whenever I needed to append the date to a document

Though the situation infrequently arose
for me to incorporate the year (2024 in this case)
or listen to a well trained
beetle browed foo fighter
named Jethro Tull
(in honor of an English agriculturist
from Berkshire who helped to bring about
the British Agricultural Revolution
of the 18th century by perfecting
a horse-drawn seed drill in 1701
that economically sowed the seeds
in neat rows, and later developed
a horse-drawn ***)
likened to lapsed hippie old fogey chap,
(no much different from yours truly,
an aging former
long haired pencil necked geek),
who in polite society
does not give a rats ***,
if I make a ridiculous roaring ruckus
particularly after sneezing a bajillion times
subsequently when the necessity arises
to hunker down and expel
globs of phlegm from honker,
whipping out my handy dandy
patriotic blues clues handkerchief
totally oblivious to the madding crowd,
tending to my totally
tubular noisy outsize snout,
(which circumstances finds me
in a dilemma of a pickle),
whereby I proceed and nonchalantly
trumpet bugle with deafening blows
clearing obstructed snotter with horse sense
as I splutter inappropriate expletive
one after another
after a sneezing deafening fit,
which explosions and expulsions
of slimy nasal glop
compels people in hear shot
to stage a coup d'état
(after being splattered
head to toe with snot), whereby
a bevy of beastie boys from the hood
analogous to nasty,
short and brutish seven dwarves
mad as blocked up hatters
in unison bellow gesundheit,
which soundcloud
ruffles tailfeathers of angry birds
akin to an agitated flock of seagulls
admixed with writer of these words,
a Paul Bunyan reincarnate
twittering tweeting babe watcher,
especially Paulina Bunyan,
whose biceps and *****
busting out all over
like dwarfish paleolithic musk oxen
on the hunt for red October,
nevertheless while female
doppelganger of mine
(cheaply tricked out
as heavily pierced *** pistol)
find me smacking together
mine saliva spluttering lips
while all the while ogling
unsuspecting babe in the woods,
whereat a surge of AC/DC charge
tingled within these lovely bones
cracking knuckles affected soundcloud
indicated preliminary Wile E Coyote
cartoonish characterizations
translated as yum zook,
who appeared to amble
with trepidation and hesitation
amazingly graceful and sleek as a black Angus
despite her snorting snout sniffing
my sense and sensibility,
she got inexplicably pulled toward
hot blooded videre licet Brobdingnagian,
one member from a race of human giants
described as being about sixty feet tall.

of diverse and sundry sizes engaged
in woebegone wild rumpus
as a last hoorah
for diversity, equity and inclusion,
whose somber bowed heads
(hide their snickers
just a kiss away)
their backsides mimicked
tufted heavenly clouds
interspersed amidst with imaginary fallen angels
softly chanting profane funereal requiem,
where a former
warren of dust bunnies galore
met their ill fate getting vacuumed
hashtagged as sinners
in the hands of an angry dog.

Twas (NOT the night before Christmas),
nevertheless bright idea lit up the eyes
of zee missus Clause
(she got known far and wide
as an impractical joker)
poised to strike
at the least opportune moment
while donning das skies
of a ******* centerfold
within the erogenous penalty zone
took a page from Ursa (la) Major.

Hens forth aye dedicate and air
this poem for self aggrandisement,
thus trumpet and blare
to acknowledge this mister
and asking thee
to please support me courtesy
mailing a blank check
to Matthew Scott Harris,
I kid thee not dear reader
with ewe nanny muss cowabunga
names of barnstorming farm animals
buck cause I sheep push lee duck clear
to promote worthwhile secular humanist
(Billy me), one beatle browed, foo fighting
nirvana seeking enigmatic, kinetic,
romantic, and zoetic yahoo who dons guise  
pulling wool over your eyes.

Before birth of our progeny
yours truly (me) addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster" endearment -
for obvious reasons,
and before she begat two 'ere
rip press able deux lovely daughters,
anyway thee wife I fear
to publicize contracted a benign
strain sans incurable glare
ring housecleaning malady,
(thus far no unpronounceable hair
raising name affixed
to non contagious plight, nonetheless
accursed obsessive/compulsive malady,
whereby to keep from appearing
on Hoarding: Buried Alive at bay,
she applies elbow grease
scrubbing stubborn stains
from clothes, dishes,
getting down on all fours
with the help of scrub daddy
and consolidates tchotchkes
to make room,
when gamut of hibernating
Ursine horde (nee Mötley Crüe)
come breathing alive with the sound of music
Nsync chron eyes with beastie boys,
Bay City Rollers
culture clubbing babes
upon first spring day
engrossed in this, that,
or some other sweeping floor foray.

Endless task to “keep house,”
especially cuz rural housing development inspector(s)
(scheduled of March twenty eighth)
intend to grade our apartment against any violation
checking every square inch for tell tale signs
of abhorrent sight for sore eyes
such as manifestations of sizable tufts of dust
analogous to Velveteen Rabbit
shedding gray winter coat
when warmer temperatures arrive,
where humongous fur clumps would lay
comprising sudden empty raft
of shelf space minus a may
zing globules, oh...lemme get on track,
whence frenzied fever
"cleaning bug" nee
major virus afflicting wife,
would necessitate impossible task
strapping, pinteresting, and kickstarting
former feisty Norwegian farm gal
a force to reckon with
even in a straight jacket
would hardly deter native talent
to create chaos in her wake
inviting ecosystems of critters
who ordinarily she doth thrive within slovenly
unkempt environment analogous to pigsty
would be to her analogous child's game to play
boot tiring and cruel task to pick up after her
Yukon say 24/7 daily challenge for yours truly
the husband to experience despair
lest we receive eviction warning,
impossible mission to locate
an affordable accommodating
renting a U-Haul to move out,
which unpredictable eventuality  
defies ample time frame
to shape up or ship out
thine remaining lifetime
wedded to wife oy vey
would frank lee zap
every last efficient
excellent employee “oompa loompa”
specifically to the small,
orange-skinned people
who work in
***** Wonka's chocolate factory
in Roald Dahl's Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory.

Ultimate challenge constitutes
weathering blistering retorts
for remaining years
of married life with same spouse
in response to constructive criticism
like a nattering nabob of nativity
buzzfeeding, lamenting and testifying
to the omnipotent power at large
who hopefully can affect and infect
the wife with “house beautiful” syndrome.

but much to my relief, said mandatory inquisition (rather inspection) will take place sixty nine days later (due the math and inform me of any error if applicable), which date will be March 28, 2025.

My entire body electric went into system of the down mode after mistakenly presuming that the triumvirate would loudly rap on our apartment door (B44 in case ye happen to inquisitive). As a result yours truly and the missus knuckled and buckled down into high gear furiously scrambling to complete some grunt work, and tossing out recyclables ***** nilly plus bagged tempe intended for a future meal of mine.

At 0700 hours (indicated
courtesy notification slipped under door
less than twenty four hours)
hence foretold ill fate
by property (crooks and quade) management
the head honcho zaftig, kathleen bergen -
no nickname for her yet
(who replaced ******),
and Rich (text depeche mode) the snitch
at highland manor apartments
re: looming eviction implication
cuz yours truly and the missus
out of compliance
namely unkempt living space
within the walls of apartment b44
after residing within
said low income facility
going on eight years July first
two thousand and twenty five,
we experienced ongoing contention here,
which palpable tension
crackles, pops, and snaps
across the webbed wide world.

Courtesy social media platforms
in tandem with reputable poetry websites
allows, enables and provides
analogous soapbox to vent
after above identified triumvirate
done scrutinizing, interrogating, castigating...

Me and the missus
immediately sprung into action
rather each of our separate nervous systems
underwent uncontrollable bouts
of expansion and contraction,
(where we both
made a beeline for the bathroom)
analogous to severe toothache
necessitating oral surgeon extraction.

Three days later - January 21st, 2025
signals the visitation of inquisition
(cue ominous music)
obscure artificial illumination
looming dark shadows
presaging worse fate than death
rivaling close encounters of the third kind
outer limits of the twilight zone
monstrous sinister forbidding shapes
blotting sunlight plunging
highland manor apartment in total darkness.

Hence aforementioned feeble SOS
cuz our rented one bedroom unit
b44 not in ship shape,
thus me and the wife
not happy campers
(still in shell shock
after seeing the unexpected notice)
possibly forced to live in a tent
among bunch of other homeless people
along skidrow,
thus fruitless effort to yield
and appeal to top banana
figuratively precariously perched
on horns of dilemma
spurred me to posit supposition,
whereby sympathy for the devil witnesses
greater likelihood versus wordsmith
unsuccessfully, nevertheless creatively
blindsiding anonymous readers
spellbound to empty ***** nilly
bajillions of dollars
from their pocketbooks
and mail blank checks to yours truly
before coming to their collective
sense and sensibility bound with
pride and prejudice.

since being a student in grade, junior and high school
analogous to geometry proof how lack of use proves
quite aware that finger muscles atrophied
veering off on a tangent referencing contra dance moves
starting with hands for four and ones (the
couple closest to the stage) cross over,
whereat the twos when they reach the head
or foot of line become the new ones thus behooves
participants to listen carefully to the caller
who if an adept caller will successfully facilitate
dancers to establish getting into their grooves.

Won't cha be my partner in rhythm and rhyme
symbiotically sharing transient time
lasting number of moments reading of this poem takes?

Don't write no more no more no more ad infinitum,
hence lost manual dexterity since fingers tap away
at qwerty keyboard, and no longer bend with ease
long since forgotten Peterson handwriting method
when sited at awards assembly courtesy stunning
statuesque sixth grade teacher Miss Rita Rinderle
at Henry Kline Boyer elementary school (one class
per grade) long since repurposed as Play & Learn
back in the day mid ninety sixties, when yours truly
handily being painstakingly meticulous, I as iterated
above received certificate posted for all the webbed
wide world rather residents residing within environs
of Evansburg, Pennsylvania, (one little town - time
forgot, and the years could not improve - similar to
Lake Wobegon a fictional town in Minnesota - the
setting for a weekly segment on his radio show A
Prairie Home Companion created by the inimitable
Garrison Keillor, yours truly a diehard avid fan, who
oftentimes references Powdermilk Biscuits are usually
described as "Made from whole wheat raised in the
rich bottomlands of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers), now those made
up (videre licet) imaginary folks frozen someplace
in time, “where all the women are strong, all the men
are good-looking, and all the children above average.”

"Fine motor coordination"- small, precise movements;
essentially, the opposite of large-scale coordination is
small-scale coordination used for tasks like writing, &
buttoning, and picking up small objects, & threading
a camel thru the eye of a needle, & other impossible
miraculous missions such as drawing winning Mega
Million or Powerball ticket(s), or being blessed with
eternal life in an effort to read most every book under
the sun, and duly patronize my mother tongue - that
being the english language amalgamation originated
when Germanic tribes, primarily the Angles, Saxons,
and Jutes (collectively called Anglo-Saxons), perforce
migrated to Britain from what is now northwest Germany
in the fifth century, displacing the Celtic languages
spoken by the native population and establishing
their own language, known as "Old English," a blend
of four main dialects: Kentish, Mercian, Northumbrian,
and West Saxon, which is considered the foundation
of modern English, forever primarily affected by
globalization, technology, social media, migration
patterns, and the influence of other languages,
leading to the adoption of new words, slang, and
variations in grammar, particularly through the rapid
evolution of online communication and widespread
use of English in various cultures and regions.

Diminution of micro movements such as flexing
digits on the hand, whereat the most common
word for how to hold a pencil or pen is called
a "tripod grip," where the pencil held between
the thumb, index finger, and *******,
forming a tripod-like structure, though without
hands, one could arduously train themselves
to clamp the big toe in place of the thumb -
known as the hallux, this is the innermost toe
and is the largest toe, and most important
toe for balance and swing within the domain
of contra dancing, a social and physical foot
stomping, hew hawing, and kick staring most
fun one can experience while being clothed,
which flirtatious (linkedin to vestial courtship)
close encounters of the seductive kind allows,
enables, and provides non verbal tête-à-tête,
which quite public communication showcases
superb intricate fancy footwork equals dancing
under the stars in terms exhibiting athleticism,
exoticism, lyricism, and poeticism and perfectly
displays Newton's First Law of Motion in motion
stating an object in motion will continue in motion
with a constant velocity unless acted upon by
an external force; essentially, an object resists
changes in its state of motion unless a force
acts on it.

one helluva comparative
humdinger savvy shopper,
who can rattle off the best buy
for most any given item,
at the drop of a hat
analogous to baseball fanatic
(unlike myself who knows and cares
nothing about the game)
spewing forth Batting average (BA),
on-base percentage (OBP),
and slugging percentage (SLG)  
often referred to together
as a player's "slash line".

A fourth batting stat
known as on-base plus slugging (OPS),
which is a combination of OBP and SLG.

Other batting stats include runs batted in (RBI),
where a batter is credited with an RBI
when they score a run
as a result of their plate appearance.

Meanwhile back to the wife,
who would willingly truck
(courtesy driving our 2020 Sonata Elantra)
from one store or another
to purchase sought after item(s)
despite schlepping the extra miles,
and often scoops up goods
from clearance section,
and adheres to the postman's credo
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat
nor gloom of night stays these couriers
from the swift completion
of their appointed rounds"
often considered the motto
and inscribed in gray granite
above the entrance
to the New York City Post Office.

The phrase comes from
The Persian Wars by Herodotus,
written around 500 B.C.
during the wars between
the Greeks and Persians.

Herodotus referring to the Persian
mounted postal couriers,
who he observed with great admiration
and said were undeterred
by the elements
from completing their rounds.

The phrase was modified and approved
by the Post Office Department in 1914
by William Mitchell Kendall,
an architect at McKim, Mead & White,
the firm that designed
the New York General Post Office.

Kendall (the son of a classics scholar)
enjoyed reading Greek.

