(a stout rendition of O Captain! My Captain!
Perfect rhythmic rhyme with tonic
when the doth ale).

Mine eyes espy the glory per the ending
of another work day beckon Baileys Irish Creme
with Absolut certainty that Fireball named Brandy
the Patron Crown Royal abets dream
quest proof positive to expunge stressful Boss
distilling this cooked Grey Goose a gleam
with nary a clue how my ceaseless toiling efforts
play within the lager corporation scheme
assigning exemplary skills and talents within
what appears to be a ******* up losing team.

No exit out this grueling
twenty first century rat trap
when The Chips Are Down,
whereby Scotch chief en gin that air
except to drawn displeasure
and wallow in sorrows
downing ***** or house brand beer
despite  drunken state
erodes axons and synapses
snap like chattering teeth of broken gear
quickly cause tenuous grasp on queasy reality,
sanity, and tenacity rent asunder and tear.

Now that work day done
at long last, not a moment
to tally date with Jack Daniels to delay
this linkedin the conga line wants to wash away
sounds of barked orders *** bling – may
king me insides writhing
with anger as if type cast
in diabolical formidable, horrible play
whereby each active scene increases assistance
for Johnny Walker to glide and sashay.

Argh, how those last remaining minutes to escape
hubbub tick away at the pace of a snail
to these myopic eyes, which suspect manager
surreptitiously turns back clock hands male
lush hiss lee deliberately toys with sanity, thus
seek counsel from Jimmy Beam without fail
when super tramping head honcho will cease
cheap trick renouncing cruel act with ale.

Without schmaltz, Hops, skips and jumps
inebriation welcomes me by rendering taps
receding thoughts of being bound, cramped,  
and emulsified in dark cubicle Schnapps
as if invisible taut cord tears into virtual tatters
and this life of Wry lee loosed like *****
from shredded material trailing a tail that
rivals tales of Aesop's.

That  ambler liquid of the gods soothes palate
and tongue helps a  comfortably numb
feeling to settles within thine body electric
dulling the senses with heavy eyelids plum
met to close shut tight riding the wave of ecstasy,
reflecting about dad and late mum
though come the morrow, a hangover with
sensation akin to Gunter Grass
loud internal tin drum.

Upon rising sober with total amnesia sans
pandering as a buffoon
realizing fallacious gimcrackery while ensconced
in fermented cocoon
an email fried off from the top dog quickly
reminded yours truly how I did goon
off the rails, perhaps cuz of living within
a trackless caboose
August sized wife named June
adept at belting out
and playing Claire de lune.

Back approximately half my life ago
dissociative disorder
if qualified to self diagnose
mein kampf psychological state...

I lacked emotions where others concerned.

That refrain replayed itself,
when wife picked up
(like a broken record),
where parents left off
before they entered
another dimension
(maybe the fifth)
of space and time
(hosted courtesy Rod Serling),
where yours truly (me)
repeated until blue in the face
don't hock my chinik
to the missus lest
a potential crime scene
draws The Mod Squad.

Though she ceased reiterating
magnum opus of colorful epithets
towards me, daunting effort
well nigh impossible to ignore
daily USDA over dosage
stinging derogatory, heavily re: tar did
psyche stunted, wrathful
verbal artillery fire remains with me
to this moment in tandem,
and keep lock step company with malicious
noxious obloquy pilloried,
quotidian rate sundering unsung
vitality within zealous
aspiring bookish chap.

Daily eruptions
from glowering Hercules
inundated, jack-knifed, linkedin
fin de sic cull nursing offal
personal quaking resentment stewing
toxic watershed unleashed veritable,
red hot wrath, undermining vivacity
within yawping seething, tormenting
uber vitality wreaking
yours truly x ***** she hating,
killing motives of papa querulously,
rabidly scathing, terrorizing

sole son, who for better
part of marriage underwent
lighter version of invectives
cutting me down to size,
asper zero self worth, though
calmer days prevailed between
 huzz-band and spouse, yet nonetheless
indelible imprimatur undeniably
etched overtop palimpsest
raw hide of self esteem.

Twas quite recently,
this heir indubitably coaxed sea legs,
more so regarding self acceptance
felt emboldened,
empowered, and emancipated
from invisible shackles
bounding (akin to Gulliver)
a dire straightened situation.

Thru auspices of divine help
(then Lower Merion counseling offices)
professional psychiatrists
psychologists quelled
retaliatory spiteful treatment
upon banshee hushed heads
(high school peers,
parents and fiendish ghoul-
lash humans) intently joyously kindled,
lamentable mean name calling
(though sticks and stones
ne’er hurled venality broke
lovely bones), the sheer redundancy
to remain passive
internalizing verbal cut throat,
villainous wicked yik yaks zapped
ambition to fight back,
and desire to live.

Characteristics against cross purposes
predated onset of bullies took delight
feigning Brutus Maccabeus
lashing at diminutive, harried,
and introverted Capricorn
incessantly lambasted, ostracized,
and repulsed from LivingSocial
hermetically sealing within bubble wrap,
could not thwart nor deflect
piercing poison tipped daggers
puncturing outermost covalent shell,
reminiscent pock marks from yesterday.

Though cessation of banal, devilish frothing
at mouth nastiness no longer prevails,
an inordinate number
of bumped ugly chronologically
bereft experiences, detached, estranged,
fostered knee-**** reactions
against socialization, brought
to light this moment
pregnant revelation no need
to discern what cauterized alienation.

Seeds of white lily
begot ordinary individual
(now middle aged male
lxv passages around black hole sun)
accepts schizoid personality disorder
born free and clear
within utero bolstered
by external forces
finds me aware essential core being
alive absent til death do me part.

My humble apology
for inducing thee
to manure yourself
thru figurative following ****,
best flushed down the toilet
of the behavioral sink
why yours truly wretchedly reaches out
cuz I never experienced popularity
as witnessed like craze of yoyo hula hoop
impossible mission to categorize
one feeble hominid specimen as belonging
to **** sapiens group,

nor doth mine spiel attempt to dupe
luck hate, or sell thee anything
except the pleasure
of befriending, daring ye to risk
fondling me buttucks -
their shiny happy cheeks,
cuz that came fresh out of a shower
whatever twerks for flirting
maybe even an affectionate boop
thankfully me schnoz
just cute as a button
and said nosu not outsize nor adroop.

Yours truly solitudinarian by default;
Nevertheless, I recognize the necessity
to evince good humored nature.

I evince amazingly graceful social politesse,
whether non verbal acknowledgement
courtesy a genuine smile
or querying passerby
with cheery non-threatening risky
"how art thou?"

Hence a poem embedded
within aforementioned poem
Acta non verba... speaks volumes.

The above ad hoc Latin catchphrase,
which means 'Deeds not Words'
(concatenated with two English words),
I regale chance reader
immediately sets saddles ablaze
title of poem with timeless adage,
aptly suits this solitary
older male, whose daze
spent on planet Earth

aimless, colorless, goalless,
and objectless curriculum vitae
configures a zigzag maze
significant blocks of time
poorly aye now appraise
and rue so little forethought
wrought starry eyed glaze
amiss to any Amish,
colonial, horse drawn observer

passing by in their chaise
puzzled, asper my
doggone catatonic gaze
indicative as if me mind
lost in a foggy haze
yours truly attests,
concurs, he now flays
chastises, fulminates, lays
hard and heavy lament,

albeit cloistered frivolous,
lackadaisical, unproductive... ways
apathetic, estranged, indifferent...
ambivalent state comatose phase
toward life, when at young age
lacked joie de vivre evincing braise
zen lee oblivious zombie behavior
upon quick observation displayed craze
zee demeanor synonymous

with institutionalized craze
zee wardens of the state,
and at present realize futility to raise
hullabaloo, when 20/20 hindsight
shines figurative light on
how appeared to laze
about lost in space,
within outer limits
of my own twilight zone ways.

stimulated courtesy follicles,
where Coconut, Olive, Grapeseed,
Jojoba, Amla and Vitamin E oils
allowed, enabled,
and provided head start
germinating peach fuzz into brown strands
after Flaxseeds, Pumpkin seeds and Fenugreek
being sprinkled on my scalp
yielded a bumper crop of hirsute weeds
occasionally tripping me up

analogous to hallucinogen
causing a public health hazard
warranting, necessitating, and goading me
to give shout out for stylist
to tender mine lovely brunette locks,
which might be repurposed into a wig
for patients undergoing chemotherapy,
or afflicted with alopecia,
(the partial or complete absence
of hair from areas of the body
where it normally grows; baldness).

