crafted when Wallace and Gromit
returned from their trip to the moon,
which I can prov-olone huck curd
(within Trump con feta ration) –
as cheesy poem crafted whey back
when the following Gouda eye idea
occurred while milking the cows.

Yea of course writing ideas unstoppably
burst asunder at the most inconvenient
opportunities such as driving Miss Daisy,
taking a shower, or using the bathroom.
Accursed ambition becoming a prolific
wordsmith (case in point Stephen King)
Woolworth riding, oddly lumbering
lackadaisical shoehorning out this
being from a self made gully. The jury
yet to decree if attempting to extricate

muss elf from tangled web of decades
old setbacks via literary output successful.
Every morning, noon and night, this chap
blunders, flounders, (like a phish out of water),
yet plod his shipshape reclusive quiet-natured
person along the boulevard of broken dreams.
Oft times, huff hind aye muss elf entering The
Dead Zone (bordering a Pet Sematary). Earlier,
a previous saunter found me surmounting
The Green Mile. Attendant in regard to these

Bag Of Bones, and Desperation to acquire
telephone contact with Cell phone quickens
pace despite Insomnia. No matter unexpected
Sleeping Beauties warrant kisses, my determination,
motivation, and slight trepidation occasionally breeds
(The Dark Half), doomsday facet deftly jackknifing lust.
Occasionally, a feeble goading simply under minds
any corporeal aim to restore endeavor to experience
Joyland. IT (creative juices within) spur meeting Rose
Red and her restorative powers. Onward atheistic

soldier goes this chap. No matter tipping point (vis
a vis hungry fatigued body clamors for Needful Things.
Revival (for food and sleep) frequently appears grim.
Downcast state of body, mind and spirit reinforced
by mirage. The Dark Tower looms ahead! Adjacent
to ominous evil looking structure silhouette casted
of a Black House. The initial ambition to ward off
abysmal results summon forth creative literary juices.
Simultaneously a migraine headache pounding pitted
courtesy spluttering, nauseating, and foaming LIX spittle.
They hammer horrifically, ferociously, and diabolically.

Shades of shad rock Under The Dome. Ma noggin
Aches like The Tommyknockers! Every attempt to locate
a royal crowning coeval counterpart jinxed with laborious
ill luck. Hell in a handbasket plight usually generates
nostalgia for destiny to Carrie be back to Old Virginny.
Sage advice from Christine, Delores Claiborne, or The
Colorado Kid, yours truly blithely heeded. As a result
(The Outsider within this paperback writer wannabe)
sports defeat written all over face. Concomitant figurative
futility gussies and kickstarts leaving invisible pockmarks.

Ordinary Dreamcatcher fate invariably finds aptly named
Writer Errs Block. Need to back track arises (figuratively)
along vista. The roads have no name. They command
stubborn respect. Near impossible mission manifested
To transcend mental hindrance. This more difficult than
playing Gerald's Game. Hence sigh embrace The Shining
opportunity to avoid Misery. Doctor Sleep would undoubtedly
encourage braving, challenging self confronting The Eyes
Of The Dragon. Such a risky pursuit could force facing pitbull
Cujo. No matter gamble foisted prospect fraught frightfully

being burned at the stake by a Firestarter. Voluntary action
brings small hairs to tingle. Hunchback, sans severely curved
spine straightens. This (The Stand) ding pose offered supreme
vision as promised by The Talisman. Tidbits by me alias
Mr. Mercedes carefully just in case The Girl Who Loved
Tom Gordon chanced to stumble upon this redoubt versus
her hours spent staring at a blinking cursor. Metaphorical
po' wet tick feet took me where they would into the Shining
and happy place called Willoughby located within the outer
limits of the twilight zone.

Just a couple weeks shy
and seven years ago to the day,
I still remember contractual obligations
our previous residential abode
724 West Railroad Avenue,
Bryn Mawr 19010 zip code
volatile relationship – poisonous
nasty hubris jump/kick started
with aforementioned videre licet, alte Frau
(quite similar to Hamburg

geschkult harsh taskmaster),
whose figurative and verbal drubbings
linkedin with angry bird disposition
twittering toward us
analogous as toxic soundcloud
ofttimes found her ready to explode
lingering hostility snapped,
popped, and crackled dark,
whereby sauerkraut ****
analogous to red hot poker face glowed
until that fateful late June
two thousand and seventeenth day.

Little did we known then,
where contractual obligations
to acquire municipal approval
to legally house borders for pay  
she got away without being penalized
nevertheless danger lurked
as well as mice and roaches skittered
like a bag of spilled skittles,
no idea where the little critters went
invariably they scattered

like pigs from a gun after war of words,
and near physical altercation
fisticuffs flew and mutual
(of Omaha) blood red rage
both parties did vent
the closest to homelessness
found Harris family
resigned to live in a tent
when lease would not be renewed
that she who charge sky high rent.

The heavy price to pay living social
along Hoity toity MainLine
Back a small number of years
thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma,
enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned
a cold shoulder to me and I’ll
avoid denigrating, haranguing,
and lambasting said dell lisle

la, whose avoidance
behavior toward me –
who goes a mile
out of her way to ensure
our paths do not cross – noah din nile
per the above –
well, perhaps a slight bit of hyperbole
viz this, mine swift tailored, harried style
per potpourri of
puzzling perturbation evinced

by said olde world germane
German dame we lease this duplex
treating us, as if we committed
some egregious crime
subsequently forced to stand trial
viz aversion toward this convivial,
frivolous and introspective chap
methinks said realtor/renter
joined a coven den
where doe eyed zen of thieves

occupy teaching rubric
of mean-ness while
taking appropriate after paging thru
selective yellow pages
from play book of Sarah Palin
which tension unlikely to cease
for the next nine months till the deed
doth expire, where by this witch a  taw
hook cans *** (ours) will be freed
of renting a long and fostered,

roach and fox infested, century21
from once salient sympathetic ear
this now manifested Scrooge like greed
reminding us (essentially
via cessation of any interaction),
how she once did heed
to our various and sundry travails –
though neither myself nor spouse,
the latter whose vociferousness
regularly exudes loathsomeness  

toward key per, once a vouch saving
storied angel without fail and indeed
wife tis not shy to vent
where a plethora of expletives lead
rant and rave toward an impending crisis
that will me send out an SOS
ever felt compelled
to join Hemlock society
or drown sorrows in mead
yet disappointment arises,

when formerly positive
dynamic now im peed
did by reasons unbeknownst to me,
who feels grateful ye chanced to read
my babbling of poetically
irrational from a regular Trader Joe,
who doth not sport Harris Tweed
nor (despite any immediate intimations)
doth newt smoke ***** nor drink ****.

We now get along swimmingly
analogous to this bro and his older sis
on the cusp of our gifted silver married years
if her presence absent, I would sorely miss
after earlier decades bereft of wedded bliss.

Rarely did yours truly acknowledge birthday
of his former fancy free presently aging bride
gathered rosebuds while
rolling in our figurative hay
contra dance paramours
playing seek and hide
as we skedaddled down the line
hoot'n and holler'n hooray
nsync with foot stomping music airing pride
without prejudice, where
sense and sensibility accompanied sashay

vaguely hinting Puritanical ethos of Jane Austen
sexually stifled era, nevertheless
suppressed flirtation pried
loose courtesy adulterous,
affectionate and amorous way
love blind prospective husband
pledged marital covenant whereby
till death doth she part, I avowedly did stride
both of us pledged troth,
when marital Gordian knot tied.

Grim reaper eventual sweepstakes
will claim yours truly and me spouse anon
obliged to answer for whom the bell tolls... -
thank you John Donne,
perhaps mine missus gains
unexpected posthumous renown
thru sewing self styled couture
repurposing scraps of material
even in afterlife her unflagging spirit

banging out sought after stitched
assortment constituting richly adorned rags
hence cause for feted celebration
representing subsequent earth orbit around sun
lovely bones of counterpart being reincarnated
into favorite flower such as Peace Lily won.

Direct attestation, communication, exclamation,
genuflection, profession...
challenging verses crafting poetic adulation
mother of deux daughters I adore
with reasonable rhyme, a literary chore
feeble attempt and lame attempt made to explore
elements of style to write loving emotions galore
and disappointing if husband did ignore
one special day among
three hundred and sixty five
less for any obligation
but more so cuz sincere motive doth jive.

Impossible challenge-response mission
to captcha alive
elusive essence defined as love
exhibited via hormonal secretion
penetrating breastworks
hoping arousal to connive
(no fallacy) as anatomical male divining rod
scouted fertile crescent,
wherein peppy did dip and dive
that drove dis once young rammy man
(during me bachelorhood daze)
sexually afire by twenty and five

celibacy spurred stir crazy state
giving bee steel impression hive
been cruelly, seriously, and unhappily deprived
feasting upon verboten fruit
unhealthy suppression plus anxiety
spelled premature *******,
and presently enjoy spouse as finest companion
no matter testosterone drive went in reverse
meaning to fiendish predilection fornicate moot.

Thee marriage strongly bolstered principally thru
playful dynamics and/or verbal/oral *******
resolving regular potential conflicts
sets virtual stage to stave off violent altercations
most likely regarding insignificant issue
summoning forth active/deep listening
a renewable (non toxic) resource.

