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Twenty four years ago –
February 4th, 2023,
whose existence begat
by this dada and da mama aye
revel in your bursting at figurative
seams viz maturation, and know by
chatting over the telephone, your aura, charisma,
and persona finds me blinking back tear ducts
ready to lose water works i.e. cry
at how fate gifted this papa, whose existence
would be devoid without you, and
purposefulness undermined
if the loss of such a daughter as thee

(one young lady
more valuable than words can spell),
a reason to live would be shipwrecked
with psyche marooned to die
such emotional devastation,
could never be quashed
even as gums mouthed or uttered fee fie
Foe fum – Jack
(of Beanstalk storybook fame),
would also lack will to live,
(yes as would the giant), thence,
this grunting, groveling, and grieving guy
forced to traverse
terrestrial firmament like rob zombie – hi
King over a vast boulevard
of broken dreams, cuz I

(re: this humdrum Harris heir),
his soul asylum inconsolably reign
if irrevocably punctured akin
to mortally wounded crane
willpower to defeat death,
could not be staved,
stanched, nor stopped,
but tis fool hardy (mill Laurel Lei)
to allow, enable, or invite
darksome, irksome,
or unwholesome thoughts,
whence best for this brain
to rejoice in your awesome,
lithesome and winsome transformation

into a beauty, a non-biased commentary
I cannot resist to exclaim
an angelic, beloved and charming progeny
endearingly frolicking thru
the meandering time stream,
perhaps stopping at Donny brooks edge
where bucolic flora and fauna doth frame
thee, (maybe such infinitesimal instant
per one directional hull story of your life
via doth camera cap cha) if game
to pose as a gamine hipster inspiring
a jazzy kindling mosaic – type meme

before resuming skinny dipping back
into the waters of life,
whereby experiential arcade
beheld like a courtly table
adorned with many a fancy feast to BuzzFeed,
the sights and smells before yar senses
might appear as a charade
boot upon scrutiny, ye exhibit hesitancy
to inch closer comfort food
gluten free and NON GMO
beckons so ye haint a frayed

to take measured
steps further into verdant ever glade
puzzled at such cornucopia
cobbled together and laid
without the presence
of any handy dandy blues clues maid
in America, this novel
panoply pastiche of prideful quality eats,
and thoughts circulate sans who paid
for such resplendent sustenance,
whence this Edenic garden ye strayed

until…without, a life size topiary
supremely chainsaw creation
viz green foliage (a hedgerow
carved in the likeness of thee punim)
all of a sudden a burst of doting,
and fawning family and friends
Salutes a touching, unanimously
voted wondrous young lady
no amount of riches would anybody trade
HAPPY BIRTHDAY…a shout rings out
with glory and scale
of your worthiness
no mass out weighed!
After extorting pound of flesh
lifetime humiliation drummed into captives
hammering indelible nightmare
no amount of therapy can expunge.

Lifetime trauma inflicted perpetrators wage
dead bodies littered makeshift triage
death and destruction
exhibit super fresh killing fields,
where sally forth set pathmark
to abominable gut wrenching
ghastly hollow hellscape.

Haunting horrid macabre scenes assault,
batter, clobber, et cetera the senses
death construed as mutual
(of Omaha) collateral damage
fallout populated by zone of dead bodies
littering apocalyptic landscape
rendering spooky morbidly fascinating,
especially from safe vantage point
bajillion miles away
whereby yours truly
hunched over his Macbook Pro laptop

glanced the headlines without further delay
aid convoys moving into Gaza Strip
a tepid hip hip hooray
impossible mission for
overactive imagination of artist
or writer to capture bedlam and melee,
scaring up heavenly sight
for grim reaper soirée
repository for skull and crossbones
as arid (extra dry) winds hasten desiccation
whistling repartee (even from afar)
faintly resembling mourning of Zalay.

Countless hungry ill clad masses beg
the question regarding
purposefulness of mortal kombat
screaming in agony against cutthroat
belligerents who gleefully gloat
laying waste besieging
ship of state and emergency lifeboat
senselessly bombing spelling
likelihood for peace on earth remote
silencing the lambs and yellowthroat!

Methinks spouting protestation
against loosed strife,
courtesy demoniac **** sapiens
where talking heads strategize foo fighters
pointless exhalation of breath
sabotaging, shortchanging, siccing,
squashing, subjecting, et cetera
innocent bystanders ultimately hastening them/
they to untimely and unfair nasty,
shortish and brutal death
linkedin to personal choice of deity
and attendant religious shibboleth.
Ransacking treasure trove
of maximum headroom.

To remedy a fate worse than death
or contracting one
of several viral diseases named pox
permeate heavy shut tight door
with numerous deadbolts
and sophisticated locks
and impossible mission to out fox
analogous to roach infestation,
who favor nesting within custom made
Roper men's shoes brand name Docks.

Upon prima facie first blush
me mind's eye all atwitter,
sans long forgotten
"FAKE" ****** exploits
set mum (chrysos anthem) all aglitter,
boot like short order cook I hapt tubby
quickly realized trumpeting collusion,
a near fatal collision course
with Das scribe's antimatter
caw zing friggin insomnia

finding ma noggin scrambled
likesome lithesome cockamamie critter
whipped into frenzy
like battered butter
holy grits, alm manned
in fight of ma life
cause I haint acquitter
baa (jaw edge), ah woe cup feeling
hedged hog extremely bushed 'n bitter,
this raging red bull inside me mind,

now body wheeling wickety wack,
lichen to moss elf gut seasonal litter
bitta asthma - insides
got balled into wah racket
like quietly rioting unfetter
herd plain tennis (see) hens,
gone south tub bespatter
ear rilly jawboning jabberwocky
reducing gray matter,
and all flesh sundered

into meaty platter
to pulverized, irradiated,
cremated... faux fluffernutter batter
analogous tummy Aunt
Jemima's famous flapjacks,
she fantastically fashioned better
than Betty Crocker
tossing spatulated glommed
**** suitable as bonesetter
high as the Taj Mahal,

while she merrily jabbered,
her native patois singsong blatter
all this inaudible clatter
muffled 10,000 maniacs mad as a hatter
madly clangorous dinner cowbells
aroused bacchanalian sybaritic skitter
ring jitterbugging fantasies
of barenaked ladies doth splutter
as bedraggled, frazzled, grizzled...poetry
like cocky rooster that did stutter!
Hence donning entire wardrobe,
Saint Nick outfit including,
while trumpeting think spring
argh only about four plus months away
lest some big bird willingly
takes me under their wing
undiscovered since I won't be peaking,
nor quacking duck like

prompts yours truly xing
to tropical rainforest
playing Tarzan and swing
from a vine, while Jane and Cheetah
(sometimes billed as
Cheetah, Cheta, and Chita)
spend hours shopping
upon returning home stock

pantry and house zing
cupboards stacked chock full of
goodies fit for average king doubling
up as Santa Claus gaining
weight courtesy snack foods like
Yodels, Little Debbies, Ring Ding...
thence outsize tummy doth happily sing
Christmas Carols practicing

all year round, especially
*** *** *** wing
nsync with crops germinating
bending, stooping, watering... weeding
abiding techniques organic farming
naturally whenever possible mission avoiding
distributing, generating, impacting
ecological damage, viz carbon footprint

cheerily, humorously proselytizing
landlubbers (land lovers with lisp)
courtesy sweat of one's brow reaping
robust healthy crops - only allowing
enabling, and employing...
eco-friendly deterrents
bajillion green thumbs up
approved by Greta Thunberg

greenlighting her inspiration
to awaken global warming
hence first dibs when harvesting
season this after she subtly,
nonchalantly, enviously... seen eyeing
analogous vis a vis
hungry critters salivating
(think Pavlov's dog)
to savor NON GMO eye watering

delectable, honorable, laudable...
yumzook produce bespeaking
please help yourself
fast forward months later finding
das overly dressed mistir shivering
despite heavily bundled
nature's vegetarian smorgasbord
brutal coldspell faintly recalling
pitch perfect weather eventually returning.
circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled
nostril follicle – activated via an itty
bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger
than a mole luck yule set in motion a
chain reaction, whence mine sensitive
proboscis honker (wheeze - hilly little
bridged fine tuned pug nose aroma
sensor), got unexpectedly in gauged
(in holy matt trim mo’ knee) to achew,
and eschew pledging troth (in favor of
hanky-panky) found this chap feeling

phlegmatic because an endless string
of faux allergic emanations, which
upon subsiding left me throat rather
raspy and voice some octaves deeper
akin to a coterie of celebrated jumping
frogs from Calaveras County, California
took residence and refused leaving
stranglehold upon math rote upon
awakening from a hard day’s journey
into night across the outer limits
of thine twilight zone resurrected

during slumber, yet upon awakening
felt much refreshed and hungry enough
to eat a horse – nee – make that forced
***** – gulped down within a hoof
n hour and now recount how back in
the day when zooming thru the Lilies
of the Valley (whooshing mass elf tubby
an aeroplane) frequent bouts with uber
twittering snapchatting sinus attacks
besieged crinkled, doppelganger expeller
for germs hunting with his clean X

instantaneously for nasal passages
to enter surreptitiously the fecund
effluvia dripping, oozing, and  seeping
clear liquid as wintry cold air looses
droplets from out a near frozen nose,
which bloke knows not why frigid blast
stimulates gallimaufry of sniffling
to spurt into a volume of one after
another gesundheit donning, snorting
trumpeting unwittingly confusing
Canadian geese, who misconstrue

the honking from midway centered
****** *****, which angry birds
in tandem with flock of Seagulls
quite perturbed to espy one curmudgeon
chap clapping hands over (what feels
like Smashing Pumpkins on face -
resembling a Puddle of Mudd)
in an effort to stifle subsequent gummy
emissions, which residue expectorated
with heave *** shove
schnoz el tov blowing into snot-rag.

This thick mucous essentially
the defense mechanism of a healthy
body electric to restore biz zee nose
as usual, which for this mild mannered
liberal leitmotif from the chronicle of one
matted nattering nabob of nativity attests
congested mob functioning like
a well lubricated machine, yet
for the life of me, nary a handy dandy
blues clues evident as per, how
the human entity empowered
to steamroll over
any reasonably annoying bugaboo.

Ah, now if only a similar innate
defense mechanism arose
within the mental health,
that would be a supreme testament
to thine atheistic tasty mints of miracles
minus the attendant pharmacopeia
of this, that or some other drug to aright
skewered psyche (of this contemplative,
emotive and intuitive literate outlier),
whose sixty three plus eight shades

of gray matter went awry and skewed
toward tipping point (to cope with ordinary
cares and concerns of an uncertain
whirled wide web) found the bulk
of his life riddled with a joe king,
gun slinging tub back ha chew win,
bard **** wordsmith,
who doth newt like to utter any
cryptographic crossword
toward friend or foe.
As a hypothetical argument
yours truly doth not aim
to be unfortunate recipient
of misguided, misjudged, and mislaid blame,
nevertheless I make dubious claim
and baldly recede (ha – hair ye, here ye)
from heady assertion
to make bold statement
such that literacy supersedes numeracy,
between said measurable

ambiguous, exiguous, and irriguous
confusing, perplexing, puzzling pillars
of cognitive, demonstrative, emotive,
facilitative, generative... intelligence,
hence not consonant
far from the madding crowd,
until the return of the native
and perchance ludicrous
to some above average dame,
who might be prone to exclaim

contrariwise, and squarely frame
mathematics more powerfully
(id est - greater than)
basically versus stringing words together
yielding cogent, decent,
effulgent, fluent... result
(that may not add up to a hill of beans)
crafting supreme unequaled poem
predicated upon cockamamie scribe,
(one whose unexcusable

laughable puerile mien
modestly trumpeting his outstanding talent,
hence he expects and deserves
posthumous lettered fame),
née, he already
appropriated, leveraged, wielded
volumes of his speculated worthless material
synchronized to be broadcast
immediately upon his demise
(after the grim reaper

steals dem lovely bones
to avoid self embarrassment)
avast treasure trove awaiting
distribution across webbed wide world
(including all manner
of social media platforms)
after discover re:
visa vis artificial intelligence
courtesy agency of smart machine
to custom make similar
facsimile thereof brilliant literature

where good things come to life
to emulate and evoke
mental landscape and thought processes
of one humble human
Matthew Scott Harris
while supremely, soundlessly, seamlessly,
echoing beloved refrains
from computer generated verses
that would be indistinguishable
from Joni Mitchell's
original song titled the circle game.
Gnome hatter heroic measures taken
moost ludicrously asinine,
nonetheless hoop fully
me legendary penta meat herd bovine design

of modest fellow (me) will endure as divine,
no matter not one ****** poetic line
pertains to original (above crafted)
storied title of mine
completely buried under

thick pronouns hubble verbiage,
I honestly profess opine
precious time frittered away
resultant effort feeble and lame

no matter best college try
with top notch smartest swine,
but... belabored effort
got hogtied and shriveled on metaphorical vine.

Molded analogous to an oh my word
leaning tower of Pisa vase -
brandished (think) by humongous sword
fair complexioned blonde haired aery hen Nord

slapped with two lofty titles
(scapegoat and dunce),
whereby classmates ignored
insecure (missing mommy dearest)
as though linkedin courtesy umbilical cord.

Methinks, cuz me belly button
an innie versus outie
(former and latter both actual medical term),
a stretch, but nevertheless
with active imagination (mine)
doth envision coveted navel as

symbiosis for thee
parasitic Alaskan bull worm,
which notion might suddenly
captcha your attention,
and find thee to squirm.

