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Analogous to unique ventifact for shore
and seven years ago,
where time and tide faintly roar
within noggin o'this common Joe
reviewing silent film unreleased,

unpopular, unimpressive tour
de force if technology existed
to broadcast and show
projected on big screen only
to elicit chore

tills whereby rotten tomatoes
lobbed accompanied by dough
less bro (i.e. an alter ego equally ****
rubble at lifelong accomplishments), though
woke to awareness, whence

twilight years sped more
bajillion times faster than greased
lightning, when final adieu
will tide dully be high water mark
luke king point blank at poor

etch heave mints mostly
abysmally, equally,
pathetically barely drew
stick figures upon tabula rasa
mostly feeble scratches galore

looking at you
unknown reader, now
doddering, hobbling, loafing... ignore
rant of untold opportunities
(long fostered barnacle clad) view

wing gamut of healthy risk taking
avoidance in name of war
re: ness against challenging,
testing, upending... true
and tried loathsome

overstayed welcome, a deplore
hubble basket case squirreled
within bedroom, who
suffered rabid exhortations, objections,
ultimatums... told to shovel ordure

lack of gainful employment
beset courtesy a slew
of psychological mailer daemons
case closed by parental cloture
countless decades ague

reduced present fulfillment score
indelible bitterness toward
self confident self I never knew
afraid of doppelganger to
central processing unit silly con wayfair core.
A poet (quite familiar with yours truly)
sat at his computer
trying his darnedest to craft a rhyme
imagining when both parents
of mine lived during their prime,
when me creative father acted out mime
though an amateur
his visible talent throwback
when Vaudevillian actors/actresses
(during silent film era),
whereby the spectators
(filling up an entire auditorium)
could hear kerplunk of a dime
versus the bajillion dollar contracts
showcasing stories about
punishment and crime.

Comeuppance eventually served
as just desserts
for those who
cunningly, knowingly, willingly...
commit a knowing wrong
criminal minded on the loose
hustling thru throng
courtesy butterfly effect
rifling back thru time
amid dynastic rule
during reign re: Qianlong.

Millennia ago - indigenous roam ming
contra bands that barely left their so called
"foot print," although live back thousand
of years ago rather brutish, nasty and short
(according to Thomas Hobbes - a British
political philosopher during enlightenment),
they cobbled flint stones in tandem with
crude implements to fell animals, which
fauna felled with purposefulness.

Now or ever since dawn of modern civilization,
we as collective human race appear to be on
war path of extinction, yet weapons of mass
destruction (seeping into popular culture)
pitch future of life on the brink of self-
annihilation, a reassuring thought to help
this bloke retire his weary bones and attempt
to become comfortably numb while dreaming
his forebears (no lion), tigers in the woods and
other creatures lumbering across terra
firmae without threat of extinction.

Progression of intellectual powers gave rise to
greater disparity between means to perform
beneficial versus destructive acts subsequently
fostering my morbid fascination with military
warfare from advent when simians stood *****
and could peer into distant horizon as like they
looked ahead when major lurches forward
allowed means to wipe out greater masses
of people with more precision.

Thus, a homage to those whose blood, sweat
and tears unwittingly delivered hair e beastie
boys into Daytona 500 speed demons (while
Barenaked ladies such as Madonna, Katy Perry,
and Taylor Swift showed indigo girl lush *******)
raced across finish line, while somewhere else
in time, the genesis of beatle browed kink e
dumpster diving dudes in dreadlocks for Snoop
Doggy Dog, Iced T, and Alice in Chains never
surpassing classical Greek drama longevity.
Unable to shake off drowsiness
     iz not ease zee,
hence, as a night owl, no
     (not that you
     give a hoot) ye
may be share compatible
     (i.e. nocturnal) circadian
     rhythm with this wee

***** Weber,
     but more particularly
     one po' somnambulant,
     whose square noggin resembles
     a flat screen tee vee
actually receiving signals
     from the outer limits
     of the twilight zone

     quite clear reception,
     especially after three
     o'clock in the morning
     slightly before scree
ching roosters announce,
     the break of dawn re
lush hing, the
     poignant hush pre

     seeding the sudden
     onset of que
kin ning hullaballoo
     amidst hectic pre
dominant hustle,
     and bustle to and fro,
     hither and yon nee
sis aery frantic

     pace to maintain
     21st century
    technological light
     (reo speed wagon) rush,
     this lifestyle not for me,
hence I favor
     knuckle scraping,
     bloodied hand to mouth,

     bare subsistence
     existence my lee
ving no wiggle room
     for adverse sit tee,
thus very mindful to maintain
     laser focus key
ping astutely attentive visa
     vis discover ring je

nais sais quois,
     (the only French I know)
hee...hee...hee
     well nigh conk
     clue ding goofy
dwarfed poem (compared
     to the Iliad,
     or Odyssey), now

time to put this old
     Scottish matted
     (swiftly tailored,
     haired styled)

     puppy (i.e. me)
    to the land without  
     my wordy wizard - Doctor dre,
but alive with
     a Rob'n Zombie!
and/or try distilling my spirits
at losing gamble
if curious (by George) proceed
reading reasonable rhyme,
I guarantee the following words ramble.

Though flush with good humor
pun one mock two yields negligible
true cash equivalent value won
dirt poor offspring privileged as prodigal son
pockets bursting with legal tender,
when just yesterday I reveled in fun.

All polite declinations
strung together would circle...
(fill in the blank) x times
matter of fact,
I just got a slew of them
today April 26th, 2022,
what a lucky man
me haint an idealist...,
but winning poetry (writing) contest
or purchasing lottery tickets...
yeah, nothing butta pipe dream

such improbable whimsical notion
linkedin and tantamount
with milkmaid and pail
Aesop pose fabulous incredulous solution
finally good riddance
hand to mouth existence
hello riches, perchance a dollop
and/or sizable windfall courtesy
drawn PowerBall and/or Mega Million ticket,
whereby yours truly suddenly

cursed with more'n chump change,
and/or abundant money
would experience "fifteen minutes of fame"
flush with friends and relatives,
who metaphorically came out of woodwork,
I (a misanthrope) never knew existed
(perhaps even marriage propositions,
no matter wedded bliss prevails)
interesting... how moderate
and/or substantial wealth
suddenly finds chock a block

acquisitions accessible at my fingertips
(regarding brand new automobile,
custom designed house,
travel opportunities galore
(maybe even vacation to Mars)
(despite prevalence coronavirus - COVID -19),
nevertheless honed awareness,
viz immutability altering
pubescent stunted emotional, physical
and social development
plus profusely sweating hands
then and now, social anxiety

all the while knowing money
can't buy happiness,
yet once and for all at long last
free and clear of grinding poverty
cuz groveling along
the pockmarked highway
avails countless exit ramps
plethora of choices
inviting strong arm of the law
for instance how to be analogous to jolly roger
piloting immense hijacked ship of state

(approximating size of Rhode Island)
equipped with the latest trappings
matter of fact replete
with every creature comfort
analogous to rich
self sufficient independent country
allowing, enabling, and providing
a warm welcome - think unfurled
Harris tweed Scottish welcome mat.

POSTSCRIPT: Feel free to be
kickstarter to (mine nonexistent)
Gofundme site Cree
hating altruism toward me,
whose monetary shortfall
cruel fate did decree,
though if yours truly ever
pens his autobiography,
ye will become privy
to mein kampf awash
with squandered key
opportunities harkening
back to primary school.

Argh...,I unwittingly thwarted
necessary positive growth
once in a lifetime occasions,
thus penury finds me
rattling figurative tin cup
for small largesse - ha.
An appetizer, essentially an
out of this world guacamole
quasi Neptune salad,
regarding self taught cook
earning prized counterpart
five Michelin stars,
when the missus artfully, carefully,
cannily, decorously, deftly,
and happily prepared
earlier today June 21st, 2024
for her favorite buzzfeeding nincompoop

otherwise known as yours truly
barley distilled friggin
human impractical joker,
(who just learned
how to walk ***** this morning)
gifted with absolute zero
sense and sensibility,
nevertheless whose modest
absinthe pride and prejudice
subsequently qualified him as Übermensch,

and admirable taste tester de jure
concerning culinary pop slop queen
cuisine of Schwenksville
of aforementioned dish
prepared courtesy unsung chef
at 2 Highland Manor Drive:
she made with the following ingredients:
vidalia onions, progresso tomato bisque,
pickles, gluten free pasta
cooked leftover coffee and filtered water
and crushed nature's promise tomatoes.

After above culinary creation completed,
she slaved away mostly all of yesterday
concocting pièce de résistance meatloaf entrée
fit for her kingly gourmand,
which complements included
butterball ground Turkey
peppered with green beans and corn
essentially the remaining bulk
made from everything
including the kitchen sink
plumbing the depths of innovation
remembering aromatic, emblematic, and idiomatic
savory eats of home and hearth
of Old Rotten Gotham
sliding into the behavioral sink.

When frequently motivated
me once upon a time little butterball
oven admirable spouse dons toque
(chef's hat that dates back to the 16th century.

Different heights may indicate rank
within a kitchen and the number of folds
can also signify a chef's expertise,
with each pleat representing
a technique that has been mastered.

As testimony to a successful endeavor
an array of cooking accouterments
(including scads of disparate utensils
plus various and sundry leftovers)
truthfully and essentially
Unrecognized Food Objects in refrigerator
constituted stock in trade scullery.

After successfully cooking,
expending and buzzfeeding me
a veritable Smörgåsbord
the industrial wife
(with just enough energy to spare)
readied herself to potschke
with assortment of ingredients,
she (the pleasingly plump wizard -
me ***** tonk woman),
whipped wonderfully wrought

provisions for the palate
one of a kind ruthless babe
(wrapped herself in homemade
swiftly tailored pigs in blanket)
aforesaid entrée fit for gourmet
capped first course
with snicky snack sammich hors d'œuvre
a combination of almond butter
(whole nuts crushed in blender),
unsweetened almond milk
topped with Welch's grape jelly.
135 · Jul 2019
Guaranteed soporific
Most salient benefit
anorexia nervosa wrought
excerpt, qua gut tease
burg address er...
four decades and seven years ago
plus countless hours, days, weeks...
elapsed with nary morsel

passing between two lips
starving lovely bones
dedicated grueling proposition
suicide knows no equal,
where puny pubescent (me)
engaged with self

consuming civil war
testing whether that
psychologically afflicted lad
willingly conceived during
heated passionate *******
'tween young married couple

copulated, created and begat
one scrawny son
flailing his spindly limbs
arm n ham heard skinny legs
still generates risible outbursts
analogous to firearms bursting

nearly met his demise
wit dem dim eyes of his,
though nursed courtesy mother
licensed practical medical practitioner
livingsocial severely undermined,
even presenting disunion
at this moment

peudo soldier of misfortune,
though quasi silver lining
stitched into corporeal being
nsync with coaxing
increased devotion to curry
lame literary accomplishments
until gratefully dead.

No meal taken until task
witnesses completed writing assignment
usually poetically kindled
flummery accomplished
hungry artist hyper aware
literary creativity bubbles forth

accentuated, buttressed pronounced
attempt crafting epistle,
endeavor to write heightened,
when sustenance withheld
body electric induces nattering nabob,
(yours truly) thwarts appetite

digestion process consumes energy
buzzfeeding grumbling beast
within mine belly
predictably, immediately, automatically
satiatiation consummated
to appease nagging wife
induces without fail mine glorious
eyes blink shut tight.
("Thus always I cause the death of tyrants.”)
the purported line Brutus uttered
after assassinating Julius Caesar.

     Alternatively titled:
The prose and consequential arguments
for the death penalty.

     An attempt to resuscitate
the following rambling missive
written quite some years ago
(being declared dead on arrival
if yours truly took emergency measures
to recruit editorial assistance),
but after re-reading loopy thought process,
I decided to submit to rebukes
and suffer withering criticism
from any anonymous reader.  

     Ever since the early forerunners
of twenty first century mankind
(sprinted across the trackless expanse
extant upon planet Earth),
modern **** Sapiens
essentially won out as coterie precursors
sans predominant present day team of rivals.

     The zigzag line,
whence our arboreal ancestors
skedaddled their way
toward a capitalone delineation
of die hard grateful deadheads
******* disaster, and acquiring
dubious distinction decreeing domain
of oblate spheroid as prime real estate,
(when Prometheus fire
made privy to proto humans,
while an anonymous forerunner
of Flintstones squatted squeezing
with utmost effort,
when nothing more
than an ear deafening blast of flatulence
issued forth unwittingly
kindled sparks of tinder),
the imperceptible figurative ink
did not dry before these hairy hooligans
edged out other prehensile primates.

     Enfant Terrible employed
as an analogy for punctuated equilibrium
(postulated by Stephen Jay Gould
heterochrony and similar evolutionary changes
would not be directed by the genes
that actually build various body parts)
witnessing a boom rang
amidst feral creatures unpredictably crowing
with foo fighting fecundity
(inadvertently in sync with Feng Shui)
to launch a scrappy posse
of measly mensch kin’s into the realm.

     This phenomena countless thousands
(more like millions) of years
since the inception of brutal,
nasty and short tempered
present day troglodytes.

     With the aid of an imaginary crystal ball,
the seeds of White Lily got borne
via Aery windy gusts
jet setting most “advanced” pygmy beastie boys
as the animalistic bellwether
per future adventure,
whence many anthropological
opposable thumbed volumes yet written
till the present deadly crossroads
announced ruthless Reichstag.

     Credos, codas, diktats
governing infantile Messerschmitt
Sol Invictus yet unnamed role
as most dangerous living beings
known to exist
unwittingly usurped
grandiose nom de plume
as Master baiters
predicating their survival
on brawn and brains
to public enemy number one
to all other life forms.

     As the fittest
(at least when accidents of circumstances
found tendency to crowd source,
the mob mentality already evident
as hyena cackles quickly garnered rubric
of might equals right),
thus grabbing by force of strong arms
(fingers clutching deadly lances),
the top prize
as sovereign dictators of the Proletariat).

     Over the course of millennia
(presently without Melania, who cares),
they became the de facto dominant species.

     The proto humans ancestors of Donald Trump,
essentially won the race millenniums ago.

     The evolutionary descendents
metamophasizing into bipedal hominids
of recent mankind did not monkey around
when competing in the Human Race.

     They elbowed, jostled,
and ousted competitors eventually
to ascend inexorably their way
to the top tier of totalitarianism.

     Great indomitable naked apes
of early simian evolution,
would not settle for any role
except top banana
in the hierarchical schema of biota
extant throughout the nascent
dawn of civilization
and age of Aquarius.

     Violence with whatever materiel at hand
vanquished any threat
to world wide webbed *******
sans existence at dawn of civilization.
  
    Closer to late morning and high noon
the tall tale ushered vanity
videre licet venal, vicious, vocal
frankly zapped Tarzans,
10,000 Maniacs, and voodoo worshippers
blitzed like banshees.

     Literal face saving each manikin for himself
(gnome hatter whether blood pact swore),
the bludgeoned, hoodwinked,
and whipped warriors wary warlocks
fought tooth nail to the death.

     One instant found a bald
(ah that explains my receding heir line)
bandied legged *******
macho tree swinging sportsman
(my monkey's uncle)
brazenly boasting bona fide.

     Well guess what ma friend?

     That sure-footed geico hunter
met a ****** death on an empty stomach.

     His purported blood brothers abandoned him
(at the drop of a clump of offal)
as not dependent and unreliable brethren.