H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y

Indentured gumption forsaken
courtesy each pulled wisdom-tooth
this hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) **** sitters hyperbole
nsync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)

teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth
merely relishes using me pickled brine
as a practiced po' wit,
whereby this logophile
doth das scribe today June sixth, tooth
house sand and twenty three, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative

slugger and word sleuth
rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth
pretty please notice ingratiation
linkedin with mine being couth
prominently tickles one and/or booth
phunny bone of bunny rabbit.

Funny bones belonging to thee
generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot
teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
(asking what's up doc)
impersonator 'course I would unroll
welcome mat (a two seater)

roomy for outsize trumpeting despot
Scottish tartan and Harris tweed
(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot
dons hat as coordinator
three ring circuits, who runs hot
and cold compliments
to thee named Ingrid,

I proffer a family heirloom ingot
(worth about the same as fine spun gold)
courtesy schizoid personality disorder,
when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...
nine month parasite huddled in utero
with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot
assimilating, gestating, maturing,

signaling mine trademark bon mot,
which aforementioned gobbledygook
devoid of sense and sensibility or riveting plot
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat
thus tis probably high time,
I mount my Clydesdale steed and happily trot
back to the house at Pooh's corner.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor
for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem
with humorous figurative bent
elbow quite aware acronym

designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist
may not necessarily wax poetic,
thus scud daddy ling dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)
wrought literary dud versus
concocting Earth shaking event

versatility exemplifying fragment
infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent
with honest to goodness intent
and no self approbation, emasculation,
indignation, obfuscation, meant
against one singular heir a parent
whose fortune on credit card bills

and automobile loan he spent,
thus futile to beseech thee dear reader
for legal tender, filthy lucre,
greenbacks, et cetera cuz
series of unfortunate events
one charity case if appreciates
reading thru plaintive feeble vent.

After the above written
rhyme without reason poetic yawping,
I took much needed reprieve NOT
to exhaust mine laudatory wellspring
subsequently all he wrote comprises something
inane, and without sophisticated substance
essentially absolute zero nothing
nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering
intellectual succor zilch
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving.

I bore witness and/or assimilated, gleaned,
and nursed implacable thirst for knowledge
courtesy reading factual narratives,
historical fiction, or biography
that since the advent of **** sapiens
avast number of civilizations
and their discontents
(throve and languished)
their legacy peppered
with historical achievements
particularly military exploits
punctuated equilibrium
by false sense of security
under_scored with relatively
long periods of peace
concluding with convulsive denouement
videre licet self destructive elements of style
sophisticated weapons of mass destruction
contrarily at the apotheosis of
scientific, mathematical, artistic...
adjudication, beautification, communication,
demystification, exemplification, fortification,
gamification, horrification, identification,
jollification, lubrication, magnification,
nazification, objectification,
pornification, qualification,
ratification, sophistication,
testification, unification,
vilification, yuppification,
and zombification for starters.

Absolute zero rhyme or reason
how antithetical characterization
against sense or sensibility such as
actualization, brutalization,
cannibalization, dehumanization,
eroticization, fanaticization,
ghettoization, hierarchization,
idolization, jargonization,
keratinization, literalization,
mythologization, nuclearization,
optimalization, politicization,
quantization, realization,
secularization, terrorization,
urbanization, vulgarization,
and weaponization.

While mulling over acceptable words that ended with either ication and/or subsequently ization, an attempt (albeit feeble) attempted to select multisyllabic words that mirrored the political landscape amidst the webbed wide world in general, and in the United States in particular, and unwittingly found me putting on my thinking cap to identify linkedin references to literature and mythology.

Though written approximately one hundred and sixty five years ago, the famous quote from A Tale of Two Cities is the which begins, ''It was the worst of times, it was the best of times'' The opening line, nearly a paragraph long, shows the extreme contradictions of the time and warns that the revolution could happen again.

Along the same vein yours truly (me) tapped Google for the following tidbit.

Ancient goddesses of vengeance, the Furies (or Erinyes) pursue and punish those who have sworn false oaths or betrayed sacred laws. In The Eumenides, they seek to punish Orestes for having killed his mother, Clytemnestra. They are monstrous to behold, and frequently work themselves up into fits of rage.

The above two examples of storied
illustrating imagining, intimating foreboding
just occurred to me out of the blue
spontaneously coming to mind
as handy dandy blues clue
to captcha the essence
of fraught perilous political winds
a worse fate than "Death and taxes"
a phrase commonly referencing a famous quotation written by American statesman Benjamin Franklin: Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

No purposeful intent predetermined what I wrote
impossible mission to slay the invisible monster
looming at large donning windswept hair
trumpeting growling sounds from his throat
spouting misinformation he blithely
invents and whenever convenient doth self quote
without fail lambasts Democratic contenders
with flat out lies, I cannot help but note
barging as some self important
egotistical obstreperous maniac
flapping his gums yacht ta yachta ya
motoring mouth sturdy as a keelboat
soulfully bellowing **** the torpedoes
make America great again – what a  hoot
never giving pause that such a supposed
nostalgic age never existed
except maybe when primordial
poetry soup awash with many an eukaryote
a generic term that describes  aqueous solution
of organic compounds that accumulated
in primitive water bodies of the early Earth
as a result of endogenous abiotic syntheses
and the extraterrestrial delivery by cometary
and meteoritic collisions, and from
which some have assumed that the
one celled organisms
equally gifted to shoe away
what would become pesky Republican
within a bajillion years one nasty brute.

Wicked bad designed day poem originally crafted
then alternately titled
for no particular rhyme nor reason:
courtesy Doctor Donald Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia.

August thirteenth nineteen hundred
and ninety nine
forever etched in the annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising
shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details
occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like a fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.

Prior to the following awful events
that unfolded aforementioned day
somewhat solemn and gray
I did not consider myself unduly superstitious
nor prone to bouts of triskaidekaphobia/
paraskevidekatriaphobia  no how no way.

Yet that particular Friday
the thirteenth baptized me
in the ****** waters of superstition unequivocally
whence upon waking said particular morning
the search for funereal garb found me
burrowing into a small closet  
while bending on one knee,
and nonchalantly rummaging

for suitable article of clothing to wear
(per the wake/
sitting shiva of William Zison
the octogenarian father in law)
an unbeknownst ill fate
lurked just seconds away
ready to cap cha an innocent prey
as any unseen observer
and/or pet would agree.

Hands rifled and rustled
thru various and sundry
miscellaneous items in one or another box
mostly clothing and other apparel
draped in coat hangers
plus a precariously perched

heavy tin of yarn heavy as rocks
began to teeter from top ledge,
than made a slow inexorable descent
in direct path of thy crown
containing valued mental stocks.

The topmost part of thine skull
felt impact of sharp metallic rim
that left an indentation in soft part of scalp –
more’n an abrasive skim
and bent circular shape

of contrivance filled to the hilt
one law of physics pertaining
to falling object (taught to me)
acquires greater mass
accelerating with velocity and vim.

Upon reflexively yet tentatively
touching raw sore spot
fingertips revealed presence of warm liquid
soon coagulating into a pulpy gordian knot
from sharp lipped impact registering nausea
and vertigo quite a lot
hence sewing crafts managed to stitch
a tattooed laceration forming a ****** clot.

Body writhed with physical torment
as if being only partially alive
whereby waves of blacking
or passing out found me swooning
ready to take a swan dive
nonetheless from Schwenksville
to Penn Valley, I did
(by divine grace) safely drive
whence family members and relatives
once destination reached, the motley crue
began organized car pool arrangements
per heading off to the cemetery,

which caravan formation  
similar to a human bee hive,
yours truly declined to go
communicating persistent distress from mishap
I bowed wowed out, stayed home
and kept company with a dog
(purportedly man’s best friend)
(said pet belonging to a friend
of eldest sister in law),
whose open palmed overtures
of mine did not jive.

An impulse found fingers reaching out
to stroke this unfamiliar animal
supposedly man’s best friend
only to find sharp teeth from canine jaw
clamped down ******* hand
which second ****** injury,
I did immediately tend
while bolts of white hot pain
shot thru lower extremity of palm
radiated upward through forearm
into shoulder did wend.

twenty three years ago
today February 4th, 2022
begat about nine months prior,
approximately late April/early May 1998,
she exited thru fully dilated ******
10 centimeters or just under 4 inches
immediately cherished as a precious gift
her radiant pink flesh did healthily glow
despite developmental delay
observed during babyhood stage,

blessed timely intervention
hallelujah to countless social services
helped bring her up to speed
and in accordance with average statistics
pertaining to population of girls
at various ages of her life
most vital metrics indicated she did grow,
and matured into an attractive young lady
now mindful (courtesy common sense
and valuable life lessons)

said offspring quite aware the necessity
to comply with status quo
unlike this nonestablishmentarian papa,
who frittered away priceless time show
wing measly abysmal track records
regarding academic and employment, though
not necessarily criminal, I barely lived
analogously solely placing big toe
within streaming rush of opportunities
upon reflection, I experience woe.