Anyway aforementioned gobbledygook
attempting to describe theoretical
quantum physics incorporating parasitism
(yea kinda regarding figurative
Trojan Horse that snuck
into inchoate being eventually took

over in utero corporeal
essence Matthew Scott Harris) hook
line and sinker now necessitates sudden look
ever since more'n lint accumulated
within above mention round
little circular cranny and nook.

Yes... moost likely correlation exists
during course of nine month home,
when placenta didst
buzzfeed embryonic fetus
one need apply figurative fine tooth comb
straining poetic credulity
in an effort license to flesh out silly poem.

Which original intent hours gone by
meant to sketch out
(for rhyme without reason)
how yours truly nearly
got held back and waylaid
inclusive K-12 and

every single intervening grade
a curse 'cept for sixth year o primary school,
with student teacher Miss Rainbow,
she did not upbraid,
yet perhaps now she metamorphosed
becoming fossilized stodgy and staid

unlikely our paths will ever cross,
while both of us unwittingly
march to our own drummer
nsync with inexplicable
circadian rhythms obeyed

here (unbeknownst why)
palms perspire profusely
while sequestered at 2 Highland Manor Drive
hermetically sealed within apartment b44
one of many properties owned
by Grosse and Quade.
Death no longer jars, nixes,
and rattles mine sense and sensibilities
without pride nor prejudice
no matter (even with marginal persuasion)
wit and wisdom of Jane Austen ill mixes
with what emotional state my poem fixes.

Father long since journeyed
into afterlife destination alone,
October 7th, 2020 mid afternoon
with Earthlings ministration did attone
where night enveloped
and date stamped
his lovely bones
rendered devoid of any groan
courtesy Roxanol (morphine)
and Ativan finding him prone

to experience painlessness, and no
his dying wish, plus last will and testament
won't include burial and/or headstone
cuz, he wants to integrate and did intone
cremation as ecologically friendly option
scattering ashes to parts known
someday... yours truly will too
succumb to the dead zone,
where misery in the ascendent.

Stark reminder to live fully an urgent yen
to live life fullest between now and when...
ever yours truly exits
stage door left, perhaps ten
twenty, thirty... eighty, ninety, one hundred...
additional orbits around sun

a remarkable human phenomenon
(me) courtesy mine burning ken
bequeaths modest minute man
near accursed immortality
longevity totaling even
score of years counting (crows)
and father time among his brethren.

Distress unavoidable which mortality doth bring
nevertheless, tis impossible mission
to eradicate pain and suffering, which doth sting
consolation assuages grief, viz prayer
and buttressing coping with spiritual wing
profound absence augments biting zing.

Biological reproduction begetting offspring
lodging within uterine abode
subsequent in utero development
regarding accretion embryonic node
biological algorithm doth automatically encode,
nevertheless longevity invariably affected
no doubt courtesy lifestyle mode.

Random crapshoot luck of the draw offspring born
genetic blueprints also decree existence transient
parents emphatically teach progeny
got no choice must inform

daughter(s), and son(s) ineluctably forsworn
demise bound with birth certificate presents horn
of dilemma conscious the next generation
granted only so many Earth orbitz around sun.

Once grim reaper deftly
communicates I must bid adieu
eternal hasta la vista to kith and kin
please don't shed a tear for generic
germane admirable bad company crew
member, albeit healthy as an ox
never got the flu,
an atheist doubting thomas

though genealogy records
incorporate many a cynical Jew
at least one legendary antiestablishmentarian
gleaned within mine purview
non-prodigal son edging closer
to the afterlife while livingsocial
within mortality queue
shunned, ostracized and banished to Xanadu.
Our beloved youngest daughter Shana Aubrey
(endearingly called “Shayne Punim”)
still feels under the weather,
with symptoms centered around gastrointestinal tract,
though she lives in Bend, Oregon
(experienced her pseudo autonomy
before she completed eighteen Earth orbitz
approximately three and a half years ago).

Said healthy apple of mine (myopic) eye
begat between me and thine married mate
conceived approximately late April/early May
nineteen ninety eight
lived with my youngest sister,
whose husband George Andrew Dunning

both willingly, readily and eagerly
accepted role as proxy parents
while the child we bore
matriculated (methinks -
but don't quote me) – as sophomore
at Redmond Efficiency Academy
whereat high school diploma she acquired.

Near impossible mission to track her down
plus this papa desists unnecessarily intruding
aware how he never healthily underwent
loosed apron strings, but overstayed his welcome
never choosing apropos time
regarding painfully breaking home ties.

Sadness manifested nsync with empty nest syndrome
I rarely succumb, whereby sentimental bouts
finds yours truly reminiscing father daughter bonding
less infrequent episodes getting teary eyed
versus managing to converse with progeny
on adult level, nevertheless vicariously

feeling despair when thee aforementioned offspring
when she describes being physically unwell
with abdominal cramps, bloating, nausea...
ultrasound hinted her malady
inherited courtesy the missus
namely Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD).

Her psychological and social progress phenomenal
since being biologically gifted to us
February 4th, 1999
diagnosed with developmental delay
(more specifically high functioning asperger syndrome
closest affliction to garner medical coverage)
nothing short of an amazingly graceful
metamorphosis from irascible toddler

to mild mannered young lass
hmm... okay a few bumps along figurative road
when above named girl afforded us challenges
preceding maturation and eventual bonhomie
especially when late blooming darling
manifested cognitive faculties
(albeit acquired abilities fraught with challenge).

Appreciation abounds for extensive intervention
Montgomery County (Pennsylvania) Intermediate Unit
marks commencement where flesh and blood
(concerning mine and the missus begat)
bundle of pride and joy
despite tasked with being legal guardians.
Once again, yours truly
dishes out his regular dose
of literary gobbledygook
even Count Dracula
would not even bat an eye
nor give me his evil curse,
butta I avoid tempting him
courtesy fanged hook or crook
(albeit harmless) look
regarding feeble effort I undertook.

Don't forget hour hands
of clocks spring forward
sixty minutes 2:00 AM
in Pennsylvania and other states
bracketed within eastern
Eastern Standard Time
on Sunday March thirteenth!

Yes roundabout third eye blind -
doggone (con seeded)
melon collie month every year,
one garden variety ***
(inconvenienced truthfully)
precariously balanced
while tethered to Earth hoop fully
explains himself, hence following mishmash
divulged courtesy unnamed generic chum
purposelessly manipulating
space/time continuum hold over.

About 107 three hundred sixty five day  
increments elapsed since
United States adopted
Standard Time Act of March 19, 1918
confirmed existing
standard time zone system
and set summer DST
to begin on March 31, 1918
(reverting October 27).

Rat a tat tat doth lightly drum
upon mine sixty plus shades of gray matter
i.e., a sensation of jet lag
(with earthling out of balance -
an inconvenient truth)
as if aboard Herbert George Wells,
time machine – and trapped
within The War of the Worlds
impossible mission to escape
at warp speed from
this horrid station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling ticked off and glum
in no mood to craft reasonable rhyme,

nor be leer re: cull (lyrical)
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits
sin tide, and express mood
as picky hewn *** hum
fortunate rising son, this chronological
seismic shift nada wide, ah assume
nonetheless, mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics

comb pluck hated off jangling
black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and boring
into quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement
for emergency convoy,
when pitched to and fro
hither and yon from
sea to figurative shining sea.

Graham ma mother earth glum
where live yik yak wired vanguard
trulia tried optimism to hum
nonetheless, swallowed down
reprising Tom Wolfe
("O Rotten Gotham — Sliding Down
into the Behavioral Sink")
her cremated inert ashes boxed
for more'n eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum

bling bloviation, once worth
matchless peerage, now pitched numb
lee into morass
of temporary confusion, where plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart pilot ***
man strait ting and bickering
with Lilliputians slum
bring within islets of langerhans

defiantly thumb nose,
where body, mind and soul
weeknd strength (viz a bully did cower)
hence mister clock,
who got hijacked
3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax and abdomen
diminishing in power

wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis
space/time continuum did devour.

Black hole (sun) event horizon indeed
kept lock step as das joint mill hoard
sucker punched the band
(re: oh speed) wagon of father time,
who riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic energizer bunny
fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans
toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.
128 · Feb 2021
Righteous smart left hand
Short lived amnesia found
his highness (ha... ha... ha... hm)
drawing a (figurative) blank
today January 54th, 2021,

when the misses asked yours truly
to access Verizon voicemail,
me noggin made a clank,
no doubt forgetfulness potion I drank
helps explain the circumstance
spilled (er spelled) ernest and frank.

After uttering expletive
stronger than tarnation
sought after digital information
re: 1-888-234-6786, I handily
pressed telephone keys right away
courtesy five fingertips,
and thumb expecting standing ovation

course I practiced self abnegation
and adamantly refrained
exclaiming these
bone a fied digits of flesh
the best most intelligent in creation,
my memory recalling telephone numerals
more difficult then acquiring k-ration.

Maybe you - anonymous
dear reader unwittingly applauded
(courtesy butterfly effect -
vibrations felt in Schwenksville)
impacted one garden variety human
comfortably nestled within dwelling
functioning as his remote workstation.

Nevertheless, your friendly martian, i.e. me
(from the outer limits
of the twilight zone
ofttimes analogously scurrying
like dark shadow creeping
along the edge of night)
somehow either discerned

(felt, heard or saw)
aforementioned reverberation
unbeknownst to yours truly,
thought he detected, and
felt atmospheric perturbations,
which I automatically fantasized
indicative of a strange being
housed within alien nation.

Pray tell - soundcloud I sensed
twas thee, a faux Earthling,
who telepathically communicated
to mine overactive imagination
please be courteous and befriend
plus promise to whisk me away

to never never land,
regardless whether cultural heritage
of population constitutes
a cross between
Alsatian, cetacean,
Croatian, claymation, Dalmatian,
Haitian, Thracian, et cetera.
Despite the temperature being five below...
these fingered handy limbs
awash with profuse sweat
dripping palms analogous
to a ****** busted gushing water main.

Mein kampf analogous
to a self made prisoner
who cannot escape being terrorized
and tortured within invisible
hermetically sealed walls of air tight prison
regularly hunted down
courtesy malevolent daemons
blood curdling deathly silent screams
echo within the sound of silence.

Earlier today some jokester
(like a batman out of hell
came round boppin
like some robin
after their diet of worms)
riddling mine psyche
into a war torn zone analogous
into a veritable no man's land
heavily strewn with deadly explosives

detonating deafening explosive
rife with volatile anxiety,
I felt hunted and targeted
like a common criminal
forced to scuttle
meager barebones existence,
and gladly plunge into an abyss
unbeknownst to me
on par with Dante's inferno.

Hours after grueling life and death battle
keppie (in Yiddish a lighthearted
and endearing way
to refer to a head or forehead)
severely suffered bruises and lacerations
courtesy familiar enemy
(known to me donned
as trumpeting evil
doppelgänger barren of virtue)
relentlessly sadistically and tyrannizing
mutilating corporeal flesh
until flayed muscle and tendon
abandoned as ****** heap.

Visitation of cruel taskmaster
(omnipresent every waking
and sleeping moment of hellish
fiery brimstone existence)
repeatedly brutalized yours truly,
no matter I did plead for mercy
for spirit who usurped eminent domain
to please cease and desist
punishing life lessons
making a cameo appearance

after a reprieve of temporary truce
to drive me towards the maws of death,
yet stopping just shy of beating
the living daylights out
generic lovely bones genetically assigned
to one frazzled sexagenarian,
whose hellish existence
nearly brought to an untimely end
when victimized fellow
subjected to a maelstrom

of suicidal ideation
when a mere adolescent lad
and days, weeks, months...
years, decades, scores
of ragged orbitz round the sun
chock full of accursed torment
barely alleviated courtesy
nine prescription medications
authorized by credentialed nurse practitioner
predicated on symptoms of social anxiety,

dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorder
absolute zero relief
against wanton depredations
rendered ineffective today
the seventh of June
two thousand and twenty four,
hence a feeble intent to communicate
insufferable beast of burden
wracking one figurative rolling stone.

I managed to drive to and fro a short outing
dodging, hedging, lunging away
from slippery grasp of nemesis
attempting to pull
at sorry these excuse for legs
nevertheless seriously lacerating epidermis
only to realize, the horrific killer
left his tell tale signature
with ****** phalanges
dangling from wrists linkedin to my arms.
127 · Feb 2020
Ominous nighttime foray
Crow's claws carrion campy carping
nsync nocturnal teenage mutant ninja turtles
analogous to scuttling
(think) browed beastie boys scarab beetle
brandishing sharp small scabbard swords

delightedly digging daggers deep
into deadened prey
rotting roadkill repulsively reeking
formerly (mere moments ago) once
fancy free and footloose

happy go lucky creatures
perhaps instinctively squirreling away
scarce winter rations
animals oblivious to danger
(i.e. despite matter of fact

courteous attentive driver)
former obviously caught within headlights
(high beams blinding) crosshairs
deerly beloved critters
natural longevity instantaneously doomed

unsightly splayed internal guts
displeasure welling up
against... me long time
licensed vehicular operator
(within keystone state – Pennsylvania)

loathes unintentionally destroying
moosed abominable creature
self anointed ingenious species/
genus **** sapiens
debonair bipedal hominid

eradicates, euthanizes, and extinguishes
innocent kickstarting life within blink
ousted arbitrary dint of virtue
smug simian ruler of realm
sowing seeds of her/his destruction,

not necessarily strictly,
cuz she/he unable to brake,
nor swerve away within timely fashion,
but brainstorm gifted
harnessing collective intelligence concoct

weapons of mass destruction
in lockstep with environmental exploitation
dangle the very survival
various and sundry (extensive) precious
living things unbeknownst to them

will soon become extinct
rendering highly radioactive
oblate spheroid leaving not mushroom
except opportunistic trumpeting

donning guise of: parasitic braconidae wasp,
fruit flies, cockroaches and et alia yon
mummichog, scorpions, and Escherichia coli
for jump starting Earth biota.
Neither fame, nor fortune sought,
sans this anonymous wordsmith,
whose quirky pastiche (no matter
evokes collywobbles, when risky
business undertaken to spill forth
most confidential personal woes),

broadcasting a heart of darkness,
Joseph Conrad might find quaint-
lee amusing, & considerably less
far reaching encompassing than
his (former) humanity ink home
passing (just one heir iz all seek

king soul full asylum), versus us
storied author, (not me), whose
didactic éminence grise, moreso
attributed, thee now esteemed
Polish man of letters to leave a
nonpareil earning, deserving, and

crowning legacy far greater than
yours truly, could ever hope for,
though as iterated with opening
sentence, neither renown, nor a
bucket load of money motivates
this anonymous scrivener, he me

rilly aspires to clutch ephemeral
notions (yes some themes recur
more than once), nonetheless a
euphoric exuberance arises, no
matter, one or more pairs oven
ranging unknown reader's keen

eyes scowl at this petrified disc
ore dent fountainhead, he dares
alluding to his saddled beasts of
burden on par with shrugging,
colluding, bearing, et cetera atlas,

perhaps presuming this measly
mortal strives to trick up ersatz
scratchings asthma grandiloquent
(albeit, "FAKE") Magnum Opus, nyat!

