I revised a poem written
January twenty second
last year – two thousand twenty one
regarding gratitude for Medicare
Insurance to foot the bill
concerning ability to heal
courtesy immune system
undergoing toe till agency
or closest approximation thereof  
impossible mission to undergo
one hundred percent protection
against contracting deadly illness,
viz latest epidemic impacting civilization.

Here at Highland Manor Apartments
Saturday January twenty third,
two thousand and twenty one,
I attest yours truly
received the first (of four)
inoculations to stave off
getting COVID-19,
thus mine poetic title
might not seem absurd.

Wednesday February third
and Friday October twenty second
same year as above
witnessed himself receiving
second and third injections respectively
to diminish vulnerability
contracting transmissible pathogen.

Today Wednesday April sixth
two thousand twenty two
poet of Perkiomen Valley
received the fourth
bringing him up to date
(or speed if you prefer druggist's lingo)
with Center for disease
control recommendations.

Aforementioned stance toward death
(meaning taking preventative measures
to live healthy existence)
obviously avoid Saturday night fever
regarding desire Stayin' Alive
and most oppressive
when mine mental, physical
and/or spiritual yours truly
takes a (swan) dive
analogous where bajillion bees
swarm from their hive.

Linkedin with well known poem by and by
penned by Emily Dickinson, I didst decry
expressed her relief
to surender release
and amazingly gracefully die
"Because I could not stop for Death,"
she aptly crafted verses to comply
reverently, merrily, and gloriously accepting
cessation of existence well nigh
as does one garden variety generic goofy guy.

All natural catastrophes aside,
plus excluding thermonuclear war,
where civilization would get fried
nullifying idea viz,
let conscience be your guide,
nor no place to run and hide
left to grapple with dystopian quandary

shuttering fright housed inside
in one **** annihilating prejudice
(white privilege included) and pride
reducing to ashes trumpeting
self importance, where snide
persona grata becomes irrelevant
as does living social
or vacationing in Telluride.

Interestingly enough,
I do not entertain notions
inflicting self harm nor suicide,
but expect longevity (to ride
one after another orbitz around the sun)

minimum total (represented courtesy
value units and tens place)
equaling the largest double digit
in plain Olde English aged
to perfection groom and bride
attains at least ninety nine years.

Despite skittering within hair's breadth or blink
looming over the edge no time to think,
cuz no matter being knight in shining armor
I can scrunch and squint thru visored *****,
and espy and the title
of a storied book by Tom Wolfe I think
Old Rotten Gotham sliding into behavioral sink,
amidst so much flotsam and jetsam

while singing Skidamarink
surrender unavoidable fate
cuz destiny dis rapper doth not shrink
and recognizes that whatever does not ****
will only make me stronger
(money back guarantee)
I attain a spry five score birthdays
and while away hours
playing solitary game of tiddlywink.

announces Summer Solstice 2024
regarding purr ray zing planetary earthlings
paying obeisance to god/goddess of the sun
Thursday, June twentieth
at 4:51 Post Meridian
Eastern standard time
will find Earth's North Pole tilted
closest toward sun.

This deodorizes, denotes,
demarcates, delineates, et cetera
most daylight hours of the year for
people living in the northern hemisphere.

Just shy of high noon sun (lil Nas more than
twelve hours from drafting these lines)
nearest star in solar system reaches
highest point in the sky.

Hence hasty intent to beat buzzer sound
dashing off riding figurative one seahorse
open sleigh madly awk cross cyber sea,
aye rudder sally forth (slogging thru
virtual flotsam and jetsam) with poetic

obeisance paid to average size ball of
Earth, wind and fire, my out of this
world quasi stellar benediction, since
Earthlings traveled thru space/time
continuum circa complimenting
summer solstice at Stonehenge
when the sky clear, the sun rises
behind the Heel stone, the ancient entrance
to the circle, and rays of sunlight channelled
into the centre of the monument.

Perchance bajillion years ago, when predecessors
of present day primates (**** sitter terribly
less a bomb bin hubble), versus twenty first
century **** sapiens predilection for total
mortal kombat graphically spiraling downward

zeroing (kamikaze like), analogy drawn,
viz subjective mathematical roulette curves,
albeit hypotrochoids and epitrochoids staining
countless grains of sand, count them yourself,
yielding result somewhere very loosely
approximating 7.5 x 1018, or seven quintillion,
five hundred quadrillion grains.

Such minutiae less significant within the realm
of present day **** sapiens, whose lives less
linkedin with phenomena affecting life on this
oblate spheroid, which could come to a crashing
halt predicated on burgeoning human population
jeopardizing sustainable planet presuming
industrial paradigm prevails, thence man/
woman kind will unwittingly trumpet, and
or sound claxon (ex post facto), while
warming temperatures melt glaciers,
asper huge popsicles drowning
multitudinous habitats courtesy of

violent meteorologic cataclysms, where
Noah's ark will be big enough to save majority
of creatures, and (wherein no art of the deal)
savvy enough to wall off sky high tidal
Katrina and the waves, then nature will (make
a killing) relishing tidying Atlas sized tureen
if necessary applying pledged finishing touches
repurposing third rock for another species slated
to inherit pseudo tabula rasa after Campbells,
and broth hers detox polluted primordial soup
i.e. once cleansed of poisons, thus...I condense
my Green New Deal spiel!

Midwinter night dream filled
with balm of June solstice rays
lackadaisical and carefree months ideal time
to while away pronounced illuminated days
outdoor sports a favorite choice
occupies athletic population,
which venues witness frequent surge
and spill of overtime plays
another popular milieu

favorable climate awakens
constitutes habitués vacationers visit
ashore popular waterways
beachfront shoreline inundated
by mass exodus of sun worshippers
tidal seaboard awash
along every square inch
human species splashes to keep cool
within ocean and bays.

Six months ago bitter cold
and dark snow filled skies
wrought undeserved vengeance
viewed from these eyes,
who after each and
every major winter storm
donned proper attire
to stay warm outside
while clearing walkway
with shovel in hand
executed repetitive motion
akin to how boater plies
similar (yet reversed)
****** swing of arms
now readily prepares for execution
of most difficult seasonal task
requires usage of most complex muscle
the source of poetry witty and wise.

Awake to the solar celestial sea chant
mourning regarding species no longer extant
thus upon figurative shoulders of youth
tasked with survival of humanity
a behemoth nearly impossible mission
younger generations unfairly saddled
with obligatory filched grant
courtesy when fossil fuels
broadcast onset of
fourth Industrial Revolutions
spewing paradigm viz
free market capitalist kant
now quashing, thrashing,
wrestling against rant
long fostering **** sapiens dominance.

Starry-eyed dark matter
of infinite space
espied by countless eons
since original human race
became cognizant of her/
his terrestrial place
gilding the heavens with strings
of pearly hued lace
closer to earth charting
early skywatchers to notice moon face
held captive via gravitational brace
while zodiac archer aims
cocked bow, where knocked feathers
sans arrow complete an awesome
fantastic bullseye ace.

Mother nature’s ornery
primates supreme display
said massive breastworks broadcast inlay
feat of awesome accomplishment
finds yours truly humbled okay
with his feeble limitations
engendering ample rocky tsuris oy vey.

Today June 20th, 2024
4:51 post meridiem EDT
after a light rain,
of morning mountain dew
a strand of pearls clung
to slender tree limbs
bejeweled woody flora prismatic orbs
tell tale sign recent cloudburst
cleft darkened heavens
rained watery life source liquid

downpour laced branched canopy
awash with molecular droplets
requisite to buzzfeed
burlesque Vaudeville bluster
exquisite gala performance unrehearsed
unscripted ubiquitous theatrical performance
received limitless encores
toward Gaia screenwriter
whose infinite scope

(wrought upon natural landscape palette)
exceeds the finite abilities
of those bipedal *******
human organisms imbued
whose dilettante debut
(dawned these last seconds
on the clock face of geologic history)
might witness curtain call
on their final act.

(joining "Wynken, Blynken and Nod"
at figurative drop of hat
even if yours truly immediately
woke from his slumbers).

When zapped of energy the sandman doth knock
no matter readout of analog or digital o'clock
hankering urge to sleep
exponentially increased with every passing tick tock.

Our marital bed
occupied about two and half score years
since we (me and the spouse) wed
even during spate (sowing wild oats -
regarding gathering rosebuds while I may)
of mine risqué business,
when unnamed husband did dread

with extreme trepidation manning left side
(picture said individual
lying on his back) atop
(sleep number)  mattress,
predicting spouse considered me
(courtesy crimes of passion)
better off dead.

Though both deux daughters
(figuratively) flew the coop
mine wife chides me courtesy
(unwittingly preceding trend
concerning popular couture),
where she playfully
pulls down mine baggy sweatpants
leaving drawers droop
around mine skinny (think chicken)
spindle shank like bow legs

bent appendage vaguely hinting hula hoop
(fake detail here, which singular purpose
to supplement reasonable rhyme
ultimately sole purpose
to lasso and loop)
exert tight hold on reader's imagination
more torturous versus unsuspected prey
subjected to deafening war whoop
after cannibals counted scalps
sacrificed victims as human zoup.