Thank you immeasurably youngest daughter
valuable Shayna Punim
beloved gifted progeny bold
coaching, daring, encouraging... herself
whether the weather hot or cold
to take positive growth risks
you count as more precious
than fine spun gold
enhancing mein kampf,
whose absence warrants
birth mama or papa to hold
our darling offspring,

when she clamors for attention,
yet prohibitive physical distance
renders impossible mission
to proffer sought after nurturing,
hence the best attempt to lyft
your spirits (if sagging)
finds me driving in one direction
across information superhighway insync with
electronic uber global positioning satellite
merely wishing ye happy birthday
now intent to email thee told.

YOU GO GIRL!

America - This nation will remain
the land of the free only so long
as it is the home of the brave.
courtesy a local Indiana man,
one named Elmer Davis -
(1890-1958) was
a journalist and broadcaster.
He worked for the New York Times
from 1914 to 1924.
As nightly news analyst
for CBS (1939-1941)
he had an audience
of 12.5 million viewers.
Roosevelt appointed him head
of the newly created
Office of War Information (OWI) in 1941.

Most likely long hours,
maybe even days or weeks
after most contentious election
witnessed within the United States
after voting machines satisfactorily deployed
(meaning at long last contender identified)
once winning candidates declared,
EVMs again kept inside the strong room
and the room locked and sealed,
which again done in front of candidates
or their representatives,
plus signs taken as well.

I don't wanna be stayin' alive
come Tuesday, November 5, 2024
particularly if the presumed winner
as forty seventh president
none other than antithetical,
despotical, egotistical, fanatical,
heretical, impractical, lunatical...
oafish hull windswept orange
and yellow spray-on
hair dyed, coiffed,
and barb burred septuagenarian,
whose tidy quasi toupee
looks like a foreign racoon
migrated onto his head.

Cuz the death knell of democracy
willfully, woefully tolls
all across the webbed wide world
because Joseph Robinette Biden Junior,
whose insistence to remain in the drawing
drew droves of electorate to the polls,
handing victory margin,
whereby countless elephants
trumpeted far and wide
affecting a Republican landslide.

Impossible mission
to keep doors shuttered
over subsequent pandemonium
to hear donkeys braying,
bobbing, and babbling
doleful "hee-haw" sound,
not because their tails pinned incorrectly,
but rather courtesy yes
screaming fans of Mötley Crüe,
(that Doctor Feelgood could not cure)
sparking seismic activity equivalent

to a 9.9 magnitude
(so take that Taylor Swift)
deafening roar that rocks the crowded house
ushering bono fide pandemonium:
the name stems from Greek pan,
meaning 'all' or 'every',
and daimónion, a diminutive form
meaning 'little spirit', 'little angel',
or, as Christians interpreted it,
'little daemon', and later.

The aftermath of a Biden loss
(not just him - and his coterie
being called "loser"
the rest of life),
but would be a field day among
die hard Republicans,
and even some renegade Democrats
that would cause
the Grateful Dead to become awake
turncoats that would find
lovely bones of Benedict Arnold

rattling and humming with U2
courtesy hullabaloo quintessentially
branding, hashtagging, vetting and
rocketing nonestablishmentarians
as political outcasts
forcing an aging long haired
pencil neck geek such as yours truly (me)
forcing us (socially conscious voters)
to forage as a foreigner alienated, ostracized,
and penalized on another planet
survival incumbent upon

the outer limits of the twilight zone,
where dark shadows morphed,
jump/kickstarted, exaggerated
into monstrous shapes
along the edge of night,
which spooky, haunting,
ghastly, eerie place
more appealing than
then prospective tragic loss of freedoms
such as life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness.

etymology encurtains, encompasses,
and encapsulates healthy fixation
why I can spend countless hours
engrossed with printed material
courtesy select magazines or books,
plus aiming to craft satisfactory
poems or prose as an avocation
to share with anonymous
well seasoned cyber surfers,
and perhaps - wishful thinking of mine
being celebrated, lauded,
touted, et cetera posthumously
as a storied author, one of the greats
of the twenty first century - ha.

As a recipient of social security disability
for scads of years -
maybe half live of mein kampf,
(courtesy a diagnosis
of schizoid personality disorder,
though Renee Cardone, a former
long time therapist linkedin with
SpringFord Counseling attested
that social anxiety,
a more accurate explanation)
regarding mental health affliction of yours truly
evident within eminent domain
of these lovely bones
since late mother brought forth
scrawny baby post parturition
January thirteenth mcmlix.

When sitting facing the external
modest size external screen
synchronized to reflect
what these fingers type on the MacBook Pro
(Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015) laptop
(like now - at approximately
nineteen hundred hours May eighteenth
two thousand and twenty four),
a profusion, infusion, and confusion
of ideas burst forth
once a title identified
for particular writing sample.

Dearth of travel experiences
severely limits potential
excellent material to access,
hence outlook grim actually nonexistent
to tell terrific tall true globe trotting tales
spanning across webbed wide world,
thus cerebral activity limited associated
with imagined people, places,
and things (some stranger than fiction - ha).

The milieu of the Internet a dogsend
to help expedite gestating, mutating,
and rotating brilliant ideas
within the mind of me,
a modest mild mannered male,
who cannot help but wince
with dismay how father time,
albeit surreptitiously unbidden sneaks
and steals away precious
days, weeks, months, et cetera,

whereby a formerly scared, nevertheless,
happy go lucky and charming little lad
particularly when ensconced
safely and soundly
within his boyhood bedroom
far away from the madding crowd
and the deafening sound of silence trumpeting,
signalling, rocketing mortal man at lightspeed
impossible mission to thwart how tempus fugit
doth captcha forsaken sweet dreams
swept away forever.

At long last, when head merges with pillow
deep sleep offers temporary escape into zee land,
and reprieve from unwanted mailer daemons
potent images actually manifested selves
of mine subconscious sphere
breathing, blinking, and begetting life
videre licet into transient transparent people
each rapid eye movement cycle
gifting illusory persona grata super powers
generated within a flash dancing icon.

Yesterday August tenth year
two thousand and twenty one,
I experienced blitzkrieg of explosive panic
shattering an ordinarily calm veneer
me (a doubting Thomas) resorting to queer
re the higher power to rescue me sanity,

inducing absent appetite
and subsequent loss of weight
(think irritable bowels),
which shell shock spurred tête-à-tête
with divine creator yours truly did state
salvation to post traumatic stress
courtesy raging conflagration
within webbed wide world inside me pate.

Both yours truly and the missus
suffered major panic attack
analogous experiencing great fall
whereby figuratively
our respective heads did crack
proxy war kickstarted incessantly bombarded
with blitzkrieg of emotional flak
bonafide doggone fusillade
without rhyme nor reason knick knack
rained down and thundered paddywhack
futile against railing training expert bombardier,
(no matter gunnery pro inside my head)
raining one after another blow,
I quickly lost track
impossible mission regarding wrack
con a sense, thus yak... yak... yak...

Continues poetaster describing his arc
of woe spiraling into endless anguish
and thinking worst case scenario did seize
thought processes, whereby
an unsuspecting individual found
and pocketed our treasured keys,
which would allow, enable and provide him/her
to steal aforementioned vehicle
and/or perhaps even access entrance
to apartment unit b44
threatening/killing both of us
referring to das scribe and his wife.

No such tragedy occurred
only rather humdrum end to saga
because wise
notion lodged itself
within sixty plus shades of gray matter (mine)
to rifle thru soiled clothes,
I hastily tossed into opened space
courtesy when bypass closet doors opened
and lo and behold sought after items beheld!

While merrily bobbing along
the boulevard of broken dreams,
which in truth measured
no more than a furlong
think envisioning myself top banana
analogous to bull headed Donkey Kong,
I felt on top of my game,
which constituted ping pong
but severely lacking

tragedy, suspense, romance, et cetera
subsequently fat/slim chance
to warrant ghost writer,
nevertheless unlikely to realize production
courtesy the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike
despite existential nihilism
grist for the paperback writer mill
recounting my life and hard times
devoid of hero or heroine unsung.

Yours truly a figurative magnet,
where racketeers come out of wood work
swooping birds of prey
pouncing like the dickens
I don't know what hit me
before being bloodied
and knocked senseless
seeing stars though hour broad daylight.
(in more ways than one).

That execrable, despicable ******...
unnamed miscreant unknown
(though only his pseudonym
iterated in many another previous poem),
no doubt laughed all the way to the bank
courtesy mine stolen funds drank
libation, while his loosed tongue
probably retold plucking cold cash
(as I play devil's advocate)
out the hands some poor sucker,

who genuinely believed fabrication
that Citizen Bank tellers
blatantly colluded against victim,
deluded him courtesy
purring voice of perpetrator
the former talk of the town,
an imbecile, whereat the latter
a practiced slyboots
pulling the wool over rapt prey
complicit in his own financial downfall

now seeking altruistic,
holistic and unrealistic benefactor(s),
I attest blatantly
showed myself laughing stock
to be ernest and frank
and brought down quite a few notches
regarding respectability bemoaning
relinquishing funds viz obvious prank.

