After descent of eventide
luminescence of freshly fallen snow
still illuminates the terrestrial firma bright
even upon the onset of dusk,
when dark shadows
betoken the edge of night
analogously herald outer limits
invoking intimations of the twilight zone,
which visibility amplified
with appearance of full moon
accentuating brilliant blinding white
across the bucolic expanse.

No matter familiarization
with precipitation falling to Earth
as ice crystallization,
nevertheless a child like mirth
bubbles up inside of me,
the shear beauty worth
more than words can spell.

These transitional bifocals I wear
become naturally tinted
(upon exposure to radiance)
courtesy law of reflection
which states that, on reflection
from a smooth surface,
the angle of the reflected ray
equals the angle of the incident ray
essentially darkening material
comprising lenses for glasses,
which constituent chemicals for lenses
come in four types of plastic:
polyethylene, Trivex, polycarbonate,
high-index polymers, and glass.

After looking away
from brilliantly shimmering raiment
displaying full regalia donned
courtesy the nearest solar body,
one might see dark spots or patches
within field of vision,
which ocular entities called afterimages.

Afterimages happen because
the cells in your eyes that help you see,
called photoreceptor cells,
get tired from the bright light.

There are two types of these cells: cones and rods.

Though myopic, I still marvel
and feel blessed at ability
to experience capability,
no matter nearsightedness
insync with color vision deficiency (CVD)
diminishes fullest breadth and scope
to see with perfect
(meaning 20/20) vision
ever since a wee lad
way back in second grade
nearsightedness became quite evident

and difficult to ignore
forsooth in while deep in the womb
visionary genesis made
with slight inability
unable to distinguish
one or more chromatic colors
also in the chromosomal store
and so-called “floaters”
like my own private kaleidoscope
played tag across field of view

in the process concentration wore
out ability to attune other senses
to lend even a shade
now as an older fellow,
who dons bifocals with pride
eligible by optometrist/ophthalmologist
to undergo laser surgery
to shine on (me) lens
and render spectacles superfluous
as necessary guide
once anonymous philanthropist pens

adequate check for costly procedure,
whereby ocular weakness to hide,
whence ability to see keen as a hawk
with zoom empowered by tens
meanwhile this wayward fellow
will pilgrimage to the oracle of Delphi
hoping the priestess can deliver
like some divine
miracle worker for near blind
and if prayer
(to be free of glasses answered)

will become prophet
(written on subway walls) well nigh
and wordsmith will no longer
make spectacle of himself,
additionally no longer at the mercy
per groping in the dark
for misplaced eyewear to find
able to discern celestial objects
far away in the sky
which cosmic phenomena
t’will hypnotize this inquisitive mind.

revisited and slightly revised today
March 14th, 2021.

One deliberate shameful death,
whose demise linkedin
violent cessation of breath
thank heavy gun wielding hand
innocuous **** disguised
as armed neighborhood watch
firearm brandished
as weapon of choice.

Once again rifling thru outdated drafts,
I unwittingly repost grievous bulletin
that made headlines nine plus years ago,
an innocent lad received fatal shot
into said unarmed teenager's chest
according to testimony
courtesy Doctor Vincent Di Maio.

Memory of aforementioned crime
relegated to dustbin of criminal minds
whereby dime a dozen killings
(nowadays barely register shock)
countless young persons
genetically bequeathed with
healthy dose of melanin
gunned down during their prime.

George Zimmerman (then age 28)
ought to be pitched into the
alligator and crocodile infested Everglade
for his senseless killing (outright ******)
of Trayvon Martin slammed
as involved some illicit wick kid trade
(a slender African American
more precisely youth flush with color
only 17 years young -

(birthdate - February 5th, 1995
death date - February 26th, 2012),
whose martyrdom grows
as days/weeks fade
an exemplary gregarious helpmate
swimming against the tide
to make the grade
now slain while just a youth -
the unfounded killing
by a neighborhood watch volunteer,

who felt afraid
that this dark skinned young man
appeared suspicious pulled the trigger
with comeuppance to be paid
though -- no retribution can restore
lifeless body, still
agitated waters nor offer shade
from the justifiable media frenzy
sparked from Geraldo Rivera made

even with unanimous
approval of guillotine blade
for violence cannot only rejuvenate
a promising future
evinced by Trayvon Martin
reincarnated into tree or leaf blade
but only serves to beget subsequent
violence now unto his grave
said teenager laid!

Mine corporeal complex edifice
unleashes convulsions of anxiety.

Lack of appetite
to savor even smallest bite
unlike Pavlov's dog,
I neither salivate nor excite
at prospect (parking) body
against table not low but fahrenheit
unfair punishment fates did indict,
whereby yours truly decreed
to suffer wraith inflicted

akin to ghastly revengeful Jacobite
asitia struck with vengeance
sucker punched pit of stomach
with furious dog forsaken might
unsavory predicament figuratively
eating away me passion
to relish comestibles day and night,
hence feeble effort to craft poem quite
lame rhyming for no reason right?

Yours truly cannot remember,
how many days, weeks, months... ago
elapsed, whereby with voraciousness I ate
(above mentioned statement veracious -
food for thought) I plainly communicate
hoop fully buzzfeeding, dishing out quandary

in fortified effort to elucidate
thee dear anonymous reader great
if newfound (albeit tenuous) intrigue
awoke courtesy mine artful ruse to initiate
reciprocity, cuz regret iz the stealer of joy
thus verbally athletic, cryptic, enigmatic,

generic, idiotic, kinetic, magnetic, opportunistic
quixotic, solipsistic (ha) troubadour
who heartily hales within
southeastern keystone-state
dares himself to reach out across cyberspace
in an cautiously optimistic effort to mitigate

and extend his metaphorical (albeit empty) plate
maintaining netiquette, an amorphous,
yeah flirtatious nebulous groovy savoir faire,
which mine body, mind, spirit triage
suddenly seems restoration of natural craving
toward sustenance doth oscillate.

What relief long starved taste buds to appease
cuz methought (courtesy obsessive compulsive
worst case scenario catastrophizing)
one garden variety guy
acquired some generic disease.

Within Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania,
thus far marginal rainfall for season
nevertheless...the hazy, hot and humid dog days
meanwhile (gad) Zeus  
tiredly huffs and puffs...with a growl
regarding thunderstorm unable to make headway

against invisible firewall
shielding this area
of the keystone state haul
in tandem with the spirit
of Saints Peter, Paul

and Mary (Southeastern -
tri county (also)
encompassing the suburban hall,
sans Spring Mount Mountain King -
an egg gree us fellow - quite tall

simultaneously straddling Bucks,
Delaware, and Montgomery),
and much as I revel,
when blizzard conditions raged, a Saul
ting self importance of humanity,

where meteorological conditions
hurled a wicked frozen curveball
forcing fatuous, egocentric brazen arrogance
into unassuming (ruff) atoll
shape shifting paradigm,

viz dogmatic couture of modesty call
out depravity, immodesty, pomposity,
et cetera, vis a vis,
when "she" declares marshall,
law yes only when might

of Mother Nature tempers
trumpeting one donning
guise of cloudy (with chance of) meatballs
unfortunately indiscriminately
striking havoc overall

mindful, honest, decent... folks
swept up in maelstrom, which pitfall
could cause loss of life or limb,
this teetotaler inebriated,

fascinated, and captivated,
and linkedin to thrall
dom wielded by volcanic, tectonic, climatic...
of phenomena take (measure for measure)
an indifference to scuttling

hominids beef four all
lose well that ends well,
asper scrimmage maul
ling the accouterments of civilization
then...deathly still quiet doth befall

after unleashed forces exhaust
and expend blistering might
temporarily silencing madding crowd
to standstill, and eventual faint crawl
courtesy of a wicked atmospheric drawl!

No matter Tuesday, November 5, 2024
still one hundred and eight days away,
(thank you Julian Date Calendar -
FOR LEAP YEARS ONLY),
I believe a foregone conclusion
that Donald Trump will win
based on the pathetic debate performance
between Joseph Robinette Biden Junior,
and Donald John Trump
in tandem with the stellar performance
of the latter at the Republican National Convention,
which appeared to surpass great expectations,
a gut reaction, cuz I could not stomach watching
the main star and near future dictator.

I may view some or all of
The Democratic Convention
scheduled to be held August 19 to 22, 2024,
at the United Center in Chicago, Illinois,
and by tradition, because the Democratic Party
currently holds the White House,
said convention will be conducted
after the 2024 Republican National Convention,
which was held from July 15 to 18, 2024.
Nevertheless, yours truly
will not betray his political party loyalty
to cast his vote for the former named candidate
and simultaneously brace himself emotionally
drafting gofundme site with catchy slogan
and image showing tin cup hand
for sudden homelessness
of myself and the missus,
the result of social security disability,
AETNA ADVANTRA MEDICARE,
and Medicaid being axed, gutted, slashed, et cetera
as well as many other socially progressive programs
unless this gassy, generic, gifted, and goofy guy
experiences an unexpected windfall.

Actually... another alternative exists
videre licet despite the admission,
I don't really feel ready to die,
and the spouse would **** me
if she finds out one bumbling,
doodling, fiddling, hemming
and hawing, jump/kick starting wordsmith
would dare leave, whereby
she would lack
her figurative rock of Gibraltar.

