Otherwise titled deep into my fiftieth year of passive aggressive rebellious puberty.

Yes, I chickened out getting a haircut yesterday August twenty seventh two thousand and twenty four as stated in a previous poem before undergoing cataract surgery cause mine deux (mind you) ponytail donation of at least by donating at least eight inches of these straggly tresses to a facility that repurposes cut hair for Children with Hair Loss after getting golden – more specifically brunette imponderable locks lopped off, would still cost me thirty five dollars namely at Salon Nova (situated at west Ridge Pike, Suite A, Royersford, Pennsylvania, 19468) not including a tip, which extra bonus, (would most likely top off the total cost close to fifty dollars, but yours truly best ask this question ahead of time, which monetary fait accompli with scissors might best set my sights until speedy recovery videre licet post cataract surgery.

Sacrilegious transgression against deeply rooted obsessive compulsive disorder impossible mission to forcibly eject from out my psyche, until drastic measure of prefrontal lobotomy or Electroconvulsive therapy employed courtesy a thirteen year old.

Siege warfare (trumpeting)
average joe biden his time
linkedin with aberrant behavior
transpires within me mind,
(not just today August 27th, 2024,
but everyday/365)
warrants depleting stockpile arsenal
constituting exhausting mental health
uprooting deep seated repellent pesky
daunting lost cause.

Overruled by irrational thoughts,
I feebly muster a lame duck
half quacked comeback
(think home team cheering at pep rally)
against analogous figurative agents provocateur
said nemesis bore down hard
upon sense and sense abilities
mine psyche undergoing
blistering, hectoring withering, et cetera
courtesy ghost of Emily Brontë
mailer daemons flitting to and fro,
hither and yon within wuthering heights.

Another necessity Emma gin)
awoke prided prejudice
plus sense and sensibility
to confront head on
after trimming back the tresses
beastie boy foo fighting (Irish,
no matter genealogy regarding
yours truly Eastern European)
mine talking head housing
private insane asylum.

Incomprehensible thought processes
chronically spin out of control
dictate mandate NOT to wash hair
until at least one week passage of time,
(an arbitrarily chosen number
i.e. seven days convenient block)
even if appearance looks unkempt, slovenly
grungy, et cetera as nirvana seeking guy.

Thus, I readily admit self held hostage,
whereby loopy thought provoking patterns
hopelessly, grimly, futilely find me surrendering
NEVER eradicating down battened ramparts
neurotic, lunatic approved, idiotic
mind mental chattering
babbling jabbering gibberish
housing concocted village people
dead set against shampooing oily locks.

Quite a tussle (think metaphorical hair pulling)
ensues within me scrambled noggin,
whereby pathetic psychotic pummeling
win knows scrimmage
scoring touchdown amidst
teaming muted brouhaha
allowing, enabling, and providing
harmlessly insane nettlesome
pesky skewed notions
ridiculous leeway to predominate
until yours truly USDA
qualified, hashtagged, certified...
as grateful dead among human league.

I generally mean mine mien mental state
moost occasions heavily marinated stupor
long established as external trait
psychologically time tested trooper
impossible mission to kickstart sanity
doppelgänger regularly revisits his soul asylum
hellbent antimatter he cannot vitiate
despite therapeutic laxative merely exhausts
well bred literate smoking doobie brother
eliminating aforementioned pablum
witnessed courtesy one floundering grouper
among plenty of fish schooled
hyphenated (high finned haggled)
burn hushed scaled poem
courtesy one unionised rebellious party pooper.

Spellbound with colossal mental grippe
(i.e. all-consuming figurative cerebral
obsessive compulsive forced membership)
magnetic resonance imaging
indicated jagged blip
and/or nsync microscopy
showed telltale genetic authorship
regarding above stated mental health crisis,
whereby Sigmund Freud analyst did flip
lid freeing leeches imported courtesy Philip
Hansel and Gretel a mere slip
o' lass, whose nose she always did turnip.

Powder milk biscuits helped yours truly,
a Norwegian farmer wannabe feel bold
enough to weather inclement
steady rain which swirled, pooled,
and eddied around rolled
up pant legs skinny ankles, which
immediately felt cold,
though frigid sensation I extolled
before undertow willingly

steadily, and nimbly pulled this former
ace swimmer into watery fold
quelling, relinquishing, and taking
my hard won mettle of gold
earned early in primetime, now
at last...preemptive quiescent salvation
sluiced into unbarred
Davy Jones's locker hold
meeting his maker

yours truly made in fleshy mold
buffer dis future papa gets tubby old
all me eager life possessions
long since donated and/or sold,
thus the final countdown
found yours truly submerged
for no rhyme, nor reason told
as I blissfully headed into the webbed
wide woebegone watery wold.

Whiling away the hours
quintessentially lollygagging
within pristine environs of Bangalore
bushwhacking an arduous chore
preservation, no longer will eyes explore
of course said dreamy forevermore
glorious hoary idyll merely
knowingly, and imaginatively
buzzfeeds capital one desire i.e. alone
in the wilderness penchant – furthermore,

escape madding crowd
thick with village people galore
offload mein kampf bon jure
yaws true well lee washed away
in briny deep pull lore
“FAKE," & figuratively, hypothetically,
ably tipped, gypped,
and drowned ma poor
wet tin his every pore,
this March 21st, 2023

(ewe could Hermes faintly
bleating after mighty roar)
of ocean riptide off back
body electric far from shore,
soaking wet tha top n bot hum
'o me soggy mossy noggin,
wharf fanta seas
waterlogged optima gills, this papa
caught in reverie as stevedore
Immune to the deafening thunder of Thor.

Turdus migratorius -
otherwise known as robin red breast
jabbering Kon'nichiwa i.e. honorable guest
gather materials to craft nest
their beaks poking soft ground
regarding persistent quest
to sustain diet of worms
twitter amongst themselves with zest.

Every square inch
of greensward awash
pinterestingly enough said essential
(avian) loungers - brash
to get first nib (bulls) before crash
test dummy, (i.e. other
pseudo droning birds of prey)
swoop down and dash,
while astride one horse open sleigh,
albeit all aflutter fast as
a blinking shutterfly eyelash.

All joking aside
(the aforementioned eleven lines cried
out and spontaneously did glide
thru mine fingertips without pride
nor prejudice, sense nor sensibility)
yours truly did observe countless
winged creatures, viz American Robins,

which often make mumbled cuck or tuk
to communicate with each other or sharp
yeep or peek as an alarm call
when vacationing within Telluride
Colorado, they also make a repeated chirr
that rises in volume and can sound
like a laugh or chuckle.

The vantage point housed inside
Apartment unit B44 doth provide,
enable, and allow me to analyze
feathered tweeting gals with cries
of alarm, when **** sapien defies
covenant of mother nature tries
to befriend above named animals,
which instinctual reaction to flit
away quite understandable and wise.

I (an older fella preferring solitude
versus being among madding crowd)
savors self quarantine even preceding
coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic,
no matter other primates
here at Highland Manor
take objection and consider rude

another case in point involve
scores of years ago as a younger dude,
when livingsocial with parents (mistake)
my mother and father whom accrued
anger, when yours truly did delude
himself he lived alone on tropical island
where if in the imaginary mood

could frolic in the ****
now both deceased and cremated
they then screamed epithets mean and crude
activated one sided family feud
cuz their one male offspring estranged himself
between those who begot their
(not so stellar) sole son,
his (mine) emotional state

never came unglued,
nor snapped, but rage internalized
and silently brewed,
no tea zing paying steep price
necessitating therapy to expunge
cumulative hostility within mine being
no longer feeling like a mat chewed.

I looked outside the bedroom window
here at B44 Highland Manor Apartments
today February 28th, 2021 low and behold
took stock of soundless grounded sideshow.

Barenaked lady, i.e. mother earth
partially sloughed off her downy soft negligee.