     No such thing as a gentlemen’s agreement
ruled the ****** terra firmae.

     Amidst the warren of primates,
a promise quickly broached instantaneously
after pledging allegiance to a pseudo fraternity.

     Swift lee tailored and harried styled obeisance
adhered to a flip flop (dip thong)
pattern that guaranteed staying alive.

     This included bopping strapping "jocks"
on their beanies
with rotten tangerines of bystander’s
whereat even babies innocently
caught in the culture club
thwacks between one competing claque and another.

     Pity clobbered indiscriminately
friend and de foe alike
exacerbating ruination of bucolic beauty.

     Contra bands (very loosely applied)
associated with village people
as the most powerful brigands,
which shifting fidelity took place
without the presence
of border crossing guards
or border collies.

     The open frontier
presented Avast earthlinked heaven,
where danger lurked
in most every field camouflaged
by delusively diminutive sized cretins,
that punched a wallop with a crack
on the noggin before
indigenous faux peoples swooped down
amidst the war whoop emitted
by a madding crowd marauding
where angels feared to tread.

     Oft times (no doubt),
thee ah bridged brotherly bond broke
brooked ranks (once
upon unfamiliar terrain
of an alien nation)
plying figurative cards
to benefit bristling brood.
    
     Deoxyribonucleic Acid
played a key role as genetics
probably parlayed traits
to the ace of spades,
where the wild impractical joker
abetted physical heft
to hoist with her/his own petard heavy objects,
and mandates employed and obeyed
by snatching strapping twisted sisters,
thence sacking sacred cistern,
when bands of ruffians
within the melee wrought regal restitution.

     Where nature fell short
weeding out the weak, sickly, elderly,
frail, deformed, et cetera,
the Flint Stone Age paradigm
evinced population control
linkedin to Netzero tolerance
for even minor infractions.

     Interwoven with the whack
upon the mole hole atop noggin
with cracked skull
(and broken weapon of destruction)
throve the depredations
of rival rebellious ravenous stealthy,
quick of pluck (prestidigitatious like)
orchestrated nature made ideology.

   Highlight of Goofus and Gallant
bred within the survival instinct
of hungry hordes of prey,
when Earth in the balance
against an uncomfortable truth
smug smurf like scavengers.

     Punishment meted out
and limited by the poison
yielded courtesy iron maiden
of hand-to-hand mortal kombat.

     Only when the codification,
edification, glorification…
of sedentary versus nomadic lifestyle
did considerations turn
to protection of self and others.

     This shift in consciousness
occurred over great swaths of time.

     At some juncture in the history,
an alteration from superstitious,
querulous, and portentous outlook,
some anonymous hotmail
awakened with a momentous,
judicious, and industrious insight
to counter act and oppose
hellacious and supplant said pathos
with a healthy generous dose
of fortuitousness reckoned
by invention formulating calculus,
audaciousness and picking up
some helpful tips from bad company.

     Difficult to pinpoint
the precise instance or prodigy
who advanced contemplation,
federation, intuition…
the process most likely happened
in fits and starts.
    
     As aggregates of close affiliates with out genus and species recognized benefits of law and order, a coordinated effort seemed to blossom forth promulgating civility, every good boy does fine mentality and seeking methodologies to offer greater guarantee for longevity.
  
     Creedence clearwater revival delivered the gospel according to Matthew, which soon indoctrinated the merry brigands of pagans actuating obloquy against contrary beliefs.

     Long story short of course forcibly pronounced decree imposing religious strictures to be obeyed lest one be sentenced to death.

     Many a decent creature, who found solace from spirits that inhabited the natural environment got sucker punched (or worse tortured till he and/or she recanted supposed primitive beliefs), and at some instance relinquished spiritual heritage harkening back generations.
  
     Though freedom of religion an inalienable right, a twisted sister logic (my opinion) seems to destroy innocent lives while a terroristic perpetrator becomes a martyr.

     If the realm of each cerebral individual aggressively usurped by indomitable fanatics hell bent on proselytizing at a very tender age, (when the mind most malleable), and hashtagging those whose willpower greater than any sword, the latter labeled heretics with the price of their life to pay for staunchly held vision quest.

     Here doth stare me a long entrenched hypocrisy at the expense of no threat to another.  
      
     How (warning cause mumbo jumbo ahead) in the name of tarnation (with or without feathers would be incidental to this Unitarian based atheist) can there be a more severe implication of self sovereignty than the deprivation for personal willfulness as a natural curiosity to cogitate, educate, genuflect…et cetera on the ramifications of humanism if forced to recant such individualistic projections?

     Unbeknownst to this wordsmith his meandering reflections would follow an arc unpredictable at the start of this self-imposed literary exercise. His er rather my intent aspired to dwell on near black and white principles of so-called right and wrong.

     Funny (and/or maybe ironic), that most if not all organized edicts disparage against every single premise (particularly taking the life of another without just cause), yet pronounce severe screeds with a bounty hunter put upon the head of he/she who professes such antithetical intimations.

     Further objection toward adherents to this, that or some other accepted codex, when the sanctity of embryonic/fetal entity sets mad men going off on a rampage of ranting, and raving, and even killing in the name of pro life.

     This introspective, live, oddly ruminating uber xman wags as a sagacious thinker, and does assent that a capital offense (such as ****** – minus self defense) ought to be dealt with a blow (both figurative and literal) against the killer, though outright execution disallows the hardened criminal to become sensitized to such a deadly deed.

     Earlier chapters of mein kampf would elicit an immediate declaration that what he/she who kills another ought to get (I scream) their just desserts. As the decades passed, a realization that exact retribution can bring reduction regarding the departed heartfelt, lost past quirky specialness, whether that person constitutes an outlier whose notions, thoughts, whims, et cetera, could upend the entire complex edifice what tomb me on par with an ennobled, established, and accepted myth greater than Sisyphus.

     Whatsapp penning to me (a punning logophile with acute perception can be briefly explained by the role of fatherhood. As the papa of two dearly beloved daughters (both soon on the cusp of taking wing and flying the coop at the electronic date/time stamp), many controversial stances underwent augmentation within the breastworks of mine *****.

     How many emotionally laden issues posit one or both of said prized progeny as a hypothetical/speculative victim courtesy growing up in a dysfunctional upbringing.

     Anger against the avenger would be mirrored by innumerable questions. I would be keen to share how pained this papa felt/feels, and beckon to  explain what provoked such unforgivable vengeful wrath against himself.

     Damage would haunt thine prized precious offspring, and this dada cannot imagine how a mother and father endure the never-ending permanent harm dealt their son or daughter no matter the perpetrator penalized.
Nor do I feel free
akin to noble savage
(gratis to Jean Jacques Rousseau)  
completely unfettered, and able lee
to fend off unseen banshee,
comically swatting for all to see,

though today February Eighth,
2019 quite similar (i.e. dime
a dozen) to many previous twenty
four hour blocks of time,
herewith metering poetic testimony

hashing out another rhyme,
I feel considerably less mindful,
as if complicit in a major crime,
(yes absolutely more remorseful
regarding entire lifetime

of indifference) prime
err rilly linkedin into call lapsed
shoulder shrug, shrink into self, or
other convenient pantomime
schizoid personality disorder diagnosis,

asper this pronounced emotional detachment
more painfully clear climb
ming pyramid of self actualization -
engendered through longtime
therapy in tandem with

half dozen prescription medications
and cathartic, holistic, therapeutic...pastime
writing poems delving into scarred psyche
aftermath years burned by quicklime
writhing, when aware impacted me now

evincing unrepentant blank affect
behavior couched, established, fostered
during in utero stage, characteristics
manifested by full termtime
tidbits shared by parents chime

how my body tensed
like tightly wound coil before schooltime
reinforced destructive coping skills
resident in this older chap
aroused during bedtime
poking, seeping, violating...dreamtime.
whiling away his time playing solitaire...
November second two thousand and twenty
fast approaching the final countdown

With less than twenty four, twenty three,
twenty two...  hours
harkening, heralding or (worse case scenario)
hindering the presidential election,
I trumpet mounting tension and suspense,
whereby anticipation hangs
analogous to sword of Damocles
precariously looms - casting dark shadow
across the webbed wide world.

While safely ensconced in his man cave
yours truly snug as a bug in a rug
quite aware the geopolitical stakes grave
speculating whether I will be forced to sell lave
over a hot stove to earn me keep
attending tsoris of missus rant and rave,
especially if social security stripped away.

Should the Republican incumbent
clinch the nomination
courtesy voter disenfranchisement,
hooligans threatening violence,
spewing conspiracy theories
or other ****** maneuvers

the country most definitely
headed toward perdition
condemning everyone minus super rich
to live as basket of deplorables
scrounging for measly scraps.

Figurative screws tightened
upon scuttled constitutional birthrights,
while commander in chief
arrogantly dons totalitarian mantle
exuding Grinchian grin
issuing one after another bromide
battleax and henchmen forthwith decide
peace on Earth and

good will toward men/women
making travesty founding fathers/mothers
pledge guaranteeing inalienable rights
subsequently sacred documents falsified
instituting instead corporal punishment,
whereby armed militia ordered
to smoke out where traitor sought to hide.

Indeed nothing like good n plenti
healthy dose of mayhem to roil
time tested democracy methinks
Thomas Jefferson would approve
of said message, yet no doubt stupefied
at how fledgling United States
matured into plutocracy
incorporating bajillion dollar campaign cost.

Blitzkrieg advertisements inundate airwaves
mudslinging contestants unethically behaves
how aging long haired pencil necked geek craves
idealistic civil plebeians versus patricians
lovely bones of interred forefathers
within weathered tombstones graves
plucked burial sites souvenirs stolen by knaves.

Best advice to ye dear (rabbit) reader
hunker down into bunker till end of time
keep yourself busy writing one or another rhyme,
cuz some future archeologist will discover
visa a vis profound wordsmith, whose sublime
abilities necessitate special skill decoding
mysterious symbols courtesy algorithm prime
transmitted across bandwidth,
now where flourishes cyber crime.
America - This nation will remain
the land of the free only so long
as it is the home of the brave.
courtesy a local Indiana man,
one named Elmer Davis -
(1890-1958) was
a journalist and broadcaster.
He worked for the New York Times
from 1914 to 1924.
As nightly news analyst
for CBS (1939-1941)
he had an audience
of 12.5 million viewers.
Roosevelt appointed him head
of the newly created
Office of War Information (OWI) in 1941.

Most likely long hours,
maybe even days or weeks
after most contentious election
witnessed within the United States
after voting machines satisfactorily deployed
(meaning at long last contender identified)
once winning candidates declared,
EVMs again kept inside the strong room
and the room locked and sealed,
which again done in front of candidates
or their representatives,
plus signs taken as well.

I don't wanna be stayin' alive
come Tuesday, November 5, 2024
particularly if the presumed winner
as forty seventh president
none other than antithetical,
despotical, egotistical, fanatical,
heretical, impractical, lunatical...
oafish hull windswept orange
and yellow spray-on
hair dyed, coiffed,
and barb burred septuagenarian,
whose tidy quasi toupee
looks like a foreign racoon
migrated onto his head.

Cuz the death knell of democracy
willfully, woefully tolls
all across the webbed wide world
because Joseph Robinette Biden Junior,
whose insistence to remain in the drawing
drew droves of electorate to the polls,
handing victory margin,
whereby countless elephants
trumpeted far and wide
affecting a Republican landslide.

Impossible mission
to keep doors shuttered
over subsequent pandemonium
to hear donkeys braying,
bobbing, and babbling
doleful "hee-haw" sound,
not because their tails pinned incorrectly,
but rather courtesy yes
screaming fans of Mötley Crüe,
(that Doctor Feelgood could not cure)
sparking seismic activity equivalent

to a 9.9 magnitude
(so take that Taylor Swift)
deafening roar that rocks the crowded house
ushering bono fide pandemonium:
the name stems from Greek pan,
meaning 'all' or 'every',
and daimónion, a diminutive form
meaning 'little spirit', 'little angel',
or, as Christians interpreted it,
'little daemon', and later.

The aftermath of a Biden loss
(not just him - and his coterie
being called "loser"
the rest of life),
but would be a field day among
die hard Republicans,
and even some renegade Democrats
that would cause
the Grateful Dead to become awake
turncoats that would find
lovely bones of Benedict Arnold

rattling and humming with U2
courtesy hullabaloo quintessentially
branding, hashtagging, vetting and
rocketing nonestablishmentarians
as political outcasts
forcing an aging long haired
pencil neck geek such as yours truly (me)
forcing us (socially conscious voters)
to forage as a foreigner alienated, ostracized,
and penalized on another planet
survival incumbent upon

the outer limits of the twilight zone,
where dark shadows morphed,
jump/kickstarted, exaggerated
into monstrous shapes
along the edge of night,
which spooky, haunting,
ghastly, eerie place
more appealing than
then prospective tragic loss of freedoms
such as life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness.
poise zen dystopian rant

This prognosticator doth predict
potential based at current rate
sinister debacle that will
instantaneously annihilate,
United States storied republic,
which alarming horror
points to instantaneous annihilation
of America the beautiful;
(ohm my dog) turbulent
endemic chaotic spate

within human race poised to strike
doom and generate
shock tummy once
amp pull goldenlocks,
now revealing a shiny baldpate
erratic behavior attendant prescient
intimations presage apocalyptic fate
while current commander in chief
didst unwittingly generate,
and sow the seeds of anarchy sparking

global conflagration that will create
instantaneous prime evil
total mortal kombat,
cuz "FAKE" mandate
issued, when Trump went ballistic
loose sing rockets red glare,
when pressing hot button to demonstrate
thermonuclear supremacy,
(albeit a moot point),
would render superfluous need to late

to draft intestate
last (or perchance first, second,
third...) will and testament, tete a tete
perhaps minuscule (nee infinitesimal) bomb
turns out a dud (Amazon, Toys "R" Us
Walmart, or  store
of choice reject) aye narrate
finding Don irate
(blaming "crooked Hillary," democrats,
gumby...yours truly...)

the list goes on, thus no need to iterate,
thus a sudden religious fervor gripped
the wide webbed world
attributing why weapons did not actuate
which found pontiff in high demand
in an attempt to accommodate
frenzied zeal attributing aborted blitzkrieg
to divine intervention with bajillion
talking heads airing where to dedicate
material trappings to indigent, great

full not dead, plus those petty
criminals rightly or wrongly,
the strong arm of
lanced law did incarcerate
bowed down on daily and nightly basis
exploding huzzahs every
human did *******
"not prematurely," where
all walks of life did integrate,
a spontaneous international

utopian revelation awoke
with linkedin diversity to promulgate
protecting the planet took precedence
yea right Matthew Scott - dear mate
only in the context of
this poem I did create
on December twenty third
two thousand eighteen,
and now hemming and hawing
CANNOT wait,

thus conscientious, fractious, and incautious,
members of the electorate
must not shirk their role
as arbiters of life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness
obliging themselves obeisance
to the fifteenth amendment
of the United States Constitution,
which prohibits the federal government
and each state from denying

or abridging a citizen's right to vote
"on account of race, color,
or previous condition of servitude,"
when said legal resolution
ratified on February 3, 1870,
as the third and last
of the Reconstruction Amendments
cuz the wise ghost of Abraham Lincoln
did not procrastinate.
No matter by
     Adam and the Ants,
     this inquisitive mind
     doth wonder why
tis virtually imp
     possible to envision
     subatomic particles
     that jockey and vie,

asper analogous, sans
     microscopic solar systems,
     which invisible orbitz unify
constituent molecular
     entities kept intact
     (for some designated
     amount of time),
     which for simplicity sake, thy

will imagine to freeze
     frame, and esse spy
     one fleeting instant,
     and deem such
     ordinarily random
     behavior arbitrarily static -
     even though unseen vibrant
     matter aswirl and dynamic,

     perhaps vaguely emulating
     (of course, a bajillion times
     smaller than a pinhead)
     Catcher in the Rye,
or perchance, there
     could be at least one
     (maybe more) byte size
     Matthew Scott Harris try

ying to write
     a poem, analogous
     to a parallel universe,
     (uh huh...sure right -
     just play along),
     yea, I hear that sigh
anyway, if possible
     to zoom and pry

into subatomic webbed
     wide world well nigh,
I gently urge
     you to visualize,
     and make believe
     dramatic killing fields
     akin, (and/or
     ache'n) to My Lai

destroy, (and
     frankly zap ping)
     potential vitality, thus high
jacking regenerative
     cellular capacity
     eventually cause
     zing carbon based.
     i. e. organic life to die.
Otherwise known as
absentee ballot/ mail-in ballot
if ye read no further... please exercise
opportunity to cast ballot
obviously freedom to choose,
but take serious stock of human *******
(desperately calling out
for the Maugham me)
regarding: economy, integrity, monetary, xyz...