Before concluding current poem
(which prompts me to think
metaphysically ruminating regarding
when does authored written work
reach childhood's end)
possibly vexing readers
to trot off to zz top less land

miserably (perhaps purposely)
failing to pony up
reining in long overdue adieu,
where beastie boy king of schnorrers
snores dreaming about
foo fighting motley crue (in dire straits)
donned in gay apparel characteristic ecru

whereby unconsciousness
REM memorable cycles found
upper and lower eyelids shuttered
courtesy invisible glue
hermetically sealed airtight
as blocks of ice constituting
(albeit housing) an igloo

temperatures greater than
five below fahrenheit
finds me freezing off my kazoo,
hence despite somnambulant state
I (charming cheater) trod along
tundra of broken
(not very sweet) dreams.

Invariably somnolence finds me dead tired
no recourse available
when energy meter expired.

Impossible mission to thwart repose
thus once noggin plunges into pillow
thus these lovely bones
approximate rigor mortis pose
faint breathing detectable out me nose
intermittent twitching of limbs
characterize highs and lows
stuff mine dreams are made
where mishmash of images juxtapose.

with a scheming, loving, and enticing guise
alive and well seeking gullible guys
(once upon a time just like me),
who experiences close encounters
of masterly baited entrapment
on Facebook Messenger
and most likely endemic
on other social media platforms.

My humblest bumblebee apology
if nothing but utter milky confusion
ensues from legions of double entendres,
and puns lobbed across your screen
in a harmless attempt
to parry and ****** with playfulness,
but take a deep breath
cause by the end of this posting
(girl scout's honor) you will wheeze
after weathering tumultuous introduction
to poetic missive of mine
merely meant to tickle those axons
populating the nose
about to make the nostril(s),
and neurons as a tease
sne, snee...sneez...achoo...sneeze
analogous to a feather
sorry if you get an allergic reaction
and experience more'n knocked knees.

No easy way to offer you an abridged version
(and brook those undercurrents of riptides)
that wrought havoc and delivered
nothing but hard times to this writer and kin
the latter (two grown daughters)
long since launched successful lives.

I constantly felt rent asunder
and whipped (though
miraculously survived) this way and that
(by abysmal fate)
in what most likely
appeared to be beyond the ability
to function, yet someone
(by the slick grace of some divine force,
and faith no more in inherent strength)
wordsmith performed requisite duties
as house husband and father
never experienced deliverance
(cue dueling banjos)
after dehydration videlicet salivation
from accursed ***** deeds done dirt cheap
to be adumbrated within
subsequent sketchy
following lines of gibberish
possibly triggering favorable rapport
with thee dear reader to evolve.

How impasse and quagmire
of cumulative emotional, financial,
and spiritual tsuris
bogged me down courtesy
the swamp thing
(near to the point of emotional, mental
and physical suffocation)
would necessitate an acquaintanceship
to be established analogous
to purchase computer
components at best buy
which assemblage
of functioning moon units game plan
for this moderately agitated guy,
(which psychic state exemplified
via frenetic and jangling prose)
and impossible mission
to attempt a summarization
of once dire dilemma
back some years from the here and now.

So many issues assaulted
and beat down upon this ordinary specie
of **** Sapiens severely
undermined capability to enjoy existence.

Okay, I will try to isolate each strand
of one mishmash tapestry,
which tight weave of duress
worn like some tattered
uncomfortable trojan made
ribbed miniature overcoat.

Unsure if ye might perceive
yours truly (the writer of these words)
as did the missus consider me a "good" catch
perhaps the reply might be to go fish or fetch
p'raps calling me nuttin - just an ole letch
butta hope not to make a ya retch
this unknown older laddie
nada a suite executive by any stretch
more so a bumbling wretch.

This dollop of gobbledygook me level best
to offer a virtual brightened
and enameled then
(at time of crafting these words
gap toothed smile revealed remaining
few teeth - think
jack o lantern, now yours truly
sports full set of dentures)
after periodontal disease bacteria did infest
and whittled away jaw bones,
thus neither false pearly whites
nor misshapen physique representative
hardly the imprimatur
of a gentleman quarterly
magazine model beau geste
as you can deduce,
I like to write for fun and jest,
which some find to be a fossilized pest
and in my mind I let flit
fantasies for some ****** quest
followed by a blissful rest
once confirming my tool
passes the electric kool acid battery test,
thence prayerfully hope to regale
in such physical closeness
with zeal and zest.

We could (in our respective wet dreams)
possibly find ourselves
walking down that wedding aisle,
no matter we rank
as utter and complete strangers
and ye may misperceive me
as some old decrepit human crocodile
making a proposition to pledge our troth
when we never met
yet...the fickle finger of fate works
in a most awesome and unpredictable ways,
but please no need to feel obliged
to give a number for me to dial
unless...comfort and ease arises
to go that extra green day mile
per responding to this older mwm
with a poetic and prosaic penchant
swiftly taylored and harried styled.

So...if offered salvation of eternal life
against condemnation imposed since birth
per mortality vis a vis unfair fate so cruel
this plain speaking male suffered prepubescent
emotion null budding nipped,
and fully flowered anorexic loosestrife
would be game to allow, enable, and provide
the grim reaper
to take monopoly of mein kampf
and to take a chance well worth
and take at least one sip
from fountain of youth and duel
with divine creator a greater match
than my darling wife,
who did not deserve just desserts
administered, doled, heaved out to her
as undeserved mistreatment.

No emerald, ruby sapphire nor flash in the pan
could ever sway me away from living a short span
that would allow and offer at least a millennium
I know such a garden of eden
solely in thy imagination of this ordinary man.

I, (an articulative, contemplative,
non manipulative and speculative
married celibate, friendly,
circumspective, introspective, respective
barbarian Neanderthal, disestablishmentarian,
latitudinarian, proletarian, sexagenarian,
solitudinarian, utilitarian,
and Unitarian married male)
try to make crystal clear
my unswerving, and unvarying pursuit
for life, liberty and a platonic relationship
with acceptable, affable, amiable, available,
bankable, cherishable, compassionable, creditable
demonstrable, endurable, enjoyable, equitable
fashionable, favorable, formidable, honourable,
impregnable, indomitable, ineradicable, inimitable
for starters general type of women agreeable to me.

I hate to entertain lofty delusions
or illusions of glandular grandeur
but one night stands never appealed
to this above average, boyish looking individual,
even when I lived far from the madding crowd
as a Norwegian bachelor farmer in Lake Woebegone.

Living social in pseudo wedded bliss,
those tempestuous altercations I do not miss.

I know from personal experience
the foolhardiness of
courting, flirting, honeymooning...
worse case scenario,
particularly when just a wee lad,
yours truly internalized
unfamiliar ****** aches and pains
as a death sentence,
slept with one eye opened
against nightmarish fiends birthed

courtesy overactive imagination
and subsequently did buzzfeed
crowded house of mind
ranking as capital one pet peeve
that festered and kickstarted
linkedin deplorable mental outlook,
which anguish expended
emotional exhaustion all for naught
and only later in life
more lackadaisical toward mortality.

All things considered
regarding working myself into a lather
chomping at the bit of uncertainty
(while simultaneously nibbling
on freshly baked powder milk biscuits)
prompts me to assuage agitation
brewing inside the bowels of your being
while awaiting results from ct scan.

Take sage advice courtesy your brother,
who thyme after thyme
felt his lovely bones wracked,
whereby said secular humanist
named Matthew Scott Harris
able, eager, ready and willing
to draft his last will and testament
bequeathing my anxiety riddled
body, mind and spirit to science.

Impossible mission
to modify your behavior,
and even major ordeal
to modify destructive thought processes
that kamikaze nose dive within me noggin,
yet ascribe, credit, and praise
prescription medication to ameliorate
and remedy debilitating panic attacks,
whereby I was wont to languish
with physiological symptoms
such as: adrenaline rush,
irritable bowel symptom,
nausea, racing heart,
sweaty palms, and vertigo.

Thus, quite thee Herculean task
(shrugged off by Atlas)
to change long
entrenched thinking patterns
even ones qualifying
as affecting traumatizing detriment
of holistic schema,
as iterated with
aforementioned poetic versatility,
and a strong accompanying suggestion
with absolute zero coins

painfully extracted out piggy bank
to direct attention on the here and now
since more likely than not
any dreadfully projected fear
(the most frightful being
strong aversion to die)
couched as mine prediction
of fat and/or slim likelihood
to occur, and the best measure
offered free of charge
to stave off being

linkedin née cruelly enslaved
to quiet riot of torturously wicked
wrenching, leveling and jack-hammering
sixty plus shades of gray matter;
as a side note above benign crisis
common denominator among
Norwegian bachelor farmers,
who dwell in Lake Woebegone
best surrender to
webbed, whirled and wide
cosmic consciousness
and experience manumission.

Sincerely yours,
erstwhile, juvenile, and servile
Alfred E. Neuman

and let the youngbloods take the reins
infusing our promised land with hope.

You done good for America,
serving as laudatory President
from 2020 to the present
Vice President from 2009 to 2017,
and in the United States Senate
from 1973 until 2009.

The nation teeters on the brink of chaos
legions of legendary nasty
and not so shortish belligerent brutes
aping capering, galloping,
hollering on their figurative high horses
egging, fomenting, instigating,
jimmying, kick/jumpstarting, kindling tinder
activating spark to explode in a reign of terror
decking the hallowed halls with blitzkrieg
videre licet philanthropic donations

courtesy gazillion billionaires
from Wall Street to Silicon Valley
trumpeting their Republican choice
cymbal eyes zing, drumming,
fluting with sax and violins,
whether former president number forty five
loses or clinches what promises
to be a hotly contested election
Tuesday, November 5, 2024
marking the end of the world as we know.