The idea to emigrate to Canada,
or just drive until reaching north
of the border dividing line much
more appealing, but no family or
friends linkedin to my network,
nor, cuz this solitudinarian can
call on nobody except an elder
sister living in Woodbury, New
Jersey, or a younger sibling (a
veritable globe trotter), she and
her husband call Bend, Oregon
their mostly permanent residence.

Yeah, I attest to be all talk and no action
envisioning myself made of stouter stuff
with the help of powder milk biscuits,
which gave me the courage
to acquire superhuman powers
which allows, enables, and provide
a guise to bedazzle readers
with my brilliance.

No other particular marketable skill can I avail
long story short mental health issues sabotaged
healthy development of body, mind, and spirit
evinced with difficulty similarly as challenging
as blind double amputee person learning Braille
when segueing from childhood's end to adolescence
experiencing puberty found me
fraught with emotional travail
vivid remembrance of things past

taking piano lessons
at the house Missus Eva Youngblood,
where her daughter Barbara taught
courtesy John Thompson's
Modern Course for the Piano -
numerous lesson books
helped yours truly learn
how to tickle the ivory keys
at some point, I succumbed
to severe grievous state
collapsed in a heap
on the floor and softly wailed
lamentably plaintively sobbing
pausing between weeping
to ******* “I cannot live any more,”
or some such sentiment.

Ted Goldberg, a psychiatrist
at Collegeville Counseling
did his level best to draw out
responses from a little boy
who remained mute,
and said degreed professional resorted
to play one or more popular board games
which choice of activity
elicited non verbal reaction,
and needless to say this approach
slowly but surely gradually
found with the aid of melirill -
(thioridazine HCl) an anti-psychotic medication
in the phenothiazine class
used to treat psychotic disorders
such as schizophrenia and elavil -
medication used to treat depression.
Amitriptyline belongs to a class
of drugs known as tricyclic antidepressants.

Both prescription medications eventually
bore figurative fruit,
and coaxed my tongue to wag.

Anorexia nervosa got nipped in the bud
before I literally starved to death,
totally undermining mental, physical,
and spiritual well being
presenting impossible mission
for this then seventh grade student
assigned to section 7B1
(if memory serves me correctly)
to assimilate lecture material,
thus scoring the lowest marks
with flying colors
(such as black, blue, and red),
and getting promoted

by the skin of my teeth,
with mine ancient history
adding up to being
a deplorable basket case
thru the remaining years I attended
Methacton Junior/Senior High School
actually at some arbitrary petticoat juncture
I gave up exerting one iota of intelligence
and adopted apathy, and honestly failed
at receiving an education,
cuz yours truly occupied a desk,
but never uttered a peep,
thus succeeded (as inscribed
on my curriculum vitae)
Matthew Scott Harris
did an exemplary job
taking up space and time.

offers his unsolicited tidbits
as scene courtesy
the following virtually
staged philosophical insight.

Arch back like
a professional ballet dancer
to stand out from other pedestrian applicants
seeking to fill my well-worn shoes
that fit my little feet.

Illuminate your soul
via modest communication
sans toe tilly tubular sole full insight
acquired thru being apprenticed
with storied prestigious law firm
of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale,
and Marathon Nike.

Keep your nose to the academic grindstone
despite the temptation
to appropriate the international family business
and graduation with supreme accolades
from one unnamed famous father.

He forsook frivolity per his peers
in exchange for a stock reputation
of gentility honesty, and integrity
despite his humble roots
as the only male heir
of a Middle Eastern European
Jewish mother and father.

They scrimped, saved and sacrificed
scarce resources to set the stage
for this scion of well-deserved
fame and fortune.

Never forget those grandparents
whose adherence to work their fingers
to the bone (literally)
allowed, enabled and provided
this founding partner
per the trio of stalwart attorneys
for the underdogs
of the World Wide Web.

Match deeds with credo
of obedience to the law
of the land, as epitomized
by Abraham Lincoln.

Such obeisance to a democratic dogma
will be firm stepping-stones
to engender and kindle with tinder loving care
an Amazon zone of cathartic karma
from paternal persona.

Such acquiescence toward morals
of the conscience
(and remembrance of previous generations
blood, sweat and tears)
will serve as intrinsic manna
for clients to clamor
like an unstoppable rolling stone
to seek counsel from one
whose genuine heartfelt equalitarian demeanor
a near perfect recipe for satisfaction
for helping others smooth out
jagged abutments arising in their lives.

Rather than lecture and command
with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror
(as casually espoused in “The Prince”
by Machiavelli), this democratic,
humanistic, liberal minded
torchbearer of justice advises
active listening (as advocated
by the late Jean Dole,
my renown mentor
from Lima, Pennsylvania),
inculcating intuitive posturing
toward delivering random acts of kindness.

This includes offer services pro bono
if an individual, family, municipality,
et cetera appears copacetic
yet struggles against insurmountable
odds from the laugh-in fickle finger of fate.

Exemplify by example of zeal
for the underdog
(immersed in some catastrophic series
of unfortunate events – cue Lemony Snicket)
that money need not be demanded
before the welfare of the downtrodden
(sic – such as the fictitious Harns Family
from Penn Valley –
who live among the wealthiest people,
yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats)
from the mere exuberance
of witnessing an ear to ear
smile of gratitude.

Rather than be biased,
inclined to be prejudiced
based on cursory observations
of one or many barely clinging
to the life raft of survival,
I (as a humble human)
encourage a relationship of trust
before casting an indiscriminate eye
toward those less fortunate
to live in the lap of luxury.

Luck (or the lack thereof)
an invisible yet potent additive
to this mix for those flush
with disposable income or exiled
to a hand to mouth hardscrabble dilemma.

Daily acknowledgement for
ethnic, genetic and quixotic
dice throw of chance in tandem
with loving support of immediate
kith and kin instrumental in keeping
in check bombastically egotistical,
haughtily radical degradation
of fixation of values steeped
in appreciation of aesthetics, beauty,
charm, decency, equality
from gifts hoed inside.

Joyfulness keeps love moving
needling offset predilections.

Quality rests squarely
upon the pillars of staying
within the bounds of service
to those less able bodied or beset
with untold obstacles that discourage
setting virtue (or the closest approximation
of what that means
to the inquiring mind)
as precedent to blaze a trail
of care and concern.

Always maintain benevolent devotion
forswearing greediness.

Invoke keepsake mandating
omnipotent natural personal righteousness
to vaccinate yourself against
heinous, nefarious, pernicious,
et cetera rapacious
trapdoors of selfishness.

*Hing or heeng is the Hindi word for asafetida (sometimes spelled asafoetida). It's also been known as the devil's dung and stinking gum, as well as asant, food of the gods, jowani badian, hengu, ingu, kayam, and ting. It is a dark brown, resin-like substance that is derived from the root of ferula.

Written/updated since last year
unlike any other
when out of this world
outlandish accouterments
people did wear
hermetically sealed
of even faintest tear
to avoid contamination
against coronavirus pandemic
air supply difficult to spare
when wing and prayer
soul saving amazing grace
frankly against scalpers, marauders,
and fraudsters steeling
themselves to profiteer.

Pandemic straps tightly
plied girded beltway
unlike any other All fools day
in annals of recorded ("fake") history
western civilization tapestry doth fray
April first two thousand and twenty four
neigh, no time for horseplay
what with coronavirus (COVID-19)
boarded ship of jilted fools
(think **** sapiens)
barred courtesy omnipotent jackstay
furloughed workers analogous
grumpy minions lay

dwarfed by unfortunate global events, née...
germinating, jackknifing, and wreaking havoc
Mother Earth nonchalantly toying
(indiscriminately) regarding humanity
as bestrewing bajillion biohazards berserkly
bequeathing bedlam child's play
just desserts, she doth understandably repay
man/womankind flicked as flotsam and jetsam
vile treatment diabolically heaped,
jubilantly loosed, maniacally pitched
upon her terrestrial firma oy vey
she chokes, gags, laughs raspily yea
rebuffs, refuses, and renounces further abuse.

Nevertheless toothless gumption, albeit feeble
fighting spirit, her survival instincts assail
cumulative environmental destruction
triggered casus belli expelling deadly toxins,
when Gaia doth exhale
since onset of global interregnum
(think virulent spreading poisonous Kudzu
like wildfire biohazard)
since world wide webbed disease
brought grinding halt
consumerist paradigm in lockdown,

nonetheless within brief interim
noticeable clearer air to inhale
amazingly enough postal system...
intact voila... uninterrupted delivery of mail,
the daily highlight experienced
among people emotionally crippled
pasty faced and pale
finds quivering Captain Kangaroo
courting King Crimsom,
plus good n plenti proud primates
each dancing and quivering
like a captive dang gulling quail.

Aims to trigger cerebral ******;

Other terms for said phenomena are
"brain tingles" and "head ******."
This sensation is described as a pleasant,
even euphoric, tingling warmth and/or feeling
of relaxation that comes in waves across
the head, neck, and spine.
This phenomenon is often triggered
by soothing auditory
and/or visual experiences.

Though puzzled regarding
the minor biochemical
or perhaps neurological mystery
underlying tumbling, plummeting,
and nosediving libido of mine,
nevertheless, I blessedly accept reality,
whereby once raging testosterone
figuratively analogous to former gushing spigot
of hormonal secretion
now (yes pun intended) runs bone dry
and (contrary to any fallacy),
NOT sorely missed!