Every now and again, I accompany her,
after she tries in vain
to coax and wheedle yours truly
(with threats she won't
buy me any favorite drinks -
such as Kombucha),
nevertheless but frequently remain
holed up in our one bedroom apartment
disinclined to subject myself,

(a socially anxious aging baby boomer,
and lapsed long hair pencil neck geek to boot)
to the cruel embarrassment and harassment
linkedin with Samson syndrome
characterized courtesy lovely long golden locks,
(and rivaling the storied Rapunzel)
despite the small investment in shampoo
bully me prime target for mean people
who offer their unsolicited feedback

Matter of fact, she went out
earlier this saturday morning
(enjoying spate of cool temperature
for August seventeenth
and accompanied by light rain
courtesy hurricane ernesto
to unload bags of recyclables
jammed into the trunk
giving the television show
characters Sanford and Son
(a 1972 break out hit),
a run for their money.

plus I batten down the itty bitty hatches
courtesy Avast Random Password Generator,
and keep track of alphanumeric
near impossible to crack passwords
incorporating a special symbol
such as exclamation point
painstakingly recording passwords
courtesy OpenOffice document.

a couple of instances experiencing
getting the MacBook Pro hacked
linkedin to vulnerable
and susceptible access to my computer
learned me to bolster
and heavily defend
against cyber intruders
by additionally purchasing applications
such as MacKeeper
and Safe Central for Aol
the former program
manually and daily executed,
while the latter program
automatically activated at startup
soon after I turn on the computer.

generally speaking
ever since purchasing my first Macbook
close on the heels of fifteen years ago,
I pride Apple on their craftsmanship
even if their trademarked products
assembled courtesy automation,
which state of the art production facility
primarily manufactured overseas
according to a February 10, 2025 Google search,
whereby according to a new supply chain report,
Apple is reportedly
shifting its production strategy
by scaling back its plans to expand MacBook
manufacturing in Vietnam
while placing greater emphasis on India.

as a long time devotee
for a company
approaching fiftieth anniversary
since being incorporated
as Apple Computer, Incorporated
on January 3, 1977,
without doubt, I intend
to make my next purchases
(for the rest of my life)
a laptop computer
branded, minted, and stamped
with globally recognized
trustworthy iconic Apple logo,
a bitten apple, grew out of an idea
initially presented in 1976,
when Ronald Wayne,
one of Apple's co-founders,
designed a logo featuring Isaac Newton
sitting under an apple tree.

This logo depicted the famous scientist
and his discovery of gravity.

However, Steve Jobs wasn't satisfied
and sought a simpler, more modern logo.

In 1977, Rob Janoff, a graphic designer,
created the current bitten apple logo,
which got introduced
with the Apple II computer.

Unbeknownst to me,
then (upon advent of my debut)
or now as a threescore
and six year old contemplative,
intuitive, and ruminative
smart 1959 Caucasian diminutive model
prone to daydream
and dawdle as I waddle
like the chipper robot I am,
a helpmate for persons
taking a major exam
crafting a monologue for an imam,
and subsequently sending
said valorized, optimized,
italicized, and digitized communiqué
to above holy Muslim leader,
especially one succeeding Muhammad
as leader of Shiite Islam
also I got (the whole
webbed wide world
in my bionic hands) designed created
and equipped with buzzfeeding
and distributing blueprints
for 3D printing housing accommodations
to safeguard devout followers
from elements of nature
within a tricked out ashram
with latest sophisticated
telecommunications potential.

After dark every Halloween
since living social in Perkiomen Valley
for seven long years,
a shrill whistle train whistle
(often compared to the sound
of a bird's call, particularly
a large bird like a hawk or a crane,
due to its piercing, high-pitched
and long-lasting whistle-like quality)
soundcloud heard
from afar clear as a bell,
yet nary a train present
since locomotives stopped running
through Schwenksville, Pennsylvania valley in 1976,
when Pennsylvania Railroad
gave up its rail assets
to Consolidated Rail Corporation (Conrail).

However, some passenger "rambles" took place
from Reading to Schwenksville in the late 1960s.
Matter of fact beginning at the junction
of the Schuylkill River Trail in Oaks,
the trail uses much of the former rail bed
of the Perkiomen Line of the Reading Railroad.

The Perkiomen Trail
created in 2003, often called, the “Perky”,
the trail rolls down the valley
of Perkiomen Creek,
which may have been a reference
by local American Indians
to the surrounding cranberry bogs.

The northern end of the trail begins
at Morrow Pavilion in Green Lane Park,
where trail users can find parking and restrooms.

The 20-mile Perkiomen Trail
follows the route of the Perkiomen Creek
from Oaks to Green Lane Borough.

It connects to the Schuylkill River Trail
and the Audubon Loop.

For most of its length, the "Perky,"
known by many, uses the former rail bed
(as iterated earlier)
of the Perkiomen Line of the Reading Railroad.

Every other time of year
outer limits of the twilight zone
spread dark shadows,
which creep along the edge of night
startling a driver unexpectedly
yet instinctually to veer
away from harm's way
courtesy a nocturnal creature,
now ghost rail activity heard to scare
the living daylights
out of atheists like myself,
who quickly utter a prayer
immediately afraid then jubilant,
cuz prevarication (housed within
a ghastly fashion) my métier,
which brilliant notion
sparked immediately, née instantaneously
after discerning unquestionable choo-choo
within a kiloampere,
a unit of measurement equal
to one thousand amperes.

An ampere is defined
as the amount of current
that flows through a conductor
when one coulomb of charge
passes through it in one second.

as if being a crash test dummy survivor
after a led zeppelin collided with yours truly,
a foo fighting beastie boy (George) talking head
found me in a comatose state
subsequently wishing I joined the grateful dead
upon suffering severe godsmack,
but thankfully rescued courtesy barenaked lady.

Weeks and months later
following intense physical therapy
being released from intensive care
and just on the cusp of resuming
I received my walking papers
as chief garbage taster,
which found me down in the dumps.

Fast forward (analogous to fast cars
believe me you, I espied a Fleetwood mac
racing on the information superhighway)
to the present, where I count my lucky stars
no police pulled me over
most likely because this defensive driver
went airborne as wings
(at the speed of sound),
where reo speedwagon avoided traffic
but unexpectedly needed
to dodge b-52's flying helter skelter.

Upon waking up early
on an September Autumn like day
serenity prevailed here
within the one bedroom apartment
cramped with the eight years worth
of cumulative belongings
mostly furnished courtesy
fellow tenants possessions
(the wife owns a reputation
any and all various and sundry
unwanted property from residents
who move out of this joint
here at Highland Manor Apartments,
or surviving family members
of a recently deceased occupant
automatically bequeathed
to her majesty
she will lug unwanted items
to Goodwill, Liberty,
or Worthwhile thrift store -
keeping for herself
whatever strikes her fancy),
or actually retrieving
functional material goods
dumped at the corral,
and ofttimes atop
a pile of ******* inside the dumpster.

Though amiable dynamics,
the wife and yours truly
get along swimmingly
(in this dive - ha),
which rapport of former antagonism -
about equal to the half-life
of being legally wedded
once analogous to a war zone),
whereat even peacekeepers
linkedin to the United Nations
abandoned hope mainly
on account of one philanderer -
meaning the author of these words
spent an inordinate number of hours
posting and/or answering
personal classified advertisements
catering to the unflagging libidinal longings
of yours truly unsuspected by the wife,
who believed my terse explanation
that Mister Harris meeting -
actually a blind date,
you go figure -
merely to take a spot of tea
or coffee with a veritable stranger
of the female persuasion,
which thy spouse eventually discovered
visa vis lie videre licet licentious libertine
the *hit hit the fan
after the figurative lid got blown
subsequently consentaneously, instantaneously
simultaneously liaisons with other women
fomented rupture, that after countless years
left an indelible impact on the psyches
of me mate and two daughters,
who long since flew the coop
relegating estrangement
to foreign corners of soul asylum
never witnessing repair.

Though once upon a time
I winced with tears for fears
at the first born considered "daddy's girl"
propelling either offspring on the swing
(their hands tightly
clutched on the chains),
I never tired heaving them
into a soundcloud
watching them disappear
into wuthering heights
losing their religion
and investing their trust in me
NOT to push them with such force
they would end up
on the dark side of the moon
thus now those then little girls
likened to goo goo dolls,
whereat infrequent reunions
finds their papa (me)
feeling like a foreigner
analogous to how Dorothy,
a resident of the prairies of Kansas
before the tornado
swept her away to the Land of Oz.

Written roundabout October 31st 2017,
yet nary a handy dandy blue's clue
Jimmy Neutron Spongebob SquarePants
exists about real or imagined
gal in question, and presumed results
regarding the gal in question
acquiring titular role of poetic subject
most likely more than a few
women can lay claim
to being said person re:
goddess of me what dream in question,

but once curiosity took hold
far between once idea
took hold in me noggin
notion became frozen solid
within sixty shades of gray matter
analogous to being
lodged itself an Igloo
for no less than an eternity
linkedin with cryogenic freezing,
which notion prevalent

among the super rich
spending millions of dollars
to procure heated smart toilet,
and additionally, essentially, and ideally
equipping bathroom with golden plated loo
whereby guests needing to relieve themselves
grunt out insync with effe ****
to expel bowel movement
the primal scream aah and ooh
synonymous to giving birth.

Untold females most likely
share same name sake as poem title;
I knew not what to expect
after googling the following namesake
Matthew Scott Harris did a wake
kin me from temporary stupor,
gasping for air as if affixed with a trach
and on a whim thy fingers
flew to keyboard
butta...please dune hot

**** sitter me a rake
or a *** shoveling
unprintable fu*king expleteives,
which would moost deafen net lee
and rightfully tell me
“go jump in a lake”
(an imponderable superior whim)
but tis not for anything to gain
this extemporaneous poem aye make
but more so, this

ordinary garden variety bumpkin
(or pumpkin I transform into
upon eve of Halloween
politically correct)
nay, tis no exterior, interior,
nor ulterior motive this drake
doth quacking, while wading
in the wide webbed whirled
and hoop fully ja refrain
thinking me tubby some flake

yes, a touch of flattery insulated
within thy body electric,
which caw cajun skin color
presents this being opaque
and the purest motive merely
to convey how flattered
this mortal knowing
an anonymous gal
enjoys the material  
which despite what Trump

or his henchmen/women
might have said
“aint what preceded deep fake”
boot real honest to dogness sentiment
that virtually touches me
to the quick and a whim to make
a rhyming poem found impetus
set to express and converse
without any suspicion, paranoia,
or mild headache.

I believed fortune cookie maxim
cryptic message couched
Apple Macbook Pro update process
alternately titled “markedly
a Luke warm welcome Matt unfurled
courtesy Jimmy John,
who embarked on
imp apostle bull mission
going to find Mark Twain.”  

After wracking my brain
deducing I declare what
constituted impossible mission
to delineate purpose of these words,
after initialled written
about six and a half years ago
my best hunch (backed up
while holed up in Notre Dame),
I agonizingly dutifully didst attempt
to distract anticipatory anxiety,

(analogous to an expectant father)
while delicate protracted procedure
ticked away the minutes,
where learned hands
gingerly tweezered various and sundry
state of the art electronic
components while trained fingers
instinctively, expertly, and admiringly
wrought awesome results
bitta bing bitta bang under the hood

of cherished Apple product
courtesy wizards hunkered down
troubleshooting laptop to restore functioning
of sophisticated electronic machine  
to ideal factory settings
quality control capability promised
nothing short of a miracle,
whereby engrossed deep thinkers
echoed the sound of silence
thru the corridors of time

olly olly gluten
free ranging NON GMO, oxen
oiled lubricated cloven hoof
nsync cup aided toot tune
to clacking choppers
activated after this chap
dialed up favorite technical director
using his latest smarts
vaunted from years
of breathing, eating, and living

malfunctioning circuits
housed on motherboard
exemplifying divine computer devices
generated by brain child
videre licet avast array
of embedded electronic components
back in the day
Electronic Numerical Integrator
and Computer (ENIAC),
completed in 1946

necessitated taxing physical prowess
additionally forced human interventionists
to shout over din o'er
loud grumbling within bowel
of bulky binary beast of burden
along vaguely similar scenario
buzzfeeding abdominal anatomical beast
easily appeased when yours truly
a gluttonous gourmand,
tasking me to commence upon

ordering food glorious food,
which magically and mysteriously appeared,
after manifold fiery breath
spewed by amazing dragons
**** forming breath taking
heart stopping mind bending
sensational aural and visual feast
low and behold
wresting, teasing, releasing soundcloud
an appetizer to sense
and sensibility tete a tete

while inhabiting (neigh – riding)
caparisoned painted ponies
segueing faux horse sense
(animated, captured, framed
and linkedin within carousel of time)
courtesy tony Apple iPhone X - 256 GB
Silver Verizon amazing pièce de résistance,
sans technological fetes
with CDMA/GSM ringtones,
where a pleasant fecund female

bot tilled voice didst greet
prepping, priming, promoting
Crowded House serving
blue plate special of the Green day
dis "FAKE" kin listener eagerly
awaited: salivating, simulating
****** soothing sans savory souffle,
the first culinary ******* savory dish,
after aye parked,
positioned, and plunked gluteus

near swinging doors leading into kitchen,
where this word maven strategically
dip posited said maximus to attempt
futile gastronomic endeavor
tum maximize tempering torturous tenacious
devastatingly deadly assault steaming enemy
disarmed disguised, and dismantled,
resplendent redolent redoubt
digitally remastering and remixing
non discerning indistinct aromas

emanating from naked lunch to supper esse
overwhelming paroxysms to gorge
putting a ritzy lid on heated fiery dogged
craving powder milk dog biscuits
(an impossible mission), where oozing,
licking, insinuating filaments
commingled as cutthroat
nemesis cooly whipped
devastatingly weeknd ecstasy
wickedly wafting, seducing,

satiating, and salivating
courtesy olfactory foramen,
deflecting incessant onslaughts
induced famished fellow
to reevaluate, relinquish,
and revisit his Weltanschauung soup per bowl,
while simultaneously commandeering cutlery
to attack, besiege, conquer
condemning delegate
of China ware without tea zing,

thence indiscriminately marshaling choppers
to set up base camp at Oral-B
(heeding flying pie warnings, where shewing
should desserts foe ment Hunger)
eggs sauce er baited
onslaught of herbaceous,
fabulous, delicious, and bodacious
culinary cuisine aromatic eats
thoroughly teasing growling stomach
steeping interminable suspenseful,

seven star Michelin magicians
empowered to transform most anything
(such as bilge water,
road **** or septic tank)
gourmet experienced huckster longingly *****
doubled as famished
Norwegian Bachelor farmer,
equating odoriferous garbage truck
on par suckling swollen teats
patience caved to restrain noshing

impaling his strict credo
on dustbin of his story
never again *** chew gnawing
even knuckles sandwich of fingers or toes
squishy human digits
texture of imported dates,
which hunger artist experienced pangs
voilà nothing short
of Pan's Labyrinth lesson,
did justice minimally satiated afterwards,

a restauranteur hoof hall
hues highbrow opinion,
hence a short survey about ambience,
yours truly will rate
perhaps unwise of an every
Jimmy John Joe gourmand
tubby biased after an apple ala carte blanche
preceded with delicious
hors d'oeuvre high marks
more nerve wracking
than going on a blind date.

