrock of democracy,
which manifesto asphyxiated
and practically snuffed out life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness
for better or worse,
thankfully I escaped webbed
wide global depredations
by dint of unexpected series
of unfortunate events
courtesy being defeated
videlicet grim reaper,
whereby the coroner averred
the deceased succumbed
to a rather torturous demise
before the end of the world as we know it
leaving two grown daughters
and a wife, (whom he wed July 1996)
and lived happily ever after
yeah right - in his whet dreams
banging on the doors
qua openings or access points
to this collective psychic realm
housing Spiritus Mundi
to be welcomed into the realm.

Despite being a nineteen year old bride
she wed Boyce Brandon Harris
half a decade her senior,
(where I ranked less than a twinkle in their eyes)
during the month of June 1955,
not quite half a century later ~ May 4th, 2005
death severed the pledge she did troth
linkedin wifely role,
cuz against her will she died
at most four weeks to be more exact
golden wedding anniversary never witnessed
raging against accursed grim reaper
countenance succumbed into collective sorrow

life force forever absent snatched away,
yet magically transformed
into the breathing edenic idyll
courtesy green thumb of eldest sister of mine
once livingsocial mother of ours
invoking trademark contagious l'chaim
flickering aura, charisma, instant karma
persona could not hide mommy dearest
physically eclipsed after
rigor mortis displayed deathly pallor
bonafide grateful dead
signed, sealed and delivered
human cargo into crematorium.

Born November 13th,1935,
the presence of long since deceased mother
her absence acutely recounted on said date,
no matter familial relationship between us,
who begat yours truly (me)
fraught with antipathy,
especially when writer of these words
felt he long overstayed his welcome
as I racked up living with parents
while being a long haired
pencil neck baby boomer geek
experiencing dating women for the first time
courtesy thursday night contra dance.

Books ravenously digested
and female protagonists he brood
as an illusory substitute for this dude
whose retreat into his bedroom
kindled like tinder unidirectional family feud
and donned Samson guise as a protective hood,
whereby Beatle browed,
foo fighting literate philosophical thinker
envied groovy hippies of the late nineteen sixties
riffing lyrics of fab four
fabled melody of Hey Jude,
where testosterone laden fantasies
triggered whet dreams housed lewd
seminal urges pestering spouse,
who offtimes rarely in the mood
for a quickie with the dickie.

Mein kampf as a thirty plus year old groom
test teasing prophylactics embarrassing
purchase never made at local drugstore
unsurprisingly, obviously, invariably...
birth control taboo subject, best to ignore
subsequently ******* awkwardly coordinated,
consummated, completed extempore
synonymous with ******* fulfillment
gonadal hormonal secretion
on par with the mythic sheet with a hole
through which ***** and archaic  
as modus operandi methodology
maternal grandparents supposedly copulated,
hence bun in the oven between self
and future missus Matthew Harris
wrought premarital *** bon jure.

I trot out essential tidbits of poem
acknowledging birthday of dear ole mom,
who succumbed to deadly terminal illness,
she lost lease on life, and met her demise
sooner than indomitable will clamored to live
approximately nineteen and a half years ago
from May 2024, who frequently asked me,
but never received acknowledgement
during her livingsocial years did abjure
(as the sole son)
communicating HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Impossible aery mission
to pinpoint when advent of zygote
triggering miraculous bitta bing bitta bang,
whence deoxyribonucleic acid wrote
legacy of mortal maternal demise
only a hunch backed up
that mystery to unleash
feral fiendish fornication once smote
yielded unicellular spore
while in utero ~ early/mid

February I ain't exactly sure
nineteen hundred thirty five - dirt poor
Harriet Harris, fourth, last born
(interesting enough shared same birthdate
with eldest sister twelve years her senior)
fetched vicinity Coney Island offshore
by stork, became favorite progeny begat
courtesy Morris, and then swore
celibacy forever more
Rebeckah Kuritsky heretofore

harbored inchoate genetic fore
boded, encoded, inscribed
deadly mutations housed,
fetched, dispatched and bore
flawed BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes sketched
affecting circumscribing her allotted mortality
orbitz equaling about six months shy
of three and a half score
unknowingly, unsuspectingly, unwittingly,
her biologic fatal demise indelibly etched.

Breast cancer first brush
sounded death knell
Harriet clocked approximately
six months shy of being a septuagenarian
orbitz around the sun,
she underwent grueling radiation
plus chemotherapy
carcinoma eradicated allowed,
enabled, provided breathing spell
reprieve accentuated, galvanized, punctuated...

newfound zealous zest almost
nothing could quell
significance pray tell
new lease on life to sell
lib berate cherish, relish, whish
each precious moment
thwarting pell mell
adversity with bon vivant elan
and gusto to issue rebel yell

kickstarting, making breast
livingsocial aye bell,
especially after despite... er... well
her double mastectomy,
she looked fabulously swell
courtesy silicon implants
slight downside reconstituted
racked ***** *****
susceptible to ooze gel.

Many years post remission telltale
diagnosis, viz ovarian,
despite requisite hysterectomy
emotionally did impale,
she instinctually, intuitively,
invariably, yet quiver and quail
against impending demise 24/7 did assail
guardian angel(s) of no avail,
nor did yours truly proffer nurturance
resentment smoldering within this male
red hot poker anger lambasting me

peppered with ultimatums to vamoose,
never got resolved ensuing estrangement
deterred reaching out to embrace,
hearing raspy fading breaths exhale,
miserably tethered with tubes
when she did severely pine ail
and grievously bewail
corporeal essence ashen pale
awkwardly, helplessly, stupidly... I stood
formidable grim reaper foe whisked mother
to Elysian fielded dale.

