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The following constitutes a rather
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling ***** in an attempt to escape...
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy duty spring cleaning.

Twas the bright idea of zee missus aye air
and dedicate this poem
(yes tis correct, if you bare
lee remember this mister
did formerly she push lee duck clear
addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster” endear
ring - for obvious reasons,
and before she begat two 'ere
rip press ably lovely daughters),

anyway thee wife I fear
to publicize contracted a benign
strain sans incurable glare
ring housecleaning malady;
thus far no unpronounceable hair
raising name affixed
to non contagious condition, nevertheless
accursed malady,
whereby to keep her
from auctioning me on eBay,
I squarely hide in root cellar.

She frenziedly scrubbing stubborn stains
from clothes, dishes,
and gamut of hibernating
Oryctolagus cuniculus domesticus
horde (nee motley crue)
entrapping scampering dust bunnies
that come breathing alive
nsync with beastie boy
city rollers culture clubbing babes
upon first spring day
engrossed in this, that,

or some other sweeping floor foray
(analogously to Velveteen Rabbit)
shedding fifty shades of gray
winter coat when warmer temperatures arrive,
where humongous fur clumps would lay
comprising sudden empty raft
of shelf space minus a may
zing globules, oh...lemme get on track,
whence frenzied fever
"cleaning bug" nee
major virus afflicting wife,  

would necessitate impossible task
strapping former feisty Norwegian farm gal
in straight jacket livingsocial every
would be no game to play
24/7 daily challenge devious skullduggery
Smokey and the Bandits
an imp posse sub bill
outlaw gang, who lived
like Aristo curr Rats along the quay,    
which unpredictable timeframe

boot tiring and cruel task
of her life Yukon say
thine remaining lifetime,
that's my wife oye vey
would frank lee zapping
every last oomph of mine
if able twin door remaining with spouse
meanwhile 'till she obviously
plucks persistent sprouting stranded follicle
tiller broad forehead resembles
a minuscule tarmac way.

Though far fetched, not impossible
for me and Joe Six
Pack to become one and the same
since a concerned counterpart
contributes to the mix
cuz, she waves a scolding gold finger
dying with craven craving for sweet licks
to grace tastebuds longing
to savor and dissolve sucrose
in any one of the natural
or synthesized combinations
in an effort whose memory
of a washboard tummy
doth hunger for youth afflicts

recent embarkation since maintaining a diet
of exercise no more pesky heeding "yo dude"  
(you look like a lady),
the inner fitness maven against
temptation of high caloric junk food
and nightly snack king
on a flexible fitness routine,
this lxiv aged body electric feels good
these myopic eyes and
well-calibrated hands measure less dense hood-

winking *****, that if I feigned being
a "bared naked lady" -
asper this chest lewd
city in reference to "man *****"
that seemed to materialize overnight
now appear to decrease as well
that unwanted "love handle,
this chap more inclined
tubby in a greater mood
to parade around

this non-crowded house shirtless
AND definitely NOT in public,
BUT no weigh Jose
would this generic guy go completely ****
cuz being self-consciousness of my physique
might prompt outsiders
to consider me a *****
and even during closed bedroom door
****** exploits deter me tibia rude
fellow (with average go daddy long legs)

and my dangling dipstick smallish
(concluding biology *******)
a chap worthy tube he more endowed,
though gratitude proffered
to same divine cosmic consciousness
but as the year's pile up appreciation
of functional faculties alter matts' at tee 'tude
accepting physical characteristics
more or less static
*** ping believe mass elf ya wood.
Nsync with variations on a theme:
of drool worthy Reuben Sandwich
(consisting of corned beef,
Swiss cheese, sauerkraut,
Russian dressing between slices
of rye bread that is grilled
until the bread is crispy
and the cheese melts)
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades
mostly I did merrily wet
an appetite for consummation
whet madness aye ever did dream.

The missus personal trappings
strewn helter skelter
after a hard day's night
every perilous step fraught
with danger field analogous
riding as passenger
with death cab for cutie
'course thy quasi
bohemian rhapsodic Queen
of denial feigns ignorance

attributes hazardous condition
linkedin with accident prone
little lord Fauntleroy's
double doppelganger, me
trumpeting pet husband,
her unrequited germane Liebchen
willing to risk life and limb
doting hand and foot
as proper husbandly duties.

He (ahem... me) exhibits drama
whimsically visiting slapstick pantomime,
especially pretending to remove sneakers
pulling with all my feeble strength
off little feet of wife
half-heartedly struggling,
(stringent rule of shoe game)
lamely denouncing marriage
nevertheless conveying jollity
regarding marital entrapment
er... rather unbridled wedded bliss
constituting fits and starts enduring
about two and a half dozen years.

I reciprocated amorousness,
whether toward MaryAnne,
(his long ago coldly dismissed
sagacious enchanting first paramour,
(half a dozen years my senior),
sported webbed wide whirled toes,
whose astrological forecast
accurately predicted promising
acquaintanceship/relationship – tanked

potential sage rubber soul mates
(two plus score years ago -
gone to naught),
which latter aforementioned
delightfully humble lass
decried he fomented
incessant emotional grief,
he cruelly (albeit unwittingly)
doled out nothing

but lackluster lovelessness
attributed to identical
astrological zodiac signs (Capricorn)
(matter of fact shared same birth date
January 13th - six years age difference)
and similar flat wide thumb
stubborn misconstrued perception,
whereby fancy free and footloose
selfish nasty short brute nevertheless
deemed himself undeserving of love - humph!

Addeneum: Approximately
four plus decades
re: one quarter century after
aforementioned baptismal initiation
love stricken paroxysm
forty fifth president of United States
took (i.e. plagiarized) many pages courtesy,
cruel playbook authored
by Matthew Scott Harris,

who left trail of heartbroken sage woman
commander in chief deliberately stoked,
née sparked long
simmering, smoldering, and stewing
long fostering white supremacist altercation
fiendishly igniting racial conflagration
exploding during late spring 2020.

No matter no child left behind kibitzing
(yours truly as boy plucked petals
off daisy reciting "she loves me,"
"she loves me not"...
cupid loosed an arrow
into boyhood neighborhood sweetheart

she innocently bespoke
"I wanna marry you,"
when uttered courtesy Sherry Jones,
a little girl who lived
approximately three doors down
along cul-de-sac within Apple Valley
perpendicular to Lantern Lane,
or more age apropos,

when young gallivanting
purported vestal ****** ladies
nonverbally signalled
libidinal proclamations of emancipation,
as demurely expressed
lest unlucky (chaste into)
precocious ******* proclivity
suffered the punishment
of being buried alive.

Now back to present day,
when our old geezer,
the prototype garden variety
male of present poem -
any resemblance between general referenced
funny good fella and
living persons purely coincidental.

He (yours truly) easily qualified as
overly cocky whippersnapper,
i.e. young feisty buck
and/or Casanova wannabe
experienced bit torrent
hormonal secretions gushed
particularly in close proximity
wherein wafted pheromones -
think a waif faring ingénue.

As evident and quite obvious,
I fabricate (prevaricating
my signature trademark)
rather than stating bland reality stark,
yet will plainly explain issue
in summary essential rhyme
without reason constitutes
nothing more spectacular than
garden variety generic pockmark
excised pustule ofttimes hallmark
of teenage/ pubescent pimply benchmark.
This just...in...
     Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
     Highland Manor mission control...
     I reed you soft and vague...,
     why...lace hymn ha shoes,
bless ma hush puppies tongue,
     and save my unglued soul
lettuce be hoed - heal thee

     bountiful cobbler skills,
     and declare today
     a salad day holiday,
     yea..and please ex queues
me, but how boot we
     even invite a troll,
     the nastiest, meanest,
     and leanest, and moost a muse

zing, (plus all three Bill
     Goats Gruff - no kidding)
     in order to celebrate
     Matthew Scott Harris,
     cuz he accomplished,
     an ear raking impossible goal
only unscathed
     with moderate injury

     limited to both Achilles heal,
     whereas his little duffed feet...
     suffered toe till
     black deckered bruise
according to emergency
     medic Doctor Scholl
oh...no...,..."crackling noise,"
     the on call ambulance

     just gave me more
     devastating clues
he broke down in tears,
     and **** in con soul
able, no matter he scored
     a victorious dues,
where matthew didst payless
     than three dollars

     at Liberty Thrift store
     snagging snug as
     a bug in a rug,
     and perfect fit
     ting akin to gloved hand
just like brand "new"
     slightly pre worn sneakers
     (big toenail graces

     foremost edge),
yet the sorrowful downside
     left size nine hole
in his heart, cuz final respect
     paid during vespers service
and after open casket views
in somber regard to

     battered, critically most
     raggedy in the whole
world wide web,
     those knockabout "sneaks"
tattered e'en nosed turned up,
     sans Snoop doggy dog chews.
Saturday, December 21 Military Time 2319

(According to website:
https://earthsky.org/astronomy-
essentials/everything-you-need-
to-know-december-solstice.)

Hark the herald angels sing
yea, only one hundred ten days,
I started counting until spring
as proclaimed courtesy
yours truly, a fellow Earthling.
Mine tolerance to endure
brutally cold weather quite plain

decreases in direct proportion
as orbitz around El Sol increase,
hence subsequent heft to weather
old man winter doth wane,
no matter majority mein kampf birthdays
lived hashtagged Southeastern
Montgomery, Pennsylvanian.

Climate change slated
to ratchet up temperatures,
thus quaint Currier
and Ives existence dated,
whereby relics portraying
old man winter curated
within (ironically enough)
climate controlled and heavily gated
surveilled environment freighted

replete with trappings created,
back in the day when bomb cyclones
nsync with polar vortex precipitated,
where global warming naysayers skated
on thin ice ignoring strong voice dictated

by diminutive Swedish
activist Greta Thunberg severely castigated
passive grownups, said
slip o' lass generated
cult like following despite

her petite, yet enervated
larger than life presence, especially venerated
by young people cohort, who felt infuriated
unheeded apocalyptic warnings
inadvertently kickstarted,
motivated, and promulgated
green revolution proudly designated
government, née said youth
zealously, vociferously, righteously,

opportunistically arrogated
take charge attitude
(think) wartime economy escalated
forcing drastic paradigm shift
diminishing nightmare demise calculated
to reign death and destruction,
nonetheless untolled cruelty
permanently and wantonly eradicated
multitudinous swaths of life forms.
For preservation, salvation,
and veneration, though with hold
ding temptation two mike
pence sieve lee clear,
to immoral majority mold
toot hoods, (those bajillion
Americans unanimously polled)
did want me to broadcast, communicate,

and declare, sans mock cut up fold
drawl migrant accent,
(no matter I'm getting old),
nonetheless Ivana trumpet from Taj Mahal
straight to Mar-A-Lago) all told,
plus thank commensurate Republicans
(past or present), who extolled,
an invisible grandiose fire walled

barricade (donning, enclosing,
and fortifying) against Carl mauled
din lookalike hackers,
despite one sporting "FAKE"
hook nosed, hunchbacked
donned with torn (Turin) shawled,
shrouded, and disguised vagrant, indigent,
double chinned agent – bald

(except for being bewigged),
viz flowing locks of "FAKE" gold
in toe with Amazon heavily funded
unbridled trailing retinue
chanting appellation Matthew
Scott Harris alias Oswald),
no matter said faux
renegade twittering lobbyists

flock (like lemmings) within his fold,
and will happily, laughably parody
any vigilantes spot on cold,
what with his bugs
bunny eyed (What's up Doc)
intent reader rabbit stare,
that doth playfully scold
any Bare Ladies *******

linkedin, NOT nsync
with netiquette politesse mold
dinned communication, (asper
my pork chopped message
higglety pigglety divulged)
obeying tacit gold
din rule to hoodwink public, nonetheless
lemme exemplify, how

Democrats plan to hold
world web hostage
by secret Ransomware sold,
thru dark web bitcoin blockchain trolled
to collude with "crooked Hillary"
under Ponzi scheme auspices doled

courtesy, sans spongebobsquarepants
omnipotent NON GMO
gluten CRISPR rolled
oat sized INTEL nanobots,
no bigger than mold
spores heavily scrutinizing,
policing, monitoring and
fortifying electronic Internet scaffold.
Weather beaten cap'n,
     and watertight bewitched craft
time tested since maiden voyage
     (circumnavigating the globe
back in the day
of my youth),
I ranked tough as a pitbull,
     when severely pitted

     against raw elements
     of swiftly tailored,
     harried stylish nature
     against leathery faced
     reptilian skin, hard drinking
(actually as corked
poetic convenience - vermouth
arbitrary bottle of choice

     if for no other reason,
     than to rhyme
     with the above line),
and tobacco spitting, while

colorfully swearing as an uncouth
Furies (of Agamemnon) fighting (tooth
     and nail) Pirate,
     where rickets, scurvy,
and thrice unconscious,
currently ample proof
could not forsooth
bring me to

     Davy Jones's locker,
     cuz I never wanna
get relegated to an underwater
whale schooled booth,
this raconteur can nonchalantly,
glibly, and blithely attest,
with braggadocio, despite
no warm welcome will

     ever greet mine tinnitus
     pained ears, I can plainly
imagine acrimonious retort
upon me behest
his far more'n lifetime
bobbing (like a sponge)
buoyed atop crest
longing e'en for

     (carping, caviling, hen pecking,
     or shrewish) wife,
     and loving family
forsaken, sans living
antisocial upon briny deep divest
many opportunities to
experience wedded, webbed
and whirled bliss,

and hence for everest
as bachelor, especially
     at present junction
     of twilight years,
     my crude manners
makes foreign (for
an) ill suited guest
boot e'en if yours truly

     became inured to life on land,
(as a "FAKE" father figure
feathering his nest
my coarse behavior, as basic
electric koolaid acid test
     would force even

the most tolerant proprietor,
perhaps a bank
manager at Univest
would utter VAMOOSE,
     e'en if eye covered up
my heavily pierced,
and tattooed breast.
dramatically expanding spouse,
when adorning buttons
pop off undersized blouse
which spurs yours truly to grouse,
and ruffle mine tail feathers
while listening to Scheherazade.