The webbed wide world
could not give a rats ****
regarding major bone head fiasco
that found father fêted
in tragedy of his making a farce
even a kindergartner could easily parse
as rotten to the core
only has himself to thank,
where once abundant bucks now sparse

The severe punishing hell
found yours truly listing
with suicidal ideation
inner voices beckoned
though none could hear
deafening rebel yell
raging against the machinations
of cut throat venal
conniving smart aleck

requisitioning easy moolah
total eclipsed son,
whose papa scores of years ago
circa nineteen seventy six or thereabouts
(after he got laid off
from General Electric)
also experienced fiends,
who took Boyce Harris to the cleaners
and left him hanging out to dry.

(a stout rendition of O Captain! My Captain!
Perfect rhythmic rhyme with tonic
when the doth ale).

Mine eyes espy the glory per the ending
of another work day beckon Baileys Irish Creme
with Absolut certainty that Fireball named Brandy
the Patron Crown Royal abets dream
quest proof positive to expunge stressful Boss
distilling this cooked Grey Goose a gleam
with nary a clue how my ceaseless toiling efforts
play within the lager corporation scheme
assigning exemplary skills and talents within
what appears to be a ******* up losing team.

No exit out this grueling
twenty first century rat trap
when The Chips Are Down,
whereby Scotch chief en gin that air
except to drawn displeasure
and wallow in sorrows
downing ***** or house brand beer
despite  drunken state
erodes axons and synapses
snap like chattering teeth of broken gear
quickly cause tenuous grasp on queasy reality,
sanity, and tenacity rent asunder and tear.

Now that work day done
at long last, not a moment
to tally date with Jack Daniels to delay
this linkedin the conga line wants to wash away
sounds of barked orders *** bling – may
king me insides writhing
with anger as if type cast
in diabolical formidable, horrible play
whereby each active scene increases assistance
for Johnny Walker to glide and sashay.

Argh, how those last remaining minutes to escape
hubbub tick away at the pace of a snail
to these myopic eyes, which suspect manager
surreptitiously turns back clock hands male
lush hiss lee deliberately toys with sanity, thus
seek counsel from Jimmy Beam without fail
when super tramping head honcho will cease
cheap trick renouncing cruel act with ale.

Without schmaltz, Hops, skips and jumps
inebriation welcomes me by rendering taps
receding thoughts of being bound, cramped,  
and emulsified in dark cubicle Schnapps
as if invisible taut cord tears into virtual tatters
and this life of Wry lee loosed like *****
from shredded material trailing a tail that
rivals tales of Aesop's.

That  ambler liquid of the gods soothes palate
and tongue helps a  comfortably numb
feeling to settles within thine body electric
dulling the senses with heavy eyelids plum
met to close shut tight riding the wave of ecstasy,
reflecting about dad and late mum
though come the morrow, a hangover with
sensation akin to Gunter Grass
loud internal tin drum.

Upon rising sober with total amnesia sans
pandering as a buffoon
realizing fallacious gimcrackery while ensconced
in fermented cocoon
an email fried off from the top dog quickly
reminded yours truly how I did goon
off the rails, perhaps cuz of living within
a trackless caboose
August sized wife named June
adept at belting out
and playing Claire de lune.

I looked outside the bedroom window
here at B44 Highland Manor Apartments
today March 13th, 2022 low and behold
took stock of soundless grounded sideshow.

Barenaked lady, i.e. mother earth
partially sloughed off
excess weight around her girth
her downy soft negligee.

Where once ground
enshrouded in lily white
courtesy albedo effect nature
evinced twilight
no matter the
post meridiem o'clock hour quite
re: many hours after dusk
dark shadows absent
impossible mission
to differentiate edge of night

from closing day as told
once a pawn time knight
hence courtesy mine
following reasonable rhyme
syncopated metered poetic
feet tracks highlight
unblanketted silent burlesque
risqué burlesque doth excite
eventually uncovers budding
flora rooted birthright.

Though first of April
will be here eighteen tomorrows,
nevertheless old man winter
can still pack a judicious
punch without feeling regret or sorrow.

Without doubt, yours truly
eagerly awaits the Spring
equinox - 11:33 Ante Meridian
Eastern Standard Time
on Saturday, March 20
when warm temperatures
(fahrenheit thermometer)
allow, enable, and provide
ideal opportunity to bring
these lovely bones outside

soon enough sparking me
to perspire, whereby beads
of sweat on skin will cling
taking lock, stock, and barrel
envying birds and bees
enjoying (gathering nectar
from rosebuds) pollinating
while lads and lasses
engage in flowering fling.

Soon enough hazy,
hot humid dog days of summer
will usher thunderstorms - after
bolts of jagged lightning
because light travels
much faster than sound waves
humbling one garden variety
beetle browed being
awed by fantastic, electric,
dynamic, copacetic... atmospheric
phenomenon - ofttimes
wreaking havoc tossing
large objects as if trappings
of civilization a mere plaything

meanwhile scaring the bejesus
and living daylights
out of mortal creatures
scrambling for safety during
tempestuous meteorological event,
I would not miss (for the world)
witnessing explosive ear splitting,
Earth shaking deafening noise
reigning down on measly
basket of deplorables trumpeting
supremacy over feeble attempts
**** sapiens exert
upon terrestrial firmament.

Though the might of man
puny compared/contrasted
with tremendous potential
pent of energy released courtesy
planetary tectonic,
meteorologic, and atmospheric
dynamic processes,
one terroristic oaf clamors
to wrest powers latent
within the gods, yet must be
stopped dead in his tracks
lest democracy and every
form of government obliterated.

Saint Patrick's Day, or
Feast of Saint Patrick
Lá Fhéile Pádraig
invoke even non Irish to proclaim
Éirinn go Brách
translated as "Ireland Forever."

Though semitic thru and thru
yours truly (me) dons guise of being Irish
trumpeting hoople linked with
the folklore and culture of Emerald Isle
juiced tin he nuff tame afore
thee 2024 Saint Patrick's Day,
(hens this faux written accent
donned to sail hub berate won big todo
fur those peep pull
o' Eire rush deuce cent)

aye pretend, and thence make oop
duff fallow wing vary minor event
harkening back e'er sins this generic gent,
hooped tubby imp poet hint wannabe,
(who hapt tubby absent
without leave from Brogue kin home
since a lil whippersnapper, and accident
boot tappin), when me note holler than
garden variety leprechaun, advertisement
tuff hind miss elf, no major ailment -

good red ants tomb ma late mum,
which fair re: creatures, no argument
booth us, iz moar rare than
finding far leaf clover,
and eek will coz fur astonishment
eef hoodlum (caw zing
bedlam) sought atonement
Yukon bull heave or no,
how life on the lamb
as a Dublin street urchin met belligerent

scruffy geezers old looking and bent
till kind ole soul named C. Clement
took yaws truly as apprenticed
Baron without complaint,
though kept ma lidded concealment
secret til search abandoned confident
gnome hissing pipsqueak,
would be sorely missed
giving fresh start with help to coinvent
patois, and be comb real estate magnet

ne'er no wing want oof
basic needs - yea content
in due time making pile
moan hee tall as Taj Mahal
kicking back during Lent
gerrymandering convalescent
old age spinning yarns
for modest copayment
total tubular tales with
nary a Harris Boss Tweed
stitch of truth.

poise zen dystopian rant

This prognosticator doth predict
potential based at current rate
sinister debacle that will
instantaneously annihilate,
United States storied republic,
which alarming horror
points to instantaneous annihilation
of America the beautiful;
(ohm my dog) turbulent
endemic chaotic spate

within human race poised to strike
doom and generate
shock tummy once
amp pull goldenlocks,
now revealing a shiny baldpate
erratic behavior attendant prescient
intimations presage apocalyptic fate
while current commander in chief
didst unwittingly generate,
and sow the seeds of anarchy sparking

global conflagration that will create
instantaneous prime evil
total mortal kombat,
cuz "FAKE" mandate
issued, when Trump went ballistic
loose sing rockets red glare,
when pressing hot button to demonstrate
thermonuclear supremacy,
(albeit a moot point),
would render superfluous need to late

to draft intestate
last (or perchance first, second,
third...) will and testament, tete a tete
perhaps minuscule (nee infinitesimal) bomb
turns out a dud (Amazon, Toys "R" Us
Walmart, or  store
of choice reject) aye narrate
finding Don irate
(blaming "crooked Hillary," democrats,
gumby...yours truly...)

the list goes on, thus no need to iterate,
thus a sudden religious fervor gripped
the wide webbed world
attributing why weapons did not actuate
which found pontiff in high demand
in an attempt to accommodate
frenzied zeal attributing aborted blitzkrieg
to divine intervention with bajillion
talking heads airing where to dedicate
material trappings to indigent, great

full not dead, plus those petty
criminals rightly or wrongly,
the strong arm of
lanced law did incarcerate
bowed down on daily and nightly basis
exploding huzzahs every
human did *******
"not prematurely," where
all walks of life did integrate,
a spontaneous international

utopian revelation awoke
with linkedin diversity to promulgate
protecting the planet took precedence
yea right Matthew Scott - dear mate
only in the context of
this poem I did create
on December twenty third
two thousand eighteen,
and now hemming and hawing
CANNOT wait,

thus conscientious, fractious, and incautious,
members of the electorate
must not shirk their role
as arbiters of life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness
obliging themselves obeisance
to the fifteenth amendment
of the United States Constitution,
which prohibits the federal government
and each state from denying

or abridging a citizen's right to vote
"on account of race, color,
or previous condition of servitude,"
when said legal resolution
ratified on February 3, 1870,
as the third and last
of the Reconstruction Amendments
cuz the wise ghost of Abraham Lincoln
did not procrastinate.