This informed cognoscenti disavows
any haughty, lofty, pretentious, etc.
thinker only enjoys waggish badinage!
photographs rarely doth me justice boot at least some idea will be available if aye seem appealing enough to kiss. boy george, i will try to maintain a thorough lee good convivial over tone so police pardon moi, who calls out justin timberlake time this hermit tick lee sealed hominid dwelling metallica regular rolling stone sans placid yet poison end herman hermits stung by the scorpion human league this abba ca dabra purported - vee lad putative culture club virtual puddle of mudd digital glop, nor conclude me crud cuz, this olda boy - by george wants 2b yo steve a door miller bud jist hole dejure sly and the family stone horses that wanna prance n let there be dragons, seals and crofts me fair lady gaga cuz u auto let my *** pistol gofundme 2 see eddie money far hay, how duh name of dis swiftly tailored tar nation did ya got a hold - don't be afraid e cat nor slink away like a def leppard, fur mebbe i wrote cha from this utter alias name from zee station here or maybe at my previous abode while sipping tea? enjoy a glass of vintage wine don't let the rush o time induce necessity to reciprocate with one or more lines for your aura, charisma, enigma variations align to evoke an alluring, captivating, enervating charm of a gal, whose electronic presence felt as like an animal farm-ville replete with picture perfect barn, and chicken coop where foxes befriend each hendricks without harm dis here buoy i.e. stanley steamer doth newt goot any piercings and no tat twos any where, boot not bothered by a gal covered froom head to foot, or...one with my name i.e. matthew scott harris 'tho no emerald, ruby sapphire, nor flash gordon in the pan could ever sway me away from living a short span that would allow, enable and offer at least a millennium where we can take a spin in my car a van actually, this bloke drives a 2020 hyundai elantra, which revving engine silenced guns and roses without inducing your stomach 2 turn and skin appear to turn green, when most would agree this mutt spouts a meaningless pro verb whose poe it tree haint superb with no intent to perturb butta sprinkle your monitor with some savory her band...also ye need not worry this schlemiel ***** trained habit upon georgian bush doth politely curb. witness this somewhat inn o 50 cent pennywise thrift, nickelback, dime a dozen face no bias, boot moi christened name, would be matched by equipoise ****, and amazing grace becoming a worthy friend within the milieu of virtual place who could disguise herself as being an alien from the human race perhaps our egress living **** seems light years away in an acme safeway, wholefoods, et cetera and secure distant virtual or real space so if intrigued to learn more send bits o digital feedback in binary code or across the heavens some skywriting message these eyes (e'en though tired like twin led zeppelins) will trace. i wish (as u2 might also desire as belonging to the human league) to feel that palpable poison us scorpion stinging pearl jam metallica making egress viz in living color deep purple reigning village people. this beatle browed (harkens to the black crows of Nazareth) that sound akin 2 rushing train of pleasure that courses thru an entire being (during black sabbath) on account of welcoming frequency to explore journey toward nirvana sans writing as the mental foreplay toward...inxs letting this red hot chile peppered beastie boy playing with one bare naked lady. even if something real and tangible a possibility, you could be disinclined to step up to a closer degree of intimacy, perhaps based on seriously involvement with a significant other since progressing thru the creed dent shul of many emotional/ spiritual trials and tribulations. no need from me to resort with insistence (vis a vis induce any hype or pressure, yet once in a lifetime golden finger red opportunity) to experience one direction of joey vivre enjoyment of me as feigned bad company. police - kanye kim e sump tin faw free swiftly tailored made oh kay tee perry up so i can go gaga over ma dear lady.lettuce both induce glee juiced send n email 2 me 3 doors down with inxs of pearl jam shutters no beginning nor plea cuz ah already rote in ma dire straits pledged yar troth can, yippee contrived virtual toy story qua ratatouille poetic brew could materialize in2a likely chance such an idea prods me 2 shrek out with excitement & dance just in case a glimmer of prospect in the park exists. this self anointed bard dislikes formality, hence i present good humor skills, which hopes to enhance this chap who offers poetic expression uncommon in france. he sets sights on sand fran sis go. take a glance 2 help dis intuitive **** sapiens sharpen mental acuity like a lance bite size bit torrent word play might cause ye 2 soil pants interpreting hodgepodge as rave & rants. even platonic rapport would buoy positive stance intent worth b friend ding, 2 sway au currant series electronic charge affect hypnotic trance 4 consideration 2 advance. I betcha never red an intro duck tory reply like this quacker. i'm an ink blot from bic pentameter typed o'er electric wires boyish looking blood muggle father up in years, (whose nonpareil courage 2 face Voldemort, which exploit does tire), and 2 luv lee young adult girls want him 2 sing miles away from the choir 2 prevent game raw bits of yar self 2 acquire frum a boyish chap dreaming excitedly 4 grandiose ******* interludes joyful kindle bound by pages o love, who lives within perkiomen valley, penna, but, yukon only text. postscript nose one: would you care2 become my bride no joe king nor do i chide please take me away alive or freeze dried or sere this buck hits hide, which lil maximus m butted pill grims pride moon thuntz later whipped mir cull o joy n pure writ tin pride. postscript nose two: i noah nuttin bout witches r warlocks boot feel spellbound with magic dat mockshard science and knocks said solid ******* principles that hocks some basis in astrology n such early learning blocks of humanity - now swept away like chicken pox virus, yet those un-named discoverers of matter allow artificial satellites capable to establish docks far removed from gravitational force when (keep this on the qt), those spacecraft lobbed into cosmos base sic lee from a potion of balled up soiled red socks void where prohibited by sign language or pop yule lye vox. unlike my personality to come across like some forceful chap ling go ring, ******* buster keaton being ****** will buoy us alight if we take to some invisible primal grunting wing from - this average male member egret, who rem members when we first met and consider thee a queen for this rolling stone, who emails (then abduct) me via the net adieu. Bye. chow now, this mwm will await pleasure like when ye text me - if willing, ready, eager and able create r hard woo n intimate ace cee dee cee zip pity doo dsh fable enjoying your cuntry villa mossy two lipped gable ****** sans the medical terminology whispered to thee when voiced per phone where airwaves crackle, snap n pop like mayhem of cars or babble heard at tower of babel via telephonic cable or rsvp tap text message to me a dope gang pull chose er this label the offspring of one great great great...grandmother named Mable who adorned herself in horsehair woven from her thoroughbreds kept in a golden arched stable housing a large equus shaped table.
getting fitted for a new pair of dentures
at Liberty Dental in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania;
The tab picked up courtesy
Aetna Medicare Advantra Cares (HMO D-SNP).

Unfortunately said outcome
represents the exception
(regarding measuring success or failure
in the school room or work place)
rather than the rule,
whereat scattershot academic,
and employment history
reveals mine curriculum vitae
chock-a-block extant
with poor scholastic performance
and termination (as if pierced
with a terrible swift sword)
from one job after another respectively.

I made an absolute ZERO effort attempt
to score high marks or earn kudos,
no rhyme nor reason why
yours truly rarely
if ever sought to persevere,
and essentially did not try
though forever dog gone tired
donning figurative dunce cap -
a pointed hat, formerly used
as an article of discipline

in schools in Europe
and the United States—
especially in the 19th
and early 20th centuries—
for children who were disruptive
or were considered slow in learning,
(where classmates or other employees
assailed ready made fodder
made snickering snide remarks
in tandem with

swashbuckling sword play - nah
akin to the three musketeers -
barred from Mars)
toward extremely socially withdrawn boy
whispering under their breath at a lad,
who owned an inferiority complex
the size of Pennsylvania)
exhibiting faith no more in self
at a painfully early age
found him eager, ready and willing
to allow, enable, and provide

ripe opportunity for others to ply
name calling and bullying,
experiencing trauma analogous to
British POWs ordered
by their Japanese captors
to construct a bridge
of strategic importance
over the river Kwai
but never did tears of sadness
simultaneously emanate
from left and right eye.
courtesy Fluoxetine hydrochloride

Fluoxetine Hcl (C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective Serotonin
Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,

and obsessive-compulsive disorder
the above symptoms
profoundly experienced by yours truly
said prescription medication
seriously impacts sleep (mine).

Debilitating panic attacks
wrought (particularly years gone by)
physiological displeasures chiefly constituting
vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration, adrenaline
coursing thru body,

whereby Prozac (brand name regarding
aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable, unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, jackknifing... functionality
hijacking life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Essentially yours truly experiences
dilemma analogous to sleep deprivation,
cuz ofttimes upon arising,
I feel utterly tuckered out, exhausted, bushed...
thus zapped body, mind and spirit

ill suited to physical,
mental or spiritual endeavor
subsequently lovely bones (mine)
(pine to join grateful dead)
rather than feebly kickstart
lame effort to write, read or meditate.

Thus respecting Sir Isaac
Newton's first law of motion
a (human) body at rest
inertia keeps said entity at rest.

Interestingly enough as
daylight doth wax and wane
casting dark shadows upon urbane
countenance buzzfeeding hidden reservoir
exerting estimable energy
decreasing arduous strain

therefore purposefulness,
I seek renewable resource to imbue
garden variety generic
doubting thomas and ordain
him (i.e. me) with spontaneous

magnificent grandiloquent enlightenment
ala Orson Welles Citizen Kane
laughable comparison linkedin
with story extraordinaire quite insane
September 4th, 2020 insight one can gain
perchance even coaxing passable poem
from deep within Matthew Scott Harris' brain.
amazingly graced yours truly -

And the missus earlier today
December thirtieth two thousand nineteen
ah... charming angelic gal heaven sent
voluntarily drove us from CJ's
1405 S Township Line Road,

Royersford, PA 19468
to 2 Highland Manor drive
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania 19468
upon overhearing conversation
whereby our 2009 Hyundai Sonata
necessitated replaced alternator.

Thus toting another mortal
(worth her weight in gold)
random act of kindness to behold
I felt incumbent to repay,
yet no money in billfold
thus random stranger
need be given and/or told
pro bono favor, lest
good nature within me will scold

Matthew Scott Harris,
perhaps even exact chokehold
regarding being recipient
exhausting list to enumerate,
yet nonetheless manifold
instances since boyhood
until thyself languishing
and getting farblondjet and old.

Found friends, Romans, teaser
countrymen... (think Julius Caesar,
by William Shakespeare
if alive, a very old geezer
occurring in Act III, scene II),
perhaps also incorporating Ebenezer
Scrooge as greater dramatic pleaser.

I feel farblondget, farchadat,
fardeiget, and stymied
as cumulative intercessors
when this schlemiel in need
especially when a wee thing
how eldest and youngest sister indeed
countless occasions far exceed

ding dewey decimal, emotional,
financial, remuneration recompense
such focus on self, I willingly concede
at this age (scoring few till orbitz) read
ding those earlier years of mein kampf
in retrospect this bloke now freed
with less self centeredness and greed.
Rudder than trigger, provoke,
incite..., voodoo curse
necessitating emergency visit
courtesy doctor Demento or his nurse
methought best to craft (airily)
nonsense sickle verse
yikes! maybe iamb
steadily getting worse

as poetaster wannabe,
which prognosis bodes ill
and p'raps best **** sitter
underwater basket weaving
enlist as water boy re: bucket
brigade for Jack and Jill,
hence imagine yours truly
amazingly gracefully dipping quill

within inkwell exerting intense utmost
control to keep right ting hand still
to pen employment
query expressing thrill
and natural born talent
to hand dill
you can easily envision me
balancing bucket fill

water atop noggin donned gone down
appellation trail resembling fountainhead
strengthening neck muscles till
yours truly capable
to shoulder and shrug Atlas
alas especially beneficial
in case arsonist kindles conflagration
preparation guaranteed courtesy fire drill

dashing hither and yon, to and fro
even at expense resembling
beetle browed fool on the hill
nonetheless earning reputation
continually increasing numbers
balancing full buckets with nary a spill
leaping lemur far and wide
globetrotting yawping shrill

excitement acquiring nonpareil skill
experiencing pride without prejudice
(nodding to ghost of Jane Austen),
perhaps launching startup Lil
Buck Kit Waters - drumming up business,
expanding, hiring, kickstarting franchise

oh... wealth estimated at least trill
yon, helping non antagonizing peep hill
drafting, modifying, updating... living will
in case I kick bucket unexpectedly
distributing liquid assets as good will.
This sole jeering, albeit grace
full soulful foo fighting - base
sic primate approaching - at a pace
faster than prefer
     hubble even lace
sing electric shoes to
     evade senescence - aging case
closed, asper near

     ring finish line,
     nope, no exit,
     (not even with Jean-Paul
     Charles Aymard
     Sartre) to displace
non negotiable fact
     of life and death,
     a blink'n, wink', n

    nod in sacred space
time continuum,
     quaffing unforeseen
     adventures extant
     within Alsace Lorraine
regarding germane
     human league race,
whether master fully baiting,

    goo goo dolls,
Barbie included, who enviably
retained hourglass figure
     hood never display trace
of aging, always beast
towed with fields a twitter with
     my little “chickadee” face,
nor akin to me,

     when solitary lad
     didst pretend (imaginary)
     beastie boy played chase,
while girls made believe to
     no longer remain chaste,
viz primitive rued
     amen tree snapchat,
     shutterfly, and instagram

     future memories glommed
     courtesy once upon
     time this "mama's boy"
     only brother, now ace
sip ping his herbal
     elixir night cap suffusing
     warm glow to face,
this while count

     ting black crows
     nsync forever
    longing to kiss with
     heart felt being brace
sing against unrequited love
     succumbing to gravity,
     and unable to erase
ravages of aging

     (YIKES) completing
     last two plus months
     regarding LIX
     orbitz riding roughshod
     thru ethereal aerospace
recalling early boyhood snippets

no idea why, when taking a
    mister bubble
    bath with siblings,
an elder and younger
sister nonetheless!