Though no bleeding heart liberal
yours truly vouchsafes
being die hard landlubber
ardently embracing social progressivism
chalked up to a Unitarian upbringing
and parents who would not tolerate
a conservative proponent
of any right wing controversial issues -
just kidding, but in retrospect

a heavily skewed leftist tack
did not disallow opportunities
to spar with intelligent repartee
particularly with father -
Boyce Brandon Harris,
a strongly (read dominantly) opinionated
Democrat, whose willfully voiced notions
set the precedent concerning
what side of an issue would be acceptable.

He passed away October 7th 2020
and would be appalled at current political events
besetting the United States of America
and may even possibly take pen to paper
to sketch an intelligent blurb, drawing,
funny highly jaded literary novelty,
applauding your storied achievements.

Quite frightening the strong lurch toward autocracy,
great probability linkedin to ruthless demagogue,
a machiavellian agent provocateur
one foo fighting beastie boy barbarian, and totalitarian
dead set to eradicate closest approximation
of egalitarian and humanitarian realization
witnessed with starts and fits of enlightenment
and inexcusable decimation,
humiliation, liquidation, and pacification
of peoples dissimilar to ancestors,

who came to Turtle Island
(a name for Earth or North America,
used by some American Indigenous peoples,
as well as by some Indigenous rights activists)
from northern Europe, especially England,
and who were formerly considered
to have a lot of power and influence
nevertheless wrought a continent
associated with the land of the free,
and the home of the brave

serving as a beacon for possibility of lofty ideals
to attain salutary manifestation within the realm
spanning from the mountains to the prairies
to the oceans white with foam
encompassing diverse topography
from sea to shining sea
spurred courtesy ignominious manifest destiny
nevertheless anchored by
Constitution of the United States
a cherished living and breathing document.

In April 2023, the Heritage Foundation
published the 920-page Mandate,
written by hundreds of conservatives,
most prominently former Trump administration officials.

After I read excerpts of Project 2025,
courtesy news worthy publications
such as Mother Jones, The Nation,
The Week, and TIME Magazine
my intimation jump/kick started
to make a general conclusion
that said tome of a door stopper
cast dark foreboding shadows
hinting the outer limits
of many important legislative milestones

promulgated for the benefit of society,
especially post American Civil War
granted then revolutionary smart
transformations from isolationist
essentially incorporating xenophobia into  
broad-mindedness suddenly
on the figurative chopping
if former president Trump  
garners the majority of votes,
whereby he would set in motion

looming monstrous nightmare outlined
in above titled manifesto
would spell gloom and doom
not only across the contiguous United States,
plus Alaska, but affect
western civilization in general
resurrecting the ghost of despotism
eviscerating the guts of the unique experiment
in government courtesy founding fathers
(though no doubt significant women

played an important role
helping to bring into fruition
mandates and female dates
resulting in our raison d'être
to pursue vocations to allow, enable, and provide
free market enterprise an economy
where the market determines prices,
products, and services rather than the government.
Free enterprise focuses on the private sector,
private investment, private risk taking,
private innovation, etc.

Laissez faire represents the other side of the coin,
the absence of government interference
in the private sector, especially in matters
of trade-policy (the historical origin of the term).

Don we now our gay apparel
despite knowing lives
(within definition of rainbow person,
where individual considers themselves
within LGBTQIA2S umbrella group)
suddenly prideful freedom of expression
imperils their very existence
during repressive Trumpian regime,
which would forever hashtag me
(not necessarily linkedin as identifying
with aforementioned acronym,
but merely expressing solidarity)
with those whose existence defies categorization
no matter passive and not violent modus operandi,
nevertheless yours truly automatically associated
as one among dangerous agents provocateur,
(the pen or rather keyboard
more powerful and mightier
against thugs than the sword),
where demagogue(s) would gloat
over purging one harmless
equalitarian, latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian,
sexagenarian, and Unitarian
falsely indicted on ******* up machinations,
would decree (if given free reign)
to issue death by most brutal short
nasty, and heinous means
against supposed poisonous free expression
with absolute zero chance of posthumous acclaim.  

I now imagine as the figurative guillotine
propelled at lightspeed
intent to lop off the talking head(s)
sharing figurative body electric
instantaneously reducing to silence
as the TomTom Club beats louder
signaling immediate decapitation
mien average nondescript means
elatedly being trumpeted as stark example
in an autocratic attempt to bid au revoir
to the likes of Matthew Scott Harris
oh perilous death of freedom
courtesy opprobrious and machiavellian edicts.

Since pledging my troth
to the missus July 25th, 1996
after the common era
never in my wildest dreams
would the end of the world
as we know or remember
punctuate mein kampf,
and that of almost every **** sapiens
with global disequilibrium, and discombobulation

Ever since the notions
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
coalesced within the mindscape
attributed to one
or more anonymous forebears
way before the advent of civilization
when written language preserved
(**** sapiens communicated
virtual primal groans and grunts),
nevertheless witnessing inchoate awakening
visa vis discover ring dawning enlightenment
bajillions of years after
earth, wind and fire
affected ideal environment
for Beatle browed foo fighters
Nirvana oriented proto humans
among rival capital one group
of beastie boys versus another.

Each subsequent generation embodied
propensity to acquire heavenly delight
characterized courtesy
storied primeval human associations
to wrestle with promotion
of mental, physical and spiritual autonomy.

Once self-determination awoke
animal hides did cloak
daggers if antagonism occurred
especially as high society
coaxed fibers inviting village people
to invent legislation to evoke
amity particularly once firearms
witnessed proliferation of gunsmoke
(and the Western genre as film noir)
after shoot-'em-ups erupted,
when scapegoat mustered courage
(after chomping powder milk biscuits)
bad to the bone bully underestimated chutzpah
courtesy said shy person,
yours truly did invoke
adulation and garnered
within figurative keystroke
generated winning vote
cast strictly by menfolk
if I vouchsafed would
NOT be pig in a poke
as happened countless millenniums later,
when forty fifth president
of lands slated to become de facto despot
across United States of America
would try to revoke
his successor mudslinging him,
(the latter, a common joe biden time),
a veritable teetotaler,
who swore, he rarely took a ****.

Blame aforementioned  conveniently shifted
upon blue collar Scranton
common Joe biden his time yup
blimey bloke never woke up
until after leaving Oval Office
glad to wipe his figurative hands
as vice president to Barack Obama
after November 8, 2016,
when Trump elected to his first term
as President, defeating former First Lady
and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
subsequently inaugurated as 45th President
of the United States on January 20, 2017.

An interregnum of eerie and relative calm
descended from sea to shining sea
before lights, camera, action.

Cue Project 2025 in full swing
after overstuffed bombastic, caustic,
egocentric, fascistic, hypernationalistic, irrationalistic  
and narcissistic ego freezer
exerted usurpation upon body electric of Uncle Sam
early one January morning
bright eyed and bushy tailed
after a months long stint,
barnstorming across the United States,
whereby the electorate majority
approved former forty fifth occupant again
of “Executive Mansion”
(intending to rule analogous
to Iron Maiden circa 2024 - ?)
admitting his admirably
hand picked administration
donned hat of ruthless dictator wannabe
exhibiting word spelled like elan,
but substitute “o” in place of letter “a”
bragging about earning a living wage
and taking page from playbook of richest Bro,
who brought good humor and laughter,
where tragedy wrought woe
visited webbed wired wide world
(once trod upon by the noble savage
as described by Jean-Jacques Rousseau)
whipping out trademark Dobro,
(a contraction of "Dopyera brothers"
and a word meaning "goodness"
in their native Slovak,
who introduced said instrument in 1928)
kickass nimble though pudgy septuagenarian
(accompanied by the band
Tripping Up Stairs)
performed outstanding show
capering, dancing, gliding,
high jumping, et cetera across the stage
hither and yon, to and fro
contagiously gifting, letting riotous hoopla
ring out across Land of Lake Wobegon
spontaneously kickstarting
audience of senior citizens
(including yours truly)
to shuck off mantle of senescence
and clothes in the same process
after gaining courage
to join Barenaked Ladies
hooting and trumpeting nouveau
playfulness summoning
rebirth of childlike spirit.

How carefree and ideal to identify
with mindset of Alfred E Neuman
Mad Magazine what me worry
unfortunately as a little boy
yours truly beset with mental health issues
Anorexia Nervosa the most serious
potential to develop healthily
self starvation eradicated
courtesy the expertise of psychiatrist
Ted Goldberg my parents did employ
subsequently eating disorder
manifested as hair obsession
with a vengeance,
when maybe some dozen years later
while completing a co-op
linkedin to enrollment at Antioch College
at facility I chose called
Chicago Ecology Resource Center in Illinois,
and who should make
a small teleporting cameo appearance,
but none other than Leonard Nimoy,
albeit his likeness manufactured as plastic
popular gewgaw enterprising toy.

Courtesy the most flimsy tenuous
designs linkedin to above lines
availed and linkedin thru
Unitarian Church affiliation while a youth,
(now negligible participant,
who would never join any group
that would accept me as a member)
an important connection throve with 1976
Norristown Area High School alum
Frankie Augustine Junior a brain,
plus admirable ruler
of tribbles and klingons to boot.