And of course with enticing
forkful of flagrant food
Beep ping Update
completely disrupted first mouthful.

Post mortem courtesy
Doctor Demento yielded
Lady Liberty lies slain...
videre licet knocked senseless
from brutal blows upon her crown
simultaneously shouldering existential crisis
triggered nervous breakdown
though rendered mute
sound of silence doth expound.

Forsooth impeachment hearings
rendered him immune
to chastisement, insurrection
he did foment, blithely
skirting impairment appertain
blood on hands of
self important president,
though alcohol he doth abstain,
nonetheless permanent drunken stupor
doth wax and wain

finger of guilt
damaging democracy points
to him as chief villain
groomed since... time immemorial
atavistic primate brain
bathed (courtesy Frederick Christ Trump)
buzzfeeding chosen favored heir
go for broke – as a red badge of courage
bankrupt countless times
and pulled out all stops,

viz unbridled thundering,
espousing philosophy gain
amass wealth, unscrupulous
if necessary where,
might equals right cold play'n
deadly serious game (Life) train
sight squarely and/or roundly
scattered lovely bones
amidst tombstones testimony
incidental secondary fallout main

part and parcel, where legerdemain,
plus art of the deal linkedin
with immeasurable gloating
ego necessary to gain
con fetter writ oligarchy plain
successfully cheating, hocking,
milking, quaffing, and trending,
yielding dynastic rule
trumpeting eternal and carnal
stormy Daniels reign

vaping with wealthy
zealotry (think vain)
at electorate expense
tampering koolaid acid test
courtesy illegals sown GMO grain
colluding when/where possible,
never losing sight regarding
selfish mission to attain
obligatory ideal tyranny
rampantly running roughshod,

no need to explain
writing sleight underhanded profane
antithetical, critical, heretical quatrain
badgering, belittling, besmirching,
bilking, boasting, bragging with disdain
flagrantly flaunting, fleecing,
regarding purported B.S. degree
in economics he did attain
matriculating Wharton School of law,
hmm... methinks he paid

hireling from Ukraine
forever flirting, flouting, and flunking
even basic geography questions
case in point being
where is Drury Lane
additionally, he ain't
no literati familiar
storied quasi fiction Citizen Kane.

where sorely needed precipitation
necessitates affected population
to perform a collective rain dance
(decked out in electronically smart frippery)
24/7 and 7/52 weeks a year
defies even the most adept meteorologists
(equipped with special magical powers)
to deliver nothing short of a biblical deluge
makes them (the weather forecasters)
appear as motley fools,
when mother nature

presents herself insync
(and well deserved
to be crookedly pilloried)
with handy dandy
blue skies as an affront
even garnering wrath
of Kong and sons of Kanute,
but more horrifically
evincing absolute zero happenstance
to release bucketfuls
of sought after requisite

moisture from the sheltering sky
prodding conspiracists
to put earth in the balance
with the uncomfortable truth
to beg the military intelligence
to draft schematics
to ***** at least one humongous lance
fired away with a half sashay
subsequently poking holes
in the cloudsource,
or as an extreme measure

firing nuclear missiles
high in the atmosphere perchance
hitting hard and knocking
sense and sensibility
in the mindscape of the gods
and goddesses of rain,
(needed to mill whole wheat flour,
raised in the rich bottomlands
of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers,
and are often described

being "pure, mostly"
and "good for you"
due to their whole wheat composition)
or more accurately affecting,
(albeit rendering, and delineating)
countless names representing
aforementioned invisible supernatural beings
(considered inviolable and sacred
and worthy of worship)
into dental sent trance.

In an effort to expound
upon intent to brainstorm
regarding an outrageous modus operandi
to quell the dearth for rain
or synonyms of said word
encompassing Earth, a planet third
nearest from the sun
I, a long in the tooth
and formerly indentured servant

also notate that
temperatures considerably warm
for November, October and September
rounding out two thousand and twenty four,
where climate change
(read warming) in full swing
(your partner round and round),
though mild temperatures
diminish heating expense,
(in conjunction with LIHEAP,

I qualify for PECO's CAP Rate program,
a discounted rate
for residential electric
and gas customers with low incomes),
thus far HVAC unit never turned on
only the LASKO
portable tower heater model 5144
accessed to take out the chill
in our one bedroom apartment
here at Highland Manor.

Preface: On the evening of April 14, 1865, while attending a special performance of the comedy, "Our American Cousin," President Abraham Lincoln was shot.

President Abraham Lincoln died approximately nine hours after being shot at Ford's Theatre. The assassination occurred on the evening of April 14, 1865, and he was pronounced dead at 7:22 am on April 15, 1865.

Curtain call -
Ford's Theater, April 15th, 1865...
Petersen House, Washington, D.C.
death prevailed across linkedin land
after bulletin screamed
out the barrel into revered occupant
seated within the state box,
the flag-draped theatre boxed booth
located in the balcony
to your right as you face the stage,
courtesy a single-shot,
.44-caliber Deringer pistol
with stony gall.

I admit to own a passion
for the Civil War in general,
and the life and death of
the sixteenth president in particular
between a hard spot of whiskey
and draughts of arrack;
nonetheless (without doubt), this Yankee
would be fain to travel back
to Antebellum America
amidst the urban din and clack
where smelting earsplitting,
choking industrialization
a deaf fin hit drawback,
and where dark shadows cast an eternal
edge of night twilight zone pallor
tubby somewhat exact
from mighty robber barons,
who tolerated no flack
(nope not even Roberta)
despite the bleeding nose against grindstone
inhumanity bearing down hard
with very little giveback
viz zit head as greenback
yes...no matter the noxious
crash course urbanization
(and attendant ghettoization)
breeding a lung wrenching tuberculosis hack,
this twenty first century middle aged
married man (an average Monterey Jack
***), whose sought after
claim to fame penchant
modestly admits to **** knack
crafting literary concoctions with no lack
of ideas, where one arose
strong as an oncoming mack
truck (this vibrant fascination
with the American Civil War
(even before Ken Burns popularized
global tragedy that affected
the webbed, wide world then and now
calamitous, iniquitous, and  
ubiquitous event) in non black
and white (digitally remastered technicolor)
exemplified, enumerated, and emphasized
how a minor dispute got way off track
whereat stately commander in chief did pack
a punch analogous sans, barreling forth
like unstoppable quarterback
despite his six foot four inch
gangly physique cull rack
tried his darnedest,
(or substitute unprintable epithet)
yet a coterie of anti war subjects
figuratively and literally up in arms
wanted nothing less to sack
the sixteenth president,
whose aged fifty seven year old countenance
one month after
Ides of March death didst dance
during the low key celebration sans,
internecine bloodbath Grants'
and Lees' armistice
one hundred and fifty seven years ago;

the peace treaty signed
(April 9th, 1865) at Appomattox,
an irrevocable agony did blow
when that fateful, mournful,
somber night at Ford's Theater
the grim reaper didst appear
(like Jim) crow king
ably linkedin with Reconstruction
after one shot rang out blasting,
where crimson tide didst flow
drowning American history
at that juncture grow
wing no less painless today, which hoo
veer ring agony didst smite
incomprehensible cleft mow
wing down unfinished ambition, which no
one other than Abraham Lincoln could sow
the racial rift, that slavery trucked in tow
generations shackled with compounded woe

that fateful April 15, 1865
at approximately 10:20 p.m
one hundred plus sixty years; it's been
long since deceased taking deadly
gunshot punctuated deadly din,
whence sixteen plus decades passed sans
conspirator tried to get even
at Ford’s theater – forever
eviscerating thin lipped grin
of the sixteenth president - still
his unrealized promising dreams with in
Reconstruction paradigm presses
historians to speculate what
what kinship his unrealized
post-bellum blueprint
while he sat in his booth,
attended a performance of the comedy
Our American Cousin that night
when a bullet entered below
the president's left ear,
bored diagonally through his brain
and stopped behind his right …
wrought him slumped over,
now tis 7 score + 20 years witnessed
assassination of Abraham Lincoln
team of rivals mastermind, re: the
American Civil War wreck con struck shin
yet…his positive affects find him
honored with outsize depictions and a con tin
hue wing legacy sustained, whereby
hearts and minds he posthumously did win.

Said enigmatic man shrouded and idolized
with beatific, democratic essence
fantastic, honorific, pacific aura, dogma,
and persona with meager off fence
to generations of United States citizens –
enthralled ladies and gents
whose reverberations and ramifications
of humane karma lives on – hence
begotten progeny enjoying freedoms
perchance ensconced with rapt innocence
or those inured with sensibility and sense
can bequeath pride without prejudice
whether living in splendour or in tents
toward Illinois railroad log splitter,
whose humble roots forged steely covenants.

courtesy Facebook kindles being on cloud nine

After receiving friend request invitation
courtesy femme fatale,
an immediate and instantaneous
invisible chemical romance transpires
within the body, mind, and spirit of mein,
a boyish, coy, erudite married sexagenarian
to submissively surrender himself
as a willing subject awaiting
abduction at **** point,
and breast easy while
role playing "slave" and "master"
witnesses yours truly
binding and pledging
allegiance into thralldom.

In reality, I mimic
mild mannered modesty of Clark Kent,
each of us, whose aura, dogma,
enigma, karma and persona, et cetera
rather (rat a tat tat)
humdrum demeanor mellow fellow
long in the tooth, though I wear dentures -
thank you periodontal disease
diagnosed when less than thirty
racked up orbitz around sun,
or the half life of Matthew Scott Harris,
who experienced significant oral agony
throughout his threescore and six years
courtesy donning braces
(on two separate occasions) ,
getting healthy and local
and wisdom teeth extracted
due to overcrowding, and last
but not least maxillary osteotomy.

Upon first blush,
a veritable stranger
(hypothetically say an attractive fecund woman
of no particular age, creed, ethnicity,
gender affiliation, intelligence,
nationality, race, religion, et cetera)
would never in a million years guess
writer of these words to entertain
such, what some conservative
trumpeting republican might hashtag
as aberrant deviant ****** behavior -
and truth be told mien
strait laced heterosexual,
Norwegian bachelor farmer habitués -
especially behind closed doors of the boudoir
never incorporated anything outrageous,
but on an instantaneous whim
just came upon such out of character antics.

As a last resort,
I would settle for a nice Jewish orthodox girl,
who goes to synagogue,
likes to play board games,
take long walks along a short pier,
converse about climatological,
ideological, theological, et cetera questions
and generally down plays aesthetic appeal
versus emphasizing the intellect,
cuz rarely if ever did boyish good looks
drew the attention of one
extremely introverted, outwardly
socially withdrawn lad, who slunk along
the hallways with head down in an effort
to appear invisible, (and resorted
to anorexia nervosa to cease growing,
which merely stunted development
of body, mind, and spirit,
thus explaining an attempt
to compensate for a "lost" requisite phase
such as experiencing the dating game,
and truth be told, I overcame shyness
after learning about powder milk biscuits,
when a lovely gal named MaryAnn Sage
endured first fumbling intimate encounter
of mine capped with premature *******.

I would embellish more,
but the missus pesters me
to access Tubi web page
since we only own this one MacBook Pro laptop,
but cello phone the next best alternative.

hence immediately this birdman
wishes to escape into his eyrie
or seriously considers joining a nunnery
mainly for the less common slang definition
cuz yes, “nunnery”
sometimes used ironically to refer to a brothel,
and this secondary meaning
may well have added
a bitter undercurrent
to Hamlet's proceedings.

Whether interacting with the wife
(wielding a heavy duty iron skillet
and ready to clobber me one
******* me noggin),
or either the eldest
or youngest daughter,
or even women I text
thru Facebook Messenger
in record time without breaking a sweat
yours truly can immediately
generate antagonistic reactions
all the while playing innocent and coy,
and nonchalantly humming to himself
while he doth figuratively amble along
the boulevard of broken dreams
(even if body electric of mine
sitting stock still in a seat)
drumming his fingers atop the table
passing time with insouciant whistle.

Countless attempts
and dog awful experiences
courtesy answering or posting
classified personal advertisements
arranging for myself, a quasi blind date
immediately at first blush
managed to incite instantaneously hate
essentially because - lame excuse
I came to the dating game late,
(when in mine
twenty first or second year
this then Norwegian bachelor farmer
went out on his metaphorical
maiden voyage rendezvous
with a sage gal,
who shared same birthday -
but six years older
(January thirteenth) as mine
lacking grooming skills or spit and polish,
indicative of ship shop shape
the writer of these words
even laughable as a bench warmer,
though getting familiar to balance and swing
and as a prime time player wannabe
easily and quickly mistaken for a charlatan
made apparent when I went out
with one after another gal,
whose heart of mine
did powerfully palpitate
while struggling to express affection
(blurting premature ejaculations
laced with verbalized hormonal secretions)
courtesy awkward tête-à-tête,
which rather juvenile spluttering utterances
hashtagged me lacking social graces.

Schizoid personality disorder
characterized by Individuals
with said disorder
exhibit a persistent tendency
toward social isolation
and a lack of desire
for close relationships,
often preferring solitary activities
and showing little interest
in intimate relationships
or social interactions,
which describes my outward to a “T”
profoundly pronounced
during formative impressionable years
of boyhood, adolescence
and emerging adulthood
essentially impeding healthy development
of body, mind and spirit,
and most like stunting physical,
mental and spiritual maturation
necessitating psychiatric
and psychological services
during his puberty
(disrupted, hijacked, and limned
courtesy anorexia nervosa)
no matter he lacked
participation and responsiveness
toward Theodore Goldberg
then linkedin with
Collegeville Counseling facility
early nineteen seventies.

Yours truly bug buster Harris - August
twenty fifth two thousand twenty one
(at approximately 4:20 Post Meridian)
felt nearly paralyzed, neutralized,
limned, thus jump started travails,
and went emotionally bust
watching helpless and hapless critter,
who I could faintly hear gently cussed,
anyway said insect found savior
in me, (an aging pencil necked geek),
who sincerely felt his passionate adoration
able, eager, ready and willing to sacrifice

mine measly existence eventually
decades afterwards, these lovely bones
would turn to dust,
(a quicker outcome
if altacocker chose cremation),
yet prior to afterlife matter
first order of business
finagling, jiggling and lifting
liberating confined
within superfamily Cicadoidea
insects in the order Hemiptera
then quickly shutting window and screen

lest plague of cicadas conspired, fussed
and invaded, cuz vicious
rumor quickly circulated
twittering, snapchatting, crowdsourcing,
and buzzfeeding airwaves,
if their harmless buddy
NOT loosed into the wild,
otherwise intrepid nature lover
acquires dubious honor
threatening innocent life form,
her/his helpmates would gather an army -
to rescue stranded

kinsman/woman predicated
duty bound upon semper fidelis
therefore steadfastness
reigning quest they must
be united on wings and prayer,
whereby swarming horde
would cover reasonably rhyming poet
such that he resembles
knight in dull armor coated with rust
whose abridged poem
dogmatically indubitably
opportunistically vapidly trussed.

