Equal copyrights we can both claim
renown impossible mission to envision
just the experience to become linkedin
with literary talents of another motive
couched within these lines I exclaim
no idea regarding the specifics
how to kickstart joint effort game
undoubtedly enterprising individuals
endeavor to pool respective flair
mine motive here not to inflame
persons across world wide web
who peruse poems I craft some
may adore mein style or...

perchance think me unhinged
nevertheless positing keyframe
spur of the moment whim
no likelihood outcome will maim
this wordsmith simply posting
if nothing else, I overcame
trepidation to express bonafide
whim renouncing quitclaim
should both of us acquire wealth
to purchase virtual property
within metasphere (courtesy
cryptocurrency), cuz otherwise
I would feel shame.

Spanning across internet
analogous to accept marital vow
after blind date contestants
meet courtesy bachelor/bachelorette,
though each of us never met
mutual (of Omaha) accord
consonant with me... you bet
your sweet bippy - Laugh-In debt
ode to comedians Dan Rowan
and **** Martin, no secret
at feeling flattered, though please
dismiss ambition to covet

(at least just yet),
yours truly adopted as house pet
argh... that beastly consummation beset
with challenge unsure weaken duet,
not absolutely necessary to whet
our respective appetites and asset
with words, quite obvious
twas love at first sound and sight,
viz Latin steeped twenty six let
hors d'oeuvres suffice
me not here to exploit nor profit
concerning joint capitalistic venture,
whereby each of us signatory

contributing authors to beget
consensual reasonable rhyme or not,
yours truly doth deduce tenet
heavily to embark impossible mission
analogous good luck bouquet
to whomever doth cachet

more to the point, a whim woke
to assuage concupiscence,
cuz I gotta get get
preposterous simply to craft kismet
likened to kid in candy store lit
with excitement at sweet nuggets

mouth watering treats to offset
eating healthy vegetarian omelet
bloated overstuffed oaf think piglet
blessedly to young for slaughterhouse
five according to Kurt Vonnegut,
a fate far worse than death and taxes

now living in lap of luxury...
ah..., that's the ticket,
or perchance donning crown as kinglet
within safe porcine haven hamlet
whereat smart creatures use Telnet and toilet,
rather than pollute fields and/or streams.

Ultrasound allowed, enabled
and provided obstetrician to zoom,
image courtesy sonogram
showing fledgling fetus,
thus we pledged our troth after spouses' womb
(approximately halfway
between her pregnancy) did balloon
******, wherein conception
delineated birth of eldest daughter,
and many a tomb
morrow later she resides in Oakland, California.

I attempt reasonable rhyme about...
oh happy yesteryear
when newly minted groom (me) wed bride
family in attendance cried
as Justice of Peace officiated as legal guide
extolling pregnancy of she who could not hide
figurative bun in the oven which matured inside
after two gametes fused and multiplied
countless times quickly birthing embryo
baby on the way nullified
application of premarital ***
and attendant use of contraceptives.

Clear out of the blue
thee wife asked me
opinion if wedded bliss between us
ha, how heretical to think otherwise
since romance long since flew
out the figurative window
impossible mission to feign significant other
analogous to brand new
alluring, beguiling, captivating... tchotchke.

All kibitizing aside, a requited love with zeal
I attest invisible spokes support unseen wheel
when turning sparking genuine care and concern
act as buffer against emotional hemorrhage
and received good housekeeping approval seal
more applicable to most recent
elapsed wedding day anniversaries
ex post facto after both daughters flew the coop
finding me reeling with empty nest syndrome,
whenever yours truly reviews mental newsreel,
now absence of offspring, akin
to psychological wound I did heal
no longer mourning natural course
of begetting progeny more readily
accepting their necessary autonomy doth appeal.

Though marriage devoid of physical intimacy wife
get along swimmingly, we exhibit less strife
than days of yore effulgence promulgated
to all readers unbeknownst to human life
form characterized by bloke,
whose words appeared across screen
exemplifying, embodying, and edifying
regarding beloved simian counterpart
bandying playfully sometimes
drubbing and drumming my body
while she (commandeering
certain orifices of her body)
emulates sounds of fife.

The following pastiche
poetically pricked *****,
whereby fantasy courtesy Eros
(ἔρως) cow licked
country bumpin videlicet hick
bullied who consider me
on account of a dinky ****.

Me primate chronological
adolescent and emerging adult age evinced
no whoa Biblical flood
thru microsoft billeted gates
bursting viz Dickensian
fleshy prickly sticky stub,
though smallish - male member,
zee tallywhacker proudly, joyously,
and deftly socked
one seminal bang for randy *******
courtesy garden variety
generic rammy buck,
whose berry pull lite
hello ladies twig, could land
sucker punch **** the torpedo puncturing,
wharf lewd billeted gates
demolish ***** rivals scaling
Swiss Alps, thus testosterone
wrested control vis a vis
expunged mighty tsunami
forceful tidal waves jabbed
and pierced boxer shorts
rendering underwear utterly useless as what?...
donut hole? ring without a ding? toothless dad?....
thence retracted whet ragged limp, floppy duff
flay dud discobolus?,
chewed biscuit ova Yankee dew till
birthed Giant via super fresh fielding
acme teenage heterosexual
whet dreams made me
stir crazy experiencing vivid
lifelike ****** fantasies
firm he to feel an ache kin,
beck kin ing , and whisk kin -
with a nod to wink n,
blinkin and nod mine engorged phallus
sought release check kin choking chicken
at cali fornication, per base feral,
hormonal, and primal
antsy animal atavistic antics
brazenly daring me tubby craven,
at least a baker's dozen **** tree muffins
to embolden issuance qua greeting
with ha "good evening
forte tuff hide meat curtains -
ah hanker ta deux an Aaron" cull
of the wild, and an
SOS tummy doppelganger
bro' *******, cuz
back in days of young adulthood
at the house at Pooh's Corner
near the intersection of sixty ninth and Arch
bringing to a dead hardened standstill
practically any moving object
like wings at the speed of sound
inflated ma dill dough,
particularly with onset
of raging testosterone,
once upon time introverted primate
felt his cribbed *****
ready to flow with seminal fluid
and only brought to a stop
if feral atavistic urge
think premature *******
way before ****** comeuppance  
when as an emotionally troubled teen,
he passively attempted to exit -
figurative stage door left -
to avoid exclusion
he ranted reckless rodomontade
rueful boisterous blustering bombasity
alluding to the gooey glop
tooling tug go deeper
thru unguarded Trojan horse eyelet entrance
fired the ****** fantasy
of this then young ******
mox nix to me now,
cuz I may as well be one
(self emasculating) man, whose ordinarily
rather small male *****
got rock hard like a ***
especially at most moist tender vittles
inopportune instances; or watching
the backside wiggle of
freshly minted female teacher
did elicit reCAPTCHA verification failed
to this common Joe,
who felt stymied, frustrated,
and jangled and
******* up with vasocongestion
ribbed skin flute
like any other ***** teenager,
would know (or feign)
how to find suitable gamine orifice
and many dudes
bragged about their masculinity
boasting about their
high achieving Ivy League score,
war hie felt chill and chary,
asper suddenly tha air
felt like five bell ***,
which pent up carnal craving
grudgingly caved into manual stimulation
(a **** poor substitute)
until the august moment
bedding bare naked lady
who allowed, enabled and
provided a proper outlet er...
and/or inlet firm aye
experience absent heterosexual drive
contrary to integral normal predilection
toward physical intimacy,
which natural, ****** union
more healthy than candy,
and delivered to our lives
wholesome buns in the oven, which progeny
we did kindle two tumblr full
daughters both well on their
merry (go round the mulberry bush -
with Cheney saw in hand) way
toward positive future, yet this once
risqué, pesky, and frisky father experienced
a kamikaze nosedive concerning horniness
linkedin to frigidity - ice scribe fluoxetine
(treats mental health conditions
including depression,
obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
and last but not least bulimia)
one generic name for prozac
as bad *** pharmacological killer app
that gave masta baiter hiz mortal blow
with nary an slit tiff hide,
who haint so hot fo' teacher, nor petty *****,
whose when he espies tufted hello kitty.

Noah ****** throbbing wracks
ma five feet and ten inch being,
yet arousal to enter the once portal
ova verboten fruit doth bring
measure for measure mush ado a boot
comb thing far this king fro licking in the lair
re: aperture felt envy and forced
to grapple with hearing
signature ******* groaning
signifying indubitable braggadocio.

though he played only a cameo role
helping me secure corrective eyewear I sport

mucho gratitude to all parties involved
including the missus,
cuz she needed to shuttle me
to and from hither and yon,
wherever I needed to go,
cuz entire bill paid
(including thorough examinations and lenses -
the frames repurposed

from one used many moons ago)
courtesy AETNA Medicare Advantra
in tandem with superb
ocular optometrist Doctor Paul Halpern,
that would be an unpaid for plug
touting outstanding kickass knowhow
insync with his offbeat good humor
without making a spectacle of himself.

Many insightful revolutionary breakthroughs
linkedin to gamut of intelligent people,
whose exhaustive mental,
physical and spiritual efforts
witnessed visually impaired
(shortsightedness affected wordsmith
since he entered second grade
at Eagleville Elementary School
circa approximately mid nineteen sixties)
and anticipated him being called
mildly derogatory name four eyes,
thus withheld donning glasses
at the expense of lackluster marks

for that half year, cuz parents moved
to 324 Level Road
initially R(oute) D(elivery)
until Donald Neilson
(if memory serves me
more correctly than spelling
of his surname, and "The Idler Wheel
Is Wiser Than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More Than Ropes Will Ever Do" by Fiona Apple),
and yesterday November 12th, 2024
happily, proudly, and zealously wears glasses
to see the webbed wide world crystal clear.