Yours truly (me) surmises absent *** drive
linkedin to side effects of one or more
of the nine prescription medications
taken to offset anxiety, dysthymia,
palmar hyperhidrosis (sweaty palms),
obsessive compulsive disorder, and
restless leg syndrome)
subsequently an aspiration arose to arouse
at least one unsuspecting reader
to experience mental excitement
courtesy yours truly

(mine) poetic and prosaic foreplay,
especially concocting double entendres
that titillate Wernicke's area, i.e.
a critical language area
in the posterior superior
temporal lobe connects
to Broca's area via a neural pathway.
Wernicke's area is primarily involved
in the comprehension.

Historically, this area
associated with language processing,
whether it is written or spoken.

Unlike setting up blind dates for myself
more than half my lifetime ago
(with long sought after ambition, expectation,
and utilization answering call of the wild
read for tactile sensory sensual experience)
courtesy, Craigslist, Philadelphia Magazine,
Single Book lovers, or other mediums
to post or answer
personal classified advertisements;
nowadays, the quest when responding
to friendship requests thru Facebook
ala Messenger sofa now couched
with intent for platonic familiarity.

If/when words masterfully baited
usage of English Language
without recourse to any rhyme nor reason
admittedly, gloriously, and undoubtedly created
upsurge of... palpable excitement,
though medical experts invariably
would most likely challenge
if I actually averred (honest to dog)
coalition, fusion, integration,

et cetera of genitalia
between consensual adults in general,
and oral ******* in particular execrated
from fervid, lurid,
or perfervid fantasies of mine;
methinks attaining the big "O" oversaturated,
cuz in my paradigm,
no erogenous zones need get sated
to attain contentment eliciting joie de vivre.

An intense passion runs rampant
when reading and
to a slightly lesser degree writing
about pleasurable sensations
affecting the mind imbibing
heavenly essences helped along,
when heightened state of mental acuity
brought about thru restful sleep
coaxed along with five hour energy drink,
or other caffeinated beverage.

Exercising on the stationary bicycle
(no way to determine distance traversed
since I removed odometer and other
sundry mechanisms), nevertheless
key objective regarding cardiological workout felt
cause resistance to push pedals
set to highest tension, generates mild euphoria,
which approximation of nirvana
heightened while concentrating reading out loud
hearing thought provoking material.

Though reading horror stories
gearing up as strawberry spring fest
full throttle danse (macabre),
an only every now and again predilection
genre crazy wave
washing over me like
a killer tsunami,
harboring pier rill less night surf
(subsequently fueling figurative
hair razing close shave

critical desperation) to save
thine scrawny ****,
(a derriere laughing stock,
and hence cheeky of me to rave),
what you put
in a Margarita,
those rare occasions satiated, when
hung over insomnia heavily bulging,
rheumy myopic blood shot eyes
nonetheless lock into

vital opening sentence determining,
whether adroit kingly author
nimbly setting the stage and pave
ving what thenceforth, pro
misses tubby a cell out ace
in the hole captive audience
skeleton crew exhuming a grave
grim reaper they crave
(me, this apt pupil), doth brace
himself by all counts once

a bad little kid deserving, well...now...
just a bag of bones,
who fiendishly cackles
analogous to screeching
linkedin deafening banshee
when leaning in (Sheryl Sandberg like),
whereat after opening sentence,
an instantaneous big bang
possessive gnarly hand
forcibly grabs my attention

presaging and frightening
yours truly (juiced in case
ye did not know),
where within the bazaar
of bad dreams epic,
which seems like forever,
when I finally erase
and exorcise the bogeyman who,
regally, masterfully, immediately,
dramatically got woven

lady chattery teeth and all
withering wicked warp and woof
establishing (proof positive),
an excellently crafted
Chiral Mad heavily shades
of night are falling
gussying haunting place,
where the color of evil permeates
every cerebral space
with darkness, said

sub rosa prime evil punctuates
the mind of this dream catcher,
whence after four past midnight
the reaper's image appears
sending adrenaline rush,
surreal augmented moving pictures,
viz flight or fight
courtesy third eye blind
did, when firestarter alarm didst grind
passage of time manifesting dark forces

blaze zing atavistic fear itself lined
up battleground formation
from the borderlands of my mind
this even before turning
the first page where the eyes
of drag'n my afterlife
glowed with radiant shining
where suspense didst wind.

courtesy evil ferocious wraithlike grimace

Acrimonious scurrilous words
flew out the mouth
of vicious nasty shortish brute
leaving yours truly
as a key witness dumbfounded.

Outrageous spluttering claims
of stolen parcels
plus ransacked jewelry
totaling to the tune
of countless Benjamins
(hundred dollar bills)
viciously lobbed at dear wife of mine
as iterated in a previously written poem.

Camera phone ****** forward
(analogous to pointing a gun)
the miscreant recorded images
of stunned spouse,
and vehicular license plate,
which automobile property of yours truly.

Though Will-o'-the-wisp
of hashtagged wicked witch
(at the most, she stands five feet tall
and weighs all
of one hundred pounds),
nevertheless said sylphlike
slender as a reed human specimen
exhibited threatening behavior
justifiably prompted me to call 911.

The police person came
and peppered us with questions,
though clear cut validity of false claim
against the missus
could not be substantiated
since no surveillance cameras installed.

Meanwhile we fear thy harridan neighbor,
who possesses sinister motives towards us,
and could surreptitiously vandalize
our (actually mine)
white 2020 Hyundai Elantra.

Such brazen impudent verbal brickbats
cast a spell of distress
and methinks Wiccan sorcery invoked,
I now speculate on the verity
and strong suspicion
utilization of the black arts,
and would not be surprised
if unnamed fellow tenant
exudes diabolical capability
to inflict harm or misfortune.

The webbed wide world
houses inexplicable
supernatural phenomena
perhaps linkedin to invocations
loosed from the lips of a livid virago
possibly disguised
as The Venerable Bede incarnate
or some vestal ******.

I count my blessings
to be in the good graces
(at least thus far)
of heretofore unnamed attractive,
yet malevolently unhinged
menacing mad as a hatter misfit,
(nothing but skin and bones)
whose predilection
towards poisonous
pronounced declarations
belies her aesthetically pleasing person.

If ever opportunity arises
why she wolf exhibits
demoniacal huntress role
evoking guise machination,
where pent up fury poised to strike
against my significant other,
I will bravely ask about baseless
flagrant kindled violation
jeopardizing ordinarily
peaceful easy feeling
toward lovely lady I married.

I dashed (off the enclosed poem) yay
while safely secured within
white horse open sleigh
after reading following
pray lemme know if ye uttered oy vey.

Profound insights divulged
during our most recent family zoom
Approximately seven hundred
and fifty four months since exiting womb,
yours truly (sole son
of late Boyce Brandon -
yes she named him
after paternal grandmother
Sadie, her mom's Yiddish name
Basia Brana or Brandla)
me currently ensconced within unit B44

analogous to catacomb
amid Highland Manor Apartments
I dwell - our livingsocial hole in the wall
among grateful dead residents
facility likened to metaphorical tomb
each stone individually moved one at a time
courtesy hearty and hale archeologists
resident to Qom
(a city in northwestern Iran -
place of pilgrimage for Shiite Muslims)

to imbibe on spiritual succor
and become comfortably numb
acquiring appropriate trailing appellation,
yes a USDA, FDA, B Corp... and
Pink Floyd approved nom de plume,
which feeble poetic brainstorm
begat within mine
sixty plus shades of gray matter,
which exhaustive mental effort
induced silent but deadly ka-boom

one Matthew Scott Harris
rent asunder vaporized to smithereens,
hence each his personal possessions
cherished as prized heirloom
no trace left behind
regarding pulverized lovely bones,
nevertheless burnt offerings
specialists did painstakingly exhume
where Ashkenazi temple will bloom.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My humblest apology for lame rhyme
with previous word similar to crypt
yours truly deserted and he gypped
thee while crawling
across Sahara during nighttime
dehydration subsequently
found me tight lipped
I called Uber, but could not get a lyft.

Living social amidst
crime infested urban jungle
bumping uglies cheek to jowl
analogous fate being housed in jail
escape room of great outdoors
spurred subject matter in question
to journey to hinterlands
far from madding crowd
of Fort Lauderdale
woodsman ever watchful for Centaur

the body and legs of a horse
and with the head,
arms, and torso of a male
equipped with crossbow as scare tactic
shaft piercing flesh
no worse than nine inch nail
vehemently decried nasty,
short and brutish beastie boys
Greek mythological character
come to earth as animal savior
considered louts unfairly advantageous

killing wildlife as deal breaker
for uber twittering overscale
trespassers slaying innocent creature
no matter game good n plenti
eco consciousness mindedness
prompted inner conflict to prevail
as ace archer held taut
likened to nock fletched arrow in quiver
or shaking dandering quail
caught in carnivorous crosshairs,

where hunter doth regale
and remember to embellish maxim
one bird in the hand
worth two in the bush
opportunistically praises quarry
as divine intervention
after heavens he did intently surveil
Brief Mane n' Tail
shampoo tall (tell) tale
as Jonah felt when he got
swallowed by a whale.