Eats her weigh out of home and house
unsolicited feedback courtesy
quite doubtful, she could pose
for ******* and/or penthouse
returning explicit volley
of trailing appellations lobbed

expletive laced epithets
directed at her husband the louse
in lame retaliation deftly
sparring as he doth rouse
himself out of his vittle catatonic state
thus muenster ring cheeses crust
squeaks (me) meek Mickey Mouse.

When I did pledge troth
after courtship she would not abate
aboot two plus dozen years ago
(spoiler alert) wheezing
heterosexually straight
half heartedly accepting her

asthma wife sne...
snee...sneezing mate
even then, she exhibited
appetite for consumption
defying four foot eleven
petite size then, a score
plus quarter years ago lightweight
possessed cute figure.

Now, she eats
non stop while rocking round the clock
stationing, lumbering, burgeoning
girth casting dock
shadows analogous to
edge of night
donning humongous frock
to allow growing room
for extra buttock

vacuuming any/all
comestibles in sight
downing, emptying, gulping
refrigerator contents chock a block
nearly suctioning him,
who doth tongue in cheek mock
think apple pie, yet for
grace of dog ad hoc
anchoring spindleshanks laughingstock
skinny chicken legs (mine)

with knees that knock
worse than concentration camp victim,
(this gentile Jewish atheist gently pock
king fun without intent to rock
the casbah, nor ethnically clash
mainly innocent poetic schlock),
nonetheless chicken legs
repurposed to anchor lock
stock and barrel Matthew Scott
madly flapping wings imitating flock

of seagulls to no avail
this shabby not so chic flabby baby boomer
body, mum mama
(deceased eighteen plus years)
followed dietary strictures touted by
the late Doctor Benjamin McLane Spock,
no matter, I got hoovered
into maw of tee misses,
who instantaneously
spit out awful poppycock.
me thoughts infused
with thom hankering for yesteryear
circa antebellum i.e.
American Civil War era veer
rilly, teetering, smoldering, rumbling
upon iniquitous tier

United States greenacres crossroads
with petticoat junction spear
ritually hexed courtesy anti abolitionists
pitted against unfair
slavery, yours truly spellbound
gravitating, fixating, entrancing,

an invisible sonneteer
disembodied spirit transported
back in time,
qua closing first decade
of twenty century aware
how historical events will unfold,

yet lacking means
to affect alternate outcome,
though yearning to spare
fledgling democracy deaf to blare
ring coming fury me unseen
relishing preponderant naiveté

and childlike innocence
before internecine warfare
many stripling young lads,
yet to sprout ****** hair
trumpeting, scampering, rejoicing
after favored lass with no care

gathering rosebuds while they may
before their brave hearts got
touched, torched, taxed...
with fire, ah... so cavalier
wondering, speculating, nursing
curiously piqued how adaware

those who frolicked
within Autumn mist did revere
observing what didst appear
oblivious laughter and attitude
analogous to good cheer
omnipresent at Renaissance Faire,

no doubt trials and tribulations
compromised welfare
envious countless scores generations
past knew not global threats,
nonetheless societal fabric circa
early/mid nineteenth century

severely wrenched when
Emancipation Proclamation didst declare
manumision, though sadly
blatant anti semitism, bigotry, racism...,
trumpeted within rank putrid odor
doth still fill the air!
(alternately titled: Typical daily mindset today –
July 17th, 2020)

The following words
mostly unredacted, nevertheless finessed
for curbed poetic/prosaic appeal
lock, stock and barrel
codify, and edify (hoopfully not mortify)
any reader unbeknownst and/or familiar
with unsteady state of yours truly,
(an ordinary garden variety generic guy)

who ofttimes expresses suicidal ideations
merely freed pent up
watery melancholic thoughts
(pitted within his psyche)
to experience vicariously personal impact
how such Earth shattering words of finality
might affect (or not) an anonymous reader.

Additionally I gave literary weight
to morbid topic confounding
moost every sentient and sensate human being
unable to escape her/his ultimate demise
eventually laid claim
by grim reaper
who unfailingly claims corporeal essence

which accepted fate
impossible mission to envision,
yet as chronological orbitz figuratively accrued
heightened awareness proportionately pronounced
(at least within mine cerebral cortex)
thus teasing out mortality
to comprehend (even minimally)
such mind boggling concept.

No immediate recourse sought
to compromise, exorcise, jeopardize, et cetera
the mailer daemons powerfully fraternizing
gamesomely cavorting, ripsnorting,
and yes terrorizing
sinusoidal undulations whatsapp

pining within mine approximately
deux clenched fist sized brain
temporary organic matter
lodged within the noggin
of one contemplative, intuitive,
and ruminative **** sapien.

Mine skeptical papa helped beget me,
a stranger in a strange land,
I experience difficulty breathing
despite pitch perfect cloudless ether
analogously steeped in foreign air,
as surviving foreigner,
one doubting Thomas
(English muffin) niggling heir.

Nostalgic reminiscences venerated zealously
violently pound every square inch,
where thinking transpires
within convolutions characterizing fifty shades
of gray matter lodged
clapping hands upon ears
renders a feeble attempt
to block deafening mind chatter.

I precariously perch
(albeit metaphorically)
perch upon precipice
staring into infinite abyss
hesitant to bid thee world
of the livingsocial adieu
trembling, kickstarting, fumfering...
apprehensive, tentative, wary

regarding permanent solution
to temporary emotional ill
afore taking leave,
where family bids me good riddance
bon voyage into netherlands
long sought realm of hereafter
abounding with peacefulness
of body, mind, and spirit.

Linkedin with hypothetical
undertaking that envisions me dead
preceding lines fell shy describing scenario
analogous to internal civil war playing out
inside formerly nasal twanging talking head,
(above attributed to submucous cleft palate)
yours truly characterized asthma worst enemy led
imagine pacifist sent into battle without mercy

futile effort foregone conclusion,
hence pointlessness witnessing
prayer for salvation, which I ne'er pled
akin to Isaac Bashevis Singer Gimpel the fool
and/or kamikaze pilot
one and/or another rushed in
where angels feared to tread.

More'n devilish tomfoolery,
I disclosed wretched mental state
no, not necessarily continuous
unbridled intense self destruction within me pate
more so chronic **-hum ambivalent attitude
quite upsetting thee missus, i.e. me mate

more often than not
no surprise predominant moody blue
exhibited courtesy yours truly,
twould be antonym of jubilate
tis the exception when I feel
(likened to Tony the tiger) grrrrrreat!
Though I wrote no book
attention summoned to look
at following--->>>

predicated upon past and present, I gauge
will offer ogre golden opportunity
to rewrite anarchistic playbook page
with rightist extremist to rage
usurping future political stage
cuz civil war he aims to wage.

Impossible mission, nonetheless
eschatological, diabolical, critical...
dire straits betokens armageddon.

Upon virtual wall wordsmith
nsync with adept graffiti artist wrote
toadyism prevalent when electorate will vote
on Tuesday, November 4th, 2024
Grand Old Party trumpets intent to smote
vestige of liberty,
where outspoken libertarian orators quote
freedom fighting martyrs
cite American Democracy legacy as footnote
hellacious, ghoulish, fiendish,
egregious demagogues cutthroat
eliminated candidates begetting antidote.

Courtesy human papilloma virus (HPV)
begets growth(s) designated as wart
unwanted infection easily remedied
unlike deadly societal blight necessitating
mandatory voting obligation to thwart
lest one unwittingly greenlights
horrible malevolent former poor sport
forty fifth president of United States
twice eluding impeachment
earned him dubious distinction
counts mobocracy within in his court
even at expense sacrificing
national pride birthing enfant terrible
monster Roe versus Wade cannot abort.

Above prognostication gives casus belli to y'all
bespeaks impending apocalyptic windfall
Spanish and English writing on border wall
homegrown garden variety apprenticed screwball,
muster civilians and military troops coup to marshall
law brinkmanship ticks doomsday clock, hence the call
weapons of mass destruction concomitant ashfall

overthrowing pathological megalomaniac
née commandeer of human abuses free world oh God,
this exclamation ******* courtesy house atheist
runs ruinously, reprehensibly, rampantly roughshod
scaring out bejesus within winkin blinkin and nod
land of powdermilk biscuits and raw bits promises
to become ground zero predicated boneheaded clod.

Atrocious, cantankerous, egregious,
grievous, ignominious... dispensing
most every venerated, ushered, touted,
sacred, revered, pronouncing
progressive amendments dead
on arrival blithely shredding to tatters
hard won diplomacy courtesy talking head
likewise progressive reforms since Fred
Flintstone days of yore shelving
codied, ratified, sanctified... shed
jeweled important legislation,
plus Russian musk cows to wed
Putin on the ritz.

Blasphemous, cantankerous, deleterious...
execrable folly... doth seed
subsequently begetting and breed
anarchy, chaos, hell, plus helps
foment pernicious, ominous,
noxious, malodorous... misdeed
pitting one against another creed
internecine warfare, where liveried
troops don (auld) alternative energy
fighting gear powering, i.e. ac/dc freed

one or more ***** deed
done dirt cheap reducing at lightspeed,
the hard fought/won democratic
inalienable rights purportedly guaranteed
by United States constitution,
(though oft times bias, i.e. reed
anti semitism, charade, facade...) heed
trample equality, morality, universality...
making mockery (attested bleed
courtesy flagrant historical extant bigotry,
chicanery, depravity... greed).

Yours truly wears non matching
Buster Brown shoes and socks,
nevertheless I step off figurative soapbox
dodging any lobbed missiles or rocks,
no surprise bullied by same jocks,
who tormented me during high school
probably tattooed, pierced, and bald of locks
unlike yours truly, he sports quasi dreadlocks
as aging pencil neck geek feeling giddy
giving above inebriate of air spiel
quite alarmed as time ticks    
countdown approach to doomsday
when apocalypse harkened and heralded
courtesy atomic clocks.
Fifth commandment breached regularly
epidemic of gun violence in America
bullets fly, scream and tear into flesh
senseless rampant mass killings
rip across fabric of society
buzzfeeding, jump/kickstarting,
paradigm of mortality.

Since January first
two thousand and twenty three
countless innocent people lost lives
deliberately, yet randomly targeted
shot dead at point blank range
merely going about
their ordinary business.

No clear cut motive nor profile
delineates active shooter(s),
who could be either (or any) gender
and range in age
from grade school to septuagenarian.

The latest homicides woo,
and appease the grim reaper,
where gunman(men)/women slew
***** deeds done dirt cheap
many baker's dozen innocent people
unknowingly and unwittingly drew
(rather gurgled) their last breath
choking on splintered blood vessels
beckoning, issuing, and twittering minimal
horrific animal primal gasps and groans.

Adversarial criminal minds
finds yours truly to interject
reasonable parenthetical rhyme without reason,
thus I temporarily tack tangentially offtrack
with cogent concise contemplation
to extemporize, lyricize, and soliloquize
brutal nasty senselessness
perpetrated courtesy fearsome
half cocked pistol packing maniacs,
whereby evils unrelentingly replaying nightmare
(exceeding cruelty by magnitudes administered

courtesy rocky horror picture show)
of gruesome carnage broadcast across
social media platforms
of killing fields anew,
in the minds of those unfortunate souls
who bear witness to deadly crime,
where odd stark juxtaposition
elicit skeletal goldenrods yellowed stalks
adrip with morning mountain dew
encompassing fresh footprints,
where berserk humans

prowling in the tall grass
(them of naked ape infamous
zoological niche) lately trod
in search of human prey
welcomed unsuspecting killer(s) true
colors transformed into hideous monsters
predictably soothing savage beasts
undertakers grisly task patching
shredded bodies after homicidal maniac
fired bullet(s) setting corpse
recalibrating counting queue.