As a knobby kneed, puny,
scrawny, wimpy kid whose,
(back in the nineteen sixties),
his parents decreed their singular
(painfully shy dorky, geeky and nerdy)
old school boy who sported a buzz cut,
which found him reacting and responding
(in short order rebelling)
passive aggressively by
refusing to bathe

until mommy dearest demanded
(well nigh upon
the bewitching hour of midnight)
to witness her son soaked
and essentially marinated
(until my skin shriveled like a prune)
in the (clawfoot) tub
lest he stink to high heavens,
and given a serious dressing down
by the timely principal Mister Clock.

Far back as I can remember,
the significance of hair
assumed an outsize role,
whether enviously eying other lads
their thick straight hank,
or nowadays bristling
with self reproach
cursed with thinning
greasy limp strands
(interspersed with gray)

experiencing shame being seen in public,
a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff
and an embarrassment
to the human race
ofttimes associating
myself with Samson,
whereat emotional, physical,
and spiritual strength
rooted (pun intended)
within each hair shaft

(the visible part of the hair
that sticks out of the skin),
and rooted in the skin and extends
down to the deeper layers of the skin
surrounded by the hair follicle
(a sheath of skin
and connective tissue),
which is also connected
to a sebaceous gland.

when held spellbound courtesy grifter

Flim-flam man left lasting emotional whiplash
his derelict perfected artifice
to hijack every last cent
smarted me with indelible smash;
living daylight delivered I kidney you not
envious affliction affecting
last named member and founder of the Byrds
with crosby, stills, young and nash
entire corporeal being turned to hash
condemned state yours truly relegated,
cuz cremation unaffordable, though pulverized
and transformed into powdery ash;

Impossible mission to conceptualize
transmutation into cremains, the brain
lodged within me noggin
ill equipped to envision mine gray matter
even after asking mister Google to explain
that cremation takes place
in a specially designed furnace,
referred to as a cremation chamber or retort,
and exposed to extreme temperatures –
up to 1,800 degrees Fahrenheit–
leaving behind only ashes.

Following the procedure,
a cooling period required
before the remains can be handled.

Yours truly can best attest,
when succumbing as victim to virtual heist
I most likely flip flopped
into one percent atavistic Neanderthal state;
a surprising revelation
23andme genotyping results
yielded said presence of proto human
after analyzing DNA
courtesy saliva sample from eldest sister.

No other logical satisfactory explanation doth chime
lapsed consciousness, hence reasonable rhyme
whereat one twenty first century mortal man
virtually travelled in time
cast into nasty, shortish brute
obliging deft inducement
outsourcing valuable dough.

Though aforementioned far-fetched notion
smacks of high skepticism,
yet no more ridiculous than
hominids over bajillion years springing forth
from flotsam and jetsam in the ocean
I may as well broach another theory of creation
(just came to my mind),
that divine omnipotent wizard
sprinkled magic potion
across primordial sea
after watching an advertisement promotion
claiming said product
contained the seeds of life and white lily.

Convinced that snake oil salesman
wrought deleterious influence
triggering a debacle that rocked
the financial market,
(albeit constituting one singular naked ape),
an attorney general based in Philadelphia
believes I presented a convincing case,
which hopefully witnesses
recouping all or most of my funds.

to anonymous readers March 22nd, 2022
(blustery and chilly Tuesday)
reminiscing about mein kampf,
when precious irretrievable youth
frittered away within
emotional wilderness of mine.

Into lonely senescence -
more'n three plus decades
plus three extra orbitz
around mister sun already elapsed
trepidation, hesitation, abdication... unbearably
tugging, shouldering,
remonstrating accumulation
of "baggage" nothing
to thumb button nose at

think hitch hiker pose
of right hand ****** out
silently raving, quaking
cursing ultimatum parents
(soffit to fascia in)
saw fit to fashion
and hammer home

red hot poker rage
their singular male offspring
middle child of two sisters,
who long since vacated premises
when both young naifs
prior to attaining age of consent

deploring bing holed up
at 324 Level Road redoubt
(long since razed)
built as summer house
remote from fracas of urban bedlam
still one hundred years since Leipers
bon voyage into netherland

father and mother
imposed swiftly tailored
harried styled tough love
translated meant absolute zero value
toward offspring they begot,
and made quite clear loathing

heaped upon sundered fountainhead
good for nothing son of a...,
he whittled away precious time
reading avast among trove of material
crowdsourcing numerous bookshelves
mostly to impress intellectual visitors,

when in truth middle aged couple
thinly veiled country bumpkins,
donned with "FAKE" literacy
stereotypical "rednecks,"
inexplicably begot wunderkind
agog with inhaling literature

in tandem with liberal
magazines and newspapers
oft times whiled away countless hours
sunup to sundown
sequestered most remote nook
within local library (Evansburg)

few miles walk along country road
served as self taught schooling
since parochial educated regimen
habitually rapped knuckles
courtesy whiplike hickory stick
if pupil evinced slightest

distraction, whence schoolmaster
detected lack of attention
as crotchety curmudgeon
blankly droned monotonously
dull jabbering subjected
stone faced classmates

into instant soporific state
futilely struggling to keep eyelids
slamming shut tight
including yours truly,
who when suddenly awake
realized quite a vivid dream!

PostScript: I slightly
refashioned, repurposed and revised
above crafted semi fictitious poem
(written scant years ago)
cuz poignant pathos
to plod along boulevard
of broken dreams still persists into present.

Circa August 18th, 2021
three years ago to date,
nevertheless I count blessings,
so please do not hashtag me
as worse than an ingrate
or one whose dire financial straits
attributed to flimflam scam artist,
who when he/she
asked direct questions
heavily trended to obfuscate
which penury now finds me to vacate
unaffordable costs living social on premises
of highland manor apartments.

Lemme titillate thee
regarding myself daily
soldiering thru breastworks
sidestepping veritable landmines irks
read out loud to experience
where dangerfield lurks
then twenty five years a husband
unknown marital perks
bachelorhood to die for,
cuz warp and weft

courtesy webbed and wedded bliss
incorporates life threatening quirks
analogous to demise Ottoman Turks
dissolution of said empire courtesy
by treaty and came to an end in 1922,
when the last Ottoman Sultan,
Mehmed VI, was deposed
and left the capital of Constantinople
(now Istanbul) in a British warship
courtesy Harris armaments works.

Hazardous beyond belief
trumpeted courtesy commander in chief
analogous crossing a landmine good grief
ensnared yours truly
mistaken for Baghdad thief.

Impossible mission to step up pace
when ambling one room to another
footfalls of generic guy approximating brisk,
cuz one misstep could find me flat on back
with damaged spinal disc
worse fate than experiencing
strong arms of law
reach out his hands that frisk
old meister wordsmith
merely ventures innocent risk,
yet may as well
surrender self to Taliban,
who would willingly whisk.

Garden variety Caucasian American bloke
afraid to tread amidst belongings strewn
pell mell outranking
rating tornado 5 courtesy
enhanced Fujita Scale,
whereat Good Housekeeping
demonized, insulted, and ostracized spouse.

As precautionary safeguard,
I carry treasured amulet
to ward off ill luck
toward life and limb you bet,
especially when gingerly
taking one step after another
modus operandi cachet
with lights turned off
owing steadfastness to prayerful debt
intoned toward guardian angel to get

self groping in dark without bifocals
envisioning severely myopic
(blind as a bat generic guy
without spectacles) met
bedded objective where,
menagerie of stuffed animals
(albeit Woodstock favorite pseudo pet),
which aforementioned Peanuts character
called warm fuzzy as sobriquet
wordsmith evinces, identifies,
outshines wit to whet.

The missus bursts out laughing,
whom I damnably scoff at and berate
as I trip head over heels
cursing said spouse ever since first date
at Tex-Mex restaurant
in North Wales, Pennsylvania,
a gut level intuitive sense -
even then our sealed fate
cursed analogously
crashing thru Hades gate
antagonistic altercations in actuality
displaced suppressed

anger toward parents,
which father and mother (both deceased)
their sole son of did hate
for afflicting psychological trauma
regarding them furiously irate
doling out ultimatums
interestingly enough comfort found
within company of loving mate,
she weaseled compassion
evidenced by poetic prattle I prate,
whereat ye can (of course) highly rate
feedback I eagerly await.

In 2024, daylight savings time will begin at two o'clock ante meridiem on Sunday, March tenth. That will mean losing an hour of precious sleep and moving the clocks (around your house, and sundry frequented places) forward one hour, though your cell phone, computer, and television plus other electronic devices will likely automatically adjust. The sun will appear to rise and set an hour later.

Father time evinces spectacular robustness despite weathering setback of countless finagling representation viz Chronos (/ˈkroʊnɒs, -oʊs/; Greek: Χρόνος, [kʰrónos], "time"), also spelled Khronos or Chronus, is a personification of time in pre-Socratic philosophy and later literature. Chronos. Personification of time. Time Clipping Cupid's Wings (1694), by Pierre Mignard. Symbol.