Anyway, twas quite
pleasurably comfortably seated
cerebrally assessing optimal choice(s),
carefully using dark ink
to designate candidate(s) on roster
without being inconvenienced
versus scouting out parking space,
doubly troubled with meteorologic curse

as weather turns severely inclement,
subsequently wading thru
still waters that move deep
(cue electorate getting
splashed courtesy angry driver)
finally standing in long line
closely resembling infinite jesting
looping Möbius strip.

Throughout mine voting career nsync
back then a whopping $2.30 =
Pennsylvania minimum wage
ohm eye dog...!

http://www.winedecider.com/
en/vintage/1977.htm lists oenophile vintage
I teetotaler shied away alcoholic usage
wine not axe else questions,
who experienced tutelage?

Extreme social distancing stage
then identified as introvertedness,
sublimating any rage
me i.e. wallflower never invited to party,
thus remain shtup in boyhood bedroom
when chronology equaled quarterage
compared to present orbitz around sun

now... still smarting - essentially
never made psychological pilgrimage
to adulthood, oh for sure parents
found withdrawn behavior (mine) an outrage
depriving yours truly natural
linkedin interpersonal discovery(ies)
emotionally shortchanging me – noncoverage

replaced with buffering self in isolation
yea... kinda like quarantine mirage
minus coronavirus - COVID-19
never learning/mastering dating language
hence... alone within
mine emotional wilderness
analogous to Matthew

Scott Harris's private hermitage
20/20 hindsight heart wrenching gauge
long haired pencil necked
hippy caricature just a lad
dinned during rosy 1960's flowerage,
reaping what I did sow
with rusty and fragile equipage.

Metaphorical three strikes disadvantage,
nonetheless below shows initial POTUS,
spouses (FLOTUS), plus
respective vice presidents
upon me attaining
legal Pennsylvania voting age.


1977-1981
Jimmy Carter
Rosalynn Carter
Walter F. Mondale
1981-1989
Ronald Reagan
Nancy Reagan
George Bush
1989-1993
George Bush
Barbara Bush
Dan Quayle
1993-2001
Bill Clinton
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Albert Gore
2001-2009
George W. Bush
Laura Bush
Richard Cheney
2009-2017
Barack Obama
Michelle Obama
Joseph R. Biden
2017-
Donald J. Trump
Melania Trump
Mike Pence
135 · Apr 2022
Ice age cometh moot point
No matter unseasonably
blustery March like weather
prevails across my neck of the woods
(Southeastern Montgomery County, Pennsylvania)
and across the main body
of these United States of America
particularly original Thirteen Colonies
global warming alive and well
and promises to return
with a vengeance
after station identification.

Find out pertinent ice age accouterments;
gear up as soon as possible
with suitable and necessary arctic trappings
by accessing without delay
https://icetrek.com/equipment-guide.

Researchers used data on Earth's orbit
to find the historical warm
interglacial period that looks
most like the current one
and predicted that the next ice age
would usually begin within 1,500 years.

Now back to regularly scheduled program
donned and trumpeted as poetic blurb.

Incumbent onus warrants immediate action
to stem tide of global warming
or ***** breakers to thwart dire crisis,
cuz figurative and literal tsunami
in the offing gathering strength.

Plethora of humans (think overpopulation)
directly linkedin to planet Earth dire strait
re: environmental catastrophe, née debacle
teeters along brink tipping point inevitably
pitching civilization headlong into oblivion
**** sapiens (minus those living off grid)
admirably self sufficient unto themselves,

perhaps ecological intentional community
while yours truly, one guilt ridden wordsmith
laments impacting minimal carbon footprint
(courtesy these thankful little feet size nine+)
nonetheless psychological torment wracks
lovely bones garden variety/generic human

specifically comprising complex edifice me
Matthew Scott Harris riven with loathsome
abomination, constipation, indignation, et al
mustered, tethered, yoked into capitalistic,
commercialistic, consumeristic ditto et alia
versus altruistic holistic, simplistic again re:

call synonymous words regarding contrast
between belching, exhausting, and polluting
(naming three adjectives describing impact
predominantly nsync with prophetic albeit,
profit oriented profligate, profane paradigm
unleashing immense global carbon emissions.

Impossible mission to uncouple accountability,
(no matter minuscule - veritable drop within
figurative bucket when quantity contrasted/
compared alongside industrial waste courtesy
major corporations), yet helplessness prevails
survival (mine) inextricably bound trappings
twenty first century allow, enable, and provide

exploiting even dollop so called nonrenewable
resources, I could sacrifice corporeal entity -
body, mind and spirit within eyeblink exhales
last breath before becoming repurposed - inert
cremated ashes randomly scattered across all
points encompassing terrestrial world wide web.

Obituary -
Despite havoc primate species did wreak
from the afterlife I figuratively speak
and applaud millennials whose peak
performance accorded courtesy
your token "aged hippie,"

mild mannered and meek
and long haired pencil necked geek,
whose disembodied spirit
now volunteers as Halloween sideshow freak
incorporating gallows humor tongue in cheek.
tonight October  25th, 2022
terrifically summarily requoting

poetic outdated iteration,
I share the following lines
echoing in the valley
of love and delight.
courtesy 20/20 hindsight
October twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty two
admirable, corrigible, fallible,
and intelligible light

hearted fella (amazingly
gracefully aging
baby boomer) usually polite
doth not trend toward
superficial nor trite,
neither can yours truly
said to abide by beliefs, ethos
ideologies, et cetera notions characterized
as distinctly black and white.

Ostrich (I stretch) literary creativity
with Rhea yule wordplay
(mine metaphorical putty) enjoys
shape shifting rules
of English language
casting them bon voyage
analogous to loosing a hot air balloon
never knowing literary
endeavor (mine) outcome
unpredictable as wind
doth form sand dune

farfetch'd jimmied physique
peculiarly genetically hewn
no avian expert, yet
sports wide whirled
webbed analogous to loon
yours truly at heart,
an honest to dog poltroon
acquired pipes, whereat
ofttimes I (a fool on the hill)
sing out of tune.

No idea when predilection arose
to toy with said mother tongue
frequently buzzfeeding me passion,
I rend toward proclivity
maketh anonymous reader to doze
gibberish spews gobbledygook
which kooky logophile doth expose,
where gobbledygook profusely flows
gushing out imaginary hose
frequently diverging off course

pertaining to poem title
which (reading between
the roaring lines) here
sought to delineate highs and lows
regarding squandered (particularly
linkedin with female)
friendship opportunities aye sip pose
jangling this beau zoe
from head to his gnarly
webbed whirled wide toes.

I don't mean to engender pity
excruciatingly socially withdrawn
garnered alienation since birth
regarding human bonds, which dearth
all thru these three score plus three years
athwart planet (unfit) ness Earth
teetering in the balance
pregnant around equatorial girth
found yours truly figuratively
tied to mother's apron string,
I always felt safe and secure,
within home and hearth
even when Scottish welcome matt

yanked away by those who begot me,
now in retrospect ability
to muster mirth
within savage dime
a dozen verbal lashings
(courtesy mama and papa,
the former long since deceased
and latter (upon original date of this poem)
declining nonagenarian respectfully
their sole male offspring
ironically now here at petticoat juncture
amidst swath of rolling green acres
during mein kampf
distills their overlooked worth.

Shying eye contact, I vaguely recollect
Matthew Scott Harris
as wee lad did disappoint
way back during second grade lunch
at Eagleville Elementary School,
a pretty girl christened Renee
(if memory serves me correctly)
induced writhing and foaming
incoherent sounds of silence
indubitably witnessed yours truly
an extremely shy boy
hiding behind makeshift barrier
(possibly tartan patterned lunchbox)
to avoid at all costs
painful penetrating piercing
inducing me to look askance.

As an extremely shy kid
(lacking benefit of powdermilk biscuits)
even briefest eye contact with lovely lass
sent extreme agitation
coursing thru measly frame
wreaking emotional/psychological distress
(visit repeated aforementioned
refrain ad nauseum)
recurring without letup
boyhood to young adulthood,
when within close proximity
attractive gal froze mine functionality
even with intent to exchange passing "hello."

Fast forward to recent past
i.e. namely second half of bleak existence
angst oozed and profusely did bleed,
when ability to bolster daring deed
communicating amorousness awkwardly freed
potential foolishness or embarrassment,
I shushed inner voice of amplified reason,
side stepping preservation,
aye did not heed
boot blurted out juvenile

barenaked lady desires indeed
spelling repugnance and con seeded
instant ruination against fulfilling
hormonal secretion need
wanting to escape utter fool hardiness
beating hasty retreat
(think tail between legs)
ruffly at thoroughly bred dog  
with mile a minute
tail a wagging uber speed!
A cold wintry January 53rd, 2021
at Highland Manor apartments
picturesque snow covered landscape
safely ensconced within Unit B44,
we (yours truly and wife)
occupy bedroom and
television room respectively
comfortably numb and toasty warm
at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
courtesy climate controlled environment.

I practice crafting poetry
(seeking posthumous fame)
while the spouse busies herself
channel surfing putting
down remote control
after espying satisfactory movie
(Fatal Attractions),
about which she knows
every single detail,
and can rattle offer personal tidbits
about cast of actors and actresses.

Aforementioned regular routine
predictable until
onset rites of spring,
where warm weather perfect balm
to allow, enable and provide
antidote to existential woes
coping with being quarantined,
though sensing optimism
regarding president Joe Biden
green lighting living social pursuits
possibly revisiting
following favorite pastime.

Recalling contra dancing
as palliative against bashfulness
life as high school wallflower served me
without any budding female friendships
until lo… agent tulle nudge, yes
my mother over mollycoddled
then uprooted me
mein kampf familiar
bedrock level road terrain,
which venue offered groundswell

to blossom forth into
golden sterling resplendent rod
of natural equipoise,
(an unbiased opinion) and balance
with freestyle improvisational swinging motions
unchained from moors of formality
lit figurative saint elmo’s
Sesame Street Big Bird
winging fiery dance
allowing, enabling and

providing shy awkward self
during his young adulthood
to cast away four ever
self embroidered handsome
straight as an arrow
naturally high as a kite young guy
buzzfeeding like yellow jacket
liberating spontaneity
that je ne sais quoi joie vivre
clamoring headlong toward pollination
healthy packing heat overflowing

testosterone bin laden well nigh
erupting pistol (stay man)
toward opposite gender,
whereby bravado donned as key
to *** field of whet dreams
fostering initial albeit late blooming
roll in the hay hormonally
rooted rutting squeal!
Fabled, faded, and faint scars courtesy varicella,  
a highly contagious infection caused 
by varicella zoster virus can still be seen
unlike kids today inoculated during childhood,
thus youngsters deprived mild fever and 
rash of itchy inflamed blisters yours truly
contracted said infection bedridden, and
served tall glass of Ovaltine.

Within blink of eye, the medical practitioner
(Zieglerville CVS pharmacist) administered
first dose regarding inoculation against acute,
painful inflammation of nerve ganglia with
skin eruption often forming girdle around

middle of body approximately four months,
hence (early April 2020), I will eagerly avail
same upper arm to boost near total immunity
against aforementioned unpleasantness linked
tin with same virus as chickenpox, whereby

childhood virus inactive in nerve tissue near
spinal cord and brain years later reactivating,
manifesting, and blistering unannounced well
come, thus proactive decision to receive first
of two approved preemptive measures to stave

off unnecessary physical strife I acknowledge
gratitude for brilliant minds allowing, enabling,
and providing quality existence courtesy health
coverage courtesy medicare and/or medicaid.

Opportunistic encroachments vis a vis countless
micro-organisms gain traction where as climate
change avails colder polar regions become more
temperate exhuming former frozen land masses
increasing encroachment within once unforgiving
environments rendered (courtesy global warming)

most severely impacting populations least culpable
straight away bearing fossil fuel fallout brunt, plus
imposed with onerous task adopting sweeping life
style modalities never experiencing (analogously
figuratively savoring capitalistic trappings, where
livingsocial activated by sophisticated plush easy


chair commanding beck and call humanoid robots
(think Sleeper 1973 Woody Allen comedy) ennui
offset donning high tech virtual reality goggles to
blast into surreal webbed wide world while global
warming excites, kindles, quickens, snaps, crackles
and pops arousing panic lest holiday shopping not

complete madding crowds unaware there will soon
be end of civilization fire and liquidation sale ironic
since manufactured goods rendered an absolute zero
worth, while planet Earth smolders, where deep purple
people eaters amazingly gracefully daintily ravenously
relish fancy feast comprising grateful dead masquerade.
I hate spoiler alert
regarding weather forecasters prediction,
especially when meteorologist
wannabe spouse doth blurt
out impending blizzard
which never materializes.

Yours truly humbled and enamored
when Mother Nature
singly and/or nsync with old man winter
looses propensity to wreak havoc
and/or blankets landscape
I fondly think back
remembering '96 storm of the century.

At that time January 1996
me and the missus timesharing
Shawnee on the Delaware
ardently striving, yet
unsuccessful conceiving Blizzard Baby.

Now far beyond procreative age,
(though I wistfully envisage
begetting another progeny -
simultaneously stretching credulity
to breaking point)
all things considered
exhaustion would peter out
after capitulation of divining rod
necessitating lifetime to recoup energy.

Bound within figurative four walls
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania domicile
courtesy appreciable snowfall,
I direct energy crafting poem.

Yours truly will actually
refrain comestibles despite feeling hungry -
lest metabolism to digest food
decreases potential alertness,
and full belly finds me
ready able and willing
to doze immediately into deep slumber.

Hungry stomach in tandem
with eventful weather
sends surge of giddiness
coursing thru body electric
crackling, popping, and snapping
(while O Captain My Captain)
came to witty man (me) suddenly
enervating with poignant pregnant expectancy
papa pondering his empty nest syndrome
analogously attempting to offset void

coaxing poem into existence
unsure how literary endeavor
(mine) will thrive
amidst well suited
panoply of prolific writers,
whose unseen fingers
hop lightly and gracefully
across qwerty computer keyboard
akin to heavy armed soldiers
with fearlessness and deliberation
heading off to war to acquire poetic license.