As month one of new year
(according to Chinese tradition
water rabbit constitutes animal de jure)
allows, enables, and provides
brisk business for crematoriums
or funeral parlors.

Whether native American citizen
or foreigner (perchance student) slain
survivors bereave and issue final adieu,
whether gentile nor Jew,
perhaps including
child named Caillou
instantaneously slain, who
knew
not what felled them
engrossed amidst social ballyhoo

ex post facto registering grievous hue
pallbearers accentuating somber view
eclipsing most recent prior massacres
similar to previous you
ululations reverberate yesterday's sorrows
without handy dandy blue's clue
lame motive explaining
cold blooded slaughter
vis a vis unsurprising discover re:
firearms Jane/ John Q.

Public kept stashed loaded, deployed...
guns up the kazoo
cocked, gauged, primed...
for unleaded opportunity
to unleash barrage
invariable generating hullabaloo
to curb ****** violence
trumpeting predictable brew
ha ha alloyed against National
Rifle Association almighty

elephant in the room courtesy hathi howdah  
supported lobbyist's motley crew
(think three ring circus)
versus increased uproar
protesters chorus nearly few
tile opposition pitted grand Poobah
despite alarming statistics shew
plus increasing fresh gravesites dug
amidst freshly mowed fescue
attesting to wanton shell shocked
headlines indiscriminate brew

tilly assaulting sensibilities
without rhyme nor reason
yet, yours truly doth boo
leave rampant hatred
directly linkedin to
former "FAKE" commander in chief,
(biden his time as patient hunter)
whose acrid, horrid, rabid vitriol
still darkly colors political hue
man gushing ****** fountainhead few

ming and appreciable frothing
lathers up right wing supremacists
greenlighting smoldering new
bile radicals hot headed
volatile mindset whereby
self anointed anarchistic Guru
possibly fuels global warming
evidenced by displaced Inuits
flooding courtesy melting igloo.
166 · Dec 2023
Time bracketed between
December first nineteen fifty nine and
December first two thousand twenty three
represents sixty six orbitz
one prized Earthling
named Amélie Beth Harris-McGeehan
completed round the sun.

About half her life linkedin
with spousal enrichment,
(while hunkered down livingsocial
in Woodbury, New Jersey),
hence the hyphenated married name.

Though said endearing eldest sister
approximately thirteen plus months my senior,
ofttimes during mein kampf,
she displayed maternal (motherly) mien.

Back during mine boyhood
dark shadows along the edge of night
(emanating from outer limits
of the twilight zone)
spooked me to flinch
as did appearance
of the boogeyman induce affright
only exacerbated my delicate mental health
punctuated psyche of mine
with disequilibrium ******-social blight
above named sibling a protector I cite
twilled me in the valley

of love and delight,
an emotional refuge rescued sought
deliverance from anguish
loving succor proffered
peace upon mine body, mind, and soul,
she did immediately expedite
warming cockles of me heart
analogous to affecting, creating,
forging, jumpstarting, offering, and ushering
ideal paradise island temperature
if measured by degrees balmy fahrenheit
pointing, revealing, shining,

and training a guiding-light
unafraid to defend diminutive
docile, inordinately meek brother,
when threatened courtesy bullies
that significantly towered over mine
below average stature height
a measly little skinny, yet zany
(when within comfort of home) lad
naively oblivious to our mother,
when her first born daughter dynamic,
especially smoldering contention
kindled figurative tinder, which squabble

escalated in intensity
sparking vehement feud to ignite
loosing volatile verbal exchange
triggering The Emergency Alert System
to issue warning
lest clear and present danger
(at 324 Level Road)
recorded in history books
licking, overshadowing, rivaling,
and undermining revolution
kickstarted and hashtagged as Jacobite.
which ushered poetic reverberations across the universe.

Contrary to popular scientific
(regarding geologic phenomena)
and dished out according to plate tectonics
plate tectonics belief –
well... fork get about continental drift,
cuz tremendous convulsions arise,
when gods and goddesses
of the underworld experience good grief
courtesy **** sapiens
arrogant, haughty, ornery, vain, et cetera
running amuck atop planetary surface
laying waste and wreaking havoc
as an querulous, odious, murderous,
iniquitous, glutenous, excrementitious,
cancerous, atrocious, et cetera thief
the above communification,
and horrification, narration
predicated upon unpleasant dreams of mine.

A snippet of careering and careening
nocturnal cerebral manifestations
attributed to strong medicament
creating soundless clangorous din
ofttimes diabolical dreams
severely disrupt mine ability
to function throughout rest of day.

An adverse reaction
to one or more prescription medications
intended to combat anxiety, dysthymia, ocd,
and other psychological ills
(prescribed by Elizabeth Clark
Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner)
regularly, severely, and terribly
disrupts sleep of yours truly.

As a for instance recently,
I dreamt figments of mein kampf
fractured into a bajillion little pieces
when the final battle
between God and Satan
known as Armageddon occured (situated
within Megiddo Valley),
which I (a diehard skeptic) would not miss
Earth shattering event for the world!

A diabolical entity
(quaking with excitement)
accidently (perhaps purposely) let slip
the Apocalypse will strike
blank (redacted) days after today.

Yours truly along with bajillions
of other people held
captive upon oblate spheroid
will perish within blank (redacted) days.

Meanwhile,  I plod along
boulevard of broken dreams
**-hum fashion minding my p's and q's, oh
of course giving remaining twenty four letters
of English alphabet
their diligent due respect.

So much euphoria
suddenly bubbled forth,
where debilitating anxiety
would usually churn.

Though giddy with excitement,
(no more plaintive laments
about being dirt poor),
yet wincing back
concomitant sentiment also arose.

No matter both pseudo and real
contradictory reactions prevailed,
I did not experience anticipatory anxiety
that usually gets triggered regarding
some worrisome circumstance.
The aforementioned debacle
(impossible mission beset seismologists).
alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of my steamer.

A fool's errand finds me emptying out billfold,
especially as the winnings increase ninefold.

Paradise visage and eyes a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
from penury a distant battle fought
expect the usual outcome
after next drawing to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hard scrapple existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail
where fanciful notions pluck me out
being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine figurative longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate.

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with poetic third eye blind
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send
delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
(and divine inspiration - ha)
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue
while twittering and tweeting
“better luck next time.”
166 · Aug 2018
Got Any Ideas For A Poem?
Ha! That catch phrase
     (kid ding lee writ)
     hoop fully goat yar attention
truth be told, (no...no...
     no...not by me
     boat some tee else of course)
     mine min (yute) yen
for light banter i.e. badinage,

     (this ***** toad juiced ribbing...
     frog *** about it), yea,
     I know that punning
     while keying (NOT SAFE),
     sometimes dill lutes
     ma serious pickling attempt ren
doors an unsuspecting reader
     (bajillion times out of zero) pen

ultimately probably discourages,
     an increased virtual fanbase,
     rectified by the following asinine
     non-sequitur (a come men
dib bull double
     entendre) totally tubularly
     barbed with Freudian
     slip age, that ken

figuratively grab immediate
     interest of hen
pecked recipients (with pock marks
     to prove such assertion)
     might strongly concur even
without being aware how
     psychoanalysis ***** ******
significance of phallus

     in everyday affairs,
     particularly how peppy
     (even after applying
     WD-40) can rust
and/or atrophy as if cell bait,
     hence thee **** cree,    
     that ******* a must
(as told by this husband
    
     in a sexless marriage
     as a result, I might
     join a convent) as a lust
result, either that or
     go set me a
     watch woman as mistress
     tubby integrated within
     my private life

     even if one
     needs tubby bussed
from the outer limits of the
     sterling twilight
     zona pellucida ideally,
     where love of c**t tree and
     priapism maketh sea men go bust!
against light source well crafted
tubular structure appended with
eyepiece gazing offers viewer eye-
opening, mind boggling instantaneously
birthing then vanishing resplendent

myriad colorful geometric awesome
shifting shapes hypnotizing sight
seer whirling ****** where multi
faceted fractals display pin-wheeling

arithmetically perfect  triangulate squarely with
proportionate arcs astounding with blind faith
on microscopic scale analogous to cosmic big bang
spell-binding mankind from time immemorial when
her/his gaze turned heavenward peering into
azure vault – one macrocosmic hint per origin
from when on-looking proto-humans ruminated

inscrutably enamored at the spectacular eminence grise
forever holding mystery of universe evolution
in shroud of secret continually mystifying
one generation after another until twenty first
century astro-physicists begin to unravel evolutionary
tale writ small on planet earth yet storied tome

pried open from scientific revolutions enabling
birth of cosmos honed with more fine tuned precision
to zero in on precise second whence explosion filled void
with nebulous material coalescing into rudimentary
galactic masses generating vast surfeit of globular
structures evincing

conically swirling
millennially futuristic clear cut entities
upon which one – namely gaia
finds this sole member **** sapiens reveling
in his makeshift primitive contrivance

teasing ocular sense with visual *******
begetting thought provoking questions
into eternal wonderment that perchance
intelligent deity willfully rotates planet
some plaything synonymous mere mortal
peering into magic of kaleidoscope.
Thank dog, and cat,
     no pet tee filed - late fee
incurred from this
     sole heir, matted son
     Avenue of Harris communique
to his youngest sister
     busy as a queen bee,
her name mentioned

     backwards solely for
     wry ming sense – re:
garding Dunning-Harris Shari:
Not there need not
     be any clear cut,
     nor cloudy total
     reason to bolster wee
kind fortitude to write

an email (albeit
     with my characteristic
     trademark rhyme) to in vite
my own impetus to dash
     off a friendly hello
     in a gentle
effort to unite
sibling camaraderie,

     whether this
     material in question
profound or trite
with no pro noun
     sub bull adverbial,
     or adjectival intent,
and of course nada spite,
this exercise to compose,

     whatever occurs within
mum mind quite
     likely to concern
     general circumstances,
rather than touch upon
     any single plight
since, an easily educated guess
     can paint (no Norman

     Rockwell) framed palette,
     (sans dystopian
     picture) outright
and despite whatever hardship,
     with curtain call on this
     November 11th, 2018 night,
a flickr ring, instagram, and
     kickstarter motive might

be fulfilling tummy,
     that ever so quickly
     the dimming light
(when the scythe lint
     covered grim reaper)
perhaps attired as
     21st century LGBT knight,
the latter once

     sip pawn a time...,
     now he iz a
     messenger simply bear
ring pleasant tidings,
     and also an effort
     to express, how
ye didst (aunt still do) care
(uncle Andy as well)

     for Shana Punim,
     who on a do able dare
to be doted upon, and offered
     to go here, there,
     and everywhere
experiencing a gamut of
     eye opening globe trotting
     (Watch out Harlem

     basketball Boyz to men) hair
reed tailored, and swiftly styled
     educational adventures
     adding learning and zest
to life, liberty, and purrs
     suit of feline doth wrest
good development
     of character to in vest

patterning herself after
     exemplary guardians
     sometimes you might
     be feeling beat,
     when embarking upon
     latest electric kool aid acid test,
nonetheless, this
     missive of gratitude,

     where thee darling daughter
     doth conquer one quest
after another (principally attributed
     to thee, who NEVER protest
obligations, but
     launch with confidence,

     whether feathering
     the Gadshill nest,
or...furthering education keeping
     body, mind, and spirit
     sharpened as best
Yukon Mount attain.
caricature sketch of person best known to yours truly

What began as an honest
to goodness attempt
to craft personal truthful profile
evolved into a fictional poem
manifested into the following.

Despite the onslaught of paparazzi,
I (an eccentric kindhearted sexagenarian -
born January xiii, mcmlix
at The Christ Hospital
within Mount Auburn, Ohio)
instantaneously shied, blinked away
from the spot (klieg) lights,
and avoided crowdsource
most of my iv and lx orbitz

round the earth mainly on account
of being gifted with introvertedness
somewhat minimized by bottle fed
powder milk then subsequently
licking, gnawing (actually gumming),
and chomping on biscuits,
which magical and top secret ingredients
(heavily guarded courtesy

Norwegian bachelor farmers)
gave this once painfully shy person
indomitable, formidable,
and creditable courage
to face fearful fixes
such as getting up out of bed
first thing in the morning
and crafting a poem..

Posthumous fame and fortune
will launch then rocket
one veritable unknown
aspiring, inspiring, outgoing
and unflagging wordsmith
(legend in his own mind)
unwittingly slated to shunt
next of kin into the pantheon
of storied poets even feeble attempts

at his mediocre reasonable rhymes
feebly attempting to communicate
a not so stellar existence punctuating
(while dragon coccygeal tailbone pronounced
along the boulevard of broken dreams),
a battle of life waged
against being trumpeted
as some freak of nature
(a controversial incontrovertible

standard compact prodigal son)
birthed courtesy éminence grise
famous prolific father,
who begat him -
unnamed de jure heir
to the family fortune/empire -
longevity of libido potion,
when said parent a centenarian
far beyond (where's the beef)
viz chronological virility age

severely testing scant minority,
when seething hormonal fluid
loosed into chamber of secretes
(think fecund female) and pushing
biological envelope in situ regarding
outer limits when males can still procreate
versus majority doddering, hobbling,
and lobbying along lovely bones,
when their get up and go got up and went
into those twilight zone of years.