Once upon a time
in a previous life of course,
anonymous wordsmith tour de force
yours truly (me)
remembers being a horse,
the handsome fine companion
of one Norwegian bachelor farmer,
who lived near Lake Wobegon,
which Minnesota enclave
analogous to Old Norse

country, anyway while
subsequently reincarnated
as beast of burden animal
(said steed synonyms
courtesy Roget's Thesaurus),
with flowing and glistening mane
and tail cuz lovely and neighborly lass
regularly shampooed former and latter,
nevertheless, I escaped captivity
and found myself in a fate far worse.

In present incarnation
shackled (née yoked
like an oxen to a plow)
manned courtesy Piers Plowman
to husbandry duties
after pledging troth and wed
as generic bipedal hominid thoroughbred
**** sapiens punk rocker,
I plod and tread
along boulevard of broken dreams,

fast as greased lightning, I sped
but these spindleshanks
ain't quick enough,
now as an old enfeebled
gentleman well read
luscious brown locks
adorn noggin of me Mister Ned
existential crisis offset
washing hair (applying
Mane n' Tail shampoo

the only pride and joy)
a wishy washy talking head
until these lovely bones become dead,
which cremains of min
slated to get dispersed and scattered
to the four winds
where ashes will be absorbed
buzzfeeding courtesy Horse Chestnut
purpose driven life
covering, functioning, and incorporating
self analogous to bedspread.

I awoke early - now my body will sleep,
though thoughts rise like the Azores
of snuggling next to such an adorable atomic
bombshell of a beauty - boars
into my mind with
sonata fantasy syrup passing
overdrive way past taxing cores
sans crankshaft, pistons and tires viz,
the posted reo speedwagon
deaf fin knit lee unsafe

to open any passenger doors,
where speedometer manifold the limit
inxs of sixty nine miles per hour
as me heart...lures
me to your storybook
swiss chalet, and desire pours
like exhaust smoke awaiting consummation
of ******* - scores
that fills ma cerebral nooks and crannies
even if needing to take dee tours.

Pepé Le Pew
would feel honored if ye wanna reef fur
to myself as duh non tat hood
test tickle your teacher,
'thou noah way would eye ask four
you to pay me any see moo null wage
though my golden arched ethos
parallels that of a sage
homage to my delight with words
incur many a recipient to rage

against my swiftly tail lord
harried style of writing,
whence a reader needs to spend
much time flipping thru each page
of a dictionary or thesaurus,
which mental effort most
often does not engage,
who doth newt tip a fie
formality, thus experiencing virtual
and/or real fine companions

scanned or probably deleted
via tha eyes of another
to jump/kick start a friendship
with this nattering nabob
of nativity modest guy,
whose peculiar mien only his way
to greet with a literary "hi"
and nada Tubi put off per my
poetic manner well nigh
which petic penchant

with words I enjoy to apply
literary creativity and invite
brother/sisterhood a try
incorporating thought provoking
whimsical phrases flush
down into the behavioral sink
toil letting with his lukewarm
scottish matted trademark uber vapid wry
attempts at self mock re: puns - y?

I (d-u-y-e-e-r-93
at aye yo elle dot com) dunno!

Ah...the delirious, glorious,
and illustrious thought
whence never again
to cull demise and forever hibernate
feeling crushed by the egregious atrocious,
heinous, and nemesis, poor ring in of late
and thus this obituary epitaph of sorts
(no matter he will opt
for cremation) finds frenzied
strychnine, poison. or hemlock
appear savory to this pate

a chance pair of perusing eyes
may find this blurb unable to eke quate
this plea sprung from plethora
of purse son hull wreck - I rate
anxiety sweeps across
me mental nada so healthy state
which panic wrought from poverty
per his prone nouns mints uber
viz zit with undertaker tete a tete
of decades long bout

with a psyche riddled with angst
waiting for Godot - Beckett ting
this papa who **** courting
escape from the posse aye bill
misty eyed gorilla in the midst
of his own financial catastrophe,
he loathes resorting regarding pots ability
panhandling to help him get free
of pauperism, which haint no joke,
and finds scabrous reply

ample reason to still his life,
though ma lovely grown daughters
would suffer psychic injury,
and forever be psychologically
marred if aye did merrily
row me figurative boat
over the abyss prithee
and hope for instant death
of mine aura, charisma, and karma see?

Tis probably pointless n frivolous
to expect presume salvation
for this married sexagenarian male,
yet nothing this capitalist ventured....
could do no worse
as my psyche doth emulate dancing quale
for being nearly penniless
(in this cornucopia of good n plenti), and rail
ling against fate may bring derision
per an unpredictable scale
argh - doth hardly shed light
on my penurious travail
cuz thy current checking account
without cents nor sensibility
yammers x2c ******* gasps
with a death rattle does wail

boot juiced....maybe lady luck shall draw
the gaze of one philanthropic facebook peeper
(at least enough largesse
to stave off self destruction of spouse)
welcome mat would willingly
be laid out for grim reaper
to whisk me away -
so I kin become an eternal sleeper
though each surviving loved one,
would be inconsolable weeper.

so...with fingers and toes
clasped I fervently pray
this mongrel mutt means
no bone(r) to pick
only that natural animal desire
that libidinal longing
to cop you late need to slay
lest my lament will be oy vey
so please take me -
any which way
yay!

This blurb hunted and pecked out
from ma Perkiomen Valley
mike crow scope pick dell
(actually reef fur ring a computer
manufacturer asthma
***** fide ****** dank cell)
and spends his days of his life
(as the world turns)
where dark shadows lurk
along this edge of night
off in near distant hour alarm
summoning like a suburban church bell
from outer limits of twilight zone
this self anointed force
without raising cain quite able.

Ever since second grade
an ever stronger prescription
for nearsightedness donned my countenance,
cuz myopia (inherited courtesy
both parents) rendered me 'As Blind as a Bat' .

For some reason,
I wanted side arms
that wrapped behind the ears,
also known as cable temples
like those worn by Mark Smith.
a classmate of mine
where I got me some learnin'
at (Henry Kline) Boyer Elementary School,
where yours truly attended third to sixth grade
in the little hamlet that time forgot
and the years could not improve
of Evansburg, Pennsylvania.

Self consciousness found me
surreptitiously slipping the glasses
on and off my button nose,
when the need arose to read
what the teacher
(at Eagleville Elementary,
which school attended
the second half of the school year 1968,
cuz my parents moved
from Lantern Lane
in Audubon, Pennsylvania
to Level Road
in Arcola/Collegeville, Pennsylvania),
addressed as Missus Rittenhouse -
who interestingly enough
sported a body as big as a little house)
wrote on the blackboard.

Lack of writing down helpful readable notes
linkedin with sloppy penmanship
(on par with chicken scratch -
cluck...cluck...cluck...)
found me drawing blanks,
when quizzes or tests got administered.

Mein kampf hummed tunefully
or analogous to a ship of state
nonchalantly bobbing along
like a little buoy on calm waters
drifting totally tubular
within the meandering time stream of life
mostly receiving clean bill of health,
whereby I experienced
only the usual childhood illnesses
such as chicken pox,
measles, and mumps
additionally I exhibited
hypochondriacal tendencies

(after exiting childhood's end)
of course worse case scenarios imagined
worrying myself 'blue in the face'
regarding yours truly
(me) NOT experiencing
any major life and death
crisis of body electric,
but mental health brush with death
(a horse of a different color)
whinnied and nayed as anorexia nervosa
compromising, jeopardizing, and wreaking havoc
nothing short of renting asunder
body, mind, or spirit triage.

I vividly recollect
during school lunch yours truly
never ate anything
and at least one inquisitive student
asked and peppered me if my abstinence
NOT eating linkedin to religious reasons.
I could hardly escape some critique
of my person outside the cafeteria,
particularly when riding the school bus,
cuz Alan J. Herr and his ilk
relentlessly teased me

calling out when I boarded the bus
"four eyes" and "professor"
but once mature cataracts removed,
(courtesy opthamologists
at Kremer Eye Center - King of Prussia)
I can go back to the future
and cast laser beam light sabers
visualize a stun gun
emanating out these ocular orbs
and cast piercing rays
upon the head of those pesky perps.

Well stocked with
wordsworth lxiii numbered yesteryear
born as predicted by
bubba's zayda longtime seer
while in utero premier
ultrasound detected
smudged embryonic fetus
whoosh auditory proto language unclear
surprisingly enough sounded analogous
to murmuring... huh yepper sonneteer
vaguely resembling, yes

William Shakespeare
though burbling, gurgling,
requiring absolute zero noise to hear
kickstarting, reverently warbling
difficult, diligent, distinct yawping,
nonetheless reckoned as dérailleur,
viz swiftly tailored
inchoate anatomical gear
hurriedly styled pièce de résistance
yours truly born with silver dictionary
in his mouth, I f*'* swear

unusual biological phenomena
drew pediatricians far and near,
which (no surprise) determined
English major as academic career
matriculating upon immediately
exiting birth canal whip smart derriere
i.e. (ŧ§), spread like wildfire, where
media hounds blitzkrieg stunned to stare
not at me but bare
naked lady in no mood...ready to tear
away sophisticated audiovisual equipment

understandably on verge going nuclear
furious, (this told me later in life as here
say), she quickly (albeit groggy)
curtly demanded fair
remuneration, and milked
infant me as cash cow profiteer,
her eyes aglitter signaling,
shining, seeing... gold
let whoever sneer
earning money with initial gasp of air
freeing parents to live

within lap of luxury
world wide web sightseer,
yours truly received
royal carpet treatment everywhere
crisscrossing the globe
accoutered with most
expensive designer babywear
obliviously prattling, jabbering, gabbling...
invariably drawing throngs
across entire northern hemisphere
broadcast as podcast across atmosphere
all across the universe hoodwinking
convincing many of "FAKE" poetic story
concoction courtesy adept fictioneer.

