lest ye seek alms
with outfaced palms
just imagine
how the lantern shone  
against the knees of Archelaus,
and lit up the check-board pattern
of the eleemosynary trousers

Fatigued civilian attires reasonable rhyme
challenging readers to dare themselves
question yours truly what ranks as
unleashing trademark punishing crime.

Words worth more'n fine spun gold
courtesy those considering themselves literate,
perhaps recipients of countless laurels extolled,
nevertheless mediocre (ha) logophile
crafts poem(s) inducing scold.

Dire straits force me to abide
the law of self preservation
and espouse with permission granted
by Bedřich Smetana
to abscond with bartered bride
think infamous American robbery team
Bonnie and Clyde
responsible for a 21-month
crime spree from 1932 to 1934

as analogous nefarious
transgression in league with human
author of mine verse, thus thee decide
to befriend bipedal hominid,
who scours earthwide
(and if necessary extending search
beyond outer limits of twilight zone,
where dark shadows
slink along the edge of night)

for fine prairie home companions
ideally from Lake Woebegone,
or outliers with documentation falsified
turning to humble **** sapien
as their spiritual guide,
he will be game and willingly surrender
mine Yankee doodling dandy buttucks,
his posterior gluteus maximus hide
if he falls short of promise

to bring webbed wide world bliss
witnessed as emasculation
toward himself intensified
cuz truth be told
interpersonal connections
allow, enable, and provide
kinetic, opportunistic, rhapsodic,
and universalistic joyride.

All decked out like one base 2 ace
of spades, or king of hearts
traveling at lightspeed thru cyberspace
traveling as binary unit with amazing grace,
the zeros flickering like a moonface
hopscotching between nodes uptrace
sing journey across the Internet.

Many a favorite YouTube tutorial venue
represent virtual re: digital haunts I review
to bolster pulling myself up by bootstraps
such sites out of webbed wide world
include basic digital electronics,
computer networking fundamentals,
how transistors work, plus
miscellaneous other tidbits.

Born that way angry antithetical
mailer daemon when...
all of Christendom bows their collective
talking heads in supplication,
a temporary truce and reprieve
against bigotry, deviltry, idolatry (nah),  
et cetera across the nation.

Yuletide pageant merry doth go round
where credo, ethos, and
faith no more jinxes webbed, wide world,
nevertheless soul asylum limned courtesy
peace on earth and goodwill
toward all men sentiment
sacrilegious to bully,
fully sully mankind's divine holiness,
and present disgrace to human race
in the dolled guise of heretic

quasi analogous to a matador ramrod ready
to Catch Bull at Four in a China shop
gored when muleta waved -
courtesy matador incited Bos Taurus
both fuming, fretting, foaming, et cetera
even the spectators
frothing at the mouth with lather
while smartphones captured tableau
frozen in time photo touched up
stripping bare every ******

last vestige of cruelty
toward a gregarious animal
exclusively a domestic species
males genetic propensity
culled, goaded, likened as fearsome beast,
synonymous when anonymous nasty brute
fomented enormous disaster
monetarily eviscerated yours truly
an online scamming  assault,
the repercussions I still forced to wage

depredations living hand to mouth
quaffing caustic acidic ale,
a cunning prankster did stage
comparable to kindle figurative
ringed fire of rage
within my still smoldering belly –
coalescence fuels tinder
while financial security riven
and rent asunder
severely dislocating, hobbling,

paralyzing vertebrae constituting
gray and white matter, appearing
in a cross-section as H-shaped gray matter
surrounded by white matter,
whereat the gray matter consists
of the cell bodies of motor
and sensory neurons,
interneurons, and neuropils
(neuroglia cells and mostly
unmyelinated axons).

Born sixty one years ago,
the follow poem from your bro
transmitted courtesy flagship
named Jacques-Yves Cousteau
constituting countless ones and zeroes
instantaneously traversing cyberspace
as packeted, framed dataflow
binary digits bit of information
to acknowledge when
thee transitioned being an embryo

(approximately the second
to eighth week after fertilization)
approximately nine months prior,
whose birth marked debut
of bouncing daddy's little girl,
whose inquisitiveness nourished
birthed perception buzzfeeding
capital one earthlinked baby
fostering, kickstarting, and
orchestrating cognitive aptitude,

who throughout storied existence,
which kudos ye
proudly promulgate to and fro
hither and yon across
social media platforms
understandably, opportunistically, and
humbly letting family and friends
across the webbed wide world
know amazing accomplishments,
when ye did initially grow

from being precocious genetic pedigree
into a whip smart self confident
globe trotter, whose curriculum vitae
dwarfs (by powers of seven)
feeble accomplishments of mine,
went thee invested with a heigh-**
positive state of mind
every endeavor undertaken
(in one physically gruelling instance)
biking, hiking, riding

to your private Idaho
(fast as a B-52)
versus humdrum life of one common Joe,
whose heightened perception
aside from singing the praises
of admiration toward youngest sister
after countless years, he failed to know
about her trials and tribulations
exercising your potential to the maximum
invariably feeling dog tired

with a dose of lumbago
thrown in for good measure
nevertheless adept as bilingual person
quite helpful travelling
to Spanish speaking countries
during your roaring twenties off to Mexico,
and just recently taking a jaunt
to Portugal donned accruing
vibrant sense and sensibility
treasuring richly pocketing nouveau

memories attracting natural outgrow
of ardent followers, whether online
or in flesh, who clamor for selfie photo
with thee and steadfast husband
unlike henpecked wife of mine
enjoyable as pesky miss Quito
who pesters me to get off computer
so she can binge watch Netflix
hence adieu as I hop on my cubii
off to complete
another stationary roadshow.

obvious to any person who peruses one or more attempts of mine at crafting freestyle modus operandi to express idea, sentiment or thought experience courtesy me, an educated, intelligent, modest, quiet-natured, unpretentious, and yawping wordsmith, whose main ambition to write constitutes futile dogged endeavor to bring good things to light - figuratively.

Non averse to me
(chilling as an outsize ego freezer)
profusely perspiring
and heavily panting
experiencing one after another
stuff whet dreams are made
frolicking in autumn mist
envisioning breath
emanate out snout
Puff the Magic Dragon
(think Maxfield Parrish painting)
while skirt chasing
and playfully tackling,
a gamesome gamine with verve
mercilessly coquettish ingenue
"precociously seductive"
overgrown ****** wannabe.
Solitude and introvertedness
mebbe made more manifest destiny
courtesy severe nasal notable twang
(otherwise known as split uvula)
yours truly wittingly drew taunts
and unutterable pang
to escape being bullied as scapegoat
entering magical world
of mine imagination
fostered learning about
all creatures great and small
by age appropriate books.

Logophile lusts ever stronger after
twenty six letter combinations
(analogously surrendering to mistress)
that yield an estimated 171,146 words
count them yourself if you doubt me
currently in use in the English language;
according to the Oxford English Dictionary,
an additional 47,156 obsolete words exist.

I luxuriate engrossed
with choice reading material
and out of desperation
to slake insatiable thirst
(to discern syllabification)
yours truly doth read aloud
intently hearing cadence
of vowels and consonants.

Up until I entered six grade
(at Henry Kline elementary -
a one classroom per grade - school)
classmates bullied, derided,
and feigned to hammer -
jabbing leering, nasty
pimping ragout as a rule
which boyhood self of mine
availed a perfect bullseye target
with combination of diminutiveness,
being painfully quiet,
essentially remaining mum the entire day
except when called upon to answer question
thence utterance emanating between lips
produced and emitted
a strong nasal sound to boot
grist for the mill
sans malice meted, mimicked,
and mocked mashup
of mine warped congestion
ah, twas only by a fluke conversation,
whence a speech pathologist
informed my parents about
the Lancaster Cleft Palate clinic,
where oral an examination
revealed minor birth defect
identified as a submucous cleft palate,
"bifid uvula" - meaning the uvula
forked or split into two parts;
it's often considered the mildest form
of a cleft palate, which explained
the severe pinched twang
somewhat mitigated by wearing
a removable prosthetic
fashioned by Prosthodontist
Dr. Mohammad Mazaheri MSC, DDS
fastened with clasps to upper teeth
whereby a makeshift miniature
plastic protuberance closed the gap
so air would be prevented
passing thru my button nose
and thus gentle and soft as a shutterfly
shunted air out thee oral opening
though congenital defect disallowed
returning merchandise back to sender
nor could blame be affixed
at either father nor mother
who both harbored the genetic mutation
now such admissions
re: aforementioned impediment allows,
enables and provides boasting rights
if in a mood to temper
any curiosity or satisfying a rumor
whispered down the alley,
whence I said “ah”
left nagging nincompoops
as if pie hole filled with a gobstopper.

etymology encurtains, encompasses,
and encapsulates healthy fixation
why I can spend countless hours
engrossed with printed material
courtesy select magazines or books,
plus aiming to craft satisfactory
poems or prose as an avocation
to share with anonymous
well seasoned cyber surfers,
and perhaps - wishful thinking of mine
being celebrated, lauded,
touted, et cetera posthumously
as a storied author, one of the greats
of the twenty first century - ha.