Earlier today March 28th, 2025
(thee hour now fifteen minutes
after eight o'clock at night, cuz
yours truly & wife paced back
and forth from one room to the
other wearing out rugged groovy
Tuesday (three day) experienced exhaustion
within anticipatory anxiety
while feeling foreboding regarding
impending inspection courtesy
funding source for low income
rental community R(ural)
H(ousing) D(evelopment)
facility named Highland Manor
Apartments allowing, enabling,
& providing safety and security
away from elements harried
styled and swiftly tailored Mother
Nature poised to strike
indiscriminately across Perkiomen
Valley (though this geographic area
rarely if ever experienced
extreme weather phenomenon),
yet occasionally bam wham
thank you ma'am solid punch
evidenced nevertheless no likelihood
divine intervention would intercede
to disrupt yearly the plan for RHD
to take lock, stock and barrel of
property at 2 Highland Manor Drive,
whereat many tenants experienced
high anxiety nervously awaiting
the verdict concerning apparent
violations which would necessitate
immediate actions incumbent upon
management company known as
Grosse and Quade subsequently
affecting spike in rent beyond
the pale of affordability after costs
of repair calculated into the mix
courtesy officials prowling around &
scrutinizing soundness of building,
once upon a time former elementary
school in borough named for George
Schwenk, born and died (1728 -1803)
respectively locally famous and noted
worthily essential man whose mettle
constituted being adept as tradesman,
crafting and repairing metal objects,
from household items & tools to
farm equipment & even weapons,
using a forge & anvil to shape heated
iron, thus recognized as an inimitable
blacksmith, whose son Jacob served
in the Revolutionary War under George
Washington, hence name Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania no longer an isolated
hamlet bleeds into adjacent communities
where said building I live chock a block
with vinyl city, where affordable housing
necessarily requires ordinances & property
inspectors de jure enforcing, mandating,
& yielding de rigueur to arbitrary (usually
yearly) scrutiny of about a half dozen
randomly chosen units within Highland
Manor Apartments to ascertain tenants
deemed and maintained their assigned
units in accordance with standards as
outlined in the lease, which severe
disinclination to abide by coda could
constitute legitimate violation & reason
to be forewarned than after given so
much time to shape up or ship out,
which crises nearly found ourselves
(yours truly & the misses) with no figurative
(and literal) roof over our heads, and
forced to ******* himself as rhetoric
the great or panhandle as local
historical buff displaying wares of "Lenni
Lenape," (which means "original people"
or "real people" in the Lenape language,
though said indigenous natives also known
as the Delaware, a name given by European)
particularly their kitchen middens whose
ghosts invariably haunt these regions grist,
for the mill of one story teller with overactive
imagination expounding on how one desperate
wordsmith wannabe or spouse sold their souls
to the devil, which action if successful would
which set in motion a vicious cycle necessitating
them to sell other parts of their body namely
major organs until they slowly but surely became
incorporeal beings able, eager, ready,
& willing to roam hither & yon, to and fro
across the webbed, wide world with few
if any obstacles in our way, whereat
nothing will thwart our collective endeavors
to sustain being linkedin to the air supply
eventually becoming absorbed into the ether
real medium encompassing the infinite
eternal cosmos, but interestingly enough
as the hours lapsed into late afternoon
especially when time approached
seventeen hundred hour myself & the spouse
dared the other to even whisper how
the fickle finger of fate showed a thumbs up
that no Mötley Crüe would appear
as the Iron Maiden de jure subjecting
ourselves on the receiving end of Poison,
thus dazed and confused as a Led Zeppelin
aimlessly spinning around like a whirling dervish,
who got stopped in his/her tracks to blink 182 times
plus me and the wife pinching ourselves &
the other to reckon eyes (usually subjected
to adversity since each of us got born) free
& clear of major catastrophe by a hair's breadth,
nevertheless feeling defeated living life struggling
with money woes & impossible mission for me
to eradicate indebtedness to this,
that or some other collection
agency no surprise ratcheting up frequency
when the purpose driven life ofttimes reaching
the tipping point where the grim reaper extended
a bony hand welcoming chemical romance videre licet
an accidental overdose of Fluoxetine elucidating
suicidal ideation as modus operandi to escape
(as a permanent solution)
the travails of penuriousness
still prevail at twenty two hundred hours
and never to late too send out an electronic sos for munificence.

After a hiatus of countless years
plus an additional
almost three months
since a major makeover,
(I experienced the magic
wrought courtesy
a bonafide big hearted
beautician at Salon Nova
located in beautiful
downtown Limerick, Pennsylvania

to render my straggly long hair
cut about twelve inches shorter),
whereby a mensch looked back at me,
a gorgeous reflection mirror reflection
yours truly returned to the mecca
Thomas Paine would feel right at home,
and surprisingly enough
a small number of attendees
at said name sake Unitarian Fellowship
nevertheless recognized me,

(and remembered my late mother
Harriet Harris,who passed away
twenty years ago come May 5th, 2025)
ushering yours truly courtesy older,
yet nevertheless familiar faces
while jesters tumbled and unrolled figurative
Scottish Tartan welcome mat
and provided a warm welcome.

As a small boy
parents of ours
(mine two siblings
included then and now,
an older and younger sister)
attended the Main Line Unitarian Church,
(a general hunch we regularly
made our appearance
at aforementioned site
during late 1960's early 1970's)
816 S Valley Forge Road, Devon, PA 19333,
when the then minister Mason McGinnis
facilitated the program.

Skads of decades,
née scores of years elapsed
since boyhood found me heading
(more accurately prodded),
thence shuttled to age appropriate classroom,
albeit informally structured learning environment.

Chronologically doddering oldest people
(such as fathers, mothers,
gray haired grandparents...)
plus young adults
bid their charges goodbye, albeit temporarily
as their younger kin got gently routed
to one out of quite numerous
ample size preschool/nursery room.

Infants, babies, young kids
i.e. most easily antsy, distracted, oblivious,
when days of our live young and restless
(unbeknownst to those recipients)
got their inchoate intellect sparked.

Their coerced, coddled (molly),
and coaxed... reluctance rewarded
(aside from with sweet treat)
courtesy lofty, mighty, nifty...
young rabbit ears raptly attuned
(most like a couple seconds maximum at most)
feigning listening at (iterated above)
Minister Mason McGinnis
who always gave rousing sermon.

If not him, perhaps a previously
scheduled guest speaker
enlightened, enhanced, enchanted... audience.

Nonetheless upon attaining mine prepubescence,
or thereabouts, (and most definitely
when yours truly crossed his horrendous,
perilous tumultuous wretched pubescent Rubicon
marking naturally ordained metamorphosis),
they abruptly ceased mandating
what both parents considered
(as well this middle aged son
recognized in retrospect –
cuz hindsight of mine always 20/20),
a golden opportunity to mingle,
and perhaps even (horrific as this reads)
befriend shy lads similar to yours truly.

I felt quite at home being attended, pacified,
pampered, and pulled up by bootstraps.

Without warning this baby boomer
invariably, suddenly felt shell shocked
and zapped courtesy post traumatic stress disorder
incurred while in utero.

Suddenly out of the blue,
paralyzing horror found this AARP eligible cardholder
aghast with fright as if scary
boogie woogie bugle boy monster mash
(with cooties) prowled premises on the lurch
to spring summat ploy.

Nightmarish visitations
while finding my religion
(crept along the edge of night
regarding dark shadows
from outer limits of twilight zone)
extolling virtues regarding return of native son
also witnessed me
being precariously hoisted,
and (analogous to dangling modifier)
suspended me in mid air by my own petard.

one helluva comparative
humdinger savvy shopper,
who can rattle off the best buy
for most any given item,
at the drop of a hat
analogous to baseball fanatic
(unlike myself who knows and cares
nothing about the game)
spewing forth Batting average (BA),
on-base percentage (OBP),
and slugging percentage (SLG)  
often referred to together
as a player's "slash line".

A fourth batting stat
known as on-base plus slugging (OPS),
which is a combination of OBP and SLG.

Other batting stats include runs batted in (RBI),
where a batter is credited with an RBI
when they score a run
as a result of their plate appearance.

Meanwhile back to the wife,
who would willingly truck
(courtesy driving our 2020 Sonata Elantra)
from one store or another
to purchase sought after item(s)
despite schlepping the extra miles,
and often scoops up goods
from clearance section,
and adheres to the postman's credo
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat
nor gloom of night stays these couriers
from the swift completion
of their appointed rounds"
often considered the motto
and inscribed in gray granite
above the entrance
to the New York City Post Office.

The phrase comes from
The Persian Wars by Herodotus,
written around 500 B.C.
during the wars between
the Greeks and Persians.

Herodotus referring to the Persian
mounted postal couriers,
who he observed with great admiration
and said were undeterred
by the elements
from completing their rounds.

The phrase was modified and approved
by the Post Office Department in 1914
by William Mitchell Kendall,
an architect at McKim, Mead & White,
the firm that designed
the New York General Post Office.

Kendall (the son of a classics scholar)
enjoyed reading Greek.