Heaven's (to Betsy) dis allow
wing danger fields vow
wing to protect and bless
     beasts and children – endow
wing inadequate livingsocial
     egads, fore-fend, now
a days such simultaneous show
whirring, or bath,

     asper in above - flow
whir a sad comment
     aery on humanity,
     when one cannot,
     but be faulted bestow
wing unforgettable sibling
     camaraderie making
     a splash together -

     holy cow
"big brother" watching quickly
     contacted and how,
hastening to doorstep
     child welfare pow
were fully advocating
     (nee demanding)
     legal custodian to bow

with demands...,or else...
     get locked up in tow
handcuffed if in sub
     ordinate or cause row
dee ness regard
     ding custody of
     minor, no go
even though dependents

     only freshly crow
wing out of toddler
     call robin hood,
     to help post bail
    necessitating scraping dough
such nonchalant
     activity, would grow
into flagrant ****** abuse know

tub bull lee i.e. ******* poe
tent shill strongly predicted,
     especially **...**...**
Christmas holidays,
     where queen ****
     scent shill average Don Joe
Jacob Jingleheimer
     *******sits on Santa's lap,

     (a veritable stranger),
     this practice oddly enough
     acceptable to status quo
ordinarily kids
     should think "whoa"
upon being accosted, confronted,
     detained...and NOT slow
to run the other way pronto!
Monstrous disembodied giant hairy hand...
reached out thru Macbook Pro
Lenovo external screen
"no way can this be real,"
I muttered to no one in particular.

Bug eyed, slack jawed, yours truly froze
petrified as an insidious wrist took rat -
manifested arm - matured
into huge fingered palm meadowed beast,

reached out thru cyberspace,
the likes of which garden variety club
roguish poor trait pal mystery,
aye never saw before since
which can easily cast spell.

Immobilized with fear
hypnotic trance
rendered me immobile
nsync king fast into
an hub bomb bin hubble
likeness of very same entity.

Entire body electric (mine)
courtesy dark shadows
suddenly rendered me into
phantasmagorical multi dimensional

gruesome garden variety golem,
no longer cowardly (lion of course)
bear with me, and play along,
and also bull eave tigers
live in Tony neighborhoods.

Actually spookiness made
avast improvement upon
mine former physiognomy,
this flickr ring quick
assessment surmised courtesy
hesitantly exploring, qua tactile
alien features comprising faux paws

linkedin to Neanderthal being
over laying inferior features (mine)
plus pluperfect poetic opportunity
without rhyme nor reason
(ugh questionable place
the word palimpsest fits).

Thus Spake Zarathustra
yawping, plucking,
engendering... binary rhythm -
imagine dragons chiming
2001 a space odyssey theme
and protohuman (actually disguised actor)
appearing within opening scene.

Chewbacca look alike
or his doppelganger,
(albeit pint size version
standing seventy inches),
nonetheless stark improvement

versus geeky, nerdy, ugly...
born this way poker face chap
emboldened to frighten
bully wannabe and/or their ilk.

****, another daydream
proved "FAKE" thus
dashing hoop dreams
and condemning one lone
deplorable basket case schlemazel
to experience nightmarish gallery
courtesy outer limits of twilight zone.
artist, dragon and gangster extraordinaire

Written September ninth,
two thousand and twenty one.
Reposted exactly three years later.

Here at 2 Highland Manor Drive
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually all three people
linkedin to each other courtesy
Dissociative Identity Disorder
(Multiple Personality Disorder).

Wiccan up to mystical alien way
I raptly listened as she didst soothsay
scanned -- din heavy yen reference
about paganistic folkloric history
regarding Sweden and Oslo (also) Norway.

The missus dubbed
aforementioned young gal "curvy girl,"
a zaftig smart young woman
super talented self taught herself
to draw, sketch, and paint.

Only unmarried millennial men need apply,
perhaps someone who hails from buckeye
state - ideally above average
humorous gallivanting fellow
plus somewhat meshuggeneh *******
Louie garden variety
wealthy eccentric recluse
who doth blatantly defy
establishmentarian paradigm

you rarely espy,
cause he stays sequestered
about dozen doors down
from (femme fatale) ha
said alluded to chick named
three faces of
eve vent jewel one named Jen Fry
easy on the eyes
courtesy me, a generic guy,
who experienced amicable chat

referencing aforementioned lass
the first encounter with her
found yours truly saying "hi"
devoid of ulterior motives
only casual acquaintanceship did I imply
cuz even if this former bachelor
(got married twenty fifth of July
nineteen hundred and ninety six)
hypothetically decoupled,

cuz the age difference between us
quite substantial qua aging baby boomer
born two years after Bridge
over the River Kwai
filmed - then rocked to sleep
courtesy Brahms lullaby
if fain to sire offspring with lass
(young enough to be my daughter)
kiddos would witness their papa to mummify.

Our friendly communication
peppered with structures of silence
coasted along with zest
and dialed up quite lathered dialogue
betwixt us I do attest
mutual comfort level quickly established
between yours truly
and said attractive beefy babe,
who possessed killer thunder thighs
shaking the entire firmament.
Impossible mission, nonetheless
eschatological, diabolical, critical...
dire straits betokens armageddon.

Come Tuesday, November 3, 2020
mandatory voting obligation to oust
horrible malevolent commander in chief.

Spanish and English writing on border wall
bespeaks impending apocalyptic windfall
weapons of mass destruction concomitant ashfall
brinkmanship ticks doomsday clock, hence the call
muster civilians and military troops coup to marshall
tuckered bands overthrowing pathological
megalomaniac haint your
homegrown garden variety apprenticed screwball,

Née commandeer of human abuses free world oh God
this exclamation ******* yours truly house atheist
runs ruinously, reprehensibly, rampantly roughshod
scaring out bejesus within winkin blinkin and nod
land of powdermilk biscuits and raw bits promises
to become ground zero predicated boneheaded clod.

Atrocious, cantankerous, egregious,
grievous, ignominious... dispensing
most every venerated, ushered, touted,
sacred, revered, pronouncing
progressive amendments dead
on arrival blithely shredding to tatters

hard won reforms since Fred
Flintstone days of yore shelving
codied, ratified, sanctified... shed
jeweled important legislation,
plus Russian musk cows to wed
Putin on the ritz.

Blasphemous, cantankerous, deleterious...
execrable folly... doth seed
subsequently begetting and breed
anarchy, chaos, hell, plus helps
foment pernicious, ominous,
noxious, malodorous... misdeed

pitting one against another creed
internecine warfare, where liveried
troops don and trumpet
(auld) alternative energy
fighting gear powering, i.e. ac/dc freed
one or more ***** deed

done dirt cheap reducing at lightspeed,
the hard fought/won democratic
inalienable rights purportedly guaranteed
by United States constitution,
(though oft times bias, i.e. reed

anti semitism, charade, facade...) heed
trample equality, morality, universality...
making mockery (attested bleed
courtesy flagrant historical extant bigotry,
chicanery, depravity... greed).

Hence, I step off figurative soapbox
dodging any lobbed missiles or rocks
no surprise bullied by same jocks,
who tormented me during high school
probably tattooed, pierced, and bald of locks
unlike yours truly, he sports self
as aging pencil neck geek
wearing non matching shoes and socks.
"FAKE" assertions unstoppably
bandied with beef,
(sans doughty deeds done dirt cheap)
courtesy of commander in chief
trumpeted as a way to backout,

embarrassment analogous to the thief
of Baghdad, when culpable faux pas
woe philly pops thought balloon of mine
reckons with transparent "good grief"
within mind of yours truly,

who finds himself dumbstruck
aghast, and shaking noggin with disbelief
how people can be so gullible
who would just as lief
eat a pin cushion to deliver strep throat relief.

First amendment teeter totters on brink
of dissolution mainly by the rat fink,
whose defamation against journalists
risking life and limb, yet not shrink

king enlightening liberal minded, who think
similar to myself, imposter
hood drums utter *******
while feeling teed off puttering

along Mar a Lago,
or another owned golf link
resorting to silence protesters
whisked off to the klink.

Distortions, (nee outright
blatant lies) saturate
social media platforms,
which followers didst rate

as their numero uno slate
supposedly reliable sources
harkening back to papa retaliate
Tory Bush prez administration,

regarding patrilineal shogunate
where Iraq summarily
targeted for crashing Kuwait
violating, jeopardizing, and

compromising vital oil, literate
folks suspected, that critical
lubricant mandatory to resonate
greasing western civilization

particularly self anointed great
super power USA, hence
alarmists didst exaggerate,
whose military intelligence

industrial leaders got irate
contracting complex projecting
global economy would vacillate
and, perhaps take Kamikaze nosedive

hence procrastination could not wait
demanding based on sketchy accusation
Saddam Hussein, and his ilk ultimate
harbored weapons of mass destruction

despite lack of distilled proof,
would severely truncate
nary a trace sniffed out,
nonetheless **** the torpedoes blitzed

in an effort to triangulate
miscreant running amuck
eventually met demise
with Bush Junior delivering

permanently placating tete a tete,
no matter dispensing top notch
fighting soldiers, whose strong
lifeless bloodied bodies remain prostate.
Self immolation as sacrificial bleating lamb
promises eternal martyrdom
awaiting voluntary die hard protester,
where countless vestal virgins provide blissfulness
(think ******* mansion on steroids)
synonymous with delightful
grand view garden of Eden
transmuting mortal flesh
(clothed in lovely bones)
into burnt offering
mummifying and searing
once robust sacred heart
courtesy hungry, and angry forked flames.

Escape said hell on Earth I must,
which hopefully convincingly
explains the above nightmarish scenario
awaking me from an otherwise pleasant siesta.

Livingsocial here at Highland Manor
sparks the matchless following hyperbole,
whereby overactive imagination
fosters grim statistics of suicide in general,
and setting her/himself afire in particular,
yes no matter the truism, we
(yours truly and the missus)
can attest to a roof
(recently reshingled) over our head.

If only the (laugh-in) fickle finger of fate
would bless with doggone sudden wealth,
or bestow beneficent altruistic philanthropist
to bolster my very anemic
checking and savings accounts
which still smarts nearly eleven months
after weathering a blitzkrieg assault
iterated umpteen times
within previous poems,

and even posted a gofundme page,
whose soothing telephone voice
calm, cool and collected (sotto voce) belied
blood thirsty Machiavellian
scheming compute hacker and fraudster,
who called himself Harvey Specter;
One scheming scammer,
who made out like a bandit
 after he fleeced one naive sexagenarian.

No matter psychological services
found the author of these words vilifying
above named malevolent online marauder
who initially (convincingly) weaseled his way
thru the milieu of cyberspace
zapping this Apple Macbook Pro laptop,
claiming to be holier than thou
by disabling access to the Internet,
I fell prey to his charade,
binary enfilade, and façade
entranced and mesmerized,
subsequently feeling wretched
after carrying out the bidding
by unforgettable referenced clip artist,
which incident of being bilked
reported to the local police,
whose promptitude responding
offered small consolation.

Little forgiveness yielded toward
a punning wordsmith,
still seething, fuming, livid with rage
and mad as a hatter at himself
for following hook, line and sinker,
an older fella ordinarily tentative and cautious
when commingling with persons unknown.
Woebegone, enraged spirits
holographic images taciturn
journeying somberly aghast
at their stolen sacred lands... mourn
dead souls impossible mission

sabotaged aery mission endeavor
happy hunting grounds upheaval
witnessed gaunt ****** sojourn,
perhaps collective aboriginal ghosts return
to haunt cruel innocent heir/heiresses
regarding interlopers, si?

Malicious intent birthed in subsequent
quick succession to adventitious,
(nevertheless grievous) events
visited upon heads of storied "Indians")
misnomer spurred European explorers
(more particularly exploiters),

when "discovering" the Americas
to dole out (deliberately)
contaminated accouterments,
plus various sundry trappings
to native inhabitants.