Post cataract surgery,
about couple months
after consultation  at Kremer Eye Center
and finally came to figurative juncture
whereat (drum roll please...)
prescription adjusted eyeglasses
now sit squarely on my button nose -
as long as I hold them there with a finger
until cosmetic surgeon affixes a bump
on the bridge of said nose

analogous to the song titled
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
(courtesy Johnny Nash,
who raked in quite a bit of cash)
to drive our 2020 Hyundai Elantra
after dark shadows slink and slither
along the edge of night
encompassing an ever widening berth,
where the outer limits
meld with swathes of the twilight zone.

Food glorious food

Asia generic guy gastronomy (and how gourmet foods eat destructively clearly beyond any) excess enthusiasm, the necessity to feed and clothe this lean mean exercising machine gunning corporeal essence christened Matthew Scott Harris revels more so within the medium of writing prevarication.

Aspirations toward fame nor fortune less significant then the mere pleasure to concoct a visually savory appetizing epistle. Food for thought more so then to fill the void, where growling heard across the world wide web, thus, no anterior, interior, or ulterior motive asper begging for money underlies this exercise. yet...if perchance a voluntary choice arises to dole out a smidgen of legal tender a name and address linkedin to this faux popinjay person, who tries to convey decency, humility, levity...qualities that wield zest.

Connoisseur of ethnic cuisine

More so a culinary pipe dream versus being an actual way of life, though savory sustenance certainly preferred than bland tasting comestibles.

Said theme (and title of poem) seems apropos during Holiday Fancy Feasts despite the plethora of – in my opinion bewitching barenaked lady hunting advertisements - reputable male personalities suddenly accused of ****** harassment after substantial time.

Yes granted so the unexpected name dropping felt like a bomb shell towards chaps, this baby boomer mwm would never suspect, point the finger, or accuse, especially one former Norwegian bachelor farmer from Lake Woebegone.

Though anonymous and hardly
a substantially (rather puny) sized
married sexagenarian baby boomer,
which dual disadvantages partly explains
lack of ubiquity among
claque of cooks, yet hoop full
to get attention, especially
after burning ghee
at the Spring Valley Y.M.C.A.
sparking flattery courtesy

some well proportioned dame
many popular rotund
gourmands l'chaim tame
their hungry beast –
wah hood put me to shame
vis a vis consuming in their one meal,
what yours truly eats in a lifetime,
none of those celery buddies,
whom this non television watcher can name
seen on any selective cable channel,

I still revel in writing while
on the hunt
(during Red October) for a meme
poetry and prose, and decided
to introduce myself quite lame
with NON GMO marginal uptick
in any sudden fortune or fame,
yet twould be pleasantly syrup prized
principally if compounded interest
from potential mistress didst exclaim

desire to enjoy a repast, though
said hypothetical gal need
not be a high society dame,
and if perchance such just desserts
came via the kitchen maiden kitty,
versus kit chin middens
no boastful claim
would be uttered by me,
her intellectual company satisfactory aim.

First and foremost on the agenda,
would be to locate an affordable,
casual and favorable eatery
tubby agreeable to our taste
indubitable choice without
(any formal dress code),
nor further haste.

Strait away to the great weigh
(or if vegetarian – whey)
station of delectable food
where the exquisite, expertise, and exotic
high steak king a claim on Michelin Guide,
Gayot Guide/Gault Millau, American
Automobile Association, Forbes
Travel Guide reputation good.

Testimony to legendary praise
explaining why patrons travel
for countless days
transforming him/her
into steady state,
where he/she shuffles along
in a dishabille quotidian famished daze
far and wide culinary craze
out of this world wide web, the wispy Lyft
wafts trace steamy filament up braise
our twitching noses,
whereat heads nod affirmation i.e. ayes.

Even before making a glad entrance
(into Restaurant) complete,
a host of fresh, enticing,
and delicious aromas serve as a treat.

Delicate, foreign, hefty indescribable
ole factory stimulants delight
infiltrating thru swinging kitchen doors
holding us smell bound,
though thin filaments invisibly light.

Thus upon a strategic seat we hoped for,
or politely sought from manager of the house
ah, our luck to be situated in close proximity,
where impossibility to stave gaming hunger,
though neither myself
nor honorable guest grouse.

Now decision time to select one delicacy equally
as appealing as the next on expansive menu list
the resultant penultimate
decision method resorted to twist
then flick (with eyes closed) the wrist.

This once difficult task complete
twas now the responsibility of the maitre'd
to store within his/her memory,
which tummy appeared like an amazing
sumptuous (promising scrumptious) feat
minutes ticked away
as our stomachs growled louder
patiently awaiting the grateful moment
to dine starting with clam chowder
poetry soup compiled
within me taste testing router.

Next in line from smorgasbord feast
hors d'oeuvres
ample enough to satiate thine palate
to whet from deep fried delicacies greased
and self restraint practiced
so the main course diminished least.

We fell upon butterfly jumbo shrimp
and marinated mushrooms when brought
an atavistic motion that memory wrought.

The Matzo ball soup with Jewish rye bread
went to the gullet with a dollop
of butter thinly spread.
A vegetable, venerable, veritable, and spinach pie
herbivorous delight, apple of my eye.

Parmgians, pasta and poultry
(albeit free ranging
NON GMO and gluten free) dishes galore
kept off figurative lid
(no matter stuffed to gills
ready to be mounted) to eat more
quite aware that mine waist
bulged whereby beltway buckle tore.

Last (but not least)
at the FINIS of this well stocked meal
comprises selection of dessert,
which samples visible
from a glass enclosed wheel
tickling that reserved “off limits” hot pocket
hashtagged for just such a sugary treat
thus summoning forth
within an engorged abdomen,
nonetheless, an audible zeal.

That reserved allotted sweet
baked, fried, or whipped parfait
or countless other grandiose
mouth watering delicacy.

Ah...juiced enough wiggle room
for one decadent byte, perchance small
enough to roll around in the mouth,
like a Chocolat Mousse, or a honey ball.

Despite that ready to explode
simply eyeing a food tray
no longer in an ala mode vis a vis
clamoring for consumption
well aware by the morrow or sooner
this bloated dirigible fulfilled human
would dearly caloric wise pay.

Professed paean pronounced
and adroitly produced
upon spirit of deceased
named Boyce Brandon Harris.

First year anniversary since
cremains distributed across four winds
his soul remains alive within me.

Impressed upon mine consciousness
birthdate announcing home birth
April 9th 1929, my father
gasped his first breath of air
head populated with black curly locks,
when he uttered that initial blare,
nor preschool instructors extant
to teach him building blocks
inherent in double helix strand,
paternal grandfather (mine)
designed many a fancy chair
passed along blueprint
pertaining to curious lad
forever challenging himself to dare.

Though me dada gone with the wind
well nigh three hundred sixty five days
impossible mission to forget being pinned
with profound grief now sorrowful phase
diminished, nevertheless vague upbringing
regarding late father roughly limned
especially recalling dada's mien ways.

Him biological circumstance found
being youngest of three offspring
and second ably linkedin heir
whose inquisitiveness found him
roaming (courtesy donning roller skates)
Manhattan island far and near
plus or minus penchant
with science and mathematics
intelligent quotient in stratosphere
those mental cogs, wheels and gear
found those piercing black eyes to peer
way beyond New York City skyline.

Demise of him who helped beget me
softened harsh rebukes figuratively rained
upon noggin of yours truly
sole son wishes father understood
my psychological maelstrom
flush with monsters under boyhood bed,
and voices inside traumatized head.

Latent smarts did create career
path, which whipsawed him
thru multitudinous exotic places he did dare
to traverse – from Korean front
to General Electric where
he secured employment
as mechanical engineer
within aerospace, industry

completed my academic projects with flair,
who essentially earned me passing grade
just by the chin whisker hair
and by physical might,
I wished he served as bodyguard
when kids did jeer
me quiet skinny boy, who felt intimidated
when bullies spewed names with a leer.

years gone by now with a ****
constituting one garden variety generic goof
bolle yours truly sprawled himself aloof

The celebrated sailing frog
     from Montgomery County
     went a court'n, or so the tale iz toad
to a grand ole mansion built around 1910,
     and e'en 'pon

     being razed ~2012 ah no dummy
     sea worthiness still plainly showed,
twas February 28th, 1968,
     when my father
     bought the house at 324 Level Road

majority thrice score plus deux years,
     rush back with unfettered exuberant zeal
this aging elf spent psalm tranquil
     May days sung sotto voce
     atop memorialized, prized,

     shingled out, ship-shape valued,
     venerated, vip voted faux ****** demesne
     "Glen Elm" named private
     100+ acre wooded common weal

many a pitch perfect spring day
     found yours truly
     frankly basking atop the spacious roof
oft times begging the cosmic force

     irrationally lyft ting this Earthlinked bing,
     this uber dreamer (uplyfted Dharma) ***
     willingly taken with "****"
(magic amazing dragons)
     presuming my absence,
     would not be missed and whereabouts
     no cause for alarm,
     but the usual antics of a contemplative goof

ball, and aware
     a minor for hair (Sunkist) gold
Helios innocently beckoned,
     this then sole Sol tanned
     within the solar raised fold
surrendering while atop
     the multi acred roof where any cold
melted away, whence became bathed
     like a bronze statue of auld.