As an otherworldly webbed wordsmith,
I befriended said lad,
who became best earthling chum,
whose birthday (January eleventh
nineteen fifty nine) two days before mine,
our camaraderie did rattle and hum
until he attended Rensselaer
Polytechnic Institute (majoring
in nuclear engineering)
landing himself a plum job.

Our friendship since foundered
unlike the enterprising television show,
which captured the imaginations
of countless young and older people alike.

By 1986, 17 years after entering syndication,
Star Trek considered
the most popular syndicated series;
by 1987, Paramount made $1 million
from each episode;
and by 1994, the reruns
still aired in 94% of the United States.

born January 13th, mcmlix
under Capricorn sign.

With my scrunched  
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder precise circumstances
that linkedin yours truly to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar
to sowing seed of corn

ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –
whether one celled entity

or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for able pledge marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in distant past
rendering me absent,
and hence unable to utter wow
evincing expression care worn.

At what crap shoot of circumstances
wrought Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and world wide web
or follow threads back in time,
albeit not more than
a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed Eastern European swath
in general finding thyself to rhyme
for no reason,  just as other creatures
great or small occupy themselves with glee

or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury  
how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monkey,
whereby harsh ill fate
tempts them into life of crime,
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree
begat courtesy making whoopie.

A genealogical limb
branching off way back
when back in the day
glorious personalities
populated genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere o'er the rainbow
along Yellow Brick Road way
setting stage for rags when
once August ancestry buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present woes or even pray
to win lottery turning attention
to how like our ancestral gingko

or Geiko gekko newt
dwelling in rich primordial
egg drop soup
wantonly in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
trumpeting horns heard
signaling Santa Claus
in his trademark red suit
on land to assay.

Punctuated equilibrium
first proposed by
and Niles Eldredge in 1972
gave rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
this one speck of flotsam
in particular owned
a passion for contra dance,
whereby others from massive beasts
to microscopic organisms
scurry hither and yon to and fro
essentially to be alive for lifetime,
nevertheless a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance
to self taught amazing uncles and aunts.

no matter whether or not ya give a hoot

especially after feeling super charged
watching the second night of
Democratic National Convention conclave
ushering a hint of "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

Men and women are born and remain free and equal in rights. Social distinctions may be founded only upon the common good.

Article 1 of the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen (‘Déclaration des Droits de l’Homme et du Citoyen’)

Yours truly (a poker face)
exceptionally shy person
as a little boy who maintained an
inscrutable impassive expression
that hid my true feelings
similar to an adept card "Sharp" and "shark"
born this way nocturnal chronotype.

I dusk cover tenebrous dark shadows
creeping closer along the edge of night
punctuating the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where something mist tickle
and magical happens
after the stroke of midnight
during the wee hours of a dawning day.

When morning hath broken
tis time to prepare tea for the tillerman
fifty plus shades of gray matter
in mine noggin o' mine feels askew
eyes wanna remain shut tight
add teared with super glue
bookmarking, dawning, and foisting
wispy tendrils o' daylight curlicue
wing analogous to fragrant
aroma of barbecue

said quotidian wake up calls
could not gently assuage, bestir,
boot cannot command.com, i.o.sys,
nor msdos.sys me
to arouse yours truly anew
without fail generated
abort, retry, and fail
thus deadened to
world wide web, I continued
to remain dead,

albeit "FAKE" robbed zombie,
this inability to evince being
bright eyed and bushy tailed
not always true
cuz, I remember myself as
precious, hilarious, rambunctious... kid shew
wing vital signs of life easily
confused for screeching bat that flew
out the portals of Hellenistic Hades
wolfing down breakfast of champions,

cereal, and then bidding cheery adieu
to mother (during her
prime mate ting years)
dashing off (with two
twisted sisters in tow)
to board school bus,
while said vehicle still in moe
shun, bobbing up and down,
(no app pell Le Cajun needed)
excited to mingle amidst peers,

especially Joe King
even when afflicted with Dengue
Fever, a slight setback
eagerly awaiting new
learning would ensue
maintaining enthusiastic countenance
never showing moue
handy dandy dee moody blue
affectation, yet buzzfeeding thru
one grade after another with flying colors

well..., not quite
straight exemplary A's, B's, nor C's
mine doting parents never made overissue
regarding grades (mine hew
wing, trending Xing past
beginning of ABC – alphabet)
nonetheless promoted,
cuz momma and poppa did eschew
the punishing impact,
wrought courtesy repeated grade

thus hopping, skipping,
and jumping kangaroo
simultaneously reed dully
playing invisible didgeridoo
until BAM, arising chipper as a lark
became futile effort this yahoo
suddenly feeling hijacked,
lowjacked, whacked... numbskull
metaphorically within by bamboo,
nope remaining like ****** temple pilot

doggone catatonic dunderhead *****
loose wooden demeanor,
when at some juncture switcheroo
inside this body dielectric fleshy hue
man, whereby he dozed off
until...four after midnight, (or thereabouts)
invariably entranced by practitioner of voodoo
hok kood also tame a shrew
wild horses couldn't drag me out of bed
(been there... done that) even a slew

of feral ponies quasi native -
all muscle and sinew
to Chincoteague, and/
or Assateague Islands,
thus resigned myself maximizing energy
particularly after using water loo
when hunger pains drove acute
ability with absolute zero effort
yes believe me you
such hyperawareness came to rescue
writer's block - whew!

Unbeknownst to this unsuspecting witty mortal,
a reverberation attributed to butterfly effect
linkedin to hotmail twittering Facebook member,
who resides within Bhutan, his dignified volition
accorded me magnanimity titled sage without any

influential collusion from Russians bestowed yours
truly with said honorably distinguished appellation,
which humility of mine humbly accepted without a
protestation, though never would I brazenly adopt
spiritual holiness, yet flattered to share such rare

pronouncements, when unsolicited feedback lobbed
in my direction (way before advent of Information
Technology Revolution) often tendered, kindled, and
belittled this gentle human, sans when bullies slung
byte ting bit torrent loathsome scandalous red zingers

targeting personal vulnerabilities, asper being under
socially withdrawn, painfully shy, plagued with speech
impediment (severe nasality) caused by submucous
cleft client, plus weighing where needle budged from
absolute zero pounds, topped with passive demeanor

susceptibilities conveniently converging to establish
this bruised Earthling ideal choice as scapegoat, no
kidding with dread to endure endless days, weeks,
months...a lifetime channel of opprobrious, noxious,
malicious emotionally demonic, cannibalistic, barbaric

abominable, damnable, horrible diatribes chipping
(dale lee) at what measly self confidence shielded
fragile psyche fast crumbling into grist for hungry
caterpillar, unbeknownst that flight path randomly

followed by a representative of Lepidoptera order,
would ineluctably set very subtly infinitesimal
fluctuations within air (currently supplying biota
with requisite oxygen), also training perturbation.

Patience Young Grasshopper mine alter ego spoke
when yours truly figuratively chomping at the bit
more accurately fretting with anxiousness when
boyhood body of mine underwent metamorphosis
impossible mission to thwart biological transformation.

also known as
noteworthy Trader Joe's patrons
bass sic lee did treble themselves
conducting taping jam session
assembling (boxing), compiling,
and hermetically sealing tight as a drum so,
a razor sharp machete blade got dull
trying to open in vain said holiday cheer
of awesome delicious goodies,
(especially the yummy

stuffed vine leaves with rice),
which holiday care package
received without fanfare
for this common man,
whose younger sister
(vibrant as Appalachian Spring),
nevertheless wiser sibling
Shari Harris-Dunning
a **** (hard) at work
tantalizing, teasing, titillating
as a lead wrapper from home grown

organic foodstuffs, she and her bandmates
helped fit perfectly, meticulously,
and snugly together
analogous to outsize constituent components
of intricate jumbo puzzle pieces
amazingly, mathematically,
and thematically linkedin
bearing gifts subsequently mailed
(courtesy the United States Postal Service)
from Bend, Oregon
to Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Lemme amplify how creative, innovative,
and opinionative yours truly (me)
a humble wordsmith,
who exhibits his freestyle trademark
Scottish matted style avante-garde,
one run of the mill (by the Floss) bard
wannabe wants to rave about your card,
he presumes unbridled
posthumous fame will ensue
after his lovely bones disintegrate
courtesy cremation, which cremains
symbolically distributed across

all four points across the globe,
cuz the earth will solely serve him
as eternal terrestrial graveyard
ashes repurposed hard
to believe buzzfeeding, jump/
kick starting seeds of life
and white lily obliterating ill-starred
legacy which afflicted one mortal
named Matthew Scott Harris,
whose chronic assault
with mental health issues
undermined realizing his potential.

Into the void of cosmic oblivion
eventually goeth as masterly cell bait,
the once unique human
(cited above) as scripted inevitable fate
of all creatures great and small
death promises to liberate
uniting one garden variety,
and generic soul
linkedin among Spiritus Mundi
a never ending tête-à-tête.

Yours truly not necessarily
romantic fellow at heart
more accurately methinks myself
lame and inadequate sorry excuse
for reasonably rhyming spouse,
but courtesy after sipping

(née - chugging away
like snorting caboose)
Welch's sparkling white grape juice
maybe accompanied with entree couscous
generic and garden variety
run of the mill by the floss husband
ordinarily fancy free and footloose

feigned being inebriated
noisily squawking - imitating
deafening honking lunging goose
creating ruckus whereby resultant outcome
whereby wife playfully threatened me
to hang me (all choking aside) with noose,

(I needed to gibbet a chance)
as ye can accurately dead deuce
nearly turning unnatural shade of chartreuse,
thus I immediately called truce
after hiring team of animated experts
Rocky the squirrel
and Bullwinkle the moose.