Gross misdeeds of our long deceased forebears
debauched, decorated, and dedicated
footloose hedonistic jackbooted violent men
loosed mayhem opening pandora's box
unwittingly and/or intentionally disseminating

seeds of annihilation germinating lethal pandemic
decimating innocent ofttimes knowingly
unleashing opportunistic virile organisms
without vital immunity linkedin
****** defense mechanisms.

With advantage of hindsight
always 20/20 (especially
calendrical juncture planetary
space/time continuum 2020)
opprobrium plentifully quoted
as cosmic consciousness skews perspective,

whereby admission acknowledged
conquistadors looted, pillaged, and *****
(blithely, effectively, and indiscriminately killed)
every man, woman, and child
and/or sowed cultural abomination
acceleration, adulation, aeration...

Though thoroughly grounded
within secular humanism
courtesy kickstarting metaphysical realism
philosophical, teleological...
essentially Unitarianism paradigm
whereby ripple repercussions of actions
(think butterfly effect

starring Ashton Kutcher - ha)
trigger domino falling action,
yet additionally affects fate,
particularly he/she who
activated, cultivated, generated...
chain of events, particularly
brutal, deplorable, and unforgivable misdeeds.
American independence day
linkedin severance from English crown
Continental Congress representatives
parlayed courtesy thirteen original colonies
yielding Declaration of Independence
immediately rendered null and void
established vassalage courtesy British rule.

Fast forward two hundred and forty six years
Indigenous nations, people of color,
and so called illegal immigrants still yoked
to the whims of White Anglo Saxon Protestant,
(albeit patriarchal paradigm)
imposing invisible shackles to deny
purportedly inalienable rights
of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Before figurative birth of this nation
vested gentry men (namely wealthy landowners)
unwittingly decreed unknown mockery,
when countless generations after Founding Fathers
expedited dissolution with English monarchy
as inherited freedom(s) affect descendents
of former slaves and their harsh task masters.

Enlightenment experienced within
western civilization in general
and United States in particular
witnessed manifestation
of supposed inherent equality,
whereby oppressed peoples
forced into human *******
at emotional, physical and spiritual cost
being yanked from African brethren.

Emancipation Proclamation helped spur
realization of vast souls cruelly abused
and held chained by Jim Crow laws
to claim ownership of sacred promises
vouchsafed within the document
crafted by Thomas Jefferson.

No occasion prevailed to celebrate
abilities afforded sons and daughters
of those whose privileges denied
despite codified words
etched for all eternity of those born
within contiguous United States
plus Alaska natives,
whose former self sufficient lifestyle
before encroachment of exploiters
subsequently severely crimped and crippled
which group of people
once collectively known
and referred to as "Eskimo"
rent asunder their webbed wide world.

Even at present time when yours truly
valiantly tries to encapsulate
disheartening abuses exacted
upon the heads of those
soberly awakened to being
subordinated, manhandled, conscripted...
into lowest rung on hierarchical
free enterprise paradigm

simply because self decreed
so called white privilege
(sofa as I know couched
as critical race theory -
yet mere writing such loosely
suggestive notion could find
hounds of hell unleashed
upon me scrawny *****).

Contrary ranting, scathing,
tearing at the very meat of the matter
viz  that U.S. social institutions
(e.g., the criminal justice system,
education system, labor market,
housing market, and healthcare system)
are laced with racism
embedded in laws, regulations,
rules, and procedures

that lead to differential outcomes by race
sorely contested by
diametrically opposed polemics
to aforementioned taboo idea
undermining healthy discussion
and allow, enable, and provide
a more thorough manumission
to be realized, cuz
not everybody experiences equality.
126 · Oct 2019
Weird "fake" news
This pencil necked geek
did hair thru the long grapevine
actually following false tidbit
originated within imagination i.e. mine,
while stationed at Macbook Pro
laptop - time already inching close

to hour of rise and shine
yikes still no ****** poem,
though with futility, I keep try'n
past bewitching hour, where body,
now incumbent to get supine
hours after taking warm shower

feeling gloriously, exceptionally,
comfortably, admirably... relaxed,
when captain my captain asinine
idea arose with futility to opine
albeit, ludicrous, outrageous, ridiculous...
carafe out loud if you dare

boot... be ready to make beeline
hive got muppet Hen son powers divine,
no matter yours truly drones design,
nonetheless me thought wine
not share blurb nsync with tickle me Elmo,
who awaits at intersection,

where Sesame Street crosses Pine
unless scariest beastly monster appears
sending shivers, viz small cilia along spine,
though profound this ain't,
only with collusion will
yours truly resign.

In toto now attempt made
to explain primary peculiar poetic bent
composed by vested apoplectic gent,
no matter mental energy he spent
dashing off above irrelevant "ine"
cuz he reached wits end to explain cogent

initial following crux not tangent
to preceding ****** effort in vain spent
devoid of sense, sensibility, or amusement,
thus no continuity despite fervent
effort made to stitch seamlessly
all above, and what comprises rhyming content
all I ask... please be tolerant and lenient.

Symbiotic microbial organisms dwell
within shirt collars interstitial spaces... expel
microscopic pincers to grab well
anchored, harried, styled... hair follicles
constituting tough protein called keratin
poised to strike back, minus stray, tell
tale loose strands easily retract

within scalp pulled tortoise shell,
subsequently scurry pell mell
even those thickly coated with Brylcreem gel
yea, those slippery hard to grab yell
low orange strands with
hair raising pluck subsequently fell
eventually baldly snagged, tugged, uprooted...

formerly hirsute bigwig(s) kvell
issue hair reed clangorous rebel yell
denuded pate(s) appear(ed) shiny and swell,
and resembled see thru billiard ball
clearly (self evidently)
lacking substance within hollowed shell.

Lemme resume kick starting
purported poem neigh
no more stalling, hesitating, fumfering... okay,
thus without further delay
imagine whichever prez
comes to mind standing
about six foot three, and
approximately doth weigh
two hundred and fifty pound orangutan

hood doth don orange-blond "fake" toupee
pensively jabbering, issuing, harrumphing...
(analogous to first Chinese brother
who swallowed the sea)
initially gesticulating comically, then furiously,
and finally impossibly loosed ocean at bay
no chance for treasure hunters to get away.
Hard knocks Methacton school alum
ofttimes finds ruing his fate
while squarely planted on me ***
disheveled and unshaven,
whereby gray stubble encrusted
with wayward synonymous days old crumb -

after wolfing delectable entitled treat
buttered fingers drubbing upon tabletop
analogous to playing a drum
oy vey, yours truly cannot believe
he ate the whole thing -
argh... my poor tum.

ALDI GIANT supermarkets
(within small radius of miles
from me Schwenksville, Penna abode)
sell delicious delectable treat
goading, inspiring, and spurring me
to craft poem essentially
patronizing manufacturer,
whose skilled food technicians
engineered absolute winning dessert

courtesy their natural born talent
schooled (most likely at culinary institute)
possibly supplemented insync
with advanced degrees
at other institutions of higher learning
after various and sundry
trials and error
concocting mouthwatering secret recipe.

Lemme use hypothetical situation
to accent chew ate,
how alluded dessert tastes great,
especially when rumble in tumbly
clamors for glorious goody
regarding appetite to satiate
unfortunately circumstances
force your truly to wait.

If (the following
constitutes far fetched scenario)
stranded on a desert island,
I after falling to Earth
when parachute fails to open,
weighed down by an excess of
Daiya vegan non dairy cheesecakes,
would finagle an empty pie tin
to signal an SOS.

If left to my own devices,
(where you dear reader
would discover one humbug),
I would be forced to scrounge around
rubbing two sticks together
to create warmth
plus distilling oils -
derived from edible herbaceous plants,
whence I would *******
(not prematurely) - olé
to sauté said greens with wild mushrooms.
126 · Mar 2022
Untitled
Implementing chops to acquire self survival

speculative fictional account
courtesy yours truly interpretation
impossible mission to surmount
tooling topographic factors,
solving quadratic equations,
rubik's cube generally tantamount.

Perchance yar juiced
a young man or woman
Aladdin on cusp of securing lass
maybe born, bread and raised
in the city that never sleeps
and as loyal returning native son
or daughter taking a tram
to enjoy tasty repast
with widowed momma,
cuz ever since da papa passed away....
a futile attempt made to fill that void

awash with more'n than half a century
of wedded bliss,
whereat purposelessness pervasive
regarding surviving mother,
who feigns happiness, regales others
with showers of affection,
and remains active feeding kith and kin
her chosen avocation
comprising, striving and succeeding
to be adept within the culinary arts

thru self taught trials and errors
of brave taste testers,
(which unwitting guinea pigs ought
to get medal of honor for bravery),
though her exemplary cooking reputation
exceeds five star Michelin rating
through meticulous and
exacting measured ingredients,
she glides within the kitchen
howsoever upon one occasion,

a fork and spoon slipped to the floor,
which inexplicable gravitational
alchemical phenomena
fused separate pieces of cutlery
into finely wrought eating implement
whereupon a dead reckoning,
takes shape, that "mum"
might be in mortal danger
from inconspicuous cooking tool,
whence ya stop SnapChat tin

and shutterfly as greased BuzzFeed
lding lightning twittering
like a bat out of hell -
ya swoop down
smash mouth Facebook first
presaging a fatality visiting
upon the head of mum
(christened name Chris Anne Thumb,
the last appended word linked
with her diminutive size),

who intently engrossed,
keenly self absorbed,
and rapt attentive with tasks at hand
most likely oblivious
to potential safety dukes of hazzard
as a benevolent offspring temporarily
ye take instagram reprieve,
and utilize fancy footwork
(incorporating song with dance routine)
generating kickstarter tiktok fame

yanking attention and
re: turning to counterpoise
vis a vis match less laws of physics,
whereby toe tulle lee tubular
jump starter antics applied
to kindle hurly burly
gnarly melded flatware
serving sub bastion bach up
(analogous to state of the art beet oven),
which upright pedal poised pose
quirky tool allows, provides
and enables pulley zing leverage.
126 · Jan 2022
Wordsmith's worst nightmare
fortunately thwarted courtesy
mine tall tale telling flair.

Mine irretrievable brilliant masterpiece...
all for naught after mental cogs and wheels
I did apply creative juice metaphorical grease
regarding tour de force pièce de résistance writing
forever lost to the annals of human history.

So much for escaping to paradise island
(Garden of Eden) and experiencing zen
Impossible mission to earn untold yen
concerning prosaic poem/ poetic prose titled
The old battleaxe and her henchwomen
irrecoverable linkedin to sinking feeling
hours, days, weeks... all spent for naught
dharma *** - me got doled out unfair

injustice though scoreboard (tabulating
when yours truly acted immoral) oddly even
Steven after I repented against
marital infidelities nearly cost priceless
paternal love of daughters, whereby
their father experienced
suicidal ideations thought
to drown his sorrows
overdosing on fen-phen.

A transcendent awakening
occurred within noggin of one simian
a clothed outlier caged within human zoo
predicated upon his overactive imagination
inextricably favorable ratings did woo,
albeit ephemerally savored renown, and true
value viz his great Magnus Opus,
whereby riches couped courtesy
brief brush with fame and glory
found countless people lined in queue

(and moment of morning glory
subsequently slipped
thru gnarly butter fingers
symptomatic of nervousness
exhibited courtesy an aspiring Nehru
case in point my pal Joey, a kangaroo
dear reader pardon
tardy greeting regarding helloo
cuz decided against formalities,
a nonestablishmentarian he doth eschew
no ghostly chance I merely utter boo!

Unlikely I scared
the living daylights out of you,
nor would that be intent
regarding self taught amateur
practitioner of voodoo
I rarely if ever cast spells,
nevertheless yours truly
still under probation
and peer review
so breathe easy, cuz Matthew
Scott Harris would hate
to tarnish reputation of Guru,
that charming humble fellow
he taught me wizardry.
I adopt dainty etiquette
when quenching thirst or dining
to buzzfeed growling beast
inside me tummy.

The missus requests obedience
raising both my little fingers in the air
upon taking beverage or repast to lips.

Additionally, she also requires I
(well healed husband who toes the line)
perform dance shuffle - think clog
feigning to trip over feet
as if yours truly quaffed to much grog
while balancing atop log.

Miss iz manners re: lee the spouse
sets prime example being lady like,
what with her belching and snorting
of course with mouthful of food
no surprise she nurtured impolite brood
raised on learning language crude

even this Geico caveman exhibits
less coarse attitude,
he likens himself to subdued dude
trying his darnedest (golly gee)
to avoid family feud

general behavior hashtagged as rude
linkedin with antics qualified as lewd
encouraged nsync while
slurping or masticating in the ****,
whereby other body sounds made
unsuitable for strait laced and *****

folks who don't take a fancy hearing
so called uncouth soundclouds exude
out body orifices considered foul,
inapropos and extremely lewd
when unless quarantined in solitude.

One upside of COVID-19
postprandial aural emanations
(all time favorite flatulence)
knows no outward bounds
unless colorectal explosions
register highest magnitude

when measured in concert
with handy dandy
blues clues rattle seismometer
and register courtesy
Richter Scale and the Mercalli Scale
direction and intensity of earthquakes.