Where once ground enshrouded in lily white
courtesy albedo effect nature evinced twilight
no matter the post meridiem o'clock hour quite
re: many hours after dusk dark shadows absent
impossible mission to differentiate edge of night

from closing day as told once a pawn time knight
hence courtesy mine following reasonable rhyme
syncopated metered poetic feet tracks highlight
unblanketted silent burlesque risqué doth excite
eventually uncovers budding flora rooted birthright.

Though first of March will be here come the morrow,
nevertheless old man winter can still pack a judicious
punch without feeling regret or sorrow.

Without doubt, yours truly eagerly awaits the Spring
equinox - 5:37 Ante Meridian on Saturday, March 20
when warm temperatures (fahrenheit thermometer)
allow, enable, and provide ideal opportunity to bring
these lovely bones outside soon enough sparking me
to perspire, whereby beads of sweat on skin will cling
taking lock, stock, and barrel envying birds and bees
enjoying (gathering nectar from rosebuds) pollinating
while lads and lasses engage in flowering fling.

Soon enough hazy, hot humid dog days of summer
usher thunderstorms - follow bolts of jagged lightning
humbling one garden variety beetle browed being
awed by fantastic, electric, dynamic... atmospheric
phenomenon - ofttimes wreaking havoc tossing
large objects as if trappings of civilization plaything

meanwhile scaring the bejesus and living daylights
out of mortal creatures scrambling for safety during
tempestuous meteorological event, I would not miss
witnessing explosive ear splitting, deafening noise
reigning down on basket of deplorables trumpeting
supremacy over feeble attempts **** sapiens exert
qua Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).

Though the might of man puny compared/contrasted
with tremendous pent of energy released courtesy
planetary tectonic, meteorologic, and atmospheric
dynamic processes, one terroristic oaf clamors
to wrest powers latent within the gods, yet must be
stopped dead in his tracks lest democracy obliterated.

I revisit rather than write from scratch
a poem crafted May twenty third
two thousand and twenty
since the following words apropos
and amply serve a duplicate purpose
of aforementioned title,
when yours truly enlisted
(before any consideration
arose to object
threading shower rings
thru scissor made cuts)
of makeshift shower curtain -

actually repurposed invisibility cloak
then yesterday March 24th, 2024,
therefore husbandly duty
found me swallowing
my pride and prejudice
with sense and sensibility
suffering permanent anatomical
disfigurement, nonetheless
maintaining marital bliss
at steep price despite more or less
musculoskeletal dislocation,
I eagerly, readily willingly confess.

Ideal for someone whose height
trends toward above average
unless you don't object tilting
head back in an effort to gauge
keeping noggin cocked
at ninety degree angle tempering rage.

Yours truly gifted with absolute zero
vertical advantage, hence
mine neck craned back imposing
unpleasant strain forcing gent's
head apropos regarding yours truly
futile attempt present instance.

Carotid arteries perfectly positioned
awaiting Jack Ripper's (imposter) knife
thus mine noodle (property
Matthew Scott) induced physical strife
discomfort courtesy directly
linkedin viz the ole hen pecking wife.

Without complaint, I dutifully accepted
challenge to affix curtain
(essentially meant to keep
shower water splashing bathroom floor)
unbeknownst that threading
a camel thru eye of needle sewing pin

Would be a cinch, but such
blessed lesson acquired thru hindsight
initial task assigned me appeared
straight forward until I saw light
bulbs blind me myopic orbs,
thus in addition to afore stated plight...

Husband material (me) sorely
tested to the max, no matter chore
hardly commenced, which
spurred mental note to refrain pointing
at cumulative mold accretion
heavily visible and unsightly eye sore.

Arch disadvantage, yours truly
not being impressive or particularly tall
and thought not to retrieve sturdy
furniture to boost reach heavenly pole
which plastic hooks suspended
plastic shower curtain over long haul.

Upon figuring out how drape like
appurtenance got held in place crick
would necessitate chiropractor
to realign permanently bent poise kick
started when initially troubleshooting
deceptively easy task, no quick

assignment, though obviously
fashioning plastic hook thru pre cut slot
became clear at expense unintentionally
breaking off "J" portion not
possible to avoid subsequently
uselessly rendered hook even if robot
programmed to complete mission,
yet all told poetically smarts & moxie I got.

Please accept lame attempt (minus
obvious sensibility) to comprehend
anybody who reads previous literary
endeavors considered virtual friend
unconditionally accepts trademark

swiftly tailored harried style I extend
utilizing all manner of quirkiness,
which moost likely spells mein legend
after I pass from temporal plain,
a posthumous johnny come lately bend

ding formalities of English language
writing, yet wondering what strictures
disallow experimenting with poetic genre,
though methinks literature intend
did (art in general) to eternally evolve

without deliberate intention to offend
any die hard who might call upon
men in white suits and briskly recommend
to the funny farm, where life made
more beautiful perchance receiving stipend.

Sentient beings distraught
psyche rent asunder
courtesy false accusations
heated words exchanged like gunfire
pox upon the house of Deborah Hunter,
a vicious vindictive
girlish looking septuagenarian woman
buzzfeeding unfounded conspiracy
that the missus steals packages
ever since we moved here
at Highland Manor Apartments

force core and seven years ago
July first two thousand and seventeen
thee wife accused
unfounded rumor circulated,
she brought in snakes
courtesy whom I hashtag snaggletooth
blind as a bat
mistook large make believe
as voracious very hungry,
albeit friendly stuffed caterpillars,

nevertheless possessing
an insatiable appetite
for rumor mongers
especially for bony thin
older bonnie lass
or similar facsimile thereof
such as a small number of tenants
housed here at above mentioned
low income low slung building
formerly an elementary school

repurposed many decades ago
into accommodations
mostly catering to senior citizens,
and/or those receiving
social security disability
the latter classification pertains
to yours truly,
a psychologically tuckered out
egalitarian, libertarian, nonsectarian,
sexagenarian, solitudinarian Unitarian

frazzled, grizzled,
and puzzled wordsmith
who knows not why the wife
singled out and bullied, hastled,
intimidated, and threatened
creating hostile living environment
impacting me
indirectly caught in the crosshairs
wishing upon a star
to acquire monetary resources

to hightail out of
insufferable toxic shock
system of the down
slipping into the behavioral sink
suffocating - impossible mission
to catch my breath
brainstorming for solution
while pitched upon
horns of a dilemma,
whereat I shout out

thru the corridors of time
calling Bull Moose and Rocky
my childhood fictitious cartoon heroes
to deliver salvation out the maws
of an untenable situation
threatening life and limb
hankering for life, liberty
and the pursuit
of happiness birthing
nirvana linkedin to soul asylum.

Born that way angry antithetical
mailer daemon when...
all of Christendom bows their collective
talking heads in supplication,
a temporary truce and reprieve
against bigotry, deviltry, idolatry (nah),  
et cetera across the nation.

Yuletide pageant merry doth go round
where credo, ethos, and
faith no more jinxes webbed, wide world,
nevertheless soul asylum limned courtesy
peace on earth and goodwill
toward all men sentiment
sacrilegious to bully,
fully sully mankind's divine holiness,
and present disgrace to human race
in the dolled guise of heretic

quasi analogous to a matador ramrod ready
to Catch Bull at Four in a China shop
gored when muleta waved -
courtesy matador incited Bos Taurus
both fuming, fretting, foaming, et cetera
even the spectators
frothing at the mouth with lather
while smartphones captured tableau
frozen in time photo touched up
stripping bare every ******

last vestige of cruelty
toward a gregarious animal
exclusively a domestic species
males genetic propensity
culled, goaded, likened as fearsome beast,
synonymous when anonymous nasty brute
fomented enormous disaster
monetarily eviscerated yours truly
an online scamming  assault,
the repercussions I still forced to wage

depredations living hand to mouth
quaffing caustic acidic ale,
a cunning prankster did stage
comparable to kindle figurative
ringed fire of rage
within my still smoldering belly –
coalescence fuels tinder
while financial security riven
and rent asunder
severely dislocating, hobbling,

paralyzing vertebrae constituting
gray and white matter, appearing
in a cross-section as H-shaped gray matter
surrounded by white matter,
whereat the gray matter consists
of the cell bodies of motor
and sensory neurons,
interneurons, and neuropils
(neuroglia cells and mostly
unmyelinated axons).