Every now and again, I accompany her,
after she tries in vain
to coax and wheedle yours truly
(with threats she won't
buy me any favorite drinks -
such as Kombucha),
nevertheless but frequently remain
holed up in our one bedroom apartment
disinclined to subject myself,

(a socially anxious aging baby boomer,
and lapsed long hair pencil neck geek to boot)
to the cruel embarrassment and harassment
linkedin with Samson syndrome
characterized courtesy lovely long golden locks,
(and rivaling the storied Rapunzel)
despite the small investment in shampoo
bully me prime target for mean people
who offer their unsolicited feedback

Matter of fact, she went out
earlier this saturday morning
(enjoying spate of cool temperature
for August seventeenth
and accompanied by light rain
courtesy hurricane ernesto
to unload bags of recyclables
jammed into the trunk
giving the television show
characters Sanford and Son
(a 1972 break out hit),
a run for their money.

Whether arsonist at fault
or confluence of ripe conditions
triggering perfect firestorm,
the titan of fire beside himself with misery,
though no fault of his own
the raging bullish conflagration
a taste of inescapable hell
synonymous with the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where mercurial Venusians
ply their devil may care attitude
with pitchforks stabbing the sheltering sky
mortifying for those residents
(even firm believers
in a loving divine presence),
especially those individuals
now living asocial in the ruins
amidst (in oh my gosh) once posh
Los Angeles neighborhoods!

Though a skeptic at heart,
I cannot help but wonder
“What Hath God Wrought
which text first, original phrase
that Samuel Morse typed
in his newly invented
single-wire telegraph in the 1930.

Faith no more
does severely test
(and strain the limits of credulity)
regarding doubting Thomas paradigm
positing the question
(for those who do believe)
why whims oven omniscient deity,
would unleash unrelenting punishment
poorly justifying the pithy remark
Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God
purportedly flourish aplenty
within the human league,
particularly where ultra rich banded together
and (possibly because of
obeisance to their wealth)
therefore fixation to acquire
trappings of splendour
must be forced to atone
for their collective miscreants
and become like the indigent
no matter that wealth justifiably earned
saith those now rendered destitute,
and reduced to panhandle.

Fat or slim chance,
but just maybe more attention will be paid
to those accursed with a lifetime
of misery and hardship,
thru no fault of their own.

Impossible mission to create Utopia
if only because each person endowed
with inherent abilities and/or being gifted
housing latent advantageous qualities
of body, mind, or spirit,
(whether identified at an early age,
or discovered visa vis later in life)
allowing, enabling, and providing them
better yet, perhaps hypothetical person
born that way as a polymath
(or a poker face, yet get smart to play dumb),
but nevertheless exploit innate
mental, physical or spiritual endowments
with honest to goodness
sweat of brow modus operandi
to experience successfully
(what envious others may chide
as them living the life of Riley)
comfortably numb judged
as free and clear lifestyle against deprivations
with difficulty, yet without deliberateness
flaunting obvious plentitude,
perhaps erring by hosting gala events
paying deference towards billionaires
all the while downplaying
amassing trophies of capitalism
but never missing a beat
to accentuate compulsion
toward keeping up with the Joneses
for all the webbed wide world to see
oozing pretentiousness grafted
upon struggling origin
as humble and poor member
of bourgeoisie economic strata.

Impossible mission for full fledged capitulation
of monied class subsequently as faux proletariat,
would be laughable drama
considering those capital assets
went up in smoke
(understandable and definitely hard hit
would be victims
without homeowners insurance),
and lacking that secret stash of money
hidden under a mattress
or deep underground
beneath generations old palm tree
but the luckier ones could access
offshore accounts no doubt
bulging with available super duper funds.

Upon glancing at the headlines
I espied an unusual communiqué
crediting Poseidon with helping ease
the lack of adequate water
substantiated by Department of Water and Power
acknowledged that Pacific
Palisades reservoir offline
closed for structural repairs,
plus confirmation that by 3 a.m.
Wednesday January 9th, 2025 (of course)
all three tanks, (which hold
one million gallons each) went dry.

Out of the blue
and into the black of darkened skies
courtesy explosion from incendiary material
an immense humongous cloud
saturated a bajillion percent with moisture
(spanning across the entire horizon
from all points of the compass
north, south, east, and west)
Poseidon came forth to the rescue
not quite in the nick of time,
nevertheless a heavy downpour,
(a record amount of rain deluged the area)
larger than the size of Rhode Island
immediately pooling into waist
then tens of feet of high water
within minutes, where
analogous to a Biblical flood,
thus you can bet your bottom dollar
aforementioned statement
originated from a reliable source.

Matthew Scott Harris
could not contacted for further questioning
hence sometimes we need
to believe in a higher power!

and finally gung-** with a poem title
important to yours truly
not disappointing his Facebook fan base,
which electronic affirmation,
and confirmation, breeds gratification
analogous to being
the proud papa begetting offspring
progeny growing up at breakneck speed
spurring me to rub my eyes
as if experiencing hallucination,
and thanks be to thee unknown readers,
whose familiar and recognizable namesakes
fuel an impetus to slave away
past the bewitching hour.

A cup of first press high test Joe
(courtesy the missus)
this late hour crucial and vital
to trigger genesis of writing idea
though nary a handy dandy blues clue
what the following endeavor will entail,
whereby thought processes
whipsawed across a gamut
of enigmatic basic questions
most likely similar queries pondered
when proto humans
first learned or evolved
to stand *****,
where genitalia subsequently visible
in plain sight front and center,
and most likely the males
who sported the biggest schmeckle
(id est - gifted with endowment
where ******* ***** concerned)
inadvertently, impeccably, and invariably
wowed an equally
well proportioned barenaked lady,
thus setting into motion Barbie craze physique,
which became commercialized,
idolized, popularized, et cetera
March ninth, nineteen fifty nine
millions of countless generations before
yours or mine Bubbeh's
Zayde's, Bubbeh's Zayde's,
Bubbeh's Zayde's et cetera
until the beginning of time.
I would not have been bestowed
(but rather disadvantaged)
with any redeeming physical advantages,
what with my gangly, measly,
and scrawny body and probably
screaming ****** ******
left to die lest drawing enemies woke
fee fie foe fum... in bespoke guttural
(necessitating traditional healer
*** doula *** witch doctor
to toss out baby with the bathwater
autochthonous eventually
giving rise to naturopathic doctor (ND),
as they practiced a system of medicine
that incorporated natural therapies
and holistic measures
ofttimes deemed cruel approaches,
by standards of twenty first century
often distinct from conventional Western medicine
and quickly dispensed
with "good riddance to that cry baby"
then lionized by salivating king of the jungle,
when yours truly just days old as a newborn,
but bully me that would have saved
a lifetime of trauma courtesy
those foo fighting beastie boys
who trumpeted characteristics
topped off with natural carrot top
donned windblown handy dandy raked pompadour
which heady hirsute provided extra bonus
added insouciant aura at the onset of drama
bequeathed most robust
short, nasty and brutish **** sapiens,
(who would still be considered pygmies
among land of the giants
(even yours truly feels dwarfed)
by standard of modern man/woman
stood head and shoulders
among the madding crowd)
as no specimen to tangle
cuz they were counted, gifted, and linkedin
among those who met,
(and checked off survival of the fittest box)
bolstering triumph amidst adversity
criteria inheriting salient qualities
namely who at birth evinced potential
to become a Sumo wrestler,
who when population density
increased implemented deportation
way before MAGA onset
towards those (though necessary
for grunt work) evinced
stark ape parent
visible primate characteristics
substantiating Darwinian theory of evolution
in tandem with origin of species
predicated new species
come from preexisting species,
and that all species share a common ancestor.