As a recipient of social security disability
for scads of years -
maybe half live of mein kampf,
(courtesy a diagnosis
of schizoid personality disorder,
though Renee Cardone, a former
long time therapist linkedin with
SpringFord Counseling attested
that social anxiety,
a more accurate explanation)
regarding mental health affliction of yours truly
evident within eminent domain
of these lovely bones
since late mother brought forth
scrawny baby post parturition
January thirteenth mcmlix.

When sitting facing the external
modest size external screen
synchronized to reflect
what these fingers type on the MacBook Pro
(Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015) laptop
(like now - at approximately
nineteen hundred hours May eighteenth
two thousand and twenty four),
a profusion, infusion, and confusion
of ideas burst forth
once a title identified
for particular writing sample.

Dearth of travel experiences
severely limits potential
excellent material to access,
hence outlook grim actually nonexistent
to tell terrific tall true globe trotting tales
spanning across webbed wide world,
thus cerebral activity limited associated
with imagined people, places,
and things (some stranger than fiction - ha).

The milieu of the Internet a dogsend
to help expedite gestating, mutating,
and rotating brilliant ideas
within the mind of me,
a modest mild mannered male,
who cannot help but wince
with dismay how father time,
albeit surreptitiously unbidden sneaks
and steals away precious
days, weeks, months, et cetera,

whereby a formerly scared, nevertheless,
happy go lucky and charming little lad
particularly when ensconced
safely and soundly
within his boyhood bedroom
far away from the madding crowd
and the deafening sound of silence trumpeting,
signalling, rocketing mortal man at lightspeed
impossible mission to thwart how tempus fugit
doth captcha forsaken sweet dreams
swept away forever.

At long last, when head merges with pillow
deep sleep offers temporary escape into zee land,
and reprieve from unwanted mailer daemons
potent images actually manifested selves
of mine subconscious sphere
breathing, blinking, and begetting life
videre licet into transient transparent people
each rapid eye movement cycle
gifting illusory persona grata super powers
generated within a flash dancing icon.

until the cowed chickens come home to roost!

Sunlight streaming thru window
body electric of mine doth whet
begets hardiness to acclimate
against PECO shut off threat
ideal opportunity to spouse
analogous to her being my emotional pet
snuggling while standing in kitchenette
but accidental twerking
can guarantee yours truly
(me) being recipient of epithet.

I bundle up to stay warm
inside my cold man cave
particularly as average outside temperature
for November twentieth
two thousand and twenty three
hovers between high and low
fifty degrees fahrenheit
nearly brisk enough to see my breath.

I and/or the imaginary paramour
take our separate showers
during warmest hours of the day
less optimal to engage
in neighborly horseplay,
but more ideal for mistress (ha)
to pad around the unit donning her lingerie,
which nonverbally signals
(and greenlights)
more than voluminous words,
hence, I seal lips of mine

despite sudden aroused frisky urge
to burble exhibiting
debauched casanova behavior
accompanied courtesy illustrative
of suave debonair popinjay
rerouting spontaneous seduction today
indicative of throbbing
bulbous anatomical appurtenance,
which protrusion nullifies necessity of x-ray
to identify sudden
source of vasocongestion.

During daylight hours fresh air
arbitrarily, humorously, and noiselessly
streams and wafts
thru screened windows
ushering invisible scents
and audible sounds
of the webbed wide world here,
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
our neck of the woods
since seventeenth year
after second century Anno Domini.

Civilizations since time immemorial
revered fiery celestial ball
establishing their respective mythology
which scheme attempted to explain
divine thermonuclear processes
sustaining the nearest star,
which Sol Invictus did enthrall
housing an astronomical object
comprising a luminous spheroid of plasma
held together by self-gravity
within the heavenly vault
divine creator didst install
which supposed movement in the sky
signified daytime and nightfall
linkedin with planet earth
a veritable, observable, honorable,
and admirable terrestrial tetherball.

When alive colorful turns of phrases
uttered courtesy my father or mother
whose ability to describe a situation
perfectly verbalized and couched by
a dialect of High German including
some Hebrew and other words now
embolden me - a sexagenarian poet
to embark upon quest shunning aim
buzzfeeding insatiable avocation to
acquire fluency communicating the
tongue spoken by Ashkenazi Jews -
which Semitic peoples populated a
thick trunk line of mine, and crisis
of identity and existentialism rents
psyche, cuz I don't feel linkedin to
any warp and weft nationality akin
to feeling alienated analogous life
likened to being left adrift within
the outer limits of the twilight zone
where dark shadows slither slinky
like across field of view teasing me
to mimic sounds of silence after I
hear the echo of thirteenth century
Jews in Germany housed in ghetto
where over time countless refugees
forced to leave their country fleeing
to neighboring kingdom of Poland,
where they could practice religious
worship rites more freely unwitting
being hounded and persecuted run
clear out of adopted country after
absorbing German and Slavic raw
bits, a critical ingredient of powder
milk biscuits ordaining, fortifying,
and bolstering shy people with the
courage to stand up to moratorium
against sacred rites of passage viz
Jewish leaders rabbis, rebbes, or
hakhamim stemming from "rabbi"
from the Hebrew word rav, which
means "teacher" who facilitates
bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah when
a boy or girl respectively reaches
the age of thirteen regarded as ready
to observe religious precepts and
eligible to take part in public show
as able, eager, and willing, partaking
and fraternizing with congregation,
which ceremony includes traditional
rituals, speeches, and a celebration

foretaste fêting newly minted male
hinting of his marriage between 18
and 20 years of age, a sacred union
between Jewish man and a Jewish
woman documented by a contract
enshrining ten obligations toward
his wife (or her descendants) and
four rights in respect of her which
enumeration of moral imperatives
now follows suit accessed courtesy
Jewish virtual library - A project of
Aice, a learning revelation to yours
truly - me, whose lineage linkedin
with the credo, heritage, precepts
and tenets constituting one of the
world's oldest religions, dating
back over 3,500 years.

The obligations are (a) to provide her with sustenance or maintenance; (b) to supply her clothing and lodging; (c) to cohabit with her; (d) to provide the *ketubbah (i.e., the sum fixed for the wife by law); (e) to procure medical attention and care during her illness; (f) to ransom her if she be taken captive; (g) to provide suitable burial upon her death; (h) to provide for her support after his death and ensure her right to live in his house as long as she remains a widow; (i) to provide for the support of the daughters of the marriage from his estate after his death, until they become betrothed (see *Marriage) or reach the age of maturity; and (j) to provide that the sons of the marriage shall inherit their mother's ketubbah, in addition to their rightful portion of the estate of their father shared with his sons by other wives. The husband's rights are those entitling him: (a) to the benefit of his wife's handiwork; (b) to her chance gains or finds; (c) to the usufruct of her property; and (d) to inherit her estate.

as mini reunion number
XLV fast approaches
Saturday, April 30th, 7:00 pm
until 10:00 pm
at The Trappe Tavern, 416 West
Main Street, Trappe, PA 19426
regarding graduating alma mater
brought to forefront
of my awareness,
though yours truly,

one generic beetle browed
fool on the hill,
and paperback writer wannabe
will not attend
haint gonna rile nor roil
ghosts from yesterday,
when all my troubles
upon cusp of rock and rolling
existential helter skelter prevailed
across universe of mine.

Although heavily steeped with fiction
trace amounts of factual essence
underlies the following account.

I spent remaining years of mein kampf
in quasi penal solitude
under strict surveillance of
jail wardens Boyce and Harriet Harris
both parochial parents of mine
long since passed away.

While comfortably and numbly housed
at 324 Level Road,
(an offsite facility
linked with semi progressive
incarceration modus operandi)
since razed to make room
for vinyl city,
yours truly shunted
from one to another institution,
albeit of higher learning,
which did nothing to alleviate
(their) constant harping
about Marxist slapstick brotherhood
regarding "dictatorship
of the proletariat".

I lacked fortitude and courage
to whether blistering punishment
falling short, and giving little weight
carrying out commanding orders
approved by presidents
elected and inaugurated
since 1976 until 2000 respectively.

While imprisoned for
abandoning being filial son
shirking household responsibilities
such as domestic chores
and property management,
cuz the estate of "Glen Elm"
incorporated approximately
some half dozen acres,
yours truly displayed
passive aggressive objection,
which behavior of mine
considered non compliant
essentially dereliction of duty
found me sequestered
within spacious bedroom.

Aforementioned safe space
offered singular identity guard
against brutal assaults
that actually began upon
onset when I became
sixteen years young
and immediately expected
to acquire gainful employment.