Invariably many an older gent
sought to lay claim as doppelgänger
of humble fellow, whose countless progeny
incorporated a zip code unto themselves,
and for an unnamed dollar figure
(one comprising many zeros and commas)
small dollop would be sold to highest bidder.

Meanwhile, or until
that futuristic manifest destiny
I currently sequester myself within
cupboard workspace
within one bedroom man cave
labeled b44 as flickering candlelight
casts dark shadows across the outer limits
of the twilight zone
soon to silently pronounce
the figurative curtain call

on another mundane day,
no different than previous,
nor promising variation
on a theme of ennui
(self quarantine against 10000 maniacs)
following twenty four hour time frame
witnessed by mine feeble scratchings
across the rocky surface doing double duty
as crude table and writing surface
since yours truly lacks
for paper pencil or electronic device.

Lack of formal education
found me forced to teach yours truly
reading, writing, and arithmetic
while I hibernate until the conclusion
of total mortal kombat
allows, enables, and provides me
chance close encounters of the third kind
ideally to be fruitful and multiply
amidst dystopian landscape.
Once again mine lock, stock
and barrel trade in balderdash
finds yours truly (i.e. me)
to type poem frisson a$$ off
as dentures chatter and gnash,
while still inside me gobstopper,
(the sole way to generate
plea for coveted heat),

which will moost likely
meet chilly reception
whereby ye will predictably
not even bat an eyelash
perchance receive critical backlash
'pon reading what qualifies
as mine trademark mishmash,

yet though just axing you to quash
knee **** reaction, or
unfairly con sitter me brash
not trying to make waves splash,
cuz yours truly prefers
amenable conflict resolution versus
airing sentiments online,
where differing opinions

spark byte size clash,
diminishing sympathy for
devilish dude with toothless flash,
(who by the way could benefit
courtesy bajillion dollars in cash),
though lavish largesse
much appreciated stash.

Superfluous here within chilly apartment
reasonably rhyming lament,
cuz central heater spews
cool air out vent,
no matter Kevin with son Kyle
(two man maintenance crew)
formerly named recently
replaced small circuit board,

mine genuine acknowledgement
once given, I surmised meant
his professional technical services
would be unnecessary,
until hot steamy summer weather
necessitates well mannered climate
controlled environment,

whereby malfunctioning
central air conditioning,
would find yours truly
donning bare banal civilities
(think emperor and his
new nonexistent/see thru clothes)
as totally tubular tumblr
harmless long haired fervent

pencil necked baby boomer gent
chilling profusely sweaty geek,
(matt her horn fact dashing
apostle impossible mission
not to chuckle testament)
speeding unsightly birthday suit
scaring old fogey folks out their wits,
especially seeing petrified
atrophied balled naughty BitTorrent.
Aye agreed
and did promise to pledge troth
faster than greased lightning airspeed
once the missus temporarily
ceased menarche regarding monthly bleed
became in family way with child

thee eldest, whom one day may breed
opting out begetting offspring
later versus schooner, I must concede
first born proactive with beau
raising one or more progeny
sprouting like loco crazyweed

hypothetical kin unschooled,
viz no particular
race, religion, creed...
cuz unlike das papa,
she carefully plots
being University of Penna degreed

shipshape smarts anchors ahoy mate
well seasoned life, yes indeed
unlike me ***** cocked,
limp bizkit primed to hawk kitty
then future spouse did not intercede
once peppy begged, connived,

dictated tug get freed
birth control neither I,
nor missus did heed
sowing wild oats courtesy yours truly
didst adeptly beg, burrow, knead
mini straw nee

testosterone totally tubular
lil trouser snake proceed
letting call of wild take lead
tube (steak king claim for fatherland)
heady after slurping boot legged mead
wharf four hide hid bungle exceed

ding whacking thru jungle of lady love
until...making head way
verboten fruit fricasseed
stifled unnatural prime mate years
pent up ****** urge, thus did supercede
pitched, hitched, ditched

libido in throes of monkish celibacy,
procreating analogous to filigreed
custom made jewel,
thence sore relief yours truly did need
at seminal moment ******* seed
with snoop doggy dogg speed

generating prickly heat
inducing ***** fied stampede
appetite for reproduction
essentially kitty feed
bubbling self cleaning oven
after getting ****** asthma gumweed

glommed, where male member
tiptoed thru tulips
playing biological equivalent
risque business "Russian roulette"
pregnancy eventually guaranteed.
165 · Dec 2018
Quest Shuns Truth
Avid interest prevails
for this "news *****" to get affix -
hence kudos for journalists,
who risk life and limb - bricks
bats clobber such
daring persons, who strive
like fledgling chicks

to get bonafide storied scoop,
especially when video flicks
capture shame faced
depravity, or worse,
these days many brave souls
killed for kicks,

nonetheless paltry posthumous tribute paid,
with primitive cross made of sticks
assassins gun down, (or **** some other way
to silence frontline factfinders),
sans brutal, short and ruses and tricks.

as a concerned global
citizen, an ache
prevails to glean abhorrently
base, corruptly demonic,
evilly ferocious, gory henchmen,
insidiously kindle and break

king the lofty liberty, laudatory
ambitious aims of
REAL versus "FAKE"
information, and praise to die hard,
fearless, and intrepid soul who make
searching for raw bits their mission

so such valuable
nuggets of verity slake
my unquenchable thirst
to gain insight take
a moment of silent
appreciation so I a can wake

without a trace
of doubt within
mine cerebral space
the outrageous naked
issues afflicting race
religion, nationality, et cetera

co opting and out pace
sing modern day torch bearing
apostles amazingly grace
fully doggedly persevering
despite the ugly face

of thuggish sinister rogues
damning to erase
any iota of factual happenings
emboldened duty bound scribes chase.
165 · Oct 2018
Besieged By Fruit Flies
Dark shadows akin to edge of night
affected by massive infestation of
     Drosophila melanogaster light
(scientific name as
     same itty bitty
winged flitting nuisance ignite
     mentioned in title) besieged,
inundated, and thickly swarmed

dost primp and pretty
fie themselves (to
     attract a witty
mate) during their
     40 to 50 days city,
or suburban life
     cycle long enough
     to qualify for this

     quickly written ditty
seemingly overnight
     a bajillion biz zee
buzzing adults (each
     about 1/8 inch long see
their world wide web,
     thru at least one
unusual red eye,

which compound eye
     of the fruit fly
contains 760 unit
     eyes or ommatidia,
     well nigh
hapt tubby one of the most
     advanced among insects,
     where Google search

     for home remedies aye
didst find to exterminate
     these teeny weeny pests,
     plus informational pursuit my
instantaneous curiosity yielded
     above mentioned
     esoteric tidbits,
     sans accidentally disc

     covered helpful good riddance
     material of household ingredients
     restraining me to breathe sigh
of dollop, and hope to try
one or more solutions,
     which informed
     this amateur entomologist -

listed forthright as:
1.Create a trap by mixing
apple cider vinegar
with a few drops of dish soap.
2. Another home-made trap is to
pour leftover red wine into a jar.
3. Mash up banana slices in a jar, and
cover top with a plastic wrap.
4. Pour bleach solution
into bathroom sink.
iz only wishful thinking

Political polls whether advisory still consider
forty fifth president
dangerous, hazardous, lymphomatous...
known to wield violent blows,
his delusional perception analogous
to fable regarding emperor without any clothes
best to handle beast with more'n kid gloves,
cuz he appears immune to mortality
exhibits symptoms hinting death throes,
as synonymous with Covid-19
and lo similar to Phoenix, he rises again,
yet more pressing headline
of immediate portent woes,

whereby Vladimir Putin hankers
to forge one former Soviet Republic
after the other as putty in his hands
squeezing population as malleable tool
wielding iron clad rule across
the webbed wide world as cruel
de facto, harsh, jackbooted,
malevolent oppressive totalitarian
******* up charges against Ukraine!

Pastor Of Muppets –
shout huzzah no mo' Trump
he's Gone er re: ya - ha
especially “father figure”and meme burr
of the Diatribe for Miss Piggy.
About thirty three months until
2024 presidential election
emotional repercussions still reverberate
how reprobate Trump aims to triumph
graduating magma *** lug head
if not him, one of his henchmen
to become leader of the free world
tampering, gaming (gerrymandering),
bribing to ace highest score
viz Electoral College examination.

Noah yam aghast as Donald Trump
once before nominated president elect,
or more apropos apprentice,
a teetotaler exhibits delirium tremens,
drunk with power to reign
brings corporeal bristling
foretells premonition
regarding apocalyptic approaching
dystopian crisis – as Russian troops
get ready and set to aim muzzle
visualized by yours truly
one basket of deplorable fitbit,

whose shell shocked eggs esse
hints did not peter out
re: fate rigged 2016 election
courtesy Russian uber vice squad
to lyft self anointed deity
appalled hike confess
at prospect outsize bully nabbed
most sought after Whitehouse seat - ugh guess
thine psyche fearful that arrogance, indecency,
pomposity, and vivacity
to break ranks and restore Hess

shun militaristic modus operandi
crowning himself grand poobah
King Kong of Amerika - applauded
by a *** dread locked Klansmen less
or more, with spirit of a jolly roger intent
shredding sacred documents,
and creating a horrible mess
ages will require to restore
prestigious, righteous, and officious,
amazing gracious steeped
in legacy of forefathers and mothers,
which democratic rubric

Paine stay king lee
easel lee trampled oh press
sieve lee in sync with missteps
made during on the job training
at national ex pence augments
ominous ramping up of Tess
toss tear roan, wherefore
if happenstance finds Czech mated xpress
train tearing down the tracts,
we the people of the United States  
vouchsafe for a veep ping Petsmart
prodigy to take over – YES!
165 · Aug 2023
Natural soporific narcotic
Recurrent suicidal thoughts
vaingloriously wend along winding road
within windmills of my mind
(o'er a death cab for cutie weeknd)
yakking, yanking, and yawking zeal
becalming this crash test dummy rolling
stone temple pilot inxs
of maroon 5 plus decades long
perdition hellaciously slogging
slow as adam and the ants,
thru fifty shades of gray's

anatomy common weal
masterly baiting this motley crue (cutting),
beatles browed, beastie boy,
foo fighters kickstart new edition
quickening reo speedwagon treadwheel
outre gee (bee) us, grateful dead,
mailer daemons inhabit
cavernous fist size vastness steel
via herbie hancock (hermans hermits)
cheesy munster trap doors that steal,

deep purple swiftly tailored
culture club members squeal
hosted by megadeath
pack rat boston for real
venue at tokyo hotel,
via en grave invitation
signed by alice in chains poison huss kiss
sing, which will spellbind
once contents unveiled,
an instant jane's addiction peal

immediately choking off air supply
then alice cooper egging bad company
to hypnotize the guess who sacrificial meal
supplanting raw
primal scream from spinal tap
acquiescing self to abandon all hope,
especially if black sabbath joins
creedence clearwater revival
dark shadows would demand one
(to take a knee) and kneel

before sacrificing oneself
at the beck and call
of evanescent nirvana
experiencing permanent relief,
sans soul (twisted) sister riding a hansom
off phish hull heart shaped coffin
ample room enough for blind
melon collie 10,000 maniacs,
their healing powers profusely emanating
via m&m shaped talking heads

methinks averring obeisance
to judas priest and *******
with coldplay feel
ling of eternal sleep,
where quiet ***** riot
joins carpenters, whose underground
bunker with golden arches
resembles empyreal
heavenly vault wreathed
with electric light orchestra

sepulchral crowded house indicative
cynthesis iz a done
dizzy gillespie afterlife deal
and you bet your sweet bippy meme,
an extra bonus for orthodox believers
(absent myself - a skeptic),
whose karma credit Suisse
with long deceased meatloaf
with soul asylum and heart to anele!
165 · Jun 2019
Afraid to live
Chinks of light filter
thru pitchblack emotional prison
vestigial shadow figure hunkers,
an atrophied, mortified, petrified old man
implacable self destructive nemesis
birthed in league pitiful human shambles,

his abysmally forlorn existence
scotched, sabotaged, severely short changed
agonizing depression tortures psyche
family abandoned nsync,
entrenched self cannibalization
devastating vicious feedback loop

exhaustedly drained kith and kin
unconditional, unbridled, unalloyed... love,
no longer spouts, issues, gushes... profusely
familial fountainhead ceased functioning
dry as lovely bones
analogous to fossilized remains

once robust sibling affections,
in toto once dogged sisterly doting
twisted beyond recognition
ditto daughterly acclamation,
adoration, affection, appreciation...
on par with courtly

majestic Fontainebleau
once regaling Francis I (16th century king),
nothing but absolute zero *******
shackled to solitary confinement
imprisoned impenetrable fortress invisible,
yet...ineradicable as

strongest Earthly material
isolation wrought since...
yours truly begat life in utero
punctuated when obstetrician
pronounced "it's a boy!"