Zip pose zing the weather forecast
     donned wafted air
fragrant with flowered flora
     visibility for miles
     if ether crystal clear,
this high da way countless yards
     off the ground presented flare
approximating pristine floral display
     with powerfully poignant immunity
     against cackling, jeering, scowling,

     parents or other nemesis with glare
ring (smoke emitting nostrils),
     an idyll escape for this heir
to the throne of the mountain king,
     (lion share of original tract
     kept by Donald Neilson empire)
     this make believe verdant submerged lair
unwittingly left a gaping hole,

     when Gambone Brothers
     industrial machinery voraciously
     made clean sweep,
     without a trace of former imp pier
     real resilient stately structured heart
     of "Glen Elm" could no longer rear

the well built “grand Etta face dame”  
     helplessly, holistically humbly
     brought to her knees (gory detail aye will spare),
nonetheless more than one pearl jammed shaped tear

trickled down chafed
     sad reddened cheeks,
     whose head must veer
away asper thine subsequently
     blotted out never never never land

     eclipsed by transient rubble,
     thence vinyl city (dis) graced sacred space,
no doubt a great ache,
     when Saint Nick sought
     sought in vain for
     324 Templed throne everywhere!

To avoid the pitfall of prospective homelessness
which near future prospect
induces existential angst I confess.

Today (written
countless years ago), I wanna die
and bid good riddance grandly
going gamesomely gra grave,
de deum, and cymbal crash
to Bing mulct emotionally,
physically and spiritually -
all the grinding hardships
would be gone in a flash
how tempting to seek
of a solution sans hemlock

or other deadly potion,
whereby toothless mouth need not gnash
boot simply swallow
and drink from the goblet of
mortal freedoms renting psych *** under
with purposelessness mine hash
tag, which bout with suicide
while n the edge of thirteen -
Anorexia nervosa defeated -
then as now experience
10,000 banshee maniacs whip lash

lacerating, flagellating,
and repeatedly rousing thoughts
shin to circle back to why death
be not proud when life on par with a mash
up of ennui, futile
gobbledygook housing incubus
analogous luft waffe bombardiers quash
the joie de vivre per
je ne sais quois spritely spring
in step happy jollity,
and levity attempt to make light

of psychological me's mental illness rash
whence thru the then lvii roam min years
as chief garbage taster of trash
hurled my way gnome matter
the gremlins dwelt within the Wabash
distance to inflict din er
of dissonance targeted
this mortal for'er abash
as soon as he got expelled
from the womb,
his reddened ears did bash

from sonic screaming boom
causing astir the nurses
into the maternity ward
of me late mum sped like dash
her, and fast as a comet
Prancer doth emulate
a con ***** dancer,
cuz ova this rude half
re: that came a boot
from genetic
chromosomal DNA wash.

American independence day
linkedin severance from English crown
Continental Congress representatives
parlayed courtesy thirteen original colonies
yielding Declaration of Independence
immediately rendered null and void
established vassalage courtesy British rule.

Fast forward two hundred and forty six years
Indigenous nations, people of color,
and so called illegal immigrants still yoked
to the whims of White Anglo Saxon Protestant,
(albeit patriarchal paradigm)
imposing invisible shackles to deny
purportedly inalienable rights
of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Before figurative birth of this nation
vested gentry men (namely wealthy landowners)
unwittingly decreed unknown mockery,
when countless generations after Founding Fathers
expedited dissolution with English monarchy
as inherited freedom(s) affect descendents
of former slaves and their harsh task masters.

Enlightenment experienced within
western civilization in general
and United States in particular
witnessed manifestation
of supposed inherent equality,
whereby oppressed peoples
forced into human *******
at emotional, physical and spiritual cost
being yanked from African brethren.

Emancipation Proclamation helped spur
realization of vast souls cruelly abused
and held chained by Jim Crow laws
to claim ownership of sacred promises
vouchsafed within the document
crafted by Thomas Jefferson.

No occasion prevailed to celebrate
abilities afforded sons and daughters
of those whose privileges denied
despite codified words
etched for all eternity of those born
within contiguous United States
plus Alaska natives,
whose former self sufficient lifestyle
before encroachment of exploiters
subsequently severely crimped and crippled
which group of people
once collectively known
and referred to as "Eskimo"
rent asunder their webbed wide world.

Even at present time when yours truly
valiantly tries to encapsulate
disheartening abuses exacted
upon the heads of those
soberly awakened to being
subordinated, manhandled, conscripted...
into lowest rung on hierarchical
free enterprise paradigm

simply because self decreed
so called white privilege
(sofa as I know couched
as critical race theory -
yet mere writing such loosely
suggestive notion could find
hounds of hell unleashed
upon me scrawny *****).

Contrary ranting, scathing,
tearing at the very meat of the matter
viz  that U.S. social institutions
(e.g., the criminal justice system,
education system, labor market,
housing market, and healthcare system)
are laced with racism
embedded in laws, regulations,
rules, and procedures

that lead to differential outcomes by race
sorely contested by
diametrically opposed polemics
to aforementioned taboo idea
undermining healthy discussion
and allow, enable, and provide
a more thorough manumission
to be realized, cuz
not everybody experiences equality.

Since the supposed Age of “Discovery”
one administration of exploitation – after another
visited annihilation, arrogation, colonialization,
evangelization, glorification, institutionalization
toward autochthonous peoples
sparsely peppering North America,
the third-largest continent,
extends from the tiny Aleutian Islands
in the northwest
to the Isthmus of Panama
in the south.

The continent includes
the enormous island of Greenland
in the northeast and the small island countries
and territories that dot the Caribbean Sea
and western North Atlantic.

Turdus migratorius -
otherwise known as robin red breast
jabbering Kon'nichiwa i.e. honorable guest
gather materials to craft nest
their beaks poking soft ground
regarding persistent quest
to sustain diet of worms
twitter amongst themselves with zest.

Every square inch
of greensward awash
pinterestingly enough said essential
(avian) loungers - brash
to get first nib (bulls) before crash
test dummy, (i.e. other
pseudo droning birds of prey)
swoop down and dash,
while astride one horse open sleigh,
albeit all aflutter fast as
a blinking shutterfly eyelash.

All joking aside
(the aforementioned eleven lines cried
out and spontaneously did glide
thru mine fingertips without pride
nor prejudice, sense nor sensibility)
yours truly did observe countless
winged creatures, viz American Robins,

which often make mumbled cuck or tuk
to communicate with each other or sharp
yeep or peek as an alarm call
when vacationing within Telluride
Colorado, they also make a repeated chirr
that rises in volume and can sound
like a laugh or chuckle.

The vantage point housed inside
Apartment unit B44 doth provide,
enable, and allow me to analyze
feathered tweeting gals with cries
of alarm, when **** sapien defies
covenant of mother nature tries
to befriend above named animals,
which instinctual reaction to flit
away quite understandable and wise.

I (an older fella preferring solitude
versus being among madding crowd)
savors self quarantine even preceding
coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic,
no matter other primates
here at Highland Manor
take objection and consider rude

another case in point involve
scores of years ago as a younger dude,
when livingsocial with parents (mistake)
my mother and father whom accrued
anger, when yours truly did delude
himself he lived alone on tropical island
where if in the imaginary mood

could frolic in the ****
now both deceased and cremated
they then screamed epithets mean and crude
activated one sided family feud
cuz their one male offspring estranged himself
between those who begot their
(not so stellar) sole son,
his (mine) emotional state

never came unglued,
nor snapped, but rage internalized
and silently brewed,
no tea zing paying steep price
necessitating therapy to expunge
cumulative hostility within mine being
no longer feeling like a mat chewed.

and ethereal disembodied spirits seen
from the other side of the woods
said phantasmagorical sound and sight
particularly experienced every Halloween.

Though dog tired
ready for the nocturnal sandman,
but before succumbing to countless winks
namely, quintessentially, telepathically
fictitious mythical character yours truly wired.

No matter five plus weeks
before onset of All Hallows' Eve,
or All Saints' Eve, celebration
(observed in many countries
on thirty first October).

The following adverse scenario unfolded
conjuring galling kickstarting
crepuscular dark shadows, albeit amorphous
fleecy, gauzy, hallucinatory... phenomenon,
whereby I witnessed
eerie superior imps jumpstarting piercing
along the edge of night
slithering out the twilight zone
framed within night gallery.

Banshees howled thru dense thickets danse macabre
quiet riot grimacing growling grumbling gremlins
existence ephemeral

Velkommen... awoke; sleeper now awake
Scare for treat?

All hallows eve festooned, spooked sight,
tricked out ghostly haunted house fright
especially 'pon dark and stormy night
courtesy creation gnarled skeletal hands
iron grip strength steely bewitched might
fashioned superior eerie abode I write

vampire fangs drip blood, hooked warty
nose, plus bulging popeyes will delight
ghoulish welcome invitation only will incite
blood curdling screams within hermetically
sealed soundproof ghostly abode airtight
dark shadows creep come edging fore sight

to trick come stroke of midnight
monstrous phantasmagoric shape shifting
demonic denizen tarantula spiders hungry to bite
though pitchblack insatiable appetite
thundering mandibles cacophony invite
hobgoblins, who render imaginary, nee virtual

towering infernos licking forked flames
casting webbed, whirled wide silhouette
faux netting floor to ceiling height,
whereby unexpected lull dead silence
unbearable anticipation hints most
fearsome, loathsome, unwelcome... outright

villainous, venomous, vociferous...
ferocious creature politically demonic,
bigoted, anti semitic greenlighting white
supremacist hatred, when deathly quiet
suddenly punctuated with "send him back,"

plus emanations chanting "he got no birthright"
before his err rash shun null itch for gunfight,
and exploitation of natural resources
elicits, kickstarts, snapchats, and twitters
total mortal kombat broadcast by satellite.

consumed later at night than usual
finds me bright eyed and bushy tailed
amply lively to learn
about an American radio
and television personality and pioneer
Wee ***** Weber,
who prominently and popularly reigned
across air waves and small screen
kept in the living/family room
then an obscure square box

frequently exhibiting local entertainers
second half of twentieth century
I chanced to Google and revisit
his popularity night time hours
of temperate March first
two thousand twenty four,
reckoning, jump/kick starting,
and forcing me to confront
a deluge of issues ricocheting
within sixty plus shades of gray matter

(such as association with females -
such as you my dear
despite being a young looking
sixty five year old beatle browed,
fool on the hill, paperback
writer wannabe day tripper),
whose prized (at least by me) encephalon
approximating roughly the size
of two clenched fists,
and weighing about 1.5 kilograms,

rattles and hums abuzz
with the sound of silence,
yet fires off thoughts about
how the webbed wide world
circa MMXXIV based upon
the Gregorian Calendar,
a scary place indeed,
which helter skelter violence
finds me fantasizing escaping
into an enchanted edenic
Octopus garden in the shade,

where camaraderie prevails
among variegated creeds,
gender orientation, nationalities,
religions, et cetera
and conflict resolution
predicated upon a win/win
paradigm allowing, enabling,
and promoting community
among habitats for humanity,
hence collective bargaining.