The easy to handle
sticky sided material
made of a variety of materials, including
cellulose acetate, polypropylene,
PVC, and adhesive
(alluded to in the title)
applied in an innovative manner
allowing, enabling, and providing me
the means and ways to affix paper bags
artfully, carefully, and gingerly
paper folded over school books,
which requisite book covers
(Trader Joe's bags supremely sturdy)
lasted the entire school year,
and offered an opportunity
to flaunt my creativity
without marring the school property
subsequently said weathered book covered,
id est paper plastered with scotch tape
offering a clear smooth sheen,
albeit fantastically, easily and courtesy
itty bitty teensy weensy serrated edge
used to cut off cleanly
in a very precise manner
over every square inch
of dad who bagged agilely
Methacton School reading material,
which left the book like new
(actually removing said cover
analogous to solving a Chinese puzzle)
subsequently at close of term
and eighth year of being educated
after getting promoted to the next grade
got sold at electronic auction
to the highest bidder –
powder milk biscuits free),
for a decent price,
which amazingly enough
intact wrapping materials
once removed with surgical precision
to maintain integrity of specially crafted
Matthew Scott Harris quality binding
grace the halls
of many famous art institutes,
(and many walls of nouveau riche
and worth - in my nonbiased
humble estimation) a mint,
when sold off eBay giving me near
instantaneously fame and fortune
to quit the rigors
of an honors based academic curriculum,
and reap laurels publishing and selling
my book with the grateful assistance
particularly when - yours truly
as one of the topnotch students
in Mister Bergey's math class,
(slated to graduate June 19__,
but on account
of stupendous entrepreneurial talent,
and nonpareil literary composition
in tandem with making
heavy duty sturdy book covers,
which humdrum assignment
delivered overnight fame and fortune,
the unheard of acclaim
gave me a ticket to ride
to the head of the class
after phenomenal success
affixing said book covers)
after beloved popular educationist
assigned each kid
why he/she needed
to cover Algebra book
extra credit Brownie/
Cub scout points given
for endeavor presented
on optional writing endeavor
penning a convincing essay
about why such action
ought to be undertaken,
not only the obvious reason
to ensure protection
against the elements at large
that could wreak havoc
and render ruinous
said book next to useless
thus after some brainstorming
this then precocious
paperback writer wannabe
(essentially fool on the hill)
You Do The Calculus;
A Radical Exponent
With Number Of Factors
To Cover Textbook
dreamt up the aforementioned drab title
videre licet crafty appellation  
all the while enveloping, kneading,
and sporting mine smug mug
(of yours truly - the author holding pet pug)
an absolutely glorious amazing
example of his creation
recyclable with minor alterations
for generations of vipers.

where sorely needed precipitation
necessitates affected population
to perform a collective rain dance
(decked out in electronically smart frippery)
24/7 and 7/52 weeks a year
defies even the most adept meteorologists
(equipped with special magical powers)
to deliver nothing short of a biblical deluge
makes them (the weather forecasters)
appear as motley fools,
when mother nature

presents herself insync
(and well deserved
to be crookedly pilloried)
with handy dandy
blue skies as an affront
even garnering wrath
of Kong and sons of Kanute,
but more horrifically
evincing absolute zero happenstance
to release bucketfuls
of sought after requisite

moisture from the sheltering sky
prodding conspiracists
to put earth in the balance
with the uncomfortable truth
to beg the military intelligence
to draft schematics
to ***** at least one humongous lance
fired away with a half sashay
subsequently poking holes
in the cloudsource,
or as an extreme measure

firing nuclear missiles
high in the atmosphere perchance
hitting hard and knocking
sense and sensibility
in the mindscape of the gods
and goddesses of rain,
(needed to mill whole wheat flour,
raised in the rich bottomlands
of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers,
and are often described

being "pure, mostly"
and "good for you"
due to their whole wheat composition)
or more accurately affecting,
(albeit rendering, and delineating)
countless names representing
aforementioned invisible supernatural beings
(considered inviolable and sacred
and worthy of worship)
into dental sent trance.

In an effort to expound
upon intent to brainstorm
regarding an outrageous modus operandi
to quell the dearth for rain
or synonyms of said word
encompassing Earth, a planet third
nearest from the sun
I, a long in the tooth
and formerly indentured servant

also notate that
temperatures considerably warm
for November, October and September
rounding out two thousand and twenty four,
where climate change
(read warming) in full swing
(your partner round and round),
though mild temperatures
diminish heating expense,
(in conjunction with LIHEAP,

I qualify for PECO's CAP Rate program,
a discounted rate
for residential electric
and gas customers with low incomes),
thus far HVAC unit never turned on
only the LASKO
portable tower heater model 5144
accessed to take out the chill
in our one bedroom apartment
here at Highland Manor.

Initially written March 18th, 2023
and revised exactly two years later
tweaking the poem here and there
courtesy adding or subtracting Nabisco  
National Biscuit Company (1898-1971) tidbits
in case a random reader
possesses a photographic memory
recollecting word for word
my literary endeavor
when he/she once again visits
this titled epistle.

The following binary raw bits
hither and yon to and fro flits
across eyes of unknown reader
handsomely buzzfeeding
dining viz fancy feast
donning while trumpeting
microscopic mitts.

Though yours truly
a zany, wimpy, tiny, and puny
(smaller than a breadbox)
modest nonestablishmentarian Ogre,
whereat my portable minuscule
fingerhut size adobe abode
exposed to Strunk and White raw
grammatical elements of style,
I counted Flip (Wilsonian) view,
to camouflage myself anytime
and anywhere as significant advantage.

The obvious downside
(i.e. severe limitations to pull off
major coup) forced me to axe
paunches pilot while taking a chopper
named Cheeses Crust
if I van nah miniaturize daring deed
(done dirt cheap) hashtagged,  reconfigured,
and powered by AC/DC,
which refers to Alternating Current (AC)
and Direct Current (DC)  ,
retouched, recorded by Das scribe
named Magnum Opus.

Indeed, this chance to go long (equivalent
of Olympic gold) foretold godaddy peering
into granule size barren crystal ball.

Preliminary steps undertaken
to pull off impossible mission;
mo' difficult than a blind man
taking eighty steps to Jonah
infiltrating 70+ shades of gray area
prime Donald Trump real estate.

A priority prevailed to act on
the QT (q-tip) lest cover get blown,
and suspicious communique encrypted
to hire globe trotting henchmen.

Urgency spurred daring deed,
cuz targeted subject in question
majority population counted
as debouched, delirious, and
demonstrably dangerous
demagogue, in short a "FAKE"
forty fifth and forty seventh president!

Security details
(like stray cats on the prowl),
could sniff out ploy to re
program depraved, deranged,
and detached supposed Master
at helm, you Jesse and wait.

His audacity, effrontery,
and isolationist iffy
Oscar the grouch ideology
placed him squarely as half baked
cookie monstrosity against
former United States Commander in Chief.

First order of business necessitated
tranquilizing this doughty, haughty
enemy of the Lumpenproletariat!

Renown chemist friends of mine
(actually Civil War tin
effervescent bubble buddies)
alias Diet Coke and/or Diet Pepsi
secured an ampule Taj Mahal
~ circa 1631 vintage.

One ampule viz pill
could knock out a giant –
sans, Jack and the beanstalk fame.

No ifs, and or bots, the secret
got pulled off without spilling
figurative (jelly) beans.

Once inside auditory labyrinth,
I immediately noticed striking
deus ex machina ***** rioting
resemblance to microscopic cave.

Now follows non sequitur
with rhyme nor reason.