Once upon a time I
bouncing up and down
analogous to yoyo
rode proud on his high horse whoa
considered himself, albeit kiddingly

as pure as the driven though
fell prey to basic proto
human barking animal propensity
desire under the Elm you know
all to well that biological urge

goading species to reproduce
when consummated minus
utilization of prophylactics
to aid and abet begetting embryo
unborn or unhatched offspring
in process of development,
particularly human offspring during
period from approximately
second to eighth week after fertilization
(subsequently termed a fetus).

Back in the day
gathering rosebuds while I may
thy pure motive to lay
me down with barenaked lady
futile (yet Prince Valiant) attempt
to placate seething hormonal secretion
surging testosterone seemingly went away
(I strongly suspect absent libinal longing)
bodes ill with spouse
marriage doth severely fray.

offered, husbanded, and collected
when winning solitaire
Nothing beats that exaltant rush of adrenaline
watching the computer generated cards
automatically routed
to their respective suite (spot)
(after they get turned face value up)
generates countenance to evince a grin.

This heart felt diamond in the rough
gamboling ace of a man
learned to call a ***** a *****
soon after joining the culture club.

Within an alternate universe
another Matthew Scott Harris
destiny manifested beckoned uber lyft,
his militant doppelganger
(created entirely of antimatter
since birth of universe)
decked out in camouflage fatigues,
dead set on collision course
to annihilate each other
if and/or when we inevitably meet.

No place exists for yours truly
to run and hide
especially hermetically sealing
(while waxing poetic) himself
with booking selfsame mortal
within a read (reed) out hideaway,
hence impossible mission
to ward off sealed fate

lest (markedly) both of us
(even if reaching out
to bridge reconciliation)
blown to smithereens
methinks I and mine nemesis
would be wiped out
(cue the Surfaris song titled wipe out)
as if Thanos snapped.

The aforementioned scenario
far more horrifying than
livingsocial within human zoo
where **** sapiens primates,
an aggregate of many
a cruel genealogical yahoo
outliers rowdy unlearned without xue,
an essential constituent
of the body electric kool aid acid test
******* who spout colorful retorts
analogous to up the *****,

but much more explicit,
therefore audiological
viewer discretion advised
unless one feels confident
to cast a magic spell using voodoo
ideally invoking debilitating, horrifying,
lustrating newt trill eye zing
permanent state of danger
or threat accursed
trumpeting lout can never undo
especially when joker is wild

whereat apparatus tricked out
fastening pollexes courtesy thumbscrews
perchance re-evaluating my person
when crafting image
conveying torturous schlock
after ye did pleasantly review
other writings of mine that did skews
toward humanitarian connectedness
painstakingly minding my peas and queues
wracking my brain
regarding creativity to peruse.

Schwenksville scribe set himself task
re: expresses glad tiding
forthwith for public views
in consonant with figurative
elbow grease did use
yielded nothing but rave reviews
as attested courtesy
eager disbelievers waiting in long queues
could hardly contain myself
regarding said stellar news,
and call English language as mine muse
to communicate pleasant reception

courtesy gentile management
none of whom call themselves Jews
pleasant surprise, when
regional property manager Pam Floreen,
gushed effusively commenting accolades,
exuding positive unsolicited feedback
(such praise forthcoming never experienced
since yours truly and the missus
inhabited one bedroom apartment B44;
July 1st marks sixth anniversary;
here at Highland Manor)
aforementioned feedback imbues

me with giddiness and relief
versus one experience
when Lisa Varley Wacker
(rounded out management team
after getting hired February 1st, 2023)
came down harsh as if her figurative fuse
got lit, cuz she severely
give us a dressing down,
I cannot excuse
inflicting an unpleasant psychic bruise
authoritarian power
I believe she did abuse.

Regular ongoing light maintenance
(cleaning refrigerator, mopping,
sweeping, vacuuming, et cetera) I write
helps tamps down anticipatory anxiety
most frequently decreasing after twilight
when on site management
leave for the day
a quiet state of mind quite
not readily apparent
to any casual observer,

which panic stricken disposition
ofttimes pervaded
dreams of mind at night,
so essentially lingering after effects
of satisfactory inspection
finds me feeling high as a kite
carrying away to ecstasy
a baby boomer of average height
these honest to dog these words
hoop fully as truthful fanciful flight.

Me and the missus live in decent
sturdy accommodations (formerly
Schwenksville Elementary School
ofttimes referred to as prison,
and manager as the de facto warden),
albeit not so shabby nor chic low income
quite modest (rather unmatchable cost wise)  
low slung building we rent,
for mere dime a dozen
pennies on the dollar,
which facility lacks no shortage

of gossip mongers
with mail delivery major event
whereby many old people smelling of unguent
housing faux superman
thumping flabby chests nsync
with hooking thumbs around
suspenders feigning to be affluent,
and self important as secret double agent
yeah, minus the countless snitches,
livingsocial buzzfeeding rumors
outside our one bedroom apartment

at Highland Manor ranks
as satisfactory ascent
to appease our taste,
and general environmental ambient
aspects compared to other
(mice and roach infested)
housing previous situations of ours
so, despite most every nosy, ancient
snooty, hoity toity...tenant,
particularly one butch,  
**** eyed louey, ****** accent

a perfect spectacle for circus big-tent
single bucked sharp front tooth
sparkles, mocks, glistens...
as if brushed with Pepsodent
of course displayed "FAKE"
seventh heaven-sent
friendliness, when poor us
being penniless with just tencent
copper piece experienced warm welcome
short time after moving here
(five plus years since July 1st 2022),

but demeanor thereafter went
postal stamping like the dickens
as if me an unrepentant
jokester, nonetheless yours truly minds
against hateful words adamant
lee averse to cast aspersions,
cuz a friendly gesture linkedin
preference to be cogent practicing
what this atheist doth silent
lee preach, sans attempt tubby tolerant
in the face of someone belligerent

attentive to credo, dogma, ethos
while alive in world be tolerant
of others, whether he/ she wuzzent
pleasant recalling days of yore,
I felt disgusted when hell-bent
to hurl expletives (adding insult to injury)
if  bad mouthed me, thus
object lesson not requiring fervent
fanatical religious fervor  
improving health of Clark Kent.

Wicked bad designed day poem originally crafted
then alternately titled
for no particular rhyme nor reason:
courtesy Doctor Donald Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia.

August thirteenth nineteen hundred
and ninety nine
forever etched in the annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising
shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details
occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like a fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.

Prior to the following awful events
that unfolded aforementioned day
somewhat solemn and gray
I did not consider myself unduly superstitious
nor prone to bouts of triskaidekaphobia/
paraskevidekatriaphobia  no how no way.

Yet that particular Friday
the thirteenth baptized me
in the ****** waters of superstition unequivocally
whence upon waking said particular morning
the search for funereal garb found me
burrowing into a small closet  
while bending on one knee,
and nonchalantly rummaging

for suitable article of clothing to wear
(per the wake/
sitting shiva of William Zison
the octogenarian father in law)
an unbeknownst ill fate
lurked just seconds away
ready to cap cha an innocent prey
as any unseen observer
and/or pet would agree.

Hands rifled and rustled
thru various and sundry
miscellaneous items in one or another box
mostly clothing and other apparel
draped in coat hangers
plus a precariously perched

heavy tin of yarn heavy as rocks
began to teeter from top ledge,
than made a slow inexorable descent
in direct path of thy crown
containing valued mental stocks.

The topmost part of thine skull
felt impact of sharp metallic rim
that left an indentation in soft part of scalp –
more’n an abrasive skim
and bent circular shape

of contrivance filled to the hilt
one law of physics pertaining
to falling object (taught to me)
acquires greater mass
accelerating with velocity and vim.

Upon reflexively yet tentatively
touching raw sore spot
fingertips revealed presence of warm liquid
soon coagulating into a pulpy gordian knot
from sharp lipped impact registering nausea
and vertigo quite a lot
hence sewing crafts managed to stitch
a tattooed laceration forming a ****** clot.

Body writhed with physical torment
as if being only partially alive
whereby waves of blacking
or passing out found me swooning
ready to take a swan dive
nonetheless from Schwenksville
to Penn Valley, I did
(by divine grace) safely drive
whence family members and relatives
once destination reached, the motley crue
began organized car pool arrangements
per heading off to the cemetery,

which caravan formation  
similar to a human bee hive,
yours truly declined to go
communicating persistent distress from mishap
I bowed wowed out, stayed home
and kept company with a dog
(purportedly man’s best friend)
(said pet belonging to a friend
of eldest sister in law),
whose open palmed overtures
of mine did not jive.

An impulse found fingers reaching out
to stroke this unfamiliar animal
supposedly man’s best friend
only to find sharp teeth from canine jaw
clamped down ******* hand
which second ****** injury,
I did immediately tend
while bolts of white hot pain
shot thru lower extremity of palm
radiated upward through forearm
into shoulder did wend.