******* hill re: by a bill yon votes
and bridged tradition (Abe Lee) linkedin
to present president; biden his time
trying to build back better
suspended crumbling infrastructure
hallmark of United States
transportation superhighways
tied railed planks
successfully spanned across country.

This revolutionary fella preceded by
Adams family patriarch giving rise
twin heir (plain lee gifted "Renaissance
Man") Jeff force'n without hemming
and hawing, (nevertheless sallying forth)
subsequently conceding nexus,
(nor horse drawn Lexus) of Colonial
power to Madison, thence Monroe
buttoned up as suitable candidate after
which younger Adams elected.

Thirty four followed Jackson's club
trumpeting (some Obama nib bully)
bushwhacking their way predicated
on faulty Algorithm, charming
charismatically with hint of Clint
like glint in eyes, blinding populace,
sans ray gun (Reagan), Car Tour ring
with peanut gallery in tow, affording
(unpopularly pardoning unfashionably),
a Jerry rigged nixed son, followed
by John's son tainted by stain of Vietnam,
but with said Southeast Asian debacle,
one Ken heady (sporting thick styled hair)
inherited an internecine conflict, essentially
precipitated, when Eisenhower hardened
political stance against any allies of the
Soviet Union, (sans The Viet Cong), and
pledged his firm support to Diem
and South Vietnam.

Now with preceding administration, one
harried true man unleashed advent of atomic
spectra upon Hiroshima, and Nagasaki, this
purported preemptive measure scary ruse
felt to thwart exaggerated Japanese government
threatened (military intelligence) scheming.

orchestration, and utilization,
a moss fungi (fun guy) attests his marriage
synonymous with symbiotic relationship.

Nostalgic acquiescence about fictitious life,
oblivescence about current travails
and reminiscence about
transcendence into utopia
prompts me to revisit livingsocial,
now that yours truly
among the grateful dead.

As a saprophyte,
the missus buzzfeeds off me lovely bones
once plump with excess adipose tissue
otherwise known as body fat,
a connective tissue
that extends throughout body electric
found under your skin (subcutaneous fat),
between your internal organs (visceral fat)
and even in the inner cavities of bones
(bone marrow adipose tissue).

Over the ensuing two score and ten years
after pledging our troth, the missus
(opposed with a vehemence
keeping her maiden name,
or even acquiescing
maintaining surname
with hyphae fun nation),
and yours truly at one time or another
from the day we met
until the present moment

invariably, intolerantly, intimately,
intentionally, intemperately, insultingly,
insufficiently, insidiously, insincerely,
insensitively, insensibly, inscrutably,
inquietly, injuriously, inhospitably,
inharmoniously, infuriatingly, infernally,
inexorably, ineffably, indubitably,
indescribably, indelibly, incredibly,
increasingly, incessantly, incalculably,
ineluctably molded unnamed spouse.

Truth be told, the grudging acceptance to wed
made indirectly and courtesy
unbeknownst and linkedin
to our unborn eldest daughter
about four months in utero,
when marriage date chosen
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
since yours truly and my then girlfriend
abstained from birth control
tantamount to playing Russian roulette,
and decided to let natural insemination
trigger conception between
twelve and twenty four hours after ovulation.

Neither of us the least bit prepared
economically nor emotionally,
which urge to procreate
superseded sense and sensibility,
and in retrospect,
I readily admit flagrant
negligent ****** recklessness
(no matter physical ******* monogamous),
and an adamant refusal to use prophylactic
or more commonly known as ******.

Though excited to sow seminal seeds of life
a panic stricken state afflicted me,
when consensual concurrence
to consummate copulation occurred,
nevertheless ecstasy at potential fatherhood
brought courtesy the resultant
unexpected positive result
yielded from pregnancy kit.

Back in the day libidinal longing
(in my pinion) wracked ****
of accursed celibate
Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe,
where merest suggestion
of ******* thoughts
hounded doggone muttering
dove head lettered man
all the way to Antioch
feverish pitch I could not block
found mine doodling ****
to crow night and day
without let up to dock
****** solitude a worse fate
than therapy zapping gray matter
with wave after wave oven electroshock,
a divine sterling erectile rod
hoping gallivanting frisky felines would flock.

Upon exiting side door nearest
to our single bedroom
(a few dozen strides to access said way
out apartment - complex edifice),
I unexpectedly encountered
(on August 30th, 2021
~10:15 post meridian -
née namely heard but did not see),
a small screeching creature
whose anatomical features it did splay

yours truly raced (fast as greased lightning)
back to our unit (b44)
breathlessly describing
frightful scenario to spouse
her skeptical response equivalent to naysay
ying, nevertheless found me burrowing
under blankets temporarily, silently,
and roughly exalted hooray
to release pent up fear and allay
uneasiness that encompassed mine psyche.

Hence... all plans to travel exotic lands
across the seven seas
versus going to zoo
(to befriend endangered animals)
went out the window made of
carefully decorated, engraved
and finished (polished) yew,
which wooden frame father made (who
taught himself carpentry - his real job
mechanical engineer at General Electric,
but he much preferred to build true

lee awesome contraptions, I
(his prodigal son) can attest
when yours truly happily did passthrough
childhood whereby papa built us
(three progeny - two girls and one boy)
a playhouse with chimney and flue
(accoutered with modern conveniences)
actually futuristic trappings, thus
other neighborhood kids knew
where to head and eschew
conventional trendy artificially intelligent
toys – batteries not required.

Hyperbole ye may suspect at thee above
and consider absolute zero
believability, yet exaggeration
contains more'n kernel of truth - hello...
honest to dog complex edifice arrayed with stove
and similar appliances
(all General Electric brands) forsooth

plus attractions luring garden variety bugaboo
such as the critter
which crossed paths me yesterday
finding yours truly helpless regarding what to do
unfortunately creature not soft and cuddly,
nor the least bit similar to bunny foo foo,
thence (as notated in the first stanza) hitherto
fast as these spindle shanks of mine
could carry very liberal minded Jew,
(albeit non practicing)
made immediate headway to loo
derived from the French phrase
'guardez l'eau', which means

'watch out for the water,'
a much less severe dictate
versus potentially rabid little beast new
lee entranced with human beings,
who mostly think themselves superior
to other living entities even
abhorrent toward one
generic nonestablishmentarian parvenu
namely me, who ofttimes doth rue
foregone opportunities,
which ***** and pierce consciousness
namely getting a dragon tattoo.

rather yours truly doth thrive
on keeping the ethos, mythos,
and pathos of Pigpen alive
subjected to eternal
abomination, brutalization,
condemnation, damnation,
emasculation, humiliation, ostracization,
who one day envisions himself
as a decrepit solitudinarian
an aging long haired baby boomer,

(I seriously contemplate donating
about a dozen inches of straggly hair
to locks of love, hoping
a stylist makes house calls -
since anticipatory anxiety
wracks these lovely bones
at the prospect
of setting foot inside a salon)
wherefore he might finally
cease to be a subject of derision,

but please do not chide,
a sexagenarian whose bruised ego
experienced more'n lifetime
worth of rejection,
whose first three plus decades
(approximately half my existence)
of mein kampf livingsocial I gingerly elide
where persona non grata of Charlie Brown
(essentially portrayed as a loser)
on his keister he did glide

cuz unkind behavior
demonstrated by Lucy Van Pelt
without fail always pulls away the football
disclosing her character,
who harbors spitefulness inside
earning her another point
of maliciousness notated
on the figurative blackboard,
when I chalked up and kreide.

The Peanuts gallery
populated pleasure reading
during mine boyhood
as well as the Little Engine that Could,
whose disposition evinced a solitary lad
never delinquent except one attempt
to get caught shoplifting a yoyo at Ames
Department store in Lansdale,
but other than that amazingly as all good
boys do fine.

Matter of fact quite few other comic strips
ranked as my favorite back when I read
the Philadelphia Inquirer Sunday edition
approximately two thirds
of threescore and three years ago
(approximately half life
of Matthew Scott Harris)
I cannot forget other comic strip titled
Andy Capp, Beetle Bailey,
Berkeley Breathed, Blondie,

Brenda Starr Reporter,
Calvin and Hobbes
Dennis the Menace, Dilbert,
The Far Side, For Better or For Worse,
Frank and Earnest,
Fred Basset, Garfield,
Hägar the Horrible,
Mutt and Jeff, Nancy, Pogo,
Shoe, The Family Circus, Tumbleweeds,
The Lockhorns,
The Wizard of Id, and Ziggy.

So many choices availed themselves
regarding how to while away
my leisure hours during
those fleeting twenties,
thirties, and forties of mine,
but yours truly (me)
frequently, easily, and decidedly
found contentment then and now
among the rank and file
of other not ready
for prime time players
soaking up newsworthy morsels
and if not reading aforementioned material
than appeasing the insatiable bookworm
holed up within corporeal complex edifice
housing these lovely bones  
cerebrally feasting on a favorite genre
possibly fulfilling hunger
for historical fiction
or miscellaneous nonfiction.

A cold wintry January 53rd, 2021
at Highland Manor apartments
picturesque snow covered landscape
safely ensconced within Unit B44,
we (yours truly and wife)
occupy bedroom and
television room respectively
comfortably numb and toasty warm
at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
courtesy climate controlled environment.