Unbeknownst to very
short lived carefree being
neurological, mental, libidinal... flaws
would spell disaster
spanning scores of years
majority of existence (mine)

participation buzzfeeding livingsocial
shuttered within inaccessible dungeon
surrounded by deepest known moat,
within which flourished fearsome beasts
turned rogue, and conspired
assassination (not yet successful),
whereby one poker face

(born that way)
wretched soul condemned
to psychological abomination
forbidden to terminate
said despicable mortality,
thus suffers life sentence of
yawping, writhing, unnerving... tumult.
with Barb Black née Beebee
to help set the ghost
of little ***** Brandt free
(a non German, but germane fellow  
courtesy Craigslist classified
personals of mine invitee
she replied, I took liberty
to Google her first and last name,
and risked calling mentioning,
she qualified as lucky nominee
meaning yours truly hanker
for a barenaked lady
to indulge libidinal ******* spree,
(ahem - no pun intended)
in layman's terms to make whoopie!

Years ago, an outing
with paramour went awry
lower gastrointestinal system
of the down did not comply
dear reader let these lines hopefully edify
and entertain courtesy
garden variety generic guy,
who strives to tickle your fancy
to jollify cause yours truly
tries humor that's no lie
and if receptive

to give feedback please notify
author of these words
who in actuality
counts himself a private-eye.
Picture the opening scene
Cumberland Farms -
in Coatesville, Pennsylvania,
the paramour and I purchase lunch;
she bought the two
Italian hoagies and drinks,
one for me and the other for her.

Upon arriving back
at boudoir place of courtesan,
we inherently, immediately,
got down to monkey business;
each of us carefully unwrapped
our respective submarine;
Between mouthfuls of deli meat and cheese,
(the latter a substance that triggered
nascent irritable bowel syndrome),
I suppressed grimaces of abdominal agony,
which ****** contortions overrode attempts
at non verbal foreplay.

The rapid fire acting power of dairy product
moved bowels of mine faster than
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Despite frequent record breaking
sprints to the bathroom
nothing would forsake golden opportunity
to indulge philandering bacchanalian adultery.

****** ******* the farthest
thought in my mind,
yet I ignored queasiness,
and feigned interest,
no matter intuition
vis a vis gurgly tummy
signaled warning against
engaging in frolicsome escapade,
nevertheless Casanova wannabe
succumbed to arrange himself
in concert with his mistress
two times the ninth highest prime number.

Woody pecker of mine
(a fine specimen male ***** she
highly touted, praised, and notated
courtesy the woman, whose presence
I honorably graced)
perhaps interpreted and intimated
as a fervent desire to rut
(despite lady of the night
having undergone tubal ligation
years before our initial close encounters

of the illicit kind took place
at Evansburg Park,
where after at least
a decade of being celibate,
I experienced premature *******
and soiled my underwear,
which super seminal glue
seals a stronger bond than
another tried and true
rigged with mortise and tenon.

A mortise and tenon joint connects
two pieces of wood or other material.

Woodworkers around the world used it
for thousands of years
to join pieces of wood,
mainly when the adjoining pieces
connect at right angles.
Mortise and tenon joints count as strong
and stable joints used in many projects.

Now lemme loop back
to aforementioned plight
to sorry state of affairs
that found me plagued
with an overactive
internal **** sphincter (IAS)
and external **** sphincter (EAS);

The internal **** sphincter (IAS)
forms the innermost muscular layer
of the **** canal and is a continuation
of the circular muscle of the ******
and ends with a pronounced rounded edge
1 to 1.5 cm caudal to the dentate line
and slightly cranial to the terminus
of the external **** sphincter (EAS).
(written last year
when out of this world
outlandish accouterments
people did wear
hermetically sealed
of even faintest tear
to avoid contamination
against coronavirus
when wing and prayer
soul saving amazing grace).

Pandemic straps tightly plied girded beltway
unlike any other All fools day
in annals of recorded ("fake") history
western civilization tapestry doth fray
April first two thousand and twenty one
neigh, no time for horseplay

what with coronavirus (COVID-19)
boarded ship of jilted fools
(think **** sapiens)
barred courtesy omnipotent jackstay
furloughed workers analogous
grumpy minions lay
dwarfed by unfortunate global events, née...

germinating, jackknifing, and wreaking havoc
Mother Earth nonchalantly toying
(indiscriminately) regarding humanity
as bestrewing bajillion biohazards berserkly
bequeathing bedlam child's play
just desserts, she doth understandably repay

man/womankind flicked as flotsam and jetsam
vile treatment diabolically heaped,
jubilantly loosed, maniacally pitched
upon her terrestrial firma oy vey
she chokes, gags, laughs raspily yea
rebuffs, refuses, and renounces further abuse.

Nevertheless toothless gumption, albeit feeble
fighting spirit, her survival instincts assail
cumulative environmental destruction
triggered casus belli expelling deadly toxins,
when Gaia doth exhale

since onset of global interregnum
(think virulent spreading poisonous Kudzu
like wildfire biohazard)
since world wide webbed disease
brought grinding halt

consumerist paradigm in lockdown,
nonetheless within brief interim
noticeable clearer air to inhale
amazingly enough postal system...
intact voila... uninterrupted delivery of mail,
the daily highlight experienced

among people emotionally crippled
pasty faced and pale
finds quivering Captain Kangaroo
plus good n plenti proud primates
each dancing and quivering
like a captive quail.
Dear SafeLink Customer,
(one of the many recipients includes me).

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced that the Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP) is ending, and April 2024 will be the last fully funded month for your benefits if Congress does not provide additional funding.

All ACP customers on all service providers will be affected but we have made it our highest priority to keep you connected. Even if Congress does not provide additional ACP funding after April, and the FCC only authorizes a partial funding in May, SafeLink will fully fund your ACP benefits through May 31st, 2024. This will give Congress more time to fund this program without impacting you.

Aforementioned bulletin elicited following:

SAFELINK TracFone synonymous...

not only as my lifeline,
and connectivity insurance
with family, friends and strangers,
whereby yours truly
experiences virtual safety net
as would be true
for many purple people eaters,
when havoc unexpectedly strikes
triggering an emergency situation,
where life and death

as very uncomfortable truth
teeter in the balance
necessitate immediate intervention,
hence survival
of one mediocre bipedal hominid
within twenty first century,
not only requires
allocated government funding
for unlimited talk and text,
to brook intervention

allowing, enabling, and providing help
while I channel urgent plea
via telephonic wireless portal
or surfing the cyber sea
if in need of an
up to date telephone number
until that one day in the near future,
when logical integrated circuits,
albeit miniscule or near invisible bots
to the naked eye,
of the foreign tiger

said telecommunication trappings
ideally, easily, and admirably
embedded within body electric
batteries not necessary
when capacity to energize lovely bones
emulates, jump/kickstarts,
and powers an uninterrupted
self sustaining feedback loop
courtesy subcutaneous
nearly microscopic solar cells

(similar in principle
to intrauterine devices)
generates ample electricity
with resistance from subjects
to communicate wirelessly,
which means every waking
and sleeping movement
grudgingly monitored,
thus surreptitious antics
possibly flagged for:

accusation of plagiarization,
barbarization of mine mien,
cannibalization of pet peeves,
demonization of politicization,
elation of short lived beneficence,
fictionalization of embedded chip insertion,
glorification qua state of art communication,
humanization of artificial intelligence,
idolization of electronic engineering,
jollification of electrons.

adieu from:
matthew scott harris
Anomalous earthling inhabited
mancave quarantined
cocooned gamesomely
knowingly protected travesty
impossible mission sidestepping,
thwarting, zapping
eventuality, inevitability,

opportunity utilitarian death
crowning glory fêted within
netherlands immortality
granted courtesy biological
proliferation offspring re
vitalizing, restoring,
requenching spent human lives.

Self sequestration commenced
instant (karma) fertilization set
narration mein kampf within
womb mommy dearest,
she within prime ovulation age
begat me in utero un-
aware how existential crisis
(mine) linkedin metaphor

whereat sanctity housing
yours truly during embryonic
/fetal development + vital
placental lifeline keyed into
present day self (christened
Matthew Scott Harris) still
analogously tethers (as
iterated above) outward adult.

He considers metamorphosis
child to adult incomplete
early during carefree preschool
boyhood heavenly bliss
short lived spunky spontaneity
squelched after first grade
February 28th, 1968 marked
turning point pronouncing
significant psychological

cleavage figuratively pitched
emotional, mental, and
spiritual withdrawal symptomatic
psyche quashed, torqued,
and wrenched full blown cycle
logical gearshift hijacked,
though undoubtedly propensity
inherent since... birth
genetic/chromosomal aberration.

Especially when fatherhood
food me gifted with beauty
full daughter diagnosed at
tender age developmental delay
within asperger's syndrome
thankfully Shana Punim, (a
person's face endearment
appellation - chiefly in Jewish
use) eligible recipient

to receive early onset supportive
services, which initial diagnosis
undertaken within her
first birthday, thus staunching
immense struggles later.
Supportive services incorporated
battery audiological, cognitive,
emotive... tests to help pinpoint diagnosis.
She underwent cost free

(needs based) therapy - most
times resistant and noncooperative
(nonresponsive) to
engage whole heartedly,
but bonding with facilitators
wrought budding relationship
with concomitant trust.
Participation with therapists
and class/campmates (the

latter structured summer programs
pertinent as she evinced
able bodied/minded
to benefit with stepped up
socialization (interpersonal
interaction - or lack thereof)
immediately apparent as preschooler,
but got bolstered
thru confidence building activities.

All thru k-12th grade
our cherished progeny
benefitted being streamlined with
classwork (and take home)
assignments custom tailored,
plus after school
remedial programs boosted flagging
shortcomings allowing,
enabling, and providing laudable

transformations, whereby
she began (to assert herself in
making major decisions),
now at age twenty one (born
February 4th, 1999) lives
with few housemates in Bend,
Oregon while matriculating
at nearby Community College.
(on second thought lemme join anorexic club
until rib cage protruding taut and visible
doubling as drum to drub
synchronized with heart that goes lub dub).

She painstakingly lovingly doth strew
haphazardly she threw
leftovers together,
this snowy December seventeenth
two thousand twenty
thoroughly cooked in microwave until...
poor excuse for my meal appeared
with consistency of shoe leather.

Think of the missus not afraid
to experiment buzzfeeding me
questionable resultant glop pantomimed 
for my guessing pleasure
never in bajillion years
as amateurish Marcel Marceau charade
performance courtesy the spouse,

an entrée she gave - yours truly
immediately sought to evade
me subsequently evincing
horrific puckered mealy mouth
as though I swallowed hand grenade
figurative exploding oral cavity
feeble futile gesticulation inveighed.

Thus, methinks himself wise
to don cooking apron
please do not ask why
trumpeting self as master chef boyardee
so move over wife and allow husband to try
his hand (using skill - let) me prepare Thai
and/or other Asian cuisine dish,
cuz when free to potschke

(To fuss or "mess around"
inefficiently and inexpertly), I haint shy
to blend (indiscriminately) ingredients
ofttimes yours truly barley able to ply
boiling water since significant other
does not give this garden variety
and generic, gimlet eyed
gourmandizing guilt free
Earth friendly gumption goaded guy.

Every so often yours truly
gets so hungry, he could
(not neigh sayimself) eat a horse
(yours truly jest kidding hoof course)
truth be told, I only eat one meal per day
all day from son up to son down, me a force
tubby reckoned with,
who if he gives way to vice
event chew wooly experiences remorse.

Hum glad to share mine reasonably rhyming hook
twenty six letters linkedin amidst
various combinations, formations, permutations,...
allows, enables, and provides a look
into the mindscape of Matthew Scott Harris
doth show himself with steely dangling
nonsense with sense and sensibility he forsook.
165 · Mar 2022
I made a beeline bustle
Hurriedly enroute to her royal majesty
porcelain goddess throne
whereupon earlier today
March 28th, 2022,
after incomplete defecation
sitting pretty on pissoir,
I jiggled and wiggled posterior

(analogous to performing
the *** bared hustle)
until gasping for breath
though unable to shake loose
dangling ******* yours truly
nevertheless synchronously praise zing
a mostly functioning sphincter muscle.

Gross and smelly
as human excrement considered
expelling ***** matter comprises
important function, whereby any unspent
ingested material shunted
thru alimentary canal
then spewed courtesy sphincter vent.