Though crafted a few years back
jet lag effect affects yours truly
twice each year when schedules
within body electric
such as circadian rhythm
dislocate psyche
analogous to seismic shift
NOT attributed to global warming,
nor aeronautically bound sky high,
but linkedin to hour hand
on analog clock
set ahead or behind one hour.

Just about a bajillion moments ago
(from date/time
I wrote these words),
a dawning realization
arose within this sol son begat
from ma late mother
and (initial commencement
of this poem) while
then octogenarian widower father,
lived at Normandy Farms
Senior Community

in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania
(he since passed away
October 7th, 2020)
oh... no nothing cat
tuss strophic, boot
merely the revelation,
how fist bumping dee clocks
an hour hand ahead
remembered by dat
dog gone refrain
spring ahead, and fall back,

this unemployed chap
doth down play eclat
attests that his quotidian rising
schedule minimally affected
holed up here
in Highland Manor named flat
roomy enough for thyself, the Missus,
and buzzfeed ding fruit flies
each approximately the size of a gnat
a minor nuisance, though tolerable
within this appealing habitat,

where minor inconvenience experienced
by this Schwenksville, Pennsylvania resident
cuz as a recipient
of social security disability
(social anxiety) this psyche didst get rent,
which fixed (unearned) income budgeted
and predominantly costs
of living money spent
hence no need to arise
bright tailed and bushy black eyed,
pea yon sought freedom akin

to folks camped out in a tent,
which exemption immunizes
this doodle ling middle aged
muddle brained chap subjected to ranting
courtesy early morning drivers,
who angrily, frenetically,
and splenetically rant and vent
thus, the tendency, piquancy, and lunacy
to twitter (for the Yardbirds),
and keep company
with night owls, who went

a hooting for all the world wide web
to hear, whence dawgs Bach
the exact number of hours, yet oblivious
to the tight rigorous
tenon mortised schedule
manned by Mister Clock,
essentially foisting on Bread Winners,
an abstract artificial construct spurring
madcap commuters
to scurry in the rat race,

lest tardiness could cost
more than paycheck
(to ap pier with permanent dock
hue ment aye shun),
an unwonted blot add hoc
king worry about getting canned -
i.e. on permanent furlough,
perhaps forced into a life of crime,
yet if caught...
wasting away in a jail cell

as warden turns the lock
one redeeming factor,
would offer opportunity to mock
management, and more pertinently
mandate to rock
and roll to the incessant muted,
rhyme without reasonable schlock
yet devastatingly loud tick tock
analogous to stir fries
noisily prepared in wok.

Vice linkedin to carnal flesh this writer,
(a married heterosexual ******, –
whose alter egos
named and highlighted courtesy
Gallant and Goofus) attones
to heat these lovely bag of bones
amazingly graceful human specimen
more so than required to generate clones,
whose jibber-jabber feeble poetic words
crafted for no particular rhyme nor reason
analogous to babbling drones
aging musculoskeletal physique groans

kvetching synonymously nsync
with (metronome like) tick tock
where alphanumeric, esoteric, and generic
garden variety alter kocker
(eons ago a foo fighting
beastie boy baby boomer) and/or like
kin himself to famous mummified Pharaoh
ala King Tutankhamun's moans
wrapped in long strips of linen,
indistinguishable among rolling stones
netting sometimes wrapped

each finger and toe individually
against many future unknowns
as the soul of mine traveled across cosmos
temporarily filling black hole sun,
and kerplunked across space/time continuum
easily mistaken for
pinteresting soundcloud virtual xylophones
providing an x uber rent lyft
along the edge of night
amidst dark shadows
to the outer limits of many twilight zones.

Hence, I will beg, borrow or steal loot
and make a fair trade
with a paperback writer,
who exudes profound wisdom
as keen philosophical thinker
oh no... no... no, this
non smoking bandit, nor drinker
will explain to police officer,
that me willingly doth plead
guilty as freshly showered stinker

without spectacles yours truly
can only blinker
if nabbed he
submissively relinquishes freedom
to do time inside
state of the art clinker,
where ample heat warms hoodwinker
covering mine rickety musculoskeletal,
while escorted to attend requisite
appointment with headshrinker
with the icy name of Mister Rinker.

Token Doubting Thomas here
resorted to life of
doggone petty crime without fanfare
for this common man
dirt poor bloke who doth air,
(not that anybody
will give a rat's a$$, nor care
a jot regarding me
squalid shiftless schlepper
bereft of a place to call home

anemic checking and savings accounts
with Citizens Bank
describes my financial welfare),
and similar to Scrooge,
(who mutters "bah humbug"
grossly dislikes Xmas time of year,
not always the case with yours truly,
cuz as a lad din
Southeastern Montgomery County
one cute as a button little boy with

short cropped strawberry blond hair,
(unadulterated, accursed and unbiased
opinion), aye declared
papa tricked out as Santa Claus
divine and stood bug eyed
while shopping with mother
and siblings amidst
madding crowd
(at the King of Prussia Mall)
then no living nightmare

not like today November twenty ninth
tooth how sinned twenty four
bajillion people angrily glare
with livid rage expect
whistleblower shrill shrieking
against crass consumerism thru air
courtesy bull-let-in aiming crosshair,
whereat vendors pushing merchandise
hooping he/she can scare
up brisk business, hence

caveat emptor i.e. buyer beware
aside from aforementioned
hypothetical scenario - I won't ever
overspend credit cards,
which profligate net spending
occurs within glorious land
of bilk and money
Amazon qua America OnLine,
the home of the free..., where
distribution of wealth very unfair.

Yukon still experience
enjoyment of beauty,
according to this poet
of Perkiomen Valley
with less sense and sensibility
than a baboon, or other naked ape,
cuz his pride and prejudice got in the way
while seeking love and friendship,
nevertheless he can bet
dollars to donuts (with glazed eyes)
without oneself spending themselves silly
garnering mountain due of debt

subsequently cue sax and violins
gently weeping (think guitar coming
unstrung at every fret),
thus... ya gotta get get
aware simple pleasures
experience mindfulness, such as
zipping across globe on private jet
hobnobbing with rich and famous,
then swinging by utmost secluded
unconventional monastery, and meet...
nun other than one cell bated abbott
cost 'ello to thine reverent Mother.

* - The exact origin of the British Thermal Unit (BTU) is unclear, but Thomas Tredgold, a British railroad engineer, is the closest person to being credited with its discovery. Tredgold's definition of the BTU was the quantity of pounds avoirdupois that would raise the temperature of a cubic foot of water by one degree Fahrenheit.

- The word "humbug" has been used since the 1700s to describe something or someone that is false or deceptive. It's also been used to describe a trick played on unsuspecting people. The word's exact origin is unknown, but some theories include: For example, you might say "Bah humbug!" if someone won't let children play catch on their lawn

But first etymological climatological meteorological esoterica:

The word autumn (/ˈɔːtəm/) is derived from Latin autumnus, archaic auctumnus, possibly from the ancient Etruscan root autu-and has within it connotations of the passing of the year. Alternative etymologies include Proto-Indo-European *h₃ewǵ- ("cold") or *h₂sows- ("dry").

If you reside in the Eastern time zone, then fall officially begins at 8:43 a.m., local time. The start of fall will be at 7:43 a.m. in the Central time zone, 6:43 a.m. in the Mountain time zone and 5:43 a.m. in the Pacific time zone.

Despite twittering, uber
sputtering kickstarting lyft
onset of cool weather
argh, another brief daily spate
re: forecasting blistering,
nauseating, sweltering...
ninety degree plus Fahrenheit
temperature forecast
(along eastern seaboard)
courtesy mister summer,
who will overstay his welcome
hoop fully a more seasonable
cooling trend rounds out ninth month
(according to Gregorian calendar).

The above lines crafted
when poetic endeavor
herewith follows tapped out
across qwerty keyboard
when this poem initially written
at least one earth orbit ago.

I eagerly looked forward
to crisp refreshing air
much more comfortable
to weather being outdoors
within/out this sequestered enclave
postage stamp size geographical area
offers respite versus metropolitan
denser population centers,
the former disappearing open space
rather disheartening, but urbanization -

purportedly the definition of progress
finds once open farmland
more than fifty plus years back
crumbling barns now tombstones
testimony when people
farmed the land, and lived
linkedin with rhythms of nature,
which only found courtesy said vestiges
inevitably razed (similar to boyhood home

324 Level Road) finds yours truly
brooding fast paced instant
credit karma gratification
twenty first century, which
small, medium forces at large
outfox the time tested imprimatur
i.e. latent powers planet Earth
unleashes (thank you global warming)
decrees final curtain call.