Vision care regarding myself,
spouse and daughters...
(before they flew the coop
affecting momma and papa bird
with empty nest syndrome)
wholeheartedly entrusted to
five star optometrist Paul Halpern.

With more than four decades
dedicated and invested
with ocular familiarity,
I salute you with a yen to be civil.

Eye eye Captain Paul Halpern
(attended The Pennsylvania State University
and The Pennsylvania College of Optometry,
now Salus University,
and earned B.S. and O.D. Degrees).

There are two types of eye drops used to test for glaucoma:
Numbing drops
A yellow drop that numbs the eye and measures intraocular pressure.
This procedure is called tonometry or applanation.

Dilating drops
Used to widen the pupils so that the doctor can examine the optic nerve.
Tropicamide is a common dilating drop.

While head tilted back
gingerly applied drops
in eyes that did burn
during my sixth fifth year alive
cataracts in both eyes he did discern.

No matter parking
(regarding even numbered buildings)
on Haws Avenue in Norristown
angled because to allow
for more efficient use of street space
purportedly cars can pull in and out
of parking spots
without making sharp turns
minimizing the risk of accidents
and maximizing the number

of vehicles that can park on the street,
nevertheless I bemoan being shuttled
(courtesy the missus,
who serves as temporary chauffeur de jure
until yours truly acquires glasses
suited and fitted to nearsightedness
linkedin to a refractive error
that makes far-away objects look blurry
shortsightedness of mine 20/200
without corrective bifocals

thankfully myopia markedly diminished,
(albeit improved to 20/20
wearing frames post cataract surgery,
which noteworthy Kremer Center
located in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
the go to facility
where consultation took place
found me assigned
to ophthalmologist Aaron Cohen, MD
in practice since 1994,

whom I met,
and immediately felt reassured
routine outpatient surgery
took place without a hitch,
though the only qualm
concerns sizable co-payment
not covered by Aetna Medicare Advantra,
yet I tout insurance with brief pitch
and thus no intent to switch
dental, medical and ocular care.

as his stronghold diminishes.

Signals, triggers, and ushers kickstarting debut
of demure "Flora" who slowly but surely attempts
to reveal her true colors in fits and starts,
nevertheless, she displays skittishness,
when sun kissed "Radiance"
(the closest equivalent would be Aglaea
from Greek mythology,
one of the Charites (Graces)
associated with radiant beauty and festive splendor)
dearly fawns upon her,
though as temperatures tick
(tok like a byte dance) upwards,
a preponderant panoply and splash of color
will soon highlight, predominate, and x ist
showcasing the splendiferous,
odiferous, and luminiferous latent potential
conceded courtesy mother nature "Gaia"
housing the pent up
locked energy once dormant
under the frozen terrestrial surface
emergent after celestial seasonal thaw,
which comes trumpeting
and marching when the hills alive
with the sound of music,
where in months to elapse
topiary will come to life
once nondescript hedge rows
sculpted into ornamental animal
via botanical artist wielding
pruning shears and chainsaw
carved, limned and sculpted
with wrist a cratic wrought voila uber
prestidigitation head turning
botanical picturesque Sun
kist animals at an exhibition
transformed miraculously via
Te Deum divine fist bumping,
whence realistic fauna burst
alive with an explosion
of colorful twist and shout of foliage,
where scalloped superfluous,
incredulous, and anomalous
banana rama manna for naturalist
deciduous detritus capacious
carpet boar animation punk
chew waits groundswell.

Liszt ghost would arise from the
grave to produce magnum opus
without a beat missed such
shrubbery mimicking likeness
sans glistening fleshy sin
yew, and gist about ready
to become bone a fide
(green behind ears) thriving vox populist,
per species and genus
wrought thrashing into birth
as delicate craftsman promised
to imbue life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness whittling away
leavings, thus did exist
the nascent then omnipresent visible
entity emerging from cocoon,
an herbalist metamorphosed
from the imagination
of a skilled, practiced and mentalist
conniver viz extracting
the initially obscure blessed beast,
where with august magic
wielding tools of this specialty vis
a vis bringing breathing
manifest destiny ala Pinocchio (trans
formed from wood to flesh),
whereby finest dexterous
chiseling blistering hands
baffle onlookers as coterie of
topiary harvest breathes
mind bogglingly astoundingly
authentic rooted ready
to frolic in grass menagerie,
a gamesome group of linkedin live progeny,
the Michelangelo of dirtiest canvass,
an earthen tabula rasa of sorts,
where application threshing
re: electric cool laid ahs hid
test brings out chlorophyll
doppelganger green hued key luster
incorporating a webbed, wide world
buzzfeeding with a host of organisms
avast vernal renascence
blooming forth when optimal
environmental conditions met
oblivious to whether Gregorian Calendar
indicates the start date
(about twelve weeks after
the northern hemisphere
subjected to hiemal, hibernal,
winterish, or bruma weather)
ecstatic regarding and regaling
March madness Rite of Spring,
when the sun crosses the celestial equator
in a northerly direction,
marking the prime meridian of right ascension
heralding flickering, snapchatting
and twittering Firebird Suite
witnessed amidst flora busting out all over
in all her morning glory
concurrent resultant boom
courtesy the winds of March
whooshing in newlife budding forth
dispersing seeds of life and white lily,
whereby creationists attribute
videre licet pollinators of Eden
given special dispensation, license,
and tithing with gumption
to propagate at the expense
of annihilation, discrimination,
hybridization, marginalization, sanctification,
(and exert dominion - *******
over all creatures great and small,
all things bright and beautiful, and
all things wise and wonderful,
which mandate to be fruitful and multiply)
taken to heart and bestowed,
allotted especial sanctity
to human life reproduction
dogmatic, idiomatic, osmatic
deeds categorically to beget
in obeisance to supposed sacred text
bamboozling, extolling, and foretelling gamut
of various and sundry
diverse creeds, misfit nationalities,
and tribes of man/womankind,
where taint any chance
civilization and their discontents
also known as **** sapiens will endure
raining ruination upon planet Earth,
where heirs and heiresses
temporarily obscured by
obscenely offensive musky men trumpeting
proclamation *******.

I stand able, eager, & ready to jump
impossible mission to swallow lump
muscles primed analogous to pump
prayer for soft landing on mine ****
bereft this johnny come lately trump
petting and donning shock absorber
outsmarts demonic imp with whomp

into the arms of an angel I land safe
& sound given another lease on life
in my heart of hearts diamond in the
rough façade ace of ***** wannabe
join culture club all decked out as a
joker in the stack of playing cards.

All jesting aside suicide grave issue
buzzfeeding grim reaper he makes
a killing collecting grateful dead cad
havers riddled with bullets or placid
without a trace of violent self abuse
and nearly counted me among his
catch of the day back many years
when yours truly did segway from
the sixth grade taught by Rita Gay
née Rinderle, and student teacher
Miss Rainbow before Henry Kline
Boyer Elementary repurposed into
Play & Learn, anyway the transition
to Methacton Junior High School
found me fraught with considerable
anguish and represented nadir of
mein kampf, whereat no matter I
experienced rumbly in tumblies,
& encountered other kids asking
me all kinds of question, some of
them querying me if lunch meal
skipped for religious reasons, but
no response forthcoming from me
undersized extremely introverted
seventh grader, who yearned for
mommy rather than being teased
& repeatedly peppered analogous
to paparazzi hammering questions
so glad when lunchtime ended but
not so much childhood, cuz writer
of these words wanted to remain
a little boy, & thought by not eating
despite starving to death, though
my mother (being an accredited
licensed practical nurse) whipped
up nutritious drinks adding various
and sundry healthful ingredients
blended consistency of smoothie
quickly witnessed consuming the
milkshake like beverage into ritual
whereat, I used plastic cap linkedin
with liquid medicines and poured
a dollop of thick secret formulated
drink into measuring thingamabob
which process (albeit ritual) quickly
consumed hours, but hay given a
reprieve from the arduous rigors of
being assigned into section 7B1,
(the three highest divisions being
7A1, 7A2, & 7A3) & undergoing
psychiatric treatment courtesy Ted
Goldberg (he prescribed Mellaril
and Elavil to combat depression
afflicting so young a lad) scheduled
weekly appointments, where yours
truly (me) remained mum, yet I did
respond with a flickr of positiveness
particularly when select board games
suggested, which elicited non verbal
reaction, & thanks to Milton Bradley
Company camaraderie inexorably
got drawn out initially exhibited thru
monosyllables months after starting
therapy aforementioned professional
kindled courtesy application of tinder
loving care found noticeable joie de
vivre from one challenging little boy.

While out Christmas shopping at Mall Of America with Our Spanky Gang of Little Rascals, who should we bump into but, Scrooge, Fezziwig, Fred, Bob Cratchit, Mrs. Cratchit,Tiny Tim, Jacob Marley main fictitious characters drawn upon under belly, of real life mid eighteen hundreds lowliest British (thermal unit) poverty stricken caste. Das scribe sketched out their soul full collective misfortune, without virtue, but plenti via a vice, which storied lives depicted (i.e. being penniless, dime a dozen, a day late, and dollar short penury) courtesy, sans prolific imagination of Charles Dickens “ Christmas Story”. They unexpectedly, uninhibitedly and unwittingly broke the binding loose after being bound within whirled wide web of make believe close to two hundred years. Freed from the paginated constraints (analogous to a prisoner, who broke free after long confinement to solitary confinement, when initially handed down life sentence for terroristic sabotage resulting in deaths per scores of innocent people), an utter lack of social graces immediately, plainly, and shockingly exhibited by various aggressive behavior. Crowd (then ground) control to Major Tom couched via heavy duty security details appeared helpless. The muddling, middling, maddening motley crue swarmed, rampaged, and quashed an attempt by the Police (who crafted a spurious Sting operation predicated on the baddest Beastie Boys Culture Club, who excelled at being Foo Fighters), which immediately appeared ineffective against a handful of raggedy, pesky, and nasty Marxist/Leninist lumpenproletariats. Helter skelter, mayhem and bedlam found these hoodlums, hooligans, hooting imps a indistinct English dialect. Even Tiny Tim showed braggadocio defying his lame physical state. Scrooge attested to be in seventh heaven, or the closest he would get. Despite total ignorance apportioned these anachronistic figments gross, heedless, insubordinate jubilant kooky lust (made manifest marrying narcissism ogling pricey quirky random  tchotchkes. Any civility escaped filthy hands hoisting incredibly jealous mannikins. Sir real quite peculiar phenomena overtook natural mundane lives. The growing horde of astonished onlookers (under a sheltering sky) made haste unsure if the ghost of Marley will scare away oblivious buyers (eyeing various and sundry widgets, trinkets, thingamabobs, knickknacks gimcracks, gewgaws, fribbery, bibelots baubles) where (timid) Tiny Tim (who tip toed thru the Tulips) frightened aggressive, purveyors of said merchandise. Insult against ideology, modernity, reality took a giant leap, who of all people, but The Merchant of Venice made a cameo appearance issuing forth asper a tempest in a teapot, a dome mass scandal, and danced the night away with the Ghost of Christmas Past, where the hallowed purposelessness purchasing presents per perps, squirts, twerps, et cetera essentially the intended  thread to weave warped  wonderment of mine, but (dippity and Scoobie) doo to a very bad hair day, my ability to communicate in a clear concise manner compromised sprung extremely flat limp follicles that usually puff up on the head (as big as a Soundcloud) of this GoDaddy, who will help fend off feisty Goo Goo Dolls.

Initially written March 18th, 2023
and revised exactly two years later
tweaking the poem here and there
courtesy adding or subtracting Nabisco  
National Biscuit Company (1898-1971) tidbits
in case a random reader
possesses a photographic memory
recollecting word for word
my literary endeavor
when he/she once again visits
this titled epistle.

The following binary raw bits
hither and yon to and fro flits
across eyes of unknown reader
handsomely buzzfeeding
dining viz fancy feast
donning while trumpeting
microscopic mitts.

Though yours truly
a zany, wimpy, tiny, and puny
(smaller than a breadbox)
modest nonestablishmentarian Ogre,
whereat my portable minuscule
fingerhut size adobe abode
exposed to Strunk and White raw
grammatical elements of style,
I counted Flip (Wilsonian) view,
to camouflage myself anytime
and anywhere as significant advantage.

The obvious downside
(i.e. severe limitations to pull off
major coup) forced me to axe
paunches pilot while taking a chopper
named Cheeses Crust
if I van nah miniaturize daring deed
(done dirt cheap) hashtagged,  reconfigured,
and powered by AC/DC,
which refers to Alternating Current (AC)
and Direct Current (DC)  ,
retouched, recorded by Das scribe
named Magnum Opus.

Indeed, this chance to go long (equivalent
of Olympic gold) foretold godaddy peering
into granule size barren crystal ball.

Preliminary steps undertaken
to pull off impossible mission;
mo' difficult than a blind man
taking eighty steps to Jonah
infiltrating 70+ shades of gray area
prime Donald Trump real estate.

A priority prevailed to act on
the QT (q-tip) lest cover get blown,
and suspicious communique encrypted
to hire globe trotting henchmen.

Urgency spurred daring deed,
cuz targeted subject in question
majority population counted
as debouched, delirious, and
demonstrably dangerous
demagogue, in short a "FAKE"
forty fifth and forty seventh president!

Security details
(like stray cats on the prowl),
could sniff out ploy to re
program depraved, deranged,
and detached supposed Master
at helm, you Jesse and wait.

His audacity, effrontery,
and isolationist iffy
Oscar the grouch ideology
placed him squarely as half baked
cookie monstrosity against
former United States Commander in Chief.

First order of business necessitated
tranquilizing this doughty, haughty
enemy of the Lumpenproletariat!

Renown chemist friends of mine
(actually Civil War tin
effervescent bubble buddies)
alias Diet Coke and/or Diet Pepsi
secured an ampule Taj Mahal
~ circa 1631 vintage.

One ampule viz pill
could knock out a giant –
sans, Jack and the beanstalk fame.