Meanwhile chafed knuckles
of one garden variety primate
previously scraping along tundra
(methinks I espy frozen Mastodon)
(before twenty first century caveman
learned to stand *****)
endeavors to strike letter combinations
eliciting, facilitating, and generating
enticing curb appeal.
Peter Pan Syndrome the most
accurate way to summarize
psychological mindset of yours truly,
particularly as a boy with brown eyes,
who did NOT holistically acclimatize

himself with peers, which insecurity
latched deadbolt draw
bridge guaranteeing Harris
parasite to cannibalize
(figuratively), sans rip

pull sieve flesh eating das guise
nanobot, while clinging with dear life
to mother's apron strings, no surprize
unavoidably, predictably, inevitably,
trauma did successfully burglarize

(more serious than Watergate)
rendering this withdrawn, small size
passive, and docile pipsqueak
human punching bag to other guys,
one puny slip shape lad's ****** statecraft

always ready to capsize
silently suffering lifetime, threatening
afflictions, harming easy target
inculcating aghast fear to socialize
compounded by stature quite undersize

additionally afflicted with minor defect
submucous cleft palate did compromise
vocalization with severe nasality
(iterated previously other poems), where
bullies did zero Kamikaze like to criticize

relentlessly, an ideal
defenceless, friendless,
and helpless "scapegoat" ***** prize
scared kid, who stood
stock still cowering in an agonize

zing posture, while my whole felt as if tied
into gordian knot as
"hoodlums" did gleefully antagonize,
yet never confided hostile treatment
to either parent, I wanted to disappear
and DIE, hence escapist wishes aye did fantasize!
Move over Linus
Van Pelt of Peanuts fame,
cuz yours truly
also psychologically lame
since prepubescence
mine noticeably long hair

delivered inner comfort,
yet found some classmates
calling me "hippy" by name
though other tormentors among them
hurled expletive laced offensive insults
even ethnic slurs much less tame.

Absolute zero
anti-bullying laws prevailed ahoy
when reasonably rhyming poet
just a little beastie boy
"mean kids" hurtful tactics

they did deploy,
though one bookish lad named Donald Hoy,
he rode the same bus as me,
and most likely practiced magic ploy
to ward off nemesis.

Impossible mission
to detangle mane reason why
I experienced omnipotent
hair reed bond neither thy
father, mother nor therapist

could understand or qualify
outsize (obsessive/compulsive)
significance well nigh
much more (hyperbolically writing)
blatantly mystifying and unsettling

versus comprehending meaning
regarding the bridge on the River Kwai,
whereat these long strands
emanating from scalp, I
imagined them extending
out into space into no fly
zone, and if adored locks threatened
with someone brandishing scissors
one puny lad would cry.

Parents did not berate,
when early within mein kampf,
no matter my mother did execrate
obsessive compulsive thoughts did instigate
long necked pencil geek son
did unwittingly irritate
analogous to Samson

(though Delilah not my mate),
I imbue power courtesy each golden lock
atop me addled sub tracked pate,
where fifty plus shades of gray matter
houses ticky tacky psyche substrate,
which doth bubble, gurgle and percolate.

Only upon taking me last breath of air
viz, when grim reaper delivers death,
I will unroll welcome me
Scottish Harris tweed mat without fanfare
(for this common man),
and just maybe allow, enable, and provide
thee opportunity for scissors

to lop off longish straggly hair
subsequently repurposed into a
security blanket ideally suited
to create creature comfort within lair
for garden variety and generic caveman,
who truth be told lives very near
yours truly in Schwenksville.
Often these days
(closing in on the eighth
anniversary of eighth orbit
around mister sun),
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to share
how one and only son,
remembers his mother
cuz about eighteen years
after mother succumbed
courtesy of terminal illness
he updates yearly a poem initially crafted
when she passed away.

I still reckon eyes how yours truly
analogous to Atlas -
shrugged off proffering
tender loving care
within whose womb,
one zygote underwent gestation
this sole male offspring born,
thus subsequently after her demise,
yours truly shouldered himself with self scorn.

He clearly recounts
as if her death occurred yesterday...,
when all mine troubles
(emotional, financial, and physical)
moost definitely
no more farther away
then present moment.

Tempus fugit popular worded couplet
or imagine an hourglass
where fine granules
analogous to last remaining
grains representing sands of time
trickle from one to another
(upper to lower) bulbed chamber
just prior when coroner decreed death,
yet an opportunity prevailed,

wherein said self (me) chose
NOT to stand vigil at deathbed
of she who begat
an older and younger daughter
(mine sibling sisters).

Last breath(s) expelled while mama
tethered to machines,
one or more helped diminish
agonizing, depressing, and writhing
pain and discomfort
figuratively and literally
wracked and pinioned once fitness
and health conscious, flirtatious
industrious, tenacious, and vivacious body,
dinged by a former carcinoma

eradicated courtesy regimen of
chemotherapy and radiation,
which latter malignant terminal illness
(no joke) riddled a former robust
Arthur Murray ballroom dance instructor
(think approximately sixty eight years past),
whose coy and coquettish demeanor
instantaneously caught fancy of handsome
twenty something papa at his prime.

Before rigor mortis quickly
stole precious lifeblood, and
final minutes ticked away until
countdown to... realm
of absent consciousness
scant moments before subtle transition
slipped our beloved mother
out of misery (a veritable battleground)
where she did silently rage into deadzone...,
neither final adieu, caress, grief...,
nor poem written...
never communicated to deceased,

not an iota of sorrowful lament
bequeathed, prevailed, relinquished...
over lifeless body (mommy dearest)
relegated limp suddenly cold stone body,
where morgue aged corpse
kept in cold storage
(despite aversion to frigid air
exhibited when mama alive)
preparatory to cremation process.

Rather... suppressed resentment
exhibited itself at 1148 Greentree Lane
(partial listed abode -
Matthew Scott Harris,
where family of mine then resided)
by mister recalcitrant,
felt ambivalent carte blanche blasé affection

regarding once young bride,
(who metaphorically
smothered cingular heir insync
with dada i.e. Boyce Brandon Harris),
cuz he (yours truly) overstayed
livingsocial under same roof as parents,
which happenstance situated
at me boyhood home
once located upon
six plus wooded acres;
324 Level Road
constituted the whittled down
once sprawling Leiper Estate,
which encompassed about
one hundred plus acre wood
home to Winnie the Pooh.

Both thee aforementioned
supposed biological guardians
railed, screamed, tormented
(albeit verbally traumatized)
yours truly, upon attaining
mine eighteenth birthday,
when great expectations greatly exacerbating

emotionally hard times,
which ill suited poet de jure
experienced, brickbats rained
akin to fountainhead spewing
painful pelting piercing
poisonous pummels
down upon these
(considerably mooch younger) lovely bones,
whose anger (mine) smoldered

linkedin to constant epithets of expletives
out the mouths of those who begat me,
subsequently their livid with rage
tsunami festered within me
every holy moly molecule.

Mine atomized corporeal being
manifesting itself as deprivation
to embrace dear mama
attended at hospital with
both my non twisted sisters;
one hailed from Woodbury, New Jersey

and the younger staked out
modest digs within Bend, Oregon,
meanwhile thee grim reaper
did patiently soon scythe
heading back to his old curiosity shop,
a rather bleak house, I now conclude.
Fore score minus xv orbitz ago
from being centenarian
strong contractions forced me
to pass thru ******,
buck naked bare lady,
I ranked as only grandson sharing
same surname as Aaron,
(mine paternal grandfather)
me the sole heir –
foreshortened to Sol Aire

evinced scrawniness then (as shown
via ultrasound), which at birth
became crystal clear,
unbeknownst to parents
obsessive hidden compulsive predilection
pronounced with social anxiety affliction
manifested later in life,
whose mental health of mine,
would find me at sea
schooled in counting fish,

where I did flounder with anguish,
nevertheless as newborn human being,
the propensity with panic attacks
a decade plus years in future
whereat yours truly
would wallow in despair
meanwhile bundled cuteness
ranked as excelsior,
though said infant
extremely agitated and fussy,

I possessed unusual fear
witnessed in scrunched
and furrowed brow
slightly resembled
quirky pissant outlier
tipping the scales
courtesy old fashioned
analog needled gear
greater or lesser
than seven pounds

(minus or plus a few ounces)
with a mass of
(the following feature fabricated)
dread fully locked hair,
otherwise a gangly sack
of many lovely bones,
whereat obstetricians
could not help themselves but jeer
thus upon exiting
birth canal found

yours truly anxiously twirling loose
***** follicular fibers according
to medical records prevaricated,
courtesy poetic character sketch,
whose trademark embellishment
endemic beginning to end of poem,
(your job dear reader
to distinguish fact from fiction)
reasonable rhyme now resumes
along current frayed thread

stitching baby me finding
strands of hair wrapped around fingers
surmising in retrospect, I felt bored
without access to world wide web
infant versus aging baby boomer
expressed at early stage individuality,
and nonestablishmentarian stance
sporting knotty harried styled
swiftly tailored quasi/pseudo dreadlocks,
gave Medusa a run for her money

(before they were in vogue)
tough as hemp cord
an anomaly, which
no app could compare,
boot nonetheless highly adored
and valued more than fine spun gold
resembling inimitable
indestructible filaments,
when taut could lift
off the ground a board

dill low, which no reference
manual could address
even topnotch experts
queried, could not explain
outrageous constituent rare
peculiarity the likes
never seen before,
though still insured,
a novel boot nada
so critical freak

of nature ma lord
hirsute component
partitioned in a triple tier moored
substantial pressure upon noggin,
entwining, looping, spilling somehow
interweaving insync with umbilical cord
into a mass of whirled
wide webbed wear suitable for
four seasons, which bamboozled,
grew like Kudzu

into an immense
globular mass galore
'bout the size of Rhode
Island) after one year ****
more, and wove in part
from stem cell threads, nor
ceased proliferating
after birth placenta
accrued intact and
immediately put in cold store

room, a by very peculiar product
tinged with strands
of strawberry blond hair
evoking how lioness would roar
cocooning, contriving, and conveying
this tiny dude into self concocted
hermetically sealed giant spore
miniature mummy, who without doubt
looked like a lady
bug hide entombment

able to survive thermonuclear war
as a minor subsequent repercussion
the downy side understood,
impenetrable forest
filched countless growing years,
without jesting, when
figurative messed hair em scare em
bedlam reigned as a supreme nest
sans shrieking obsessed
invisible hoodlums

broke free their electric kool
aid acid test
from maximum security solitary
confinement investment
for naught busting andirons
weighing down with reinforced
steel trap door cladding
didst not bar
compulsive banshee
like imps of thee pervert,

but merely slow down
minuscule limbs
emulated a hitchhiker thumb
upon will could assume
Alaska Bull Worm sized Albatross
shaped anchorage) unsinkable (short
term) screaming, rebelling, quaking,
atomic sized banshee beastie boys,
et cetera with fiery zest.
134 · Jul 2024
Bank rolled by billionaires
No matter Tuesday, November 5, 2024
still one hundred and eight days away,
(thank you Julian Date Calendar -
FOR LEAP YEARS ONLY),
I believe a foregone conclusion
that Donald Trump will win
based on the pathetic debate performance
between Joseph Robinette Biden Junior,
and Donald John Trump
in tandem with the stellar performance
of the latter at the Republican National Convention,
which appeared to surpass great expectations,
a gut reaction, cuz I could not stomach watching
the main star and near future dictator.

I may view some or all of
The Democratic Convention
scheduled to be held August 19 to 22, 2024,
at the United Center in Chicago, Illinois,
and by tradition, because the Democratic Party
currently holds the White House,
said convention will be conducted
after the 2024 Republican National Convention,
which was held from July 15 to 18, 2024.
Nevertheless, yours truly
will not betray his political party loyalty
to cast his vote for the former named candidate
and simultaneously brace himself emotionally
drafting gofundme site with catchy slogan
and image showing tin cup hand
for sudden homelessness
of myself and the missus,
the result of social security disability,
AETNA ADVANTRA MEDICARE,
and Medicaid being axed, gutted, slashed, et cetera
as well as many other socially progressive programs
unless this gassy, generic, gifted, and goofy guy
experiences an unexpected windfall.

Actually... another alternative exists
videre licet despite the admission,
I don't really feel ready to die,
and the spouse would **** me
if she finds out one bumbling,
doodling, fiddling, hemming
and hawing, jump/kick starting wordsmith
would dare leave, whereby
she would lack
her figurative rock of Gibraltar.

The idea to emigrate to Canada,
or just drive until reaching north
of the border dividing line much
more appealing, but no family or
friends linkedin to my network,
nor, cuz this solitudinarian can
call on nobody except an elder
sister living in Woodbury, New
Jersey, or a younger sibling (a
veritable globe trotter), she and
her husband call Bend, Oregon
their mostly permanent residence.

Yeah, I attest to be all talk and no action
envisioning myself made of stouter stuff
with the help of powder milk biscuits,
which gave me the courage
to acquire superhuman powers
which allows, enables, and provide
a guise to bedazzle readers
with my brilliance.

No other particular marketable skill can I avail
long story short mental health issues sabotaged
healthy development of body, mind, and spirit
evinced with difficulty similarly as challenging
as blind double amputee person learning Braille
when segueing from childhood's end to adolescence
experiencing puberty found me
fraught with emotional travail
vivid remembrance of things past

taking piano lessons
at the house Missus Eva Youngblood,
where her daughter Barbara taught
courtesy John Thompson's
Modern Course for the Piano -
numerous lesson books
helped yours truly learn
how to tickle the ivory keys
at some point, I succumbed
to severe grievous state
collapsed in a heap
on the floor and softly wailed
lamentably plaintively sobbing
pausing between weeping
to ******* “I cannot live any more,”
or some such sentiment.

Ted Goldberg, a psychiatrist
at Collegeville Counseling
did his level best to draw out
responses from a little boy
who remained mute,
and said degreed professional resorted
to play one or more popular board games
which choice of activity
elicited non verbal reaction,
and needless to say this approach
slowly but surely gradually
found with the aid of melirill -
(thioridazine HCl) an anti-psychotic medication
in the phenothiazine class
used to treat psychotic disorders
such as schizophrenia and elavil -
medication used to treat depression.
Amitriptyline belongs to a class
of drugs known as tricyclic antidepressants.

Both prescription medications eventually
bore figurative fruit,
and coaxed my tongue to wag.

Anorexia nervosa got nipped in the bud
before I literally starved to death,
totally undermining mental, physical,
and spiritual well being
presenting impossible mission
for this then seventh grade student
assigned to section 7B1
(if memory serves me correctly)
to assimilate lecture material,
thus scoring the lowest marks
with flying colors
(such as black, blue, and red),
and getting promoted

by the skin of my teeth,
with mine ancient history
adding up to being
a deplorable basket case
thru the remaining years I attended
Methacton Junior/Senior High School
actually at some arbitrary petticoat juncture
I gave up exerting one iota of intelligence
and adopted apathy, and honestly failed
at receiving an education,
cuz yours truly occupied a desk,
but never uttered a peep,
thus succeeded (as inscribed
on my curriculum vitae)
Matthew Scott Harris
did an exemplary job
taking up space and time.
and waxing poetic lip schtick adorned with moustaches

Swarthy, spooky, scary carved
pumpkin faces thickly materialized
out of thin air
as Halloween holiday loomed near
yes... just an innocently naive fickle kid,
who easily did scare,
attended Henry Kline
for 'most every year

elementary grade school
no matter I abided every rule
and colored within every line
turquoise blue favorite jewel
blackening every other tooth
affixing moustache, sideburns,
and beard upon every face kooky rule.