**** sapiens runs rampant
wreaking havoc all points of compass
already inundated with scorching,
melting ice caps, flooding...
future generations, yet unborn
might avoid predicated on
dramatic alternatives fossil fuels
already showered Gaia
with carbon dioxide
as well other noxious poisons
though vibrant advocacy
evident among students

vocally demonstrating against
irrevocable damage, whereby environment
and countries situated
near sea level take heavy hit,
nonetheless... cautious optimism flickers
inducing mandatory one hundred eighty degree
reorientation regarding eco friendly
methodologies to lo mein, maintain,
sustain... technological civilization,
else quaint existence of thee
will be read about
in digitized history books.

The following extrapolated
thought thread exercised,
NOT utilized to intimate
how Fats Domino belied,
and wowed a crowded house ***-sized.

As a former ace procrastinator, I abhor
putting off doing what best ought
to get immediate attention bar
ring some extenuating dire circumstance,
sans mishap with flying carpet
case in point being unexpected a bomb
bin able crisis necessitating
hypothetical individual impossible
to remain calm
while in the process
(assisted with good ole mom)

to hoist self with one's own petard,
which emergency best warrant a reward,
otherwise if fate doth NOT
require one to break
from ordinary business as usual
to enlist the "FAKE"
help of a grenadier,
who doth make his/her livelihood
risking their life,
and limb without quake
king (obviously compensating bravery

as he/she doth stake
out mortal danger with adequate adorn
ing mortal kombat
with ample legal tender and/
or promising first born)
for unstinting mettle,
especially tolerating accompanying
martial baritone horn
player screech (like fingernails
scraping across chalkboard)

in close proximity - eliciting a scorn
ing glare from soldier spy
tinker tailor with a torn
smile while trained
special ops named Bjorn
incurs deadly hazard from one morn
to the next amidst adversity
shouldering care worn
Marines motto semper fidelis,
which unnecessary loss of young life
predicated on add

age, viz being at the least,
a day late and dollar short egad
inadvertently dooming
princely valiant warmonger,
a mere stripling lad
whose mourning brings
heavy pallor of sad
ness, which imagined situation - aye
tangentially congruently analogous by
and by to the butterfly effect,

or sparrow's swan song i.e. die
destiny wrought, when one dost espy
a single occurrence no lie,
(the flickr ring, instagram
ming, kickstart ting well nigh
linkedin shutterfly of a butterfly)
say twerks catcher in the rye,
hence no matter how small, thee or thy
can change the course
of the universe forever,
no idea how nor why.

Unnecessary torturous agonizing stress
wracked psyche throughout mein kampf
beginning in early grade school,
where yours truly adopted counterproductive
time management, note taking, and
prioritization of most to least
important task, which foundering
like a fish out of water besieged
with physiological symptoms
linkedin to haunting nightmares.

The following moniker “innocent prankster”
awarded, hashtagged, and qualified wife
as trickster de jure appended
to alluded spouse
(then of twenty five plus years),
when she pulled a doozy ruse
upon me innocent gullibility
approximately eighteen months ago,
which aftertaste still lingers in my mouth.

Unbeknownst, the wife
appeared unusually upbeat,
she did pretend and succeed
to give yours truly a special,
albeit waxy wick head treat
aforementioned item alluded to purchased
at Liberty Ministry thrift store

3841 Ridge Pike
some miles further west
same road identified as Main Street
encompassing countless communities
including Collegeville, Pennsylvania 19426,
I can show you proof courtesy
printed information on pocketed receipt.

That past holiday times
more playfulness than usual awoke,
whereby the missus appeared,
coquettish, frisky..., especially nonchalant
pestering one garden variety
generic husbandly bloke
(christened Matthew Scott Harris),
nearly swallowed bait
hook, line and sinker,
yet courtesy dumb luck did not choke

would with pursed lips subsequently think
and or mouth the words okey doke
what in the name of Judas Priest
more strongly worded *******,
this token poet didst NOT evoke
by George, he a run of the mill
on the floss ordinary heavy mettle folk
thee spouse got mischief
up her (figurative) sleeve
thespian wannabe she never quite...
her constituted stardom quite a joke.

She practiced April's fool day
(hoping nobody noticed -
particularly this aspiring paperback writer
as she looked askance)
every time she got a chance
gleefully clapping her hands
while performing an impromptu (risque) dance,
when she pulls off buzzfeeding
twittering jumpstarting her coaxing

beatitude procuring tom foolery to advance
hat tricks of her trade
taking Europe in general and France
darting at yours truly errant furtive glance
sketching, kickstarting, extracting character
while minding metaphorical lance
in particular by storm think sturm and drang
madding crowds clamoring to prance
analogous unsung Juke Box hero.

The words mentioned above intended for you
dear anonymous reader to woo
allowing, enabling, and providing how I view
livingsocial linkedin with good n plenty true
value without a dark shadow of doubt
poetic license taken,

these words zealously, randomly, haphazardly
scattered across screen ***** nilly I spew
trying to coerce coalescence of continuity,
yet additionally trying to weave events
earlier that December 22nd  2020, I review,
whereby yours truly while waiting in a queue

assorted merchandise fifty percent off,
the spouse did avidly pursue
unbeknownst she would play a prank and outdo
pulling a doozy gag at my expense, he took netview
of utter tomfoolery, and readily admits Matthew

Scott Harris, nearly ate
"faux chocolate soap"
finding wife in stitches, he too
did chuckle, cuz he knew
supposed treat smelled extremely fragrant
cocoa confection fortunately, I did not chew
but promptly spit out after sneezing atchew!

found himself bewitched about Circe,
particularly after reading book title by the same name.

An enchantress and a minor goddess
in ancient Greek mythology and religion
depicted as living on the island of Aeaea
(pronounced "ee-EE-uh"),
the daughter of the sun god Helios
and the Oceanid nymph Perse
Circe renowned for her vast knowledge
of potions and herbs
unwittingly cast her magic
across millenniums of space and time,
whose fictitious existence spanned
during the Bronze Age
and the Greek Heroic Age,
which roughly corresponds
to the period of the Trojan War
and Odysseus's journey home
courtesy Madeline Miller
an American novelist,
author of The Song of Achilles and Circe,
who spent ten years writing
The Song of Achilles
while she worked as a teacher
of Latin and Greek.

After reading the first hundred pages
of aforementioned well written novel,
(a riddle wrapped
in a mystery inside an enigma -
In an October 1939 radio speech,
Winston Churchill used this phrase
to describe a situation
difficult to comprehend,
when he analyzed the early events
of the second war to end all wars),
yours truly experienced
increased familiarity towards Circe,
which inadvertently brought admiration
and eventual infatuation - ha
to said subject matter at hand
compliments aforesaid
forty six year young autheress
weaned on the classics as a little girl
courtesy her mother,
(who shares the same first name)
a librarian, started reading her
The Iliad at five years old
and she started learning Latin at eleven,
hence no surprise the daughter
started writing her first novel,
The Song of Achilles,
during the final year of her bachelor's
after co-directing a production
of Troilus and Cressida.
Most of my life of threescore and six years
found me a **** poor bloke transfixed
with reading about
femme fatale fictional personas in general,
and Circe in particular,
whom yours truly
found himself besotted with
because of her intriguing charisma
and found himself pretending
to wine and dine
said figment of Grecian imagination
à la suit of lovers such as
Telemachus, Hermes,
and most significant
life changing relationship Odysseus.

Short of cash
since becoming aware
of the importance of money
(particularly the lack thereof
of said currency),
I lucked out being a Guinea Pig
to test run the latest iteration
of time machine technology
and willingly accepted the opportunity
to volunteer myself
aware that any number of quirks
could find me stranded
somewhere in time
cue The 18th variation
of Sergei Rachmaninoff's
"Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini"
never to return to the present moment
(March Madness 2025)
before circumstances
leisurely cruising thru cyberspace
texting one of the countless friends
I met courtesy social media platforms
until accursed ill-fate
found me experiencing
a series of unfortunate events.

After an instantaneous
indeterminable interval
of fleeting seconds or minutes,
a blinding flash indicated
that space-age contrivance
approached speed of light,
which pure energy form
accompanied with surrealistic kaleidoscope
of brilliant and spectacular colors,
which virtual phenomena
analogous to a rave party
typically featuring
electronic dance music (EDM),
with other genres like house, techno,
trance, drum and bass,
and dubstep being common choices
quite visible even with protective gear
donned over entire talking heads.
Unfortunately due
to some ghost in the machine,
a mechanical breakdown
within the Elon Musk
made contrivance
where time travel
to classical Greece
original objective in general
and experiencing firsthand
the invisible presence of Circe in particular
found the airy mission
thwarted (possibly a conspiracy linkedin
with John Wilkes Booth)
to pre antebellum America instead
birthing the following snippet
from a more lengthy vignette.

Nothing unusual, but
please pardon my lack of ability
to communicate in a clear and concise fashion.
The heat from summer like temperature-
induced drowsiness, which effort
to keep eyelids opened
tantamount to a futile effort.

So this fellow relented to visit
Doctor Mehmet Ozzy Osbourne land
during his Black Sabbath.