No ifs, and or bots, the secret
got pulled off without spilling
figurative (jelly) beans.

Once inside auditory labyrinth,
I immediately noticed striking
deus ex machina ***** rioting
resemblance to microscopic cave.

Now follows non sequitur
with rhyme nor reason.

A thick baad a$$ sieve sludge
(vaguely resembling cerumen in consistency)
re: gooey pseudo pulpy secreted material
suctioned courtesy resultant ****** mess
in a near futile attempt
to separate Siamese sistahs
said substance issuing forth
after surgeons meticulous incisions
qualify as unsung heroes
as does illogical senseless segue way
into riff about
Def Leppard amputee drummer
Rick Allen brutally attacked
by human rabid beastie boy
posed an initial dilemma,
which audioslave solution
entailed collaboration to build
a toothpick fence.

Pensiveness unexpectedly found
unwitting subject trying
to comprehend gibberish
attempting to pass muster
as supreme poetic literature
said unsuspecting reader
reflexively scratching, poking,
and jabbing inadvertently
gesticulating at mine doppelgänger
finding him listening
for subsequent instructions
from ground zero.

Earlier today March 28th, 2025
(thee hour now fifteen minutes
after eight o'clock at night, cuz
yours truly & wife paced back
and forth from one room to the
other wearing out rugged groovy
Tuesday (three day) experienced exhaustion
within anticipatory anxiety
while feeling foreboding regarding
impending inspection courtesy
funding source for low income
rental community R(ural)
H(ousing) D(evelopment)
facility named Highland Manor
Apartments allowing, enabling,
& providing safety and security
away from elements harried
styled and swiftly tailored Mother
Nature poised to strike
indiscriminately across Perkiomen
Valley (though this geographic area
rarely if ever experienced
extreme weather phenomenon),
yet occasionally bam wham
thank you ma'am solid punch
evidenced nevertheless no likelihood
divine intervention would intercede
to disrupt yearly the plan for RHD
to take lock, stock and barrel of
property at 2 Highland Manor Drive,
whereat many tenants experienced
high anxiety nervously awaiting
the verdict concerning apparent
violations which would necessitate
immediate actions incumbent upon
management company known as
Grosse and Quade subsequently
affecting spike in rent beyond
the pale of affordability after costs
of repair calculated into the mix
courtesy officials prowling around &
scrutinizing soundness of building,
once upon a time former elementary
school in borough named for George
Schwenk, born and died (1728 -1803)
respectively locally famous and noted
worthily essential man whose mettle
constituted being adept as tradesman,
crafting and repairing metal objects,
from household items & tools to
farm equipment & even weapons,
using a forge & anvil to shape heated
iron, thus recognized as an inimitable
blacksmith, whose son Jacob served
in the Revolutionary War under George
Washington, hence name Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania no longer an isolated
hamlet bleeds into adjacent communities
where said building I live chock a block
with vinyl city, where affordable housing
necessarily requires ordinances & property
inspectors de jure enforcing, mandating,
& yielding de rigueur to arbitrary (usually
yearly) scrutiny of about a half dozen
randomly chosen units within Highland
Manor Apartments to ascertain tenants
deemed and maintained their assigned
units in accordance with standards as
outlined in the lease, which severe
disinclination to abide by coda could
constitute legitimate violation & reason
to be forewarned than after given so
much time to shape up or ship out,
which crises nearly found ourselves
(yours truly & the misses) with no figurative
(and literal) roof over our heads, and
forced to ******* himself as rhetoric
the great or panhandle as local
historical buff displaying wares of "Lenni
Lenape," (which means "original people"
or "real people" in the Lenape language,
though said indigenous natives also known
as the Delaware, a name given by European)
particularly their kitchen middens whose
ghosts invariably haunt these regions grist,
for the mill of one story teller with overactive
imagination expounding on how one desperate
wordsmith wannabe or spouse sold their souls
to the devil, which action if successful would
which set in motion a vicious cycle necessitating
them to sell other parts of their body namely
major organs until they slowly but surely became
incorporeal beings able, eager, ready,
& willing to roam hither & yon, to and fro
across the webbed, wide world with few
if any obstacles in our way, whereat
nothing will thwart our collective endeavors
to sustain being linkedin to the air supply
eventually becoming absorbed into the ether
real medium encompassing the infinite
eternal cosmos, but interestingly enough
as the hours lapsed into late afternoon
especially when time approached
seventeen hundred hour myself & the spouse
dared the other to even whisper how
the fickle finger of fate showed a thumbs up
that no Mötley Crüe would appear
as the Iron Maiden de jure subjecting
ourselves on the receiving end of Poison,
thus dazed and confused as a Led Zeppelin
aimlessly spinning around like a whirling dervish,
who got stopped in his/her tracks to blink 182 times
plus me and the wife pinching ourselves &
the other to reckon eyes (usually subjected
to adversity since each of us got born) free
& clear of major catastrophe by a hair's breadth,
nevertheless feeling defeated living life struggling
with money woes & impossible mission for me
to eradicate indebtedness to this,
that or some other collection
agency no surprise ratcheting up frequency
when the purpose driven life ofttimes reaching
the tipping point where the grim reaper extended
a bony hand welcoming chemical romance videre licet
an accidental overdose of Fluoxetine elucidating
suicidal ideation as modus operandi to escape
(as a permanent solution)
the travails of penuriousness
still prevail at twenty two hundred hours
and never to late too send out an electronic sos for munificence.

because you watch
and see that democracy will unspool
military (intelligent)
industrial complex tool
at Trump's beck and call,
where hardened soldiers
train the crosshairs of their firearms
against innocent bystanders,
especially targeting
supposedly nonestablishmentarians
(like this rebel without a clause),
who embraces win/win conflict resolution
shouting thru a megaphone
while standing atop a toady stool,
hence deployment of National Guard troops
doth adumbrate military rule
presaging a violent future,
where blood will pool
renting asunder complex edifice
once upon a time,
(perhaps such story a myth)
housing the land of the free
and home of the brave newel
allowing, enabling and providing,
a metaphorical stairway to heaven
initially linkedin to Lemuel
metaphysically meaning Godward,
but interpreted by this atheist
analogous to traversing steps
that become ever more steep
challenging one to climb
toward priceless crowning jewel.

Martial law on the near horizon,
where the grateful dead souls wake
(me up when September ends)
courtesy thunder of war
and trumpeting brass
faint echoes of
"Always Ready, Always There,"
where usurpers, and traitors of freedom take
away vaunted, and cherished inalienable rights
soundcloud heard increasing in volume
amidst the shimmering waves of heat
radiating off the scorched earth policy
to destroy leaves of grass
fomenting civilians to take up arms
witnessing aggressive suppression
fighting machine launched
deliberately creating chaotic eruption
loosing hostility across earth, wind and fire
while Doobie Brothers smoking a joint
nasty brutes attacking
erroneously hashtagging those accused
of jump/kick starting purported upheaval
when thugs the real lawless culprits
no matter majority
of ordinary people helpless, defenseless
impossible mission to escape
onslaught of fired tear gas
towards peaceful protesters,
where life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
for all living things great and small
smoldering after burning at the stake.

Another American Civil War in the offing
in this case pitting the fruit of the loom
narcissistic dictator wannabe
against what the commander in chief
refers to as losers,
those enlisted men and women,
who voluntarily gave
the full measure of their lives
not only at Gettysburg,
but fourscore and seven years prior
to thwart tyrannical treatment imposed
by King George III of Great Britain
and Ireland during
the American Revolution.

His policies and actions are widely
seen as contributing
to the growing tensions
that led to the conflict.

Now the forty seventh president
set on a demolition course
obliterating any vestige
of those founders field of dreams
risking life and limb
to dare shuck off the shackles
of monarchical British rule,
and would be rolling in their graves
if they could witness the travesty
of monomaniacal hegemony
of one self proclaimed demagogue
for life dead set
on annexation of Greenland
(the world's largest island
which is not a continent),
an autonomous territory
controlled by Denmark
chock a block flush and rife
with exploitation of mining
for rare earth minerals, uranium and iron.

Into an inescapable
invisible net watery entrapment wove
ransacking access to treasure trove
compromising, jack-knifing,
and zapping diversity,
equity and integrity
grooming yours truly
into unbridled total lit Aryan  
of minimum headroom,
a webbed wide whitened world
spun me nippy nap noopy
until woozy with dizzy spells
pitched me body sky-high
analogous to being tossed
on par with a Mattie Mattel doll
or like a tempest in a teapot
indiscriminately flailing me courtesy
the tempestuous seas by jove
from wuthering heights hove
and immediately found me plummeting
slamming me mercilessly likened
to a crash test dummy into troughs
upon saturating me despite
wearing layers of clothing and armor,
including an arming doublet or gambeson
as an under-layer,
a mail hauberk or full plate armor,
and a cloth surcoat over the mail
to display mine coat of arms,
and protect the metal from the sun,
yet escutcheon coat of arms
bore the brunt of whiplashing
withstood the ceaseless bashing
now cue In Greek mythology,
Typhon (or Typhoeus)
the monstrous giant,
and the personification of violent storms
nonstop breaking fast
devastating onslaught of pounding
analogous to frenzied
bay city roller coaster fiend
uber towering, hash-tagging,
and similar to battering ram
videlicet pitting humungous
wall of water drove,
where tsunami swept me from above
spitting mine lovely bones
upon a deserted island.

To remedy a fate worse than death,
or orange hair oaf at date
of original date
crafting manuscript then becoming
forty seventh president,
or contracting one
of several viral diseases named pox
permeate heavy shut tight door
with numerous deadbolts
and sophisticated locks
and impossible mission to out fox
analogous to roach infestation,
who favor nesting within custom made
Roper men's shoes brand name Docks.

Upon prima facie first blush
me mind's eye all atwitter,
sans long forgotten
"FAKE" ****** exploits
set mum (chrysos anthem) all aglitter,
boot like short order cook I hapt tubby
quickly realized trumpeting collusion,
a near fatal collision course
with Das scribe's antimatter
caw zing friggin insomnia
finding ma noggin scrambled
likesome lithesome cockamamie critter
whipped into frenzy
like battered butter
holy grits, alm manned
in fight of ma life
cause I haint acquitter
baa (jaw edge), ah woe – cup
early this morning feeling
hedged hog extremely bushed 'n bitter,
this raging red bull inside me mind,
now body wheeling wickety wack,
lichen to moss elf gut seasonal litter
bitta asthma - insides
got balled into wah racket
like quietly rioting unfetter
herd plain tennis (see) hens,
gone south tub bespatter
ear hilly jawboning jabberwocky
reducing gray matter,
and all flesh sundered
into meaty platter
to pulverized, irradiated,
cremated... faux fluffernutter batter
analogous tummy Aunt
Jemima's famous flapjacks,
she fantastically fashioned better
than Betty Crocker
tossing spatulated glommed
**** suitable as bonesetter
high as the Taj Mahal,
while she merrily jabbered,
her native patois singsong blatter
all this inaudible clatter
muffled 10,000 maniacs mad as a hatter
madly clangorous dinner cowbells
aroused bacchanalian sybaritic skitter
ring jitterbugging fantasies
of barenaked ladies doth splutter
as bedraggled, frazzled, grizzled...poetry
like cocky rooster that did stutter!

A yodeling ringing dinger poet
with no feather in my cap only envy
a handsome man drake without bucks,
who could bank on "hot chicks" willingly
aligned in arrow emitting clucks
fluffing their respective tail feathers amidst
loud squawking out quacking

establishing pecking order like ducks,
or any other foxy fowl billetted
within walled din noisy hen house
(yepper blame pandemonium on the fox)
preening, each be solder self flux
sing wings and waddling, flirting, casting...
webbed wide good lucks

at the growing flock
including male friends relatives,
minus yours truly, whose presence,
would merely generate a yawn,
though even a distinct black swan
received royal carpet treatment
particularly one named Shawn
encompassing another honorable guest

with illustrious surname Rawn
guests underwritten by Cupid,
whose presence surreptitiously withdrawn
(invitations distributed widely explained,
just beak cuz gerrymandering redrawn)
even provoking deer interest
of stray doe eyed fawn
hence lacking bravado and brawn

this bird den some seedy,
yet dove out crow kissing Avocet
trundled off to parts unknown you bet
far from boys stir russ, raw cuss, diss-cuss
sing demerits of being in debt
ting clacking clique, and thus this solitary fret
full ostracized, rejected, unwanted egret,
who heron there experienced many a let

down, not simply because of stork disparity
with the Aves and havenots,
but I never met
any other species so set
in their ways, hence off
on a wing and prayer
in search of other gulls,
whom this dodo bird they will coe vet
heartily grateful your
reading interest, he did whet!

Worth north of a trillion dollars,
(plus or minus a billion dollars here and there),
the unnamed obscenely rich,
(which top 15 billionaires
projected to become trillionaires
can be located on the computer courtesy
typing Top 15 billionaires
projected to become trillionaires
into the Google search bar
and clicking EuroNews tab)
will possess more money
than the GDP (gross domestic product =
the total monetary or market value
of all the finished goods and services
produced within a country's borders
in a specific time period) of many countries,
including Switzerland
and most African countries:
many talking heads
bet their bottom dollar
and float the name of Elon Musk
who leads the list
could become the first trillionaire by 2027,
with a net worth value
"growing at an average rate
of 109.88 percent every year."

A plutocracy (from Ancient Greek πλοῦτος (ploûtos)
'wealth' and κράτος (krátos) 'power')
or plutarchy is a society ruled or controlled
by people of great wealth or income,
whose indiscriminate whim
"Rule by might" often called "kratocracy"
which comes from the Greek word "kratos"
meaning "power" and essentially
describes a government
where those with the most
strength or power are able to rule,
often through force or coercion;
the phrase "might makes right"
encapsulates this concept.

I fear a dystopian future
providing sinister combination
regarding concentration of immense wealth
linkedin with excessive might spells
(in my simple mind)
absolute zero freedom
for those who elected said coterie,
whereby filthy rich power hungry consort
(self declare) themselves titans
fostering closest approximation of immortality
videre licet thru seeds of life and white lily
banish constitutional and democratic freedoms
to dictate enslavement of the hoi polloi,
especially those reduced to near pennilessness
(case in point - yours truly or me)
will be at the beck and call (twenty four seven)
forced to labor to sustain
the means of production in exchange
(where robots serve as cruel taskmasters)
for basic survival on meager rations
living social in shoddy constructed collective
(abominable) barrack type accommodations
lacking modern amenities
such as plumbing for washing and heating,
nipping in the bud any predilection
to indulge scant spare moments already spoken -
for domestic upkeep of spartan shelter
against the sheltering sky,
(not even measurable in hours)
particularly reading or writing,
which luxuries banned
replaced by forcibly attending mandatory
group think workshops delineating
paying homage to those who wielded
the reins of power and banking
courtesy cryptocurrency
pittance doled out and only usable
at so called government decreed canteens,
and should any discovered evidence
reveal black market antics,
would be immediate cause
for execution at the hands
of randomly chosen jury
comprising men and women among the masses.