Hour hands of o'clock get set back
sixty minutes gaining extra hour of Autumn
round about this same day of November
every year, what a ***
er, and inconvenient truth diverged
from this wayfaring chum
purposelessly manipulating a hold
over sans yesteryear
(first implemented in United States
with Standard Time Act of 1918,

a wartime measure for seven months
during World War I in the interest
of adding more daylight hours
to conserve energy resources)
doth rat a tat tat drum
a plain sensation of jet lag
(with earthling in the balance)
as if flying backwards
within Herbert George Wells
celebrated time machine

at warp speed from
this station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling ticked off and glum
in no mood to rhyme, nor be funny,
cuz I recall experiencing
exactly lxii previous instances
being forced to spring ahead,
when countless months before viz
Sunday March 13, 2022 at 2:00 AM

one twenty fourth of said day
surrendered to Father Time
finding yours truly juiced barely equipped
to cope mentally, physically,
and spiritually whipsawed tantamount
with impossible mission
to get smart and gather scattered wits
sun tide, and express mood as *** hum
analogous to coals (essence)
raked over me noggin

fortunate, this chronological
seismic shift nada wider I assume,
nevertheless mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics
comb pluck hated
brush against jangling
black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and
boring into quick
ribald sand trap doom

mining an inducement
for emergency convoy,
when pitched from
sea to figurative shining seagram
defunct company name brand
once the largest owner
of alcoholic beverage lines in the world
nsync with Johnnie Walker Scotch
quite the ginned tonic he brewed,
where live yik yak
(going tiktok) wired vanguard

trulia tried optimism to hum
a lively Irish air, cuz I
(Bailey) of Bailey Banks & Biddle
the crown jewel scion
scion of a wealthy family
swallowed down sorrow
regarding cremains of mother
her inert ashes boxed
for more'n an (eat turn) eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum
Chris Anne her namesake

bling bloviation, emasculation,
insinuation, nomination, termination
once worth matchless peerage,
now pitched numb
skull into morass
of temporary confusion, where plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart pilot ***
dire straits found motley crue bickering
where Lilliputians slum

bring wherein Gulliver's Travels
landed me upon islets of langerhans
(endocrine cells scattered
throughout the pancreas)
defiantly, ham-handedly, liberally thumb
ming nose, where body, mind & soul
weeknd viz a bully did cower,
hence mister clock,
who got hijacked to Cuba
3600 seconds per hour

experienced head, thorax
and abdomen diminishing in power
wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes of wrath imposing
ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
quickly resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis
space/time continuum did devour.

Black hole (sun) event horizon indeed
kept lock step as das joint mill hoard
Sucker punched the band wagon
of father time, whose riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic fractional second bored
pesky quirky shenanigans
toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.

I trumpet the withdrawal
of democratic contender from out the presidential race.

Breaking headline news story
courtesy rumor monger premieres
showcasing emphatic groundswell
against feeble minded incumbent.

Extraordinary turn of current events
immediately enlivens the United States populace
injecting much needed lively discussion
about gerontocracy deliberating for the electorate.

Though ill suited for any storied role in American government
yours truly (a sexagenarian) could vouchsafe for entrusting the
beleaguered state of the union in the hands of a qualified female
or male candidate born within Generation X Born 1965–1980.

Upon growing national groundswell of alarm
agonizing, capitalizing, eulogizing, galvanizing,
initializing, jeopardizing, polarizing...
voters (née namely citizens) of United States
plus capital one, buzzfeeding learned folks
linkedin courtesy webbed wide world,
an earthshaking crisis emboldens an erstwhile
average joe (biden his time) suddenly
chose to loose his humble opinion
across the Internet to affect

an immediate emergency session
of government officials
to address inexorable lurch
toward absolute zero democracy,
which liaison of Democrats and Republicans
necessitates closed door session
to resolve and allay the shear madness
lurking within the outer limits
of the fast approaching twilight zone
where dark shadows

creep toward utter chaos,
cuz our country tis of thee
teeters on the brink of
the astute heads of state,
and even popular stars
in the limelight beseech, implore,
and knead the malleable consciences
of sensible sons and daughters
genealogically linkedin to storied personalities
fomenting the American Revolution.

Outright riots promise to spill blood
and sacrifice the lives
of at least one anonymous worthy wordsmith,
(who might possibly
be an English Major incarnate)
in tandem with militant posses submerging
the land of the free
and home of the brave into anarchy
already terroristic subterfuge

rallies quintessential pronouncement
hinting quacking ducks lined in a row
where progostigation of dystopian future
impossible mission to detail
a scenario one cannot even conjure
from an overactive imagination
such as mine flirtation
with the Brave New World
already reflecting the absence of freedoms.

Not much effort required
to hypothesize severe limitations
and even harsh measures
taken against me for merely
sharing a what if scenario
barely even approximating
fallout from writing something
so passé as the following.
Haint no walk in the (Linkin) Park
(like back in the day
during the twenty fourth year
of the twenty first century),
I remember fondly as a sexagenarian -
shooting the breeze
on many a temperate
mid summer nights dream,
or later at four after midnight
nodding off to sleep
listening to deep sleep music

courtesy scouring youtube
then mostly free
from the electronic eyes of the government,
cuz soon sophisticated spyware -
linkedin with augmented/
virtual reality and microchips
incorporating sensors record
critical nodes' details traversed by each bit,
where computer hackers given free license
to explore weaknesses within system of the down.

Afterwards rigorously tested apps courtesy
south of the borders penned up
(think veritable sweatshop) preschoolers,
or applications put thru their paces
by kindergarteners similarly encaged
laboring with their collective cute button noses
to the grindstone sunup to sundown
exception made for little fingers reprieve
come holidays or birthday of product tester
prior to software being installed
on every machine sold for personal use) -
ultimately allowed (rather mandated)

by fiat and enabled a self declared autocrat
to obtain covert information
about another's computer activities
by transmitting data covertly from their hard drive -
espying websites visited
accumulating treasure trove of data -
possibly unwittingly hitting the bullseye
when subtly targeting and ingeniously
lampooning agent provocateur
cleverly communicating hidden messages
subsequently courtesy from said wiseacre.

As an indie alt rock'n
tribe beck ha rolling stone dishabille poet,
who views challenge of writing analogous
to begetting an heir or heiress,
which former includes
gestation of an emotion,
idea, sentiment,...unbeknownst
if outcome birthed to be fabulous
then however the whimsical notion spins
within thine cerebral centrifuge,
the imagination pregnant with fetus
of a fledgling concept feeling
with byte size sea legs,

not quite ready for prime time
and beak combs devious, industrious,
overconscientious (hopefully), victorious...
though, as swollen womb dar full expansive
lettered girth manifests and coalesces
into miniature Confucius
versatile Buddha baby
(unless unexpected contusions
render exertion aborted effort), the proud
pro-creator bounteous, glorious, riotous
which unexpected success inspires
brassy, ironic, steely wordsmith
to tackle another and fleeting thought
and sire by product with audacity.

Oft times the sacred seconds silenced
by stillness louder than "Big Ben"
ear splitting only to me - squirreled away
in this makeshift manorial man cave
the grateful dead foo fighters quiet, a riot
with audio logical sonic boom decibel -
asper water nymph sprung from fen
or when the quick brown
(sneaky, leery, and fiery) fox
jumps over the lazy dog
slips into the house,
where the yolk cull doth roost
long fostering mass squawking
of manifold egg on eyes zing hen.

the end result metamorphoses into
a totally tubular unforeseen jumble
of gibberish senseless wordy clump
aspiring to convey some essence of logic,
though best to take a furlough than persist
to interpret dump
of discordantly strung English bits,
which intractable insistence
might spell f-o-r-c-e-d g-r-u-m-p

as the mood one may find them-self,
unless he/she can call
the literary mod squad to resolve harrumph
and with any lucky the once amorphous lump
pen pro lit tarry hit might undergo
an amazing transformation a mugwump,
a cherished poem plump
with juicy fruit weighing down the boughs
as if limbs ready to slump.

While sprawled comfortably
numb upon davenport
Iowa daily dose of poetic mishmash,
thus yours truly couches, kneads, sports...
his imponderable matted
swiftly styled balderdash
noah intent to kindle
potential ark enemy, nor abash
please pardon your
garden variety philologos,
preparing himself for backlash
he spouts nonsense words
with chutzpah and brash
his logorrhea affliction begets
meaningless rot i.e. namely ishkabibble,
where scapegoated test dummies crash
inscrutably, dumbly, busily blankly
boxing, blinking, batting... eyelash
hijacking, flouting, disregarding... covenant,
not causing corpus callosum damage
basically self made edict equals hogwash,
within one North American banana republic
predicated upon fiat gnash
trumpets blatantly non subliminal,
subordinate, subtle... ** hum
messages cuz bosh to liberty we smash
with most popular refrain
"send her/him back" cash
hearing purported dispensable
deportee with swash-
buck killing bravado
marquee, where klieg lights
blindingly broadcast in a flash.

"FAKE" mania loosed doth stall
refugees, where desperation witnesses
land of milk and honey,
perhaps some heading to Broomall,
(the hometown of Danny Bonaduce -
famous as a child actor of the 1970s
on the TV sitcom The Partridge Family)
who if necessary crawl
escaping forced *** trafficking poverty,
persecution, violence... downfall,
viz puppet government
tricked out noble (no bull) border wall
configured as demilitarized zone
hostilility spewing noxious,
poisonous, venomous gall
courtesy commander in chief
who essentially hoops to forestall
his impeachment proceedings
bristling, ranting, scathing... twitter feeds
spewing bosh raining hatred filled squall
spouting jingoistic rhetoric
atop anointed hall
of the mountain king
eerily similar to Taj Mahal
firing expletive epithets
assenting military mandating withdrawal
loosing vicious police and/or junkyard dogs
declaring no exemption against marshall
(mathers not for slim shady)
law innocence absolute zero guard
as sharp teeth nsync with flesh maul
cue hideous sinister laughter
welcome to danse macabre ball!