A thick baad a$$ sieve sludge
(vaguely resembling cerumen in consistency)
re: gooey pseudo pulpy secreted material
suctioned courtesy resultant ****** mess
in a near futile attempt
to separate Siamese sistahs
said substance issuing forth
after surgeons meticulous incisions
qualify as unsung heroes
as does illogical senseless segue way
into riff about
Def Leppard amputee drummer
Rick Allen brutally attacked
by human rabid beastie boy
posed an initial dilemma,
which audioslave solution
entailed collaboration to build
a toothpick fence.

Pensiveness unexpectedly found
unwitting subject trying
to comprehend gibberish
attempting to pass muster
as supreme poetic literature
said unsuspecting reader
reflexively scratching, poking,
and jabbing inadvertently
gesticulating at mine doppelgänger
finding him listening
for subsequent instructions
from ground zero.

initially crafted June twenty fifth
two thousand twenty four
affecting me to utter "oy a broch"
(pronounced ah-BROOKH)
before I cast accursed blatant spells
outright upon the head of mountebank,
whose shrewd and cunning deception
bled me dry as a sun bleached bone,
whereby self denigration and imploration
regarding immediate obliteration
of "nest egg" found me hurling vituperation
against the scoundrel,
whose art of the ruse playbook
scored psychological hit
pitching finances into dire straits
upon writer of these words,
whose monetary situation
never recovered from falling prey
hook, line and sinker,
nor taking pause to question
blindly abiding to the gentle
verbal faux ministrations
courtesy stealth employed
to ****** away meager wealth.

Existential nihilism rent psyche asunder
courtesy unforeseen deadly bombs
lobbed by computer hacker and scammer
rolled into one nasty,
short and brutish lout,
whereby his aggrieved targeted victim,
whereby the perpetrator
experienced absolutely zero qualms
gingerly blindsiding me
analogous to jilted lovers
subjected to figurative
blackened barbs à la rom·coms.

Though common horse sense
I generally applaud
within these lovely bones
an undersize fellow whose forehead broad
methinks perchance twenty first century
can witness remake of Exosquad
linkedin with mental, physical,
and spiritual fiasco fraud
no doubt grist for the cinematic mill
made for movie of the week,
where prominent product placement
of once iconic iPod,
but illustrious position
in Apple's product lineup
came to an end.

Apple finally killed the “iPod” brand,
just over twenty years
since original introduction in 2001
creating perfectly fitting
pièce de résistance jigsawed
replaced by smartphones,
such as the iPhone,
which can both store music
and access music streaming services
such as Spotify and Apple Music.

Nevertheless, and despite efforts
to exorcise mailer daemons
rage against the machine
that doth mauraud,
while a tempest blows
furious in my mind as well outside,
thus I gladly nod
acknowledgement toward Mother Nature
for natural timely spatial effects
bending boughs analogous to quad
of cheerleaders executing tricks
while accompanying color guards
exhibit purposeful antics done roughshod
for the benefit of mister Kite.

Distraction writing reasonable rhyme
temporarily offsets carbon footprint
to stomp furiously on account of cyber crime
wracking noggin how I could be lame
easily being conned, dogged,
goaded, hectored, kick/jump started, ...
now yours truly haint gotta dime
to his name, attributed to fool hardiness
poached, fried, embezzled...
oh that human slime
letting him manipulate me
as if he pointed gun -
which spelled "BANG"
when fired, now triggers
approximately twenty one months later
profound unnecessary anguish.

finds me (a doggone muttering **** sapien)
to give pause for reminiscences
and to take stock (sh lock and barrel)
about mein kampf in general
and previous three hundred
and sixty five days in particular
assessing some laudable accomplishments,
where inside my mind I beam radiance
envisioning an imaginary hit parade
supporting my local mummers
and married poppers
trumpeting like Dumbo the elephant,
yours truly decked out
donning red zoot suit
proud heterosexual with pride
to sport gay apparel,
and support LGBTQIA community
peering across the madding crowd
courtesy third eye blind
sauntering toward then ascending soapbox
where I smugly wax poetic and proud
fulminating, expatiating, and contending
accursed series of unfortunate events
populating lifetime since conception
until death do me part
apprising rapt listeners
about arbitrarily, catastrophically,
and unhealthily imposed behavioral restraints
accumulated over the span of sixty six orbits
around black hole sun
experiencing total eclipse of the heart
when a mollycoddled lad and youth
analogous to lapsing
into nostalgic obliviousness
impervious towards disabling behavior
disallowing, disapproving, and dissociating
natural human biological processes
obvious to casual observer,
who possibly misinterpreted
extreme introvertedness
limiting normal opportunities
to manifest destiny of emotional,
physical and spiritual fulfillment,
(a demeanor more closely associated
with celibate monk,
who took a vow of chaste silence)
allowing, enabling and providing
peers and brethren,
who drank from the same cistern
to make mockery and scapegoat me,
though perhaps ye react with surprise
that as a capricorn,
under the auspices of sea goat
yours truly purportedly gifted with skills
at navigating both
the material and emotional realms
with peachy keen aplomb.

But lo... (dearest priceless unknown reader),
how self delusion generated
mine holier than thou air
clear as day pretense
smugness hiding tight form fitting mask,
nevertheless crude autocratic, idiosyncratic,
theocratic gnostic mien
plainly shone thru invisible armor
to reveal nothing but a
selfish nasty short brute
unsuccessfully pitted karma
against unnatural dogmatic
fraying and braying restraint,
where pantheistic fealty
(rides roughshod like a bucking bronco
over revered scripture)
stamping and chomping
at the raw bits of sacred truths
nipping in the bud
and culling all opportunities
futile to out match my hubris
courtesy kindled tinder narcissism.

Tis vain for thee
to extend arms with plaintive supplication,
nor purposeful to beseech Spiritus Mundi
eternally housing benevolent
bards of yesteryear
such Fireside Poets
as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
John Greenleaf Whittier,
James Russell Lowell,
William Cullen Bryant,
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr,
and Ralph Waldo Emerson
even during their
being alive as cause célèbre
even generations after their lifetimes
still worth their weight in gold.

Believe me you
not even one lapsed tatterdemalion
(interestingly enough,
the writer of these words,
who took a page from playbook
videre licet life of Riley
before being not ready
for prime time player),
whose doppelganger constitutes
dolled up guise of
former lone haired pencil necked geek
seeks constant adulation, congratulation
(even if fabrication)
to experience exaltation
and strongly inclined
to cue pre-recorded applause
if audience or anonymous reader
intimates a shadow of a doubt
yours truly can vouchsafe
he donned role of lout,
nevertheless even as a teetotaler,
cannot attribute any lame excuse,
where dependence on vintage ale or stout
nor other consciousness expanding material
served as figurative crutch
to act boisterous and tout
hardy laurels,
thus retrospective accomplishments
linkedin to courage I did muster
after consuming ample
powder milk sea biscuits – ha!

Jest horsing around
attempting to round out page three
of a poem idea that initially arose
taking mental retrospective
incorporating the year
two thousand and twenty four in review
but a dearth of accomplishments
found me to embellish
and elaborate whatever whims
came to mind
(an audioslave to talking heads)
even if the pith and marrow
of these lovely bones
a figment of my well pruned
overactive imagination.

Post mortem courtesy
Doctor Demento yielded
Lady Liberty lies slain...
videre licet knocked senseless
from brutal blows upon her crown
simultaneously shouldering existential crisis
triggered nervous breakdown
though rendered mute
sound of silence doth expound.