Nor, never stepped on sidewalk crack
to break mother's back
wonder who believes
such poppycock alas and alack
I haint superstitious
nonetheless steer clear of any black
cat, nor walking under any ladder,
especially on Friday thirteenth.

Fear made ordinarily wavy hair
poker straight stand on end
not a muscle I would bend
unfamiliar sounds, smells, and sights
tingling sensation along small hairs
spine - shiver me timbers would send
courtesy paranormal phenomena
this then lad could not comprehend.

To this day, no ghost of chance
finds your truly daring to partake of seance
essentially scaredy cat soiling mine
spongebob squarepants
skittish regarding supernatural realm
best play with Lincoln logs or tinker toys.

Dog bless those who search out
eerie sound and/or sight
or reed macabre genre
upon dark and stormy night
kudos to those talented
gifted, blessed... to write
blood screaming horror
stories, where adrenaline
spurs one to take flight

unwittingly, unquestionably,
unknowingly, unforgettably... right
into path of haunting spectre badlands
housing ghouls, ghouls, sprite
full hobgoblins spellbinding sight

lurk dark shadows at edge of night
shapeshifting costumed masquerade
zealously, thrillingly, blindly
looming larger in height
lumbering, lingering right

before me scenting how afraid...
desperado whose becomes white
as an albino - blood ******* vampire
sharp as razor fangs bared ready to bite

into tender warm succulent flesh
i.e. cannibal's delight,
yet try as I might
feeble literary effort ne'er achieved
to concoct witch's brew where fright
induces blood curdling scream,

thus much prefer to pen lame
lines, where skeletons make no bones
red dully underpaid gig employees game
to pocket chump change
with absolute zero intent to maim,
thus unlikely to devour thyself
or provide selfie before asking name

of groveling, mumbling, sniveling... alien,
a Dylanesque rolling stone
harkening from outer
limits of twilight zone
accursed series of unfortunate events

spirited as token "scapegoat"
penniless and unable to phone
home, a stranded extraterrestrial,
whose familiar turf grown
dragons holed in their dungeons.
134 · Nov 2020
Damsel in distress
Heartbroken lass bereft of eminent beau
papa doth vicariously experience her
(mine daughter's) grievous woe.

Unfair a budding promising relationship nought
going to incorporate wedded bliss,
when for all the world
the strong humble lad
absconded to Puerto Rican his homeland.

Thus pained University
of Pennsylvania alumna
("star student") since grade one
at Belmont Hills Elementary
whose high school alma mater
i.e. Harriton High School,
now glum Oakland California transplant.

I (biological father),
who helped beget offspring
writhes with agony,
cuz he and the missus
sowed wild oats
during prime time,
when irresistible call of the wild
overtook wisdom to shuck contraceptive
yielding the miracle of life.

Parenthood never ended
just because declaration of independence
and autonomy witnessed natural propensity
for progeny to reliant become on self
forced shoulder living expense
no only for herself,
but deux darling
tortoiseshell dappled

five month old kittens
most certainly a constant reminder,
when she and he "two peas in a pod"
shared so many college campus memories,
whereby appearances hinted
and predicted a shared destiny
between two love birds.

An abrupt cleavage
rent asunder never witnessing
mutual graceful dotage
figuratively saddled once ebullient psyche
unnecessarily bogged our engineering minded lady
with cumbersome equipage
after they spent precious
young adulthood years together

emulating how married couple live, I gauge
such scenario, cuz talk of wedding bells
filled the (telephonic) airwaves,
whereby yours truly feeling blessed
potential prodigal son in law
his earning hand over fist big bucks
employed at Silicon Valley company
geared toward marketing fitness application.

Unsure how said high achiever
bolstered with you go girl refrain,
(who ofttimes communicated with Zayda,
i.e. his demise a crushing sorrow),
which inevitable prolonged decline

sundered special rapport
since more'n threescore
Earth orbits around the sun
papa acquired mechanical engineer degree
working within Aerospace Division
at General Electric.

Impossible mission not to care
despite mein kampf punctuated
with mine wanderlust flair
marital covenant garden variety
wordsmith did greatly impair
triggering hostility within mine humble lair
adulterer letter forcibly donned as outerwear.
and despite remote chance
to channel small medium at large
metamorphosis I may witness
analogous to caterpillar
will transform me into a butterfly
otherwise Norwegian bachelor (batch chiller)
farmer will simply plow along
taking a stab writing "FAKE" horror thriller
airing available on Netflix starring
ghost of Phyllis Diller
stand up comedienne killer
brought down haunted/crowded house

witch sea hunt accompanied
theme song referencing Argonaut tiller
Greenwich Village location Barney Miller
lite precinct brewed fare of corpse
unearthed dead comedy duo Meara and Stiller
with surreal stalking candy corn canes
resilient blades of  rototiller
as bon appétit gnashing
gobbledygook filler
masterpiece yours truly created verisimilar
to literary endeavor of poet laureate.

Ice scream aghast with
hair raising blood curdling shriek,
cuz the dearth of satisfactory
****** FIOS shows bleak
willingly readying doppelganger
of mine to jump into polluted creek,
thus as death defying stunt,
I bury alive yours truly
except his sharp pointed beak
exhuming him after rotted

flesh doth reek
perfectly tricked out
for Halloween treat
masking trademark matted long haired
strongly resembling pencil necked geek
October thirty first when freak
most often makes his appearance
every other time of year
adopting nom de plume
alias Gadshill name of kid sister's

Bend, Oregon abode
(In Shakespeare's Henry IV
the scene of Falstaff's robberies) gadabout
versus me qualified poetaster
hood doth sneak
feigning antonym anthem of meek
oh my dog, I lyft hind
uber leg to take leak
hoop fully haint nobody dares peak
urinate kidding ma bladder weak.

I long since waved
channel surfing adieu
much prefer silence
meditating under blue
skies peering into
infinite space nary a clue
intellectual conversation many disvalue
perched edge of seat and hunched over
how riveting story doth ensue
ah... time for commercial break

culinary wizard abracadabra
whips up fondue
easy as pie (are squared)
with consistency of glue
methinks Elmer stole patent,
cuz secret formula Hebrew
what with identical hue
as aforementioned adhesive liquid
doubling up to keep igloo
air tight even against

global warming, anyway would Jew...
aye betcha already knew
yes believe Yahweh endowed Semites
like me with high ike kue
of course after dumping
a load (reed) I feel sue
per ream intelligence dumbed down
(mine), especially after using loo
naturally decrease smarts
stings like poisonous

scorpion size of Eee mouse,
which aforementioned papa's
poetic poppycock non issue
saturating plethora home entertainment
most people overvalue
linkedin - shoot all stemming from
"idiot box" I rarely view
even when supposed
best picture show over yours truly
silently exhales whew!
134 · Mar 2022
Untitled
Implementing chops to acquire self survival

speculative fictional account
courtesy yours truly interpretation
impossible mission to surmount
tooling topographic factors,
solving quadratic equations,
rubik's cube generally tantamount.

Perchance yar juiced
a young man or woman
Aladdin on cusp of securing lass
maybe born, bread and raised
in the city that never sleeps
and as loyal returning native son
or daughter taking a tram
to enjoy tasty repast
with widowed momma,
cuz ever since da papa passed away....
a futile attempt made to fill that void

awash with more'n than half a century
of wedded bliss,
whereat purposelessness pervasive
regarding surviving mother,
who feigns happiness, regales others
with showers of affection,
and remains active feeding kith and kin
her chosen avocation
comprising, striving and succeeding
to be adept within the culinary arts

thru self taught trials and errors
of brave taste testers,
(which unwitting guinea pigs ought
to get medal of honor for bravery),
though her exemplary cooking reputation
exceeds five star Michelin rating
through meticulous and
exacting measured ingredients,
she glides within the kitchen
howsoever upon one occasion,

a fork and spoon slipped to the floor,
which inexplicable gravitational
alchemical phenomena
fused separate pieces of cutlery
into finely wrought eating implement
whereupon a dead reckoning,
takes shape, that "mum"
might be in mortal danger
from inconspicuous cooking tool,
whence ya stop SnapChat tin

and shutterfly as greased BuzzFeed
lding lightning twittering
like a bat out of hell -
ya swoop down
smash mouth Facebook first
presaging a fatality visiting
upon the head of mum
(christened name Chris Anne Thumb,
the last appended word linked
with her diminutive size),

who intently engrossed,
keenly self absorbed,
and rapt attentive with tasks at hand
most likely oblivious
to potential safety dukes of hazzard
as a benevolent offspring temporarily
ye take instagram reprieve,
and utilize fancy footwork
(incorporating song with dance routine)
generating kickstarter tiktok fame

yanking attention and
re: turning to counterpoise
vis a vis match less laws of physics,
whereby toe tulle lee tubular
jump starter antics applied
to kindle hurly burly
gnarly melded flatware
serving sub bastion bach up
(analogous to state of the art beet oven),
which upright pedal poised pose
quirky tool allows, provides
and enables pulley zing leverage.
I adopt dainty etiquette
when quenching thirst or dining
to buzzfeed growling beast
inside me tummy.

The missus requests obedience
raising both my little fingers in the air
upon taking beverage or repast to lips.

Additionally, she also requires I
(well healed husband who toes the line)
perform dance shuffle - think clog
feigning to trip over feet
as if yours truly quaffed to much grog
while balancing atop log.

Miss iz manners re: lee the spouse
sets prime example being lady like,
what with her belching and snorting
of course with mouthful of food
no surprise she nurtured impolite brood
raised on learning language crude

even this Geico caveman exhibits
less coarse attitude,
he likens himself to subdued dude
trying his darnedest (golly gee)
to avoid family feud

general behavior hashtagged as rude
linkedin with antics qualified as lewd
encouraged nsync while
slurping or masticating in the ****,
whereby other body sounds made
unsuitable for strait laced and *****

folks who don't take a fancy hearing
so called uncouth soundclouds exude
out body orifices considered foul,
inapropos and extremely lewd
when unless quarantined in solitude.

One upside of COVID-19
postprandial aural emanations
(all time favorite flatulence)
knows no outward bounds
unless colorectal explosions
register highest magnitude

when measured in concert
with handy dandy
blues clues rattle seismometer
and register courtesy
Richter Scale and the Mercalli Scale
direction and intensity of earthquakes.

Upon experiencing aforementioned prime mate
i.e. the bellowing gal offering herself as ahem
(pardon the double entendre) master bait,
I knew from the get go
Tex-Mex Connection

in North Wales, Pennsylvania
where we shared our first date
(outsize bean burritos)
I tooted my own horn,
she unwittingly got me into checkmate,
just for that her fate got sealed,

when our respective gametes
(ova and ***** cells respectively)
new life we did miraculously create
the first of two female offspring
would become housed in utero
and come to resemble

a spheroid somewhat oblate
even now unnamed counterpart,
(and partner in crime) still swell person
hook hood benefit to lose some weight,
cuz... well adipose freight
quite ample around equator.
Once again, yours truly
dishes out his regular dose
of literary gobbledygook
even Count Dracula
would not even bat an eye
nor give me his evil curse,
butta I avoid tempting him
courtesy fanged hook or crook
(albeit harmless) look
regarding feeble effort I undertook.

Don't forget hour hands
of clocks spring forward
sixty minutes 2:00 AM
in Pennsylvania and other states
bracketed within eastern
Eastern Standard Time
on Sunday March thirteenth!

Yes roundabout third eye blind -
doggone (con seeded)
melon collie month every year,
one garden variety ***
(inconvenienced truthfully)
precariously balanced
while tethered to Earth hoop fully
explains himself, hence following mishmash
divulged courtesy unnamed generic chum
purposelessly manipulating
space/time continuum hold over.

About 107 three hundred sixty five day  
increments elapsed since
United States adopted
Standard Time Act of March 19, 1918
confirmed existing
standard time zone system
and set summer DST
to begin on March 31, 1918
(reverting October 27).

Rat a tat tat doth lightly drum
upon mine sixty plus shades of gray matter
i.e., a sensation of jet lag
(with earthling out of balance -
an inconvenient truth)
as if aboard Herbert George Wells,
time machine – and trapped
within The War of the Worlds
impossible mission to escape
at warp speed from
this horrid station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling ticked off and glum
in no mood to craft reasonable rhyme,

nor be leer re: cull (lyrical)
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits
sin tide, and express mood
as picky hewn *** hum
fortunate rising son, this chronological
seismic shift nada wide, ah assume
nonetheless, mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics

comb pluck hated off jangling
black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and boring
into quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement
for emergency convoy,
when pitched to and fro
hither and yon from
sea to figurative shining sea.

Graham ma mother earth glum
where live yik yak wired vanguard
trulia tried optimism to hum
nonetheless, swallowed down
reprising Tom Wolfe
("O Rotten Gotham — Sliding Down
into the Behavioral Sink")
her cremated inert ashes boxed
for more'n eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum

bling bloviation, once worth
matchless peerage, now pitched numb
lee into morass
of temporary confusion, where plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart pilot ***
man strait ting and bickering
with Lilliputians slum
bring within islets of langerhans

defiantly thumb nose,
where body, mind and soul
weeknd strength (viz a bully did cower)
hence mister clock,
who got hijacked
3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax and abdomen
diminishing in power

wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis
space/time continuum did devour.

Black hole (sun) event horizon indeed
kept lock step as das joint mill hoard
sucker punched the band
(re: oh speed) wagon of father time,
who riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic energizer bunny
fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans
toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.
I recall father, (now behold
at near ninety years old - maintains stronghold
on life, cuz born of sturdy mettle -
rumor claims bullion – ne'er did buckle nar fold
meaning bull + lion rolled
together and processed

April 9th, nineteen twenty nine),
fortune teller foretold
envious longevity, perhaps
just shy of eternity
older than anyone polled
occasionally got a bit

short tempered as patriarch
( ~6'2” ~ 200 lbs at prime)
over any five members of Harris household
with me, and timid, meek,
and fawning did scold,
and mother, (who passed away

after completing seventy plus orbits, all told,
sans November 13th, nineteen thirty five),
no matter both parents (more mom)
did abhor applying stronghold
tactics vis a vis corporal punishment,
though the late Harriet Harris, not so gold

din as totally carefree disciplinarian
confessed many moons ex post facto lost hold
of her appreciable tolerance,
than quickly crumbled like broken scaffold
after she spanked this monkey upon bony posterior
(an endearment, but NOT spanking

ever since mama did withhold
though kept pet name, which
ideally suited me as a little boy),
both her hands went limp and cold
apology immediately iterated,
cuz she felt mortified, and sold

reparation with self restraint
against further instances tubby brazenly bold
possibly contributed,
fostered, and inculcated mold
ding mine shy characteristic.

Me, this twangy nasal kid
(courtesy of split uvula we did
discover rather a speech pathologist
six grade minor congenital defect

i.e., submucous cleft palate), aforesaid
I experienced interminable
relentlessly psyche burning acrid
tormenting, teasing, and talking funny

this vulnerability compounded amid
my undersized and socially withdrawn demeanor
whereby every day akin getting scorched
by some "NON FAKE" ironclad grid!
outcome of 2020 presidential election announced

Polling places slated to open seven o'clock
in the morning November third two thousand twenty
heightened tensions will strain patience
to breaking point concerning
extreme anticipation common joe experiences
(biden his/her time)
regarding which candidate trumpeted
as de facto commander in chief of United States.