No such ambition existed
absolute zero  degree
of self confidence existed
to secure a part time job
(mainly on weekends),
nor did this then
long haired pencil necked geek,
(whose grungy appearance
closely resembles his younger self)
who back in day made any attempt

to foster effective hygiene, study habits,
time management, et cetera
especially completing assignments
in a timely manner,
hence practically failing,
and getting promoted
courtesy skin of his teeth,
which original set of choppers
replaced by snug fitting dentures
crafted by well trained technicians
schooled at University of Pennsylvania.

Many a pitched (emotional) battle fought
and attaining eighteen revolutions
around the sun
ultimatums (to get sent off
to the Gulag Archipelago)
materialized as empty threats.

Corrections and legal guardian
merely by dint of biological reproduction
officer Boyce gave vent
to his (sic) infamous midnight lectures
circa ~ late 1970's until early 1990's.

I dreaded every malevolent utterance
when father requested he speak
not about some choice topic de jure
that brought a twinkle to my eye
but that all to familiar monologue
finding me standing like stone wall
hearing, tuning out with equally
predictable trademark demurely meek
pose with hands crossed against chest
of this then painfully easily intimidated lad

despite feeling effects of utter ennui
and fatigue attempted to stand tall
against the tsunami verbal typhoon
itching to drown out said battle creek
when asked capisce? comprende? farshtayst?
looked blankly at floor well nigh
or pretended to stare at something
extremely fascinating on the kitchen wall
for he may as well asked if I understand 
in an unfamiliar language such as greek

most likely getting successful results
yammering away at common house fly
possibly seething inside (p’raps
equally swatted) ready
to lash out into a brawl
held back by fear plus in comparison
to me pop – just a itty bitty pipsqueak
felt onrushing of overpowering desire
to collapse and cry
compounded by growing urge

to urinate from natural urethral call
spoke nada word, nor gave hint
of hearing from loathsome
blather that did reek
like decomposition of fetid of dead
living entity that began to putrefy
which offal to mine ears, tugged impetus
under warm blankets to crawl
for remaining time on Earth!

Needles to say (er... or write)
neither warring party successful
though the cruel monster
no doubt wanted to mash
his veritable flesh and bone,
thus in retrospect
subsequent silence
declared pyrrhic victory.

Basket of deplorable (me)
never befriended any classmate
nor partook of extracurricular activities,
hence he failed to become linkedin
with peers, and would most likely
revert into socially withdrawn state.

Utter brainless nincompoop
in this poem heretofore addressing
I wanna be forever free
and clear from mortal anguish,
and need more than a blessing -
I need a miracle worker after confessing
behavior causing depressing
wretched state of mind
self incriminating admission expressing
emptying out checking
and savings accounts.

Gross negligence fomented morass
of monetary hemorrhage,
thus yours truly speculating
imagining peaceful easy feeling
after quaffing hemlock beverage
(considerably less expensive
than trained masseuse
administering head to toe effleurage)
the former painless demise
popularized courtesy Socrates
whereby Athenian democracy
charged said philosopher

with impiety and corrupting
the youth of Athens
unlike him I feel mental,
physical, and spiritual states
devastated, jackknifed, and shattered
into a million little pieces,
hence appealing notion shucking off
western civilization equipage,
and concomitant linkedin
corporeal defrauded earthling
and author of these words.

The importance of money
or lack thereof smarts,
especially when series
of unfortunate events
even Lemony Snicket,
would be flabbergasted
at such blatant and flagrant stupidity
exhibited courtesy yours truly.

Herr dummkopf did not function
with one iota of his brain
case in point entire
financial cushion he did drain
anonymous, barbarous, egregious,
ferocious, iniquitous jerks
re: cyber crooks enriched their coffers
in previous poems I did explain
how yours truly got sucker punched
to surrender substantial capital
subsequently severe depression

washes over me like floodplain
after a major hurricane
thus another shout out,
though I feel quite insane
to drum up buffer (in) zone
excedrin also sought
to bring temporary relief
far fetched likelihood in dough main
despite moon shot
to witness philanthropic boost,
I keep praying Meg Found
will pull thru and ordain
(fiasco from fraudster frazzles father)
one ordinarily perspicacious primate
who financially doth strain.

Ideally yours truly prefers
a she/her who never got prosecuted for a felon,
yet who most deaf fin knit lee  
possesses sound blinding killer instincts
think miracle worker Anne Sullivan
signifying rendering phenomenal success
with one female named re: amazing Helen
exhibiting discerning admirable qualities
constituting intelligent witty male
despite his/him sports haunch size of a melon.

I gently beckon inspiration
for dalliance with mother tongue
English Language, each
singular lettered manifestation
familiar to yours truly symbolized
by panoply, sans twenty six letters,

whereby this patient wordsmith
luxuriates, when writer's block
yields sudden gush,
nee burst of creativity
dissolving impenetrable wall
mental log jammed impasse,

discourages literary ambitions
dashed exerted forcefulness
'pon cerebral terra incognita
counterproductive grip locks
figurative drawbridge begetting
utmost frustration allowing egress

and ingress constituting obstructed surge
temporarily disabling free and clear
transmission between ****** fount
barricading abundant bajillion ideas
silent at loggerheads clangor and din
analogous between unswerving enemies

prepared to fight till the death,
exhausting mental energy expended
attempting armistice with futile results,
hence quixotic oft repeated
time tested metaphor
i.e. deliberate pressure foisted

upon seat of aging cerebral matter
inadvertently coloring fist sized *****
at least fifty shades of gray,
versus unexpurgated brainstorming
linkedin with unfettered restraint
breeds favorable prodigious ideas

jotted/ typed stream of consciousness fashion
modus operandi favorable to engender
receptive access, asper (gas) excellent see
i.e. entrance untrammeled leeway
with minimal clash of opposing
titanic invisible entities
thus, aye abandon battering ram

to experience positive outcome
giving good n plenti profuse flood
unstoppable geyser spewing
plethora of appealing material
to arrange into cogent affinity,
energy, magnanimity and synchronicity!

******* hill re: by a bill yon votes
and bridged tradition (Abe Lee) linkedin
to present president; biden his time
trying to build back better
suspended crumbling infrastructure
hallmark of United States
transportation superhighways
tied railed planks
successfully spanned across country.

This revolutionary fella preceded by
Adams family patriarch giving rise
twin heir (plain lee gifted "Renaissance
Man") Jeff force'n without hemming
and hawing, (nevertheless sallying forth)
subsequently conceding nexus,
(nor horse drawn Lexus) of Colonial
power to Madison, thence Monroe
buttoned up as suitable candidate after
which younger Adams elected.

Thirty four followed Jackson's club
trumpeting (some Obama nib bully)
bushwhacking their way predicated
on faulty Algorithm, charming
charismatically with hint of Clint
like glint in eyes, blinding populace,
sans ray gun (Reagan), Car Tour ring
with peanut gallery in tow, affording
(unpopularly pardoning unfashionably),
a Jerry rigged nixed son, followed
by John's son tainted by stain of Vietnam,
but with said Southeast Asian debacle,
one Ken heady (sporting thick styled hair)
inherited an internecine conflict, essentially
precipitated, when Eisenhower hardened
political stance against any allies of the
Soviet Union, (sans The Viet Cong), and
pledged his firm support to Diem
and South Vietnam.

Now with preceding administration, one
harried true man unleashed advent of atomic
spectra upon Hiroshima, and Nagasaki, this
purported preemptive measure scary ruse
felt to thwart exaggerated Japanese government
threatened (military intelligence) scheming.

Despite the temperature being five below...
these fingered handy limbs
awash with profuse sweat
dripping palms analogous
to a ****** busted gushing water main.

Mein kampf analogous
to a self made prisoner
who cannot escape being terrorized
and tortured within invisible
hermetically sealed walls of air tight prison
regularly hunted down
courtesy malevolent daemons
blood curdling deathly silent screams
echo within the sound of silence.

Earlier today some jokester
(like a batman out of hell
came round boppin
like some robin
after their diet of worms)
riddling mine psyche
into a war torn zone analogous
into a veritable no man's land
heavily strewn with deadly explosives

detonating deafening explosive
rife with volatile anxiety,
I felt hunted and targeted
like a common criminal
forced to scuttle
meager barebones existence,
and gladly plunge into an abyss
unbeknownst to me
on par with Dante's inferno.

Hours after grueling life and death battle
keppie (in Yiddish a lighthearted
and endearing way
to refer to a head or forehead)
severely suffered bruises and lacerations
courtesy familiar enemy
(known to me donned
as trumpeting evil
doppelgänger barren of virtue)
relentlessly sadistically and tyrannizing
mutilating corporeal flesh
until flayed muscle and tendon
abandoned as ****** heap.