December 27th, 2023,
the missus pounded mine posterior
(she played paddywhack
on me blimey buttucks)
not only causing contusion,
but flaying percussive rumpus,
where the wild things are
found yours truly feeling
like a cross between a bongo drum
and a Ubangi
(also spelled Ubangui, Ubanghi, or Oubangui).

Meanwhile good n plenty
good vibrations
(cue the Beach Boys) resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking
give doggone husband reprieve
undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating fleshy derrière
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
once formerly cute palm pilot size *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest
against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything
(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye
lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom
(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, lacerated, and bruised.

After swatting *****
until backside a deep angry red,
she (the bride of
twenty seven and a half years)
turns me over and spanks the monkey.

no matter whether or not ya give a hoot

especially after feeling super charged
watching the second night of
Democratic National Convention conclave
ushering a hint of "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

Men and women are born and remain free and equal in rights. Social distinctions may be founded only upon the common good.

Article 1 of the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen (‘Déclaration des Droits de l’Homme et du Citoyen’)

Yours truly (a poker face)
exceptionally shy person
as a little boy who maintained an
inscrutable impassive expression
that hid my true feelings
similar to an adept card "Sharp" and "shark"
born this way nocturnal chronotype.

I dusk cover tenebrous dark shadows
creeping closer along the edge of night
punctuating the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where something mist tickle
and magical happens
after the stroke of midnight
during the wee hours of a dawning day.

When morning hath broken
tis time to prepare tea for the tillerman
fifty plus shades of gray matter
in mine noggin o' mine feels askew
eyes wanna remain shut tight
add teared with super glue
bookmarking, dawning, and foisting
wispy tendrils o' daylight curlicue
wing analogous to fragrant
aroma of barbecue

said quotidian wake up calls
could not gently assuage, bestir,
boot cannot command.com, i.o.sys,
nor msdos.sys me
to arouse yours truly anew
without fail generated
abort, retry, and fail
thus deadened to
world wide web, I continued
to remain dead,

albeit "FAKE" robbed zombie,
this inability to evince being
bright eyed and bushy tailed
not always true
cuz, I remember myself as
precious, hilarious, rambunctious... kid shew
wing vital signs of life easily
confused for screeching bat that flew
out the portals of Hellenistic Hades
wolfing down breakfast of champions,

cereal, and then bidding cheery adieu
to mother (during her
prime mate ting years)
dashing off (with two
twisted sisters in tow)
to board school bus,
while said vehicle still in moe
shun, bobbing up and down,
(no app pell Le Cajun needed)
excited to mingle amidst peers,

especially Joe King
even when afflicted with Dengue
Fever, a slight setback
eagerly awaiting new
learning would ensue
maintaining enthusiastic countenance
never showing moue
handy dandy dee moody blue
affectation, yet buzzfeeding thru
one grade after another with flying colors

well..., not quite
straight exemplary A's, B's, nor C's
mine doting parents never made overissue
regarding grades (mine hew
wing, trending Xing past
beginning of ABC – alphabet)
nonetheless promoted,
cuz momma and poppa did eschew
the punishing impact,
wrought courtesy repeated grade

thus hopping, skipping,
and jumping kangaroo
simultaneously reed dully
playing invisible didgeridoo
until BAM, arising chipper as a lark
became futile effort this yahoo
suddenly feeling hijacked,
lowjacked, whacked... numbskull
metaphorically within by bamboo,
nope remaining like ****** temple pilot

doggone catatonic dunderhead *****
loose wooden demeanor,
when at some juncture switcheroo
inside this body dielectric fleshy hue
man, whereby he dozed off
until...four after midnight, (or thereabouts)
invariably entranced by practitioner of voodoo
hok kood also tame a shrew
wild horses couldn't drag me out of bed
(been there... done that) even a slew

of feral ponies quasi native -
all muscle and sinew
to Chincoteague, and/
or Assateague Islands,
thus resigned myself maximizing energy
particularly after using water loo
when hunger pains drove acute
ability with absolute zero effort
yes believe me you
such hyperawareness came to rescue
writer's block - whew!

Any idea regarding who unnamed individual earned such lofty title? I offer a clue, that averred person unknown to many others within the webbed, wide world, and familiarity limited to smattered kith and kin. Lemme know if dead giveaway ala handy dandy blues clue prompted that "aha" realization.

Hero worship in the age of cynicism
baffles one disillusioned eccentric,
who prides himself (without prejudice),
bolstered courtesy his sense and sensibility
self actualized ex post facto
compliments of nasty
and brutally destructive
purblind (in retrospect,
raffish, selfish) endeavors
nearly devastating, harpooning

cocky eye looey fella,
lopping, et cetera
pledged troth July twenty fifth
nineteen hundred and ninety six
made when unbridled marital covenant accepted,
scuttled in favor of liberating libidinal longings
largely licensing licentious liaisons
simultaneously, permanently, and majorly
compromising, jeopardizing, violating
once especially cherished bonds

between father of two darling daughters,
(the eldest - a recent
University of Pennsylvania alumni
approaching her twenty eighth birthday
December 22nd, 2024 -
once upon a time hashtagged as daddy's girl)
cut himself down to size of raw bits
particularly indecorous flagrant callousness
emotional and financial niggardliness
he lavished with paltry

acquired scant monies
acquired courtesy family beneficence
(chump change received such as
for mine birthday and holiday gifts -
cashed treasury bonds before maturity)
spent acquisition or borrowed currency
on meager trappings for yours truly
where (barely able,
nay impossible mission) to meet costs
of living social on the MainLine

within Lower Merion School District
offered superlative public education -
to challenge first born GIEP student
and second offspring,
who exhibited developmental delay,
thus whose IEP pared down so she could
rally approbation in the form
of attagirl, kudos, stickers, et cetera)
slightly more manageable,
yet being chronically unemployed

(and unemployable – before qualifying
for government largesse)
until I met criteria
and bankrolled unearned income
to receive social security disability,
still sorely challenged person
writing these words
to meet paying rent and utilities,
and also linkedin
to significant mental health challenges

in tandem with faith no more,
and abandonment of attaining potential smarts
regarding accessing academic gifted aptitude
thwarted, stymied, hijacked to Cuba, et cetera
marked ambivalence toward self success
nearly failed every grade
even kindergarten - ha
and sustained behavioral pattern
earning me poor marks
when launching feeble

attempts to work,
and managed to witness being terminated,
thus accruing splendid curriculum vitae awash
with horrendous, and deleterious feedback
unflattering to say the least
and unfavorable to college/
university admissions officials,
plus being long haired
pencil neck geek
when doos more conservative),

a definite strike against
unseen positive impression
videre licet in the eyes of potential employer,
whereby poor performance
track record signaled a red flag
accumulating over time
to affect dark shadows qua nine inch nails
scratching across outsize blackboard,
foo fighting, beastie boys bullying
scaring the bejesus out of me unsure

outer limits of the twilight zone
inhabited, where the wild things live
hovering at the edge of night
subsequently spurring yours truly
to dejectedly slink along
the hallowed halls of higher learning
to savor the sounds of silence
being secreted and sequestered
within bedroom inside domicile
of my boyhood, adolescence,
and emerging adulthood.

Unspecified number of hours spent
yesterday March 6th, 2021
reading (cover to cover) Pennsylvania Gazette
March/April 2021 issue.

Proud papa highly regards eldest daughter,
University of Pennsylvania alum
as academic whip smart high achiever,
she did (after quite a stretch of time
after graduating) become
self supporting earning hand over fist money

as yours truly
(her biological father) feels glum,
cuz I would qualify
mine existence as humdrum
hence quite envious at well deserved income,

which exact dollar figure I will remain mum
yet if privy being financially,
what me worry would become obsolete
mine mental would find me comfortably numb
livingsocial in splendour
versus dwelling in slum

bring (think dirt poor -
according to youngest sister)
whereby financial shortcoming exacerbates
predilection toward anxiety
with distress squarely within tum.