Forsooth impeachment hearings
rendered him immune
to chastisement, insurrection
he did foment, blithely
skirting impairment appertain
blood on hands of
self important president,
though alcohol he doth abstain,
nonetheless permanent drunken stupor
doth wax and wain

finger of guilt
damaging democracy points
to him as chief villain
groomed since... time immemorial
atavistic primate brain
bathed (courtesy Frederick Christ Trump)
buzzfeeding chosen favored heir
go for broke – as a red badge of courage
bankrupt countless times
and pulled out all stops,

viz unbridled thundering,
espousing philosophy gain
amass wealth, unscrupulous
if necessary where,
might equals right cold play'n
deadly serious game (Life) train
sight squarely and/or roundly
scattered lovely bones
amidst tombstones testimony
incidental secondary fallout main

part and parcel, where legerdemain,
plus art of the deal linkedin
with immeasurable gloating
ego necessary to gain
con fetter writ oligarchy plain
successfully cheating, hocking,
milking, quaffing, and trending,
yielding dynastic rule
trumpeting eternal and carnal
stormy Daniels reign

vaping with wealthy
zealotry (think vain)
at electorate expense
tampering koolaid acid test
courtesy illegals sown GMO grain
colluding when/where possible,
never losing sight regarding
selfish mission to attain
obligatory ideal tyranny
rampantly running roughshod,

no need to explain
writing sleight underhanded profane
antithetical, critical, heretical quatrain
badgering, belittling, besmirching,
bilking, boasting, bragging with disdain
flagrantly flaunting, fleecing,
regarding purported B.S. degree
in economics he did attain
matriculating Wharton School of law,
hmm... methinks he paid

hireling from Ukraine
forever flirting, flouting, and flunking
even basic geography questions
case in point being
where is Drury Lane
additionally, he ain't
no literati familiar
storied quasi fiction Citizen Kane.

Not a crock of... but bull heave me,
you heard (read) right here from me
the horse's mouth,
who never neigh says,
cuz Trump (unexpectedly)
nixed presidential ambitions...
to pursue lifelong
management job at McDonald's,
nevertheless rival Burger King
courtesy a turncoat,
who cozied up
to Escherichia coli electronic bug
hidden in dem  Golden Arches
got inside scoop and
offered an undisclosed
jaw dropping dollar figure.

Though hands down fifty four his win
(already promising betting odds
find serious loot to bookies
guaranteed a near certainty
to nab the ⁦Tuesday,
November 5, 2024⁩
presidential nomination, he rather
nonchalantly and not surprisingly
gave up acquiring
keys to White House,

and code to nuclear weapons
when just a small number of days,
indubitably, gratefully, electorate casts
their collective vote
to usher the Trump *****
reign of a thousand years
banking MAGA landslide victory
to implement by force if necessary
The Project 2025 Republican revolution
ushering Biblical imperative

for women of childbearing
years to be fruitful and multiply
in a barenaked lady three doors down
effort to stave off
diminution of precious, officious,
miraculous, glorious offspring
NOT brought forth in this nation
as adumbrated, dictated, and hosted
by the Communist Manifesto,
whereat the very word proletariat

(/ˌproʊlɪˈtɛəriət/; from Latin root
proletarius 'producing offspring')
represents the social class of
wage-earners, those members
of a society whose
possession of significant
economic value linkedin
to their labour power capacity
to work at begetting
offspring imperative to stem

the tide and staunch the
flow by coldplay fiat if necessary,
(hence clamp down
on abortion/ reproductive rights
seeding start up reproductive companies
to subsidize fecund females
with fertilizing seeds of life
and white lily (meaning White
Anglo Saxon Protestant credo
stands supreme – think Heil commander)

reviving, jump/ kickstarting,
and rebooting the most controversial issue
surrounding universalistic,  
narcissistic, and genetic
breeding in humans
namely "eugenics," which refers
to the practice of attempting
to improve the genetic quality
of a population
by selectively breeding individuals

considered to have desirable traits,
often with the aim of eliminating
undesirable weaknesses, traits, quirks...
raising significant ethical concerns
about who decides
what traits considered "desirable"
and the potential for discrimination
and abuse of power.

visa a vis militaristic plan
a boot 15-20 million people -
undocumented hard working Americans
(maybe some living here legally) forcibly,
and violently shipped out,
when victoriously, surreptitiously,
and purportedly illegally entering
our ports of the world wide web.

Though born, bred, and raised here
in the U S of A (The 'short a' /æ/),
I feel aghast how the
de facto dictator wannabe
shakes a fist and forbids those people
clamoring to become bonafide citizens
(and generally escaping mayhem
in their respective country of origin)
entering one supposed, enchanted,
and blessed land of life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness,
to become punishingly ousted
should other than Kamala Harris
and Tim Walz acquire
the presidential/vice presidential
vote of confidence.

No secret the Don will abrogate,
his strict ban barring
employees to acclimate
themselves, to live within United States
legal tender, and accommodate
themselves comfortably anonymous,
though "NOT FAKE," but accurate
reliable, trustworthy, et cetera
resources who did activate

my awareness, his hired hands
never received adequate
pay if any,
(perhaps greater than minimum wage),
despite the fact he
does vehemently administrate,
adulterate presidential decrees, and thus
passively advocate, those supposed:
intruders, marauders, and pillagers

(rapists thrown in for good measure),
thus being party to affiliate
with contrary doctrine makes
him more than a flagrant hypocrite
since such migrant fiasco does aggravate
me as well as innocent lives that aggregate
within a country, whose motto
rather than alienate
purportedly offered sanctuary:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses
yearning to breathe free,
the wretched refuse
of your teeming shore."

No excessive effort needed to insulate,
expedite and ameliorate
the woeful plight of ordinary peoples,
whose culture club, those very
governments aim to annihilate
driving a figurative wedge (gee),
I decided to annunciate
(a spurious whim),
and suspensefully anticipate
if affection toward
asylum seekers will arise

decrying duplicitous action (exhibited by
Janus faced courtesy former commander in chief),
undoubtedly other citizens do not appreciate
(minus the bajillion dollars purposelessly
allocated to ***** a skyhigh wall,
when more humanely appropriate
measures beg attention at
less expense I aver and approximate
and avoid unfairly
incriminating, but to arbitrate
(with some degree of justice) pitted

toward migrants flagrant
human rights violation,
those in power arrogate,
and wield for the luxury,
exploitation and convenience
of those wealth mongers,
who fail to articulate,
how when families
get forcibly rent asunder
fallout does asphyxiate
the human species
far from madding crowd
in toto including
Dorothy, Cowardly Lion,
Tin Woodman and Strawman.

“The patience of Job” applied as an idiom that means to have great patience or endurance in the face of suffering. It's used to describe someone who perseveres through many problems or hardships.

(or be an uncommon Joe)...
to bide their - meaning her/his time
(while listening to muzak) before talking
with Verizon Fios representative,
who usually profusely thanks
the long time customer for diligently holding out
to discuss any pressing issue(s) at hand.

All that fretting and fussing takes a toll
and disallows one from attaining zen
a state of blessed blissfulness when
considerably unlike figurative
swirling chaos cue Tiananmen
Square when 1989 protests
wrought strong arm of the law to quicken
suppression courtesy the Chinese military
decimated, interrogated, oppressed and vetted
obliterated nascent twittering,
and flickering freedom of expression
student-led demonstrations linkedin
with other brethren and sistren
courtesy qua relationship each as netizen,
with the others until government
stepped in asserted authoritarianism
Über alles might means right.