Carpe diem the echoing refrain
heard and seen dispensed and broadcast
across telecommunications medium
cuz the very survival of democracy at stake
ruthless political machinations employed
to seize inalienable codified rights
couched within Declaration of Independence

and Constitution, written ethos, dogma, credo...
compiling aggregate of fundamental principles
or established precedents that constitute
legal basis of a polity, organisation
or other type of entity and commonly
determine how entity governed.

Understanding North American government
inextricably found yours truly agape
when chance occurrence brought hefty tome
into self assigned reading material
which storied author David McCullough
wrote engrossing John Adams biography
I read aloud with measured deliberateness
clearly enunciating each syllable of every word

despite runaway enthusiasm
to acquire historical premise
whereby original thirteen colonies
teetered on brink of immediate collapse
soon after majority representatives
swore fealty among themselves
despite ragtag soldiers
easily overwhelmed courtesy
fighting force of British Empire.

As a staunch affiliate of democratic party,
one veritable common joe
just biding his time,
I trumpet how crass
deleterious, egregious, fractious...
usurpation of power
jackknifed, kickstarted and linked

endemic flood (gushing) hatred
malicious, nefarious, opprobrious putrescence
laid down at the feet
upholding seventy five inches
of corpulent doughy flesh
regarding one conceited, haughty, and obstreperous
politician orchestrating machiavellian leitmotif.

Mark my words, that bull headed incumbent
will clamor, foment, incite, loose chaos
if Democratic candidate garners more votes
at the ballot box nsync with absentee citizens
casting their lot with the worser of two evils
otherwise put head between legs,
and kiss tuckus goodbye,
cuz hell in a handbasket looms on horizon.
gamesome, chucklesome, bothersome,
and awesome modest fellow)...
does not deliberately court immortalization,
and wonders what criteria confer elevation,
exaltation, glorification, hero worship,
idolization, veneration, or worship.

I go about a daily humdrum routine
me, a twenty first century baby boomer,
who considers himself passé
and senses with sensibility
he would have been more at home
during the early nineteen hundreds.

At threescore and six years
under my out of this world Kuiper belt,
this wannabe joker here makes the most
of figurative cards I got dealt
despite most every day of my life felt
accursed with mental health issues,
stunted physical growth,
and a split uvula - submucous cleft palate
on very rare occasions, I
(once a slip of a lad
and light as a feather)
got lifted off the ground

and tossed in air by classmates
momentarily suspended as a Great Dane helt
in high regard remembering those happy days
analogous to Reelin’ In the Years
being like a little fish in a big pond
poignant adventures
going out with weathered mariners
actually Norwegian bachelor farmers
tricked out ****** thru and thru
prematurely ******* with joie de vivre
while whipping the rod
hoping hook, line and sinker snags jacksmelt.

Nothing about my person screams
shine the kleiglights (an intense carbon arc lamp,
especially used in filmmaking) on me,
one foo fighting fool on the hill nowhere man,
who hopes to be reincarnated into the ideal of
acuity, bankability, creativity, divinity, ethicality,
fidelity, generosity, humility, integrity, jocundity,
knowledgeability, likability, magnanimity, nobility,
originality, perspicacity, luck quiddity, respectability,
sagacity, tranquility, unconventionality,
versatility, and winnability.

Now just let me get these grubby hands
on well preserved brains of freshly deceased,
and tinker ala Victor Frankenstein.

Yes quite a tall order,
but methinks I can master
genetic engineering (with both eyes closed -
and both hands tied behind my back),
and thwart (once and for all)
the nasty demise of mortality
and promise fail safe solution
to vanquish what people used to consider
the quaint inevitable and unavoidable
courtesy visit by the grim reaper -

depicted as wearing a dark hooded cloak
and wielding a scythe
also known as Hel, Thanatos -
formerly known as Azrael,
and better known as the Grim Reaper
the personification, embodiment,
and spirit of Death
(known throughout the cosmos
for appearing soon after someone died
to deliver their soul to the afterlife),

Psychopomp, or Shinigami
 "la Parca" ("The Robe"), -
a common term for the personification
of death across Latin America
forcing humanity to rethink and reboot
the concept of dying and meeting the maker
essentially making process of death obsolete
unleashing in this lifetime of mine
the solution to upend
the demise of corporeal entity

plus doing away with attendant
emotional and financial toll
final expense insurance policies generate -
whereby unabated longevity
no longer a worry of the past,
but another padding to "nest egg"
recouping set aside monies
to cover the costs incurred
by the death of a loved one,
whether that person

gets buried in a cemetery or cremated
to be become forever vanquished
courtesy creating a untapped market for
twenty blank nth century when speciality
to become a B certified and verified by B Lab
of social and environmental
performance, transparency, and accountability,
which demand to churn out
one after another doctors
named Victor Frankenstein

bringing to life "creature", "fiend",
"spectre", "dæmon", "wretch",
"devil", "thing", "being", and "ogre,"
which high paying specialists
must meet high standards,
whereby the newly hatched mad scientist
receives an bone a fide education
of corpse, whose appreciation acknowledged
by the grateful dead souls
their learning involves combining,

involving artificial intelligence,
reproductive biology and robotics
discovering solutions to synthesize
the best western qualities
and as a dissertation
presenting the most poignant
tragicomic live unrehearsed drama
showcasing the denouement of humanity
trumpeting **** sapiens
bumbling, fumbling, and tabling

after teasing out the box of Pandora
mysteries of development
building neural network describing
linkedin thinking computer systems
deoxyribonucleic acid, and branches
of engineering and computer science
that involve the conception, design,
manufacture and operation of robots
unwittingly as a cautionary tale
whereat smart machines outwit

and then control their creators
with decency, humanity, leniency....
no, not spelling the gloom and doom
of man/womankind,
but rather capitalists freed from labor boon
yet silver lining allows, enables, and provides
old fashioned option to party hardy,
or read all the books in the world
which upside being that human beings
can alway choose exit - stage door left

videre licet euthanasia (voluntary
and pain free suicide),
returning to the closed feedback loop
molecules and atoms
constituting and declaring
each unique personhood
ready and willing to give up the ghost
and buzzfeeding, jump/kick starting
and replenishing the biosphere.
I haint no spring chicken,
("Buk buk buk buk ba-gawk!")
but in Summer re:
long in tooth sexagenarian
nostalgic for the following imagery
evoked yesterday with very little effort
(aside from sweat of my brow – just existing)
June twenty second hazy, hot, and humid
at least here within the environs -
of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
tooth thousand and twenty four,
the air analogous to a steam bath outside,
though such insight
strictly predicated on meteorologist
as seen on the flat screen.

Now before scrolling down
lemme forewarn you of dire prediction
reading about how yours truly
doth suspire for Old Man Winter
returning with a vengeance
delivering a white July Fourth, Halloween,
Thanksgiving, Christmas,
Groundhog Day, Saint Patrick's Day...
yours truly desiring experiencing
becoming comfortably numb,
after envisioning, invoking
then summoning forth cold spell.

Should deep freeze rain (reign)
crystalline precipitation pure as the driven snow
blanketing large swaths of webbed wide world
wreaking havoc courtesy
unparalleled blizzard conditions,
would stump and confound earth scientists
suddenly finding themselves pensively *******
subsequently becoming overnight skeptics
and staunch Republicans to boot - argh,
who grudgingly, hesitatingly scrap

what seemed to be
irrefutable air tight evidence
with reams of data proving global warming
and side with deniers –
mostly non Democrats
courtesy artificial intelligence
hinting at inexplicable
significant ice age approaching,
barreling, and coming fast as a freight train
virtual models prognostication

would show Polar Vortex
engulfing the entire planet
clamping down hard
much of the United States
likely a couple short months in the future,
forecasting temperatures to register absolute zero
taxing the electric grids to heat lovely bones
chilling, freezing, immobiling civilization, whereby
government agencies regularly issuing
permanent code blue declarations,

which teeth chattering cold scenario
impossible mission to imagine or avoid
with wind chill factors in triple digits
Jack Frost overstayed courtesy welcome,
when climate controlled central heater
allows, enables and provides
man/woman made respite hooray,
apartment cozy as a poetry nook,
whereby yours truly his head he doth lay
(under crocheted blanket)

quickly slipping into deep sleep;
the missus (madre) and her padre
(me) taking a siesta until spring
in my dream I take treadway
from such new zzz land
to Piccadilly Circus, London,
welcoming me to early twentieth century
balmy weather all year round
place named Willoughby, where one
unnecessary to get bundled

and wrapped up –
like a mummy dearest  
kvetching in vain at frigid forecast oy vey,
where surveillance cameras take x-ray
of suspicious character - Not Me,
while actually in reality
outside apartment B44
one after another Nor'easter
howls like bajillion banshees
vents wind chill factor

as temperature dips
into low double digits as high,
and subzero higher negative number as a low,
I summon (with a puff) fire breathing
friendly quasi magic dragon,
an acceptable and laughable substitute
calls for none other than Barney
purple anthropomorphic
Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur.

Though a non-smoker of cigarettes,
I discover pleasure slowly puffing
on my pipe, and chose one at random
from among the collection
made of briar wood, meerschaum,
corncob, pear-wood, rose-wood or clay  
listening to crackling flickering hearth,
yours truly snuggling
(curled up in a little ball)
with favorite reading material
close proximity warming,
thawing, and quelling lovely bones.

For no particular rhyme nor reason
I lapse into a reverie
and hear the brutal and nasty wind
plaintively howling the song Molly Malone
her lilting voice distinctly heard
Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

Meanwhile atavistic visitations hover
after hypnotizing mindscape
of twenty first century **** sapien
as flashback visions of proto humans
commingling with competing
short and nasty brutes
brushes within subconscious
purring, mew zing catacombs
jump/kick starting, harkening,
dawning lion eyes zing

thawing ordinarily dormant memories,
where forebears alive bajillion years ago
battle him of the republic
thumping their chests
and uttering primal sounds
against vastly outnumbered predators,
who make mincemeat of weakest warbler
similar to contemporary beastie boy punk bands
survival of the fittest
linkedin to anonymous

Monkey's Uncle recherché representatives
toehold barely latched
precarious niche easily
activated punctuated equilibrium evolutionary quirk
imperceptibly bumped uglies
begot robust progeny
offspring expanding comfort zones
penumbra expanding edge of night
dark shadows receding further
outer limits of twilight zone

phantasmagoric shifting shapes (hint...
think Plato's Republic in general –
and Allegory of the Caves in particular -
synonymous with Allegory of the Metals)
alluring, beckoning, daring...
establishing, foraging, growing...
harvesting, invoking, jabbering
kowtowing, livingsocial,
Ashley Madison matchmaking tinder (ha)...

now lemme zip forward
back to the future
bajillion years somewhere in time circa 1970's
British comedy troupe
nudge nudge wink wink,
say no more
know what I mean courtesy
Monty Python's Flying Circus
rollicking humorous sketches
oft times tackling primal urges
proto humans initially verbally grunted,

where guffawing laughter
rewarded survivalist basic instinct
temporarily staving rabid
quivering premonitions outside
creature comfort boundaries,
whereby Geico Caveman
will remain till... dis ember
by George thoroughly good appetizer,
viz good chilled Wren plus
Pheasant under glass
burns away hunger pangs.
this Xmas eve day 2023

After a top secret clandestine conclave,
one or more sans eight Reindeer forsake
played cow word, and spelt, spilt, spoilt,
et cetera doe fill full heartbreak,
which Santa Claus immediately claimed
to be “FAKE” and accused (Jake)
i.e. Jacob Marley hook concocted game over,
viz every doe done
possibly really espy
from Charles Dickens renown

“A Christmas Carol”
comprised of many undercurrents,
asper what might appear as placid lake
which proclamation, he immediately
alluded, directed, reputed Putin to make,
which Russian leader
fed rumor mill to rattle and quake
an entablature, fixture,
signature je ne sais quoi linch pin,
which quintessential, prominent,

off limits agitation didst slake
thirst of said tyrannical
uber Voldemort, who glowed
(like the nose of Rudolph), and cherished
folklore idolized love,
would be in seventh heaven to take
credit, which resignation
could pronounce grief
and keep children ah wake

across the world wide web
an a palling gloomy dark
shadow (analogous to
edge of night) falls heavy
across the entire glommed globe,
where even the hark
cunning angels experience a mark
kid lee downcast misery
even affecting plants,
whereat trees slumped over in every park
and nary a solution
to tempt motley crue to avoid such stark

action, but spat out a litany of grievances
unseemly behavior not anew,
but ongoing (quite a shock to learn of caribou
in upper management) via prurient axe,
possibly commingling with questionable emu
but, no matter, these voiced
fur row shuss transgressions soon flew
and spread like wildfire,
whence this virtuous
claque seemed to be a glue
me pack of sordid, revolting,

traversing engaging with elves hoo
fing Alabaster Evergreen, Pepper Minstix,
Shinny Upatree...holy Jew
Peter, thee names
all these centuries sin hissed stir
opprobrious lurid tabloid fodder,
nobody suspected, nor knew,
now nothing could be done except
to arrange an emergency session
with head honchos possibly,
they exchanged tidbits
while utilizing the loo

fast forward after a slapdash
public relations forum opted to arraign
every suspect, even
that oft spotted whooping Crane
(named Stephen) and, how in tarnation can
(or should) an adult explain
to their son or daughter,
that salacious behavior
cannot disappear via

Trump peon strategy to gain
say contrary facts, now this poet break
fast for a repast in the main
thenceforth, the December holiday
will be sober and plain
but taking peremptory measures
to block fireplace flue so no errant rein
deer gets brazen and seeks rapprochement
against immoral attain in vain.
as 2020 presidential election nearing
pleading joshing, and endearing...

The choice for commander in chief dum...
dum... dum... dum..
will winnow down, thus
political prognosticator pundits
no longer remain mum
between Donald John Trump,
whose second term win,
would find yours truly numb

versus Joseph Robinette Biden Junior
could infuse flickering
uneasiness among electorate
(quite a few skool
of hard knocks alum
including yours truly,
who attests surfing cyber seas
as seasoned beach ***

up until this moment
feeling rather glum
regarding fate of American democracy
fizzling, muckraking, and sputtering
linkedin with kickstarting,
snapchatting, and twittering
along ever so ** hum
awaiting fateful deliverance

as dueling banjos strum
meanwhile irritable bowel syndrome
nsync with nausea
bubbling, gurgling, quickening
within collective tum
no doubt alleviated chugging,
guzzling, and quaffing
countless bottles Bacardi ***.

Nothing less at stake than (an ill eagle
feebly clutching cherished symbols - regal
representing land of the free and
home of the brave
analogous to once buoyant seagull

encompassing United States)
metaphorical snooping Beagle
only finding peanuts after landing
discovery (of America) triggering extralegal
imbroglios, which courtesy...

Thank manifest destiny
wrought accursed land grab,
where survival of fittest (think militarily)
nonchalantly, insouciantly actually
quite aggressively did nab
great juicy fruited plain continental slab

...to the mountains to the prairies
to the oceans white with foam...
where indigenous people
once stood tall and proud
applying contrived accoutrements,
which implements rendered mortally to stab

invaders, hence convenient plug to jibjab,
(while sack religious lame chap
donning unisexual hijab)
whale within poetic license
to orca straight heady
i.e. think lame muck cab
bra (even garnering groan from

ghost of captain Ahab)
denouncing cheesy pun,
whereby I (Stuart Little best remain
as caged mouse
subjected to experimentation
within bore writ Tory lab.
Impossible mission, nonetheless
eschatological, diabolical, critical...
dire straits betokens armageddon.