Back during mine salad days
earlier within mein kampf
precious time squandered away
this doubting thomas
grabbing life by figurative horns,
his outlook toward future
did excel at procrastination,

a pointedly powerful stance did delay
ambivalence toward purposefulness
hit me courtesy metaphorical
ton of bricks, now at threescore earth orbits
around the sun absorb shock
while grizzled and gray

recognizing when sober
upon post drinking up lackadaisical indifference
feigning to care not a whit,
I allude to johnny come lately self actualization
analogous to confronting judgement-day
resigned to gather wilted, shriveled, matted

rosebuds while I may
experience e'en just fleeting aliveness,
thus yours truly doth pray
to dance (why I'll) while
these spindleshanks sashay
into Elysian Fields
exorcising atrophied muscles oy vey!

Equal copyrights we can both claim
renown impossible mission to envision
just the experience to become linkedin
with literary talents of another motive
couched within these lines I exclaim
no idea regarding the specifics
how to kickstart joint effort game
undoubtedly enterprising individuals
endeavor to pool respective flair
mine motive here not to inflame
persons across world wide web
who peruse poems I craft some
may adore mein style or...

perchance think me unhinged
nevertheless positing keyframe
spur of the moment whim
no likelihood outcome will maim
this wordsmith simply posting
if nothing else, I overcame
trepidation to express bonafide
whim renouncing quitclaim
should both of us acquire wealth
to purchase virtual property
within metasphere (courtesy
cryptocurrency), cuz otherwise
I would feel shame.

Spanning across internet
analogous to accept marital vow
after blind date contestants
meet courtesy bachelor/bachelorette,
though each of us never met
mutual (of Omaha) accord
consonant with me... you bet
your sweet bippy - Laugh-In debt
ode to comedians Dan Rowan
and **** Martin, no secret
at feeling flattered, though please
dismiss ambition to covet

(at least just yet),
yours truly adopted as house pet
argh... that beastly consummation beset
with challenge unsure weaken duet,
not absolutely necessary to whet
our respective appetites and asset
with words, quite obvious
twas love at first sound and sight,
viz Latin steeped twenty six let
hors d'oeuvres suffice
me not here to exploit nor profit
concerning joint capitalistic venture,
whereby each of us signatory

contributing authors to beget
consensual reasonable rhyme or not,
yours truly doth deduce tenet
heavily to embark impossible mission
analogous good luck bouquet
to whomever doth cachet

more to the point, a whim woke
to assuage concupiscence,
cuz I gotta get get
preposterous simply to craft kismet
likened to kid in candy store lit
with excitement at sweet nuggets

mouth watering treats to offset
eating healthy vegetarian omelet
bloated overstuffed oaf think piglet
blessedly to young for slaughterhouse
five according to Kurt Vonnegut,
a fate far worse than death and taxes

now living in lap of luxury...
ah..., that's the ticket,
or perchance donning crown as kinglet
within safe porcine haven hamlet
whereat smart creatures use Telnet and toilet,
rather than pollute fields and/or streams.

and ethereal disembodied spirits seen
from the other side of the woods
said phantasmagorical sound and sight
particularly experienced every Halloween.

Though dog tired
ready for the nocturnal sandman,
but before succumbing to countless winks
namely, quintessentially, telepathically
fictitious mythical character yours truly wired.

No matter five plus weeks
before onset of All Hallows' Eve,
or All Saints' Eve, celebration
(observed in many countries
on thirty first October).

The following adverse scenario unfolded
conjuring galling kickstarting
crepuscular dark shadows, albeit amorphous
fleecy, gauzy, hallucinatory... phenomenon,
whereby I witnessed
eerie superior imps jumpstarting piercing
along the edge of night
slithering out the twilight zone
framed within night gallery.

Banshees howled thru dense thickets danse macabre
quiet riot grimacing growling grumbling gremlins
existence ephemeral

Velkommen... awoke; sleeper now awake
Scare for treat?

All hallows eve festooned, spooked sight,
tricked out ghostly haunted house fright
especially 'pon dark and stormy night
courtesy creation gnarled skeletal hands
iron grip strength steely bewitched might
fashioned superior eerie abode I write

vampire fangs drip blood, hooked warty
nose, plus bulging popeyes will delight
ghoulish welcome invitation only will incite
blood curdling screams within hermetically
sealed soundproof ghostly abode airtight
dark shadows creep come edging fore sight

to trick come stroke of midnight
monstrous phantasmagoric shape shifting
demonic denizen tarantula spiders hungry to bite
though pitchblack insatiable appetite
thundering mandibles cacophony invite
hobgoblins, who render imaginary, nee virtual

towering infernos licking forked flames
casting webbed, whirled wide silhouette
faux netting floor to ceiling height,
whereby unexpected lull dead silence
unbearable anticipation hints most
fearsome, loathsome, unwelcome... outright

villainous, venomous, vociferous...
ferocious creature politically demonic,
bigoted, anti semitic greenlighting white
supremacist hatred, when deathly quiet
suddenly punctuated with "send him back,"

plus emanations chanting "he got no birthright"
before his err rash shun null itch for gunfight,
and exploitation of natural resources
elicits, kickstarts, snapchats, and twitters
total mortal kombat broadcast by satellite.

Let us bear witness to arm and blindfold...
each candidate for president of United States
and therefore witness a duel (to the death)
between Biden and Trump to determine
who occupies Oval Office as forty seventh
Chief executive of the federal government.

Since both the Democratic and Republican contenders
for prospective commander in chief offer pathetic odds
evening the prospect of the latter or former winning an
unequivocal fair and four square bilateral contest firing
a gun after being positioned back to back, then counting
of so many paces before turning around and facing off.

Neither combatant could be identified, cuz head to toe
bullet proof vests would encapsulate every square inch
of vulnerable flesh rendering incognito dead giveaway
characteristics, and a wig would don their numbskull
at a given signal communicated thru bluetooth headset
high powered firearm cocked and raised ready to aim
at opponent instantaneously caught in the crosshairs

premature ejaculations punctuated sound of silence, a
mortally wounded wimp versus over stuffed ego freezer
also suffering a fatal shot as madding crowds roar with
deafening frenzied ballistic approval atavistic gone ape
primal screaming decreeing spoken explosion of anarchy.

All hell broke loose likened to burst dam where humanity
witnessed annihilation into balkanization into capitulation,
disintegration into evisceration, into factionalization, into
horrification into insubordination into jubilation, liquidation
into militarization into nullification into obliteration into
promulgation, radicalization, tribulation, and veneration.

Suddenly out of bedlam deft ferocious hoodlum jump/kick
started linkedin nationalistic predation rebranded travesty
vocalizing xenophobia zealously attracting craven egocentric
gambling inimitably kleptomaniacal, mercurial, opportunistic
quixotic, sensational uber wordsmiths reductio absurdum
expostulating non-sequiturs endowed with hidden wisdom.

Though ordinarily a non violent (unrepentent punster to boot)
amazingly graceful aging hippie even while in utero I played
role of embryonic peace monger – marching within the womb
despite the cramped quarters, especially as I got closer to term
and occupied avast area of the ******, my mother participated
in numerous rallies exposing me to socially progressive events
no surprise when yours truly babbled on about revolutionaries.

Omnipresent grief and horror
abounds toward ceaseless killing fields
impossible mission for me
to summon forth fading magic powers
since Delilah imposter hashtagged,
(and subsequently outed)
as a mortal (know your) enemy, -
nevertheless became the love of my life -
(sent by complicit
Philistine officials to entice me)

nearly found yours truly
inveigled, ensnared, and ambushed
in sinister plot to lop off
cherished locks of love
while immersed in deep sleep,
when I came to just in the nick of time,
and wrested control by grabbing scissors
being violently brandished
courtesy turncoat paramour,
a mere hair breath away

from snipping brunette tresses of mine:
luckily a surge of strength
coursed thru body electric
allowing, enabling and providing me
golden opportunity
to don invisible cloak of invincible
and trumpet genuine ambition dash off
to the Middle East
shucking any intent to proselytize,
but availing these

threescore and five year old
helping hands of mine
never subjected to laborious
rigorous back breaking work,
and matter of fact I figuratively
and literally short changed myself
courtesy mental health issues
that plagued yours truly
even as a young lad
forever ostracized, intimated, and excluded

predicated upon diminutive
physical mite size boy
noticeably socially withdrawn,
and when I did stammer out an utterance
the vocalization soundedly severely nasal
(envision thumb and index finger
of one or the other hand
clamping the nostrils)
attributed to submucous cleft palate,

a congenital defect of the palate,
which forms the roof of the mouth;
said cleft (or opening)
located underneath the mucous membrane,
which the tissue that covers
the roof of the mouth:
A submucous cleft affects the uvula,
which is the long tissue that hangs
from the back of the palate.