Vox Populi

which translation means
literally means "voice of the people."

The leaders of tomorrow
bravely take to the dais
justified their precious life,
liberty and pursuit of happiness -
stolen under their figurative nose
asper an unparalleled heist
recouping quintessential
basic human rights,
and will NOT yield an inch
(or any other minuscule amount),

if for no other reason
(and many more valid claims prevail)
such inalienable American birthrights
(codified decrees endowing freedoms -
tattered to shreds via frenzy of bullets)
guaranteeing harm inviolable
unjustly out priced
sacrificed by lax
second amendment spiced
within epidemic of wanton

murderous sprees wherein assassin
literally calls the shots supplanting
assigned storied halls with din
of firearms acquired
from pennies on the dollar,
or bartered for a bottle of gin
within the underbelly
(viz black market)
of society, where
pistol packing trigger happy jinn nee

as slaughterhouse blood soaked,
sans killing fields mount
with resignation vis a vis
discovering masterly carded misfit
to collective shrugging shoulders prithee
giving Atlas a run for his money
and upend safe havens
i.e. storied academic re
deuce sing self preservation (UNFAIRLY)
to activist minded students

treat each day as a survivalist course,
thus WE as coined on legal tender
(E Pluribus Unum)
MUST unite against
love affair with pistols, no matter
one or more mere mortals
think Matthew Scott cray ZEE
up in arms spouting
poetic license against
proliferation of firearms.

as one fairly long run on sentence
unwittingly made locally famous
courtesy residents here at
Highland Manor Apartments
as first one foot and then the other
painstakingly, and agonizingly dragged
across the cement walkway
making absolutely sure
the entire foot touches the ground,
(analogous to geriatric

version of the hokey pokey)
made like toe tilly particularly
more trip lee dangerous for valley girls,
and posing an obvious challenge,
when unspecified oblivious tenant
yakking away to themselves
unknowingly shakily shambles,
(which elderly folk blindly
risking life and limb),
while tethered to an oxygen tank

gingerly, precariously, and zanily
maneuvers a walker or wheelchair
while chatting vis a vis bluetooth;
(a short-range
wireless technology standard
used for exchanging data
between fixed and mobile devices
over short distances and building
personal area networks:
In the most widely used mode,

transmission power
limited to 2.5 milliwatts,
giving it a very short range
of up to 10 metres)
communication maintained thru
miniature electronic paraphernalia
videlicet, now returning
to aforementioned abandoned,
harried, and suspended lodger
left poised to strike hard surface,

when going about their routine task
additionally rendered cumbersome
as occupant carefully finagles
old gnarled bent fingers
to manipulate requisite fob,
(a handy dandy little device
that works on Radio Frequency Identification
(RFID) triggered courtesy
waving or tapping motion
of little plastic doodad)

near a corresponding reader,
and voilá – the door unlocks, -
which technology interestingly enough
linkedin to bit of curious history,
when remote keyless entry patented
in 1981 by Paul Lipschultz,
who worked for Neimans,
(a supplier of security components
to the car industry) and developed
a number of

automotive security devices:
His electrically actuated lock system
could be controlled
by using a handheld fob
to stream infrared data
automatically, electronically,
inevitably, and officially
granting permission for our inhabitant,
or unsuspecting intruder
(since very little – read none

security installed here)
to enter the front door,
presenting an unwelcoming
opportunistic, idealistic,
and antagonistic accident
about to happen if the track opening
and closing entryway portal
(bumped up against thin carpeting)
slightly bunched up
presents a raised lipped surface edge

(barely perceptible to those
who present a sight for sore eyes),
which uneven impediment
the literal downfall
for many a resident
at Highland Manor Apartment,
who tripped and fell ofttimes
sustaining significant injuries
to their fragile lovely bones.

Yours truly (an amazingly,
gracefully, and markedly modest
passively aging baby boomer -
formerly introverted long haired
pencil necked geek),
prattling wordsmith doth behold
nostalgic memories regarding father
(Boyce Brandon Harris)
long ago lapsed decades

during papa's prime time
many years past when complacence
existed about joie de vivre,
and considerations about mortality irrelevant,
where soothsayers promised
our family staying alive for eternity
few and far between instances found me
acting, exhibiting, illustrating brazenly bold
behavior, said rare spontaneity
the exception versus the rule,

hence following poem crafted
an endearment to those who begat me,
resorted to discipline, but NO spanking
ever since mama did cherish her little boy
scores of years before she passed away
at her death hands went limp and cold
as a shy lad his maternal and paternal parents
their virtues he extolled
contrary,  now healthy sexagenarian
born of sturdy genetic mettle

rumor claims I suckled magic potion,
cuz courtesy to preventative medicine
mother followed advice of Carlton Fredericks,
renown radio commentator
and writer on health and nutrition
ne'er did mine lovely bones buckle,
even when skinny body crushingly embraced
into loving maternal fold,
without doubt mama adored motherhood
and brood of three offspring

harmonized, memorialized, pampered...
the hardworking de facto breadwinner
late twenty something handsome groom fêted
born April 9th, nineteen twenty nine,
Brooklyn fortune teller travails foretold,
when the late Harriet Harris, not so gold
din as totally bewitched, she gamely evinced
controlling authoritarian versus
crooning, marveling, and warbling
regarding once "little monkey" - me,

which pet name no longer applied
shucked off brought to abrupt halt
as yours truly grew up,
and decried childhood's end
I experienced objection to thwart growing up,
and latched unto anorexia nervosa
countless moons ago,
when I biologically, emotionally sexually transitioned 
into socially withdrawn young man,
once indomitable omnipotent

mother/son bond ex post facto lost hold,
where once applicable theme
exemplifying Harris household
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
dramatically, markedly plummeting
formerly measurable appreciable tolerance,
similarly short tempered patriarch
( ~6'2” ~ 200 lbs at prime)
over any five members,
especially toward singular male offspring

timid, meek, and demure (effeminate) me,
essentially ruled the roost
regarding Harris household
sole son characterized vis a vis
presented passive resistant
outward nonestablishmentarian mold
worst case scenario
would witness Matthew Scott Harris
spending longevity old and feeble minded
at 324 Level Road

outliving parents, pets
(comprising inordinate
number of dust bunnies) and siblings
(an older and younger sister),
the latter whose globetrotting exploits I envied,
nevertheless outlived anyone polled
even Methuselah, where mein kampf
blissful, fanciful, nouveau poet
nearly long forgotten boyhood charade,
facade inlaid masquerade

crumbled like broken scaffold
attaining centenarian years old -
faintly maintaining umbilical stronghold
considerably surpassing mommy dearest,
born November 13th, nineteen thirty five,
yet moments before her passing
she barely audibly apologized
for occasions she did reprimand and scold
retaliated against grim reaper,
he whisked her diseased riddled body away
after completing seventy plus orbits, all told.

I experienced interminable
relentlessly psyche burning acrid
tormenting, teasing, and talking funny
bullying vulnerability compounded amid
courtesy of split uvula set me apart
alien as a Druid livingsocial
during latter half of twentieth
and first two decades of twenty first century
rather a speech pathologist
informed legal biological guardians

regarding Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic
minor congenital defect when
attending sixth grade at
Henry Kline Boyer Elementary
i.e., submucous cleft palate, aforesaid
whereby every day akin getting scorched
by some "NON FAKE" ironclad grid
me, this twangy nasal kid
my undersized and socially
withdrawn demeanor contributing
to existence tumultuous and turbid.

a house without gossips nor gonifs with the missus

Maybe a pair of stray eyes
will alight on my post
might subsequently manifest destiny
as a positive force
to help me secure
a moderately roomy dwelling place
whereby we hang figurative hats
(the writer of these words,
and his partner in rhyme - ha),
would feel ever so grateful
carriage house, domicile,
pied-à-terre, et cetera

to till and sow the land,
(a manageable sized garden patch)
harvesting the fruits and vegetables
blanching, canning, pickling,
preserving, et cetera
experiencing collective soulful
labor of love
witnessing a bumper crop
(of so called weeds - ha again)
sharing with family and friends
that which gets produced
videre licet sweat of our brow.

After moving out
from 324 Level Road
(after overstaying welcome, -
and wearing out welcome mat
which parents of mine made
quite evidently clear
as their second born and singular son
struggled acquiring
and maintaining gainful employment
as well as hopscotching
from one college/university o another
plus qualifying to get enrolled
into various and sundry
county training programs.

After the then girlfriend (eventual wife)
blithely forewent using birth control,
no surprise when she
discovered herself with child,
which expedited shotgun wedding
and necessitated us
to seek out accommodations,
which we luckily
found in Hatfield, Pennsylvania
only to quickly discover
the presence of water bugs
that did congregate underneath the sink.