Thus mere moments ago,
while adrift in deep,
profound and tranquil sleep
(which seemed to encompass
more than the usual
one hour or so dog gone cat nap)
an undetectable transformation
quietly, softly, and subtly
jettisoned me from the here and now
to the flux of events
awash mid eighteen hundreds America.

Prior to waking
from hypnotic, trancelike state
(populated with exquisite
redolent viz psychedelic furs dreams
nearly true to realistic personages)
held me spellbound.

Akin to a frictionless,
gliding locomotion mechanism
(safely and securely
transporting human cargo
known as Matthew Scott beyond present)
ferried me across corridors,
labyrinths and passageways
countless decades ago,
I absorbed the ambient
mind-set, beliefs, creeds, ethos,
gentility, integrity, morality,
nuanced opinions, political thought-processes,
vices and virtues
of progressive think
men and women,
for their time,
who accident of fate
writ (unbeknownst to them)
their incomplete biographies
cradle to grave scores of years ago.

I looked outside the bedroom window
here at B44 Highland Manor Apartments
today March 13th, 2022 low and behold
took stock of soundless grounded sideshow.

Barenaked lady, i.e. mother earth
partially sloughed off
excess weight around her girth
her downy soft negligee.

Where once ground
enshrouded in lily white
courtesy albedo effect nature
evinced twilight
no matter the
post meridiem o'clock hour quite
re: many hours after dusk
dark shadows absent
impossible mission
to differentiate edge of night

from closing day as told
once a pawn time knight
hence courtesy mine
following reasonable rhyme
syncopated metered poetic
feet tracks highlight
unblanketted silent burlesque
risqué burlesque doth excite
eventually uncovers budding
flora rooted birthright.

Though first of April
will be here eighteen tomorrows,
nevertheless old man winter
can still pack a judicious
punch without feeling regret or sorrow.

Without doubt, yours truly
eagerly awaits the Spring
equinox - 11:33 Ante Meridian
Eastern Standard Time
on Saturday, March 20
when warm temperatures
(fahrenheit thermometer)
allow, enable, and provide
ideal opportunity to bring
these lovely bones outside

soon enough sparking me
to perspire, whereby beads
of sweat on skin will cling
taking lock, stock, and barrel
envying birds and bees
enjoying (gathering nectar
from rosebuds) pollinating
while lads and lasses
engage in flowering fling.

Soon enough hazy,
hot humid dog days of summer
will usher thunderstorms - after
bolts of jagged lightning
because light travels
much faster than sound waves
humbling one garden variety
beetle browed being
awed by fantastic, electric,
dynamic, copacetic... atmospheric
phenomenon - ofttimes
wreaking havoc tossing
large objects as if trappings
of civilization a mere plaything

meanwhile scaring the bejesus
and living daylights
out of mortal creatures
scrambling for safety during
tempestuous meteorological event,
I would not miss (for the world)
witnessing explosive ear splitting,
Earth shaking deafening noise
reigning down on measly
basket of deplorables trumpeting
supremacy over feeble attempts
**** sapiens exert
upon terrestrial firmament.

Though the might of man
puny compared/contrasted
with tremendous potential
pent of energy released courtesy
planetary tectonic,
meteorologic, and atmospheric
dynamic processes,
one terroristic oaf clamors
to wrest powers latent
within the gods, yet must be
stopped dead in his tracks
lest democracy and every
form of government obliterated.

While merrily bobbing along
the boulevard of broken dreams,
which in truth measured
no more than a furlong
think envisioning myself top banana
analogous to bull headed Donkey Kong,
I felt on top of my game,
which constituted ping pong
but severely lacking

tragedy, suspense, romance, et cetera
subsequently fat/slim chance
to warrant ghost writer,
nevertheless unlikely to realize production
courtesy the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike
despite existential nihilism
grist for the paperback writer mill
recounting my life and hard times
devoid of hero or heroine unsung.

Yours truly a figurative magnet,
where racketeers come out of wood work
swooping birds of prey
pouncing like the dickens
I don't know what hit me
before being bloodied
and knocked senseless
seeing stars though hour broad daylight.
(in more ways than one).

That execrable, despicable ******...
unnamed miscreant unknown
(though only his pseudonym
iterated in many another previous poem),
no doubt laughed all the way to the bank
courtesy mine stolen funds drank
libation, while his loosed tongue
probably retold plucking cold cash
(as I play devil's advocate)
out the hands some poor sucker,

who genuinely believed fabrication
that Citizen Bank tellers
blatantly colluded against victim,
deluded him courtesy
purring voice of perpetrator
the former talk of the town,
an imbecile, whereat the latter
a practiced slyboots
pulling the wool over rapt prey
complicit in his own financial downfall

now seeking altruistic,
holistic and unrealistic benefactor(s),
I attest blatantly
showed myself laughing stock
to be ernest and frank
and brought down quite a few notches
regarding respectability bemoaning
relinquishing funds viz obvious prank.

The webbed wide world
could not give a rats ****
regarding major bone head fiasco
that found father fêted
in tragedy of his making a farce
even a kindergartner could easily parse
as rotten to the core
only has himself to thank,
where once abundant bucks now sparse

The severe punishing hell
found yours truly listing
with suicidal ideation
inner voices beckoned
though none could hear
deafening rebel yell
raging against the machinations
of cut throat venal
conniving smart aleck

requisitioning easy moolah
total eclipsed son,
whose papa scores of years ago
circa nineteen seventy six or thereabouts
(after he got laid off
from General Electric)
also experienced fiends,
who took Boyce Harris to the cleaners
and left him hanging out to dry.

Otherwise titled deep into my fiftieth year of passive aggressive rebellious puberty.

Yes, I chickened out getting a haircut yesterday August twenty seventh two thousand and twenty four as stated in a previous poem before undergoing cataract surgery cause mine deux (mind you) ponytail donation of at least by donating at least eight inches of these straggly tresses to a facility that repurposes cut hair for Children with Hair Loss after getting golden – more specifically brunette imponderable locks lopped off, would still cost me thirty five dollars namely at Salon Nova (situated at west Ridge Pike, Suite A, Royersford, Pennsylvania, 19468) not including a tip, which extra bonus, (would most likely top off the total cost close to fifty dollars, but yours truly best ask this question ahead of time, which monetary fait accompli with scissors might best set my sights until speedy recovery videre licet post cataract surgery.

Sacrilegious transgression against deeply rooted obsessive compulsive disorder impossible mission to forcibly eject from out my psyche, until drastic measure of prefrontal lobotomy or Electroconvulsive therapy employed courtesy a thirteen year old.

Siege warfare (trumpeting)
average joe biden his time
linkedin with aberrant behavior
transpires within me mind,
(not just today August 27th, 2024,
but everyday/365)
warrants depleting stockpile arsenal
constituting exhausting mental health
uprooting deep seated repellent pesky
daunting lost cause.

Overruled by irrational thoughts,
I feebly muster a lame duck
half quacked comeback
(think home team cheering at pep rally)
against analogous figurative agents provocateur
said nemesis bore down hard
upon sense and sense abilities
mine psyche undergoing
blistering, hectoring withering, et cetera
courtesy ghost of Emily Brontë
mailer daemons flitting to and fro,
hither and yon within wuthering heights.

Another necessity Emma gin)
awoke prided prejudice
plus sense and sensibility
to confront head on
after trimming back the tresses
beastie boy foo fighting (Irish,
no matter genealogy regarding
yours truly Eastern European)
mine talking head housing
private insane asylum.

Incomprehensible thought processes
chronically spin out of control
dictate mandate NOT to wash hair
until at least one week passage of time,
(an arbitrarily chosen number
i.e. seven days convenient block)
even if appearance looks unkempt, slovenly
grungy, et cetera as nirvana seeking guy.

Thus, I readily admit self held hostage,
whereby loopy thought provoking patterns
hopelessly, grimly, futilely find me surrendering
NEVER eradicating down battened ramparts
neurotic, lunatic approved, idiotic
mind mental chattering
babbling jabbering gibberish
housing concocted village people
dead set against shampooing oily locks.

Quite a tussle (think metaphorical hair pulling)
ensues within me scrambled noggin,
whereby pathetic psychotic pummeling
win knows scrimmage
scoring touchdown amidst
teaming muted brouhaha
allowing, enabling, and providing
harmlessly insane nettlesome
pesky skewed notions
ridiculous leeway to predominate
until yours truly USDA
qualified, hashtagged, certified...
as grateful dead among human league.

I generally mean mine mien mental state
moost occasions heavily marinated stupor
long established as external trait
psychologically time tested trooper
impossible mission to kickstart sanity
doppelgänger regularly revisits his soul asylum
hellbent antimatter he cannot vitiate
despite therapeutic laxative merely exhausts
well bred literate smoking doobie brother
eliminating aforementioned pablum
witnessed courtesy one floundering grouper
among plenty of fish schooled
hyphenated (high finned haggled)
burn hushed scaled poem
courtesy one unionised rebellious party pooper.