Come Tuesday, November 3, 2020
mandatory voting obligation to oust
horrible malevolent commander in chief.

Spanish and English writing on border wall
bespeaks impending apocalyptic windfall
weapons of mass destruction concomitant ashfall
brinkmanship ticks doomsday clock, hence the call
muster civilians and military troops coup to marshall
tuckered bands overthrowing pathological
megalomaniac haint your
homegrown garden variety apprenticed screwball,

Née commandeer of human abuses free world oh God
this exclamation ******* yours truly house atheist
runs ruinously, reprehensibly, rampantly roughshod
scaring out bejesus within winkin blinkin and nod
land of powdermilk biscuits and raw bits promises
to become ground zero predicated boneheaded clod.

Atrocious, cantankerous, egregious,
grievous, ignominious... dispensing
most every venerated, ushered, touted,
sacred, revered, pronouncing
progressive amendments dead
on arrival blithely shredding to tatters

hard won reforms since Fred
Flintstone days of yore shelving
codied, ratified, sanctified... shed
jeweled important legislation,
plus Russian musk cows to wed
Putin on the ritz.

Blasphemous, cantankerous, deleterious...
execrable folly... doth seed
subsequently begetting and breed
anarchy, chaos, hell, plus helps
foment pernicious, ominous,
noxious, malodorous... misdeed

pitting one against another creed
internecine warfare, where liveried
troops don and trumpet
(auld) alternative energy
fighting gear powering, i.e. ac/dc freed
one or more ***** deed

done dirt cheap reducing at lightspeed,
the hard fought/won democratic
inalienable rights purportedly guaranteed
by United States constitution,
(though oft times bias, i.e. reed

anti semitism, charade, facade...) heed
trample equality, morality, universality...
making mockery (attested bleed
courtesy flagrant historical extant bigotry,
chicanery, depravity... greed).

Hence, I step off figurative soapbox
dodging any lobbed missiles or rocks
no surprise bullied by same jocks,
who tormented me during high school
probably tattooed, pierced, and bald of locks
unlike yours truly, he sports self
as aging pencil neck geek
wearing non matching shoes and socks.
A real hunter (and huntress), she stands five feet
and tips the scales at most one hundred pounds.

Despite looking like a little girl, her stock in trade
masks that diabolical mean mien streak evocation.

Said bipedal hominid creature haunts outer limits
of the twilight zone, where dark shadows hoover
along the edge of night spooking the missus who
turns white as a sheet temporarily immobilized.

Rumor circulates ghastly nightmarish & fiendish
creature, whose food intake subsists on liquid diet
of worms offers exemplary shoe-in character qua
zee ideal incarnation starring as lead actress within
popular television series Fear Thy Neighbor just
so occupies apartment adjacent where yours truly
and the missus live days of our lives as the world
wide web (planet earth) turns about 23.5 degrees
around an invisible axis analogously squished at
the poles courtesy hands of Jolly Green Giant -

It goes **...**...**, which roaring echoes across
the cosmic realm controlling marionette like all
the Beatle browed lonely people unbeknownst
to them their omnipotent viz master of puppets
actually a bonafide muttering mixed breed dog
named Pooch, one smart canine, whose training
at the Royal and Lovely Bow Wow Barks Place
where man's best friend of all sizes and stripes
enter the select school as newborn puppies, and
endure rigorous education become highly prized

well healed hounds with scents and sensibilities
to sniff out handy dandy blues clues linkedin to
sinister intimations secreted away within demonic
dogma exemplified courtesy alluring, captivating
aging demoiselle impersonating Goldilocks whose
faux façade as a young lass, when in truth babe in
beguiling beauty at heart a cold blooded killer dead
set and capable to shapeshift in blink of an eye into
curtly vile incarnate poised to strike at my woman,
who vows to go on the warpath after being falsely

accused of stealing packages and jewelry creating
an extremely untenable environment, and just wait
until property manager Kathleen Bergen gets wind
of vicious verbal vendettas vehemently lobbed at
mine counterpart, who feels threatened as does the
author of these words, i.e. the mister re:guy whose
guise of neutrality experiences smoldering bubbling
rage against unnamed antagonistic tenant violating
the restraining order of sorts imposed on brutality,
albeit nasty invectives precipitating severe threat

to our safety goading me to craft this plea for some
altruistic, fantastic, humanistic respondent to help
us secure a much more amenable place to live here
in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania predicated on
marginal rent since I and the missus solely rely on
my social security disability monthly allotment just
enough money to meet the cost of living expenses.
133 · Nov 2019
Untitled
Daylight savings ends... Sunday
I desperately clutched
(the Peanuts stuffed animal) Woodstock
to help me absorb shock.

What invisible agent
provocateur née ghost in the machine
sinister force hell bent
to rob me of every red cent,
whereby checking account
incurred major dent
(albeit figurative) required
yearly vehicular ownership event.

Unavoidable collision course
with money woes does frankly zap
proud owner of car will soon
find her/himself on penniless track
after salesperson (usually a man)
intones memorized commercial spiel,
and won't shut her/his yap
until quota of cars sold
guaranteeing bear hug wrap
courtesy company president
gifted bonus and vacation to escape,
(albeit temporarily) rat race trap.

Yours truly crafts (courtesy poetic license)
mine trademark prevaricated write
crowing, invoking, and lamenting malfunction
advertises, enunciates,
and intones game over
(by Tracy Lauren Marrow,
otherwise known as Iced-Tea),
whose claim to fame 1. rapper round rhymes;
2. fleet (truckload) of motorized
hot wheels (burning rubber)
quite a fiery sight;
3. check engine light advertisement
especially fluorescent hubcaps
that glows (like the
pulsating nose of Rudolph) at night.

Most recent experience (mine)
dealing with problematic
"check engine light" tsuris,
taught me helpful object lesson
after bringing our 2009 Hyundai Sonata
to Norm's Save Station
(earlier today 8/24th, 2021)
551 Gravel Pike, Collegeville, PA 19426,
which mechanic on duty
informed me that within Pennsylvania
said mechanical setback NEED NOT
be troubleshot if car driven less than
5000 miles per year.
I awoke early - now my body will sleep,
though thoughts rise like the Azores
of snuggling next to such an adorable atomic
bombshell of a beauty - boars
into my mind with
sonata fantasy syrup passing
overdrive way past taxing cores
sans crankshaft, pistons and tires viz,
the posted reo speedwagon
deaf fin knit lee unsafe

to open any passenger doors,
where speedometer manifold the limit
inxs of sixty nine miles per hour
as me heart...lures
me to your storybook
swiss chalet, and desire pours
like exhaust smoke awaiting consummation
of ******* - scores
that fills ma cerebral nooks and crannies
even if needing to take dee tours.

Pepé Le Pew
would feel honored if ye wanna reef fur
to myself as duh non tat hood
test tickle your teacher,
'thou noah way would eye ask four
you to pay me any see moo null wage
though my golden arched ethos
parallels that of a sage
homage to my delight with words
incur many a recipient to rage

against my swiftly tail lord
harried style of writing,
whence a reader needs to spend
much time flipping thru each page
of a dictionary or thesaurus,
which mental effort most
often does not engage,
who doth newt tip a fie
formality, thus experiencing virtual
and/or real fine companions

scanned or probably deleted
via tha eyes of another
to jump/kick start a friendship
with this nattering nabob
of nativity modest guy,
whose peculiar mien only his way
to greet with a literary "hi"
and nada Tubi put off per my
poetic manner well nigh
which petic penchant

with words I enjoy to apply
literary creativity and invite
brother/sisterhood a try
incorporating thought provoking
whimsical phrases flush
down into the behavioral sink
toil letting with his lukewarm
scottish matted trademark uber vapid wry
attempts at self mock re: puns - y?

I (d-u-y-e-e-r-93
at aye yo elle dot com) dunno!

Ah...the delirious, glorious,
and illustrious thought
whence never again
to cull demise and forever hibernate
feeling crushed by the egregious atrocious,
heinous, and nemesis, poor ring in of late
and thus this obituary epitaph of sorts
(no matter he will opt
for cremation) finds frenzied
strychnine, poison. or hemlock
appear savory to this pate

a chance pair of perusing eyes
may find this blurb unable to eke quate
this plea sprung from plethora
of purse son hull wreck - I rate
anxiety sweeps across
me mental nada so healthy state
which panic wrought from poverty
per his prone nouns mints uber
viz zit with undertaker tete a tete
of decades long bout

with a psyche riddled with angst
waiting for Godot - Beckett ting
this papa who **** courting
escape from the posse aye bill
misty eyed gorilla in the midst
of his own financial catastrophe,
he loathes resorting regarding pots ability
panhandling to help him get free
of pauperism, which haint no joke,
and finds scabrous reply

ample reason to still his life,
though ma lovely grown daughters
would suffer psychic injury,
and forever be psychologically
marred if aye did merrily
row me figurative boat
over the abyss prithee
and hope for instant death
of mine aura, charisma, and karma see?

Tis probably pointless n frivolous
to expect presume salvation
for this married sexagenarian male,
yet nothing this capitalist ventured....
could do no worse
as my psyche doth emulate dancing quale
for being nearly penniless
(in this cornucopia of good n plenti), and rail
ling against fate may bring derision
per an unpredictable scale
argh - doth hardly shed light
on my penurious travail
cuz thy current checking account
without cents nor sensibility
yammers x2c ******* gasps
with a death rattle does wail

boot juiced....maybe lady luck shall draw
the gaze of one philanthropic facebook peeper
(at least enough largesse
to stave off self destruction of spouse)
welcome mat would willingly
be laid out for grim reaper
to whisk me away -
so I kin become an eternal sleeper
though each surviving loved one,
would be inconsolable weeper.

so...with fingers and toes
clasped I fervently pray
this mongrel mutt means
no bone(r) to pick
only that natural animal desire
that libidinal longing
to cop you late need to slay
lest my lament will be oy vey
so please take me -
any which way
yay!

This blurb hunted and pecked out
from ma Perkiomen Valley
mike crow scope pick dell
(actually reef fur ring a computer
manufacturer asthma
***** fide ****** dank cell)
and spends his days of his life
(as the world turns)
where dark shadows lurk
along this edge of night
off in near distant hour alarm
summoning like a suburban church bell
from outer limits of twilight zone
this self anointed force
without raising cain quite able.
diploma acquired magna *** laude – double entendre

Xlv years elapsed since
I (former long haired pencil necked geek)
bid alma mater adieu,
the quietest kid, who never said boo
nobody discerned handy dandy blues clue
what yours truly thought,
cause figurative blanks he drew
remaining quiet as a Unitarian church mouse
never uttered a dog gone peep
extrovertedness he did eschew
even now two score and five years

after donning mortarboard and gown few
and far between words spoken
courtesy me, a former
Norwegian bachelor farmer
Lake Wobegon mine imaginary home
solely without friends grew
impulse to become linkedin
through schizoid personality disorder
offered solitary existence
alone within emotional wilderness hue

cannot imagine loneliness
(analogous to be bajillion miles
from nearest neighbor
while housed within igloo
mattered not whether gentile or Jew)
at tender growing up age obliviousness
suffused every cell constituting
Matthew Scott Harris
interestingly enough yours
truly quite outspoken

thru dimpled cheeky
adipose characterized kazoo
flatulence courtesy pop slop
incorporating secret ingredient
intended to ward off licentious
pheromone exuding females loo
sing hormonal secretions,
anyway said unmentioned
quite tolerant spouse,
(who remained faithfully

married enduring quarter century)
despite incessant husband
buttuck blasting - courtesy moo
ving odoriferous soundcloud waves
issuing *** him tote across avast spatial plane
resultant impact on par with nu
cull lee air fallout ooh
noxious human air pollution pu
tress hint smell as natural deterrent
to ****** reproduction, nevertheless
***** aligned (alphabetically

by athletic prowess) think queue
able, eager ready and willing to
increase chromosomal revenue
blaring semper fidelis
as lucky ***** pierces zona pellucida
wee acted ***** yule us,
when call of the wild – bald truth
found me to ******* and spew
sticky goo, and stopped reproducing
after daughter number two
me unbiased, but both offspring
attractive in their papa's view.
where Lassie free to run across petco junction

All across the webbed
wide esse Scott's landed wold
emerald green Trifolium
carpets harbor untold
burrows of tiny Leprechauns clover
(leaf) ways grant trifold
wishes if captured might
divulge *** of gold
at rainbow's end, and e'en mend
yar shoes, whence re: souled,

thence tread softly beneath subthreshold
of audibility, cuz unseen universe
hapts tubby microscopically rolled
with subterranean inhabited by Lilliputian
mischievous impish beings
(about bajillion holed
up could fill the Taj Mahal) even donned with
heavy coat protecting them
(usually men) against cold
yet frolic with reel delight jiggling

with inborn instinct exhibit twofold
talent to dance with modesty
downplaying (while fiddling)
analogous to some roof fiend
averse tubby extolled,
nonetheless, their popular
doth soar, and grievously scold
persistent myth anchored with toehold,
and thus do not indulge
pruriently with pixies considerably dulled,

since libido practically nonexistent told
me (under oath of
confidentiality), one Grunwald
trusted yours truly, the secrete
will not leak out,
nor spread like slime mold,
this descendant of Lemuel Gulliver
who schleps across the webbed wide wold.

Yours truly (an average
height and weight size ways)
nondescript grown
male munching kin
stands a little less than threefold
larger than full grown homunculi.

Rumor monger kickstarter
Matthew Scott Harris
posits nontrue tidbit
regarding rock 'n' roll star
who (name unmentioned)
became the most influential
musicians across the universe,
with estimated record sales
of around 600 million
as of two thousand twenty blank.

Imp possible mission
to see non elfish (pressed) lee
160 years after his Irish ancestor
crossed the Atlantic
curling his left lip,
whereby convalescing, peep ping auld
timers cavorting wax nostalgic with
itty bitty whippersnappers,
averse to any outliers,
whether hirsute or bald
an honest to goodness painstaking effort
initially stymied friendship proffered, a cold
reception eventually bedecked
hall of the mountain king
(while sharing diet of worms)
deep under verdantly
festooned knolls of Eire land.
Just a couple weeks shy
and seven years ago to the day,
I still remember contractual obligations
our previous residential abode
724 West Railroad Avenue,
Bryn Mawr 19010 zip code
volatile relationship – poisonous
nasty hubris jump/kick started
with aforementioned videre licet, alte Frau
(quite similar to Hamburg

geschkult harsh taskmaster),
whose figurative and verbal drubbings
linkedin with angry bird disposition
twittering toward us
analogous as toxic soundcloud
ofttimes found her ready to explode
lingering hostility snapped,
popped, and crackled dark,
whereby sauerkraut ****
analogous to red hot poker face glowed
until that fateful late June
two thousand and seventeenth day.

Little did we known then,
where contractual obligations
to acquire municipal approval
to legally house borders for pay  
she got away without being penalized
nevertheless danger lurked
as well as mice and roaches skittered
like a bag of spilled skittles,
no idea where the little critters went
invariably they scattered

like pigs from a gun after war of words,
and near physical altercation
fisticuffs flew and mutual
(of Omaha) blood red rage
both parties did vent
the closest to homelessness
found Harris family
resigned to live in a tent
when lease would not be renewed
that she who charge sky high rent.