Any resemblance between the above citation
and living persons purely coincidental,
cuz yours truly (me) cannot remain silent,
but must (be as innocuous as a scare) crow
(as if he got forced
to chomp on the figurative bit),
and admit without further delay
said above iterated Biblical apothegm
more challenging than threading
a needle thru the eye of a camel.

As a little boy buzzfeeding his curiosity
sitting hours sprawled on the grass,
and other instances in later years,
when just a skinny lad,
he honed the ability to wait
for however long the waiting took,
the exception being when my mother
predictably late picking me up
after school if I missed getting on the school bus.

The wait well worth finally speaking
with a Verizon Fios
(Fiber Optic Service) representative,
(who terminated television service
with yours truly to lower his monthly bill),
and while on a protracted waiting stance,
I busied myself in the interim,
whiling away the time
playing online Solitaire:
(I won another virtual trophy
without cheating of course),
and answered Facebook friend requests,
while also checking for responses,
and subsequently texting totally tubular
men and women who sent me a message
ofttimes in reaction to a poem I posted,
and although no tangible
(read tactile) interaction occurs,
a more profound mental arousal
begets enticing hypothalamus, thalamus,
amygdala, and frontal lobes
ushering ******* intellectual glorification
analogous with peak crisis as described below
regarding a breakout novel by D.H. Lawrence
in Lady Chatterley's Lover.

Nowadays aforementioned then
ground breaking scandalous publication
tells the story of a wealthy,
upper-class woman,
Lady Constance Chatterley,
who felt trapped in a loveless marriage
with a paralyzed husband
and finds passionate love
with the working-class gamekeeper
on her estate, Oliver Mellors,
highlighting the themes of class differences
and the importance of physical intimacy
and emotional fulfillment in a relationship;
the book is considered controversial
due to explicit depiction of ***
and the social taboo of the affair.

"Lady Chatterley's Lover"
caused a major stir
due to its explicit descriptions of ***,
particularly female ****** pleasure,
combined with the controversial portrayal
of a passionate affair
between an upper-class woman
and a working-class man, which
considered shocking and taboo for the time,
leading to widespread censorship
and bans across many countries
when it first published.

analogous to hatches being
battened down
courtesy COVID-19 12+
(Pfizer only) and Flu Vaccine (65+)
October 31, 2024,
which found me convalescing
one day later with minor aches and pains
remedied with acetaminophen.

More than 1 million people died
from COVID-19 in the US
since the virus first emerged
in Wuhan, China
in December 2019.

On March 11, 2020,
the World Health Organization
characterized the outbreak as a pandemic.

Now approaching the fourth year anniversary,
the availability of effective inoculations
offers blessed intervention
to mitigate serious complications.

I (unlike the missus)
no longer don a mask,
nevertheless wash hands frequently
as a reasonable precaution
to maintain health of body,
mind and spirit triage.

While stayin' alive at sixty five,
(people passing me right and left
along the boulevard of broken dreams)
I try to be proactive
toward mental, physical,
and spiritual wellness,
whether spending leisure hours
engaged with efforts that exercise
the, body, mind, and spirit triage
abstaining from watching television
versus reading one among
a small number of magazines
or becoming engrossed
courtesy well written book.

I also try my hand
crafting a poem
linkedin to some significance
regarding particular present date
shown by the calendar
usually an event that impacted
and affected me to become
calm, cool, and collected or irate
for better or worse
my mental, physical, or spiritual state.

When emotionally, physically,
or spiritually unwell,
when nada one iota of bliss prevails
toward favorite activity
such as: kickstarting
hairbrain scheme to get rich quick
painting the town red,
underwater basket weaving
(or other idioms pejoratively used
to describe college courses
considered to be useless or absurd.

I tout resting
and becoming comfortably numb
(while listening to white noise
issuing from a fan or heater,
which whirring or humming sound
frequently nudges me
into deep sleep with nary a hitch)
if general malaise pervades
thru these lovely bones,
which actually scream out for exertion
(and no excuse exists
since getting a smart haircut

going on a couple months already,
and making cleanliness
next to the closest approximation
an atheist can attain of godliness)
cuz I knew my slovenly appearance
(a passive aggressive
silent rebel yell
against the establishment -
mainly the liberal strictures
of my father and mother)
would be a deterrent
within a social situation.

Vision care regarding myself,
spouse and daughters...
(before they flew the coop
affecting momma and papa bird
with empty nest syndrome)
wholeheartedly entrusted to
five star optometrist Paul Halpern.

With more than four decades
dedicated and invested
with ocular familiarity,
I salute you with a yen to be civil.

Eye eye Captain Paul Halpern
(attended The Pennsylvania State University
and The Pennsylvania College of Optometry,
now Salus University,
and earned B.S. and O.D. Degrees).

There are two types of eye drops used to test for glaucoma:
Numbing drops
A yellow drop that numbs the eye and measures intraocular pressure.
This procedure is called tonometry or applanation.

Dilating drops
Used to widen the pupils so that the doctor can examine the optic nerve.
Tropicamide is a common dilating drop.

While head tilted back
gingerly applied drops
in eyes that did burn
during my sixth fifth year alive
cataracts in both eyes he did discern.

No matter parking
(regarding even numbered buildings)
on Haws Avenue in Norristown
angled because to allow
for more efficient use of street space
purportedly cars can pull in and out
of parking spots
without making sharp turns
minimizing the risk of accidents
and maximizing the number

of vehicles that can park on the street,
nevertheless I bemoan being shuttled
(courtesy the missus,
who serves as temporary chauffeur de jure
until yours truly acquires glasses
suited and fitted to nearsightedness
linkedin to a refractive error
that makes far-away objects look blurry
shortsightedness of mine 20/200
without corrective bifocals

thankfully myopia markedly diminished,
(albeit improved to 20/20
wearing frames post cataract surgery,
which noteworthy Kremer Center
located in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
the go to facility
where consultation took place
found me assigned
to ophthalmologist Aaron Cohen, MD
in practice since 1994,

whom I met,
and immediately felt reassured
routine outpatient surgery
took place without a hitch,
though the only qualm
concerns sizable co-payment
not covered by Aetna Medicare Advantra,
yet I tout insurance with brief pitch
and thus no intent to switch
dental, medical and ocular care.

Absolute zero escape
velocity gutted dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance
with light as a feather
physique I sorely miss lost acquaintance
the boy within forced admittance
as sure man tanks of fat did advance
shotgun marriage demanded allegiance
to pledge lifetime alliance
no room for allowance
crushing lightness of being ambiance,
analogous to earth in the balance,
an uncomfortable truth
stares back at me
while looking in the mirror
a taunting reflection sneers
(strongly resembling the Grinch
who stole Christmas),
nor exist allies
(such as little Cindy Lou Who,
or any other member of the Wu-Tang Clan)
to help me combat
battle fatigue require
ring superman endurance
to muster strength
to stand ***** else ambulance
(much to the EMTs annoyance)
will whisk away husky
embarrassing appearance
loose fitting clothing
jelly roll appurtenance
overnight digital readout,
asper body mass index
scaled quick ascendance,
thus when showering,
I look askance
fearing bulging balloon
will necessitate assistance
else... diet of worms
as only assurance
safeguarding body electric
against hecklers at open casket
no matter, a small populace
madding crowd in attendance
yea... eventual cremation
after life only fat chance
to alleviate present circumstance
heavy matter fails security clearance
the price for astute cognizance
weak willpower alighting countenance
esse pie ying sweet treats
now measures taken to counterbalance
to fight temptation and dalliance
overruling feasting craving delectation
to restore trim deliverance
love handles around equator
no magician can render disappearance
yes the discontinuance
of just dessert must maintain distance
without being weighed
down with disturbance
by heaviest haunch
ain't no elegance
lugging extra encumbrance
when throughout my early life,
skinny, yet able to steel glance
mirrored reflection now grievance,
where wistful memory
ha...ironic insouciance
more so than
today finds intolerance,
thus woebegone issuance
thorn in muss hide
to experience jubilance
hmm...maybe a strong
arm can lance
excess flab quite a nuisance
to defy gravity, why penance
sans unsightly paunch
yours truly laments when just a skinny lad
epidermis fit skin tight, thus petulance
lame excuse unwanted protuberance
necessitates dedicated pursuance
recollection of washboard
abdomen impossible, yes inconvenient truth,
nevertheless acquiescence to body dysmorphia
only death do me part will witness quittance,
yet I gladly welcome videre licet reassurance
regarding unconditional acceptance
nothing accomplished by remonstrance
against physically embarrassing repugnance
thankfully the missus affects tolerance
of her hubby and practices vigilance
concerning buzzfeeding me healthy foods.