I practice crafting poetry
(seeking posthumous fame)
while the spouse busies herself
channel surfing putting
down remote control
after espying satisfactory movie
(Fatal Attractions),
about which she knows
every single detail,
and can rattle offer personal tidbits
about cast of actors and actresses.

Aforementioned regular routine
predictable until
onset rites of spring,
where warm weather perfect balm
to allow, enable and provide
antidote to existential woes
coping with being quarantined,
though sensing optimism
regarding president Joe Biden
green lighting living social pursuits
possibly revisiting
following favorite pastime.

Recalling contra dancing
as palliative against bashfulness
life as high school wallflower served me
without any budding female friendships
until lo… agent tulle nudge, yes
my mother over mollycoddled
then uprooted me
mein kampf familiar
bedrock level road terrain,
which venue offered groundswell

to blossom forth into
golden sterling resplendent rod
of natural equipoise,
(an unbiased opinion) and balance
with freestyle improvisational swinging motions
unchained from moors of formality
lit figurative saint elmo’s
Sesame Street Big Bird
winging fiery dance
allowing, enabling and

providing shy awkward self
during his young adulthood
to cast away four ever
self embroidered handsome
straight as an arrow
naturally high as a kite young guy
buzzfeeding like yellow jacket
liberating spontaneity
that je ne sais quoi joie vivre
clamoring headlong toward pollination
healthy packing heat overflowing

testosterone bin laden well nigh
erupting pistol (stay man)
toward opposite gender,
whereby bravado donned as key
to *** field of whet dreams
fostering initial albeit late blooming
roll in the hay hormonally
rooted rutting squeal!

specified such so as to issue a rhyme,
but proceeded as this scribe
didst *** linkedin with the cutting crew,
mow or less feeling grassy us,
yet not the least whirlwind will offset
my b52 coiffed Hair style,
or hirsute shellacked beehive type do
the idler wheel is wiser than the driver
of the ***** and whipping cords
will serve you more than ropes will ever do.

No matter from what literary website,
an unsuspecting reader will accidentally
stumble upon a ewe
fo' mystic impression
wilt shame burr lean ache
shift shape about myself
some accurate ledge
gin dairy cowed horsesense
about me will ensue,
especially if I sheepishly admitted,
this beastie back street

boyz to men iz a genuine foo
fighter toward this former
stone temple pilot, wildly whizzing,
gurgling in age inappropriate burbling,
dribbling, flickr ring for a goo goo
doll to dare buffer end me,
hub bee of piggish,
ham handed, bay kin a poetic slop hoo
might at this juncture
succinctly cease reading

prior to putting
finishing touches on ma igloo,
when the remaining
portion of this dippy goofy,
slippery when whet,
trippy treacle G.I. Jew,
who would, more aptly
**** sitter himself hub
horn hug ken atheist, boot knew
not a whit about Judaism,

nor any other belief paradigm,
yet does get fixated
(usually in the loo)
about philosophical ideas,
which yet to be revealed
abstract notion came to me
while enjoying a plateful of moo
goo *** pan, plus other Chinese food
(a favorite cuisine),
now aye will try to new

dill back to the initial pretext
found me drawing blanks
(no not shooting) – ooh
aah, this theme
within guttersnipe noggin
more difficult to codify
than one who ****
constipated and try'n might
**** hard tip poo
anyway, the general premise

alighted, and fired
mine gray matter cause
major cerebrum perilous jam up
with sudden crackling
star bursts forced
great mind over matter
to set brainy bedlam
in an organized queue
so while attention of yours
might be moderately rapt, this rue

stirring, hen pecked spouse
best stop digitally squawking sew
the ethereal essence can beak *** comb
brought to cypher awareness too
and in a figurative nutshell,
when doth a wordsmith
know when to quit,
or tubby pointed rhetorical question -
at what juncture does any artisan
more prolific than yours truly

reckon that his/her
faux matted masterpiece
can no longer be perfected?,
cuz further ridiculous tampering,
to Potschke, or play footsie,
would induce dedicated followers of mine
to undergo severe urge to wanna spit
or throw FAKE *******,
subsequently they would feel ***
till late head, find this schlemiel
to end this plotz to whit!

FINIS.

Impossible mission, nevertheless
I take figurative aim
to craft poem without
experiencing wrathful blame
avoiding explicitly, ignominiously, specifically...
referencing mine heterosexual counterpart
that infamous she,

whom did ruthlessly claim
yours truly as her husband
snatching mine happy
go lucky bachelorhood
two dozen plus decades ago
(revered singular status
belonging to me),

one latitudinally and longitudinally
i.e. height and weight challenged dame
during earlier years of our marriage
prone to prematurely ******* and exclaim
expletive laced epithets toward me
once burnt twice shy,
courtesy unidentified heartbreaker

nonetheless pledged
her troth and did coldly frame
wedded covenant predicted
on mutual (of Omaha)
perk hens pact regarding fidelity
abiding rules linkedin
with matrimonial adult game.

Henceforth any future
reasonable rhyme I crochet
with words must not mention
name of spouse lest she flay
these lovely bones
and verbally inveigh
husband hoot hook literary leeway
time gone by to broadcast blithely,
albeit electronically
which liberty not okay
the missus pointedly did relay.

No idea why personal details
(about myself) shared with zeal
(hoop fully to curry spicy reciprocity)
yours truly not exceptionally discriminatory,
when rusty cogs turn with much friction 
barnacle encrusted cerebral
spongy bobbing square wheel
likened to (nails scraping
across chalkboard) -
which action evokes screeching squeal

an artifact of yesteryear school days
seen courtesy thirty five millimeter
black and white silent newsreel
portraying parochial
(baby boomer) kids
analogous to well trained dogs did heel
good luck heading toward
principal office filing lament better off
seeking devil (who wears Prada
or the latest couture) to appeal.

Inxs of recorded messages  
transmitted automatically
to my telephone number
by automatic dialing device.

I turn off **** ringer,
and disassemble (carefully
as disabling a time bomb)
internal workings nevertheless...
telephone still buzzes
twenty four seven
eight days a week
automated telephone calls
digitally recorded message
perfectly spoken English

differentiation to distinguish
"FAKE" simulation
all bot impossible
totally immune to escape
gagging hospitable invective
electronic jawboning immunized
against antipathy, cruelty, enemy,
hostility, insecurity, pleasantry
Yukon run to tallest mountain
dive into Mariana Trench

get catapulted into
outer limits of twilight zone,
yet NEVER be free and clear
getting wirelessly zapped
with visual ad audiological
offal dregs and spam
(minus the green eggs)
oh... yes even after life,
while weightlessly
pinwheeling in limbo,

particularly during eternal sleep,
when dead souls repose
six feet deep
or corpse undergoes cremation...
yepper, infiltration into atomic core
blithely battered, jimmied,
cherry lee pitted, tweaked,
worse fate than return of Zombies
electrical essential existential
incorporeal surreal auditory ordeal

spurs indiscriminate human
to relish golden silence
spawning best selling novel
to flesh out fiction
Utopian treasured island story
winning unknown author
instant acclaim and glory
describing village people
livingsocial, free and clear
without annoyingly,

egregiously, infuriatingly,
maddeningly, quaveringly
vexing, nauseating, disrupting
blitzkrieg courtesy aggravating
trumpeting autonomous programs
hijacking brainstorming concentration
thwarting aim tug get back on target
(even when carrying on camping)
sundering coalescence
regarding colonizing black screen

aborted doomed genesis
of brilliant fleeting idea,
contributes to conspiracy theory
linkedin with ghost calls
thus one smart
generic garden variety
longfellow forced to
grovel along boulevard
of broken dreams
on a green day.

Any resemblance between above
hyperbole and living person
asked courteously by his name
of the human league,
I police tell the caller
purely coincidental!

No burlesque across the globe
upstages mother nature's emergent style
soundlessly donning and trumpeting
resplendent metaphorical pregnant Gaia,
whose all encompassing bulging robe
magnificently, albeit modestly evinces
matronly dame parading and sauntering,
she intimates readiness to give birth
regarding multitudinous flora and fauna,
whereby swath groundswell of color
and panoply of sound bursts forth.

A symphony with terrestrial
ecological community, which life forms abound
via natural laboratory qua nature,
especially at seasonal dawn of spring tide,
where multifarious existence can be found
carving out a figurative zoological niche
in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sound
artist palette of rainbow blended sights
assuage auditory and
visual sense pleasures respectively.

No gofundme donation required-
unless ye clamor to proffer expense
(toward fame and fortune
concerning one garden variety
long haired pencil necked geek
to regale sensational experience,
but before further lines get read
please be mindful
to take lock, stock, and barrel
of mine existential sponsor,
thus a brief plugged statement to
ɢɛȶ ʟɨʄɛʟօƈӄ ɨɖɛռȶɨȶʏ ȶɦɛʄȶ
քʀ0ȶɛƈȶɨ0ռ ʄ0ʀ ʟɛֆֆ.

Now back to regularly scheduled program
trying to entrance ye dear reader
incorporating titanic and tectonic processes,
(albeit all natural wonders)
constituting eight ways
to build strong bodies
bred courtesy punctuated equilibrium
nudging advantages to outvie
one living thing
versus another organism.