Upon experiencing aforementioned prime mate
i.e. the bellowing gal offering herself as ahem
(pardon the double entendre) master bait,
I knew from the get go
Tex-Mex Connection

in North Wales, Pennsylvania
where we shared our first date
(outsize bean burritos)
I tooted my own horn,
she unwittingly got me into checkmate,
just for that her fate got sealed,

when our respective gametes
(ova and ***** cells respectively)
new life we did miraculously create
the first of two female offspring
would become housed in utero
and come to resemble

a spheroid somewhat oblate
even now unnamed counterpart,
(and partner in crime) still swell person
hook hood benefit to lose some weight,
cuz... well adipose freight
quite ample around equator.
Morality and self-fulfillment
attainable without belief in God
similarly yours truly
would figuratively crane
his credulity to ascertain Ichabod
mentioned in first Book of Samuel
as purported son of Phinehas,

I reject entire Biblical text,
and prefer to remain sacrilegious
eschewing faith no more,
(cuz doctrinaire versus
epistemological paradigm)
disagreeable, thus essentially
resigning yours truly

as token scapegoat gussied
up as heretical ******
metaphorically winkin blinkin
nonverbally giving nod
even if deaf mute blatherskite
reduced in one sentence as an odd
ditty, I spout gibberish

while travelling finite orbitz,
whereby one metrical foot
in front of thee other hide doth plod
me along tried and
true value schlemiel totally slipshod
thru and through,
though no po' tightwad!

Growing up amidst paternal
skeptical and cynical dad
in retrospect, I feel moral less glad
to avoid orthodox precepts
foisted when juiced a wee lad,
who peculiarly enough
resembled Alfred E. Neuman
if only yours truly
a figment of imagination,

rather than experiencing being sad
sack these days purposelessly
shuffling within ma rented pad
i.e. one bedroom apartment
listening to spouse more'n tad
annoying if oft times
knows exactly what childlike behavior
finds me getting stark raving mad.

Familiarity breeds contempt,
and the missus (unlike other gals)
unconditionally accepts her sir
vile counterpart (me) unkempt,
where neither of us
once upon a time dreamt
that each the other

would survive foreign attempt
to pledge troth (courtesy
justice of the peace
also known as
Magisterial District Judge:
Henry Schireson of Lower Merion
nsync with fame of Kobe Bryant
Methinks lame excuses poorly explain
absent presence gnosh *** wing up to
acknowledge our papa's ninetieth orbit
around sun, nor dearly beloved eldest
commencement successfully, modestly,
honestly (applying her smarts) as freshly

minted (sage) University of Pennsylvania
graduate, now where webbed wide world
avails untold opportunities to make positive
accomplishments, this papa never set
similar goals for himself, he languished
leaving untested latent abilities, now glum,

distraught, afflicted with irrevocable jangling
lamentation foregoing, forfeiting, forging
pathetic enactment regarding livingsocial
versus squirreling himself hermetically
sealed never linkedin with training sights
keeping traction upon maximizing native

abilities, thus frequent depressive bouts
find me prone speculating nonexistence,
(i.e. death), yet averse toward aggressive
unconscionable ***** deeds done dirt cheap
expediting end game of Life, cuz day after
week after month... pits me against hand

to mouth monetary woe whereat cost to
maintain, insure, fuel 2019 Hyundai Sonata
takes lion's share of monetary impossible
mission to become financially solvent, and
hashtagged social anxiety deters persevering
gainful employment, where self loathing

regarding predilection with profuse sweaty
hands finds yours truly aggravated enough
to admit disability to enjoy remains of days,
weeks, months... subsumed by penuriousness
diminishes excitement toward any purpose,
plus disgruntled without webbed bliss, nor

does bound by marriage appeal, yet the
missus would be left high and dry, (or low
and wet if she dwelt closer to sea level), this
bleakness especially pronounced as role of
fatherhood no longer viable, enjoyable, applicable
aware how offspring impacted by poor examples

of parents accentuated by appalling housekeeping,
additionally progeny's psyche indelibly defiled,
hi-jacked, scarred with husband and wife devoid
of affection toward each other, and NOT prioritizing
welfare of deaux darling daughters want nothing
more with us, which evokes sentimentality, when

interaction between biological dada and then young
girls generated laughter and utterances regularly
voicing "I love you and mama" came to screeching
halt upon, particularly selfishly expending valuable
time answering and posting personal advertisements
seeking discreet liaisons, and within overheard

half conversation with earshot (even if bedroom
door locked) prurient laced conversations, and
contrived secret rendezvous (most like intuitively
suspected by eldest, she still harbors resentment

towards yours truly countless shortcomings only
vicariously experienced getting invites to fully
functional dynamic, immaculate, roomy Mainline
classmates living envious lives.

Objectionable behavior (mine) as dada also applied
not so prodigal son question judgement cast during
salutary estrangement constituting singular male
progeny within family of origin.
Papa - purportedly named
after paternal grandmother
Sadie, her mom's Yiddish name
Basia Brana (or Brandla),
she took two B letters and
found American boys' names
that kind of echoed
her mother's names in letters
and sounds too: Boyce Brandon).

Conversation with eldest sibling
apprised me of entitlement
heading this endeavor with poetic ring,
plus she (same sister) emailed
specifics, a financial life raft
I will devotedly and blessedly cling.

Gratuity his (General Electric)
life insurance policy
totaling $37,063.00
divided three ways
bequeathed to yours truly
and my two non-twisted sisters.

Aforementioned dollar figure
divided three ways equals
12,354.3333333,
which tidy sum
could help me
alleviate outstanding
credit card debt.

Upon acquiring allotted dividend
tattered credit history I will mend
eldest daughter would commend
no rhyme nor reason accrual twist
of fate unfortunately happened

impossible mission to comprehend
how yours truly became deadened
abominable hand to mouth existence
turned scofflaw criminally hardened
not really but makes for good legend.

Figurative dark shadow ameliorate
I must, cuz unpaid charges create
unnecessary uneasiness and emasculate
like invisible fetters tellingly generate
principal abuzz with interest initiate
tingling goosebumps think back,
when Iraq invaded Kuwait.

Whatever portion remains after bank
receives their due, inherited windfall
(lemme please me earnest and frank)
metaphorically teetering on pull lank
lesson learned while marriage doth tank

hence joint account activated between
yours truly and wife crocheting machine
eventually a future blanket methinks green
backs could be pocketed, especially
since legal tender equals slim pickings,
which hoop fully Spartan existence lean
years can be supplanted with obscene

wealth (cryptic words) hinting
play philanthropist so the missus
and her consort can live splendid
like king and queen,
else we may consider enlisting
contraband to acquire
laundered moolah crisp and clean.
as mini reunion number
XLV fast approaches
Saturday, April 30th, 7:00 pm
until 10:00 pm
at The Trappe Tavern, 416 West
Main Street, Trappe, PA 19426
regarding graduating alma mater
brought to forefront
of my awareness,
though yours truly,

one generic beetle browed
fool on the hill,
and paperback writer wannabe
will not attend
haint gonna rile nor roil
ghosts from yesterday,
when all my troubles
upon cusp of rock and rolling
existential helter skelter prevailed
across universe of mine.

Although heavily steeped with fiction
trace amounts of factual essence
underlies the following account.

I spent remaining years of mein kampf
in quasi penal solitude
under strict surveillance of
jail wardens Boyce and Harriet Harris
both parochial parents of mine
long since passed away.

While comfortably and numbly housed
at 324 Level Road,
(an offsite facility
linked with semi progressive
incarceration modus operandi)
since razed to make room
for vinyl city,
yours truly shunted
from one to another institution,
albeit of higher learning,
which did nothing to alleviate
(their) constant harping
about Marxist slapstick brotherhood
regarding "dictatorship
of the proletariat".

I lacked fortitude and courage
to whether blistering punishment
falling short, and giving little weight
carrying out commanding orders
approved by presidents
elected and inaugurated
since 1976 until 2000 respectively.

While imprisoned for
abandoning being filial son
shirking household responsibilities
such as domestic chores
and property management,
cuz the estate of "Glen Elm"
incorporated approximately
some half dozen acres,
yours truly displayed
passive aggressive objection,
which behavior of mine
considered non compliant
essentially dereliction of duty
found me sequestered
within spacious bedroom.

Aforementioned safe space
offered singular identity guard
against brutal assaults
that actually began upon
onset when I became
sixteen years young
and immediately expected
to acquire gainful employment.

No such ambition existed
absolute zero  degree
of self confidence existed
to secure a part time job
(mainly on weekends),
nor did this then
long haired pencil necked geek,
(whose grungy appearance
closely resembles his younger self)
who back in day made any attempt

to foster effective hygiene, study habits,
time management, et cetera
especially completing assignments
in a timely manner,
hence practically failing,
and getting promoted
courtesy skin of his teeth,
which original set of choppers
replaced by snug fitting dentures
crafted by well trained technicians
schooled at University of Pennsylvania.

Many a pitched (emotional) battle fought
and attaining eighteen revolutions
around the sun
ultimatums (to get sent off
to the Gulag Archipelago)
materialized as empty threats.

Corrections and legal guardian
merely by dint of biological reproduction
officer Boyce gave vent
to his (sic) infamous midnight lectures
circa ~ late 1970's until early 1990's.

I dreaded every malevolent utterance
when father requested he speak
not about some choice topic de jure
that brought a twinkle to my eye
but that all to familiar monologue
finding me standing like stone wall
hearing, tuning out with equally
predictable trademark demurely meek
pose with hands crossed against chest
of this then painfully easily intimidated lad

despite feeling effects of utter ennui
and fatigue attempted to stand tall
against the tsunami verbal typhoon
itching to drown out said battle creek
when asked capisce? comprende? farshtayst?
looked blankly at floor well nigh
or pretended to stare at something
extremely fascinating on the kitchen wall
for he may as well asked if I understand 
in an unfamiliar language such as greek

most likely getting successful results
yammering away at common house fly
possibly seething inside (p’raps
equally swatted) ready
to lash out into a brawl
held back by fear plus in comparison
to me pop – just a itty bitty pipsqueak
felt onrushing of overpowering desire
to collapse and cry
compounded by growing urge

to urinate from natural urethral call
spoke nada word, nor gave hint
of hearing from loathsome
blather that did reek
like decomposition of fetid of dead
living entity that began to putrefy
which offal to mine ears, tugged impetus
under warm blankets to crawl
for remaining time on Earth!

Needles to say (er... or write)
neither warring party successful
though the cruel monster
no doubt wanted to mash
his veritable flesh and bone,
thus in retrospect
subsequent silence
declared pyrrhic victory.

Basket of deplorable (me)
never befriended any classmate
nor partook of extracurricular activities,
hence he failed to become linkedin
with peers, and would most likely
revert into socially withdrawn state.
finds yours truly groveling along
February third 2022,
never linkedin - analogous to stray animal  
without being befriended,
thus I don't belong
survival instincts taught yours truly
the necessity acting
courageous and headstrong

even if necessary
to stare down King Kong,
who actually shows me respect
such that every now and again
we play a game of ping pong
and on a crisp night
roast marshmallows kindle campfire
and sing Kumbaya song.

This ***** (which stereotyped
caricature familiarly epitomized
in countless Chaplinesque productions,
Dickensian tales,
oil paintings from
artistic hands of great masters
and others anonymous
exquisite painters, et cetera)
remembers practically nothing
of me nine-month stay in utero
birth, childhood nor early adulthood.

My amorphous gauzy,
hazy fractal memories
solely comprise fractured,
fragmented and splintered collection
of miserable experiences,
which characterize living
a hellacious hand to mouth
hard scrapple existence.

Past wispy vestiges of wretchedness
and now present woebegone existence
seems a worse fate than death.

The overpowering urge to survive
and summon up one barely audible
l’chaim utterance against the depredations
of the grim reaper only found
nothing but defeat.

That daily dismal
grinding away of last shreds
of a purpose driven life fending off real
and imagined threats sought salvation
in a vividly encased jammed
preserve of mine imagination
an existence awash with ample
trappings of comfort.

Yours truly dug deep with bony strength
in tandem with fantasy notions know
king around in figurative heady
toboggan noggin like cranial carapace
to muster every ounce of strength
in an effort to escape chronic confrontation
with endless streak of bleakness.

Although cursed with brutish,
nasty, and short nefarious fate
as a measly looking human
varmint, this grimy,
grungy, mangy, rangy, et cetera
looking besotted being
clung with all the might

within his five foot ten inch
or so tall and one hundred
and sixty five pound body
to transcend sigh grimly
twerking terrestrial travesty
that tweeted n tweaked laugh-in
fickle finger of fate in my favor.

I tapped into atavistic survival skills
summoned willpower to stay alive
drinking butter bear while heavy cross
of ***** poor poverty borne.

No matter a hard-core skeptic at heart,
this cynic plaintively called
for divine intervention
to help one nondescript human piece
of flotsam and jetsam
to cope - living like
doleful junkyard dog.

In essence, this abandoned, ignored
and shunned vagrant frequently
raged against the Deus ex machine
found figurative amidst
literal lovely bones
slim pick hens with demons
that tormented psyche.

While traipsing along litter strewn
condemned boulevard of broken dreams,
torn and well-worn shoe kicked
a couple of long discarded items.

These weather beaten hands
reflexively bent to retrieve accouterments.

One comprised colorful jagged shard,
in a previous lifetime
housed cheap fermented liquor.

Nothing but crud
filled remnant of dog gone
***** hounds’ favorite drink.
I hate spoiler alert
regarding weather forecasters prediction,
especially when meteorologist
wannabe spouse doth blurt
out impending blizzard
which never materializes.

Yours truly humbled and enamored
when Mother Nature
singly and/or nsync with old man winter
looses propensity to wreak havoc
and/or blankets landscape
I fondly think back
remembering '96 storm of the century.

At that time January 1996
me and the missus timesharing
Shawnee on the Delaware
ardently striving, yet
unsuccessful conceiving Blizzard Baby.

Now far beyond procreative age,
(though I wistfully envisage
begetting another progeny -
simultaneously stretching credulity
to breaking point)
all things considered
exhaustion would peter out
after capitulation of divining rod
necessitating lifetime to recoup energy.

Bound within figurative four walls
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania domicile
courtesy appreciable snowfall,
I direct energy crafting poem.