After years of wearing a removable
oral prosthetic device -
(since surgery could only guarantee
a fifty fifty outcome of correction), -
said contrivance latched onto
front upper and rear teeth
the surrounding strengthened
to decrease high pinched sound.

Unsure if and/or how whimsical notion
(to volunteer in whatever humble capacity)
yours truly could bring to fruition
to ease the humanitarian crisis
since abundance of individual strands
thinned since prime (mating) years
witnessed a visible thinning
and concomitant ebbing of prowess

sorely affects brute strength
of one ailourophilic, generic,
and politic wordsmith
feeling blessed with soundness
of body, mind and spirit
courtesy of the English language,
hence drawn to the milieu of communication
in general and writing in particular.

Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in the mein
included an assortment of chow.

Impossible firm me
(read my bookish self
a schlepping schlemiel,
with schmaltz and chutzpah
stationed at Highland Manor
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania)
to compete with Adonis,
no way no chance
asthma gut busts over
waistband of sweatpants,
the choice couture,

asper this poet, who kant's
cease spewing regularly
(quotidian) raves and rants
years ago (another lifetime),
I partook of contra dance
(the most fun one can experience
while being clothed)
sing, (and most casual suitable
place to find romance)
plus burn calories matter of fact,
a milieu to buff and enhance

physique, while simultaneously
kibitizing with great expanse
of pleasant gals and guys
one must not be afraid to prance,
(albeit in accordance
with a caller on stage,
and maintain endurance)
synonymous with aerobic exercise,
and also women act flirtatiously
coquettishly, and amorously glance
sing and/or stealing a French fried

kiss, yup dashing all
the way out to France,
yet returning just in time
and adopting being proper,
or improper instance
all the while sustaining
the energetic activity over expanse
of a few hours (traditionally
held on Thursday evenings)
and for that block
of time held in a trance,

asper...analogous to
spellbinding arrow or lance
suspended part way thru flight,
cuz all troubles
temporarily melt away
which venue mentioned,
which small number
of bucks one did pay
to participate among
mine weekly highpoint,
where life liberty,

and pursuit of happiness
which place this then akin to a cray
zee lee whirling dervish, did pine
to spruced himself up,
and ready to hay
for four (analogous to two couples
tracing a figure eight
on the floor with their feet),
thus sped without delay
this bag of lovely bones hapt tubby
more more trim, unlike

less physically fit body of today
and scant finances find me
foregoing joyfully
listening to musicians play
and healthily exhausted
with closing waltz,
thence out tummy car,
yours truly did sashay
and promenade over the rainbow
acquiring spouse worth
more than fine spun gold,

cuzI met me beloved spouse,
(and biological mother
of me now deux grown daughters)
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania 19119
almost three decades ago,
where we did precariously
balance and swing and gypsy
while tenuously tethered
to a ladies chain.

also known as
noteworthy Trader Joe's patrons
bass sic lee did treble themselves
conducting taping jam session
assembling (boxing), compiling,
and hermetically sealing tight as a drum so,
a razor sharp machete blade got dull
trying to open in vain said holiday cheer
of awesome delicious goodies,
(especially the yummy

stuffed vine leaves with rice),
which holiday care package
received without fanfare
for this common man,
whose younger sister
(vibrant as Appalachian Spring),
nevertheless wiser sibling
Shari Harris-Dunning
a **** (hard) at work
tantalizing, teasing, titillating
as a lead wrapper from home grown

organic foodstuffs, she and her bandmates
helped fit perfectly, meticulously,
and snugly together
analogous to outsize constituent components
of intricate jumbo puzzle pieces
amazingly, mathematically,
and thematically linkedin
bearing gifts subsequently mailed
(courtesy the United States Postal Service)
from Bend, Oregon
to Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Lemme amplify how creative, innovative,
and opinionative yours truly (me)
a humble wordsmith,
who exhibits his freestyle trademark
Scottish matted style avante-garde,
one run of the mill (by the Floss) bard
wannabe wants to rave about your card,
he presumes unbridled
posthumous fame will ensue
after his lovely bones disintegrate
courtesy cremation, which cremains
symbolically distributed across

all four points across the globe,
cuz the earth will solely serve him
as eternal terrestrial graveyard
ashes repurposed hard
to believe buzzfeeding, jump/
kick starting seeds of life
and white lily obliterating ill-starred
legacy which afflicted one mortal
named Matthew Scott Harris,
whose chronic assault
with mental health issues
undermined realizing his potential.

Into the void of cosmic oblivion
eventually goeth as masterly cell bait,
the once unique human
(cited above) as scripted inevitable fate
of all creatures great and small
death promises to liberate
uniting one garden variety,
and generic soul
linkedin among Spiritus Mundi
a never ending tête-à-tête.

Although yours truly modest,
the only personal issue
I will lightly boast about
constitutes lingering

self worthlessness bred
if not prior to first grade,
than most definitely incipient,
academic deadlines

loomed large with dread
and exacerbated by procrastination
quickly adopted as linchpin
****** obsessive compulsive
currents (i.e. thoughts) fed
modus operandi, which intricate
schema writ over lifetime invisible
within this talking head

who ironically enough
never uttered a beep
engendered from lack
of confidence, esteem,

somehow worthlessness,
insignificance,
emasculation, et cetera
took root, and didst leap

(axon to neuron)
and said mindset did seep
percolating into every nook,
and cranny comprising

aging shades, transformed
gray matter, sans this
beatle browed ******, a deep
purple, though easily mistaken

for minuscule Uriah Heep,
or perhaps, ewe might notice,
(albeit while in a sheep
push disposition) similarities

between mine fist
sized thinker, and another creep
*** totally tubular Charles Dickens
character, or maybe

even a commercial
for nanobot sized jeep
grand Cherokee keep
up a moderate clip despite,
and/or because I
oft times feel a light
buzz sensation within me quite
average gummed up noggin
jammed numb skull,
(essentially barren aged

teenage wasteland recently
undergoing gentrification),
(yeah how really) excite
ting, a no brainer fright
fully glommed with peevish
gobbledygook plus worthless,
obsolete, and crammed academic right
hand busily twiddling, scribbling,
and sloppily drafting
error riddled assignments

deliberately failing heavily
marked with bright
colors adding oomph
to mental blight
punctuated by
attaining puny height
(...oh, about seventy inches,
nonetheless, my slight
physique and mute quiet
as a mouse, I might

as well hove been a stand in
for Charlie Brown right
down to tree eating kite
good grief - never an ending fight
with Lucy, hence now this knight
in rusty armor forever
disparaged his might
and attests to
20/20 hindsight
analogous to Snoop doggy dog.

though he played only a cameo role
helping me secure corrective eyewear I sport

mucho gratitude to all parties involved
including the missus,
cuz she needed to shuttle me
to and from hither and yon,
wherever I needed to go,
cuz entire bill paid
(including thorough examinations and lenses -
the frames repurposed

from one used many moons ago)
courtesy AETNA Medicare Advantra
in tandem with superb
ocular optometrist Doctor Paul Halpern,
that would be an unpaid for plug
touting outstanding kickass knowhow
insync with his offbeat good humor
without making a spectacle of himself.