Though yours truly rented
that first said apartment
than when lease did NOT get renewed,
a few other different units
within southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
throughout livingsocial
on this oblate spheroid
threescore and five orbitz
around the sun,

nevertheless a homing instinct
wired into these lovely bones, who recalls
with fond memories the residence,
where this sexagenarian spent
his growing up years
(long since razed
and replaced with vinyl city -
cookie cutter place of residence courtesy
Gambone brother building contractors.

An electronic SOS broadcast
on a wing and a prayer
if for no other reason
than to offer a doodling yankee
the pleasure to craft
a wish upon a star poem
but stark realization
raises an ugly head
reminding self proclaimed
(Shakespearean scribe - ha a third time)

hemmed in courtesy
severely pinched financial circumstances
in tandem whereby sole income,
and affordability to move into
other than low rural development
low-income housing facility and most likely
(bereft of life insurance)
unwittingly saddled
with fees associated with cremation,
the least costly to wallet and environment.

Wherever you might be holed up
within this whirled wide web wassup?

Mein kampf still equals board
hardscrabble existence deplored
analogous to Norwegian bachelor,
whose Lake Wobegon nestled within fjord
forcing me to hoard

memories regarding
our long ago short lived relationship
and mine present married life inured
absolutely zero points
within game of life scored.

Approximately three score
minus seven years ago
this then naïve and innocent
early twenty something,
now a middle aged,
diamond in the rough, jaded

two plus decades slavish
married male did not realize
his fair maiden perfect form,
she a capricorn
(who also shared
same January 13th birthday as myself,
though a half dozen
years Mycenae senior
hovered in mine immediate proximity,

a mere hello kitty whisker away,
which accompanying cat’s eye
soft nose smart pet appetite
saw me weight tool ******* up
to revere mother of pearl
opal mate ideal beau
now ex post facto finds
yours truly ruing
foregone soul mate to crow

in vain, though I cannot help pining
and lamenting where art thou – dow
ting she (MaryAnn Sage,
a young whirled, wide
webbed childless divorcee,
a couple of years shy of thirty)
ponders whereabouts
of this contemplative, furtive

and intuitive paramour, whence
swooning swain first experienced anew
an alien emotional lightness of being
within mine hardened carapace did brew
a propensity to surmise, intuit,
and detect a romantic joyful dew
drop similar to lovers in dustbin
of historical annals

dipped ‘ere farewell flew
common as the air we breathe,
this new found muse
sic cull passion grew
yet handled with kid gloves,
which lacked the means
to nurture and hue

a novel interpersonal ecstasy,
which with fits and starts knew
tony yen physics manifested
into a mutual attraction
despite any self-admission new
to this chap, whose skills
sans intimacy infantile

and as a result inadvertently caused grief
to a gal, (who valiantly
christened her vehicle Ruby)
hoping to stride down the pew
which outcome thwarted,
now tis much more

sands of mine lifetime
funneled down the
hourglass shaped queue
without any rhyme nor reason
find this bard **** to rue
how a golden opportunity indiscriminately

lost a flickr and sentiments
now akin to culinary
Michelin patschke stew
rather futile to ruminate
the long lapsed travails
that tripped a true
lee darling dame,

whose take on the matter,
this poet would cherish a view
yet….nary a clue exists if any possibility
to revisit that denouement recalling
the awkward fits and starts before
embers of warm reciprocity kindled
reciprocal an ambition to court,

jest and indubitably woo
to flip and shutterfly
at greased lightning speed
back to that contra dance
at Summit Presbyterian Church
at the crossroads of Green
and Westview Avenue.

Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in the mein
included an assortment of chow.

Impossible firm me
(read my bookish self
a schlepping schlemiel,
with schmaltz and chutzpah
stationed at Highland Manor
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania)
to compete with Adonis,
no way no chance
asthma gut busts over
waistband of sweatpants,
the choice couture,

asper this poet, who kant's
cease spewing regularly
(quotidian) raves and rants
years ago (another lifetime),
I partook of contra dance
(the most fun one can experience
while being clothed)
sing, (and most casual suitable
place to find romance)
plus burn calories matter of fact,
a milieu to buff and enhance

physique, while simultaneously
kibitizing with great expanse
of pleasant gals and guys
one must not be afraid to prance,
(albeit in accordance
with a caller on stage,
and maintain endurance)
synonymous with aerobic exercise,
and also women act flirtatiously
coquettishly, and amorously glance
sing and/or stealing a French fried

kiss, yup dashing all
the way out to France,
yet returning just in time
and adopting being proper,
or improper instance
all the while sustaining
the energetic activity over expanse
of a few hours (traditionally
held on Thursday evenings)
and for that block
of time held in a trance,

asper...analogous to
spellbinding arrow or lance
suspended part way thru flight,
cuz all troubles
temporarily melt away
which venue mentioned,
which small number
of bucks one did pay
to participate among
mine weekly highpoint,
where life liberty,

and pursuit of happiness
which place this then akin to a cray
zee lee whirling dervish, did pine
to spruced himself up,
and ready to hay
for four (analogous to two couples
tracing a figure eight
on the floor with their feet),
thus sped without delay
this bag of lovely bones hapt tubby
more more trim, unlike

less physically fit body of today
and scant finances find me
foregoing joyfully
listening to musicians play
and healthily exhausted
with closing waltz,
thence out tummy car,
yours truly did sashay
and promenade over the rainbow
acquiring spouse worth
more than fine spun gold,

cuzI met me beloved spouse,
(and biological mother
of me now deux grown daughters)
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania 19119
almost three decades ago,
where we did precariously
balance and swing and gypsy
while tenuously tethered
to a ladies chain.

I looked outside the bedroom window
here at B44 Highland Manor Apartments
today February 28th, 2021 low and behold
took stock of soundless grounded sideshow.

Barenaked lady, i.e. mother earth
partially sloughed off her downy soft negligee.

Where once ground enshrouded in lily white
courtesy albedo effect nature evinced twilight
no matter the post meridiem o'clock hour quite
re: many hours after dusk dark shadows absent
impossible mission to differentiate edge of night

from closing day as told once a pawn time knight
hence courtesy mine following reasonable rhyme
syncopated metered poetic feet tracks highlight
unblanketted silent burlesque risqué doth excite
eventually uncovers budding flora rooted birthright.

Though first of March will be here come the morrow,
nevertheless old man winter can still pack a judicious
punch without feeling regret or sorrow.

Without doubt, yours truly eagerly awaits the Spring
equinox - 5:37 Ante Meridian on Saturday, March 20
when warm temperatures (fahrenheit thermometer)
allow, enable, and provide ideal opportunity to bring
these lovely bones outside soon enough sparking me
to perspire, whereby beads of sweat on skin will cling
taking lock, stock, and barrel envying birds and bees
enjoying (gathering nectar from rosebuds) pollinating
while lads and lasses engage in flowering fling.

Soon enough hazy, hot humid dog days of summer
usher thunderstorms - follow bolts of jagged lightning
humbling one garden variety beetle browed being
awed by fantastic, electric, dynamic... atmospheric
phenomenon - ofttimes wreaking havoc tossing
large objects as if trappings of civilization plaything

meanwhile scaring the bejesus and living daylights
out of mortal creatures scrambling for safety during
tempestuous meteorological event, I would not miss
witnessing explosive ear splitting, deafening noise
reigning down on basket of deplorables trumpeting
supremacy over feeble attempts **** sapiens exert
qua Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).

Though the might of man puny compared/contrasted
with tremendous pent of energy released courtesy
planetary tectonic, meteorologic, and atmospheric
dynamic processes, one terroristic oaf clamors
to wrest powers latent within the gods, yet must be
stopped dead in his tracks lest democracy obliterated.

When a boy,
I wanted to be as tall as my father
(he passed away October seventh
two thousand and twenty
linkedin to congestive heart failure),
who stood at his prime
about six feet and two inches
and tipped the scales
close to two hundred pounds.

Teachers and other familiar adults
chimed in that though diminutive
(yours truly, he unwittingly offered himself
as the ideal scapegoat
courtesy being longitudinally challenged,
weighing no more than an ostrich feather,
and hashtagged as "the quietest student,"
a flower child of the ninety sixties
always kept mum every single day of school),
would unexpectedly experience
peak height velocity.

Neither at ages eighteen, nineteen, twenty...
sixty three, sixty four and sixty five
bore witness to any added inches,
which topped out
around my sixteenth birthday
approximately seventy inches tall
and attendant weight a scrawny
one hundred and
twenty five pounds or thereabouts.

Actually since graduating
from Methacton High School
two score and seven years ago,
my weight ballooned
an avoirdupois unit of weight
divided into 16 ounces,
and equal to 0.453 592 kilograms
approximately forty plus times
such said constituent parts
first thing in the morning
after eliminating evacuating
re:excreting ****** waste.

A preponderance of adipose tissue
long since upended my once upon a time
twenty nine inch waist.

Slab of flab protrudes from ab - feel free to grab!

What follows initially written
quite some years ago
when being skinny as a rail meant
no meat on these lovely bones,
thus hired myself out as scared crow,
now excess adipose tissue thy foe
losing battle partially explaining
why knight spends inordinate
amount of time in his grotto.