I feel honored, and flattered to acquaint myself (a married youthful looking sexagenarian solitudinarian from southeastern Montgomery County, Pennsylvania), yet feel awkward at jump/kick starting a rapport.

Literate lettered latitudinarian looms larger than life

Presents the following slapdash
higglety-pigglety bupkis, whereby reader
experiences being mentally hogtied
perusing pseudo poetic perambulation
devoid of sense and sensibility
welcoming character assassination
concerning pride and prejudice
of yours truly (me),
who merely strung together
words sharing "arian"

as their last five letters
for no particular rhyme nor reason
quite aware that forced gobbledygook
underwrites storied reputation
of unnamed aspiring author
cramming nonsense linkedin
jibber-jabber hodgepodge fashion
deplorable basketed mumbo jumbo
giving pop slop a run for its' money.

Yours truly (me) considers himself
(courtesy obsessive compulsive fixation
with alphabetization even when dreaming
counting sheep jumping
over figurative fence by first name)
drawn toward being abecedarian,
albeit hankers being agrarian,
yet I consider myself suburban simian
(a garden variety **** sapiens)
no more significant than alcyonarian

expressing his antiauthoritarian,
intolerance toward antiegalitarian,
antihumanitarian, antilibertarian,
agog over antiquarian tomes replete
with antitotalitarian manifesto buzzfeeding
ma (zee papa's) sixty plus shades of gray,
cuz hive got news for you
courtesy me, a generic erudite apiarian,
non-aquarian, once mighty araucarian,
(when during Jurassic
and Cretaceous periods

our family achieved maximum diversity
distributed across almost entire
webbed wide world), nevertheless
one humble wordsmith
decries authoritarian, barbarian, Cesarean
segmentation of rooted centenarian elders
strongly resembling cnidarians,
who foster communitarian, contrarian
culinarian, disciplinarian,
disestablishmentarianism

decrees expatiating dogmatic,
emphatic, idealistic duly strict ethos
incorporating freedom of the press
documentarian, egalitarian
establishmentarian, filarian favoring fruitarian
disavowing jump/kickstaring futilitarian endeavors
administering grammarian, hereditarian,
questioning humanitarian
versus inegalitarian paradigms
celebrating progressive legislation

courtesy coterie as Democratic jubilarian
attributing insights to sustenance
comprising Diet of Worms
and laminarian, which boosts rock ribbed
lapidarian, libertarian, librarian lunarian,
who dons gay apparel and trumpets
majoritarian fly in the ointment milarian
espousing millenarian credo,
whereby absent free will necessitarian
forces at large effect staid

senior citizens, especially nonagenarian,
advocating nonauthoritarian, bookish nonlibrarian
nonsectarian, nontotalitarian, nonutilitarian,
beefy nonutilitarian, nonvegetarian,
and octogenarian brethren,
begat in part courtesy
ovarian haploid gamete,
which offspring could trend toward
ovolactovegetarian maybe collecting
parian ware adornments

pricey merchandise afforded
courtesy parliamentarian income
sessions conducted (without resistance),
whereby officials closely resemble
blood ******* planarian ceaselessly
patting each other
(and themselves) on the back
congratulating exulting, gushing
ala Old Faithful platitudinarian
attributing their foibles to postlapsarian

forebears awaiting salvation postmillenarian
bags already packed eagerly
awaiting deliverance into seventh heaven
as promised by divine
predestinarian time analogous
to virtuous age of innocence
re: prelapsarian or lost souls peopling congress
and house of representatives
purportedly official do bidding
for proletarian class of population

once upon bajillion years
in the past initial life forms
similar to radiolarian
propelled themselves thru primordial sea
after lapse of eons diverse riparian organisms
with nary a hint of vocations
such as rosarian, sanitarian, sectarian
seminarian dedicated worker
still going strong
as septuagenarian, or sexagenarian.

adieu from one:
solitudinarian sublibrarian totalitarian trinitarian
turbellarian uniformitarian unitarian utilitarian
valetudinarian pseudo vegetarian veterinarian
and vulgarian zoantharian.

when president elect Donald John Trump
sworn in vowing to accept the following pledge.
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm)
that I will faithfully
execute the Office of President
of the United States,
and will to the best of my ability,
preserve, protect and defend
the Constitution of the United States,"
whose surprise come from behind
winning as commander in chief
ten days after Tuesday, November 5, 2024
doth stymie and stump
the writer of these words,
who would much prefer leader
of our free webbed wide world
a character like Forrest Gump.

I find myself dumbfounded
and not trying to be a smart ***
foo fighting generic humble
sitting on his ****,
nevertheless, I rather imagine
(fire breathing snapping) dragon,
whose known fearsomeness clearly recognized
versus accompanying, (albeit riding shotgun)
in his swiftly tailored
harried stylied customized reo speedwagon
freshly minted forty seventh president
as he cozies up
with top three notch totalitarian rulers
of the webbed wide world
such as Ali Hosseini Khamenei,
Vladimir Putin, and
Kim Jong Un for starters.

Soon - once dominion wrought
upon peoples of these United States
freedom of life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
will find inalienable rights
enshrining Declaration of Independence
and Constitution well taut
flag rent internecine conflict
pitting free soilers against slave owners

and rendered all for nought
countless young lives sacrificed
upon hallowed ground,
where vicious battles fought,
and feverishly achieved
courtesy unimagined beastie boys
nsync with cutting crew
witnessed progressive solutions
with grievous social issues,

but now that big bad Don
secured a majority
of 270 electoral votes
required to elect as POTUS,
(and did you notice absent
accusation of rigged elections?),
where gubernatorial celebrants
swigged one after another draught
of legitimacy to lampoon

anybody and everybody at will
invariably kindle sophisticated wordsmiths,
who possess an incisive wit and wisdom
would showcase their adroit skill
in their zeal to fulminate
against self appointed
dictatorial henchmen as bitter pill
wickedly spewing phlegm out nostril
demanding theatrical performances

attendance required or else
lest one get hashtagged as linkedin
with subversive nasty happy horsesh*t
as stipulated in their handbill
addressed to each person
electronically and courtesy hard copy
individually courtesy autofill
utilizing a generic template
to pronounce all future edicts.

Away thinly veiled threats
to wreak havoc
and foment spoiled Christmas
for the next four years,
whereby maybe Santa
in league with reindeer and elves
can arrange for Cruella
to feign being his long lost sis
before he gets his bear size paws
on documents painstakingly drafted

against British sovereignty
over fate of thirteen colonies
to relish contra dancing
at all hours of the day and night
(watch for ContraCopia
Saturday, November 30, 2024 -
2:00 pm until 11:00 pm)
where all proceeds go
to raise fiddler on the roof
atop complex edifice,

where wild asparagus throve,
and swallowtail butterflies
flitted to and fro, hither and yon
totally oblivious, judicious,
fractious, capricious, and adventitious
dramatic changing of the guard
upholding fledgling recipe for
Norwegian bachelor farmers
forefathers/mothers to jump/
kick started democracy.

Ah... nothing more enjoyable
than acidic gastric fluid (bile)
flowing backward into esophagus,
resulting in heartburn, meanwhile
disrupting pleasant dreams,
which phenomena also known as
gastroesophageal reflux (GER)
found me discombobulated
and swiftly tailored into harried style.

Unsure how successful literary endeavor
crafting reasonably rhyming poem;
actually the following
written a couple years ago
with only slight modification
regarding aforementioned topic
yielding moderately satisfactory
(née middling) result.

While deeply asleep
scant minutes before dawn's early light
burning sensation within deep
tracts of throat did creep,
yours truly immediately awoke
with a start, at strong violent
urge to upheap
(upchuck, toss my cookies, regurgitate...)
insync on par to set Guiness Book
of world records to leap
analogous to lemur

at lightspeed into bathroom,
(these lovely bones
ne'er made jaunt to water closet
but collapsed in a heap -
injuring right hand in the process)
nevertheless, I made little
on the contrary no bowed peep,
but immediately stood
bolt upright stock still
after crumbling to the floor
tear ducts activated eyes
as if ready to weep.

Sadness less pervasive than fright
since reverse peristalsis uncommon
within mine body electric regarding plight,
which analogous volcanic eruption
albeit bubbling magmatic flow slight
retroperistalsis or antiperistalsis
found yours truly
on par with fire breathing dragon argh
ga you ably momentarily nonplussed -
while dry cough minus gushing lava
gratefully only smoldered before simmering

upper gastrointestinal lining
courtesy mouthfuls of bottled water
allowed, enabled, and provided satiation
sudden unquenchable thirst relieved
resultant unpleasant aftertaste (no pun
intended), yet distilling humor helps
me weather, manage, cope... with
unexpected physiological fiery phenomena
- shot straight up within digest
heave tract, and did lament this rick
kitty packet of muscle and bone aft

times susceptible to disheartening
woebegone news afflicting this non
Norwegian bachelor farmer, whom
if the missus cooking triggered bout
unleashing bit torrent of unsavory
plate tectonics, perhaps indicative
of continental drift shrunk down to
miniature, (think nanobot size)
where fault in thee stars
must be held in contempt of court.