Visitation of cruel taskmaster
(omnipresent every waking
and sleeping moment of hellish
fiery brimstone existence)
repeatedly brutalized yours truly,
no matter I did plead for mercy
for spirit who usurped eminent domain
to please cease and desist
punishing life lessons
making a cameo appearance

after a reprieve of temporary truce
to drive me towards the maws of death,
yet stopping just shy of beating
the living daylights out
generic lovely bones genetically assigned
to one frazzled sexagenarian,
whose hellish existence
nearly brought to an untimely end
when victimized fellow
subjected to a maelstrom

of suicidal ideation
when a mere adolescent lad
and days, weeks, months...
years, decades, scores
of ragged orbitz round the sun
chock full of accursed torment
barely alleviated courtesy
nine prescription medications
authorized by credentialed nurse practitioner
predicated on symptoms of social anxiety,

dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorder
absolute zero relief
against wanton depredations
rendered ineffective today
the seventh of June
two thousand and twenty four,
hence a feeble intent to communicate
insufferable beast of burden
wracking one figurative rolling stone.

I managed to drive to and fro a short outing
dodging, hedging, lunging away
from slippery grasp of nemesis
attempting to pull
at sorry these excuse for legs
nevertheless seriously lacerating epidermis
only to realize, the horrific killer
left his tell tale signature
with ****** phalanges
dangling from wrists linkedin to my arms.

Any idea regarding who unnamed individual earned such lofty title? I offer a clue, that averred person unknown to many others within the webbed, wide world, and familiarity limited to smattered kith and kin. Lemme know if dead giveaway ala handy dandy blues clue prompted that "aha" realization.

Hero worship in the age of cynicism
baffles one disillusioned eccentric,
who prides himself (without prejudice),
bolstered courtesy his sense and sensibility
self actualized ex post facto
compliments of nasty
and brutally destructive
purblind (in retrospect,
raffish, selfish) endeavors
nearly devastating, harpooning

cocky eye looey fella,
lopping, et cetera
pledged troth July twenty fifth
nineteen hundred and ninety six
made when unbridled marital covenant accepted,
scuttled in favor of liberating libidinal longings
largely licensing licentious liaisons
simultaneously, permanently, and majorly
compromising, jeopardizing, violating
once especially cherished bonds

between father of two darling daughters,
(the eldest - a recent
University of Pennsylvania alumni
approaching her twenty eighth birthday
December 22nd, 2024 -
once upon a time hashtagged as daddy's girl)
cut himself down to size of raw bits
particularly indecorous flagrant callousness
emotional and financial niggardliness
he lavished with paltry

acquired scant monies
acquired courtesy family beneficence
(chump change received such as
for mine birthday and holiday gifts -
cashed treasury bonds before maturity)
spent acquisition or borrowed currency
on meager trappings for yours truly
where (barely able,
nay impossible mission) to meet costs
of living social on the MainLine

within Lower Merion School District
offered superlative public education -
to challenge first born GIEP student
and second offspring,
who exhibited developmental delay,
thus whose IEP pared down so she could
rally approbation in the form
of attagirl, kudos, stickers, et cetera)
slightly more manageable,
yet being chronically unemployed

(and unemployable – before qualifying
for government largesse)
until I met criteria
and bankrolled unearned income
to receive social security disability,
still sorely challenged person
writing these words
to meet paying rent and utilities,
and also linkedin
to significant mental health challenges

in tandem with faith no more,
and abandonment of attaining potential smarts
regarding accessing academic gifted aptitude
thwarted, stymied, hijacked to Cuba, et cetera
marked ambivalence toward self success
nearly failed every grade
even kindergarten - ha
and sustained behavioral pattern
earning me poor marks
when launching feeble

attempts to work,
and managed to witness being terminated,
thus accruing splendid curriculum vitae awash
with horrendous, and deleterious feedback
unflattering to say the least
and unfavorable to college/
university admissions officials,
plus being long haired
pencil neck geek
when doos more conservative),

a definite strike against
unseen positive impression
videre licet in the eyes of potential employer,
whereby poor performance
track record signaled a red flag
accumulating over time
to affect dark shadows qua nine inch nails
scratching across outsize blackboard,
foo fighting, beastie boys bullying
scaring the bejesus out of me unsure

outer limits of the twilight zone
inhabited, where the wild things live
hovering at the edge of night
subsequently spurring yours truly
to dejectedly slink along
the hallowed halls of higher learning
to savor the sounds of silence
being secreted and sequestered
within bedroom inside domicile
of my boyhood, adolescence,
and emerging adulthood.

October seventeenth
nineteen hundred sixty one
and October seventeenth
two thousand twenty four
represents, signals,
and traces sixty three orbitz
completed round the sun.
by one cherished,
(despite lapse of calling,
emailing, or texting),
nevertheless loved,
and prized Earthling
named Shari Todd Harris-Dunning.

More'n half (almost two thirds)
regarding aforementioned existence
of said sibling, whose life linkedin
with spousal enrichment dream academy,
while hunkered temporarily down -
until she and her significant other
embark on another globe trotting stint
livingsocial, in Bend, Oregon,
otherwise known as GADSHILL Farm,
hence the hyphenated married name.

Though said endearing youngest sister
approximately forty five plus months my junior,
ofttimes during earlier mein kampf,
she displayed quasi
maternal (motherly) mien.

Even back during mine boyhood
dark shadows stirred
along the edge of night
(emanating from outer limits
of the twilight zone),
which spooked me to flinch
as did appearance
of the boogeyman induce affright
only exacerbated my delicate mental health
which emotionally punctuated precariousness
within psyche of mine

with disequilibrium ******-social blight
above named sibling
a bonafide unflagging
prairie home fine companion
who made killer powder milk biscuits
even as kids (living in Lake Wobegone)
as children, she more so analogous
to being my Bobbsey Twin, I cite
twilled me in the valley
of love and delight,
with her divine guidance,

an emotional refuge rescued
sought deliverance from anguish
loving succor proffered
peace upon mine body, mind, and soul,
she did immediately expedite
warming cockles of me heart
analogous to affecting, creating,
forging, jumpstarting, offering, and ushering
ideal paradise island temperature
if measured by degrees
balmy fahrenheit 451 (ha)

pointing, revealing, shining,
and training a guiding-light
unafraid to defend diminutive
docile, inordinately meek brother,
when threatened courtesy bullies
that significantly towered over me
below average stature in height
a measly little skinny,
long haired pencil neck geek,
yet zany as Corbin
(very private joke) Bill Thurman's cat,

(when within comfort of home) lad
naively oblivious rebukes
delivered courtesy our mother,
when her second born daughter
a fiercely academic and dynamic student
ever since she set foot in the classroom,
or summoning forth indomitable courage
particularly when she got diagnosed
score of years ago being in the throes
of thalassemia anemia minor,
nevertheless honorably accepted

fallout from infrequent -
at most a small number
of memorable bouts of mischievousness
such as after smoldering marshmallows
damaging the brand new toaster oven
sparked, and kindled outburst
from mommy dearest
figurative tinder, which squabble
escalated in intensity
sparking vehement feud to ignite
loosing volatile verbal exchange

triggering (hyperbole on the way)
The Emergency Alert System
to issue warning
lest clear and present danger
(at 324 Level Road)
recorded in history books
licking flames, overshadowing, rivaling,
and undermining revolution
analogous to spelunker donning jacklight
before trumpeting unexpected goldmine.

An email written to eldest daughter
December 28th, 2019,
which unwittingly, magically, accidentally...
resurfaced while scrolling
thru outdated emails
and OpenOffice documents of mine
thee evening of February 20th, 2022.

The remaining lines
comprising reasonable poetic rhyme
sent to said offspring
more than two plus years ago
and dada feels grief no more, cuz time
heals all wounds.

Papa unexpectedly overtaken with woe
flashback shook me complex edifice
head, shoulder, knees in to toe
quietly processing silent film status quo
shant upended jollity
between when a little girl no
matter mine nonconformist
mien unconditionally accepted,

ye dear daughter(s) don't know
sudden onset of anguish **... **... **
holiday cavorting accentuated as
charade, facade, masquerade fueling ego
particularly Santa with the Misses,
and her sharp faux claws
keeping warm while
temperature five below.

No matter most every detail
I accurately gauge to attest
your life bustling
chock full o' zest
withheld, no doubt emotions
smolder within your chest

and kudos to thee lovely offspring
(both) packed bags
and headed out west
twas honorable duty, though now...
papa feels like
an unwanted guest
thee survived, albeit psyche bruised,

undergoing the electric
kool aid acid test
laughter when playing
Mancala, Uno, Sorry, et cetera,
how dada predictably did jest
when table turned,
I (spoiler Craigslist curb alert)

willingly, lovingly, and blithely
lost desire to win quest
to dispose cards, game
pieces, and/or glass beads
invariably other occasions
ye long since left (as thee must)
me and mother with an empty nest.

Nothing more doth
Matthew Scott ask or desire
then to delight and bask
as well educated hire
swimmingly how thee
learned to acquire

confidence and multitasking,
while I trod thru much
psychological muck mire
oft times (like now)
experiencing financial straits dire,

linkedin to when only youngster fire
within me belly to joie de vivre
peter out and prematurely expire
and yours truly reckons nothing
can change the past aghast being

deprived a marshmallow
at long ago time sharing campfire
with shortcomings scalding,
killing, crimping relationship,
courtesy lack of income
rendered paternal bond disastrously dire
doth now conclude another poetic wire.