The heavy price to pay living social
along Hoity toity MainLine
Back a small number of years
thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma,
enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned
a cold shoulder to me and I’ll
avoid denigrating, haranguing,
and lambasting said dell lisle

la, whose avoidance
behavior toward me –
who goes a mile
out of her way to ensure
our paths do not cross – noah din nile
per the above –
well, perhaps a slight bit of hyperbole
viz this, mine swift tailored, harried style
per potpourri of
puzzling perturbation evinced

by said olde world germane
German dame we lease this duplex
treating us, as if we committed
some egregious crime
subsequently forced to stand trial
viz aversion toward this convivial,
frivolous and introspective chap
methinks said realtor/renter
joined a coven den
where doe eyed zen of thieves

occupy teaching rubric
of mean-ness while
taking appropriate after paging thru
selective yellow pages
from play book of Sarah Palin
which tension unlikely to cease
for the next nine months till the deed
doth expire, where by this witch a  taw
hook cans *** (ours) will be freed
of renting a long and fostered,

roach and fox infested, century21
from once salient sympathetic ear
this now manifested Scrooge like greed
reminding us (essentially
via cessation of any interaction),
how she once did heed
to our various and sundry travails –
though neither myself nor spouse,
the latter whose vociferousness
regularly exudes loathsomeness  

toward key per, once a vouch saving
storied angel without fail and indeed
wife tis not shy to vent
where a plethora of expletives lead
rant and rave toward an impending crisis
that will me send out an SOS
ever felt compelled
to join Hemlock society
or drown sorrows in mead
yet disappointment arises,

when formerly positive
dynamic now im peed
did by reasons unbeknownst to me,
who feels grateful ye chanced to read
my babbling of poetically
irrational from a regular Trader Joe,
who doth not sport Harris Tweed
nor (despite any immediate intimations)
doth newt smoke ***** nor drink ****.
133 · Feb 2019
Snaggletooth The Snitch
We (me and the missus)
live in a decent
accommodations low income
quite modest rent,
which facility lacks no shortage
of gossip mongers

with mail delivery the major event
many old people smelling of unguent
faux superman thumping chests nsync
with hooking thumbs around
suspenders feigning to be affluent,
and self important as former

triple secret double agent
yeah, minus the snitches,
the one bedroom apartment
at highland manor ranks
as most satisfactory ascent
to appease our taste, and

general environmental ambient
aspects compared to other
housing situations of ours
so, despite most every nosy, ancient
snooty, hoity toity...tenant,
particularly one butch herd gal

with a **** eyed louey, ****** accent
a perfect spectacle for circus big-tent
single bucked sharp front tooth
sparkles, mocks, glistens...
as if brushed with Pepsodent
of course displayed "FAKE"

seventh heaven-sent
friendliness, when poor us
near being penniless with only tencent
experienced a warm welcome
a short time after moving here
but demeanor thereafter went

postal - stamp ping like the dickens
as if yours truly an unrepentant
sin nurse stir jokester,
nonetheless  minds hateful words adamant
lee averse to cast aspersions,
cuz a friendly gesture linkedin
with my preference to be cogent

practicing what this atheist doth silent
lee preach, sans attempt tubby tolerant
in the face of someone belligerent
attentive to mine credo, dogma, ethos...
while alive in this world be tolerant
of others, whether he/ she wuzzent
pleasant still recalling days of yore,

I felt disgusted with myself when hell-bent
to hurl expletives (adding insult to injury)
if somebody bad mouthed me,
thus object lesson not requiring fervent
fanatical religious fervor
plus gluten free and NON GMO
improving health of Clark Kent.
133 · Oct 2022
Harris fortitude went awol
lest ye seek alms
with outfaced palms
just imagine
how the lantern shone  
against the knees of Archelaus,
and lit up the check-board pattern
of the eleemosynary trousers

Fatigued civilian attires reasonable rhyme
challenging readers to dare themselves
question yours truly what ranks as
unleashing trademark punishing crime.

Words worth more'n fine spun gold
courtesy those considering themselves literate,
perhaps recipients of countless laurels extolled,
nevertheless mediocre (ha) logophile
crafts poem(s) inducing scold.

Dire straits force me to abide
the law of self preservation
and espouse with permission granted
by Bedřich Smetana
to abscond with bartered bride
think infamous American robbery team
Bonnie and Clyde
responsible for a 21-month
crime spree from 1932 to 1934

as analogous nefarious
transgression in league with human
author of mine verse, thus thee decide
to befriend bipedal hominid,
who scours earthwide
(and if necessary extending search
beyond outer limits of twilight zone,
where dark shadows
slink along the edge of night)

for fine prairie home companions
ideally from Lake Woebegone,
or outliers with documentation falsified
turning to humble **** sapien
as their spiritual guide,
he will be game and willingly surrender
mine Yankee doodling dandy buttucks,
his posterior gluteus maximus hide
if he falls short of promise

to bring webbed wide world bliss
witnessed as emasculation
toward himself intensified
cuz truth be told
interpersonal connections
allow, enable, and provide
kinetic, opportunistic, rhapsodic,
and universalistic joyride.

All decked out like one base 2 ace
of spades, or king of hearts
traveling at lightspeed thru cyberspace
traveling as binary unit with amazing grace,
the zeros flickering like a moonface
hopscotching between nodes uptrace
sing journey across the Internet.

Many a favorite YouTube tutorial venue
represent virtual re: digital haunts I review
to bolster pulling myself up by bootstraps
such sites out of webbed wide world
include basic digital electronics,
computer networking fundamentals,
how transistors work, plus
miscellaneous other tidbits.
re: visited tonight October 15th, 2021

Way before aye knew
the name Fletcherism applied
tummy uncommonly (recherché) atypical dyed
in the wool feeding and/or slaking thirst guide

did precepts sans hungry
deaf eating beast impossible to hide
(the ferocious growling harassing imp -
armed to the figurative teeth ready to pounce
viz casus belli sans reeling off

a pseudo say id dish us vicious jeremiad
me, this unrepentant conscientious masticator,
who re: lied
on self control unbeknownst
to this pumpkin eater
(me not named Peter)
unwittingly followed

the basic tenet of Fletcherism - custom made
modus operandi vis a vis exercising okayed
mandibular metered (when famished),
eyes kept closed while tongue gently played

adhered to practice of eating small amounts,
which discipline stayed
engorging self, and as a result
(consuming sustenance

only when hungry avoiding
(wolfing like an instantaneous blitzkrieg flash)
found me aware visa vis master car ding
marginal increase in pounds meaning
thy body electric weighed

approximately for long stretches
when a habitue at one or another dining digs
stuffed nibbling on hors d'oeuvre figs
adequately satiating with with oomf

when contra dance caller Scott Higgs
announced "hands four," which signal
helped get my mojo back
and reel lee deuce home jigs,
which indeed kickstarted and syncopated,

oft times espying Bobby Riggs
who years gone back **** Vic Tory huss
e'en when donning apparel of Whigs
like colluding trump petting molecules
that via tiff ***** doth zags and zigs.
Though reading horror stories
gearing up as strawberry spring fest
full throttle danse (macabre),
an only every now and again predilection
genre crazy wave
washing over me like
a killer tsunami,
harboring pier rill less night surf
(subsequently fueling figurative
hair razing close shave

critical desperation) to save
thine scrawny ****,
(a derriere laughing stock,
and hence cheeky of me to rave),
what you put
in a Margarita,
those rare occasions satiated, when
hung over insomnia heavily bulging,
rheumy myopic blood shot eyes
nonetheless lock into

vital opening sentence determining,
whether adroit kingly author
nimbly setting the stage and pave
ving what thenceforth, pro
misses tubby a cell out ace
in the hole captive audience
skeleton crew exhuming a grave
grim reaper they crave
(me, this apt pupil), doth brace
himself by all counts once

a bad little kid deserving, well...now...
just a bag of bones,
who fiendishly cackles
analogous to screeching
linkedin deafening banshee
when leaning in (Sheryl Sandberg like),
whereat after opening sentence,
an instantaneous big bang
possessive gnarly hand
forcibly grabs my attention

presaging and frightening
yours truly (juiced in case
ye did not know),
where within the bazaar
of bad dreams epic,
which seems like forever,
when I finally erase
and exorcise the bogeyman who,
regally, masterfully, immediately,
dramatically got woven

lady chattery teeth and all
withering wicked warp and woof
establishing (proof positive),
an excellently crafted
Chiral Mad heavily shades
of night are falling
gussying haunting place,
where the color of evil permeates
every cerebral space
with darkness, said

sub rosa prime evil punctuates
the mind of this dream catcher,
whence after four past midnight
the reaper's image appears
sending adrenaline rush,
surreal augmented moving pictures,
viz flight or fight
courtesy third eye blind
did, when firestarter alarm didst grind
passage of time manifesting dark forces

blaze zing atavistic fear itself lined
up battleground formation
from the borderlands of my mind
this even before turning
the first page where the eyes
of drag'n my afterlife
glowed with radiant shining
where suspense didst wind.
Once again tis time to pony up and trot out (neigh - without horsing around) an unforgettable day encompassing a series of unfortunate events (so take that Lemony Snicket! - yeah go ahead and picket!).

Wicked bad day poem
originally crafted, designed, engineered...
then alternately titled
for no particular rhyme nor reason:
unwitting courtesy extended
to Doctor Donald (Duck) Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia.

Superstitious severely tested across fineline
doggedly gingerly jinxing luck of mine
August thirteenth nineteen hundred and ninety nine
forever etched in the annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like a fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.

Prior to the following awful events
that unfolded aforementioned day
somewhat solemn and gray
I did not consider myself unduly superstitious
nor prone to bouts of triskaidekaphobia/
paraskevidekatriaphobia  no how no way.

Yet that particular Friday
the thirteenth baptized me
in the ****** waters of superstition unequivocally
whence upon waking said particular morning
the search for funereal garb found me
burrowing into a small closet  
while bending on one knee,
and nonchalantly rummaging

for suitable article of clothing to wear
(per the wake/
sitting shiva of William Zison
the octogenarian father in law)
an unbeknownst ill fate
lurked just seconds away
ready to cap cha an innocent prey
as any unseen observer
and/or pet would agree.

Hands rifled and rustled
thru various and sundry
miscellaneous items in one or another box
mostly clothing and other apparel
draped in coat hangers
plus a precariously perched

heavy tin of yarn heavy as rocks
began to teeter from top ledge,
than made a slow inexorable descent
in direct path of thy crown
containing valued mental stocks.

The topmost part of thine skull
felt impact of sharp metallic rim
that left an indentation in soft part of scalp –
more’n an abrasive skim
and bent circular shape

of contrivance filled to the hilt
one law of physics pertaining
to falling object (taught to me)
acquires greater mass
accelerating with velocity and vim.

Upon reflexively yet tentatively
touching raw sore spot
fingertips revealed presence of warm liquid
soon coagulating into a pulpy gordian knot
from sharp lipped impact registering nausea
and vertigo quite a lot
hence sewing crafts managed to stitch
a tattooed laceration forming a ****** clot.

Body writhed with physical torment
as if being only partially alive
whereby waves of blacking
or passing out found me swooning
ready to take a swan dive
nonetheless from Schwenksville
to Penn Valley, I did
(by divine grace) safely drive
whence family members and relatives
once destination reached, the motley crue
began organized car pool arrangements
per heading off to the cemetery,

which caravan formation  
similar to a human bee hive,
yours truly declined to go
communicating persistent distress from mishap
I bowed wowed out, stayed home
and kept company with a dog
(purportedly man’s best friend)
(said pet belonging to a friend
of eldest sister in law),
whose open palmed overtures
of mine did not jive.

An impulse found fingers reaching out
to stroke this unfamiliar animal
supposedly man’s best friend
only to find sharp teeth from canine jaw
clamped down ******* hand
which second ****** injury,
my mother affixed a butterfly bandage
to expedite the injury to mend,
I did immediately tend
while bolts of white hot pain
shot thru lower extremity of palm
radiated upward through forearm
into shoulder did wend.
Born that way angry antithetical
mailer daemon when...
all of Christendom bows their collective
talking heads in supplication,
a temporary truce and reprieve
against bigotry, deviltry, idolatry (nah),  
et cetera across the nation.

Yuletide pageant merry doth go round
where credo, ethos, and
faith no more jinxes webbed, wide world,
nevertheless soul asylum limned courtesy
peace on earth and goodwill
toward all men sentiment
sacrilegious to bully,
fully sully mankind's divine holiness,
and present disgrace to human race
in the dolled guise of heretic

quasi analogous to a matador ramrod ready
to Catch Bull at Four in a China shop
gored when muleta waved -
courtesy matador incited Bos Taurus
both fuming, fretting, foaming, et cetera
even the spectators
frothing at the mouth with lather
while smartphones captured tableau
frozen in time photo touched up
stripping bare every ******

last vestige of cruelty
toward a gregarious animal
exclusively a domestic species
males genetic propensity
culled, goaded, likened as fearsome beast,
synonymous when anonymous nasty brute
fomented enormous disaster
monetarily eviscerated yours truly
an online scamming  assault,
the repercussions I still forced to wage

depredations living hand to mouth
quaffing caustic acidic ale,
a cunning prankster did stage
comparable to kindle figurative
ringed fire of rage
within my still smoldering belly –
coalescence fuels tinder
while financial security riven
and rent asunder
severely dislocating, hobbling,

paralyzing vertebrae constituting
gray and white matter, appearing
in a cross-section as H-shaped gray matter
surrounded by white matter,
whereat the gray matter consists
of the cell bodies of motor
and sensory neurons,
interneurons, and neuropils
(neuroglia cells and mostly
unmyelinated axons).
Morality and self-fulfillment
attainable without belief in God
similarly yours truly
would figuratively crane
his credulity to ascertain Ichabod
mentioned in first Book of Samuel
as purported son of Phinehas,

I reject entire Biblical text,
and prefer to remain sacrilegious
eschewing faith no more,
(cuz doctrinaire versus
epistemological paradigm)
disagreeable, thus essentially
resigning yours truly

as token scapegoat gussied
up as heretical ******
metaphorically winkin blinkin
nonverbally giving nod
even if deaf mute blatherskite
reduced in one sentence as an odd
ditty, I spout gibberish

while travelling finite orbitz,
whereby one metrical foot
in front of thee other hide doth plod
me along tried and
true value schlemiel totally slipshod
thru and through,
though no po' tightwad!

Growing up amidst paternal
skeptical and cynical dad
in retrospect, I feel moral less glad
to avoid orthodox precepts
foisted when juiced a wee lad,
who peculiarly enough
resembled Alfred E. Neuman
if only yours truly
a figment of imagination,

rather than experiencing being sad
sack these days purposelessly
shuffling within ma rented pad
i.e. one bedroom apartment
listening to spouse more'n tad
annoying if oft times
knows exactly what childlike behavior
finds me getting stark raving mad.

Familiarity breeds contempt,
and the missus (unlike other gals)
unconditionally accepts her sir
vile counterpart (me) unkempt,
where neither of us
once upon a time dreamt
that each the other

would survive foreign attempt
to pledge troth (courtesy
justice of the peace
also known as
Magisterial District Judge:
Henry Schireson of Lower Merion
nsync with fame of Kobe Bryant
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