No reason for inclusion of above verse,
(previous ten lines), I just wanted
to incorporate said phrases, tip peer
me got some legal lear'n, when truth
Philly admits he seems to know less,
the more he learns, which prompts me to

posit emphatically that ignorance
equivalent to bliss, thus presenting
quandary how kin this pronouncedly
reasonably intelligent garden variety
**** sapiens unfetter himself with

cumulative knowledge without reek
horse (neigh) to invasive surgery such as...
prefrontal lobotomy, or tamping down
smarts some unknown cyber surfer(s)
could easily misconstrue as vainness,
smugness, quintessential pomposity?

I haint no spring chicken,
("Buk buk buk buk ba-gawk!")
but in Summer re:
long in tooth sexagenarian
nostalgic for the following imagery
evoked yesterday with very little effort
(aside from sweat of my brow – just existing)
June twenty second hazy, hot, and humid
at least here within the environs -
of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
tooth thousand and twenty four,
the air analogous to a steam bath outside,
though such insight
strictly predicated on meteorologist
as seen on the flat screen.

Now before scrolling down
lemme forewarn you of dire prediction
reading about how yours truly
doth suspire for Old Man Winter
returning with a vengeance
delivering a white July Fourth, Halloween,
Thanksgiving, Christmas,
Groundhog Day, Saint Patrick's Day...
yours truly desiring experiencing
becoming comfortably numb,
after envisioning, invoking
then summoning forth cold spell.

Should deep freeze rain (reign)
crystalline precipitation pure as the driven snow
blanketing large swaths of webbed wide world
wreaking havoc courtesy
unparalleled blizzard conditions,
would stump and confound earth scientists
suddenly finding themselves pensively *******
subsequently becoming overnight skeptics
and staunch Republicans to boot - argh,
who grudgingly, hesitatingly scrap

what seemed to be
irrefutable air tight evidence
with reams of data proving global warming
and side with deniers –
mostly non Democrats
courtesy artificial intelligence
hinting at inexplicable
significant ice age approaching,
barreling, and coming fast as a freight train
virtual models prognostication

would show Polar Vortex
engulfing the entire planet
clamping down hard
much of the United States
likely a couple short months in the future,
forecasting temperatures to register absolute zero
taxing the electric grids to heat lovely bones
chilling, freezing, immobiling civilization, whereby
government agencies regularly issuing
permanent code blue declarations,

which teeth chattering cold scenario
impossible mission to imagine or avoid
with wind chill factors in triple digits
Jack Frost overstayed courtesy welcome,
when climate controlled central heater
allows, enables and provides
man/woman made respite hooray,
apartment cozy as a poetry nook,
whereby yours truly his head he doth lay
(under crocheted blanket)

quickly slipping into deep sleep;
the missus (madre) and her padre
(me) taking a siesta until spring
in my dream I take treadway
from such new zzz land
to Piccadilly Circus, London,
welcoming me to early twentieth century
balmy weather all year round
place named Willoughby, where one
unnecessary to get bundled

and wrapped up –
like a mummy dearest  
kvetching in vain at frigid forecast oy vey,
where surveillance cameras take x-ray
of suspicious character - Not Me,
while actually in reality
outside apartment B44
one after another Nor'easter
howls like bajillion banshees
vents wind chill factor

as temperature dips
into low double digits as high,
and subzero higher negative number as a low,
I summon (with a puff) fire breathing
friendly quasi magic dragon,
an acceptable and laughable substitute
calls for none other than Barney
purple anthropomorphic
Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur.

Though a non-smoker of cigarettes,
I discover pleasure slowly puffing
on my pipe, and chose one at random
from among the collection
made of briar wood, meerschaum,
corncob, pear-wood, rose-wood or clay  
listening to crackling flickering hearth,
yours truly snuggling
(curled up in a little ball)
with favorite reading material
close proximity warming,
thawing, and quelling lovely bones.

For no particular rhyme nor reason
I lapse into a reverie
and hear the brutal and nasty wind
plaintively howling the song Molly Malone
her lilting voice distinctly heard
Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

Meanwhile atavistic visitations hover
after hypnotizing mindscape
of twenty first century **** sapien
as flashback visions of proto humans
commingling with competing
short and nasty brutes
brushes within subconscious
purring, mew zing catacombs
jump/kick starting, harkening,
dawning lion eyes zing

thawing ordinarily dormant memories,
where forebears alive bajillion years ago
battle him of the republic
thumping their chests
and uttering primal sounds
against vastly outnumbered predators,
who make mincemeat of weakest warbler
similar to contemporary beastie boy punk bands
survival of the fittest
linkedin to anonymous

Monkey's Uncle recherché representatives
toehold barely latched
precarious niche easily
activated punctuated equilibrium evolutionary quirk
imperceptibly bumped uglies
begot robust progeny
offspring expanding comfort zones
penumbra expanding edge of night
dark shadows receding further
outer limits of twilight zone

phantasmagoric shifting shapes (hint...
think Plato's Republic in general –
and Allegory of the Caves in particular -
synonymous with Allegory of the Metals)
alluring, beckoning, daring...
establishing, foraging, growing...
harvesting, invoking, jabbering
kowtowing, livingsocial,
Ashley Madison matchmaking tinder (ha)...

now lemme zip forward
back to the future
bajillion years somewhere in time circa 1970's
British comedy troupe
nudge nudge wink wink,
say no more
know what I mean courtesy
Monty Python's Flying Circus
rollicking humorous sketches
oft times tackling primal urges
proto humans initially verbally grunted,

where guffawing laughter
rewarded survivalist basic instinct
temporarily staving rabid
quivering premonitions outside
creature comfort boundaries,
whereby Geico Caveman
will remain till... dis ember
by George thoroughly good appetizer,
viz good chilled Wren plus
Pheasant under glass
burns away hunger pangs.

and still I feel infuriated at myself
concerning squandered funds
passively, senselessly, and willingly
surrendered nest egg
to computer hackers
(imposters, jackknifing, and liquidating)
coercing me to forfeit funds,
whereby yours truly (me) blindsided
thru convincing telephonic dialogue
witnessing unquestioned trust

I unquestioningly, unerringly, and unblinkingly
carried out instructions
essentially cadging, depleting, and exhausting,
checking and savings accounts (mine)
courtesy convincing scheme
yoking naïveté (mine)
with FAKE conspiratorial claims
Citizens Bank tellers
linkedin as thieving magpies
(twittering bird brain analogy

hatched courtesy yours truly – me)
once ridiculous ruse beak came obvious,
I never ceased
maligning self as half cracked egghead
repeatedly replaying telephonic scenario
only this time
with home grown perspicacity triumphant
and fraudsters, marauders, and usurpers
harangued, interrogated, and jailed
critiqued, maligned, and whipped
courtesy just law of the land.

Clear as day,
I still recall the bloke
who chose one alias
(probably quite a few
in his bag of tricks)
videlicet Harvey Specter,
he coaxed at least one poor sucker
(the writer of these words)
to fork over his life savings
without yours truly batting an eye,

whose gullibility now legion
among the posse of scoundrels
sharing the ease with which
money plucked out figurative fingers
(like taking candy from a child)
diminishing paucity of integrity,
increasing perspicacity of acuity,
where wool will never
be pulled over my eyes
(ewe can bet my bottom dollar)

against being fleeced,
and now a heightened awareness
a wretched costly life lesson
inflicting a painful financial contusion
additionally severely wrecking, pummeling,
and bruising psyche suddenly woke
keenly alert to the bad to the bone
doggone wicked wily weasel ways
of unrepentant rapscallions.

Back approximately half my life ago
dissociative disorder
if qualified to self diagnose
mein kampf psychological state...

I lacked emotions where others concerned.

That refrain replayed itself,
when wife picked up
(like a broken record),
where parents left off
before they entered
another dimension
(maybe the fifth)
of space and time
(hosted courtesy Rod Serling),
where yours truly (me)
repeated until blue in the face
don't hock my chinik
to the missus lest
a potential crime scene
draws The Mod Squad.

Though she ceased reiterating
magnum opus of colorful epithets
towards me, daunting effort
well nigh impossible to ignore
daily USDA over dosage
stinging derogatory, heavily re: tar did
psyche stunted, wrathful
verbal artillery fire remains with me
to this moment in tandem,
and keep lock step company with malicious
noxious obloquy pilloried,
quotidian rate sundering unsung
vitality within zealous
aspiring bookish chap.

Daily eruptions
from glowering Hercules
inundated, jack-knifed, linkedin
fin de sic cull nursing offal
personal quaking resentment stewing
toxic watershed unleashed veritable,
red hot wrath, undermining vivacity
within yawping seething, tormenting
uber vitality wreaking
yours truly x ***** she hating,
killing motives of papa querulously,
rabidly scathing, terrorizing

sole son, who for better
part of marriage underwent
lighter version of invectives
cutting me down to size,
asper zero self worth, though
calmer days prevailed between
 huzz-band and spouse, yet nonetheless
indelible imprimatur undeniably
etched overtop palimpsest
raw hide of self esteem.