I revisit rather than write from scratch
a poem crafted May twenty third
two thousand and twenty
since the following words apropos
and amply serve a duplicate purpose
of aforementioned title,
when yours truly enlisted
(before any consideration
arose to object
threading shower rings
thru scissor made cuts)
of makeshift shower curtain -

actually repurposed invisibility cloak
then yesterday March 24th, 2024,
therefore husbandly duty
found me swallowing
my pride and prejudice
with sense and sensibility
suffering permanent anatomical
disfigurement, nonetheless
maintaining marital bliss
at steep price despite more or less
musculoskeletal dislocation,
I eagerly, readily willingly confess.

Ideal for someone whose height
trends toward above average
unless you don't object tilting
head back in an effort to gauge
keeping noggin cocked
at ninety degree angle tempering rage.

Yours truly gifted with absolute zero
vertical advantage, hence
mine neck craned back imposing
unpleasant strain forcing gent's
head apropos regarding yours truly
futile attempt present instance.

Carotid arteries perfectly positioned
awaiting Jack Ripper's (imposter) knife
thus mine noodle (property
Matthew Scott) induced physical strife
discomfort courtesy directly
linkedin viz the ole hen pecking wife.

Without complaint, I dutifully accepted
challenge to affix curtain
(essentially meant to keep
shower water splashing bathroom floor)
unbeknownst that threading
a camel thru eye of needle sewing pin

Would be a cinch, but such
blessed lesson acquired thru hindsight
initial task assigned me appeared
straight forward until I saw light
bulbs blind me myopic orbs,
thus in addition to afore stated plight...

Husband material (me) sorely
tested to the max, no matter chore
hardly commenced, which
spurred mental note to refrain pointing
at cumulative mold accretion
heavily visible and unsightly eye sore.

Arch disadvantage, yours truly
not being impressive or particularly tall
and thought not to retrieve sturdy
furniture to boost reach heavenly pole
which plastic hooks suspended
plastic shower curtain over long haul.

Upon figuring out how drape like
appurtenance got held in place crick
would necessitate chiropractor
to realign permanently bent poise kick
started when initially troubleshooting
deceptively easy task, no quick

assignment, though obviously
fashioning plastic hook thru pre cut slot
became clear at expense unintentionally
breaking off "J" portion not
possible to avoid subsequently
uselessly rendered hook even if robot
programmed to complete mission,
yet all told poetically smarts & moxie I got.

Please accept lame attempt (minus
obvious sensibility) to comprehend
anybody who reads previous literary
endeavors considered virtual friend
unconditionally accepts trademark

swiftly tailored harried style I extend
utilizing all manner of quirkiness,
which moost likely spells mein legend
after I pass from temporal plain,
a posthumous johnny come lately bend

ding formalities of English language
writing, yet wondering what strictures
disallow experimenting with poetic genre,
though methinks literature intend
did (art in general) to eternally evolve

without deliberate intention to offend
any die hard who might call upon
men in white suits and briskly recommend
to the funny farm, where life made
more beautiful perchance receiving stipend.

Otherwise titled as: Thanksgiving
nothing more'n gobbledygook
we stuff ourselves with.

Mine suburban outpost
approximately thirty seven plus miles
southeast of where liberty bell marks
history upon cobblestone streets
where sounds of silence
from walking sticks barks
created from once hand carved
festooned relics tracing arabesque arcs.

Thru prevarication myths propagated
whereby story did suitably bend
the re-enactment whence
Colonial rule from Britain did end
thou much about  
the series of unfortunate events
leaving tattered fragments
of proud nations that n’er did mend
many an indigenous native did offend

with one after another broken promises
and lands stole under their feet -
a little mentioned holocaust did rend
initial establishment of these United States
where to date citizen bankers cater
to thee ole might dollar to spend
fueling capitalistic credo
prerequisite emptying wallet
as Capital One duty to tend.

Europeans from bygone
did deliberately foment war
fast forward from those
supposed discoverers of yore
who essentially blackmailed
innocent rightful occupants
which tapestry of their culture
aggressive invaders tore
deliberately feigning kindness
when within creature comforts
(such as blankets)

deadly diseases harbored spore
ravages sans invasions
left survivors destitute and poor
of fatal impact decimated
nearly every tribe
and their concomitant folklore
obliterating accidentally called Indians
with deliberate intent to vanquish nation
of red (non bullish) men as if thru a trap door
of cunning deceit loathing
the peaceful philosophy they did adore.

Sympathy doth arise
and heart-ache in sync
with all those plaintive cries
producing unstoppable tears of misery
streaming down creased blackened eyes
this from ploy to cement bond
(when convenient) with malicious guise
to force rightful heirs of this land

to cross their t's and dot i's
without choice dealt
hellacious bit torrent torment
******* up from countless lies
so tis with heavy cookies
and all American apple pies
this cyber poet tries
to come across as witty and wise.

Ever since landing
of that first christened boat
this sober fellow wishes
to add a rhyming footnote
re: to pay homage to those
deemed honorable,
and frequently we quote
an invitation nay strong command

go play act and cast
(come November months
divisible by four)
your presidential vote
to sustain hollow maxim
guaranteeing life, liberty and happiness
decreed from all those sacred documents
founding fathers wrote.

December 27th, 2023,
the missus pounded mine posterior
(she played paddywhack
on me blimey buttucks)
not only causing contusion,
but flaying percussive rumpus,
where the wild things are
found yours truly feeling
like a cross between a bongo drum
and a Ubangi
(also spelled Ubangui, Ubanghi, or Oubangui).

Meanwhile good n plenty
good vibrations
(cue the Beach Boys) resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking
give doggone husband reprieve
undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating fleshy derrière
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
once formerly cute palm pilot size *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest
against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything
(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye
lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom
(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, lacerated, and bruised.

After swatting *****
until backside a deep angry red,
she (the bride of
twenty seven and a half years)
turns me over and spanks the monkey.

I prefer to craft a poem
for no rhyme nor reason
expressing heartfelt pleasure
to our highly refined palate
versus presenting tasty, yummy
and zesty nutritious snacks
exuberant feedback courtesy Tik Tok.

Aside from harkening from Semitic stock
me and the missus
relish those (Katz) gluten free pastries
they give us the oomph to rock
and similar to powder milk biscuits
give us strength to do what needs to be done.

Though no intention to mock
popular Pop-Tarts
(stylized as pop•tarts),
an American brand of toaster pastries
produced and distributed by Kellanova
(formerly Kellogg's) since 1964,
which consist of a sweet filling
sealed inside two layers of thin,
rectangular pastry crust.

In 2006, Mrs Katz decided
to transform the world
of gluten free snacking
for her celiac children.

Eighteen years later,
she retains firm stronghold
courtesy word of mouth watering
salivating (videlicet) Pavlovian
salutary, masterly, hardy,
deliciously crafted wholesome food
clinching dominant market share
analogous to stronghold ala deadbolt lock,
a recipe distributors attempt
to steal by hook or crook,

yet unable to break down fortified doors
after they loudly knock
on one occasion
holding the bakers on their break hostage
pointing culinary harmless
imitation edible Glock,
nevertheless drawing attention
of media camera crews that flock
for breaking shipping news
that harbor standoff

with quasi narco traffickers,
intent to rebrand and sell
Katz TOASTER PASTRIES
as mucked up poor quality dogs treats,
where special op forces
heavily guard the dock
maintaining vigilance around the clock,
to prevent goods held as contrabands
and subject pastry chefs to intense torture
forcing unsung heros

to stay awake 24/7 blindfolded,
so as not to see miscreants,
where ingredients of goodies
sniffed, sifted, and scrutinized
by sophisticated chemical analysis,
and thus I now conclude
contrived fictitious poetic scenario
to share such helpful feedback
in a little ditty composed ad hoc
can boost sales for your company.

by: matthew scott harris

yesterday August 30th, 2022.

The following fictitious account
predicated upon words spilling
out me mouth before taking time
to think through how sarcastic remark
would affect primary listener.

Comments about marital matters
particularly ours (yours truly and wife)
uttered in earshot of the missus
in company of a fellow resident
who befriended us;
hours later, she gave me
a severe dressing down
in tandem with threatening
smacking mine gluteus maximus
(ultimatum never carried out)
viz yule eyes zing painful spanking
for uttering (even in jest)
unseemly unreasonable remark.

As iterated above,
she gave me a verbal lashing
unfurling unpleasant feedback
accompanied courtesy expressing
whooping ***** of her spouse,
which turned out as idle threat,
nevertheless verbalized black barbs
vicariously pounded mine posterior...
courtesy forced punishment
qua virtual reality
zealously, viciously, quickly...
causing actual percussive rumpus.

Meanwhile vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive,
but woody d'ya believe
drumming, and whipping hindquarters
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed dormant pecker
(no fallacy - property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy counterpart,
she ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking
undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, humiliating, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot buttocks,

now subjected simulated
heavy handed wallops
upon derrière, which cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest
against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
grammarian lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee figurative ball and chain
ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything
(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
felt comfortably numb.