Yesterday August tenth year
two thousand and twenty one,
I experienced blitzkrieg of explosive panic
shattering an ordinarily calm veneer
me (a doubting Thomas) resorting to queer
re the higher power to rescue me sanity,

inducing absent appetite
and subsequent loss of weight
(think irritable bowels),
which shell shock spurred tête-à-tête
with divine creator yours truly did state
salvation to post traumatic stress
courtesy raging conflagration
within webbed wide world inside me pate.

Both yours truly and the missus
suffered major panic attack
analogous experiencing great fall
whereby figuratively
our respective heads did crack
proxy war kickstarted incessantly bombarded
with blitzkrieg of emotional flak
bonafide doggone fusillade
without rhyme nor reason knick knack
rained down and thundered paddywhack
futile against railing training expert bombardier,
(no matter gunnery pro inside my head)
raining one after another blow,
I quickly lost track
impossible mission regarding wrack
con a sense, thus yak... yak... yak...

Continues poetaster describing his arc
of woe spiraling into endless anguish
and thinking worst case scenario did seize
thought processes, whereby
an unsuspecting individual found
and pocketed our treasured keys,
which would allow, enable and provide him/her
to steal aforementioned vehicle
and/or perhaps even access entrance
to apartment unit b44
threatening/killing both of us
referring to das scribe and his wife.

No such tragedy occurred
only rather humdrum end to saga
because wise
notion lodged itself
within sixty plus shades of gray matter (mine)
to rifle thru soiled clothes,
I hastily tossed into opened space
courtesy when bypass closet doors opened
and lo and behold sought after items beheld!

for enlightening my senses
to the evocative, reciprocative
and suffocative
auditory and visual material
publicized in The Nation
magazine January 2025 issue
on page 59 about Macklemore
(his given birth name
Benjamin Hammond Haggerty)
an American rapper
composed protest song titled Hind's Hall
viewed YouTube video by same name
English words flashed across screen
incorporating subtitles videre licet
the primary language
spoken and written in Palestine
id est Palestinian Arabic,
a dialect of Levantine Arabic,
which is a variety of Arabic.

Save and sound within American walls,
wherein foundation of democracy
fissures severely weaken structure
by dint of being **** sapien
automatically linkedin to every other human
particularly heart wrenching
constitute the innocent victims of violence
and felt compelled to share sentiment
to aforementioned musician
and other receptive eyes and ears
to the poignant lament
an anthem, and dirge
showcasing brutal against
indiscriminate ****, pillage, and ******
of innocent women, men, and children
including opposition forces killing
journalists who risk life and limb
to annotate unadulterated horrible tragedy
no matter I (an aging baby boomer
living social in a safe haven,
a geographical area
called Schwenksville Pennsylvania,
whereat yours truly
voluntarily viewed footage
of massacred mothers,
fathers, sons, daughters
sisters, brothers, et cetera
impossible mission to comprehend
wanton lamentable genocidal cruelty
abominable heart breaking slaughter.

The history of Civilization and Its Discontents
awash, where nasty, short and brutish fiends
displayed all manner
of fearsome, gruesome, and loathsome
beastie boy behavior
assailing and assaulting
defenceless hamlets housing **** sapiens
minding their p's and q's
perhaps whooping up a boisterous clamor
at a popular drinking hole
whereat In 17th century English pubs,
bartenders would keep track
of patrons' alcohol consumption
by marking "P" for pints and "Q" for quarts.

The phrase may have been a reminder
to patrons to be responsible with their drinking,
nevertheless upon becoming rowdy
formerly, ordinarily polite
quiet natured short and stout
subjects of the crown
quaffing amber liquids of the gods

hector teetotalers sipping
their nonalcoholic drinks
to prove to themselves
they can stave off temptation
and merely experience
being inebriate of air
such as yours truly
who unwittingly got stuck
during the middle ages
after time travel
contraption royally malfunctioned.

Interestingly enough yours truly (me)
felt more at home living
amidst the madding crowd,
where meager trappings of life
easily fit inside a rucksack,
and when need arose
to bed down for the night
one just found an available quiet corner
(unless occupied by Jack)
to get some shut eye.

to tickle your fancy dear reader rabbit,
perchance European G-man double agent
regarding the following poem
with kick a$$, je ne sais quois
ingenious, humorous bent
even though reasonable rhyme
mebbe worth no mo' than ten cent
doth quickly make descent
from ridiculous to sublime

and/or visa versa poetic event
trademark courtesy one
sexagenarian formerly fervent
nonestablishmentarian
long haired pencil necked
geeky, dorky, and nerdy
January born quirky,
Yankee doodling gent.

Anyway, as usual I blog alone
(today January 25th, 2022)
while this Poe whit carries a wish bone
but, tis just me and my future self as a crone
that amble along the boulevard,
while over head buzzes a sir valence drone
blares out an air/ear splitting command
courtesy shift shaping mega fone
which induces my quietude to groan
and find an escape to hone
salvation espied by mirage

sans a balmy *isotone
echoing refrains from Joan
E Mitchell, a great Danish dame
panhandling for ample *krone
so she not forced
to borrow money from a loan
where her former renown
a distant memory, she doth moan
as if attacked by a shark,
who resembles Jimmy Neutron
alias Matthew Scott Harris, who as soon

as he dubbed pipsqueak
that gave him greenlight
to trumpet as firebrand
nonestablishmentarian prone
to stake out a *quone,
while sheepishly at bay astride to the rite,
a beast of burden wearing
horn rimmed glasses tinted *roan
cuz the blinding light shone
into the outer limits
from azure vault -

a shadowy night rogues gallery
over a sinister tombstone
four after midnight emanating
on an eerie, freaky Friday
the thirteenth accompanied courtesy
frightful monster tone
scaring living daylights
out the skin of yours truly,
who found himself parent trap
accentuating, illuminating, undulating
the outer limits of twilight zone.
a$$ star risked words valid
first to last defined below
based on the merits of google:

1.an old woman thin and ugly
nevertheless all pretty things, she does oogle.
2. any of two or more species of atoms
or nuclei with same number of neutrons
3. basic monetary unit of Denmark and Norway,
equal to 100 øre.
4. watch "The Stakeout" episode
of television series "Seinfeld."
5. denoting an animal,
especially a horse or cow,
their coat of a main color
thickly interspersed with hairs
of another color,
typically bay, chestnut,
or black mixed with white.

I lament bidding Gaia's creatures adieu,
an inner conflict dust brew
within this scribe, who offers ye to chew
(like sweet treats metaphorically) thee do
tee incumbent, when Doomsday clock
counts down minutes few
according Al Gore rhythm
unstoppably ticking,
when life gets turned to global goo
tenderized viz Doctor Zeus
if not Horton Hears Hoo

then most definitely The Lorax
(couching urgent morals underscored
by satellite photographs
showing melting ice caps or igloo,
which planetary sos, sans in extremis
requires joint effort of Gentile and Jew,
plus every other sectarian credo,
dogma, ethos...knew
clear family, and whatnot
to become linkedin with Linda Loo

yes, we moost not forget
Old McDonald's with his moo
moo there bovine creatures
agedly hobbling along, or new
lee born, cuz juiced one day
per three hundred and sixty five
(six with leap year -
imagine dragons festooned leotard
with brand name Oroblu
or poor ole Winnie The Pooh

eternally stuck in Rabbit's
hole sum Hutch as a queue
doth loosely form dreaming up and rue
men ate about the old woman
who lived in a shoe
mien hating solution
(burning the midnight oil) true
lee trying to remedy plight
of said bear character,
hemmed in courtesy

**** sapiens population explosion
whereat their den only
allows, enables, and provides
cubby hole view
perhaps unstated message being woo
king in tandem solutions to resolve
wretched condition of world wide web
possible by bridging differences
between me and you, and you, and you...
essentially everyone
comprising the human zoo.

Though written three hundred
and sixty five days ago,
the following poetic commemoration
doth not warrant any modification.

Said prolific author born February 7, 1812,
whose living descendents
I would be thrilled to befriend,
hence if anonymous reader
by some genetic fluke
linkedin to said
prolific storied author
please kindly reciprocate.

greetings mutual friend,
hard times dash
great expectations in this bleak house,
whereby battle of life ensues
when Sunday chimes
from master humphrey’s clock
issue somber american notes
invoking overshadowing doom
from young gentlemen:
oliver twist, nicholas nickleby, barnaby rudge
martin chuzzlewit, david copperfield,

young cricket and on the hearth little dorrit
collaborated on pickwick papers
with dombey and son detailing
how I (a haunted man/
ghost’s bargain) alias mudfog
got self absorbed in his old curiosity shop
hunted down by boyhood days
(akin to an endless Christmas carol
frieze as child’s history),
now a thick dust covered holiday romance
memory portraying this signal-man

(according to george silverman’s explanation)
eerily similar to the mystery of edwin drood,
exiled after his trial for ******
birthing three ghost stories
inhabiting a haunted house
affecting the young couples lamplighter
an uncommercial traveler
evidenced by pictures from italy
prone to speeches, sketches
by boz and his lazy tour
an oft repeated tale of two
cities best read at dusk.