Many insightful revolutionary breakthroughs
linkedin to gamut of intelligent people,
whose exhaustive mental,
physical and spiritual efforts
witnessed visually impaired
(shortsightedness affected wordsmith
since he entered second grade
at Eagleville Elementary School
circa approximately mid nineteen sixties)
and anticipated him being called
mildly derogatory name four eyes,
thus withheld donning glasses
at the expense of lackluster marks

for that half year, cuz parents moved
to 324 Level Road
initially R(oute) D(elivery)
until Donald Neilson
(if memory serves me
more correctly than spelling
of his surname, and "The Idler Wheel
Is Wiser Than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More Than Ropes Will Ever Do" by Fiona Apple),
and yesterday November 12th, 2024
happily, proudly, and zealously wears glasses
to see the webbed wide world crystal clear.

Post cataract surgery,
about couple months
after consultation  at Kremer Eye Center
and finally came to figurative juncture
whereat (drum roll please...)
prescription adjusted eyeglasses
now sit squarely on my button nose -
as long as I hold them there with a finger
until cosmetic surgeon affixes a bump
on the bridge of said nose

analogous to the song titled
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
(courtesy Johnny Nash,
who raked in quite a bit of cash)
to drive our 2020 Hyundai Elantra
after dark shadows slink and slither
along the edge of night
encompassing an ever widening berth,
where the outer limits
meld with swathes of the twilight zone.

Late afternoon October 15th, 2022
a spring like day
witnessed nature in surround sound,
whereby reflection spurred
reminiscence about similar weather
a few years ago when...

Serious intent to read
latest issue of TIME magazine
found attention pleasantly distracted,
when I became keenly aware
of flora and fauna bursting,

blooming, buzzing, and twittering
oblivious to yours truly sitting stock still
in folding lawn chair
marveling at each budding
natural born architect and engineer

each respective constituent
living organism engrossed
delicate as deft potters crafting chinaware
observing good and
plenti hive nesting reverential species
trumpeting suave and donning debonair

without any pretentious fanfare
merely obedient to genetic coded wear,
exclusive domain glorified, ordained,
and sanctified by divine imprimatur
contemplating if despair

experienced by coterie of biosphere
not including **** sapiens,
and/or aghast that their extinction
dooms them to disappear,
which undeserved fate unfair

for innocent animals and plants
critically contributing as
unique vital gadgeteer
linkedin to significant role
evolution indiscriminately licensed

met with preserved concord, versus mutineer
extant among bipedal hominids
each and every simian forebear
generally recent primate ancestors,
whose short lifespans predated medicare,

but more particularly modern man/woman,
who flagrantly extracted precious
minerals, plundered mountains,
usurped possibly, sans sadling muleteer

and/or forced chaingang extruded
raw materials to concoct wear
able, munitions, disposable,
and most importantly

deadly ordnance for ****** warfare,
never quenching thirst for mortal Kombat,
nor scooping up riches galore,
no matter wealthy status equals bajillionaire!

Schwenksville scribe set himself task
re: expresses glad tiding
forthwith for public views
in consonant with figurative
elbow grease did use
yielded nothing but rave reviews
as attested courtesy
eager disbelievers waiting in long queues
could hardly contain myself
regarding said stellar news,
and call English language as mine muse
to communicate pleasant reception

courtesy gentile management
none of whom call themselves Jews
pleasant surprise, when
regional property manager Pam Floreen,
gushed effusively commenting accolades,
exuding positive unsolicited feedback
(such praise forthcoming never experienced
since yours truly and the missus
inhabited one bedroom apartment B44;
July 1st marks sixth anniversary;
here at Highland Manor)
aforementioned feedback imbues

me with giddiness and relief
versus one experience
when Lisa Varley Wacker
(rounded out management team
after getting hired February 1st, 2023)
came down harsh as if her figurative fuse
got lit, cuz she severely
give us a dressing down,
I cannot excuse
inflicting an unpleasant psychic bruise
authoritarian power
I believe she did abuse.

Regular ongoing light maintenance
(cleaning refrigerator, mopping,
sweeping, vacuuming, et cetera) I write
helps tamps down anticipatory anxiety
most frequently decreasing after twilight
when on site management
leave for the day
a quiet state of mind quite
not readily apparent
to any casual observer,

which panic stricken disposition
ofttimes pervaded
dreams of mind at night,
so essentially lingering after effects
of satisfactory inspection
finds me feeling high as a kite
carrying away to ecstasy
a baby boomer of average height
these honest to dog these words
hoop fully as truthful fanciful flight.

born January 13th, mcmlix
under Capricorn sign.

With my scrunched  
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder precise circumstances
that linkedin yours truly to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar
to sowing seed of corn

ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –
whether one celled entity

or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for able pledge marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in distant past
rendering me absent,
and hence unable to utter wow
evincing expression care worn.

At what crap shoot of circumstances
wrought Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and world wide web
or follow threads back in time,
albeit not more than
a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed Eastern European swath
in general finding thyself to rhyme
for no reason,  just as other creatures
great or small occupy themselves with glee

or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury  
how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monkey,
whereby harsh ill fate
tempts them into life of crime,
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree
begat courtesy making whoopie.

A genealogical limb
branching off way back
when back in the day
glorious personalities
populated genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere o'er the rainbow
along Yellow Brick Road way
setting stage for rags when
once August ancestry buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present woes or even pray
to win lottery turning attention
to how like our ancestral gingko

or Geiko gekko newt
dwelling in rich primordial
egg drop soup
wantonly in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
trumpeting horns heard
signaling Santa Claus
in his trademark red suit
on land to assay.

Punctuated equilibrium
first proposed by
and Niles Eldredge in 1972
gave rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
this one speck of flotsam
in particular owned
a passion for contra dance,
whereby others from massive beasts
to microscopic organisms
scurry hither and yon to and fro
essentially to be alive for lifetime,
nevertheless a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance
to self taught amazing uncles and aunts.

I trumpet the withdrawal
of democratic contender from out the presidential race.

Breaking headline news story
courtesy rumor monger premieres
showcasing emphatic groundswell
against feeble minded incumbent.

Extraordinary turn of current events
immediately enlivens the United States populace
injecting much needed lively discussion
about gerontocracy deliberating for the electorate.

Though ill suited for any storied role in American government
yours truly (a sexagenarian) could vouchsafe for entrusting the
beleaguered state of the union in the hands of a qualified female
or male candidate born within Generation X Born 1965–1980.

Upon growing national groundswell of alarm
agonizing, capitalizing, eulogizing, galvanizing,
initializing, jeopardizing, polarizing...
voters (née namely citizens) of United States
plus capital one, buzzfeeding learned folks
linkedin courtesy webbed wide world,
an earthshaking crisis emboldens an erstwhile
average joe (biden his time) suddenly
chose to loose his humble opinion
across the Internet to affect

an immediate emergency session
of government officials
to address inexorable lurch
toward absolute zero democracy,
which liaison of Democrats and Republicans
necessitates closed door session
to resolve and allay the shear madness
lurking within the outer limits
of the fast approaching twilight zone
where dark shadows

creep toward utter chaos,
cuz our country tis of thee
teeters on the brink of
the astute heads of state,
and even popular stars
in the limelight beseech, implore,
and knead the malleable consciences
of sensible sons and daughters
genealogically linkedin to storied personalities
fomenting the American Revolution.

Outright riots promise to spill blood
and sacrifice the lives
of at least one anonymous worthy wordsmith,
(who might possibly
be an English Major incarnate)
in tandem with militant posses submerging
the land of the free
and home of the brave into anarchy
already terroristic subterfuge

rallies quintessential pronouncement
hinting quacking ducks lined in a row
where progostigation of dystopian future
impossible mission to detail
a scenario one cannot even conjure
from an overactive imagination
such as mine flirtation
with the Brave New World
already reflecting the absence of freedoms.