Yours truly will actually
refrain comestibles despite feeling hungry -
lest metabolism to digest food
decreases potential alertness,
and full belly finds me
ready able and willing
to doze immediately into deep slumber.

Hungry stomach in tandem
with eventful weather
sends surge of giddiness
coursing thru body electric
crackling, popping, and snapping
(while O Captain My Captain)
came to witty man (me) suddenly
enervating with poignant pregnant expectancy
papa pondering his empty nest syndrome
analogously attempting to offset void

coaxing poem into existence
unsure how literary endeavor
(mine) will thrive
amidst well suited
panoply of prolific writers,
whose unseen fingers
hop lightly and gracefully
across qwerty computer keyboard
akin to heavy armed soldiers
with fearlessness and deliberation
heading off to war to acquire poetic license.

Meanwhile chafed knuckles
of one garden variety primate
previously scraping along tundra
(methinks I espy frozen Mastodon)
(before twenty first century caveman
learned to stand *****)
endeavors to strike letter combinations
eliciting, facilitating, and generating
enticing curb appeal.
126 · Jun 2020
Impasse to contentment
Just me and mine shadow doth blog
passivity, the path of least resistance oh my dog,
an emphatic YES,
a legitimately valid reason and rhyme to flog
yours truly (figurative emasculation),
thee catchword to hog
immediate attention,
see above named poem title

the best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative juices to jog
all mein kampf, I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
to identify me as a nog
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly
one sniveling poor excuse for masculinity,
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable) humility,
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott sought adultery,

which unwise choice attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void
****** propensity linkedin with precepts
attributed to Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirts

barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed or Oedipus complex
shrugged off (heavier imposition
versus Atlas) fails to bridge any mettle alloyed
within me psyche.

Absent healthy teenage
dating experiences, think tryst
I yearned, trended then
regretted handy dandy wrist
took rat tick antics subsequently,
and compromised spawning prurient dalliances,
hence understandably missed
(until death do me part)

doting upon then young daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one
(born 12/22/1996) still ******
at primal, gonadal, and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist
matter of fact I dreamt
(earlier today June twenty seventh
two thousand and twenty), the gist
regarding harming self

courtesy sharp pointed objects
(that string of words
doth hoop fully connive fist
(cuffed) around handles of knife

discounting divorce (from wife)
i.e. remaining uncoupled
mandated eventually note hissed
unbridled love and apology

toward thee missus and progeny
who forever did blacklist
das scribe, how objectionable
now, he profusely kissed
mouth of other voluptuous

(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly enough spouse did insist
to forgive, boot never forget.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
thus very little paternal (filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California her temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa blatantly confessed
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl")
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risque behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
men disregarded and hardened libido
against marital covenant.
Beloved daughter dubbed "Munchkin",
an appellation engineered by "mother"
now evinces enviable survival skills,
this papa dismissed himself attaining,
and though sites set
to attain satisfactory income

courtesy asper keeping
your inherited Semitic
nose to the grindstone
(cute as a button)
toward fiercely dedicated
academic success to

acquire Bachelor's Degree
objective self instilled since "star student" -
(another moniker the missus aptly affixed)
amply proven successfully completing
undergraduate engineering degree
(a minor in je nais sais quois French),

this from storied high achieving Ivy League
University founded by Benjamin Franklin
this "sir" once again
applauds laudatory milestone,
and additionally acknowledges
sincere appreciation surrendering

veritable treasure trove
commestibles, toiletries, vitamins...
allowing unswerving selflessness
to kindle tears of utmost gratitude
figurative biological dice throw
now embarks upon admirable

self reliant (no batteries needed)
time tested personal conviction
proving steely mettle with panache,
despite fallings out
undermining rapport during yesteryear,
when dada felt important,

evinced kibitizing, pampering,
reading requested stories,
(yea even Harry Potter - now passe)
aware how mine debauchery,
who set poor flagrant example

posited ye to escape appalling
financial, emotional, spiritual...
domestic conditions
ye understandably
envisioning more ideal legal guardian,
asper loco parentis

thus parting equals bittersweet
sorrow for dada, whose bottled anger
directly linkedin to opprobrious
selfish misdeeds compromising
psychological welfare two precious progeny
whose presence provided joie de vivre,

and never wanted restraint imposed
maturing into an admirable young lady,
no matter sentiments towards me
poisoned by toxicity, whose
predilection to debilitating panic
undermined, restrained, quashed...
necessary needs and wants

to nourish healthiness...
despite aggravating, hellbent
nerve wracking time consuming
odiously infernal exhausting
drive to accept donations,
i.e. personal belongings...
dada doth care for thee!
Palm history awash with drips
unballed fist humboldt
splayed fingers vamoose releasing
wrist took rat release sing psalm
palm history awash with drips.

(Me slippery fingers slither,
slip and slide splashing ala
Jackson *******), sans slap
dash experimental, swiftly
tailored and harried writing
style, yes on par with purging,
spewing, venting...unexpurgated,
unexpressed, unexplained...
words, which this Engelbert
Humperdinck singer/songwriter,

(whose birth name actually
Arnold George Dorsey MBE
inexplicably popped
into the mind of this Dadaist)
offers "FAKE" apology for any
self inflicted, or sadomasochistic
flagellated cranial contusions
out of utter futility to make sense
regarding following gobbledygook!

GOOD LUCK!

Mine groovy palmar flexion
creases forever moistened
by porous size **** leaking levees
provoking deluge outranking Biblical flood -
handy history (in miniature)
replete with Ark keel logical artifacts
discovered by hall mark wainwright -
about 10 stone and 5 pound huckster,
circa Fin de siècle, when
callous ten hooks (calisthenics, eh)

caught without Noah
shadow of a doubt proof positive
by Matthew Scott,
so don't Harris me
(amat sure his surname)
linkedin to storied testament
rivalling epic of Gilgamesh,
nee the entire spoilers alerts since
dawn of civilization writ small
impossible mission to decipher

indelibly etched, (what appear
as Egyptian hieroglyphics),
methinks his perspiration
contains preservative agent,
(a natural formaldehyde like substance)
generated nsync
to maintain eternal youthfulness,
which stumps medical community,
and earned him hashtagged "hotmail"
(eagerly sought after human commodity),

a blessing and curse palms plagued
with chronic profuse wetness, yet lines
(little flushed streams of consciousness)
rowed by itty bitty teensy weensy
merry daydreamers harkens back
when life held faint promise
for scattered (contra) bands
of bipedal hominids fiercely
competing with trumpeting

(Taj Mahal sized) beasts
(donned Johnny come lately tousled
windswept hirsute trademark)
Euclid heir'm barreling along
barren steppes all around
the one straggly mulberry bush,
where one pensive monkey (proto-human)
chased the weasel
all around the world wide web.
After descent of eventide
luminescence of freshly fallen snow
still illuminates the terrestrial firma bright
even upon the onset of dusk,
when dark shadows
betoken the edge of night
analogously herald outer limits
invoking intimations of the twilight zone,
which visibility amplified
with appearance of full moon
accentuating brilliant blinding white
across the bucolic expanse.

No matter familiarization
with precipitation falling to Earth
as ice crystallization,
nevertheless a child like mirth
bubbles up inside of me,
the shear beauty worth
more than words can spell.

These transitional bifocals I wear
become naturally tinted
(upon exposure to radiance)
courtesy law of reflection
which states that, on reflection
from a smooth surface,
the angle of the reflected ray
equals the angle of the incident ray
essentially darkening material
comprising lenses for glasses,
which constituent chemicals for lenses
come in four types of plastic:
polyethylene, Trivex, polycarbonate,
high-index polymers, and glass.

After looking away
from brilliantly shimmering raiment
displaying full regalia donned
courtesy the nearest solar body,
one might see dark spots or patches
within field of vision,
which ocular entities called afterimages.

Afterimages happen because
the cells in your eyes that help you see,
called photoreceptor cells,
get tired from the bright light.

There are two types of these cells: cones and rods.

Though myopic, I still marvel
and feel blessed at ability
to experience capability,
no matter nearsightedness
insync with color vision deficiency (CVD)
diminishes fullest breadth and scope
to see with perfect
(meaning 20/20) vision
ever since a wee lad
way back in second grade
nearsightedness became quite evident

and difficult to ignore
forsooth in while deep in the womb
visionary genesis made
with slight inability
unable to distinguish
one or more chromatic colors
also in the chromosomal store
and so-called “floaters”
like my own private kaleidoscope
played tag across field of view

in the process concentration wore
out ability to attune other senses
to lend even a shade
now as an older fellow,
who dons bifocals with pride
eligible by optometrist/ophthalmologist
to undergo laser surgery
to shine on (me) lens
and render spectacles superfluous
as necessary guide
once anonymous philanthropist pens

adequate check for costly procedure,
whereby ocular weakness to hide,
whence ability to see keen as a hawk
with zoom empowered by tens
meanwhile this wayward fellow
will pilgrimage to the oracle of Delphi
hoping the priestess can deliver
like some divine
miracle worker for near blind
and if prayer
(to be free of glasses answered)

will become prophet
(written on subway walls) well nigh
and wordsmith will no longer
make spectacle of himself,
additionally no longer at the mercy
per groping in the dark
for misplaced eyewear to find
able to discern celestial objects
far away in the sky
which cosmic phenomena
t’will hypnotize this inquisitive mind.
I admit tubby distracted by a modeling
female physique when attempting to write,
an aching agony rips thru this son,
gripping with ******* – tight -
by Dickens constricting sensation,

who orbited the sun LX times
**** sitters himself heterosexual male,
where slumbering testosterone forces unite,
no matter my libido feels
deadened, this despite

the above mentioned
asthma ordinary devoid ****** drive,
when these eyes (brown and myopic) sight
even just a picture
oven an attractive gal fanciful flight

evokes dormant longings
crashing thru concentration
without any invite
sparring dueling animal urge,
I know ain't right

since being married,
and all (witches nothing to celibate)
boot even if aye hapt tubby
dim witted with cerebral blight
prurient predilections, would

nonetheless prevail causing affright,
whereby the photographed lovely lady
dashes out like shuttered image,
though only so few inches in height,
would make a bee line into an

unreachable cubbyhole,
not totally airtight
just enough breathing room
to await darkening hour of night
than with lightspeed akin to meteorite

off into the farther reaches with a blink quite
invisible this quasi
holographic like pseudo sprite
leaves yours truly in the lurch ignite
ting a supposed ****** propensity gone cold

nay, no can do, cuz
untethered high as a kite
electrifying animal desire forced to bite
the dust, though thankfully concupiscent pang
ordinarily not the least bit aroused, aye attest

nope, not lascivious provocative
Barenaked Ladies can NOT excite
an older fellow, whose adolescent body
seethed with hormonal secretion,
and any pretty young thang did alight

a stick up between still skinny legs,
hence people watching
(particularly gals), a birthright
even migrant and/or
teenage mutant ninja turtle doth delight

tool hook, but NOT touch
most times an effortless fight,
yet every once in a while atavistic
pulsations, asper call
of the wild bobwhite

overrides instagramming, snapchatting,
and twittering uber with such might
even erupting sexless interludes of ******
or "FAKE" shining knight

chess moonlighting also  as “FAKE” playwright,
hence if perchance a beauty catches me sight
lack of youth in your favor
from my penitent ****** plight!
(alternately titled: Typical daily mindset today –
July 17th, 2020)

The following words
mostly unredacted, nevertheless finessed
for curbed poetic/prosaic appeal
lock, stock and barrel
codify, and edify (hoopfully not mortify)
any reader unbeknownst and/or familiar
with unsteady state of yours truly,
(an ordinary garden variety generic guy)

who ofttimes expresses suicidal ideations
merely freed pent up
watery melancholic thoughts
(pitted within his psyche)
to experience vicariously personal impact
how such Earth shattering words of finality
might affect (or not) an anonymous reader.

Additionally I gave literary weight
to morbid topic confounding
moost every sentient and sensate human being
unable to escape her/his ultimate demise
eventually laid claim
by grim reaper
who unfailingly claims corporeal essence

which accepted fate
impossible mission to envision,
yet as chronological orbitz figuratively accrued
heightened awareness proportionately pronounced
(at least within mine cerebral cortex)
thus teasing out mortality
to comprehend (even minimally)
such mind boggling concept.

No immediate recourse sought
to compromise, exorcise, jeopardize, et cetera
the mailer daemons powerfully fraternizing
gamesomely cavorting, ripsnorting,
and yes terrorizing
sinusoidal undulations whatsapp

pining within mine approximately
deux clenched fist sized brain
temporary organic matter
lodged within the noggin
of one contemplative, intuitive,
and ruminative **** sapien.

Mine skeptical papa helped beget me,
a stranger in a strange land,
I experience difficulty breathing
despite pitch perfect cloudless ether
analogously steeped in foreign air,
as surviving foreigner,
one doubting Thomas
(English muffin) niggling heir.

Nostalgic reminiscences venerated zealously
violently pound every square inch,
where thinking transpires
within convolutions characterizing fifty shades
of gray matter lodged
clapping hands upon ears
renders a feeble attempt
to block deafening mind chatter.

I precariously perch
(albeit metaphorically)
perch upon precipice
staring into infinite abyss
hesitant to bid thee world
of the livingsocial adieu
trembling, kickstarting, fumfering...
apprehensive, tentative, wary

regarding permanent solution
to temporary emotional ill
afore taking leave,
where family bids me good riddance
bon voyage into netherlands
long sought realm of hereafter
abounding with peacefulness
of body, mind, and spirit.