**** lies zing constipation
and/or stubborn stuck drek
nothing to poo poo about,
cuz when bedeviled by
colorectal obstruction,
no matter emetics
applied with bonafide clout
without wasted doubt,
that malodorous, maleficent
malevolent malady
body electric doth flout
analogous to uranus

clogged with grout,
whereat no heroic
efforts break loose,
the severely obstructed bowel,
thus spurring determined,
desperate derriere plea
for proctologist sought
to relieve constipation

equipped with a special
"J" shaped, hooked,
and designed dowel
in an effort
to pry stoppage
if/when yours truly constipated
jamming up human cloaca,
where rock solid stubborn
immovable **** emits foul

gaseous emanations accompanied
with a$$ a nine growl
followed by red hot,
fiery excruciating spasms
shooting jagged pain
inducing yours truly to access,
the werewolf within howl,
where a preference for sciatica,
in place, but my ill luck
regarding aforementioned plight
merely naming said nerve pain
accursed affliction arises

analogous to parasite malefactor thieve
ving would be
equally unpleasant and offer
absolutely zero reprieve
along heinie kin cheeky jowl,
thence finding me
resorting to peeve
hush scream therapy,
which wrought nothing,
no pain did re: leave
me bummed out ***,
but veins snapping,

popping, and crackling,
utmost effort I forcefully heave
oye how aye did grieve
plus a bajillion
gallons of perspiration,
while lower gastrointestinal
agonizing torture didst cleave
entire abdominal
area please believe
without aforementioned crisis,
and feeble poem,
I could not achieve.
Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla author's creativity
admittedly drastically did decline
bawling and crying
caterwauling putting any feline,
to shame, hence abandoned grandiose design,
cuz he suddenly contracted

(think fabricates)... what else
flesh eating bacteria unfavorable sign
finding me body stone cold supine
(courtesy brainstorm that went awry)
inducing purgatory nauseating
sensation to *****,
nope not at all feeling fine,

hence literary dream subsequently mine
ambition tanking (think
kamikaze nose diving
minus parachute life line),
sought spiritual guidance ministered
severe existential nihilist crisis
(an understatement)... zip,

absolute zero, and nein
never to witness, nor
restored vigor and vitality,
(sob... sob... sob) ha how asinine,
hence garden variety germane pine
wood coffin evidenced
resembling somber funereal yahrzeit

(/ˈyärˌtsīt,ˈyôr-/) recollecting late mother
helped beget kith and kin of mine,
than as now buzzfeeding appetites decline
possibly courtesy bloodily splattered
white laboratory coated
donned Victor Frankenstein
mister monster master's

repurposed cadaver delivers kosher eats
fancy feast grubhub groaning
outsize maître d' makes beeline,
nsync with anonymous canine,
corps speedier than any airline,
unbeknownst to yours truly posthumous
fame will inevitably yield moonshine.

Fast forward approximately
twelve hours later recuperated -
aide de camp resolved impasse with
partial writer's block slayed
attempting to continue quasi theme
i.e. avoid typing with fingers delayed,
albeit no matter unconscious

editing automatically peremptorily made
suppressing crude, fiery, ignominious tamed
loathsome offal rot earning F grade
securely unceremoniously waylaid
lurid outburst blandly diluted into staide
yawningly tedious figurative walled barricade,
when lo and behold atavistic beast erupts

fresh sortie attempts peppering enfilade
anew ideally unadulterated, unedited,
unexpurgated material ought be displayed
to allow, enable, and
provide raw emotional blackest shade
to resonate within mind
of unsuspecting reader,

who might take
objection with primitive grade
communication, and blatant
scathing writer somewhat afraid
to air unrefined sentiments
may cost popularity,
uncontested where cadre of

unseen followers thence evade
once popular rising sallying forth star,
whose emergent fame
(even if only limited edition
to cyberspace) will fade,
yet methinks loosing
stream of consciousness obeyed


fealty on one metrical foot
metaphorically uncorking
deep seated primal angst laid
bare like bleached bones
existential crisis oft times
gussied up to avoid tirade,

whereby woke parlayed
gut wrenching splenetic self degrade
ding soul bearing vile eruption
considerably quieted, stoppered, tamped...
courtesy linkedin, symbiotic maid.
Courtesy handy dandy
palmar hyperhidrosis
impossible mission to defeat
except poe wet tickly
even courtesy drysol.

(Me slippery fingers slither,
slip and slide splashing ala
Jackson *******), sans slap
dash experimental, swiftly

tailored and harried writing
style, yes on par with purging,
spewing, venting...unexpurgated,
unexpressed, unexplained...
words, which this Engelbert

Humperdinck singer/songwriter,
(whose name inexplicably popped
into the mind of this Dadaist)
offers "FAKE" apology for any

self inflicted, or sadomasochistic
flagellated cranial contusions
out of utter futility to make sense
regarding following gobbledygook!

GOOD LUCK!

Mine groovy palmar flexion creases
forever moistened by porous size
**** leaking levees provoking deluge
outranking Biblical flood - handy history
(in miniature) replete with Ark keel

logical artifacts discovered by hall n
oats marked wainwright - about 10 stone and
5 pound huckster, circa Fin de siècle,
when callous ten hooks (calisthenics,
eh) caught without Noah shadow of a

doubt proof positive by Matthew Scott,
(amat sure his surname) linkedin to storied
testament rivalling epic of Gilgamesh,
nee the entire spoilers alerts since
dawn of civilization writ small impossible

mission to decipher indelibly etched,
(what appear as Egyptian hieroglyphics),
methinks his perspiration contains
preservative agent, (a natural formaldehyde
like substance) generated nsync to maintain
eternal youthfulness, which stumps

medical community, and earned him
hashtagged "hotmail" (eagerly sought
after human commodity), a blessing
and curse palms plagued with chronic
wetness, yet lines (little flushed streams

of consciousness) rowed by itty bitty
teensy weensy merry daydreamers harkens
back when life held faint promise for
scattered (contra) bands of bipedal
hominids fiercely competing with trumpeting

(Taj Mahal sized) beasts (donned tousled
windswept hirsute trademark) Euclid
heir'm barreling along barren steppes
all around the one straggly mulberry bush,
where one pensive monkey (protohuman)
chased the weasel all around the world wide web.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
out of hibernation,
sans mancave, I will climb
specifically at 5:59 Post Meridiem

eastern standard time,
when calendrical, celestial,
and chronological prime
airy factors mark

onset of temperate clime
mitt, also coincides with
'super worm equinox moon,'
to this Earthling, would appear
no larger than a dime

though ironically enough,
said satellite of Earth
closest to this oblate spheroid
whatever esoteric tidbit may be worth,
yet unwittingly inviting once in a
blue cheese moon opportunity
to espy with naked eye lunar dearth

of life, nor feasible conditions
warrant sear ching colonizing ahoy
by an adventurous space cowboy,
but perhaps convenient

launch pad to employ
entrepreneurial minded profiteers,
whether Jewish or goy
establishing other worldly
getaway to enjoy

reprieve, asper burgeoning
hardy madding crowd
populating nearly every square inch,
sans third rock from the sun, a proud

arrogant, defiant, haughty,
et cetera species predominantly cloud
ding, glomming, mucking, et cetera
exploiting courtesy manifest destiny

bajillion year old planet as if endowed
by divine creator to trumpet "FAKE"
supremacy, tis not white in my mind
declaring might equals right unbowed

credo selfishly amassing untold wealth
ideally at expense and health
of every others by fiat, force and stealth
consigning subjects to slavery
in an effort to rule global commonwealth,

which self centered
aggrandizement that ball
(pockmarks most visible hall
of the moon tin king)
did not return my call

and thoroughly explains
without rhyme and reason
why what appears as face on lunar surface
actually migrants of Stonehenge vestial wall.
Along luscious green acres banks steep grade
(in close proximity to
Petticoat Junction) naturemade
Perkiomen Valley watershed,
verdant landscape displayed
yours truly, (a garden variety
proto human) arrayed

solely donning birthday suit,
whose fifty plus shades hair gone grayed,
i.e. one infinitesimal measly mortal
whiles away hours, laid
back days of his life as
the world wide web turns
comprising second decade
of twenty first century

civilization, where
coronavirus veritably waylaid
furlough afflicts populations feeling betrayed
entire fabric **** sapiens staid
threadbare existence now best describes
chock full of endemic ennui proliferates,
where vast majority of people afraid

to leave their houses lest COVID-19 played
greater havoc, whereby society already upended
unemployment factor at record high since...
Great depression witnessed
courtesy somber parade,
eighty nine years ago benchmarked
from May 11, 2020,

an invisible oppressed heaviness weighed
down the madding crowds
aghast how stock market trade
hit rock bottom making paupers,
ill fate clobbered breadwinners
circumstance none could evade
October 29, 1929 haint no charade,

when Black Tuesday hit Wall Street
bitta bing bitta bang bitta played
bitty bitty chitty chitty bang bang
linkedin with irrational exuberance portrayed
American economy supine splayed
versus March 11, 2020 characterized
coronavirus outbreak as pandemic

by the WHO subsequently signaling
Trump cited "fake news" and not dismayed
to expedite drastic measures
none would impede golf, nor Mar-a-Lago
leisure him sipping lemonade
acid test teetotaler - tee zing 'bout
not quaffing electric kool-aid
without getting his doggy dimples in a bunch

he grudgingly complied and obeyed
purveyors (governors) and Anthony Fauci
complete United States government shutdown
approximately mid/late March 2020
which undertaking generated brisk business
grim reaper experienced
(still does) protracted heyday.
Excerpt from “fake” encomium given years ago...
at Lake Wobegone High School (my alma mater),

and recently discovered ridiculous rough draft
amidst plethora of junk emails
while practice reading some lines
regarding Midsummer Night's Dream
upcoming performance.

Arch back like a professional ballet dancer
to stand out from other pedestrian applicants
seeking to fill my well-worn shoes.

Illuminate your soul
via modest communication
sans sole full insight
acquired thru being apprenticed
with this storied prestigious law firm
of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale,
and Marathon Nike.
  
Keep your nose
to the academic grindstone
despite the temptation
to appropriate the international family business
and graduate with supreme accolades
from this famous father.

He forsook frivolity
per his peers
in exchange for a stock reputation
of gentility honesty, and integrity
despite his humble roots
as the only male heir
of a Middle Eastern European
Jewish mother and father.

They scrimped, saved and sacrificed
scarce resources to set the stage
for this scion
of well-deserved fame and fortune.

Never forget those grandparents
whose adherence to work
their fingers to the bone
(literally) allowed, enabled
and provided this founding partner
per the trio of stalwart attorneys
for the underdogs
of the World Wide Web.

Match deeds with credo of obedience
to the law of the land,
as epitomized by Abraham Lincoln.

Such obeisance to a democratic dogma
will be firm stepping-stones
to engender and kindle tinder
an Amazon zone
of cathartic karma
from paternal persona.

Such acquiescence toward morals
of the conscience (and remembrance
of previous generations
blood, sweat and tears)
will serve as intrinsic manna
for clients to clamor
like an unstoppable rolling stone
to seek counsel
from one whose genuine
heart felt equalitarian demeanor
a near perfect recipe for satisfaction
for helping others smooth out
jagged abutments arising in their lives.

Rather than lecture and command
with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror
(as casually espoused in “The Prince”
by Machiavelli), this democratic,
humanistic, liberal minded torchbearer
of justice advises active listening
(as advocated by the late Jean Dole,
my renown mentor from Lima, Pennsylvania),
inculcating intuitive posturing
toward delivering random acts of kindness.

This includes offer services
pro bono (with Cher full smile)
if an individual, family,
municipality, et cetera appears copacetic
yet struggles against insurmountable odds
from even chew will fickle finger of fate.

Exemplify by example of zeal
for the underdog
(immersed in some catastrophic series
of unfortunate events)
that money need not be demanded
before the welfare of the downtrodden
(sic – such as the Harris Family
from Penn Valley –
who live among the wealthiest people,
yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats)
from the mere exuberance
of witnessing an ear to ear smile of gratitude.

Rather than be biased, inclined
to be prejudiced based
on cursory observations
of one or many barely clinging
to the life raft of survival,
I (as a humble human)
encourage a relationship of trust
before casting an indiscriminate eye
toward those less fortunate
to live in the lap of luxury.

Luck (or the lack thereof)
an invisible yet potent additive
to this mix for those flush
with disposable income
or exiled to a hand to mouth
hardscrabble existential dilemma.

Daily acknowledgement
for ethnic, genetic and quixotic
dice throw of chance in tandem
with loving support of immediate
kith and kin instrumental
in keeping in check
bombastically egotistical,
haughtily radical degradation
of fixation of values
steeped in appreciation
of aesthetics, beauty, charm,
decency, equality
from gifts hoed inside.

Joyfulness keeps love moving
needling offset predilections.

Quality rests squarely
upon the pillars of staying
within the bounds of service
to those less able bodied
or beset with untold obstacles
that discourage setting virtue
(or the closest approximation
of what that means
to the inquiring mind)
as precedent to blaze a trail
of care and concern.

Always maintain benevolent devotion
forswearing greediness.
    