Not much effort required
to hypothesize severe limitations
and even harsh measures
taken against me for merely
sharing a what if scenario
barely even approximating
fallout from writing something
so passé as the following.
Haint no walk in the (Linkin) Park
(like back in the day
during the twenty fourth year
of the twenty first century),
I remember fondly as a sexagenarian -
shooting the breeze
on many a temperate
mid summer nights dream,
or later at four after midnight
nodding off to sleep
listening to deep sleep music

courtesy scouring youtube
then mostly free
from the electronic eyes of the government,
cuz soon sophisticated spyware -
linkedin with augmented/
virtual reality and microchips
incorporating sensors record
critical nodes' details traversed by each bit,
where computer hackers given free license
to explore weaknesses within system of the down.

Afterwards rigorously tested apps courtesy
south of the borders penned up
(think veritable sweatshop) preschoolers,
or applications put thru their paces
by kindergarteners similarly encaged
laboring with their collective cute button noses
to the grindstone sunup to sundown
exception made for little fingers reprieve
come holidays or birthday of product tester
prior to software being installed
on every machine sold for personal use) -
ultimately allowed (rather mandated)

by fiat and enabled a self declared autocrat
to obtain covert information
about another's computer activities
by transmitting data covertly from their hard drive -
espying websites visited
accumulating treasure trove of data -
possibly unwittingly hitting the bullseye
when subtly targeting and ingeniously
lampooning agent provocateur
cleverly communicating hidden messages
subsequently courtesy from said wiseacre.

Professed paean pronounced
and adroitly produced
upon spirit of deceased
named Boyce Brandon Harris.

First year anniversary since
cremains distributed across four winds
his soul remains alive within me.

Impressed upon mine consciousness
birthdate announcing home birth
April 9th 1929, my father
gasped his first breath of air
head populated with black curly locks,
when he uttered that initial blare,
nor preschool instructors extant
to teach him building blocks
inherent in double helix strand,
paternal grandfather (mine)
designed many a fancy chair
passed along blueprint
pertaining to curious lad
forever challenging himself to dare.

Though me dada gone with the wind
well nigh three hundred sixty five days
impossible mission to forget being pinned
with profound grief now sorrowful phase
diminished, nevertheless vague upbringing
regarding late father roughly limned
especially recalling dada's mien ways.

Him biological circumstance found
being youngest of three offspring
and second ably linkedin heir
whose inquisitiveness found him
roaming (courtesy donning roller skates)
Manhattan island far and near
plus or minus penchant
with science and mathematics
intelligent quotient in stratosphere
those mental cogs, wheels and gear
found those piercing black eyes to peer
way beyond New York City skyline.

Demise of him who helped beget me
softened harsh rebukes figuratively rained
upon noggin of yours truly
sole son wishes father understood
my psychological maelstrom
flush with monsters under boyhood bed,
and voices inside traumatized head.

Latent smarts did create career
path, which whipsawed him
thru multitudinous exotic places he did dare
to traverse – from Korean front
to General Electric where
he secured employment
as mechanical engineer
within aerospace, industry

completed my academic projects with flair,
who essentially earned me passing grade
just by the chin whisker hair
and by physical might,
I wished he served as bodyguard
when kids did jeer
me quiet skinny boy, who felt intimidated
when bullies spewed names with a leer.

The following scenario imagined
after the hoopla of
Democratic National Convention miracle workers
Kamala Harris and Tim Walz
trumpeted politically wholesome zeal,
and achieved advancement
propelling them ahead
in the race to the White House.

Unlike the hangdog expression of Eeyore
the current vice president of the United States
linkedin with governor of Minnesota
woke the electorate and victory they did score.

The donkey brays
with hearty "hee-haw" sound
finding formerly grim predictions
as foregone conclusion
reversing what appeared
as a near landslide victory
for the party where pachyderm
characterized as mascot

Fiery rhetoric mobilized populace
unlike former lackluster candidate,
a common Joe - just Biden his time
foretelling a horrid and gloomy fate
championed courtesy overstuffed
ego freezing ingrate
donning trappings of narcissism,
he didst "Libidinally" luxuriate
lacking honorable communication skills to orate
glibly dripping savage machismo sore loser
mean mien patron of vile hint
said unnamed contestant doth remonstrate
accompanied with sax, and violins
and fiendish banshees that ululate.

We will not go back
to the a bomb bin able Flintstone days of yore
bubba's zayda's bubba's zayda to the nth power,
where tyrannical patriarchal misogynistic jack
of all trades and master of none
played knick knack paddy whack.

If thee dear reader a childless female
litter really say yes
to being a weird fraidy cat lady
cheeses crust, especially even trounced
courtesy mouse a lean knee.

For those whose re: productive years
lie in the future,
the world is your oyster
and for those about to rock, we salute you
government houses golden opportunities,
a veritable unexplored treasure trove
potentially pitting thee untested newbie,
whether young lad or lass
into metaphorical formidable no man's land,
a danger zone barred against fairer ***,
or really anybody not battle tested,
yet with adequate trappings,

one can garner access
to trespass into territory
bound by razor wire
with signs stating “keep out”
(all the more reason to enter)
verboten off limits barred regions,
where the wild things are
don't be deterred to brave war zone
ringed with hot pockets
of intense mortal kombat,
where absolute zero odds as survivor
against brutal and nasty onslaught.

A similar probability stacked
against likelihood the forty sixth president
would clinch the nomination
to serve a second term
as the oldest commander in chief
since Kamala Harris
now holds strong sway
surpassing in popularity the oaf,
cuz a cutthroat villain Trump doth portray,
which tactics incorporate aspersions
toward opposition his trademark vituperation
likened to blowhard sore loser,
a proxy war of misinformation

his dom minions submissively inveigh
bully me, whereby
sowing seeds of insurrection
supposed to make America great again
as patriarchal White Anglo Saxon domain
turning back figurative clock
on socially progressive headway
presently allowing, enabling, and providing
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
to bank nest egg upon advent
when shades of gray
pepper combed over coiffed hair
or periwig donned faux virility to display.

where Lassie free to run across petco junction

All across the webbed
wide esse Scott's landed wold
emerald green Trifolium
carpets harbor untold
burrows of tiny Leprechauns clover
(leaf) ways grant trifold
wishes if captured might
divulge *** of gold
at rainbow's end, and e'en mend
yar shoes, whence re: souled,

thence tread softly beneath subthreshold
of audibility, cuz unseen universe
hapts tubby microscopically rolled
with subterranean inhabited by Lilliputian
mischievous impish beings
(about bajillion holed
up could fill the Taj Mahal) even donned with
heavy coat protecting them
(usually men) against cold
yet frolic with reel delight jiggling

with inborn instinct exhibit twofold
talent to dance with modesty
downplaying (while fiddling)
analogous to some roof fiend
averse tubby extolled,
nonetheless, their popular
doth soar, and grievously scold
persistent myth anchored with toehold,
and thus do not indulge
pruriently with pixies considerably dulled,

since libido practically nonexistent told
me (under oath of
confidentiality), one Grunwald
trusted yours truly, the secrete
will not leak out,
nor spread like slime mold,
this descendant of Lemuel Gulliver
who schleps across the webbed wide wold.

Yours truly (an average
height and weight size ways)
nondescript grown
male munching kin
stands a little less than threefold
larger than full grown homunculi.

Rumor monger kickstarter
Matthew Scott Harris
posits nontrue tidbit
regarding rock 'n' roll star
who (name unmentioned)
became the most influential
musicians across the universe,
with estimated record sales
of around 600 million
as of two thousand twenty blank.