Winter of our (collective) discontent
alleviated courtesy pagan earth goddesses
prestidigitation delivering cathartic holistic
and poetic botanical balms,
which salve (age long in the tooth)
psychological wounds.

Show stopping stunning performance
stills lovers embrace
long anticipating nonpareil experience,
nevertheless straining credulity
of visual and aural senses,
where collective awed pinterests
silences onlookers evoking
masterpiece rendered still life
among webbed plant and animal species.

Yours truly (an amazingly,
gracefully, and markedly modest
passively aging baby boomer -
formerly introverted long haired
pencil necked geek),
prattling wordsmith doth behold
nostalgic memories regarding father
(Boyce Brandon Harris)
long ago lapsed decades

during papa's prime time
many years past when complacence
existed about joie de vivre,
and considerations about mortality irrelevant,
where soothsayers promised
our family staying alive for eternity
few and far between instances found me
acting, exhibiting, illustrating brazenly bold
behavior, said rare spontaneity
the exception versus the rule,

hence following poem crafted
an endearment to those who begat me,
resorted to discipline, but NO spanking
ever since mama did cherish her little boy
scores of years before she passed away
at her death hands went limp and cold
as a shy lad his maternal and paternal parents
their virtues he extolled
contrary, now healthy sexagenarian
born of sturdy genetic mettle

rumor claims I suckled magic potion,
cuz courtesy to preventative medicine
mother followed advice
of one Carlton Fredericks,
renown radio commentator
and writer on health and nutrition
ne'er did mine lovely bones buckle,
even when skinny body crushingly embraced
into loving maternal fold,
without doubt mama adored motherhood
and brood of three offspring

harmonized, memorialized, pampered...
the hardworking de facto breadwinner
late twenty something handsome groom fêted
born April 9th, nineteen twenty nine,
Brooklyn fortune teller travails foretold,
when the late Harriet Harris, not so gold
din as totally bewitched, she gamely evinced
controlling authoritarian versus
crooning, marveling, and warbling
regarding once "little monkey" - me,

which pet name no longer applied
shucked off brought to abrupt halt
as yours truly grew up,
and decried childhood's end
I experienced objection to thwart growing up,
and latched unto anorexia nervosa
countless moons ago,
when I biologically, emotionally,  
intellectually, and sexually transitioned
into socially withdrawn young man,
once indomitable omnipotent

mother/son bond ex post facto lost hold,
where once applicable theme
exemplifying Harris household
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
dramatically, markedly plummeting
formerly measurable appreciable tolerance,
similarly short tempered patriarch
( ~6'2” ~ 200 lbs at prime)
over any five members,
especially toward singular male offspring

timid, meek, and demure (effeminate) me,
essentially ruled the roost
regarding Harris household
sole son characterized vis a vis
presented passive resistant
outward nonestablishmentarian mold
worst case scenario
would hypothetically witness
Matthew Scott Harris
spending longevity old and feeble minded
at 324 Level Road

outliving parents, pets
(comprising inordinate
number of dust bunnies) and siblings,
both caring and concerned girls
(an older and younger sister),
the latter whose globetrotting exploits I envied,
nevertheless yours truly
speculatively imagined himself
to have outlived anyone polled
even Methuselah, where mein kampf
blissful, fanciful, nouveau poet
nearly long forgotten boyhood charade,
facade inlaid masquerade

analogously crumbled like broken scaffold
attaining centenarian years old -
faintly maintaining umbilical stronghold
considerably surpassing mommy dearest,
born November 13th, nineteen thirty five,
yet moments before her passing
she barely audibly apologized
for occasions she did reprimand and scold
retaliated against grim reaper,
he whisked her diseased riddled body away
after completing approximately
seventy plus orbits, all told.

I experienced interminable
relentlessly psyche burning acrid
tormenting, teasing, and talking funny
bullying vulnerability compounded amid
courtesy of split uvula set me apart
alien as a Druid livingsocial
during latter half of twentieth
and first two plus decades
of twenty first century
rather a speech pathologist
informed legal biological guardians

regarding Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic
minor congenital defect when
attending sixth grade at
Henry Kline Boyer Elementary
i.e., submucous cleft palate, aforesaid
whereby every day akin getting scorched
by some "NON FAKE" ironclad grid
me, this twangy nasal kid
my undersized and socially
withdrawn demeanor contributing
to existence tumultuous and turbid.

Extreme shyness demeanor
did heavily exhibit
as if burdened with a yoke
linkedin with anatomical diminutiveness
punctuated with aforementioned
pinched nose adenoidal sound,
quite obvious when I infrequently spoke
conveniently availed himself
as cannon fodder i.e. scapegoat to bullies
as a socially withdrawn pre/
post pubescent slowpoke.

Yours truly not necessarily
romantic fellow at heart
more accurately methinks myself
lame and inadequate sorry excuse
for reasonably rhyming spouse,
but courtesy after sipping

(née - chugging away
like snorting caboose)
Welch's sparkling white grape juice
maybe accompanied with entree couscous
generic and garden variety
run of the mill by the floss husband
ordinarily fancy free and footloose

feigned being inebriated
noisily squawking - imitating
deafening honking lunging goose
creating ruckus whereby resultant outcome
whereby wife playfully threatened me
to hang me (all choking aside) with noose,

(I needed to gibbet a chance)
as ye can accurately dead deuce
nearly turning unnatural shade of chartreuse,
thus I immediately called truce
after hiring team of animated experts
Rocky the squirrel
and Bullwinkle the moose.

Once upon a time I
bouncing up and down
analogous to yoyo
rode proud on his high horse whoa
considered himself, albeit kiddingly

as pure as the driven though
fell prey to basic proto
human barking animal propensity
desire under the Elm you know
all to well that biological urge

goading species to reproduce
when consummated minus
utilization of prophylactics
to aid and abet begetting embryo
unborn or unhatched offspring
in process of development,
particularly human offspring during
period from approximately
second to eighth week after fertilization
(subsequently termed a fetus).

Back in the day
gathering rosebuds while I may
thy pure motive to lay
me down with barenaked lady
futile (yet Prince Valiant) attempt
to placate seething hormonal secretion
surging testosterone seemingly went away
(I strongly suspect absent libinal longing
courtesy side effect half dozen medications)
bodes ill with spouse
marriage doth severely fray.

(Any resemblance between the following humorous account and real life circumstance tis purely coincidental).

Went off for hair raising shindig
donning noggin of villager in Nigg
(historic county of Ross-shire,
historic region of Ross
and Cromarty, northeast
coast of Scotland).

Somehow postiche crossed the big pond
once belonged to magician,
who could create static electricity waving wand
across artificial tresses colored blond,
which wizard in disguise did abscond
with priceless peruke
(archaic word for periwig)
cuz said luxurious locks
once belonged to Dolly Parton.

Though I embellished
and expounded from original
poem still probably not very clear,
nevertheless toil onward if ye dare.

Upon occasion the missus
doth plop squat foursquare
on her plump derriere
brandishes scissors to keep hair
closely cropped to her scalp.

Once upon a time,
not very long ago somewhere
over the rainbow
within the Milky Way Galaxy,
she managed plying
chutzpah, guts and moxie to scare
connive, finagle, inveigle,
et cetera, an unused wig another
tenant at Highland
Manor Apartments here

(Compact, low slung,
and well maintained
dwellings by big booted (size 14)
previous onsite natural marvel
then property manager Kevin Bair
him with shiny pate,
the former onsite jack (jilted)
of all trades handyman balladeer
crooning of Jen Tra Fide

units made like new
for those in despair
low cost affordable renting facilities
though not by a near
and/or far cry ritzy as
luxury places named Bel Air,
but energy efficient air
tight, quieter than a cemetary).

Anyway, zee spouse I dare
say casts a shadow clear
the size of Rhode Island,
and chanced to acquire
ratty noggin head gear,
she did need toupee joost a dime,
and quickly realized shear
hideousness, sans "FAKE" hirsute

wig required ample
tender loving care,
thus she betook
what closely resembled
skinned hide of a distant forebear,
(or perhaps def leppard)
to Liberty thrift store,
but encountered manic tear

roar, when enroute,
to said rectilinear
structure, out car window flew wig
landing inaccessible risking life or limb
mighty size wife easily deflected career
ring vehicles (imagine
mini measle lee Andre the Giant)
despite drivers abruptly halting to stare

as pint size super woman
gingerly didst ensnare
tire worn and tread full sorry excuse
for those claiming going bald unfair
even if renaming opposite
of being hirsute male/female
pattern receding hairline
all the way back to nape of neck.

Interesting how odd
distribution of atavistic fur
witnesses enough coily kinks
donning nether regions of body
flowing to ground within a year.

Ideally yours truly prefers
a she/her who never got prosecuted for a felon,
yet who most deaf fin knit lee  
possesses sound blinding killer instincts
think miracle worker Anne Sullivan
signifying rendering phenomenal success
with one female named re: amazing Helen
exhibiting discerning admirable qualities
constituting intelligent witty male
despite his/him sports haunch size of a melon.