Woebegone and egg foo young on you
meaning me of course
sidestepping a crucial positive
electric kool aid battery acid test
prior to pledging troth,
and tying Gordian knot
to strangulation point,
never fending for myself,
nor being disaster about to happen.

I did house/pet sit when parents
went away on their time sharing vacation
minimally satisfyingly jump/
kick starting, placating, compensating
for dashed ***** state
offering smattering of taste
regarding all those unrealized
golden (gated) opportunities.

Case in point conducting,
honoring, liberating unstinting pyromaniac
kindling burning man within me  
continuously aggravating, enraging, and inflaming
Lower Providence fire department.

When roaring towering inferno
crept frightfully close to nearby houses,
yours truly banked on his guardian angel
rescuing me as smoldering tinder
spread like... what else wildfire.

The dolled guise firewoman incarnate
none other than Mary Poppins,
who still appeared rather gracefully slick
(especially during rainy weather)
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda
protagonist courtesy film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
ruler of the Quadling Country

South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
riding her reo speedwagon
at light speed in nick
of time (in case of flat tire)
she will travel on her
state of the art broomstick,
but unfortunately said
courteous wonder women
long since retired though the former

still residing in her dotage
at the Banks residence,
nevertheless in an emergency
either one or the other
willingly avail themselves
providing freelance capering
constituting steep consulting fee services
while comfortably holed up
in their respective bailiwick.

After extinguishing blaze,
she and her sidekick The Cat In The Hat,
who just showed up out of thee blue (flame)
briefly secretly conferred
before delivering merriment
to drudgery of housekeeping chores
training, loosing, and applying
their joint secret powers
both as domestic facilities managers.

They gingerly launched, pitched,
tackled traditional domestic disaster,
with collective snap, crackle, and pop
of handy dandy magic fingers
before disappearing themselves.

A sudden whoosh rectified
messy living quarters
overflowing with countless generations
well fed healthy energized dust bunnies
automatically relegated and swept into dustbin
suppressing urge to boastfully brag
to nobody in particular.

Whistling while I worked
yours truly simultaneously  
cooked gourmet cuisine
excelling serving culinary house
special of the day,
qua charcoal brisket ala burnt offerings,
potchkying, scalding yours truly
courtesy untimely uncovering
pressure cooker, or weathering
comedy of errors
flipping upside down

all's well that ends well,
or experiencing severe
irreparable psychological trauma,
vis a vis creating hell's kitchen
house of horrors, mortal mishaps,
world wide webbed
series of unfortunate events,
or shenanigans deemed rite of passage
including indulging sybaritic life
linkedin with living single
fancy free and footloose,

thus imperative for this bard
to compensate aforementioned loss
postulating poetically
prevaricating potschking
as chef boyardee
envisioning, speculating, ruing
laundering with excess detergent
feigning enjoying drowning,
actually playfully wallowing
within sea of bubblicious sudsiness,
Spongebob Squarepants would die for
(unless he happens tubby in Darfur,

no particular rhyme nor reason),
while there purchasing
for this unassuming
devil who wears prada
mine surprise constituting
red badge of courage
surviving helter skelter welter
trials and tribulations
knowing I got true grit
accruing commensurate
valuable salient self survival skills
unexpectedly apprenticed with a book deal.

After papa succumbed
to congestive heart failure
October 7th, 2020 yours truly
neglected fulfilling promised score.

I did shirk maintaining bond
with youngest sister
who when a boy especially fond
regarding said sibling
whereat myself and and Shari Todd
played cat and mouse
chasing each other to pond
necessitating both of us to traverse
wooded thicket simultaneously
waving our magic wand.

Boyhood of mine chock full of memories
framing me and most favorite playmate
requiring keen eye to distinguish
one scrawny little lad no one would debate
impossible mission to discern
thirty three month age difference,
cuz we appeared to naked eye
as identical twins.

Flickering images of yesteryear
pepper memory faculty where
froze frieze in time
trigger an errant tear
trickling down cheek,
when impish gonif nsync
with me comprised pair
of inseparable Harris offspring
in sum re: portrayed analogy
likened to everyday idyllically kleer
pitch perfect courtesy
weatherman/woman maker engineer.

Our late father though cremated
would if alive furrow ashen brow
aware how Matthew Scott remiss
and no longer doth bother
(essentially incommunicado between
himself and kid sister
ever since she left home
at age seventeen)
for greener pastures,
which meadow (for success -
defined as transcending
her inherent limitations)
sowed the seeds
of her life reaped with utmost
plentitude of hardihood.

Her sixty first birthday
arrives six days from today
(October eleventh two thousand
and twenty two) - decades spanned
with nary acknowledgement
expressed courtesy sole brother manned
existence floundering like a fish
in treacherous waters
barely gasping breath
as he felt afflicted with chronic anxiety
emotionally whipsawed hither and yon
to and fro across
unwritten pages of his life.

Yours truly attests feeling aghast
once upon a time resorting
to self starvation initially omitting breakfast
subsequently forgoing every meal
prepubescence witnessed absent enthusiast
for livingsocial hence,
my death I chose to forecast
fortunately no coroner
called to perform autopsy inquest
about which severe
psychological suicidal ambition I jest.

While rifling through outdated poems of mine
some written quite a number of years ago,
the following mewing effort, I decided to post
for all purring cyber surfers linkedin
to the webbed, wide world to read.

Prince Of A Cat - Ninth Life Long Since Spent

Preface to this brief bitty
written snap ting snapshot – word ditty
dates back before I reached gritty
age of eight and fifty, aye recall a kitty
named Boozie, but also known
(for no particular rhyme or reason) as Walter Mitty
rescued by my youngest sister, who took pity
and felt aghast,
at a potential cruel fate no intent Tabby witty.

Upon return home from an Antioch College coup
(so many diverse work experiences required -
some involving offal goop
i.e. case in point being this anecdote,
which may fall outside the loop
of common “hands on

off fish shawl” employment,
thee tasks on par with handling ****
stoically accepted by Shari Todd
(name of said sibling),
who when home from Davis, California

(albeit temporarily, and before she returned
to Yellow Springs, Ohio) divulged
how she did scoop
dread, dreck, dregs, et, cetera –

i.e. by product amidst fish farm
didst set her dead against being linkedin
purr animal cruelty, thus play role of troop
er – which tummy
earned her kudos a resounding whoop!
* * * * * * * * * * *
Before launching into this poem purr say
lemme mention how thine late mother
took an immediate affinity and hence no delay
that this lucky creature became akin to a bebe.

Main ****, Felis catus, nicknamed Boozie
raccoon features, face mask, brown thick costume
handsome boy, affectionate personality, expressively vocal

Pink wet nose, emerald eyes, pointed ears
cavernous mouth, sharp teeth, rough tongue
striped design, massive fluffy fur, bushy tail

Soft paws, padded cushions, retractable blades
wild animal, predation urge, survival instinct
agile movement, swift motion, unfortunate victim

Door prize, flies feast, whitened bones
loyalty strong, pageant display,
splayed across kitchen table courtly dignity

Quiet house, sonar sounded, Cheshire upward smile
purred softly, rubbed legs, warm vacant lap
Jumping agility, firmly sequestered

Contentment expressed, internal hum, reciprocal therapy
beautiful petsmart, little monkey, comfortably sleeps
peaceful slumber, wakeful stretch, ideal life
Fortunate intervention, cat whisker to demise,
brush avoided becoming piscine meal,
kingly privileged role, heartfelt love.

twenty three years ago
today February 4th, 2022
begat about nine months prior,
approximately late April/early May 1998,
she exited thru fully dilated ******
10 centimeters or just under 4 inches
immediately cherished as a precious gift
her radiant pink flesh did healthily glow
despite developmental delay
observed during babyhood stage,

blessed timely intervention
hallelujah to countless social services
helped bring her up to speed
and in accordance with average statistics
pertaining to population of girls
at various ages of her life
most vital metrics indicated she did grow,
and matured into an attractive young lady
now mindful (courtesy common sense
and valuable life lessons)

said offspring quite aware the necessity
to comply with status quo
unlike this nonestablishmentarian papa,
who frittered away priceless time show
wing measly abysmal track records
regarding academic and employment, though
not necessarily criminal, I barely lived
analogously solely placing big toe
within streaming rush of opportunities
upon reflection, I experience woe.

Thank you immeasurably youngest daughter
valuable Shayna Punim
beloved gifted progeny bold
coaching, daring, encouraging... herself
whether the weather hot or cold
to take positive growth risks
you count as more precious
than fine spun gold
enhancing mein kampf,
whose absence warrants
birth mama or papa to hold
our darling offspring,

when she clamors for attention,
yet prohibitive physical distance
renders impossible mission
to proffer sought after nurturing,
hence the best attempt to lyft
your spirits (if sagging)
finds me driving in one direction
across information superhighway insync with
electronic uber global positioning satellite
merely wishing ye happy birthday
now intent to email thee told.