Imp possible mission
to see non elfish (pressed) lee
160 years after his Irish ancestor
crossed the Atlantic
curling his left lip,
whereby convalescing, peep ping auld
timers cavorting wax nostalgic with
itty bitty whippersnappers,
averse to any outliers,
whether hirsute or bald
an honest to goodness painstaking effort
initially stymied friendship proffered, a cold
reception eventually bedecked
hall of the mountain king
(while sharing diet of worms)
deep under verdantly
festooned knolls of Eire land.

impossible mission of mine to bare witness
whereby mine (***** rubble) puny *******
describes a bent shaft, particularly when cap
locks on first observed by the missus when
we consummated *******, though nicht
married, cuz the rutting urge overtook both
of us 24/7, 365 days year not omitting the
leap day, which arose because planet Earth
doth circle around the sun within 365 days,
5 hours 48 minutes and forty six seconds
to orbit the nearest star, according to NASA,
and while that calculation (rounded down
established by Nicolaus Copernicus in the
16th century, when he proposed heliocentric
model - quite controversial to the church ladies -
upending geocentric theory placing the Sun
at the center of the solar system, with Earth
orbiting around it; his theory was detailed
in his book "De Revolutionibus Orbium
Coelestium" published in 1543) to three
hundred and sixty five days, we - twenty
first century **** sapiens, recognize as
a typical year, those nearly 6 extra hours
do not conveniently disappear bitta bing
bitta bitta bang: I recognize omission of
most chitty word choice, but latched on
to a song which shares the same name
as the movie, a 1968 children's musical
adventure film directed by Ken Hughes
and produced by Albert R. Broccoli (not
necessarily the guy kids wanna blame for
their favorite vegetable) starring **** Van
****, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries,
Gert Fröbe, Anna Quayle, Benny Hill,
James Robertson Justice, Robert Helpmann,
Heather Ripley and Adrian Hall driving the
innovative idea (credited to Julius Caesar,
who introduced it as part of Julian calendar,
adding another extra day every four years
to more accurately align the calendar after
segueing into the Gregorian calendar, a solar
calendar used in most parts of the world today
based on the Earth's revolution around the sun
and named after Pope Gregory XIII introduced
in 1582) with the solar year; essentially
making him the "inventor" of the leap year
added to account for the difference.

Dispense sing with fidelity blithely agog
just me and mine dark shadow
slinking along outer limits of
the edge of night doth blog
passivity, the path
of least resistance ohm my dog,
shocking voltage amply
surges an emphatic YES,
verboten fruit adrip
with succulent juices as eggnog,

a legitimately valid
reason and rhyme to flog
reprobate yours truly
figuratively doth emasculate,
thee catchword to extricate
being emotionally hogtied
warrants immediate attention,
regarding consummating series
of prurient disadvantageous
née self destructive events.
  
The best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative
exuding genital intonations to jog
all mein kampf,
I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
not to reserve judgement
towards this miscreant husband
whom identifies himself
as a dirt Poe imp of the pervert
analogous to rumpelstiltskin fable

whereby Lothario wannabe
boasts stud deed fallaciousness,
whose noggin of mine
shaped as an egghead
topped off with pinhead blocked nog,
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog
until froggy went a courtin'
into marital quagmire
woody ******* did slog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly,
one groveling, non-feeling, and sniveling
poor excuse for masculinity,
(and upstanding laughingstock
regarding spindleshanks),
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable)
humility, futility, and disrepectability
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott Harris
sought adultery, cuckoldry, effrontery...,
which unwise choices attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void

****** propensity linkedin with precepts
attributed courtesy Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirted
shirked getting caught red handed
sneaky shenanigans employed
barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed, or Oedipus complex
shrugged off Fountainhead (heavier imposition
versus Atlas shrugged) fails to bridge
(do not as Kwai)
any heavy mettle alloyed
within me psyche,
and windmills of my mind.

Handy dandy blues clues
existential mid life crisis
lacked absolute zero justification
why yours truly fraught
with hormonal secretion
embarked on warpath for concupiscence
gallivanting, frolicking, engineering
foot loose and fancy free
sabotaged matrimonial covenant,
whereby I regularly posted and answered

personal classified advertisement
with popular Craigslist website,
thus no surprise when presto digitation,
I met gal headquartered
in Coatesville or Downingtown;
she drove to Evansburg State Park
rearing to tame bucking bronco (me)
quashing, invalidating, contravening...
conjugal contractual obligation
renting asunder mine vocalized vow

to remain faithful thru thick and/or thin
seeking alternative ******* opportunity
feeble minded excuse
regarding irreconcilable differences
a vague catchall phrase
antithetical contrary to pledged troth,
embarking on maiden voyage
nsync with barenaked lady
partaking moist and meaty tender vittles.

I feebly attempted to compensate  
for dearth of absent teenage
Ninja mutant turtles
reptile brain and brawn bravado
investigated dating app experiences,
thus violated wedded vow think tryst
I yearned, trended and jump/kick started
Casanova paramour wannabe
years later subsequently
regretted quintessentially philandering

utterly disgusted at my illicit behavior
and negligence neglecting
attentiveness to offspring and spouse
forswore doting upon then
high school age daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one
(born 12/22/1996) still ******
and compromised, jeopardized,
and undermined paternal priority spawning
selfish prurient dalliances,

I das scribe, how now
brown cow objectionable
frolicking courtesy Sly
And The Family Stone
payback a *****, cuz
I feel in funky (flunky) mood,
verses when scads of Earth orbitz ago,
(round about January
two thousand and ten)
he profusely kissed

mouth of other voluptuous
(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly, kindly, thankfully... enough
in due time spouse did willingly insist
to forgive, boot never forget
long since discounting
divorce from wife
nevertheless, remaining thermally uncoupled
mandated unconditional armistice

eventually note hissed
matter of fact I dreamt
at time these lines penned
(then earlier today that May twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty two), the gist
regarding soldier of self made misfortune
toying and tinkering harming self
casually eyed sharp pointed objects
offered especial attraction
pondering hoop fully connive fist

(cuffed) around handles of cutlery
at primal, gonadal,
and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist,
hence understandably dissed
(until death do me part)
unbridled love and apology
toward thee missus and progeny,
who forever did blacklist
writ blood ginned curses
with will.i.am blackened barbs.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
thus very little paternal
(filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California
her then temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa
blatantly confessed depravity
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction
non petty irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous
on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl"),
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds done dirt cheap
buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risqué behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to con seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
repentance will forever be belabored
by me flagrantly disregarding monogamy
courtesy hardened libido
making mockery and travesty marital covenant.

When the entire mug awash
with floating leavings
by golly by gosh,
sipping said herbal brew
analogous challenge
to eat spaghetti squash
with one chopstick.

Earlier yesterday February twenty fourth
two thousand twenty four
found yours truly (me)
blithely consuming delicious
La COLOMBE DOUBLE LATTE
cold iced latte, complete
with a frothy layer
of milk and a touch of sugar.

Lower gastrointestinal war civil
immediately declared
because yours truly beleaguered
by lactose intolerance.

Courtesy veritable sweet tooth
(er...rather dentures)
craved absolute zero sum game yoking,
wickedly villainous, x'acting tummy
upsetting Pavlovian salivating, romancing,
quid pro quo woe pea pie us, orthodox,
conventional, nun habit forming (Lie),
mouth watering, lip locked, kickstarting,
Je Suis ill lust trios, hymn bracing,
gobstopping, feasting immediate laxative
inducing, decadent chocolate baneful

cake courtesy of adoring bubela, (the
same over stuffed ego freezer oft
mentioned counterpart, who unwittingly
prepared spot of tea), charming,
hugely overpowering tenderly loving
zee missus diabolically exuding
"FAKE" gracious humane insinuating
jabbering, knowingly ill loo man hating,
needful offal pestiferous quasi rip
snorting, **** under fire, violent

whooshing, expelling xyz lower
abdominal contractions, indubitably
kindling, jumpstarting instagramming
howling, fostering execrable, debilitating,
besieging posterior, automatically
clutching derriere, experiencing ferocious
gluteus maximus intractable jabbing, knifing,
lacerating, mutilating nameless oaf (me),
painfully quaking das simian, torturously
undergoing vicious wretched excessive
yawping worse fate than death!

Otherwise *** hide from irritable bowel
syndrome approximately
twenty four hours ago
from Saturday February twenty fifth
two thousand twenty four
me quite yawningly wonderful, uneventful,
sedate, quiet, ordinary, mundane, languid,
joyously humdrum, fabulously for
two whit tuss lee drab
characterized local buttuck blaster
also hashtagged endearment
as bubble ****.

Now shall I cut thee a slice of outrageously
luscious, keister jump/kick starting heavenly
gourmet deluxe cheese cake?