Spellbound with colossal mental grippe
(i.e. all-consuming figurative cerebral
obsessive compulsive forced membership)
magnetic resonance imaging
indicated jagged blip
and/or nsync microscopy
showed telltale genetic authorship
regarding above stated mental health crisis,
whereby Sigmund Freud analyst did flip
lid freeing leeches imported courtesy Philip
Hansel and Gretel a mere slip
o' lass, whose nose she always did turnip.

Let us bear witness to arm and blindfold...
each candidate for president of United States
and therefore witness a duel (to the death)
between Biden and Trump to determine
who occupies Oval Office as forty seventh
Chief executive of the federal government.

Since both the Democratic and Republican contenders
for prospective commander in chief offer pathetic odds
evening the prospect of the latter or former winning an
unequivocal fair and four square bilateral contest firing
a gun after being positioned back to back, then counting
of so many paces before turning around and facing off.

Neither combatant could be identified, cuz head to toe
bullet proof vests would encapsulate every square inch
of vulnerable flesh rendering incognito dead giveaway
characteristics, and a wig would don their numbskull
at a given signal communicated thru bluetooth headset
high powered firearm cocked and raised ready to aim
at opponent instantaneously caught in the crosshairs

premature ejaculations punctuated sound of silence, a
mortally wounded wimp versus over stuffed ego freezer
also suffering a fatal shot as madding crowds roar with
deafening frenzied ballistic approval atavistic gone ape
primal screaming decreeing spoken explosion of anarchy.

All hell broke loose likened to burst dam where humanity
witnessed annihilation into balkanization into capitulation,
disintegration into evisceration, into factionalization, into
horrification into insubordination into jubilation, liquidation
into militarization into nullification into obliteration into
promulgation, radicalization, tribulation, and veneration.

Suddenly out of bedlam deft ferocious hoodlum jump/kick
started linkedin nationalistic predation rebranded travesty
vocalizing xenophobia zealously attracting craven egocentric
gambling inimitably kleptomaniacal, mercurial, opportunistic
quixotic, sensational uber wordsmiths reductio absurdum
expostulating non-sequiturs endowed with hidden wisdom.

Though ordinarily a non violent (unrepentent punster to boot)
amazingly graceful aging hippie even while in utero I played
role of embryonic peace monger – marching within the womb
despite the cramped quarters, especially as I got closer to term
and occupied avast area of the ******, my mother participated
in numerous rallies exposing me to socially progressive events
no surprise when yours truly babbled on about revolutionaries.

Last rays of wicked flickering candlelight
even to this present day
(October 4th, 2023)
lxiv anniversaries marking birth
emotions of ambivalence self directed at me,
and family of origin diatribes still career,
within psyche of Matthew Scott Harris -
less plain as day when prominent dearth
of attentiveness, compassion, empathy,
et cetera totally absent
without leave, and dear

father, (who art thou in heaven yet,
or the closest equivalent domain
linkedin with atheists)
approximately ninety one
and a half years since expulsion
out swollen womb
of Sadie Harris' pregnant girth
housed Boyce Brandon Harris
approximately a ***** deed done dirt cheap
orbitz around the Earth.

Since mcmlix, the year
of my parturition, an aversion
vociferously prematurely *******,
viz non verbal
communication as if...spark of life
extinguished within mine shuttered hearth
nsync with mother (long deceased)
vividly evinced sole son lack of mirth
matter of fact gamut
of all feelings except despair
(stayin alive until

for whom the bell tolls)
constricted self worth
gripped (strong as strangling
choke hold), where anorexia nervosa
squelched necessity to eat plus,
apathy to attend to personal care
spelled disaster (even impossible
for FEMA to aright)
psychological illness offshoots infected,
this entire body, asper blight

dulling that preschool boy with
his demeanor cheerily bright,
a pallor of gloominess enshrouded this lad
blocking, crushing, destroying... daylight
additionally quashing will power to fight
off thee mailer daemon, a deadly parasite
lodged evil doppelganger fought
tooth and nail being  ostracized
throve to truncate more'n foresight,
considerably less self actualized versus

present pained realization, plus violent bent
evidenced by self starved
inflicted suicide, not gunfight
since parents opposed firearms,
anyway no matter, cuz height
of determination to perish (albeit
passive) exhibited pathetic might
effortlessly overwhelmed, since
corporeal defeated essence
i.e. emaciated flesh light
as a feather defeated thru thine dada

decreed diktat, and
maternal instinctual millwright
both sets of chromosomes helping beget,
asper this scribe learning
late less a frayed
when gripping whipping cords
which will serve you
more than than ropes
compliments of nonpareil
Fiona Apple McAfee-Maggart
will do to play right.

Dispense sing with fidelity blithely agog
just me and mine dark shadow
slinking along outer limits of
the edge of night doth blog
passivity, the path
of least resistance ohm my dog,
shocking voltage amply
surges an emphatic YES,
verboten fruit adrip
with succulent juices as eggnog,

a legitimately valid
reason and rhyme to flog
reprobate yours truly
figuratively doth emasculate,
thee catchword to extricate
being emotionally hogtied
warrants immediate attention,
regarding consummating series
of prurient disadvantageous
née self destructive events.
  
The best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative
exuding genital intonations to jog
all mein kampf,
I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
not to reserve judgement
towards this miscreant husband
whom identifies himself
as a dirt Poe imp of the pervert
analogous to rumpelstiltskin fable

whereby Lothario wannabe
boasts stud deed fallaciousness,
whose noggin of mine
shaped as an egghead
topped off with pinhead blocked nog,
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog
until froggy went a courtin'
into marital quagmire
woody ******* did slog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly,
one groveling, non-feeling, and sniveling
poor excuse for masculinity,
(and upstanding laughingstock
regarding spindleshanks),
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable)
humility, futility, and disrepectability
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott Harris
sought adultery, cuckoldry, effrontery...,
which unwise choices attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void

****** propensity linkedin with precepts
attributed courtesy Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirted
shirked getting caught red handed
sneaky shenanigans employed
barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed, or Oedipus complex
shrugged off Fountainhead (heavier imposition
versus Atlas shrugged) fails to bridge
(do not as Kwai)
any heavy mettle alloyed
within me psyche,
and windmills of my mind.

Handy dandy blues clues
existential mid life crisis
lacked absolute zero justification
why yours truly fraught
with hormonal secretion
embarked on warpath for concupiscence
gallivanting, frolicking, engineering
foot loose and fancy free
sabotaged matrimonial covenant,
whereby I regularly posted and answered

personal classified advertisement
with popular Craigslist website,
thus no surprise when presto digitation,
I met gal headquartered
in Coatesville or Downingtown;
she drove to Evansburg State Park
rearing to tame bucking bronco (me)
quashing, invalidating, contravening...
conjugal contractual obligation
renting asunder mine vocalized vow

to remain faithful thru thick and/or thin
seeking alternative ******* opportunity
feeble minded excuse
regarding irreconcilable differences
a vague catchall phrase
antithetical contrary to pledged troth,
embarking on maiden voyage
nsync with barenaked lady
partaking moist and meaty tender vittles.

I feebly attempted to compensate  
for dearth of absent teenage
Ninja mutant turtles
reptile brain and brawn bravado
investigated dating app experiences,
thus violated wedded vow think tryst
I yearned, trended and jump/kick started
Casanova paramour wannabe
years later subsequently
regretted quintessentially philandering

utterly disgusted at my illicit behavior
and negligence neglecting
attentiveness to offspring and spouse
forswore doting upon then
high school age daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one
(born 12/22/1996) still ******
and compromised, jeopardized,
and undermined paternal priority spawning
selfish prurient dalliances,

I das scribe, how now
brown cow objectionable
frolicking courtesy Sly
And The Family Stone
payback a *****, cuz
I feel in funky (flunky) mood,
verses when scads of Earth orbitz ago,
(round about January
two thousand and ten)
he profusely kissed

mouth of other voluptuous
(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly, kindly, thankfully... enough
in due time spouse did willingly insist
to forgive, boot never forget
long since discounting
divorce from wife
nevertheless, remaining thermally uncoupled
mandated unconditional armistice

eventually note hissed
matter of fact I dreamt
at time these lines penned
(then earlier today that May twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty two), the gist
regarding soldier of self made misfortune
toying and tinkering harming self
casually eyed sharp pointed objects
offered especial attraction
pondering hoop fully connive fist

(cuffed) around handles of cutlery
at primal, gonadal,
and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist,
hence understandably dissed
(until death do me part)
unbridled love and apology
toward thee missus and progeny,
who forever did blacklist
writ blood ginned curses
with will.i.am blackened barbs.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
thus very little paternal
(filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California
her then temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa
blatantly confessed depravity
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction
non petty irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous
on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl"),
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds done dirt cheap
buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risqué behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to con seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
repentance will forever be belabored
by me flagrantly disregarding monogamy
courtesy hardened libido
making mockery and travesty marital covenant.