Twas an incremental
subtle expansion of waist
plus olympic challenge to tie shoes
most likely side effects of one
or all nine prescription medications
to stave off severe melancholy,
social anxiety, panic attack, et cetera
when yours truly merely
prepubescent self starvation courtesy
emaciated Anorexic skeletal ribcage

traced (about two score
and a baker's dozen years ago),
now whereby most everything
thy tongue doth taste
immediately delivered
a randy (new man) paunch
to former washboard six pack
smooth as a fresh application
of gesso like paste
readying fleshy canvass

for partially ****
self-portrait masterpiece
(adjacent to barenaked lady)
lived three doors down
depicting mine once perfectly,
(albeit one scrawny lad)
proportioned body electric laced
with flat as a washboard physique
unlike present disk graced
whereat when sending a photograph

of shirtless self-try with futility
utilizing photoshop to get erased
displeasing equatorial zone of anatomy
saddled with unwanted
fatty tissue that defaced
proportionate rock hard stomach
one generic measly slender adult man
about five foot and ten-inch build
evincing an aura of being chaste
gone forever analogous to temptation

gobbling house constructed
of cake and confectionery,
that nearly did likewise
to Hansel and Gretel
readying their not quite
plump enough bodies
tubby slathered with baste,
yet just in the nick of time
the two abandoned minors
actually removed courtesy

children, youth and
family services (CYS)
under care of adoption in sync
with ***** work
aced the sinister plot outwitting
cannibalistic cackling
croaking old woman
inducing all to break out into song -
singing the following tune
I learned in grade school.

Loose air into pipes and croon
solo loud enough audible to man in the moon.

Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
A doray-oh, A doray-boomday-oh
A doray-boomday ret set set
Ah say pah say oh.

while rifling thru outdated electronic drafts

Circa 6/30/ 2017 - Lost missing master car key...
plus additional ordinary travails affecting me
such as near bankruptcy, eviction from glow
er emitting landlady per expiration of lease
(June thirtieth two thousand ‘lo
seventeen, infestation of cockroaches
(little ones that look kinda cute), poe

tent shul hazards viz malfunction
of electricity outlets in this kitchen slow
burn the psyche of this Bryn Mawr,
Pennsylvania tenant
renting all the while tiptoe
wing thru tool hips toward dropping
into abyss of poverty, the latest woe.

Whip-sawing mice elf and minnie mouse…
cheeses mother f**king fate
constitutes master set of automobile keys
to drive our 2009 Hyundai Sonata
went missing of late
which unasked for quandary
finds both thy missus and her mate
fraught with increased angst evidenced

by tension around temple of pate
which headaches rare for me, but genetics
blessed this chap with top rate
anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder,
panic attacks…social schizoid state
thus complementing my deprivation
from pounding migraine
akin to psychological battlefield tete a tete

with ability to function the casualty
of mortal kombat “war”
and fast loosing weight
do to physiological symptoms
re: nausea, palpitating heart, vertigo
barely contain via cocktail of medications,
which ordinarily ameliorate
aforementioned wracking symptoms,

that most definitely invite suicide as bait
rather than besieged vis a vis
inner maelstrom doth create
but death not readily agreeable to me,
cuz if escorted by grim reaper….
that would be the first and final date
though, Matthew Scott Harris
remains alive - mailer demons

viciously claw in an attempt to eviscerate
as descent of black crows,
(whose eyes widen
like black eye peas) and gravitate
to this wrecked vestige of
generic chap, who doth hate
above iterated series
of unfortunate events
(move over Lemony Snicket)
I tried to illuminate

aware that artistic pursuits
in one form or another
could be cathartic, fantastic,
intrinsic…magic, that could
somehow solve thee crisis,
which critical reliance on driving thine car,
a present topic de jure source
of irritation drive me to impersonate
convincingly in situ, a lunatic madman
fit to be tied or strapped

in straitjacket and duct taped mouth,
whereby arms and legs rapt
with attentive experimental scientists
intently observing
viciously jagged oscillations
of sinusoidal curves mapped
omnipotent bound by super strong

steel magnolia derived wires
fixed to mine numb skull held –
with chrome dome capped
upon mine head whereby electrodes
send shock waves so
for the present and immediate future,
I can be a zombie and adapt.
help me if you can hi yam feeling down....
(no longer relevant)
since every aforementioned line written,
cuz me and the spouse
long since left said town.

Omnipresent grief and horror
abounds toward ceaseless killing fields
impossible mission for me
to summon forth fading magic powers
since Delilah imposter hashtagged,
(and subsequently outed)
as a mortal (know your) enemy, -
nevertheless became the love of my life -
(sent by complicit
Philistine officials to entice me)

nearly found yours truly
inveigled, ensnared, and ambushed
in sinister plot to lop off
cherished locks of love
while immersed in deep sleep,
when I came to just in the nick of time,
and wrested control by grabbing scissors
being violently brandished
courtesy turncoat paramour,
a mere hair breath away

from snipping brunette tresses of mine:
luckily a surge of strength
coursed thru body electric
allowing, enabling and providing me
golden opportunity
to don invisible cloak of invincible
and trumpet genuine ambition dash off
to the Middle East
shucking any intent to proselytize,
but availing these

threescore and five year old
helping hands of mine
never subjected to laborious
rigorous back breaking work,
and matter of fact I figuratively
and literally short changed myself
courtesy mental health issues
that plagued yours truly
even as a young lad
forever ostracized, intimated, and excluded

predicated upon diminutive
physical mite size boy
noticeably socially withdrawn,
and when I did stammer out an utterance
the vocalization soundedly severely nasal
(envision thumb and index finger
of one or the other hand
clamping the nostrils)
attributed to submucous cleft palate,

a congenital defect of the palate,
which forms the roof of the mouth;
said cleft (or opening)
located underneath the mucous membrane,
which the tissue that covers
the roof of the mouth:
A submucous cleft affects the uvula,
which is the long tissue that hangs
from the back of the palate.

After years of wearing a removable
oral prosthetic device -
(since surgery could only guarantee
a fifty fifty outcome of correction), -
said contrivance latched onto
front upper and rear teeth
the surrounding strengthened
to decrease high pinched sound.

Unsure if and/or how whimsical notion
(to volunteer in whatever humble capacity)
yours truly could bring to fruition
to ease the humanitarian crisis
since abundance of individual strands
thinned since prime (mating) years
witnessed a visible thinning
and concomitant ebbing of prowess

sorely affects brute strength
of one ailourophilic, generic,
and politic wordsmith
feeling blessed with soundness
of body, mind and spirit
courtesy of the English language,
hence drawn to the milieu of communication
in general and writing in particular.

Although yours truly modest,
the only personal issue
I will lightly boast about
constitutes lingering

self worthlessness bred
if not prior to first grade,
than most definitely incipient,
academic deadlines

loomed large with dread
and exacerbated by procrastination
quickly adopted as linchpin
****** obsessive compulsive
currents (i.e. thoughts) fed
modus operandi, which intricate
schema writ over lifetime invisible
within this talking head

who ironically enough
never uttered a beep
engendered from lack
of confidence, esteem,

somehow worthlessness,
insignificance,
emasculation, et cetera
took root, and didst leap

(axon to neuron)
and said mindset did seep
percolating into every nook,
and cranny comprising

aging shades, transformed
gray matter, sans this
beatle browed ******, a deep
purple, though easily mistaken

for minuscule Uriah Heep,
or perhaps, ewe might notice,
(albeit while in a sheep
push disposition) similarities

between mine fist
sized thinker, and another creep
*** totally tubular Charles Dickens
character, or maybe

even a commercial
for nanobot sized jeep
grand Cherokee keep
up a moderate clip despite,
and/or because I
oft times feel a light
buzz sensation within me quite
average gummed up noggin
jammed numb skull,
(essentially barren aged

teenage wasteland recently
undergoing gentrification),
(yeah how really) excite
ting, a no brainer fright
fully glommed with peevish
gobbledygook plus worthless,
obsolete, and crammed academic right
hand busily twiddling, scribbling,
and sloppily drafting
error riddled assignments

deliberately failing heavily
marked with bright
colors adding oomph
to mental blight
punctuated by
attaining puny height
(...oh, about seventy inches,
nonetheless, my slight
physique and mute quiet
as a mouse, I might

as well hove been a stand in
for Charlie Brown right
down to tree eating kite
good grief - never an ending fight
with Lucy, hence now this knight
in rusty armor forever
disparaged his might
and attests to
20/20 hindsight
analogous to Snoop doggy dog.

impossible mission of mine to bare witness
whereby mine (***** rubble) puny *******
describes a bent shaft, particularly when cap
locks on first observed by the missus when
we consummated *******, though nicht
married, cuz the rutting urge overtook both
of us 24/7, 365 days year not omitting the
leap day, which arose because planet Earth
doth circle around the sun within 365 days,
5 hours 48 minutes and forty six seconds
to orbit the nearest star, according to NASA,
and while that calculation (rounded down
established by Nicolaus Copernicus in the
16th century, when he proposed heliocentric
model - quite controversial to the church ladies -
upending geocentric theory placing the Sun
at the center of the solar system, with Earth
orbiting around it; his theory was detailed
in his book "De Revolutionibus Orbium
Coelestium" published in 1543) to three
hundred and sixty five days, we - twenty
first century **** sapiens, recognize as
a typical year, those nearly 6 extra hours
do not conveniently disappear bitta bing
bitta bitta bang: I recognize omission of
most chitty word choice, but latched on
to a song which shares the same name
as the movie, a 1968 children's musical
adventure film directed by Ken Hughes
and produced by Albert R. Broccoli (not
necessarily the guy kids wanna blame for
their favorite vegetable) starring **** Van
****, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries,
Gert Fröbe, Anna Quayle, Benny Hill,
James Robertson Justice, Robert Helpmann,
Heather Ripley and Adrian Hall driving the
innovative idea (credited to Julius Caesar,
who introduced it as part of Julian calendar,
adding another extra day every four years
to more accurately align the calendar after
segueing into the Gregorian calendar, a solar
calendar used in most parts of the world today
based on the Earth's revolution around the sun
and named after Pope Gregory XIII introduced
in 1582) with the solar year; essentially
making him the "inventor" of the leap year
added to account for the difference.