YOU GO GIRL!

I wanted someone to hear me shout for help
as recently recalled
when yours truly a little barking whelp.

After conversing with Amélie Beth
(yesterday February 26th, 2021)
yes, the same sibling diagnosed
with nodule on her right lung
chatted with said family member.

Her brother (yours truly), could not sleep
last night/early this morning
what would ewe expect
this rambunctious poet do... count sheep?

Okay... wool ye go ahead and lambaste me!?

Ordinarily counting backwards from one hundred
helps trigger rem memorable cycles
(never if ever rarely reaching zero -
cipher, nought, the big goose egg...)
usually does the magic, (albeit cheap trick)
constituting one garden variety supertramp,
who within blink of eyelash nods off to dreamland
succumbing and submerging into subconscious.

More so the latter half
(regarding unsainted) days
of mein kampf
lived more satisfactorily
meaning emotions shared
between yours truly
and family members.

Suddenly important for me
(at approximately 743.999 months
athwart planet Earth)
to finagle acknowledgement
constituting care and concern
regarding welfare of loved ones.

Rather, a necessity to unleash
pent up sentiments activating
"**** the torpedoes,
full speed ahead!"

An injustice to myself
and deprivation to recipient, i.e. Amélie
(who accidentally, inadvertently,
and unwittingly triggered feelings
of grievousness, ire, joy... )
to act adamant and withhold
for whom the bell tolled
valuable unpleasant turmoil
or heavenly bliss within
mine psychological state
most therapists and/

or self actualized individual
would concur if polled
wisest, loveliest and healthiest
personal choice to share
lest internalized heart wrenching dilemma
compromise palpable mutual
(of Omaha) kith thing catharsis
freeing restrained pent up angst
kinship therapeutic as “Wild Kingdom,”

whereby respective psyche
constituting uber brotherly spirit
doth lyft among soundcloud
shutterflying amidst
imagined lilies of field
engendering region knolled
king dome united, extolled
and linkedin courtesy nirvana.

Despite being an amateur
paperback writer wannabe,
whose storied protagonist
stars colporteur wannabe
(thinly veiled cover as yours truly),
whereby his antagonistic doppelgänger
donned as a frotteur trumpeting
animalistic, chauvinistic, egoistic,
averse to gradualistic, individualistic...
narcissistic, opportunistic hauteur
with a penchant for littérateur,
whose favorite genres
constitute the blending
(think Louis Pasteur)
of one criminally and mysteriously
hellbent expert pathologist,
whose found role of self chosen prosateur
loosing overactive imagination to guide
and to craft believable scenarios,
whereby provocateur earned himself
title of master raconteur
this side of Schwenksville,
actually a double agent
gussied up as rapporteur,
whose burning side kick
(splitting hairs over being primary
most intrepid gumshoe),
dolled up as a répétiteur
and co-owner as restaurateur
catering to Norwegian bachelor farmers
freshly baked Powder Milk Biscuits,
(cuz heavens they're tasty and expeditious
made from whole wheat that give shy persons
the strength to get up and do
what needs to be done
your family must try them),
and also serving the chattering class,
yet always being affronted
courtesy basket of deplorables,
the whole bunch of rapscallions
nothing but nattering nabobs of negativism
buzzfeeding, growing, and jump/kick starting
wild asparagus and overgrown kudzu
in serious need for secateur
to be placed in the hands
of well muscled olympian shamateur
adroit to handle tools
of the horticultural trade
with both his arms and legs.

I ask myself the following rhetorical question.
How does that hot germ oven idea coalesce
from figment of imagination
to fully fleshed out magnum opus?

Lucky those prospective and potential authors,
who start writing at a young precocious age,
perhaps when in utero,
hearing mellifluous cadences
of punctuated words
courtesy family and friends
(constituting a veritably healthy melting ***
of diverse creed (dancers
fluid in movement as clear water
in attendance at a revival)
ethnicities, genders nationalities,
political stripes with the caveat
(so long as each person
considers him/herself a Democrat)
races, religions, et cetera
comfortably ensconced
and seated within or upon
a cozy environment
of lazy boy chairs, and bean bag pillows,
thus auditorily exposed to countless languages
spoken with various and sundry
naturally uttered modulations and amplifications
particularly homeschooled with access
to online material and tutorials
writing their first of many
New York Times best sellers,
when just a lad or lass.

Bennett Cerf, Theodore Geisel
(otherwise known to children as Doctor Seuss)
Roald Dahl, Shel Silverstein,
represent a small number of popular kids writers
during growing up years of mine,
which came to mind courtesy Google search
videre licet list names of children's authors
during the 1960's and 1970's,
when Beatlemania in full swing,
though yours truly
totally oblivious to the fab four,
who burst upon the scene
skyrocketing to fame and fortune.

Ineffable and mindblowing
how ingenious an attention grabbing
an innocuous sounding title
(many times an obscure author
whose book(s) purchased
at Worthwhile Thrift Store
in Collegeville for pennies on the dollar
(more so when color coded tabs
confer discount on certain days,
plus getting that senior discount
knocks the total price even further),
yet within minutes attention of mine riveted,
where I must continue reading
until sleep overtakes me,
or less likely death do me part.

Bully me, yours truly
never ordained, gifted, or blessed
with mien mean characteristic
evoking, jump/kickstarting,
representing, nor zapping
friend or foe courtesy fiery intimidation
if anything aura, charisma, dogma, and karma
emanating, issuing, and oozing out
body electric of one heretofore bookish fellow
immediately facilitates characterization
hashtagged lucubration and manifestation of quietude.

Though true agitation transparent to passersby
soul asylum of sexagenarian beleaguered
with invisible mailer daemons
that hound the psyche
of this doggone muttering bonafide wordsmith.

In argot of polymath author of these words,
(the modestly noteworthy
opportunistic, poetic Matthew Scott Harris)
essentially he describes himself
as a generic simple Simon,
who never met a pieman
his mellow outward demeanor
belies, harbors, and represses
a quaking, raging bull, and seething
tempestuous storm beneath the calm,
which faux placidity
shields a woke monster
(donned in Harris tweed and Scottish tartan)
mashing everything in his wake
courtesy huge feet
resembling puff daddy bear paws.

Though found out later in life
than most muggles
aforementioned humble
human like bipedal hominid
discovered extraordinary ability
to morph from dimwitted dork dweeb
into grim faced, frightful,
albeit gentle unassuming
pygmy up by the petard giant extraordinaire,
which latent superpower
never served him in good stead
to ward off cruel classmates and peers
tormenting teasing taxing
terrorizing treatment til tears
trickled down my cheeks.

Every now and again,
when some nasty brutish beastly lout
dares to utter colorful invectives,
a gradual transformation
slowly but surely occurs
within every baited cell
(automatically summoned, triggered,
and unveiled courtesy a bitterly
deadly force to be reckoned with
deep within these lovely bones)  
witnessing sudden bravado and daring do
additionally helped along after I discretely
chomp on powder milk biscuits
(the secret recipe only known
to forbidding Norwegian bachelor farmers)
giving an unexpected
judicious Hawaiian punch
to the loathsome miscreant
(never knowing what hit him)
knocking said **** out in cold blood.

A week shy of eighteen months
constitutes the difference in age gap
between yours truly
(me - no longer that lithe lad,
with washboard stomach and narrow waist,
and the Herrin, a once slender sylph
at then one hundred and five pounds -
ideal for her towering
four foot eleven inch frame)
born July 6th, 1960
within the environs
of Philadelphia,* Pennsylvania
*derived from the Ancient
Greek terms φίλος phílos (beloved, dear)
and ἀδελφός adelphós (brother, brotherly).

Our initial encounter (of the third kind)
took place circa nineteen ninety four
on a warm summer evening
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street, Philadelphia, PA 19119
and about two years later
both of us fêted as groom and bride
by fellow contra dancers.

Gamophobia (a fear of commitment
or fear of flying into marriage)
scared the bejesus out of yours truly
upon being asked point blank,
countless times soon after we dated,
and soon shared the same sleeping space,
(no matter we both lived with our parents),
which salient question
impossible mission to answer
"I do" after being asked

about pledging my troth - no fallacy -
promising such lifetime allegiance
subsequently pricked psyche
with heady undo anguished suffering,
yet verily barely hindered me,
to spear my stiff little minuteman
into miniature portcullis,
and hence expressed nonverbal predilection
to be fruitful and multiply
courtesy seething hormonal secretions,

she tacitly assented also
to experience concupiscence
and taste figurative verboten fruit
for consensual ****** intimacy
initially found me coquettishly flirting
daring to let fingers do the walking
across erogenous zones
easily gravitating toward physical intimacy
cavalierly riding *******,
throwing caution to the wind

hence no surprise
when the then girlfriend
******* pregnant news
about a bun in the oven
and intimated she objected
to birthing an offspring out of wedlock,
thus we concurred to pledge our troth
courtesy Judge Henry J. Schireson
of Narberth, Pennsylvania.