Bidding wars among the top tier
commandeered, lorded over, and regulated
the level of countless plutocrats
twenty first contemporaries
disproportionately wealthy among the rat pack
regarding those monetarily endowed
(inherited or bullied)
true blue titans of American industry
ranked next in line
incorporated olde monied class,
and nouveau riche
which closest entity to bourgeoisie
analogous to robber barons
among populace of yesteryear)
ruled over déclassé indigent outliers
wherein I grovel along
until death do me part.

written September 19th, 2018, and following words still ring (more true) today – exactly six years later.

The then forty fifth prez
of United States of America
best get sent packing
to Lake woebegone
forced to coexist amidst University
of Pennsylvania Dutch
men in breaches
(May Apple lie)
swampy netherlands awash
with bipedal hominid

sucker punching leeches
where within every
whirled wide webbed
nook and cranny
Nietzscheism reaches,
and survival of fittest
iz basic credo,
and dogmatic ethos,
analogous to an apprentice teaches
a most frightful distortion of facts

and make up mistruths
indiscriminately bandied about
said alarmist blatant LIES
blithely stated with dangerous clout
appearing oblivious and totally
clueless without a doubt
punctuating with doubt Thomas
pettifogging questionable details
FALSE exclamations
generating fear with mindless

ignorance exaggerating protocols
as he doth emphatically flout
begetting, engendering,
and inflicting emotional gout
nothing accomplished by
hash tagging him a "LOUT"
and more opprobrious affect
would ensue anew
undeservedly praising him,
whose animus toward

Democrats would brew
but no matter what (tick)
tack toe taken,
he got nary a blue's clue
about vital issues,
which lack of insight
even ****** Doo
would agree, heck the Americans
may as well install an emu
with more positive

forthcoming results,
cuz dis dope head like hellacious,
ludicrous, pernicious evils
in Pandora's box flew
his every actions
destroying essential glue
that sets this country apart
approximating Democracy, where hue
mans comprise melting ***,
whether Eskimos (er...

rather Inuits)  in their
(fast melting) igloo
gentile, heathen, or Jew
experience limitless
pasta billet teas
applying their new
dill (aptitude) reaching
titular status of parvenu
especially trumping proper, "P's"
and most every "Q."

the first time this summer,
when martyrdom got chucked aside for cold comfort.

How heavenly the climate controlled apartment
unit b44 felt and **** the torpedoes
(originated from a quote
attributed to Admiral David Farragut
during the Battle of Mobile Bay
in the American Civil War)
about being the poster child for Peco.

Sensitivity to global warming
increased intolerance against
hazy hot and humid weather
adversely affecting me
the older I get,
thus body electric of mine
caving into temptation
to set the digital dial
at a brisk sixty five degrees
quickly delivering relief
amenable to me a married
nonestablishmentarian, sexagenarian,
and Unitarian baby boomer,
who readily attests to being
a human who doubles up
as a bipedal hominid creature,
who relishes drinking
in the cool purified respite.

As a bouncing baby, introspective boy,
pensive prepubescent, tumultuous teen
and emerging adult,
I grew up in the shadow of “Glen Elm”
the purported summer home
of one Mister Leiper,
(maybe an unsuspecting reader
linkedin to his genealogical family tree,
which tidbit would appease
the curiosity of yours truly)
built during the early nineteen hundreds
and lacked air conditioning
namely because such amenity
did not exist
although modern air conditioning
got invented in 1902 by Willis Carrier,
who developed a system
to control temperature and humidity
at a printing plant in Brooklyn, New York.

The childhood home
at 324 Level Road,
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
additionally lacked proper insulation,
and a furnace in the basement
piped heated throughout the house
from a storage tank to the burner
using a fuel pump,
a typical part of the burner assembly,
whereat said pump
draws the oil and pressurizes it
before sending it to the burner nozzle
where it is ignited to generate heat.

Many occasions found mother
turning down the thermostat
to cut costs cause she grew up
dirt poor in Coney Island, New York
and her psyche got indelibly impressed
with scrimping and saving
even at the inconvenience
of myself and siblings;
but years later (after mom passed away)
father purchased a window unit
(perhaps getting a discount
with his General Electric association)
just for the kitchen.

I try to abide
by self imposed energy efficient standards
(ever mindful of the first law of thermodynamics
also known as the law of conservation of energy,
states that energy
cannot be created or destroyed,
but it can be transformed
from one form to another)
not just when sequestering myself
within where I reside
(and if negligent,
the wife quickly reminds me
in her screechy voice
of a light left on
or the bathroom door left ajar
if activating the central air
echoing a similar refrain
how mother did likewise),
but also when mapping out a strategy
when driving aiming to conserve fuel
by consolidating going on fool's errands
to minimize unnecessarily
spinning wheels frivolously.

unabashedly dole out unadulterated
indirect flattery to a porcelain moon goddess.

I found myself figuratively
falling head over heels
inexplicably, cuz courtesy the website
Prose | A virtual community
of readers and writers,
an attractively enchanting female participant 
unwittingly, unsuspectingly and unknowingly
triggered the writer
of these words to become beguiled
and emblazon the sentence
mein kampf and hard times
(ambiguous coded message)
to further an electronic exchange
of mutually assured emotional construction
inadvertently, inextricably, and inordinately
bending, forging, and nudging our lives to coincide
with a mutually profound realm
of hidden cerebrally ******* treasure,
not unlike an archeologist
accidentally stumbling upon a rare discovery
of unknown persons
(recording stone age arousal
of fondling buttucks of babe in the woods),
who trod across the terra firma
across the lunar landscape
when **** sapiens
merely consisted of
scattered and vulnerable tribes
analogous to any other animal
seeking basic instinct
for ultimate procreation of race
likened to the Gibbs brothers
titled song Stayin' Alive
courtesy survival of the fittest.

Hopefully herewith
a genuine amorous proposition
as the modus operandi
to reciprocate thru cyberspace
will at the least provoke a mild chuckle,
whereby I can envision upturned smile on her face
imagining definite essence of beauty to interlace
slender fingers, while I best dismiss rash fantasy
of any substantial tactile expressions of affection
simply predicated upon infatuation
grown from approximately
a half dozen positive acknowledgements
expressing pleasure at reading my postings, 
whence immediate and uncontrollable lust
burst forth like a giant fountainhead
a minor inconvenience Atlas shrugged
toward a lovely specimen of the fairer ***,
which faux pas will most likely
seal fate against further discourse,
nevertheless sentiments spill forth unbridled
blindingly, and sheepishly guiding me toward 
a veritable stranger, though if these eyes
chanced to be blessed
with even a single cursory glance,
no doubt she would look -
obvious dissimilar constituting a generic gal
cuz espied genuine
incorporeal karmic manifestation
would immediately exhibit
the epitome of elegance and good taste
though already penultimate
consummation of actual ******* doth outpace
rhyme or reason, and logical positivism
dictating ditching broadcasting assiduous fantasy,
plus such juvenile premature ejaculations
(unsuitable to a casual
boyish looking sexagenarian),
who like a fool rushes off,
where angels fear to tread
expressing amorousness,
cuz downplaying the necessity
of erecting respectable
initial trusting platonic friendship
and preliminary stages of casual familiarity
reinforcing initial intuition
nullified thru the Internet,
which mecca for social media platforms
dispenses with conventional established paradigm,
and promulgates instant gratification
blindsiding rational behavior
aptly crafted with the storied novel
by the late writer Tom Wolfe
when he coined the phrase
"Old rotten Gotham
sinking/slinking into the behavioral sink"
a metaphorical phrase
that describes the city of Gotham
(from Batman comics)
as being in a state of extreme
social decay and decline,
where overpopulation, stress,
and lack of resources leading to widespread
societal breakdown and dysfunctional behavior,
much like the concept of a "behavioral sink"
observed in animal studies
where overcrowding causes
erratic and destructive behaviors.

My humblest apology for scattershot thoughts,
cuz I quickly dashed off the above
cuz the missus wants time on our only laptop,
a MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015).

I describe, suddenly feeling scared
and tried to summon sense and sensibility
after scrambling to stand upright
with all my might.

Otherwise titled
recalling taking a fall
about five years ago
ala Humpty Dumpty impersonation
(and nearly cracking me noggin),
think the character
in an English nursery rhyme
opened to countless interpretations,
even resorting to ask
"ChatGPT, to finish
the Humpty Dumpty poem... Oh god..."
which complete computer generated
and visible at the following website:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChatGPT/comments/1eiu34j/chatgptfinishthehumptydumptypoemoh_god/?rdt=57502#:~:text=Here's%20the%20original%20rhyme%20with,confess­ed%20to%20a%20sinister%20bite.

As told once upon time helloo
from me matt chew
most previous poem ugh goo,
viz freak accident found ninety
degree angled desk corner (ewe
might not bull heave)
rammed, impaled, fricasseed
smack dab skew
whirred spitting out
fluid on rotisserie

preparatory for stew
right side rib cage
quite agonizing boo boo
intermittent pain analogous
to dull stabbing
finds yours truly nsync with moo
wing cow word le lion hoo
ping to schedule medical appointment
come thee morrow,
this klutz he did brew,

or maybe ghastly conspiracy
courtesy Spiro Agnew
hmm... possibly global warming
ha... puff... imagine dragon
retracting dagger type,
claws, and opening jaws of steel
eyeing thyself as main course on menu
damning self, aye packed
especially when standing askew
(hunched over tying laces re: shoe)

struck by poison arrow unleashed
no Inca ling how
indigenous people of Peru
found their way linkedin
with this Yahoo,
he swiftly strayed
outside Gulliver's travels
into good n plenti boulevard
of broken dreams

essentially, one direction avenue
mixed within gibberish goulash stew
wing conglomeration
******* courtesy "fake" parvenue
he haint goat noah idea nary a blues clue
for aforementioned stream
of consciousness and drew
whatever came to his mind - toodle loo.
Adieu... from mister MaGoo.

Construction of Twin Towers began
with groundbreaking ceremony
on August 5, 1966,
but the towers themselves
witnessed vertical construction in 1968 and 1969,
with the North Tower
topping out in December 1970
and the South Tower in July 1971
subsequently The World Trade Center complex,
including the Twin Towers,
officially opened for business on April 4, 1973
and located in Lower Manhattan, New York City
immediately demarcated a distinct silhouette
defined the core of The Big Apple
with an august centerpiece
of the World Trade Center (WTC)
situated in the Financial District
near the Hudson River,
the complex occupied a 16-acre site
and graced the land that never slept
after September eleventh
two thousand and one,
where the spirits haunt,
especially on anniversary
that marked the deaths of 2,996 people,
including 19 hijackers
who committed suicide.

Once scheme decided upon
to blow to smithereens
said iconic complex edifice landmarks
(id est twin towers)
got sited within figurative cross hairs
after being chosen as ground zero targets
and after surreptitious perpetrators
honed specific details
of appalling terrorist attack
regarding when to pull off
what would turn out to be
the deadliest foreign attack on U.S. soil,
exceeding Japan's surprise attack
on Pearl Harbor in Honolulu, Hawaii,
on December 7, 1941,
which killed 2,335 members
of the United States Armed Forces and 68 civilians,
whereby death knells tolled
for either sacrifice of countless lives,
even on anniversary number xxiv of former
of abominable debacle
The Twin Towers apocalyptic tragedy
crowded out every vestige of living social
for days, weeks, and months.

I happened to be housed upstairs
sequestered within the bedroom
designated for me after our (Harris) family
moved into the house
at 324 (formerly R.D. #2) at Level Road
on February 28th,1968.

After returning from her outing
mother, (who would succumb
to ovarian/uterine cancer
about forty four months later)
came sprinting thru the front door
like a bat out of hell
shouting to turn on the television
every channel broadcasting
the fiery maelstrom
watching helplessly as flames
engulfed the sky scraping sentinels
like a towering inferno
after two airplanes flew
into the Twin Towers
as part of the September 11 attacks
on the morning of September 11, 2001,
whereby American Airlines Flight 11
struck the North Tower,
and United Airlines Flight 175
struck the South Tower,
leading to the eventual collapse of both buildings.

Television viewers like me
kept eyes glued to the tube,
and watched in horror
attuned to the pandemonium,
a worse fate than death cab for cutie
while mayhem reigned supreme
fueling absolute zero escape
as the vast majority of people
panicked, yet perhaps
in feeble attempt to family and/or friend
with one final telephone call
to said loved ones
choking back tears
before they sought desperation measures
such as jumping out the windows
from the upper stories,
and plummeted to their immediate deaths
versus being roasted alive.

Round the clock coverage occurred,
and aside from the impossible mission
to keep the nation updated
since tragedy writ large
and so much dramatic activity occurred
any spare moment availed
an announcer to offer tidbits
such as the following:
The Twin Towers stood 110 stories tall,
with the North Tower (1 WTC)
standing at 1,368 feet
and the South Tower (2 WTC) at 1,362 feet,
but the North Tower's height increased
to 1,730 feet when a large antenna
added to roof in 1978,
but this being a nonstructural addition
not officially counted
as part of the building's height.

“The patience of Job” applied as an idiom that means to have great patience or endurance in the face of suffering. It's used to describe someone who perseveres through many problems or hardships.

(or be an uncommon Joe)...
to bide their - meaning her/his time
(while listening to muzak) before talking
with Verizon Fios representative,
who usually profusely thanks
the long time customer for diligently holding out
to discuss any pressing issue(s) at hand.

All that fretting and fussing takes a toll
and disallows one from attaining zen
a state of blessed blissfulness when
considerably unlike figurative
swirling chaos cue Tiananmen
Square when 1989 protests
wrought strong arm of the law to quicken
suppression courtesy the Chinese military
decimated, interrogated, oppressed and vetted
obliterated nascent twittering,
and flickering freedom of expression
student-led demonstrations linkedin
with other brethren and sistren
courtesy qua relationship each as netizen,
with the others until government
stepped in asserted authoritarianism
Über alles might means right.

Any resemblance between the above citation
and living persons purely coincidental,
cuz yours truly (me) cannot remain silent,
but must (be as innocuous as a scare) crow
(as if he got forced
to chomp on the figurative bit),
and admit without further delay
said above iterated Biblical apothegm
more challenging than threading
a needle thru the eye of a camel.