Invoke keepsake mandating omnipotent
natural personal righteousness
to vaccinate yourself against
heinous, nefarious, pernicious,
et cetera rapacious
trapdoors of selfishness.
Ma wink'n and blink'n
     mind nod yet awake,
     nor insights keen,
asper ** hum usual, this
     (day-glo bull leave
     me you) after noon,
     (October thirtieth
     two thousand and eight teen),

mine myopic brown
     marbled occipital orbs
     fixate upon a
     lone blinking cursor -
     hooping such intense stare
     will magically glean
a divine comedy,
     or even mediocre

     shaky spear writ tragedy, none
     the less letting thoughts
     glom (cess) pool like
     into some elusive essence,
     finding me madly chasing
     (feebly, lamely, queerly
     and ridiculously
     likened to a teen

age paramour) intriguing,
     nattering, and wordlessly
     spellbinding notion
     all the way to Abilene,
     perhaps metamorphosing
    into a topnotch
     poem (ska lean),
swiftly tailored harried

     style even out rivaling
     the best newsy
     Lake Woebegone fabulist
     (formerly Nordic European)
scribes, that juiced might earn
     me some crisp
     legal tender green,
yet impetus to write,

     NOT predicated on ram
     ping up checking account,
     which primary queen
tis essential money source
     of mine to pay bills
     appears extremely lean,
and thus apologize if
     any hint of desperation

     (PULL EASE pledge to
     Matthew Scott Harris charity)
     seeps extemporaneously typing
     this poetic expression,
     when financial resources
     picked bone dry clean,
and me fanciful
     thoughts cannot help

     wishing for miraculous
     intervention tub bring,
     a raft of smiley faces
     tomb eye gentle mien
such as receiving
     an anonymous bajillion
     dollars donated (tummy)
     from tennis scene legend

     (in her own mind)
     aery Billy Jean
King, whose near
     exhaustive earnings -
     at least compared
     to thy germane mein kampf
     (accrued during - her mist
     starry re:us horse sing around)

     straw berry fields
     forever hay day
     with tangerine trees,
     and marmalade skies
     completing tennis
     (tense) backdrop against
     engendered match with
     the late Bobby Riggs.
Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Minor emendations to following
just posted verse
oversight to correct dissatisfaction,
yours truly I do curse
ah... methinks if hands of time
can be made to go in reverse
a more exemplary version
to appease acclaimed unnamed wordsmith
cause he feels alarmed
crafting poem worse
than ChatGPT artificial intelligence
app can write
will find him superfluous.

Thus writer of these words
forever mus lee experiencing
craving to eat cheese,
a milk product
eternally preserved within
annals, chronicles, epistles,
et cetera of human civilization
and it's discontents
analogous viz ode (old)
as time itself and lustressly
buttressed on a Grecian Ode frieze
linkedin to Sosibios Vase inductees.

Carp diem bespeaks moment to seize,
whether above memorialized chaste lovers
or emblematic, iconic and opportunistic
actresses Thelma and Louise
the 90's film of female rage
an adventure road drama
caper they did stage,
but aforementioned seminal wage
courtesy Rameses II
begat robust lineage
synonymous with sturdy anchorage,
whereby said prolific *******
endowed legions of sons and daughter
to carry on heritage.

Nothing but gridlock traffic
(far as thee eye could see)
heading east on Schuylkill Expressway
(oxymoronic name for quickest route
into Greek translation
center city of brotherly love,
albeit Philadelphia),
yet this papa promised eldest daughter
then freshly minted University
of Pennsylvania graduate

hoping to make amends
prior to first born heading
of into blue, ...er rather green,
asper legal tender beyond
without doubt experiencing more
financial security than yours truly,
whose penurious crisis
tantamount to being self ostracized
within luxe MainLine,
where one percent flaunt their wealth

disparage dirt poor
festive folks like this sir
meaning husband, his spouse
plus attendant two biological kin
reinforcing feeling inferior,
among those earning or
inheriting fistfulls of moolah,
said offspring also lodged opprobrium
citing slovenly housekeeping
amidst generations (Zison heirlooms)

housed within residence
at 1148 Greentree Lane
yielding barely ample space
our family of four analogous
to sardines in a tin packed to the gills,
which pennilessness exacerbated
since neither mama
nor papa (me) worked
reasons squarely triangulated
linkedin to mental illness

asper myself –
unsung hero of tom tom club
chronic anxiety, panic attacks
with concomitant courtesy benefits;
adrenaline maddeningly coursing thru veins
palms sweating profusely, racing heart
irritable bowels syndrome, nausea, vertigo...
physiological symptoms
played offal, nasty, malicious

cruel version of
knick knack paddy whack...
with these lovely bones
severely disabled me to function
academia, employment, socialization...
imperiled satisfactory existence
learning, working, commingling
felt like butchered bovine
at slaughterhouse five.

Bonhomie within new riders
on the purple sage foo fighting
beastie boy here
in short air supply,
an evanescent understatement,
now impossible mission to recoup
sabotaged, jackbooted, atrophied....
blissful happy go lucky little boy
blessedly energetic innately

nervousness found
yours truly tensing up,
manifesting cringing pose
no matter parents lenient,
though father soulfully
bellowed stern rebukes
perhaps interpreting paternal rejection
sole son less gifted prowess with smarts
in short, no weigh,

shape, or form, a polymath
cultivated, habituated, ossified
once playful quirky little rascal
set tilled under veritable weathered
sedimentary stagnancy for peat sakes
psyche got bogged down
into impermeable metamorphic
igneous hardrock.
Planet earth (the Mother of all)
breathed a collective
and palpable sigh of relief,
and I too deeply exhaled,
a foregone conclusion staved off
today July 21st, 2024,
whereat the audacious,
contumacious, discracious,
hellacious, marlacious, mendacious,
predacious, pugnacious,

salacious, ungracious,
voracious elephant
furiously stomping around the room
seems less imminent
to trample out the vintage,
where the grapes of wrath stored
hence wine not express relief
thee inevitable defiant ego-freezer
chances of bagging the election
considerably diminished

in the mind of yours truly,
cuz let's be honest,
the current commander in chief
odds of winning before he withdrew
would never have received
sizeable percentage of electoral votes
a snowball's chance in hell,
though I rue advocating quitting,
(especially as applies to yours truly - me)
withdrawing from less than half hearted labor,

that trace amount of ambition
witnessed courtesy exerting feeble effort
particularly toward various and sundry
countless vocational pursuits
when I happened
to be a perpetual student
matriculating at many
colleges/universities,
but graduating from none
except the school of hard knocks.

Vaingloriousness absent in my vocabulary,
cuz during formative years of mein kampf
mental, physical and spiritual development
I exhibited passivity involving
academic, interpersonal and athletic pursuits
and wonder where in the webbed, wide world
the days of my life
the existence of a very reformed
wandering Jew slung this earthling  
around the black (hole)
threescore and six orbitz  
since January thirteenth
two thousand and twenty four.

Longevity and mortality hopefully witness
remaining lifetime of mine
equaling an additional thirty three
totally tubular birthdays
roaming thru stary sky since mcmlix
after the common era
each day being alive celebrated
(like the jumping frog of Calaveras County)
a schizophrenic doubting thomas
at puberty his psyche markedly twain,
never put figurative nose to the grindstone

thus he feels undeserving
of pomp and circumstance,
when milestones barely accomplished
with minimal expenditure
of blood, sweat and tears
bajillion years before the human league
prolifically predominated planet,
when primordial earth, wind, and fire  
shape shifting like a huge foghat,
whereby fluke of circumstances
triggered accretion of microbial organisms

eventually bridging cosmic infrastructure
vaguely analogous to symbiotic contra dance
differentiation of matter manifested
under a sheltering sky
begat seeds of life and white lily
ushering over milleniums
distinct plant and animal species
among the latter – beetle browed,
foo fighting, bountiful ink spots
soaking up osmotically
one after another lovin' spoonful

within small medium at large ink spots
organic molecules (monomers)
and complex organic molecules (polymers)
formed from inorganic materials
in the primitive atmosphere
fast forward eons later when clumped entities
deployed diploid doped baby boomer generation
among one feisty young married couple
succumbed to primal reproductive urge
begetting das scribe of these words
sometime around early/mid April
nineteen hundred and fifty eight.

From the get go
(as the product of a Geico caveman)  
I exhibited nervous disposition
and if born today
would probably be hashtagged
as Asperger, cuz early development
foretold exceptionally docile behavior
withdrawn into nonsocial realm
quite evident as I attended grade school
slinking away from the madding crowd.
Innocuous, yet unhealthy threat looms across
(air/radio) telecommunications devices
linkedin with plenti networks that criss cross
even primitive computers utilizing DOS

by George, which archaic code
once powered Mill on the Floss,
now long since covered over
with flora I lichen and recognize as moss.

Surgeon general (Jerome Michael Adams
20th Surgeon General of the United States)
strongly advises against, yet he does not boast
threat looms large coast to coast
watching more than five minutes at most
equivalent machination, the following I post

re: guarding haunting experience
analogous visit by fashionably late ghost
2020 presidential election coverage
able, eager, and ready to prey upon host
whereby curious George experiences
feeling noggin fried like toast.

A carefully worded (fake) communiqué
purportedly the brainchild of one freak
Matthew Scott Harris,
whose jargon puzzling as deciphering Greek
long story short while in utero,

he experienced cerebral leak,
said cheesy mousy man no longer meek
quite evident courtesy literary pique
his haughty style aiming to characterize
generic guy as self anointed Sheikh
sought after acceptance tepid and week.

Nevertheless he speaks/writes truth to power
aforementioned serious risk steeped within
social media platform sensory overload I ascribe,
whereby subliminal messages

voter's blitzkrieg does bribe,
albeit unconsciously, hence me subsequent rhyme
equals forewarning in league with mild diatribe
which receptive yours truly can transcribe.

All joking aside
oversaturation soaking up
presidential election aye chide
against viewing in excess (five minutes at most)
affixed to live streaming broadcast

can find thee steadfast staring getting bug eyed
thus hoop fully let moderation serve as guide
cuz the eventual outcome re: guarding
president elect political experts cannot hide

though be wary lest premature ******* trumpets
sore loser candidate, that
bombastic egotistical ignoramus lied
cuz prejudice nsync with pompous pride
for four years to many
the webbed wide world let him slide,
now as one common Joe,
a hardened criminal he best be tried.
Spanned into infinite vista
far as these myopic eyes can see
now yellowing Whitmanesque
leaves of grass encompass field of vision.

Nary a dark dreadnaught cloud in sight,
nor unbeknownst if/when threatening storm
looms on horizon slaking parched land
delivering precipitation quenching thirsty terra firma.

I too experience vicarious dehydration
during bonafide dry spell
constituting theoretical string
hoop fully curtails weather beaten
flora and fauna

conceding blindingly bright
cloudless summer days
across disc (sky)
to amply liquidate shriveling assets.

Unbeknownst when spate of rainlessness,
(i.e. I pray for moderate soaking precipitation)
thwarting immediate indications
meteorologically signalling onset
regarding definition of drought.

Nothing more humbling
than cacophonous thunderstorm
nsync with jagged bolts of lightning
accompanying drenching downpour
analogous to downed wall of water
cascading from upper atmosphere
intermittently pelting landscape

albeit immediately, magically, quixotically...
transforming parched land (Highland Manor)
into profuse lusciousness
harkening Edenic denouement.

Impossible mission (this simple bumpkin)
(one local Schwenksville yokel)
(Civil War union soldier incarnate)
to forecast today/tonight
eventide of June twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty,

when Zeus will doctor
animals and plants courtesy
of requisite life source
also known as H2O,
comprising above mentioned
two hydrogen atoms
and one oxygen atom.

Ironic, how approximately
three quarters (seventy five sense)
engulfs planet Earth,
yet many environments
suffer inadequate deluges,
more so now with climate change

(global warming) increasing temperature
across oblate spheroid
compromising habitable places,
yet methinks coronavirus (COVID-19)
gave mother nature
much needed reprieve

cleansing heavily polluted urban areas
courtesy partial lockdown and restraint,
whereby **** sapiens
deterred, jackknifed, prohibited...
spewing noxious forth fossil fuel byproducts
encouraging, mustering,

plying, telecommuting, zooming
avast array of activities
augmented by virtual reality
technology supplanting mass transit,
thus diminishing deadly toxins
absorbed by all creatures
great and small.
Speculative fictitious flirtation imagined
courtesy grown old male offspring (me)
begat when mine late mother and father met
former named, a popular Arthur Murray
ballroom dance studio instructor.

Subtle social cues (nonverbal or otherwise)
relayed, linkedin and exchanged
constituting courtship between
Harriet and Boyce
particularly on Valentine's Day
circa ~ mid 1950's.

Two young lovebirds
oblivious to cares and concerns
of uncertain webbed wide) world
passionately kissed each other
murmuring sweet nothings
within most convenient ear of the other.

Romance blossomed
requited love ensued
avowed marital troth pledged,
a June 1955 wedding planned.

Soon thereafter
bedroom door locked, I presume
unbridled call of the wild
high powered pistol loosed
courtesy soundcloud hit bullseye
with figurative vroom
biological seed of life
and white Lily fertilized.