Linkedin with hypothetical
undertaking that envisions me dead
preceding lines fell shy describing scenario
analogous to internal civil war playing out
inside formerly nasal twanging talking head,
(above attributed to submucous cleft palate)
yours truly characterized asthma worst enemy led
imagine pacifist sent into battle without mercy

futile effort foregone conclusion,
hence pointlessness witnessing
prayer for salvation, which I ne'er pled
akin to Isaac Bashevis Singer Gimpel the fool
and/or kamikaze pilot
one and/or another rushed in
where angels feared to tread.

More'n devilish tomfoolery,
I disclosed wretched mental state
no, not necessarily continuous
unbridled intense self destruction within me pate
more so chronic **-hum ambivalent attitude
quite upsetting thee missus, i.e. me mate

more often than not
no surprise predominant moody blue
exhibited courtesy yours truly,
twould be antonym of jubilate
tis the exception when I feel
(likened to Tony the tiger) grrrrrreat!
tonight October  25th, 2022
terrifically summarily requoting

poetic outdated iteration,
I share the following lines
echoing in the valley
of love and delight.
courtesy 20/20 hindsight
October twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty two
admirable, corrigible, fallible,
and intelligible light

hearted fella (amazingly
gracefully aging
baby boomer) usually polite
doth not trend toward
superficial nor trite,
neither can yours truly
said to abide by beliefs, ethos
ideologies, et cetera notions characterized
as distinctly black and white.

Ostrich (I stretch) literary creativity
with Rhea yule wordplay
(mine metaphorical putty) enjoys
shape shifting rules
of English language
casting them bon voyage
analogous to loosing a hot air balloon
never knowing literary
endeavor (mine) outcome
unpredictable as wind
doth form sand dune

farfetch'd jimmied physique
peculiarly genetically hewn
no avian expert, yet
sports wide whirled
webbed analogous to loon
yours truly at heart,
an honest to dog poltroon
acquired pipes, whereat
ofttimes I (a fool on the hill)
sing out of tune.

No idea when predilection arose
to toy with said mother tongue
frequently buzzfeeding me passion,
I rend toward proclivity
maketh anonymous reader to doze
gibberish spews gobbledygook
which kooky logophile doth expose,
where gobbledygook profusely flows
gushing out imaginary hose
frequently diverging off course

pertaining to poem title
which (reading between
the roaring lines) here
sought to delineate highs and lows
regarding squandered (particularly
linkedin with female)
friendship opportunities aye sip pose
jangling this beau zoe
from head to his gnarly
webbed whirled wide toes.

I don't mean to engender pity
excruciatingly socially withdrawn
garnered alienation since birth
regarding human bonds, which dearth
all thru these three score plus three years
athwart planet (unfit) ness Earth
teetering in the balance
pregnant around equatorial girth
found yours truly figuratively
tied to mother's apron string,
I always felt safe and secure,
within home and hearth
even when Scottish welcome matt

yanked away by those who begot me,
now in retrospect ability
to muster mirth
within savage dime
a dozen verbal lashings
(courtesy mama and papa,
the former long since deceased
and latter (upon original date of this poem)
declining nonagenarian respectfully
their sole male offspring
ironically now here at petticoat juncture
amidst swath of rolling green acres
during mein kampf
distills their overlooked worth.

Shying eye contact, I vaguely recollect
Matthew Scott Harris
as wee lad did disappoint
way back during second grade lunch
at Eagleville Elementary School,
a pretty girl christened Renee
(if memory serves me correctly)
induced writhing and foaming
incoherent sounds of silence
indubitably witnessed yours truly
an extremely shy boy
hiding behind makeshift barrier
(possibly tartan patterned lunchbox)
to avoid at all costs
painful penetrating piercing
inducing me to look askance.

As an extremely shy kid
(lacking benefit of powdermilk biscuits)
even briefest eye contact with lovely lass
sent extreme agitation
coursing thru measly frame
wreaking emotional/psychological distress
(visit repeated aforementioned
refrain ad nauseum)
recurring without letup
boyhood to young adulthood,
when within close proximity
attractive gal froze mine functionality
even with intent to exchange passing "hello."

Fast forward to recent past
i.e. namely second half of bleak existence
angst oozed and profusely did bleed,
when ability to bolster daring deed
communicating amorousness awkwardly freed
potential foolishness or embarrassment,
I shushed inner voice of amplified reason,
side stepping preservation,
aye did not heed
boot blurted out juvenile

barenaked lady desires indeed
spelling repugnance and con seeded
instant ruination against fulfilling
hormonal secretion need
wanting to escape utter fool hardiness
beating hasty retreat
(think tail between legs)
ruffly at thoroughly bred dog  
with mile a minute
tail a wagging uber speed!
Node out if Trump
     pad hiz way...
this scrivener would
     batten down in skidrow
with the missus,
    the latter who would veto
such misery, none
     the less, she would

     most likely experience
a sense of helplessness too,
which poetic title just came
     to mum mind, cuz panic
     stricken thoughts rue
asper what if that figurative
     wellspring of government
     small largesse

     (electronically deposited
     beginning of each month)
dried up sue
sink lee forcing me out
     onto the brutally cold
     bleak domain queue
wing up to the next
     available steaming manhole

     sink or mebbe best firm
     me tug *** to Peru
walking all the
     way there (devoid
     of money, would disallow
     choice to drive or access
public transit), ooh
such hardship would

     constitute an offal
     spell, which more
     likely, would find me
dead aah with new
more hardship,
     (yea of corpse
this chap joking,
     but gallows hue

     more about cease
     sing to exists),
     but forced at the
mercy of teenage mew
ninja turtles, or
     worse...stuck in rat
     infested hole in wall
     smelling like a loo

hmm...juiced perhaps
     rapping on the door
     of a Synagogue, could allow
     admittance for this
     enthusiastic, basic atheistic
Unitarian, though of Jew
whoosh heritage,
     though aye knew

nary a whit aboot Semitic culture,
     I maze well high tail north
     in search for cold
     storage in an igloo
calling out across the
     miles of frozen tundra
"YOU HOO...LUCY?...DESI?...
...ANY BODY HOME?" when

     of course irritable bowel
     syndrome kick in putting
     cramp on me glue
tee us maximus. finding
yours truly to ******* a stronger
     expletive than "FOO,"
which utterance does absolutely
     nothing to remedy, thus...

     imagine this poet stranded in
     the middle of nowhere
with mush aboot doo doo
on my mind, and/or
     same in his pants!
Knead dull brows knitted;
belief system I cogitate
gearing thee ordinary bipedal hominid
acquiesces to deck the halls
of the mountain (dew) king with boughs
of sister golden haired
sprinkling angel dust
from cremated remains
in bleak midwinter
unwittingly interweaving pagan rituals

tacitly accepted yet quietly jeered
as anathema to march of the kings,
who instilled obedience or death
which layman forswore, whence his loss
of life or limb as mass of cries neared
resounding like tortured souls
self flagellating their inherent
joy to the world,
whereby unsuspecting cynics among
the madding crowd paired
amidst common everyday folk

beckoning ad lib lip-synced first noel
extemporaneously grafting customs
taught when reared
as just a little drummer
boy/girl pipsqueak, since
straying from mainstream religious
parameters scared the silent night
with unimaginable ogres
on the warpath to smite mortal
man/woman with flaming torches
angering unfriendly beasts tiered

inside the city state panning labyrinth
ready for total mortal kombat
while shepherds watched their flock –
as the latter veered
away from getting fleeced
such as this writer,
who might be lambasted
for verging on the brink
of being sacrilegious and/or weird
after forking over a tidy sum
a million bucks? Not by a far stretch.

Please keep on the que tee i.e. hush
regarding this soupy poetic fabrication
bravely bursting buttucks amucks
thus haint wise to mess wit me
lest cha wanna split high knee
a fate worse than death
with hen whoopsy tipsy
daisy excuse employing
faux pas impairment via this Gypsy.

Diabolical harassing lurked
poised – ready to strike yours truly,
when he obliviously frolicked,
during his boyhood carefree
before the onset of self loathing.

Drunk with knowledge
whither hearing, vis (ideally,
liberal commentators I adore),
asper "NON FAKE") news,
more than weather, latest sports score
or reading, (yes of course
out loud applying index finger de rigueur
of right hand as pointer)
poetically mentioned once before
ditto via select publications
(oh...alright TIME Magazine, The Nation,

and/or Mother Jones) all of which boar
like a mellow red bull at four
after midnight, nonetheless, who decrees
(hmm... maybe ludicrous
to ask Jeeves courtesy deplore
able basketcase, but inquisitiveness persists
what body electric discriminates furthermore
freedom of what gets published, or
determines permissible broadcasts
made by Federal Communications Commission
allowing, enabling, and providing galore

of choice morsels pollinating
mass media buzzfeeding popular culture
additionally permitting opinions
shared by *******
investigative journalists,
putting life and limb at risk
nonetheless inherent within constitution delimiter
i.e. bureau to censor radical, subversive, more
treasonous than Socialism
with Iron Maiden on tour
must serve as kickstarter

to stifle: tyranny, mutiny,
anarchy, et cetera and shore
up defenses (perhaps in guise of a
reinforced wall) toward those who ignore
codas defining complex edifice of government
trumpeting defiance, uncivil disobedience,
insouciance, et cetera in an attempt to restore
totalitarianism stripping away inalienable
rights of life, liberty and pursuit
of happiness endowed by a smoothbore!
Within Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania,
thus far marginal rainfall for season
nevertheless...the hazy, hot and humid dog days
meanwhile (gad) Zeus  
tiredly huffs and puffs...with a growl
regarding thunderstorm unable to make headway

against invisible firewall
shielding this area
of the keystone state haul
in tandem with the spirit
of Saints Peter, Paul

and Mary (Southeastern -
tri county (also)
encompassing the suburban hall,
sans Spring Mount Mountain King -
an egg gree us fellow - quite tall

simultaneously straddling Bucks,
Delaware, and Montgomery),
and much as I revel,
when blizzard conditions raged, a Saul
ting self importance of humanity,

where meteorological conditions
hurled a wicked frozen curveball
forcing fatuous, egocentric brazen arrogance
into unassuming (ruff) atoll
shape shifting paradigm,

viz dogmatic couture of modesty call
out depravity, immodesty, pomposity,
et cetera, vis a vis,
when "she" declares marshall,
law yes only when might

of Mother Nature tempers
trumpeting one donning
guise of cloudy (with chance of) meatballs
unfortunately indiscriminately
striking havoc overall

mindful, honest, decent... folks
swept up in maelstrom, which pitfall
could cause loss of life or limb,
this teetotaler inebriated,

fascinated, and captivated,
and linkedin to thrall
dom wielded by volcanic, tectonic, climatic...
of phenomena take (measure for measure)
an indifference to scuttling

hominids beef four all
lose well that ends well,
asper scrimmage maul
ling the accouterments of civilization
then...deathly still quiet doth befall

after unleashed forces exhaust
and expend blistering might
temporarily silencing madding crowd
to standstill, and eventual faint crawl
courtesy of a wicked atmospheric drawl!
125 · Apr 2024
Earth Day April 22nd 2024
I lament bidding Gaia's creatures adieu,
an inner conflict dust brew
within this scribe, who offers ye to chew
(like sweet treats metaphorically) thee do
tee incumbent, when Doomsday clock
counts down minutes few
according Al Gore rhythm
unstoppably ticking,
when life gets turned to global goo
tenderized viz Doctor Zeus
if not Horton Hears Hoo

then most definitely The Lorax
(couching urgent morals underscored
by satellite photographs
showing melting ice caps or igloo,
which planetary sos, sans in extremis
requires joint effort of Gentile and Jew,
plus every other sectarian credo,
dogma, ethos...knew
clear family, and whatnot
to become linkedin with Linda Loo

yes, we moost not forget
Old McDonald's with his moo
moo there bovine creatures
agedly hobbling along, or new
lee born, cuz juiced one day
per three hundred and sixty five
(six with leap year -
imagine dragons festooned leotard
with brand name Oroblu
or poor ole Winnie The Pooh

eternally stuck in Rabbit's
hole sum Hutch as a queue
doth loosely form dreaming up and rue
men ate about the old woman
who lived in a shoe
mien hating solution
(burning the midnight oil) true
lee trying to remedy plight
of said bear character,
hemmed in courtesy

**** sapiens population explosion
whereat their den only
allows, enables, and provides
cubby hole view
perhaps unstated message being woo
king in tandem solutions to resolve
wretched condition of world wide web
possible by bridging differences
between me and you, and you, and you...
essentially everyone
comprising the human zoo.
February fourth two thousand and twenty...
Shana Aubrey Harris
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREETING,
albeit eleven days early

Countless years after papa
took thee and Eden
to favorite outing namely five below
other go to places included
Target, Old Navy, Chipotle,

and Santa Fe Burrito
four other bricks and
mortar sites thee dough
ting dada availed himself

ah... memories still echo
with sentimental emotions that flow
despite blur of intervening years
geesh...,how quickly ye did grow
already now high ** high **

off to work and/or school ye go
still at times, I get teary eyed
sniffle... sniffle... sniffle
think drama and Shakespeare's Iago
analogous emotional family tension

my humblest apologies,
I may not really know
if high dudgeon ye felt toward me
opprobrious indiscretions
shenanigans (mine) generic Joe

cur overstepped bounds of decency,
whereat family dynamics attained little low
coe motion unfairly inflicting mo'
harm than good on innocent lass
forced to weather no

peace of mind, especially when living
at 1148 Greentree Lane - oh
when battle axe and henchmen
demanded we move
(reed get evicted) pronto

Harris family crisis took kamikaze nosedive
in one direction,
now I strive for status quo
and love how lee thee row... row... row
your boat gently down the stream.
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