As a little boy buzzfeeding his curiosity
sitting hours sprawled on the grass,
and other instances in later years,
when just a skinny lad,
he honed the ability to wait
for however long the waiting took,
the exception being when my mother
predictably late picking me up
after school if I missed getting on the school bus.

The wait well worth finally speaking
with a Verizon Fios
(Fiber Optic Service) representative,
(who terminated television service
with yours truly to lower his monthly bill),
and while on a protracted waiting stance,
I busied myself in the interim,
whiling away the time
playing online Solitaire:
(I won another virtual trophy
without cheating of course),
and answered Facebook friend requests,
while also checking for responses,
and subsequently texting totally tubular
men and women who sent me a message
ofttimes in reaction to a poem I posted,
and although no tangible
(read tactile) interaction occurs,
a more profound mental arousal
begets enticing hypothalamus, thalamus,
amygdala, and frontal lobes
ushering ******* intellectual glorification
analogous with peak crisis as described below
regarding a breakout novel by D.H. Lawrence
in Lady Chatterley's Lover.

Nowadays aforementioned then
ground breaking scandalous publication
tells the story of a wealthy,
upper-class woman,
Lady Constance Chatterley,
who felt trapped in a loveless marriage
with a paralyzed husband
and finds passionate love
with the working-class gamekeeper
on her estate, Oliver Mellors,
highlighting the themes of class differences
and the importance of physical intimacy
and emotional fulfillment in a relationship;
the book is considered controversial
due to explicit depiction of ***
and the social taboo of the affair.

"Lady Chatterley's Lover"
caused a major stir
due to its explicit descriptions of ***,
particularly female ****** pleasure,
combined with the controversial portrayal
of a passionate affair
between an upper-class woman
and a working-class man, which
considered shocking and taboo for the time,
leading to widespread censorship
and bans across many countries
when it first published.

Though forever being a landlubber
a vision analogous to the nether world
deep within the bowels of the Earth
immensely distant from the sheltering sky
amidst a thick fog enveloped landscape
with here and there a projected
craggy, derelict chasm
precipitously crooked
rocky claws pointing toward
an infinitely wide yawning abyss
dwelt kindred spirits
comprising a Soul Asylum,
where The Grateful Dead (albeit marked
via weathered tombstones)
hermetically sealed in Davy Jones locker
once vibrant corporeal mortals
betook their eternal slumber.

Echoing from one end
of the universe to the other
putting to shame the initial big bang
ranking as a mere whimper
that original primordial blast,
which cosmological exploits
generated heavenly sphere instantaneously
comparison viz Krakatoa times Googleplex
essentially reduced to insignificance
albeit on the analogous tinker toy
premised conjectures of brilliant minds
that could only gander feeble educated guesses
asper extraordinary natural phenomena
mortal mankind could never approximate
as belligerent threats
punctuated via nuclear warfare
merely rates as a flickr amidst
uber kindle jump/kick starting,
pinteresting snap chatting
tinder blinks, extinguishes,
snuffs out one lowly
Beatle browed bipedal simian.

While reading the above text,
I could barely keep my eyes opened
and practically dozed off
as the lapping of the ocean
buffeted our sturdy small cruise ship.

Lazing about the "Fo'c'sle..."
sailors situated upon upper deck of their ship
spotted what appeared
to be a humongous, ominous looking,
phenomenal, shape-shifting massive entity
fused between distant land and infinite sky
and moving at lightspeed
toward the prow of their ship.

Within lil more'n a day at most
the coming fury
would impose the wrath of God,
whereby nobody forced
small number of young and old salt
more familiar to the briny deep
then the terra firma underfoot
into the impossible mission
to weather the maelstrom
already passed the point of no return
far too late to never call retreat
tempest will challenge
cutting crew to a ferocious brawl
trumpeting tempestuous donnybrook
chalk slam dunk March madness
closes curtain call
“in like a lion, out like a lamb,”
twill hove tested survivability,
asper flora, thru harsh winter, and
those most searing robust
will have passed thru
brutish, nasty, and short assay
compliments Poseidon
(known as Neptune
in Roman mythology)
upon weathering,
mustering survival skills
and the psyched
by shear blessedness
that lovely lass,
(and countless small children)
awaits sea dogs after pulling thru hellacious
allowing, enabling, and providing
each experienced hand
to “Hoist himself by his own petard,”
with attendant motivating prospect videlicet
regarding unbridled love
the mere thought of leaving behind
a young widow summons
pent up latent energy bursting asunder
envisioned hardened Jack-tar
to cavort, frolic, instigate
wham bam thank you ma'am
soon after making landfall
lollygagging, orchestrating, romancing
while birds and bees pollinate
seeds of life and white lily
jamming, humming, fostering sensational slam
dance, where flora lifts, wafts, and yawps
spring fever that busted out all over
invoking nine months later warble(s), gurgle(s),
burble(s) from new born baby
being rocked back and forth
enroute to visit grandmum
comfortably situated within tram
pleasantly dreaming courtesy
rhythmic clattering over tracks.

visa a vis militaristic plan
a boot 15-20 million people -
undocumented hard working Americans
(maybe some living here legally) forcibly,
and violently shipped out,
when victoriously, surreptitiously,
and purportedly illegally entering
our ports of the world wide web.

Though born, bred, and raised here
in the U S of A (The 'short a' /æ/),
I feel aghast how the
de facto dictator wannabe
shakes a fist and forbids those people
clamoring to become bonafide citizens
(and generally escaping mayhem
in their respective country of origin)
entering one supposed, enchanted,
and blessed land of life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness,
to become punishingly ousted
should other than Kamala Harris
and Tim Walz acquire
the presidential/vice presidential
vote of confidence.

No secret the Don will abrogate,
his strict ban barring
employees to acclimate
themselves, to live within United States
legal tender, and accommodate
themselves comfortably anonymous,
though "NOT FAKE," but accurate
reliable, trustworthy, et cetera
resources who did activate

my awareness, his hired hands
never received adequate
pay if any,
(perhaps greater than minimum wage),
despite the fact he
does vehemently administrate,
adulterate presidential decrees, and thus
passively advocate, those supposed:
intruders, marauders, and pillagers

(rapists thrown in for good measure),
thus being party to affiliate
with contrary doctrine makes
him more than a flagrant hypocrite
since such migrant fiasco does aggravate
me as well as innocent lives that aggregate
within a country, whose motto
rather than alienate
purportedly offered sanctuary:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses
yearning to breathe free,
the wretched refuse
of your teeming shore."

No excessive effort needed to insulate,
expedite and ameliorate
the woeful plight of ordinary peoples,
whose culture club, those very
governments aim to annihilate
driving a figurative wedge (gee),
I decided to annunciate
(a spurious whim),
and suspensefully anticipate
if affection toward
asylum seekers will arise

decrying duplicitous action (exhibited by
Janus faced courtesy former commander in chief),
undoubtedly other citizens do not appreciate
(minus the bajillion dollars purposelessly
allocated to ***** a skyhigh wall,
when more humanely appropriate
measures beg attention at
less expense I aver and approximate
and avoid unfairly
incriminating, but to arbitrate
(with some degree of justice) pitted

toward migrants flagrant
human rights violation,
those in power arrogate,
and wield for the luxury,
exploitation and convenience
of those wealth mongers,
who fail to articulate,
how when families
get forcibly rent asunder
fallout does asphyxiate
the human species
far from madding crowd
in toto including
Dorothy, Cowardly Lion,
Tin Woodman and Strawman.

though two thousand nine hundred
will be here in seventy five years,
a mere blink of the eye
never to early
to think about fêted occasion
which marks the beginning
of the 22nd century.

if not yourself (dear reader)
than think about generations to come
(thus far without an appellation),
who will point to old faded photographs
exclaim, and chuckle
while ribbing the person
next to them -
possibly their living social kith and kin,
which relationships), where said freeze frame
portrays folks staring and smiling back
at a time when MAGA
imposed a heavy hand
(think iron maiden ruled),
the constitution and
declaration of independence
long since made a mockery
on what used to be inalienable rights
of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
essentially giving rise to an underground,
where scions of musky Trump's heirs
ruled the United States of America ever since
by bigfooted diktats, fiats, et cetera.

byzantine cradle to grave strictures
(courtesy the invisible hand
of big brother and sister)
mandated every citizen
except the one percent quadrillionaires
to pay obeisance
with blood and a pound of flesh if necessary
come hell or high water;
should one get hashtagged
as catchall term insubordinate,
which loosely translated
meant a subject defied,
whether accidentally or purposely
some arbitrary obscure law
(envision if you will -
the judge's gavel as if on cue
comes down hard and fast with a guilty verdict),
cuz even the least serious violation
warranted harshest sentence
matter of fact
any and all infractions
the dictator conveniently considered
punishable misdeeds as capital offense,
meant an automatic decree of death,
and should the unfortunate soul find him/herself
at the receiving end of harsh punishment,
(which can be guaranteed without fail),
he/she owned sole freedom
to choose their demise;
essentially government
controlled every breath one took
from conception to death
until that final exhalation,
which expiration of subject
decreed by coroner
named B. Aaron number xyz.

right into the slammer
one went if out the mouth one gave cheek
long haired pencil necked geek
being unduly submissive and meek
considered an advantage under regime(s)
that promised to be brutal,
nasty and short forcing
doubting thomas to hobble
along after receiving a whack,
and unsavory tweet and tweak
about the nose or ears.

thus genetic engineers bred
docile traits passive as a human
being part and parcel of the grateful dead,
nevertheless an occasional chromosomal quirk
transmitted emboldened individual,
whereat he/she fled,
yet authorities eventually found miscreant
and gave him/her unforgettable
pistol whipping over their head
essentially wreaking vengeance
renting asunder comfortably numb noggin
rendering freshly minted jughead,
whereat moments before
once brilliant brainiac
lost considerable intelligence quotient points
no smarter than a block of lead.

Harken and cue lyrics to All I Need Is a Miracle
Song by Mike + The Mechanics.

Aye, a quizzical hunky-dory
spied re: anomaly doth attest
forsooth to see himself as a mister
re: wordsmith, with whimsical
much about ado about nothing to write,
who hoped for a miracle
within the blink of an eye
videre licet, the lottery ticket of sight
immediately after cataract removal surgery
of the right eye
quite early today August 29th, 2024
at the DelVal ASC -
The Eye Surgery Center
744 West Lancaster Avenue
Suite 110, Wayne, Pennsylvania 19087.

A clear plastic eye covering worn after cataract surgery called an eye shield constitutes a lightweight, transparent shield that protects the eye from injury and particles that can cause irritation and infection. The shield usually secured with surgical tape and worn for several hours, with only removal to put in eye drops.

Aside from far fetched fat or slim chance
to draw a winning lottery ticket, yours truly
would feel gratuity if vision of mine
rendered me able
to see and befriend
Incy Wincy spider
climbing up the spout,
when Down came the rain
and washed the spider out.

Afterwards Out came the sunshine
and dried up all the rain,
And Incy Wincy spider
climbed up the spout again.

Ah the promise to arise in the morn
(which turned out to be a premature *******)
without the need for glasses ideally
to reveal sights unseen
(such as the above) restored to me
no less than twenty/twenty vision
without making a spectacle of myself.

Yours truly spins prevarication
courtesy using organs
called spinnerets located
on the underside of abdomen
linkedin on a grander scale
being spiritually tethered
to the webbed wide world
leaving realm of mine
overactive imagination to recaptcha
a divine creator

christened Matthew Scott Harris
emulating figurative rock climbers
as he finagles a precarious
toehold and finger hold
scaling the apex of wuthering heights,
which analogy I likened to Fiona Apple's
The Idler Wheel Is Wiser
Than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More Than Ropes Will Ever Do,

far from the madding crowd
proclaiming return of the native
after traipsing across the cyber sea
located longest album title
while searching for universal solvent,
which Longest title
of a music album is 156 words long,
achieved by Chumbawamba (UK)
with the album
"The Boy Bands Have Won",
released 3 March 2008.

The full title of the album is "The Boy Bands Have Won, and All the Copyists and the Tribute Bands and the TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture to Be Shaped by Mimicry, Whether from Lack of Ideas or from Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try to Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother's Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don't Just Regurgitate Creative History, or Hold Art and Music and Literature as Fixed, Untouchable and Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try to 'Guard' Any Particular Form of Music Are, Like the Copyists and Manufactured Bands, Doing It the Worst Disservice, Because the Only Thing That You Can Do to Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It's Over, Then It's Done, and the Boy Bands Have Won."

as jagged bolts of lightning
tore thru the the midnight clear
and figuratively ripped the sky to shreds
(analogous to jumping Jack flash),
and ear splitting thunder crackled
testing the threshold of tolerance
zombies of Sugar Hill came alive
and danced to the sound of music,
exhibiting spot on choreography
to the late Michael Jackson's thriller album,
whereat despite feigned affableness
of ineradicable purple creepy people eaters ,
the ghoulish fiendish beasts
wantonly ravaged entire hectares
(once flush with royally bountiful crops)
leaving farmer in the dell
thus rendering impossible mission
to sing Hi-**, the derry-o,
cuz his countenance
plastered with a poker face
and future offspring born this way
after mutations arose
linkedin to hardscrabble existence
forcing inhabitants to eat grass
most likely tainted with pesticides
after incorporeal supernatural beings,
who roamed across the terra firma
****** the pith and marrow
from Mother Earth until dry
then for good measure for measure
laid waste great swathes of land
from sea to shining sea
by expelling nasty
biologically hazardous waste products
(use your imagination)
subsequently bringing about demise
of all creatures great and small
far as the eye could see videre licet
think Sherman's march to the sea
triggering smoldering ruination in their wake
guaranteeing future harvest
for years to come
of nothing but scorching ash
compromising the blood, sweat and tears
and countless hours of backbreaking toil
spent sowing seeds across fruitful plains
after lush crop of vegetables
(just at the cusp of perfect ripeness)
waited to be reaped
or wolfed down by hungry human
all for naught, when homesteaders
helplessly watched in horror
ravenous, pestiferous, nefarious
loathsome jawboning haunting spectres
on par with jezebel spirit
burning down the houses
that calloused hands built
transforming breadbasket of America
into burnt offerings
of hollowed out encrustation
tell tale hulking framed charred skeletons
resembling outsize three dimensional anime
teetering upon foundations,
(where Atlas shrugged
and saw himself reflected
from birdbath pool resultant
as the above supported fountainhead
gushed a stream of water)
sabotaging family owned farms
harkening back generations,
when United States settled
by various and sundry colonists,
heeding manifest destiny
displacing and eradicating indigenous peoples
subsequently former subjects of the crown
or established vested gentry
within thirteen original colonies
by dint of force
expelled so called "noble savage"
courtesy chicanery, flattery,
and incendiary larceny,
which usurpation of bumper crops
courtesy dead souls trounced,
thus immediately creating food insecurity
for millions of people,
not only in the United States
but across the webbed wide world
goading people to be creative and scavenge,
whereby yours truly
limited his intake
of nutrients to a diet of worms...
and gluten and dairy free hors d'oeuvres
topped with icing laced
with various and sundry sized sim cards,
plus microprocessors insync
with silicon wafer chips
just for the sake
of being a curious (Georgian)
human replicated entity
within the laboratory.