Survival of one wreath speck table insect,
(poll ease pod din me Elmer Fudd speak)
thus earning hardy laurels
nsync with inxs of standing kudos
ranking as bajillion year old species
scientific name: Periplaneta americana
(Linnaeus)  Insecta: Blattodea: Blattidae)
throve for more than 300 million years,
not surprisingly they constitute
one of the oldest groups of insects on the earth.

Longevity of twittering, skittering,
and buzzfeeding critters survival
witnessed their collective essence being gifted
with best in class adaptation techniques
particularly with debut appearance of naked ape
slowly evolving into modern (wo)man,
(after God - somewhat cagily
took a rib from Adam),
who when not resembling a rolling stone,
nor asking sympathy for the devil
furiously drove beasts of burden
into dire straits down to the waterline.

Much as yours truly feels squeamish
about the the humble cockroach,
(who most likely piggybacked as stowaway
courtesy unbeknownst to people
and hitched a ride across
all four corners
of the webbed wide world
essentially becoming globetrotters),
I chose said topic to broach
as an object lesson how one creature

namely aforementioned adaptable
creepy crawly creature
made themselves quite at home
raiding the pantries and refrigerators
across wide stratification
of income earners,
not exclusively the purview
solely nor singularly
circumscribed and described
by under-resourced people
most often found

living and reproducing
in cluttered city streets, parks,
subway tunnels, and sewer systems—
as well as inside houses
and ramshackle buildings
frequently woebegone tenements
not strictly linkedin
with Norwegian bachelor farmers
but also make cameo appearances
inside the coiffed hair of trumpeting dons
subsequently hobnobbing with glitterati.

German cockroaches are known for their prolific reproduction, with a female capable of producing up to 4 to 6 egg cases (oothecae) in her lifetime, each containing around 30 to 40 eggs. Under optimal conditions, they can go from egg to reproductive adult in as little as 100 days.

Cockroaches prefer dark places because they are nocturnal, so you will barely see them during the day. Hence, you will see them scuttle to hide when you turn on the basement or bathroom lights.

Thus yours truly attests
to become easily spooked
out of his skin,
and prone to utter bejesus
then subsequently and immediately
apt to swoon into a heap
of lovely bones
after espying a fast moving dark shape(s)
videre licet pronouncing exaggerated silhouette
cast courtesy moon shadow
outsize profile shimmying and shaking
across the outer limits of the twilight zone
delineated by structures of silence.

Imagine dragons exudation regarding fiery breath,
which scary scene would not faze me in the least,
cuz I would whip out my handy dandy blue's clues
and extinguish flaming forks courtesy water hose.

When the entire mug awash
with floating leavings
by golly by gosh,
sipping said herbal brew
analogous challenge
to eat spaghetti squash
with one chopstick.

Earlier yesterday February twenty fourth
two thousand twenty four
found yours truly (me)
blithely consuming delicious
La COLOMBE DOUBLE LATTE
cold iced latte, complete
with a frothy layer
of milk and a touch of sugar.

Lower gastrointestinal war civil
immediately declared
because yours truly beleaguered
by lactose intolerance.

Courtesy veritable sweet tooth
(er...rather dentures)
craved absolute zero sum game yoking,
wickedly villainous, x'acting tummy
upsetting Pavlovian salivating, romancing,
quid pro quo woe pea pie us, orthodox,
conventional, nun habit forming (Lie),
mouth watering, lip locked, kickstarting,
Je Suis ill lust trios, hymn bracing,
gobstopping, feasting immediate laxative
inducing, decadent chocolate baneful

cake courtesy of adoring bubela, (the
same over stuffed ego freezer oft
mentioned counterpart, who unwittingly
prepared spot of tea), charming,
hugely overpowering tenderly loving
zee missus diabolically exuding
"FAKE" gracious humane insinuating
jabbering, knowingly ill loo man hating,
needful offal pestiferous quasi rip
snorting, **** under fire, violent

whooshing, expelling xyz lower
abdominal contractions, indubitably
kindling, jumpstarting instagramming
howling, fostering execrable, debilitating,
besieging posterior, automatically
clutching derriere, experiencing ferocious
gluteus maximus intractable jabbing, knifing,
lacerating, mutilating nameless oaf (me),
painfully quaking das simian, torturously
undergoing vicious wretched excessive
yawping worse fate than death!

Otherwise *** hide from irritable bowel
syndrome approximately
twenty four hours ago
from Saturday February twenty fifth
two thousand twenty four
me quite yawningly wonderful, uneventful,
sedate, quiet, ordinary, mundane, languid,
joyously humdrum, fabulously for
two whit tuss lee drab
characterized local buttuck blaster
also hashtagged endearment
as bubble ****.

Now shall I cut thee a slice of outrageously
luscious, keister jump/kick starting heavenly
gourmet deluxe cheese cake?

I politely ask for uncontested support
campaign contribution promoting me
an aging sexagenarian baby boomer
groveling by (and supporting the Frau
royal highness, (heretofore known as
the missus) solely courtesy social sic
(an abbreviation of the Latin phrase
"sic erat scriptum" - which means
"thus was it written)" security disability
which unearned and untaxed income
divvied up to pay Consumer Cellular,
Verizon FIOS, Hyundai Elantra auto
loan to Ally Bank, PECO, Apple Cloud
services, splurging on indulgences
Netflix, SiriusXM for commercial free
radio while we drive to and fro hither
and yon, plus my own valuable worth
the while to read (cover to cover) small
number of reliable socially progressive
publications such as TIME Magazine,
The Week, The Nation, Smithsonian,
and Mother Jones buzzfeeding yours
truly valuably indubitably reliable, and
currently, locally, and globally notable
events to keep abreast of impossible
mission characterizing changing mean
drama (nail biting action) played out
across the webbed, wide world stage
speculating how willing the average
Tom, ****, or Harry blithely gives
money to the political candidate of
their choice, but if I matter of factly
asked for money (even a measly one
dollar bill), a hooting and hollering
would ensue, nevertheless experiment
prompted me to broadcast an honest to
dog communiqué greatly beseeching an
anonymous reader to support your local
******, whose nest egg whipsawed by
egregious thieving unscrupulous fraudsters
posing as (fake) Apple technicians after
hacking into my MacBook Pro (Retina,
15-inch, Mid 2015) essentially hitting me
with a double whammy initially locking
access to become linkedin to stored data
unless I called a toll free number only to
unwittingly fork over a large sum of money
after being blindsided that Citizen Bank imp
ploy ease colluding to siphon every red cent
constituting checking and saving accounts to
this day approximately seventeen plus months
after I got royally bilked, fleeced, scammed,
et cetera, and no success after posting a blurb
on Gofundme, an idea got hatched just today
to adopt the guise of a political nowhere man
shaking figurative tin cup on the cusp of holly
days trying to elicit altruistic responsiveness
from any pair of eyes that peruse the contents
of my poetic plea gently plucking heartstrings
to finance life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
for one mortal male who shortchanged himself
more'n his halflife ago socially withdrawn from
the countless opportunities to risk saying hello
to a pretty little thang, which painful shyness
predated availability of powder milk biscuits
made from whole wheat raised in the rich
bottomlands of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers; so you know
they're not only good for you, but pure... mostly.

I led a boring life.
The end.

All joking aside, now the epilogue.

As a bookish fellow born January 13th,1959
he attended school and got promoted
as a mediocre student,
who honestly nearly failed every grade
courtesy my nasty, short
and brutish doppelgänger,
who nixed, sabotaged, waylaid
me a little boy blue
(nothing but a representation of innocence),
who felt depressed
at the prospect of experiencing childhood's end,
and essentially tried to starve himself to death
courtesy Anorexia Nervosa
but mother dearest intervened
being a licensed practical nurse
whipped up in the blender
heaping spoonfuls of bananas,
molasses, wheat germ, et cetera
a veritable smoothie
à la pureed fruit drink
(harkening popularity
of said liquid refreshment
in Mediterranean
and Eastern cultures for centuries),
nevertheless, she possessed alchemical wizardry
to turn straw into gold,
she learned secret from "Rumpelstiltskin,"
matter of fact
as first and only born son
of Harriet and Boyce,
they willingly surrendered
their scrawny screaming newborn
to the imp of the pervert brainchild
(predicated upon phrase caveat emptor)
of an anonymous author popularized
courtesy a German fairy tale
collected by the Brothers Grimm in the 1812,
hence no surprise
the biological woman
(then in her mid/late thirties)
who birthed me
in the webbed wide world,
possessed the knick knack paddy whack
ways and means
to make grim reaper skadaddle
and make him temporarily scarce
during his debut appearance,
nevertheless suicidal ideation
schemes brooded but never hatched
nor became manifest destiny
throughout mein kampf
though the thought
to overdose on fluoxetine
(generic for Prozac)
does flit hither and yon,
to and fro within the nooks and crannies
of sixty six year old
nearly petrified gray matter,
which body electric of mine
will be dedicated to science
with the knowledge me Abby Normal brain
bringing descendent of Doctor Victor Frankenstein's
tech savvy monster of the future
to life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
purely generated like fine spun gold,
courtesy artificial intelligence,
yet possessing a characteristic glimmer
of the donor's aura, charisma,
karma, persona, et cetera,
an unexceptional human,
he Matthew Scott Harris
led (and still lives)
a humdrum existence
(fifty years ago the tract
and once sprawling estate
known as “Glen Elm”
happened to be in the sticks)
within southeastern
Montgomery County Pennsylvania
smarting from continually exhibiting hesitancy
to engage in the thick scrum of life
rather yours truly
figuratively and literally sat on the sidelines
never being asked
to join patriot or reindeer games,
and when I got reluctantly linkedin (courtesy default)
with a particular team,
the other members
frowned and rolled their eyes
and sighed with resignation
stuck with the last person picked
aware that an immediate deficit
got consigned to them
guaranteeing disruption
to unbroken winning streak
acquiring the appellation of "loser"
and other attendant colorful epithets
long before Trump
popularized said sobriquet
even though both my parents
contributed their fair share
of verbally traumatizing mine psyche,
allowing, enabling and providing myself
as figurative punching bag,
nevertheless I out did receiving abuse
inflicting denigration of self by a long stretch
courtesy chance discovery
of self directed emasculation
experiencing emotional death by a thousand cuts
permanently scarring the body, mind,
and spirit triage
of he who wrote these words,
which modus operandi of literary expression
offered him, especially in his later life
(after the passing of those
who begat him and eagerly subscribed
to the biological urge to reproduce and adage
"be fruitful and multiply,"
a phrase from Genesis 1:28 where,
a blessing and a command
related to procreation and population growth)
a catharsis and therapeutic exercise.