Even a** hide from aforementioned scenario
the aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arose, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye
lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom
(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily bruised.

Unbeknownst to this unsuspecting witty mortal,
a reverberation attributed to butterfly effect
linkedin to hotmail twittering Facebook member,
who resides within Bhutan, his dignified volition
accorded me magnanimity titled sage without any

influential collusion from Russians bestowed yours
truly with said honorably distinguished appellation,
which humility of mine humbly accepted without a
protestation, though never would I brazenly adopt
spiritual holiness, yet flattered to share such rare

pronouncements, when unsolicited feedback lobbed
in my direction (way before advent of Information
Technology Revolution) often tendered, kindled, and
belittled this gentle human, sans when bullies slung
byte ting bit torrent loathsome scandalous red zingers

targeting personal vulnerabilities, asper being under
socially withdrawn, painfully shy, plagued with speech
impediment (severe nasality) caused by submucous
cleft client, plus weighing where needle budged from
absolute zero pounds, topped with passive demeanor

susceptibilities conveniently converging to establish
this bruised Earthling ideal choice as scapegoat, no
kidding with dread to endure endless days, weeks,
months...a lifetime channel of opprobrious, noxious,
malicious emotionally demonic, cannibalistic, barbaric

abominable, damnable, horrible diatribes chipping
(dale lee) at what measly self confidence shielded
fragile psyche fast crumbling into grist for hungry
caterpillar, unbeknownst that flight path randomly

followed by a representative of Lepidoptera order,
would ineluctably set very subtly infinitesimal
fluctuations within air (currently supplying biota
with requisite oxygen), also training perturbation.

Patience Young Grasshopper mine alter ego spoke
when yours truly figuratively chomping at the bit
more accurately fretting with anxiousness when
boyhood body of mine underwent metamorphosis
impossible mission to thwart biological transformation.

Courtesy of one or more tradesmen,
first Monday in September set aside
for employees able, eager, ready
and willing to acquire money
to marry groom or bride
climb the corporate ladder or
become an artisan, entrepreneur, technician
to side step getting rung, drafted
like an oxen plow, commandeered and chide
by management as insubordinate
till retirement or join kiln fields
once the music died

from plane over exertion, yet nonetheless
sweat of brow efforts praised I espied
searching me noggin brief history re:
aforesaid day, where barbecues fried
dispersed aromas recognizing efforts
of workers with quality control as guide
grievances against danger challenged
sense and sensibility stalwart did not hide
the shenanigans that took place inside
sense and sensibility
without prejudice nor pride

boardrooms in tandem with glories of
American made products from those
who put figurative nose to grindstone –
just common everyday Jane's and Joe’s
who weathered extreme temperatures,
whereby bodies froze
but thanks to those who battled elements
at large and snatched doze

birth of brute efforts eventually
earned reserved renowned
borne couple shy of
nineteenth century, whence sound
of industrial silence replaced with
parades where hoof beats did pound
burgeoning and bustling city streets
echoed along hardened ground
fealty to country soldered
with faith, federation union freedom
and job security did thence abound,

which holiday underwent
transformations as bustle
and hustle proved myth regarding
land of milk and honey –
from straining of muscle
whereby life, liberty and pursuit
of happiness less of physical tussle

set (thank you Masons and Dixons)
cornerstone to an invisible
complex edifice originally from New York
forgotten builders, farmers, machinists,
et cetera who laid groundwork
wrought by destruction
from Civil War largesse and pork
loosed from the bottle in
Antebellum South, when off flew cork
freeing a genie, which became rendered
supremely courtly poet, i.e. this former dork.

Ultrasound allowed, enabled
and provided obstetrician to zoom,
image courtesy sonogram
showing fledgling fetus,
thus we pledged our troth after spouses' womb
(approximately halfway
between her pregnancy) did balloon
******, wherein conception
delineated birth of eldest daughter,
and many a tomb
morrow later she resides in Oakland, California.

I attempt reasonable rhyme about...
oh happy yesteryear
when newly minted groom (me) wed bride
family in attendance cried
as Justice of Peace officiated as legal guide
extolling pregnancy of she who could not hide
figurative bun in the oven which matured inside
after two gametes fused and multiplied
countless times quickly birthing embryo
baby on the way nullified
application of premarital ***
and attendant use of contraceptives.

Clear out of the blue
thee wife asked me
opinion if wedded bliss between us
ha, how heretical to think otherwise
since romance long since flew
out the figurative window
impossible mission to feign significant other
analogous to brand new
alluring, beguiling, captivating... tchotchke.

All kibitizing aside, a requited love with zeal
I attest invisible spokes support unseen wheel
when turning sparking genuine care and concern
act as buffer against emotional hemorrhage
and received good housekeeping approval seal
more applicable to most recent
elapsed wedding day anniversaries
ex post facto after both daughters flew the coop
finding me reeling with empty nest syndrome,
whenever yours truly reviews mental newsreel,
now absence of offspring, akin
to psychological wound I did heal
no longer mourning natural course
of begetting progeny more readily
accepting their necessary autonomy doth appeal.

Though marriage devoid of physical intimacy wife
get along swimmingly, we exhibit less strife
than days of yore effulgence promulgated
to all readers unbeknownst to human life
form characterized by bloke,
whose words appeared across screen
exemplifying, embodying, and edifying
regarding beloved simian counterpart
bandying playfully sometimes
drubbing and drumming my body
while she (commandeering
certain orifices of her body)
emulates sounds of fife.

Equal copyrights we can both claim
renown impossible mission to envision
just the experience to become linkedin
with literary talents of another motive
couched within these lines I exclaim
no idea regarding the specifics
how to kickstart joint effort game
undoubtedly enterprising individuals
endeavor to pool respective flair
mine motive here not to inflame
persons across world wide web
who peruse poems I craft some
may adore mein style or...

perchance think me unhinged
nevertheless positing keyframe
spur of the moment whim
no likelihood outcome will maim
this wordsmith simply posting
if nothing else, I overcame
trepidation to express bonafide
whim renouncing quitclaim
should both of us acquire wealth
to purchase virtual property
within metasphere (courtesy
cryptocurrency), cuz otherwise
I would feel shame.

Spanning across internet
analogous to accept marital vow
after blind date contestants
meet courtesy bachelor/bachelorette,
though each of us never met
mutual (of Omaha) accord
consonant with me... you bet
your sweet bippy - Laugh-In debt
ode to comedians Dan Rowan
and **** Martin, no secret
at feeling flattered, though please
dismiss ambition to covet

(at least just yet),
yours truly adopted as house pet
argh... that beastly consummation beset
with challenge unsure weaken duet,
not absolutely necessary to whet
our respective appetites and asset
with words, quite obvious
twas love at first sound and sight,
viz Latin steeped twenty six let
hors d'oeuvres suffice
me not here to exploit nor profit
concerning joint capitalistic venture,
whereby each of us signatory

contributing authors to beget
consensual reasonable rhyme or not,
yours truly doth deduce tenet
heavily to embark impossible mission
analogous good luck bouquet
to whomever doth cachet

more to the point, a whim woke
to assuage concupiscence,
cuz I gotta get get
preposterous simply to craft kismet
likened to kid in candy store lit
with excitement at sweet nuggets

mouth watering treats to offset
eating healthy vegetarian omelet
bloated overstuffed oaf think piglet
blessedly to young for slaughterhouse
five according to Kurt Vonnegut,
a fate far worse than death and taxes

now living in lap of luxury...
ah..., that's the ticket,
or perchance donning crown as kinglet
within safe porcine haven hamlet
whereat smart creatures use Telnet and toilet,
rather than pollute fields and/or streams.

Powder milk biscuits helped yours truly,
a Norwegian farmer wannabe feel bold
enough to weather inclement
steady rain which swirled, pooled,
and eddied around rolled
up pant legs skinny ankles, which
immediately felt cold,
though frigid sensation I extolled
before undertow willingly

steadily, and nimbly pulled this former
ace swimmer into watery fold
quelling, relinquishing, and taking
my hard won mettle of gold
earned early in primetime, now
at last...preemptive quiescent salvation
sluiced into unbarred
Davy Jones's locker hold
meeting his maker

yours truly made in fleshy mold
buffer dis future papa gets tubby old
all me eager life possessions
long since donated and/or sold,
thus the final countdown
found yours truly submerged
for no rhyme, nor reason told
as I blissfully headed into the webbed
wide woebegone watery wold.

Whiling away the hours
quintessentially lollygagging
within pristine environs of Bangalore
bushwhacking an arduous chore
preservation, no longer will eyes explore
of course said dreamy forevermore
glorious hoary idyll merely
knowingly, and imaginatively
buzzfeeds capital one desire i.e. alone
in the wilderness penchant – furthermore,

escape madding crowd
thick with village people galore
offload mein kampf bon jure
yaws true well lee washed away
in briny deep pull lore
“FAKE," & figuratively, hypothetically,
ably tipped, gypped,
and drowned ma poor
wet tin his every pore,
this March 21st, 2023

(ewe could Hermes faintly
bleating after mighty roar)
of ocean riptide off back
body electric far from shore,
soaking wet tha top n bot hum
'o me soggy mossy noggin,
wharf fanta seas
waterlogged optima gills, this papa
caught in reverie as stevedore
Immune to the deafening thunder of Thor.