The twelfth anniversary
remembered by those
caught in the cross hairs
unsuspecting lives forever altered,
a dozen people mercilessly mortally wounded
unwittingly, unfairly contributing
to morbid gun violence statistics.

Pardon me for self plagiarism,
(and posting a near identical poem
only a scant small number of months ago,
but brainstorming for a writing idea
I thought to query Google
and ask about world events for July 20th
and much to my dismay
apprised about a shooting tragedy,
which happened a dozen years ago today.

2012 Aurora, Colorado shooting:
Twas a dark knight whence
there came a pawn the hushed
crowded movie house,
a phantom of horror sprung out
of the rookery that wrought deadly havoc
renting asunder innocent audience members
anticipating batman annihilate evil
within manichean eternal duel
extant within imaginary world
of gotham portrayed on the silver screen
when out of the black curtained theater
tear gas canisters got hurled pell mell
accompanied by a fusillade
of heavy machine gunfire
sheering many lives
many in the prime ascent
sans parabola of adulthood
the youngest, a then six-year-old girl
transformed into an ashen colored corpse,
which death yet revealed
(at the time of said shooting spree)
to her young mother
critically wounded,
and clamoring for said daughter
while teetering on the brink of mortality
oblivious to stricken offspring
while family, friends, relatives
and anonymous prayers
and this heartfelt genuine communiqué
from me – a self styled nonestablishmentarian
gung-** to invoke a mandate
that high powered firearms
must be much less accessible
i.e. bulletproof laws
need implementation pronto
so inhabitants of these United States
do not fear for their lives
nor feel akin to a potential prey
sighted in the crosshairs
wantonly gunned down
from some grinning joker
slaking glee from mass killing
as to appease unquenchable thirst
to avenge some psychotic
nemesis gloating to slay
with a vengeance and contrived vendetta
promulgating pandemonium
and grisly ****** aftermath
yet despite such horrific heinous atrocity
bravery and sacrifice witnessed and extolled
from heroic instinctual motive
to offer themselves as human shield
so that carnage less devastating
than toll on madman’***** list
now in solitary confinement
and even if executed
would be a pyrrhic salve
to those forever deprived of loved ones
Burning with an eternal sorrow no matter
Generosity of cyber sympathizers
across World Wide Web
Plus the president of these United States
Reach out showering kindness
analogous to Borealis raiment!

Late afternoon April 14th, 2022
meteorologic destiny manifested...
rumbling atmospheric thud,
promised natural exultant
the sky opened up
cascading wall of water
created instantaneous flood
sound and light show
subsequently within minutes
dully rightly appraised as dud,

yours truly forced himself awake
way before dawn's early light
all for naught, yet...
thus hours later summoned,
perhaps lame poetic material
(think) potential Earth shaking
literary cause not lost

expressing disappointment
'pon absent dramatic booming anticipation,
electrifying fascination, injecting glorification
atavistic beastie boy within me
awed, charged, fascinated, jarred,
witnessing (i.e. seeing and hearing)
humbling experience beholding

dynamic latent forces unleashed
intense earsplitting, blinding
spectacular singular sensational
magnificent natural phenomena
far surpassing, née dwarfing
extravagant pyrotechnics wrought
courtesy innovative **** sapiens.

Time and again
without fail - exuberant delight
always gushes forth,
no fanfare for
totally tubular common man,
whose feeble insignificant powers
laughable and lamentable

puny human specimen
easily flicked (think
humongous sized fingers
particularly middle digit)
sending me airborn
pirouetting head over heels
at mercy of Mother Nature's whims

among brethren and sistren
constituting fray'n chipped
foo fighting ship of
motley crew zing fools
metaphorical human league
bajillion **** sapiens
even if/when global

standing military combined
be they: armies, marines,
navies... fighting force
nope, still no match
against tectonic and volcanic
potential and/or kinetic energy.

courtesy Fluoxetine hydrochloride

Fluoxetine Hcl (C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective Serotonin
Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,
and obsessive-compulsive disorder
the above symptoms
profoundly experienced by yours truly
said prescription medication
seriously impacts sleep (mine).

Debilitating panic attacks
wrought (particularly years gone by)
physiological displeasures chiefly constituting
vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration
particularly palms of hands
(diagnosed quite some years ago
courtesy Doctor Harold Milstein
as palmar hyperhidrosis), adrenaline
coursing thru body,
whereby Prozac (brand name regarding
aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable, unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, jackknifing... functionality
hijacking life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Essentially yours truly experiences
dilemma analogous to sleep deprivation,
cuz ofttimes upon arising,
I feel utterly tuckered out, exhausted, bushed...
thus zapped body, mind and spirit
ill suited to physical,
mental or spiritual endeavor
subsequently lovely bones (mine)
(pine to join grateful dead)
rather than feebly kickstart
lame effort to write, read or meditate.

Thus respecting Sir Isaac
Newton's first law of motion
a (human) body at rest
inertia keeps said entity at rest.

Interestingly enough as
daylight doth wax and wane
casting dark shadows
along the outer limits
of the twilight zone demarcating
the edge of night upon urbane
countenance buzzfeeding hidden reservoir
exerting estimable energy
decreasing arduous strain
therefore purposefulness,
I seek renewable resource to imbue
garden variety generic
doubting thomas and ordain
him (i.e. me) with spontaneous
magnificent grandiloquent enlightenment
ala Orson Welles Citizen Kane
laughable comparison linkedin
with story extraordinaire quite insane
September 5th, 2024 insight one can gain
perchance even coaxing passable poem
from deep within
Matthew Scott Harris' brain.

Just before logging off for the day,
and ready to boogie out of the joint
an email landed squarely in my inbox
cordially inviting me
into the management office
accompanied by the buzz of my cell phone:
(cue the sound of ominous music):
I unexpectedly got called
expecting to be handed a pink slip
(if you catch me drift)
suddenly my heart beat a mile a minute
and palms of hands
perspired like a wet dish rag
expecting to experienced a chop job
expecting to be chewed out by a hack
after rapping lightly on the door
before heading into the office by my namesake.

Even before taking a seat
an onslaught of rapid fire babbling besieged me
as way of introduction,
when receiving most recent assignment
for Matthew Scott Harris (me),
communicated by amiable chap
who interestingly enough
shared being christened
with exact same birth name as mine.

Rather than attempt to scribble
fast speaking mile a minute
brilliantly frenzied novel theme
prior experience taught being prepared
to stow digital dictation devices.

Upon readying recording device
to playback at my leisure,
I dramatically signaled to him
to repeat speaking, albeit ideally
at 78 rotations per minute (RPM)
while fingers of mine
lightly, yet impatiently
drummed upon the table
awaiting significantly more succinct delivery,
(yet bracing to be saddled
with what I expected
to be impossible mission
even for the stalwart
Peter Graves body double)
renown for his fast talking verbal outcome
concerning next poetic endeavor,
yet to borrow a football analogy
the writer of these word needed
self restraint less primed and prone
to block and tackle from him.

The moment he started speaking,
I then immediately ceased tapping sound
anticipating far out and groovy
prompting me to hang loose
able, eager, ready, and willing
to synthesize his incomprehensible jibber jabber,
which hopped out outburst
spurred me to ask him to talk slower
finding myself issuing imprecations
as he blithely ignored minor plea of mine
and quickly resumed chattering away
with animation, excitation, and irritation
bypassing feeble attempts of mine
mindlessly buzzfeeding and brainstorming,
an experienced "aha moment,"
thence he immediately explained
to yours truly (me) the idea,
which will hopefully be clearly expressed
courtesy the following poem.

Though instinctively writing
countless bureaucratic reports
(but more particularly typing),
never did especial attention
get paid to the particular nuances
(never mind the terms)
of kerning and tracking
that got brought to my attention
after being informed courtesy
(as iterated above) my namesake.

Kerning developed
during the era of metal typesetting,
where the term "kern" referred
to the part of a metal letter
that extended beyond its body,
allowing for closer spacing
between certain letter combinations,
making it a manual process
where typographers would physically adjust
the spacing between individual characters
by hand to achieve a visually pleasing result;
essentially, kerning has been around
since the early days of printing with metal type.

The French term originated
from the Latin cardo, cardinis, meaning "hinge."

In the days when all type was cast metal,
the parts of a typecasting sort
that needed to overlap adjacent letters
simply hung off the sort slug's edge.

Those overhanging metal pieces were called kerns.

Tracking is a similar process
to kerning that focuses
on the spacing between all letters in a word,
rather than just a few letters in a word.