I gently beckon inspiration
for dalliance with mother tongue
English Language, each
singular lettered manifestation
familiar to yours truly symbolized
by panoply, sans twenty six letters,

whereby this patient wordsmith
luxuriates, when writer's block
yields sudden gush,
nee burst of creativity
dissolving impenetrable wall
mental log jammed impasse,

discourages literary ambitions
dashed exerted forcefulness
'pon cerebral terra incognita
counterproductive grip locks
figurative drawbridge begetting
utmost frustration allowing egress

and ingress constituting obstructed surge
temporarily disabling free and clear
transmission between ****** fount
barricading abundant bajillion ideas
silent at loggerheads clangor and din
analogous between unswerving enemies

prepared to fight till the death,
exhausting mental energy expended
attempting armistice with futile results,
hence quixotic oft repeated
time tested metaphor
i.e. deliberate pressure foisted

upon seat of aging cerebral matter
inadvertently coloring fist sized *****
at least fifty shades of gray,
versus unexpurgated brainstorming
linkedin with unfettered restraint
breeds favorable prodigious ideas

jotted/ typed stream of consciousness fashion
modus operandi favorable to engender
receptive access, asper (gas) excellent see
i.e. entrance untrammeled leeway
with minimal clash of opposing
titanic invisible entities
thus, aye abandon battering ram

to experience positive outcome
giving good n plenti profuse flood
unstoppable geyser spewing
plethora of appealing material
to arrange into cogent affinity,
energy, magnanimity and synchronicity!

Affixed with appellation Boyce Brandon Harris,
who helped beget thyself and mine two siblings,
and equally out of the question
to avoid remembering our (said) papa
with advent of father's day 2021.

Averse toward crass commercialization
purportedly touting the hardy laurels
regarding male parental figure(s)
allowing, enabling and providing
unconditional kudos to each and every
virile, retractile, and ******
opportunistic marriageable goodfella
poised to strike twenty four seven
three hundred sixty five days per anum.

Though less personal than celebrating
anniversary of birth
said modification acknowledging
universal acknowledgement of daddy
once accorded as
stereotypical "bread winner"
touted all across the Earth
buzzfeeding countless cooing mouths
linkedin whose gesticulating
baby fingers and toes
animated with mirth.

Special occasions accentuating
family in general or parent in particular
unleash floodgates of sorrow
demarcating onset of initial grief
(October 7th, 2020
regarding death of beloved father),
yet these unexpected melancholy bursts
punctuating the absence of
dad also generate
instances for original
poetic/ literary creativity
or reference (albeit self plagiarism)

Boyce Brandon Harris – Bright Brooklyn Bruiser
(alternately titled: Zayda born April 9th, 1929).

E'er since birth,
his daring didst not abate
the penultimate most spectacular
concrete incontestable product
constituting biological offspring
developing, fashioning,
and incubating chromosomal gene nee us,
he unwittingly didst create

encoded whence he got conceived
approximately begat circa
July nineteen twenty eight,
and hence upon April ninth

two thousand and eighteen
cometh denoting exceptional great
ness among kith and kin innate
awareness to take stock and celebrate,
how a series of fortunate events
commencing with a date
to Harriet Kuritsky
(at that time, yet to pledge her troth)

accepting storied handsome fellow,
whose constitution sturdy as "forest" timber
(definition of groom) to be lawfully wedded wife...
until death do them part)
unwittingly marriage didst emancipate
my mother, who met a awful, cruel
and terminal undeserving fate,
which tortured demise, the grim reaper

gladly, gleefully, and glibly
held her steadfast
thru death decreed grate
a permanent life sentence,
she vehemently did hate
and fiercely fought tooth and nail
(unimaginable to me,
thee sole son), how
agonizingly bitterly clearly irate

such suffering wrenched, wrought, wrung
August marriage permanently
cleft by malicious, nefarious,
and opprobrious tongue
no heroic measures, only lamentation slung
upon the livingsocial clinging,
where grief rung

every last ounce,
though thru each passing year
thy mum gone seventeen orbitz
round the sun, that shear
ring raw emotion
still persists in concert with lear
ring grimace of deathly hallows, 'ere
obstinate heart ache lessened now
since papa found bliss
in which to steer the prow
of his four score and eleven
aged ship of state row
wing (or more or less peacefully drifting)
berthed in consonant with vow
wills - a staunch spirit didst wow!

and waxing poetic lip schtick adorned with moustaches

Swarthy, spooky, scary carved
pumpkin faces thickly materialized
out of thin air
as Halloween holiday loomed near
yes... just an innocently naive fickle kid,
who easily did scare,
attended Henry Kline
for 'most every year

elementary grade school
no matter I abided every rule
and colored within every line
turquoise blue favorite jewel
blackening every other tooth
affixing moustache, sideburns,
and beard upon every face kooky rule.

Nor, never stepped on sidewalk crack
to break mother's back
wonder who believes
such poppycock alas and alack
I haint superstitious
nonetheless steer clear of any black
cat, nor walking under any ladder,
especially on Friday thirteenth.

Fear made ordinarily wavy hair
poker straight stand on end
not a muscle I would bend
unfamiliar sounds, smells, and sights
tingling sensation along small hairs
spine - shiver me timbers would send
courtesy paranormal phenomena
this then lad could not comprehend.

To this day, no ghost of chance
finds your truly daring to partake of seance
essentially scaredy cat soiling mine
spongebob squarepants
skittish regarding supernatural realm
best play with Lincoln logs or tinker toys.

Dog bless those who search out
eerie sound and/or sight
or reed macabre genre
upon dark and stormy night
kudos to those talented
gifted, blessed... to write
blood screaming horror
stories, where adrenaline
spurs one to take flight

unwittingly, unquestionably,
unknowingly, unforgettably... right
into path of haunting spectre badlands
housing ghouls, ghouls, sprite
full hobgoblins spellbinding sight

lurk dark shadows at edge of night
shapeshifting costumed masquerade
zealously, thrillingly, blindly
looming larger in height
lumbering, lingering right

before me scenting how afraid...
desperado whose becomes white
as an albino - blood ******* vampire
sharp as razor fangs bared ready to bite

into tender warm succulent flesh
i.e. cannibal's delight,
yet try as I might
feeble literary effort ne'er achieved
to concoct witch's brew where fright
induces blood curdling scream,

thus much prefer to pen lame
lines, where skeletons make no bones
red dully underpaid gig employees game
to pocket chump change
with absolute zero intent to maim,
thus unlikely to devour thyself
or provide selfie before asking name

of groveling, mumbling, sniveling... alien,
a Dylanesque rolling stone
harkening from outer
limits of twilight zone
accursed series of unfortunate events

spirited as token "scapegoat"
penniless and unable to phone
home, a stranded extraterrestrial,
whose familiar turf grown
dragons holed in their dungeons.

Ever since a young lad
irritable bowel syndrome
in my humble pinion wracked
lower abdominal area
gurgled and ballooned gastrointestinal tract
(similar to following Colonoscopy preparation
slated for January 24th, 2024
at Phoenixville Hospital)
posterior issuing
vis a vis borborygmus crooning
in tandem and/or subsequent expulsion

eliminates ***** waste
witnessing sprinting to bathroom, this scribe
(against time) and jet propulsion
of sphincter muscles'
spasmodic desperately raced

unpleasant symptom of anxiety/ panic attack
twas a stranger to this rhyme stir,
who now finds himself barrack
cay did, and held hostage, where thoughts
about mooning doth not crack

a smile, or baring derriere tubby more exact
me up - matter of fact
no source of laughter, nada one ha intact
(despite usual presence of chuckles
from this fan of good humor) high jacked

for what seems a maternity leave
from all mothers tub be
thus envision, a bevy of pregnant gals
aching with cramps he
ving (times square of the hippopotamus)
with ****** fully dilated key
ping alert, when mother nature ready
to pull up all stops (via umbilical cord)
to deliver nee,
sans bundle of joy, followed
in quick succession with after birth re:
placental sack, hence
said effort to expel newborn
the closest scenario
experience ill suited to dance
afflicting this anxiety prone
lovely bones, an all expense
paid (seat of the pants)
accursed bane of proletariat grants
no truce to attend finds me
pampered asper this rants.

Germane generic geeky guy
about one twelfth (knight) enroute
to complete lxv luxurious Earth orbits
experienced chronic, demonic,
physiologically hegemonic...
irritable bowel syndrome
without shadow of a doubt,
yet aforementioned plight
the following lines of poetry
will not be about
problematic posterior plague.

After contemplating discomfort
linkedin with said medical condition,
yours truly realized aftermath
of Hurricane Ian concerning
those who weathered category storm
suffered a fate much worse
subsequently, I took a brief hiatus
typing lines of impossible
to understand questionable verse
challenging proclivity of one
yawping wordsmith being terse

yeah right you probably think
crowning glory upon
mine nonestablishmentarian literary endeavors
hands down majority of anonymous readers
would immediately qualify
his swiftly tailored prolix harried style
unquestionably, obviously, and irreverently
imposing expansive vocabulary as perverse,
no doubt hurling expletive donned curse
at me with every stinging breath they took.

The previous writing endeavor
attached catchy title
at outset intent to brook
unspoken protocols analogous to river,
which overflows banks swallowing
entire metropolitan areas
categorized as biblical flood
believed to occur once
every five hundred year
exhibiting impact greater
than storied facebook
(as personal side note,
said creation a markedly popular

social media platform)
influencing great swaths of populace
allowing, enabling, and providing
user trademark friendly look,
which ineluctably draws innocent naif
into webbed wide world,
where coders fashioned
innocuous virtual pitfalls
many a stalwart devout
online interoper figuratively snagged
courtesy tempting virtual,
lock, stock and
withal ingenious scandalous tailhook.