Twas quite recently,
this heir indubitably coaxed sea legs,
more so regarding self acceptance
felt emboldened,
empowered, and emancipated
from invisible shackles
bounding (akin to Gulliver)
a dire straightened situation.

Thru auspices of divine help
(then Lower Merion counseling offices)
professional psychiatrists
psychologists quelled
retaliatory spiteful treatment
upon banshee hushed heads
(high school peers,
parents and fiendish ghoul-
lash humans) intently joyously kindled,
lamentable mean name calling
(though sticks and stones
ne’er hurled venality broke
lovely bones), the sheer redundancy
to remain passive
internalizing verbal cut throat,
villainous wicked yik yaks zapped
ambition to fight back,
and desire to live.

Characteristics against cross purposes
predated onset of bullies took delight
feigning Brutus Maccabeus
lashing at diminutive, harried,
and introverted Capricorn
incessantly lambasted, ostracized,
and repulsed from LivingSocial
hermetically sealing within bubble wrap,
could not thwart nor deflect
piercing poison tipped daggers
puncturing outermost covalent shell,
reminiscent pock marks from yesterday.

Though cessation of banal, devilish frothing
at mouth nastiness no longer prevails,
an inordinate number
of bumped ugly chronologically
bereft experiences, detached, estranged,
fostered knee-**** reactions
against socialization, brought
to light this moment
pregnant revelation no need
to discern what cauterized alienation.

Seeds of white lily
begot ordinary individual
(now middle aged male
lxv passages around black hole sun)
accepts schizoid personality disorder
born free and clear
within utero bolstered
by external forces
finds me aware essential core being
alive absent til death do me part.

(for purpose of this poem
pronounce last word uh gain).

The missus uttered
aforementioned phrase
as she pulled a clump of my hair
from out the clogged shower drain
for no rhyme nor reason lemme explain
how so many globs of these strands
linkedin to scalp courtesy hair follicle,
which hair follicle essentially
a tube-like structure (pore)
that surrounds the root
and strand of a hair.

Hair follicles exist
in the top two layers of skin.

The average individual
born with over five million hair follicles
in their body and over
one million hair follicles
on his/her head, and as I aged
about that many seem to
get loosed when washing then rinsing hair,
nevertheless more hair continues
to grow out of hair follicles
smaller in size than sand grain.

I surmise that if laid end to end
each hapless hair that got plucked
out me noggin since birth
would fill many a railroad car,
(extending from Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania to Ukraine)
railcar (American and Canadian English),
railway wagon, railway carriage,
railway truck, railwagon, rail carriage
or railtruck (British English and UIC),
also called a train car, train wagon,
train carriage or train truck;
a vehicle used for the carrying
of cargo or passengers on a rail transport.

Said locomotive boxcars full to the brim
with globs of hair (mine)
after lathering locks
(each filament evincing
fifty shades of gray fibrous)
composed of 95% keratin,
a fibrous and helical protein
(in the shape of a helix),
which also comprises
composition of the skin
and of all the phanera (hair, nails, etc.).

Synthesized by keratinocytes,
keratin insoluble in water,
thus ensuring waterproofing
and protection for hair.

In 2024, daylight savings time will begin at two o'clock ante meridiem on Sunday, March tenth. That will mean losing an hour of precious sleep and moving the clocks (around your house, and sundry frequented places) forward one hour, though your cell phone, computer, and television plus other electronic devices will likely automatically adjust. The sun will appear to rise and set an hour later.

Father time evinces spectacular robustness despite weathering setback of countless finagling representation viz Chronos (/ˈkroʊnɒs, -oʊs/; Greek: Χρόνος, [kʰrónos], "time"), also spelled Khronos or Chronus, is a personification of time in pre-Socratic philosophy and later literature. Chronos. Personification of time. Time Clipping Cupid's Wings (1694), by Pierre Mignard. Symbol.

Though crafted a few years back
jet lag effect affects yours truly
twice each year when schedules
within body electric
such as circadian rhythm
dislocate psyche
analogous to seismic shift
NOT attributed to global warming,
nor aeronautically bound sky high,
but linkedin to hour hand
on analog clock
set ahead or behind one hour.

Just about a bajillion moments ago
(from date/time
I wrote these words),
a dawning realization
arose within this sol son begat
from ma late mother
and (initial commencement
of this poem) while
then octogenarian widower father,
lived at Normandy Farms
Senior Community

in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania
(he since passed away
October 7th, 2020)
oh... no nothing cat
tuss strophic, boot
merely the revelation,
how fist bumping dee clocks
an hour hand ahead
remembered by dat
dog gone refrain
spring ahead, and fall back,

this unemployed chap
doth down play eclat
attests that his quotidian rising
schedule minimally affected
holed up here
in Highland Manor named flat
roomy enough for thyself, the Missus,
and buzzfeed ding fruit flies
each approximately the size of a gnat
a minor nuisance, though tolerable
within this appealing habitat,

where minor inconvenience experienced
by this Schwenksville, Pennsylvania resident
cuz as a recipient
of social security disability
(social anxiety) this psyche didst get rent,
which fixed (unearned) income budgeted
and predominantly costs
of living money spent
hence no need to arise
bright tailed and bushy black eyed,
pea yon sought freedom akin

to folks camped out in a tent,
which exemption immunizes
this doodle ling middle aged
muddle brained chap subjected to ranting
courtesy early morning drivers,
who angrily, frenetically,
and splenetically rant and vent
thus, the tendency, piquancy, and lunacy
to twitter (for the Yardbirds),
and keep company
with night owls, who went

a hooting for all the world wide web
to hear, whence dawgs Bach
the exact number of hours, yet oblivious
to the tight rigorous
tenon mortised schedule
manned by Mister Clock,
essentially foisting on Bread Winners,
an abstract artificial construct spurring
madcap commuters
to scurry in the rat race,

lest tardiness could cost
more than paycheck
(to ap pier with permanent dock
hue ment aye shun),
an unwonted blot add hoc
king worry about getting canned -
i.e. on permanent furlough,
perhaps forced into a life of crime,
yet if caught...
wasting away in a jail cell

as warden turns the lock
one redeeming factor,
would offer opportunity to mock
management, and more pertinently
mandate to rock
and roll to the incessant muted,
rhyme without reasonable schlock
yet devastatingly loud tick tock
analogous to stir fries
noisily prepared in wok.

Late afternoon April 14th, 2022
meteorologic destiny manifested...
rumbling atmospheric thud,
promised natural exultant
the sky opened up
cascading wall of water
created instantaneous flood
sound and light show
subsequently within minutes
dully rightly appraised as dud,

yours truly forced himself awake
way before dawn's early light
all for naught, yet...
thus hours later summoned,
perhaps lame poetic material
(think) potential Earth shaking
literary cause not lost

expressing disappointment
'pon absent dramatic booming anticipation,
electrifying fascination, injecting glorification
atavistic beastie boy within me
awed, charged, fascinated, jarred,
witnessing (i.e. seeing and hearing)
humbling experience beholding

dynamic latent forces unleashed
intense earsplitting, blinding
spectacular singular sensational
magnificent natural phenomena
far surpassing, née dwarfing
extravagant pyrotechnics wrought
courtesy innovative **** sapiens.

Time and again
without fail - exuberant delight
always gushes forth,
no fanfare for
totally tubular common man,
whose feeble insignificant powers
laughable and lamentable

puny human specimen
easily flicked (think
humongous sized fingers
particularly middle digit)
sending me airborn
pirouetting head over heels
at mercy of Mother Nature's whims

among brethren and sistren
constituting fray'n chipped
foo fighting ship of
motley crew zing fools
metaphorical human league
bajillion **** sapiens
even if/when global

standing military combined
be they: armies, marines,
navies... fighting force
nope, still no match
against tectonic and volcanic
potential and/or kinetic energy.

Woebegone and egg foo young on you
meaning me of course
sidestepping a crucial positive
electric kool aid battery acid test
prior to pledging troth,
and tying Gordian knot
to strangulation point,
never fending for myself,
nor being disaster about to happen.

I did house/pet sit when parents
went away on their time sharing vacation
minimally satisfyingly jump/
kick starting, placating, compensating
for dashed ***** state
offering smattering of taste
regarding all those unrealized
golden (gated) opportunities.

Case in point conducting,
honoring, liberating unstinting pyromaniac
kindling burning man within me  
continuously aggravating, enraging, and inflaming
Lower Providence fire department.

When roaring towering inferno
crept frightfully close to nearby houses,
yours truly banked on his guardian angel
rescuing me as smoldering tinder
spread like... what else wildfire.

The dolled guise firewoman incarnate
none other than Mary Poppins,
who still appeared rather gracefully slick
(especially during rainy weather)
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda
protagonist courtesy film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
ruler of the Quadling Country

South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
riding her reo speedwagon
at light speed in nick
of time (in case of flat tire)
she will travel on her
state of the art broomstick,
but unfortunately said
courteous wonder women
long since retired though the former

still residing in her dotage
at the Banks residence,
nevertheless in an emergency
either one or the other
willingly avail themselves
providing freelance capering
constituting steep consulting fee services
while comfortably holed up
in their respective bailiwick.