Harken and cue lyrics to All I Need Is a Miracle
Song by Mike + The Mechanics.

Aye, a quizzical hunky-dory
spied re: anomaly doth attest
forsooth to see himself as a mister
re: wordsmith, with whimsical
much about ado about nothing to write,
who hoped for a miracle
within the blink of an eye
videre licet, the lottery ticket of sight
immediately after cataract removal surgery
of the right eye
quite early today August 29th, 2024
at the DelVal ASC -
The Eye Surgery Center
744 West Lancaster Avenue
Suite 110, Wayne, Pennsylvania 19087.

A clear plastic eye covering worn after cataract surgery called an eye shield constitutes a lightweight, transparent shield that protects the eye from injury and particles that can cause irritation and infection. The shield usually secured with surgical tape and worn for several hours, with only removal to put in eye drops.

Aside from far fetched fat or slim chance
to draw a winning lottery ticket, yours truly
would feel gratuity if vision of mine
rendered me able
to see and befriend
Incy Wincy spider
climbing up the spout,
when Down came the rain
and washed the spider out.

Afterwards Out came the sunshine
and dried up all the rain,
And Incy Wincy spider
climbed up the spout again.

Ah the promise to arise in the morn
(which turned out to be a premature *******)
without the need for glasses ideally
to reveal sights unseen
(such as the above) restored to me
no less than twenty/twenty vision
without making a spectacle of myself.

Yours truly spins prevarication
courtesy using organs
called spinnerets located
on the underside of abdomen
linkedin on a grander scale
being spiritually tethered
to the webbed wide world
leaving realm of mine
overactive imagination to recaptcha
a divine creator

christened Matthew Scott Harris
emulating figurative rock climbers
as he finagles a precarious
toehold and finger hold
scaling the apex of wuthering heights,
which analogy I likened to Fiona Apple's
The Idler Wheel Is Wiser
Than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More Than Ropes Will Ever Do,

far from the madding crowd
proclaiming return of the native
after traipsing across the cyber sea
located longest album title
while searching for universal solvent,
which Longest title
of a music album is 156 words long,
achieved by Chumbawamba (UK)
with the album
"The Boy Bands Have Won",
released 3 March 2008.

The full title of the album is "The Boy Bands Have Won, and All the Copyists and the Tribute Bands and the TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture to Be Shaped by Mimicry, Whether from Lack of Ideas or from Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try to Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother's Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don't Just Regurgitate Creative History, or Hold Art and Music and Literature as Fixed, Untouchable and Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try to 'Guard' Any Particular Form of Music Are, Like the Copyists and Manufactured Bands, Doing It the Worst Disservice, Because the Only Thing That You Can Do to Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It's Over, Then It's Done, and the Boy Bands Have Won."

at 5:01 AM in Northern Hemisphere
out of hibernation,
sans mancave, I will climb
eastern standard time,
when calendrical, celestial,
and chronological prime
airy factors mark
onset of temperate clime
mitt, also coincides with
'super worm equinox moon,'
to this Earthling, would appear
no larger than a dime

though ironically enough,
said satellite of Earth
closest to this oblate spheroid
whatever esoteric tidbit may be worth,
yet unwittingly inviting once in a
blue cheese moon opportunity
to espy with naked eye lunar dearth

of life, nor feasible conditions
warrant sear - ching colonizing ahoy
by an adventurous space cowboy,
but perhaps convenient
launch pad to employ
entrepreneurial minded profiteers,
whether Jewish or goy
establishing other worldly
getaway to enjoy

reprieve, asper burgeoning
hardy madding crowd
populating nearly every square inch,
sans third rock from the sun, a proud
arrogant, defiant, haughty,
et cetera species predominantly cloud
ding, glomming, mucking, et cetera
exploiting courtesy manifest destiny
bajillion year old planet as if endowed
by divine creator to trumpet "FAKE"
supremacy, tis not white in my mind
declaring might equals right unbowed

credo selfishly amassing untold wealth
ideally at expense and health
of every others by fiat, force and stealth
consigning subjects to slavery
in an effort to rule global commonwealth,

which self centered
aggrandizement that ball
(pockmarks most visible hall
of the moon tin king)
did not return my call
and thoroughly explains
without rhyme and reason
why what appears as face on lunar surface
actually migrants of Stonehenge vestial wall.

No burlesque across the globe
upstages mother nature's emergent style
soundlessly donning and trumpeting
resplendent metaphorical pregnant Gaia,
whose all encompassing bulging robe
magnificently, albeit modestly evinces
matronly dame parading and sauntering,
she intimates readiness to give birth
regarding multitudinous flora and fauna,
whereby swath groundswell of color
and panoply of sound bursts forth.

A symphony with terrestrial
ecological community, which life forms abound
via natural laboratory qua nature,
especially at seasonal dawn of spring tide,
where multifarious existence can be found
carving out a figurative zoological niche
in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sound
artist palette of rainbow blended sights
assuage auditory and
visual sense pleasures respectively.

No gofundme donation required-
unless ye clamor to proffer expense
(toward fame and fortune
concerning one garden variety
long haired pencil necked geek
to regale sensational experience,
but before further lines get read
please be mindful
to take lock, stock, and barrel
of mine existential sponsor,
thus a brief plugged statement to
ɢɛȶ ʟɨʄɛʟօƈӄ ɨɖɛռȶɨȶʏ ȶɦɛʄȶ քʀ0ȶɛƈȶɨ0ռ ʄ0ʀ ʟɛֆֆ.

LifeLock by Norton was an American software company active from 2005 to 2017, and was best known for its eponymous LifeLock identity theft prevention software, now sold by Gen Digital after the latter acquired LifeLock in 2017.

Now back to regularly scheduled program
trying to entrance ye dear reader
incorporating titanic and tectonic processes,
(albeit all natural wonders)
constituting eight ways
to build strong bodies
bred courtesy punctuated equilibrium
nudging advantages to outvie
one living thing
versus another organism.

Winter of our (collective) discontent
alleviated courtesy pagan earth goddesses
prestidigitation delivering cathartic holistic
and poetic botanical balms,
which salve (age long in the tooth)
psychological wounds.

Show stopping stunning performance
stills lovers embrace
long anticipating nonpareil experience,
nevertheless straining credulity
of visual and aural senses,
where collective awed pinterests
silences onlookers evoking
masterpiece rendered still life
among webbed plant and animal species.