Tracking is usually uniform,
meaning you apply an equal amount of space
between each letter
so that it doesn't look
too spaced out (how one feels
after getting loaded up) or too tight.

Tracking is the process of loosening
or tightening a block of text to make it look hip.

For most general writing purposes,
the "best" lead type considered to be HB
(medium hardness), as it offers a good balance
between heart of darkness and smoothness
while minimizing smudging,
making it suitable for everyday use
across different writing surfaces.

and still I feel infuriated at myself
concerning squandered funds
passively, senselessly, and willingly
surrendered nest egg
to computer hackers
(imposters, jackknifing, and liquidating)
coercing me to forfeit funds,
whereby yours truly (me) blindsided
thru convincing telephonic dialogue
witnessing unquestioned trust

I unquestioningly, unerringly, and unblinkingly
carried out instructions
essentially cadging, depleting, and exhausting,
checking and savings accounts (mine)
courtesy convincing scheme
yoking naïveté (mine)
with FAKE conspiratorial claims
Citizens Bank tellers
linkedin as thieving magpies
(twittering bird brain analogy

hatched courtesy yours truly – me)
once ridiculous ruse beak came obvious,
I never ceased
maligning self as half cracked egghead
repeatedly replaying telephonic scenario
only this time
with home grown perspicacity triumphant
and fraudsters, marauders, and usurpers
harangued, interrogated, and jailed
critiqued, maligned, and whipped
courtesy just law of the land.

Clear as day,
I still recall the bloke
who chose one alias
(probably quite a few
in his bag of tricks)
videlicet Harvey Specter,
he coaxed at least one poor sucker
(the writer of these words)
to fork over his life savings
without yours truly batting an eye,

whose gullibility now legion
among the posse of scoundrels
sharing the ease with which
money plucked out figurative fingers
(like taking candy from a child)
diminishing paucity of integrity,
increasing perspicacity of acuity,
where wool will never
be pulled over my eyes
(ewe can bet my bottom dollar)

against being fleeced,
and now a heightened awareness
a wretched costly life lesson
inflicting a painful financial contusion
additionally severely wrecking, pummeling,
and bruising psyche suddenly woke
keenly alert to the bad to the bone
doggone wicked wily weasel ways
of unrepentant rapscallions.

(for purpose of this poem
pronounce last word uh gain).

The missus uttered
aforementioned phrase
as she pulled a clump of my hair
from out the clogged shower drain
for no rhyme nor reason lemme explain
how so many globs of these strands
linkedin to scalp courtesy hair follicle,
which hair follicle essentially
a tube-like structure (pore)
that surrounds the root
and strand of a hair.

Hair follicles exist
in the top two layers of skin.

The average individual
born with over five million hair follicles
in their body and over
one million hair follicles
on his/her head, and as I aged
about that many seem to
get loosed when washing then rinsing hair,
nevertheless more hair continues
to grow out of hair follicles
smaller in size than sand grain.

I surmise that if laid end to end
each hapless hair that got plucked
out me noggin since birth
would fill many a railroad car,
(extending from Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania to Ukraine)
railcar (American and Canadian English),
railway wagon, railway carriage,
railway truck, railwagon, rail carriage
or railtruck (British English and UIC),
also called a train car, train wagon,
train carriage or train truck;
a vehicle used for the carrying
of cargo or passengers on a rail transport.

Said locomotive boxcars full to the brim
with globs of hair (mine)
after lathering locks
(each filament evincing
fifty shades of gray fibrous)
composed of 95% keratin,
a fibrous and helical protein
(in the shape of a helix),
which also comprises
composition of the skin
and of all the phanera (hair, nails, etc.).

Synthesized by keratinocytes,
keratin insoluble in water,
thus ensuring waterproofing
and protection for hair.

(joining "Wynken, Blynken and Nod"
at figurative drop of hat
even if yours truly immediately
woke from his slumbers).

When zapped of energy the sandman doth knock
no matter readout of analog or digital o'clock
hankering urge to sleep
exponentially increased with every passing tick tock.

Our marital bed
occupied about two and half score years
since we (me and the spouse) wed
even during spate (sowing wild oats -
regarding gathering rosebuds while I may)
of mine risqué business,
when unnamed husband did dread

with extreme trepidation manning left side
(picture said individual
lying on his back) atop
(sleep number)  mattress,
predicting spouse considered me
(courtesy crimes of passion)
better off dead.

Though both deux daughters
(figuratively) flew the coop
mine wife chides me courtesy
(unwittingly preceding trend
concerning popular couture),
where she playfully
pulls down mine baggy sweatpants
leaving drawers droop
around mine skinny (think chicken)
spindle shank like bow legs

bent appendage vaguely hinting hula hoop
(fake detail here, which singular purpose
to supplement reasonable rhyme
ultimately sole purpose
to lasso and loop)
exert tight hold on reader's imagination
more torturous versus unsuspected prey
subjected to deafening war whoop
after cannibals counted scalps
sacrificed victims as human zoup.

Before concluding current poem
(which prompts me to think
metaphysically ruminating regarding
when does authored written work
reach childhood's end)
possibly vexing readers
to trot off to zz top less land

miserably (perhaps purposely)
failing to pony up
reining in long overdue adieu,
where beastie boy king of schnorrers
snores dreaming about
foo fighting motley crue (in dire straits)
donned in gay apparel characteristic ecru

whereby unconsciousness
REM memorable cycles found
upper and lower eyelids shuttered
courtesy invisible glue
hermetically sealed airtight
as blocks of ice constituting
(albeit housing) an igloo

temperatures greater than
five below fahrenheit
finds me freezing off my kazoo,
hence despite somnambulant state
I (charming cheater) trod along
tundra of broken
(not very sweet) dreams.

Invariably somnolence finds me dead tired
no recourse available
when energy meter expired.

Impossible mission to thwart repose
thus once noggin plunges into pillow
thus these lovely bones
approximate rigor mortis pose
faint breathing detectable out me nose
intermittent twitching of limbs
characterize highs and lows
stuff mine dreams are made
where mishmash of images juxtapose.

I revised a poem written
January twenty second
last year – two thousand twenty one
regarding gratitude for Medicare
Insurance to foot the bill
concerning ability to heal
courtesy immune system
undergoing toe till agency
or closest approximation thereof  
impossible mission to undergo
one hundred percent protection
against contracting deadly illness,
viz latest epidemic impacting civilization.

Here at Highland Manor Apartments
Saturday January twenty third,
two thousand and twenty one,
I attest yours truly
received the first (of four)
inoculations to stave off
getting COVID-19,
thus mine poetic title
might not seem absurd.

Wednesday February third
and Friday October twenty second
same year as above
witnessed himself receiving
second and third injections respectively
to diminish vulnerability
contracting transmissible pathogen.

Today Wednesday April sixth
two thousand twenty two
poet of Perkiomen Valley
received the fourth
bringing him up to date
(or speed if you prefer druggist's lingo)
with Center for disease
control recommendations.

Aforementioned stance toward death
(meaning taking preventative measures
to live healthy existence)
obviously avoid Saturday night fever
regarding desire Stayin' Alive
and most oppressive
when mine mental, physical
and/or spiritual yours truly
takes a (swan) dive
analogous where bajillion bees
swarm from their hive.

Linkedin with well known poem by and by
penned by Emily Dickinson, I didst decry
expressed her relief
to surender release
and amazingly gracefully die
"Because I could not stop for Death,"
she aptly crafted verses to comply
reverently, merrily, and gloriously accepting
cessation of existence well nigh
as does one garden variety generic goofy guy.

All natural catastrophes aside,
plus excluding thermonuclear war,
where civilization would get fried
nullifying idea viz,
let conscience be your guide,
nor no place to run and hide
left to grapple with dystopian quandary

shuttering fright housed inside
in one **** annihilating prejudice
(white privilege included) and pride
reducing to ashes trumpeting
self importance, where snide
persona grata becomes irrelevant
as does living social
or vacationing in Telluride.

Interestingly enough,
I do not entertain notions
inflicting self harm nor suicide,
but expect longevity (to ride
one after another orbitz around the sun)

minimum total (represented courtesy
value units and tens place)
equaling the largest double digit
in plain Olde English aged
to perfection groom and bride
attains at least ninety nine years.

Despite skittering within hair's breadth or blink
looming over the edge no time to think,
cuz no matter being knight in shining armor
I can scrunch and squint thru visored *****,
and espy and the title
of a storied book by Tom Wolfe I think
Old Rotten Gotham sliding into behavioral sink,
amidst so much flotsam and jetsam

while singing Skidamarink
surrender unavoidable fate
cuz destiny dis rapper doth not shrink
and recognizes that whatever does not ****
will only make me stronger
(money back guarantee)
I attain a spry five score birthdays
and while away hours
playing solitary game of tiddlywink.