Upon our (yours truly and his missus)
exchanging holy matrimony vows
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety four
(another poem for that occasion)
ultrasound allowed, enabled
and provided obstetrician to zoom,
image courtesy sonogram
showing fledgling fetus,
thus we pledged our troth

after spouses' womb
(approximately halfway
between her pregnancy) did balloon
******, wherein conception
delineated birth of eldest daughter
five months later, and many a tomb
morrow later she then
when these words first drafted
resided in Oakland, California.

I attempted reasonable rhyme about...
oh happy yesteryear
when newly minted groom (me) wed bride
family in attendance cried
as Justice of Peace officiated as legal guide
extolling pregnancy of she who could not hide
welcomed into the pudding club,
which matured inside
after two gametes fused and multiplied
countless times after nine months
quickly birthing embryo
baby on the way nullified
application of premarital ***,
and attendant use of contraceptives.

Clear out of the blue
thee wife asked me
opinion if wedded bliss between us,
cuz I never profusely expressed affection
no matter head over heels
puppy love found found the missus
analogous to dizzy dame gone cuckoo
until completion of third trimester –
28 to 40 weeks signalled parturition due
ha, how heretical to think

swearing off copulation altogether,
and decry repeating the experience of childbirth,
nevertheless spouse warmed up
to begetting a second progeny
upon beholding beautiful bundle of joy
receptivity to estrus did ensue
since romance long since flew
out the figurative window
impossible mission to feign significant other
analogous to brand new
alluring, beguiling, captivating... tchotchke.

All kibitizing aside, a requited love with zeal,
I attest invisible spokes supported unseen wheel
when turning sparking genuine care and concern
delivering selflessness with role of motherhood
acted as buffer against emotional hemorrhage
and received good housekeeping approval seal
more applicable to most recent
elapsed wedding day anniversaries
ex post facto after both daughters flew the coop
finding me reeling with empty nest syndrome,
whenever yours truly reviews mental newsreel,
now absence of offspring, akin
to psychological wound I did heal
no longer mourning natural course
of begetting progeny more readily
accepting their necessary autonomy doth appeal.

Though marriage in our golden years finds us celibate
devoid of that indomitable physical intimacy
with once fecund wife
both she and I get along swimmingly,
we exhibit less strife
than days of yore effulgence promulgated
to all readers unbeknownst to human life
form characterized by bloke,
whose words appeared across screen
exemplifying, embodying, and edifying
regarding beloved simian counterpart
bandying playfully sometimes
drubbing and drumming my body
while she deliberates
fluted helmeted jiggly Johnson
emulating sounds of skin tight fife.

He seeks (in tandem with the missus)
legal asylum in Canada...
New Brunswick, Newfoundland,
Nova Scotia, et cetera,
or any other socially
progressive European country,
and seriously ponders said scheme
to exit (stage door left) living social
within these United States,
when four score
plus days and seven minutes
from today November 19, 2024...

signals implementation of Project 2025:
Anyway said fantastical idea
to escape a worse fate
than the wrath of Kong
and dismemberment of vital
social security disability services I receive,
Medicare, and electronic benefit transfer  
videlicet an electronic system
that allows state welfare departments
to issue benefits
via a magnetically encoded payment card
used in the United States.

No matter above iterated illusory pipe dream
essentially offers absolute zero probability    
absent slim or fat chance
would find yours truly to plotz
if whimsical far fetched notion
constituting the stuff whet dreams are made -
namely how to expedite
spontaneous modus operandi to emigrate,
which initially materialized
(1003 days, 9 hours, and
32 minutes before 2024 election),
many months actually

more than a couple years before Trump
in league with Elon Musk took victory lap,
especially days before 2024 presidential election
swindled electorate by hook or crook,
one severely anxious American senior citizen,
now steels, girds, braces... himself,
while streaming media services
bridging, fording, navigating...
potential violent political malevolent maelstrom
in the offing since... Revolutionary War
finds nonestablishmentarian comfortably numb
currently sequestered within apartment unit b44.

Maybe good samaritan
would sponsor me
(affable wordsmith afflicted with anxiety)
and the loving wife,
I can imagine emigrating to the
second largest country in the world
on par with dying and being reborn
into idyllic and Edenic afterlife.

Lifelong Pennsylvania opportunistic resident
desirous to move away from capitalistic bust
mein kampf, a miserable existence
peppered, pockmarked, punctuated...
with adversity - subtracting instances
being exponentially nonplussed,
(which lifelong mental health
analogous to psychological rust)
leaves mine lovely bones
in (melancholy) dog I trust
eventually repurposed into ash

(since I will choose cremation)
an increasing eco-friendly choice,
cuz burial with casket and tombstone clash
with holistic humble paradigm,
but before transitioning into lifeless body,
an impetuous notion arises, a flash
in the pan far fetched whim
to craft reasonable rhyme
communicating intent to live abroad
amidst one of ten provinces

and three territories
constituting Canadian federation,
which genuine motive not emblematic
of huckster nor fraud,
nevertheless one run of the mill
garden variety **** sapien flawed
yet he aims to dwell with citizens who applaud
voluntary simplicity likened and linkedin
belonging and hallmark characteristics
kickstarted intentional community,

where self sufficiency touted,
and physical labor de rigueur,
which lifestyle change
would rank as welcome adjustment
versus housed within Highland Manor
a quite reasonable single bedroom facility
yet devoid of stimulation
enervating body, mind spirit triage
of one ordinary human
who finds himself a mystery

within terrestrial firmament
and frequently feels in a feverish pitch
as tempus fugit whips
him around the sun
at a furious dizzying speed,
while he tenuously grips
with blistered hands
gripping sharp outcropping,
meanwhile his spindle shank legs splayed
and sprawled haphazardly across
the bombed out war zone.

Rather than get further
bogged down with inane zeal
I best steer clear
of further poetic poppycock
courtesy imaginary wheel,
thus the following pablum I unveil
nsync with titled malady all to real,
which plight involves hyperhidrosis
quite a debilitating ordeal,

especially when thinking
to pursue gainful employment
emphatically steadfast
and honest think (me,
a foo fighting beastie boy) leal
course this humble poetic communiqué  
communicates (hyperbolically) embodiment
ideal if seeking to gain insight how I feel
about myself, a tense body
inept to perform handspring or cartwheel.

(a stout rendition of O Captain! My Captain!
Perfect rhythmic rhyme with tonic
when the doth ale).

Mine eyes espy the glory per the ending
of another work day beckon Baileys Irish Creme
with Absolut certainty that Fireball named Brandy
the Patron Crown Royal abets dream
quest proof positive to expunge stressful Boss
distilling this cooked Grey Goose a gleam
with nary a clue how my ceaseless toiling efforts
play within the lager corporation scheme
assigning exemplary skills and talents within
what appears to be a ******* up losing team.

No exit out this grueling
twenty first century rat trap
when The Chips Are Down,
whereby Scotch chief en gin that air
except to drawn displeasure
and wallow in sorrows
downing ***** or house brand beer
despite  drunken state
erodes axons and synapses
snap like chattering teeth of broken gear
quickly cause tenuous grasp on queasy reality,
sanity, and tenacity rent asunder and tear.

Now that work day done
at long last, not a moment
to tally date with Jack Daniels to delay
this linkedin the conga line wants to wash away
sounds of barked orders *** bling – may
king me insides writhing
with anger as if type cast
in diabolical formidable, horrible play
whereby each active scene increases assistance
for Johnny Walker to glide and sashay.

Argh, how those last remaining minutes to escape
hubbub tick away at the pace of a snail
to these myopic eyes, which suspect manager
surreptitiously turns back clock hands male
lush hiss lee deliberately toys with sanity, thus
seek counsel from Jimmy Beam without fail
when super tramping head honcho will cease
cheap trick renouncing cruel act with ale.

Without schmaltz, Hops, skips and jumps
inebriation welcomes me by rendering taps
receding thoughts of being bound, cramped,  
and emulsified in dark cubicle Schnapps
as if invisible taut cord tears into virtual tatters
and this life of Wry lee loosed like *****
from shredded material trailing a tail that
rivals tales of Aesop's.

That  ambler liquid of the gods soothes palate
and tongue helps a  comfortably numb
feeling to settles within thine body electric
dulling the senses with heavy eyelids plum
met to close shut tight riding the wave of ecstasy,
reflecting about dad and late mum
though come the morrow, a hangover with
sensation akin to Gunter Grass
loud internal tin drum.

Upon rising sober with total amnesia sans
pandering as a buffoon
realizing fallacious gimcrackery while ensconced
in fermented cocoon
an email fried off from the top dog quickly
reminded yours truly how I did goon
off the rails, perhaps cuz of living within
a trackless caboose
August sized wife named June
adept at belting out
and playing Claire de lune.