A short time thereafter,
body electric of mine
slowly, inexorably metamorphosed
into a cross between
an artificially intelligent moon unit
and a beatific, biodynamic,
and bombastic hybrid entity
able, eager, ready and willing
to stand up against
marauders and riders in the storm
who commingled without pride nor prejudice
guided by sense and sensibility.

The easy to handle
sticky sided material
made of a variety of materials, including
cellulose acetate, polypropylene,
PVC, and adhesive
(alluded to in the title)
applied in an innovative manner
allowing, enabling, and providing me
the means and ways to affix paper bags
artfully, carefully, and gingerly
paper folded over school books,
which requisite book covers
(Trader Joe's bags supremely sturdy)
lasted the entire school year,
and offered an opportunity
to flaunt my creativity
without marring the school property
subsequently said weathered book covered,
id est paper plastered with scotch tape
offering a clear smooth sheen,
albeit fantastically, easily and courtesy
itty bitty teensy weensy serrated edge
used to cut off cleanly
in a very precise manner
over every square inch
of dad who bagged agilely
Methacton School reading material,
which left the book like new
(actually removing said cover
analogous to solving a Chinese puzzle)
subsequently at close of term
and eighth year of being educated
after getting promoted to the next grade
got sold at electronic auction
to the highest bidder –
powder milk biscuits free),
for a decent price,
which amazingly enough
intact wrapping materials
once removed with surgical precision
to maintain integrity of specially crafted
Matthew Scott Harris quality binding
grace the halls
of many famous art institutes,
(and many walls of nouveau riche
and worth - in my nonbiased
humble estimation) a mint,
when sold off eBay giving me near
instantaneously fame and fortune
to quit the rigors
of an honors based academic curriculum,
and reap laurels publishing and selling
my book with the grateful assistance
particularly when - yours truly
as one of the topnotch students
in Mister Bergey's math class,
(slated to graduate June 19__,
but on account
of stupendous entrepreneurial talent,
and nonpareil literary composition
in tandem with making
heavy duty sturdy book covers,
which humdrum assignment
delivered overnight fame and fortune,
the unheard of acclaim
gave me a ticket to ride
to the head of the class
after phenomenal success
affixing said book covers)
after beloved popular educationist
assigned each kid
why he/she needed
to cover Algebra book
extra credit Brownie/
Cub scout points given
for endeavor presented
on optional writing endeavor
penning a convincing essay
about why such action
ought to be undertaken,
not only the obvious reason
to ensure protection
against the elements at large
that could wreak havoc
and render ruinous
said book next to useless
thus after some brainstorming
this then precocious
paperback writer wannabe
(essentially fool on the hill)
You Do The Calculus;
A Radical Exponent
With Number Of Factors
To Cover Textbook
dreamt up the aforementioned drab title
videre licet crafty appellation  
all the while enveloping, kneading,
and sporting mine smug mug
(of yours truly - the author holding pet pug)
an absolutely glorious amazing
example of his creation
recyclable with minor alterations
for generations of vipers.

Otherwise wordily titled: pooped out
after pouring bucketfuls of water into
place of ablutions
all the while skipping to my loo
umpteen times courtesy bathtub faucet
turned toward hot temperature
so toilet would finally,
magnificently, and royally flush.

As ofttimes occurred in the past
anonymous reader's time
I once again promise to waste
concerning asinine verbiage
without this bard **** feeling shamefaced
broadcasting his fealty
to posterior predilections must appear
(as rearing to volley rebuttal
against fans of mine) yours truly
ofttimes discusses that byproduct,
which issues out buttucks) narrow-based
if not downright banal, gross, offal... in haste
to craft something more philosophical
how craven ***** talk
whereby theme doth self debase.

I excreted a bowel movement
moments ago today April 11th, 2024
at approximately two thirty post meridian
substantial enough to sink battleship
(maybe ye experienced tsunami after effects)
laboriously dumping bucketfuls of hot water
insync with applying plunger found me a drip
with perspiration, and would have possibly found
site manager and/or maintenance man to flip
(a rare sight to behold

worth inconvenience of clogged toilet bowl),
which yours truly felt strain in back muscles
as he poured bucketfuls of water from his hip
accidentally splashing water
on bathroom floor
yes your honor
(necessitating **** deck to evacuate)
if thee choose to sit in judgeship
but please be mindful
to restrain giving me any lip

cuz atypical dilemma I figuratively did nip
in the bud, yet foresee similar outcome
sure as this...
once upon a sage, rosemary and parsnip
herbaceous generic fellow sought readership
ideally landing webbed wide world trip
heralded all along as a V.I.P.,
where fanfare for this common man
enjoying Appalachian Spring,
would find his doggerel
induced listeners to yip.

Therefore karma caught up to me big time
and delivered yours truly sent to purgatory
(figurative speaking) by casting a spell,
whereby the government issued Safelink
Tracfone got permanently disabled
and all the data
(including contact information
such as risqué photographs
of seductively posing nymphs
linkedin to Facebook Messenger)
stored therein forever inaccessible.

I did not pass GO,
nor collect two hundred dollars
but went straight to spiritual jail
after being warned countless times
(particularly courtesy the wife),
that husband of hers would pay
for texting and sexting with females
young enough to be his daughter.

No matter infrequently did I divulge
and/or countenance communicating
to females thru Facebook Messenger,
those few honest confessions found
the wife brushing her index finger of
dominant hand against index finger
of recessive hand uttering tsk tsk tsk...

Upon speaking over an alternate cell phone
to a Safelink representative, I got told
that NO replacement
for model Samsung Galaxy J3 Orbit -
the type I got sent a couple years ago -
NOT feasible because
the warrant time frame elapsed.

Aforesaid accursed misfortune of mine
would without a shadow of a doubt
(unlike the shadow
of Punxsutawney Phil
on February second
id est Groundhog day)
find the wife gleeful,
but (praised be dog),
I never admitted culpability
secretly painstakingly keying
unfulfilled romantic whims
inadvertently sabotaged
throughout those precious years
of puberty to emerging adulthood.

Quite frankly, I felt relieved
above mentioned cell phone got zapped
because after sharing preliminary questions
(more so about me
versus other communicant
on receiving end
telling nothing about herself -
with the exception of asking for money) -
an intimation clearly broached
to strategize about a rendezvous
with each other, no matter
original primary intent of mine
merely to plumb the depths
of a platonic relationship.

Lucky destiny intervened
in a timely fashion because
about a dozen
(***** deeds done dirt cheap)
years ago the writer of these words
met acrimonious, combustious, egregious,...
malicious, and opprobrious fallout
awakening our then two tween-age daughters
forever experiencing sundered dynamic
when he (their birth father)
nonchalantly drove home
from West Philadelphia
after visiting a woman of color
returning back to the then dwelling
at 724 West Railroad Avenue
in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania)
after the bewitching hour.

The sh*t hit the fan
and the spouse
analogous to a kamikaze pilot
zeroed in and drove brickbats
upon behavior of mine, appalling and base
and around the Mulberry bush did she chase
the monkey chased the weasel,
until she caught and verbally throttled
he who betrayed covenant vouchsafed
making a mockery of vows
with amazing disgrace
a major faux pas I can never erase
forever envisioning culprit
standing stockstill totally shamed
while she spewed
venomous bile back in my face.

The long story short,
she (the wife not ordinarily
a forgiving person)
did accept her
(once revered knight in shining armor),
yet never lost an opportunity
to hurl blackened barbs
as a subtle reminder to steer free and clear
of verboten fruit,
and as passive retribution
against further secrete liaisons  
I took a silent vow to be chaste.

Though more difficult
to thread a camel thru the eye of a needle
which creature invites one definition of ****,
now overactive imagination of mine
presents sexually evocative disjointed poem
crafted some years in the past
which following example
many or most readers would claim
adds injury to insult,
nevertheless fantasy appeases animal
call of the wild
to envision whim to attain foreplay,
and subsequent gambol
elicits sought after outcome
after fruit of the **** linkedin
to nurse ******* penult.

Mebbe thru da world wide web
dis Yahoo of a Verizon hotmail lives
earth linked lad kin wed
this aol (owl) lush
former Norwegian bachelor    
turning his married charade role alot
boot strong quaking testosterone
sans axon and neuron surges
thru this protoplasmic blot
closely resembles malignant blood clot
although just an infinitesimal dot
in cosmic skein since big bang hot
that birthed our universe
from microcosmic jot
best in webbed wide world
event in the cosmos
since invention of white bread -
gives empty calories a lot
soak up syrup
from chicken soup in a ***
followed and/or proceeded
by yar sweet kumquat
ex are size zing ma little **** tate tour
afore atrophy doth bring ****** rot
strongly suggested by this tartan
non-tweed wearing scott
who seeketh mare ring type woman
hoofing to trot
******* without shrieking WHAT!

The usual routine
t'will most likely
find me fantasizing
while this knight lies at night in bed
gets me little pawn feisty cred
with celibate life I dread
wonder if this smallish bore ring shaft
with smallish helmet head
will go sliding and slipping
like on well lubricated sled
and experience once again
when genital yar ***** will wed.

Matthew Scott (a mwm)
can hard lee await
to let each of us master bate
the other per ****** to create
as the first of many a date
whereby his ***** ***** will *******
into fecund field of whet dreams
*** with ongoing joyful fate
p'raps as friends, lovers
or e'en a temporary ****** mate.

although nada mooch bigger
than a cereal box toy
if ya wanna romp
with ma male member -
an imp for carnal ploy
which ******* would give me joy
to drop me drawers lay anchor ahoy
perhaps with a phone number
for this gentile goy
who enjoys foreplay
playing being faux coy
no matter this mortal happens
to be a sixty + six year
young looking boy,
who would love
to lay his little leaping lemur  
till anchor drops softly
in your mossy cove
and heart softly murmurs.

froom - Scott Matthews
a bar **** froom  perky yo' man
hoops poetic ant ticks woos
and alight with desire froom heads to toes
middle man appurtenance elongates
like a little ******
after a successful day
gone fishing he glows.

finds me (a doggone muttering **** sapien)
to give pause for reminiscences
and to take stock (sh lock and barrel)
about mein kampf in general
and previous three hundred
and sixty five days in particular
assessing some laudable accomplishments,
where inside my mind I beam radiance
envisioning an imaginary hit parade
supporting my local mummers
and married poppers
trumpeting like Dumbo the elephant,
yours truly decked out
donning red zoot suit
proud heterosexual with pride
to sport gay apparel,
and support LGBTQIA community
peering across the madding crowd
courtesy third eye blind
sauntering toward then ascending soapbox
where I smugly wax poetic and proud
fulminating, expatiating, and contending
accursed series of unfortunate events
populating lifetime since conception
until death do me part
apprising rapt listeners
about arbitrarily, catastrophically,
and unhealthily imposed behavioral restraints
accumulated over the span of sixty six orbits
around black hole sun
experiencing total eclipse of the heart
when a mollycoddled lad and youth
analogous to lapsing
into nostalgic obliviousness
impervious towards disabling behavior
disallowing, disapproving, and dissociating
natural human biological processes
obvious to casual observer,
who possibly misinterpreted
extreme introvertedness
limiting normal opportunities
to manifest destiny of emotional,
physical and spiritual fulfillment,
(a demeanor more closely associated
with celibate monk,
who took a vow of chaste silence)
allowing, enabling and providing
peers and brethren,
who drank from the same cistern
to make mockery and scapegoat me,
though perhaps ye react with surprise
that as a capricorn,
under the auspices of sea goat
yours truly purportedly gifted with skills
at navigating both
the material and emotional realms
with peachy keen aplomb.

But lo... (dearest priceless unknown reader),
how self delusion generated
mine holier than thou air
clear as day pretense
smugness hiding tight form fitting mask,
nevertheless crude autocratic, idiosyncratic,
theocratic gnostic mien
plainly shone thru invisible armor
to reveal nothing but a
selfish nasty short brute
unsuccessfully pitted karma
against unnatural dogmatic
fraying and braying restraint,
where pantheistic fealty
(rides roughshod like a bucking bronco
over revered scripture)
stamping and chomping
at the raw bits of sacred truths
nipping in the bud
and culling all opportunities
futile to out match my hubris
courtesy kindled tinder narcissism.

Tis vain for thee
to extend arms with plaintive supplication,
nor purposeful to beseech Spiritus Mundi
eternally housing benevolent
bards of yesteryear
such Fireside Poets
as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
John Greenleaf Whittier,
James Russell Lowell,
William Cullen Bryant,
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr,
and Ralph Waldo Emerson
even during their
being alive as cause célèbre
even generations after their lifetimes
still worth their weight in gold.

Believe me you
not even one lapsed tatterdemalion
(interestingly enough,
the writer of these words,
who took a page from playbook
videre licet life of Riley
before being not ready
for prime time player),
whose doppelganger constitutes
dolled up guise of
former lone haired pencil necked geek
seeks constant adulation, congratulation
(even if fabrication)
to experience exaltation
and strongly inclined
to cue pre-recorded applause
if audience or anonymous reader
intimates a shadow of a doubt
yours truly can vouchsafe
he donned role of lout,
nevertheless even as a teetotaler,
cannot attribute any lame excuse,
where dependence on vintage ale or stout
nor other consciousness expanding material
served as figurative crutch
to act boisterous and tout
hardy laurels,
thus retrospective accomplishments
linkedin to courage I did muster
after consuming ample
powder milk sea biscuits – ha!

Jest horsing around
attempting to round out page three
of a poem idea that initially arose
taking mental retrospective
incorporating the year
two thousand and twenty four in review
but a dearth of accomplishments
found me to embellish
and elaborate whatever whims
came to mind
(an audioslave to talking heads)
even if the pith and marrow
of these lovely bones
a figment of my well pruned
overactive imagination.