Which acknowledgement ought to be year round,
similar to altruistic, humanistic, and philanthropic
unconditional acceptance and respect
crafted with the following words
mostly written January 23rd, 2023,
cuz I, (a sexagenarian married Caucasian male)
get goosebumps when learning
about individuals, (whose skin color
spans the color spectrum)
contributed invaluable positive deeds
(not necessarily done dirt cheap),
yet impacted civilization in general,
and yours truly in particular
being analogously thunderstruck with awe.

more apropos and alternately titled:
praise to thee people
of variegated melanin color,
whose immense understated improvements
and enhancement of webbed wide world
worth more than paltry words
of yours truly can communicate.

Though I yam spud during Caucasian,
tis rightful to honor that most bitter
racist genocidal crime,
nevertheless ovation qua
treated worse than pestilential critter
quintessential significant contribution
vis a vis that doth litter
anonymous multitudinous peoples
many unknown dark skinned souls
bravely fought as non quitter
with melanin so **** sitter
this asthma feeble attempt
made to mind of literate
parent, guardian or sitter
adorn aye rhythmically twitter

to **** Sapiens with Negroid color
(please pardon any unintentional slight)
who, despite being human *******
managed to adorn
worthy contributions to society,
though an American (though not so proud
until death do me part)
and civilization since time immemorial
hence, I wanna pay poetic homage

to persons born
akin to diversity exemplifying gamut
analogous to Indian (Jimmy crack) corn
debased brutally and forlorn
and raised in cornucopia horn
of plenty with rare serf tenderness
whipped by wicked task masters
from the crack of morn,
whipped, pummeled, beaten...
courtesy Jim Crow whose dignity shorn
aye cannot fathom why

a great proportion of humanity
must struggle on scraps of subsistence
viz with fifty plus shades of chocolate
vile shamefully opprobrious sworn
vengeance toward those
via heroic efforts escaped,  
manacled, tortured, et cetera history
as slaves an existence
until...pacified family dislocated
sans rent asunder, ripped and torn.

Once a proud family akin to Brady
bunch, now brutally, nasty
and short lived poorly destitute
(case in point) like Haiti -
once a nation extant with cultural finery
insidiously ***** pink "Lady"
lacerated odiously robbing
unique peoples as owners didst slay
practically naked "Primates"

encaged like wild animals in zoos
culturally robbed while
abhorrently marched in ones and twos
shredded souls without shoes
(analogous to persecuted Jews)
of singular ambition to break shackles
fielding exorbitant dues,
through tightly fused
linkedin manacles to life as they choose.

This just one example of many peoples
UNFAIRLY subjected
to subservience and exempt
from enjoying the fruits of their labor.

January twelfth two thousand and ten
original date a portion
of this communiqué writ then
kept wedged where in no wise
bore visual witness
vis a vis near annihilation and destruction
of African, Haitian,
South American, et cetera nations
whereby countless/ nameless individuals
e’en the strongest Herculean type men
crushed by humungous slabs of

building facades practically
demolishing every creation
since this island settled, which
indigenous tribes sought safety  
in any geologic den
seeking solace and salvation
from wrath of nature
by paying obeisance via oblation
perhaps giving credence to clear water
in tandem with rooster and hen
that laid a golden egg

and chicken thing, especially
as encroaching savages affected violation
particularly when Europeans
foisted forfeiture of land
with primitive implement like pen
no matter that travesty, trickery, mockery,
et cetera wrought humiliation
pleading invaders to forsake
such actions that rent asunder
culture beseeched god when
these hashtagged brutish, nasty

and (shortish) Hobbesian simians
to cease desecration,
yet the peoples of this dominion rose
from the ashes like the phoenix like bird
no mattered genetic pool underwent
white washing from scouring influx
from western thumping proselytizers,
which alien beliefs hard to swallow like curd
basically bribery (with lustrous trinkets)
ah those coveted legal tender
upon emancipation proclamation cessation

to sell men, women and for x amount of bucks
akin to the soundcloud winged fowl clucks
foisted/ forced the unpleasant alternative
(wanton slaughter) to be clearly heard,
yet within the very fiber of tropical
mangrove persons patiently
lined up their ducks
and declared as one of the first
African American peoples
INDEPENDENCE to be the word
whence adulation, elation, inspiration echoing
across ramshackle greensward.

I tip figurative hat to the late Cathy Robertson, longtime (lifetime) Thomas Paine Unitarian Church member, who unwittingly and quite casually made mention of contra dancing, which inopportunely, inextricably, and inaccurately linkedin to The Contras who were various United States backed and funded right-wing rebel groups that were active from 1979 to 1990 in opposition to the Marxist Sandinista Junta of National Reconstruction Government in Nicaragua, which had come to power in 1979 following the Nicaraguan Revolution.

After a hiatus of scores of years,
I in tandem with the missus
returned to a venue
March 14th, 2024
which Thursday night dances
currently held at Commodore
John Barry Arts and Cultural Center
6815 Emlen Street,
Philadelphia, PA 19119
that not only served
as palliative per bashfulness,
but even remedied
yours truly resigned himself living social
as a Norwegian bachelor farmer.

Life as a high school wallflower served me
analogous as The Idler Wheel Is Wiser
Than the Driver  of the *****
and Whipping Cords
Will Serve You
More Than Ropes Will Ever Do
without any budding female friendships
until lo… a gent tulle mandate
from my late mother uprooted me
from mein kampf

familiar bedrock level road terrain
(analogous regarding how
a duck takes to water -
meaning I identified said aerobic
rather cardiovascular workout
as an inherent quick study),
which venue offered a groundswell
of interpersonal opportunities
(preferably with persons of female gender)
to blossom forth

into golden sterling resplendent rod
of natural equipoise
(this an unbiased opinion) and balance
with freestyle élan begetting
improvisational swinging motions
unchained from the moors of formality
and lit figurative Saint Elmo’s
Sesame Street fiery dance
allowing, enabling and providing
this shy awkward self

during his young (emerging) adulthood
to cast away four ever
thy self embroidered handsome
straight as an arrow
naturally high as a kite young guy
buzzing like a yellow jacket,
thus liberating spontaneity
that je ne sais quoi joie vivre
clamoring headlong toward venus
from healthy pistol packing

overflowing bin laden
well nigh testosterone
erupting male member
toward opposite gender,
whereby bravado donned as key
to *** field of whet dreams
fostering initial albeit late blooming
roll in the hay hormonally
rooted rutting squeal.

Back in the day,
(when genders binary)
with nary a care
in the webbed wide world
I ate, breathed and lived
for contra dancing
experiencing social anxiety
and profusely sweaty palms
every mile of the way
(twenty door to door dash)

from (at that time)
324 Level Road
to then designated site
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street,
Philadelphia, PA 19119,
where love's labor lost
found yours truly
engaged in pitched losing battles
introducing yours truly

(even after expiating my carnal sins)
to romantic liabilities incurred
while displaying comedy of errors,
when risking a overtures to ask
an attractive woman to be my partner
not only for one dance,
but also to explore the parameters
of fun two people can experience
while wearing clothes.

buoyed me aloft beyond
outer limits of the twilight zone
where dark shadows
lurked along green acres
creating hee haw sounds.

Aforementioned adventure
occurred countless years ago,
nevertheless psychological
repercussions persist
to this April eighteenth
two thousand and twenty three.

I admit not to be
that personality type,
who takes seat
of the pants dare
devilish death defying acts,
but remains on the straight
and true, yet still quite aware,
a series of unfortunate events
may arise clear
out of the blue, no matter

the weather temperate,
moderate and fair
nonetheless, this rather innocuous
no sweat whim methought
to raise cushioned
"supposedly **** intending
for height adjustable"
comfortable office chair,
thus fingers toyed with
this, that, or another lever

(envision finger pointing
under padding for rear),
thus nonchalantly, I blindly
jiggled one hand size pedal
appurtenance after another,
when lo and behold
whew ohhh....nooo...,
whoo ahh, way up into
the rarefied atmosphere,
yours truly did unexpectedly

vertically set sail
way past the timberline,
then OUCH each ear
snapped, crackled, and
popped, then suddenly
this chap buoyed aloft,
went temporarily deaf, oh no...,
now get this aside being
unable to hear
the sun at high altitude

creating blinding glare,
meanwhile propulsive
****** sent me career
ring at light speed, whereat
at the least one shiver
ran down my spine
raising each small hair,
but the biggest fright
arose upon just missing
(by the skin of my teeth),

hence reason I wear dentures
colliding into a Lear
jet, no doubt the pilot,
(and motley crue) near
lee went berserk (indicated by
the dramatically erratic flight pattern),
which did appear
to shrink in size mere
lee, the rapid transit,
which wind shear

felt like a bajillion
pounds per square
inch of pressure tear
ring, pushing, and pulling
my body in all directions
pirouetting me like
a whirling dervish
spinning ever farther
distant from Earth
by many a light year!