After extinguishing blaze,
she and her sidekick The Cat In The Hat,
who just showed up out of thee blue (flame)
briefly secretly conferred
before delivering merriment
to drudgery of housekeeping chores
training, loosing, and applying
their joint secret powers
both as domestic facilities managers.

They gingerly launched, pitched,
tackled traditional domestic disaster,
with collective snap, crackle, and pop
of handy dandy magic fingers
before disappearing themselves.

A sudden whoosh rectified
messy living quarters
overflowing with countless generations
well fed healthy energized dust bunnies
automatically relegated and swept into dustbin
suppressing urge to boastfully brag
to nobody in particular.

Whistling while I worked
yours truly simultaneously  
cooked gourmet cuisine
excelling serving culinary house
special of the day,
qua charcoal brisket ala burnt offerings,
potchkying, scalding yours truly
courtesy untimely uncovering
pressure cooker, or weathering
comedy of errors
flipping upside down

all's well that ends well,
or experiencing severe
irreparable psychological trauma,
vis a vis creating hell's kitchen
house of horrors, mortal mishaps,
world wide webbed
series of unfortunate events,
or shenanigans deemed rite of passage
including indulging sybaritic life
linkedin with living single
fancy free and footloose,

thus imperative for this bard
to compensate aforementioned loss
postulating poetically
prevaricating potschking
as chef boyardee
envisioning, speculating, ruing
laundering with excess detergent
feigning enjoying drowning,
actually playfully wallowing
within sea of bubblicious sudsiness,
Spongebob Squarepants would die for
(unless he happens tubby in Darfur,

no particular rhyme nor reason),
while there purchasing
for this unassuming
devil who wears prada
mine surprise constituting
red badge of courage
surviving helter skelter welter
trials and tribulations
knowing I got true grit
accruing commensurate
valuable salient self survival skills
unexpectedly apprenticed with a book deal.

Circa August 18th, 2021
three years ago to date,
nevertheless I count blessings,
so please do not hashtag me
as worse than an ingrate
or one whose dire financial straits
attributed to flimflam scam artist,
who when he/she
asked direct questions
heavily trended to obfuscate
which penury now finds me to vacate
unaffordable costs living social on premises
of highland manor apartments.

Lemme titillate thee
regarding myself daily
soldiering thru breastworks
sidestepping veritable landmines irks
read out loud to experience
where dangerfield lurks
then twenty five years a husband
unknown marital perks
bachelorhood to die for,
cuz warp and weft

courtesy webbed and wedded bliss
incorporates life threatening quirks
analogous to demise Ottoman Turks
dissolution of said empire courtesy
by treaty and came to an end in 1922,
when the last Ottoman Sultan,
Mehmed VI, was deposed
and left the capital of Constantinople
(now Istanbul) in a British warship
courtesy Harris armaments works.

Hazardous beyond belief
trumpeted courtesy commander in chief
analogous crossing a landmine good grief
ensnared yours truly
mistaken for Baghdad thief.

Impossible mission to step up pace
when ambling one room to another
footfalls of generic guy approximating brisk,
cuz one misstep could find me flat on back
with damaged spinal disc
worse fate than experiencing
strong arms of law
reach out his hands that frisk
old meister wordsmith
merely ventures innocent risk,
yet may as well
surrender self to Taliban,
who would willingly whisk.

Garden variety Caucasian American bloke
afraid to tread amidst belongings strewn
pell mell outranking
rating tornado 5 courtesy
enhanced Fujita Scale,
whereat Good Housekeeping
demonized, insulted, and ostracized spouse.

As precautionary safeguard,
I carry treasured amulet
to ward off ill luck
toward life and limb you bet,
especially when gingerly
taking one step after another
modus operandi cachet
with lights turned off
owing steadfastness to prayerful debt
intoned toward guardian angel to get

self groping in dark without bifocals
envisioning severely myopic
(blind as a bat generic guy
without spectacles) met
bedded objective where,
menagerie of stuffed animals
(albeit Woodstock favorite pseudo pet),
which aforementioned Peanuts character
called warm fuzzy as sobriquet
wordsmith evinces, identifies,
outshines wit to whet.

The missus bursts out laughing,
whom I damnably scoff at and berate
as I trip head over heels
cursing said spouse ever since first date
at Tex-Mex restaurant
in North Wales, Pennsylvania,
a gut level intuitive sense -
even then our sealed fate
cursed analogously
crashing thru Hades gate
antagonistic altercations in actuality
displaced suppressed

anger toward parents,
which father and mother (both deceased)
their sole son of did hate
for afflicting psychological trauma
regarding them furiously irate
doling out ultimatums
interestingly enough comfort found
within company of loving mate,
she weaseled compassion
evidenced by poetic prattle I prate,
whereat ye can (of course) highly rate
feedback I eagerly await.

While rifling through outdated poems of mine
some written quite a number of years ago,
the following mewing effort, I decided to post
for all purring cyber surfers linkedin
to the webbed, wide world to read.

Prince Of A Cat - Ninth Life Long Since Spent

Preface to this brief bitty
written snap ting snapshot – word ditty
dates back before I reached gritty
age of eight and fifty, aye recall a kitty
named Boozie, but also known
(for no particular rhyme or reason) as Walter Mitty
rescued by my youngest sister, who took pity
and felt aghast,
at a potential cruel fate no intent Tabby witty.

Upon return home from an Antioch College coup
(so many diverse work experiences required -
some involving offal goop
i.e. case in point being this anecdote,
which may fall outside the loop
of common “hands on

off fish shawl” employment,
thee tasks on par with handling ****
stoically accepted by Shari Todd
(name of said sibling),
who when home from Davis, California

(albeit temporarily, and before she returned
to Yellow Springs, Ohio) divulged
how she did scoop
dread, dreck, dregs, et, cetera –

i.e. by product amidst fish farm
didst set her dead against being linkedin
purr animal cruelty, thus play role of troop
er – which tummy
earned her kudos a resounding whoop!
* * * * * * * * * * *
Before launching into this poem purr say
lemme mention how thine late mother
took an immediate affinity and hence no delay
that this lucky creature became akin to a bebe.

Main ****, Felis catus, nicknamed Boozie
raccoon features, face mask, brown thick costume
handsome boy, affectionate personality, expressively vocal

Pink wet nose, emerald eyes, pointed ears
cavernous mouth, sharp teeth, rough tongue
striped design, massive fluffy fur, bushy tail

Soft paws, padded cushions, retractable blades
wild animal, predation urge, survival instinct
agile movement, swift motion, unfortunate victim

Door prize, flies feast, whitened bones
loyalty strong, pageant display,
splayed across kitchen table courtly dignity

Quiet house, sonar sounded, Cheshire upward smile
purred softly, rubbed legs, warm vacant lap
Jumping agility, firmly sequestered

Contentment expressed, internal hum, reciprocal therapy
beautiful petsmart, little monkey, comfortably sleeps
peaceful slumber, wakeful stretch, ideal life
Fortunate intervention, cat whisker to demise,
brush avoided becoming piscine meal,
kingly privileged role, heartfelt love.

Consider the following
dogmatic, enigmatic, fantastic,
idiotic, jargonistic, kimetic, linguistic,  
narcissistic, opportunistic,
poetic, quixotic, rhapsodistic,
scholastic, transformistic,
universalistic agglomeration
as an abbreviation
overactive imagination
wrought demonic manifestation

unaware reading dictionary
could engender garrison housing
Century 21 ghostly conjuration
paranormal shenanigans this
Lake Wobegon resident
grudgingly attests perturbation
disembodied spirit betook
(analogous to Casper
the friendly ghost)
"FAKE" spooky introduction

primarily cause ethereal
phantom of the opera mine
diaphanous doppelganger actualization
forcing agonizing confrontation
blindly highlighting spectacular illumination
constituting undeniable declaration,
whereby stagnant existence
aligned stark juxtaposition
courtesy faux charade, escapade, facade...,
gimcrackery literary affectation

yielded (still does) negation
to befriend prospective logophile,
essentially begetting immediate amputation
as posited a posteriori said acquisition
regarding, kneading, experiencing...
inclusiveness feeling reviled discrimination
foisted linkedin with nonestablishmentarian
progressive, liberal, agnostic Unitarian
paradigm upbringing birth parents
decreed ideal articulation

to foster independent cogitation
among yours truly, and his two sisters,
at one time felt veneration
marble lustrous bead
felt towards (guess who) second born
only brother gifted with affliction
diagnosed recent as
schizoid personality disorder,
a mental health condition,
whereat emotional affinity

toward kin folk sundered
buzzfeeding self cannibalization
predicated on inchoate
in utero causation
insync with adaptation
(actually Putin on Ritz key conspiracy
incorporating Russian collusion)
in tandem with basket of deplorables
little rock and rolling
witnesses regeneration

frothy heady windblown
dyed in wool Taj Mahal size
pompadour toupee coronation
ego freezing troll defies decapitation
barley bubbling within hopscotching
mucky swamp characterization
capital hillbilly Phoenix
resembling archeopteryx alights
shrill screeching, digging lame talons
into trumpeting paunchy underbelly.