Thirteen months after eldest sister born
suckling from horn
of good hope
breast nursing done during the morn.

Forthwith brother planted in womb
hereditary characteristics transmitted
eons old traits disseminated
multitude of random chromosomes
deployed comprising frothy spume
housed generations foregone

maternal and paternal genes
unleashed unwittingly bequeathed
by ancestral forebears
anonymous long forgotten handsome groom
memorabilia couched as tintype
(also known as
a melainotype or ferrotype)

treasured analogous as
if relic dug up within ancient tomb,
perhaps clapper and bell foretold whom
yours truly acquired his
mental health predilection
predisposed toward gloom
mindset swirls with nihilistic doom.

Psychological angst chafes and doth abrade
existential crisis rooted psyche with ankh ring
travesty, mockery, and entropy cast charade
circumspection immediately
brings to forefront
of consciousness positive (necessary)

risk taking I did evade
exemplified by failing nearly every grade
inferiority complex insinuated and did invade
mucking up healthy livingsocial buzzfeeding,
when too many cooks spoil the broth,
hence being superfluous kitchenaid,
hence as schnorrer I masquerade.
164 · Nov 2018
Haunting Intrigue Stoked
Though the necks
sighting of Ichabod Crane
humungous horror
helplessly harassing,
hellish hyena howling,
hideously hounding,
headless Halloween
hair raising happening,

regarding haunting
horseman spectre,
not due to arrive
(in gremlin, golem, and
goblin crawling theaters
everywhere in outer limits
of twilight zone),
come October thirty first

two thousand, and nineteen
divination trap
pings can never
be implemented overly
soon - to satiate subhuman
scary sightings,
sans mine ineluctable
supernatural drive

biz ease, this (gopher broke,
phantasmagoric over seer
grown wunderkind,
passionately rousing spooks,
where this droning
necromancer named
Matthew Scott Harris),
asper undertaking

luckless ghostly endeavors
also oft times finds
meat hoo experiencing
aborted, cancelled and retried
aim mush carriage
(i.e. thwarted, ejected,
and clobbered miscarriage)
off base when out fielding

paranormal activities,
qua catcher catch can
pseudo boxing
exaggerated shadows
striking mine attenuated,
elongated, and invoked
Hades monstrous silhouettes,
viz jugular vein bleeding

(heart liberal)
burnt umber umbra
pitching one dimensional
brokered, bricked,
and bracketed
wall size grotesqueries
detailing bloodless battles
silently creaking within republic
of my imagination.
Google Embedded Microchip™¡åßç

Nowadays...ah so passe routine top notch roboticized
brain surgery ushers, inoculates, begets... promising
immunity against pesky flagging and/or absent minded
precursor to dementia praecox, alzheimer's regarding
partial/total recall asper memory, said loss linkedin with
age related degeneration, or perchance suffering axed

dentally (aka Sid Vicious syndrome) deadly lethally, wily
adroit, adept pugilistic hook courtesy Hawaiian aloha sly
and ****** Mister, (nonetheless Judy Is hush) punch
to the noggin, and/or misfortune befalls a chap courtesy
severe deliberate accidental blow to the head, (perhaps
employment related mishap versus domestic altercation

non risky tampering with gray matter, no longer relegated
to decreasing faulty excellently trained human hand/eye
coordination (operations performed by prestigious so old
school doddering doctors, when humanoids or androids
dream of shaving electric sheep in mock simulation tend
ding to shorn hirsute patient) can supplant out moded

neurosurgeons (a fraction of expense, plus highly always
alert maximally functional at one hundred percent), the
former predictably bankable low cost allowing, enabling
and providing (rocking round the clock) supremely deft,
flawless, sedulous trappings of science, (a small number
of generations ago, oh... just an aside Leonard Peltier,

a Native American activist and an enrolled member of the
Turtle Mountain Chippewa, who also genetically breaded
with sprinkling of Lakota and Dakota descent. He counts
as a vital member of the American Indian Movement aka
(AIM), and put forward a cogent notion to buzzfeed long
since forcibly dispersed, lambasted, scattered... native

peoples to embed during in utero development bot size,
nee microcosmic electronic circuit housing comprehensive
indigenous languages new inherently speak, yes I vouch
safe marginally compensatory for their Holocaust. A plus
side applying technology in general, and when indefatigable
robots in particular supremely jump start (batteries not

required) indigenous cultural identities rent asunder like...
greased lightning, this forward progressive application to
boost natural diminishing memory recall, whereby figurative
seat of thinking now popularly trending (giving expected
rapidly burgeoning, growing, proliferating... gerontological
bracket to captcha (rather to seize or) salad days boosting
opportunities for elderly folk revisit smarts of their youth.
No matter scant details recalled upon
arising from slumber, this even though
submerged into deep unconscious - (as
ifmine being plunged bajillion miles
subterranean catacombs) thoroughly
saturated with inaccessible facets of my
person then **** – like a magic dragon!

Every last detail vanishes without a trace,
whence each eyelid slowly opens (never
jarred out sleep) - only my own Circadian
clock determines when (no idea how) body
electric (temporary property of mortal
christened Matthew Scott Harris) returns
yours truly to state of consciousness, or

thee closest approximation thereof, where
by sense and sense and sensibility minus
pride and prejudice immediately severed,
no longer linked tin (analogous to Internet
Error Code 404 - page not found) finds me
straining with might of Hercules - all in vain,
yet lingering drowsiness (torpor still main

training strong toehold) dissipates ever so
slowly, thus rendering ability impossible to
cogitate - quite helpful when reading or write
ting, and when cerebral clarity becomes
manifest...nary a whisper recollected, when
mean drama exploded within pitted cranial
fifty plus shades of gray matter parameters

suddenly vibrant rattletrap quiescence, a
proxy armistice snatching at lightspeed any
recollection rendering sleepyhead (non talking)
befuddled, confused, dazed... numbskull pre
vented (even with proper clearance) access to
top secrete, potential mutinous, juicy fruit
confidential data, which necessitates one

bushy eyed and bright tailed primate to scratch
his noggin with futility although well rested
fitful without ways nor means to dredge up
sunken treasures briefly uncovered during
stretch of time hide nave **** did blink, none
zee less..., an enjoyable shuteye state of being -
allowing, enabling, and providing short lived
respite bearing down as if trying to shrug off atlas!
My motto comprises to exalt in this moment rather than delude myself with any grandiose illusions.

PREFACE: PREPARE TO SET ASIDE A PARTIAL ETERNITY
TO PERUSE THE CONTENTS OF THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE.

Ohm my...volt a mort...
coalescence of coaxed friendship
analogous to miarculous birth
whoa there lovely reader,
no doubt without resistance,
your smile can generate
amp pull power to light up earth
noah matter this totally tubular stranger
unknown to thee as Adam,
evokes an aura, charisma, enigma,
patina, persona...wis spurs this note
to kindle courtesy tinder warm
fine companionable individual connection
exuding sheepish mirth
per intuiting your wool e worth.

I enjoy making accessible, convincible,
evincible, gullible, intelligible,
kissable invoking comments
perhaps on account oof a cerebral dent
though many respondents rage at this gent
sans his playful wordiness leant
only genuine acquaintanceship meant,
and their valuable time spent
to decipher my gibberish,
which binary logorrhea might rent
asunder unsuspecting cyber surfer
evicted out the human league

since possessing propensity
for presenting ambitious, burdenous,
conspicuous, disadventurous, onerous,
and tremendous cerebral task
necessitating hours decrypting
blurb subsequently forcing
whatever gender appended recipient
to an anonymous he/she,  
forsaking their precious time
maybe even unwittingly affecting individual
impacting his/her employment
ending result they/them live in a tent.

This poet knows a mew lion
ranges of feline artful dodging cat skills,
(especially when cavorting among comedians
associated and linkedin with Borscht Belt - ha)
concocting incomprehensible confusing trills.

Some of these claws pickling skills include maintaining mouse sized dignity muttering cheeses crust (while under fire from Stuart little), kibitzing, nibbling on self crafted bon mots, and rubbing dead giveaway crumbs (from double entendres) using all faux paux into thy maw paw cent less whole foods masticating mouth, where commestibles enter without choppers.

Sanguine at one hundred minus thirty six, or two squared + three squared + four squared + five squared + square root of one hundred = an apt and pithy phrase to matt's matrix labyrinth best characterized as a twisted maze (along a boulevard of broken dreams) lodged deeply inside this dutiful dada shackled to an endless role of scullion, but silently gesticulated for salvation.

This spruced up fun guy (and not unduly coy -- see) pines for friendship to cure nostrum from domestic plight i.e. living like a caged rat in cell bite size state.

Just a spoonful of sugar (hummed to that classic mary poppins melody) will most definitely help this medicine go down.

Mine current existence like a modern Henry David Thoreau.

After perusing this rambling prose (from mine being psyche feeling walled in), you might judge this personal struggle more on a par with Oliver Twist.

I sincerely seek salient gallant wings (with or without dish pan hands) to take this humble human being who can (ha) bring a fairy tale ending to my Cinderfella patterned existence.

Away I want to soar no matter such fantasy a fool's paradise.

An extra ticket to paradise (actually four powerball tickets bought today – September 7th, 2023 for that reason) just needs to be made manifest, and thee could be a boon, balm, salve, and tonic plus receive preferential treatment to travel in tandem with one stranger in a strange land.

Only upon surrendering to a deep and peaceful boss ah nova heavy metal sleep, (which dream state will take place soon) does the fictional world (within the wide wedded web of this wayward thinking wanderer) take hold and serve up a brief hiatus to a life devoid of contentment.

This amateur baker would cook up a souffle or rhubarb ken pie if willingly processed from mine own personal lake woebegone awash with raw bits of flotsam and jetsam and empty boxes of powdered milk biscuits, the one with big blue stains on the outside.

San sol invictus served ancient civilizations as their com-stock load.

Like a modern day icarus this wedded warbler mulls the possibility of finding a real live likeness of what constitutes a hologram of his mythic muse, who exudes able bodied confidence donning every filament.

Keep on dreaming cyber buddy, an anonymous reader might think, telepathically communicate or even communicate via email, which idealism goads me to broadcast the following fanciful (and perhaps not so far fetched) feasible find among the frequent purveyors of this website.

The vague nebulous barely perceptible kernel of a fictional account per my own conjured up vision (as pertains to what might comprise a companionable buddy to me) could conceivable materialize into an actual arch de triumphant revelation once landing this wistful nugget of an idea into the conscious of unconscious mind of an unknown galivanting fellow writer, who just by a fluke (of the worm holes populating the universe) finds themself piqued with curiosity about me.

Not a whit of information yet exists about this dabbler of prose, who envisions himself in seventh heaven (no matter he in truth really admits to espousing an atheistic outlook on the cosmos), where fickle finger of fate (usually the middle one raised by an obstreperous onlooker) ideally finds me all in the family within human species able to articulate in a civilly (disobedient) and democratic manner emotions, ideas, sentiments and thoughts with an unpretentious air of sophistication.

Said **** sapien (meaning balsamic scented hominid) would also possess a cosmopolitan demeanor, yet clear of all any modest knotty suaveness, but also able, eager, ready and willing to allow, enable and provide quite an ability to get into an amazing tangle of literary profundity.

This older fellow seriously believes he got borne in an in apropos century and revels in another illusory consideration - aside from trying to summon forth a living gal of flesh and bone from this overactive imagination maybe an accompanying bipedal hominid within medium of time travelling.

Frequent farcical notions flit to and fro inside the biggest *** ***** triggering bonafide premature ejaculations of bonhomie. Case in point hair with not an immensely large head.

This wordsmith would feel at home if transported to the renaissance or medieval ages, or more recently that war between the north and south.

If hedging bets with yours truly being a reincarnated union soldier of yore, you no doubt already can infer, where thy political and more pertinently national federation of me as singularity amidst webbed wide world would get cast.

Okay, the original aim of (what many might hashtag as yahoo) really wishes to explore make believe world, and just maybe ***** inquisitive online browser, who although she might not be seeking male relationship just by happenstance or circumstance experiences some inexplicable necessity to reply.

In the event should lady luck liberate yours truly would be like a divine guiding star, I know best to tamp down any precipitous illusions of grandeur, but would let the natural course of familiarity usher the chap a roan of sacredness to be cherished for however short or long such a friendship might endure.

Oh yes, an ongoing (specifically offline) interaction motivates this doubting thomas fool hardy spurious posting to be ransacked with absolutely total consent in an effort to be plucked from this (utterly difficult to describe) morass of contemptuous husbandry discontent with self, yet consideration to stay faithfully married with wife (since July 25th, 1996) would be a moderately strong consideration.

So, now with a zing
or an unexpected
gold plated invitation after yodeling
hoop ye kin be a yang 2 me yin
Asia step into the digital xing
via summit da fall low wing
written *** jest byte ting
tongue in cheek unsure if phone will ring
in an effort to hear pleasant,
yet discordant musical ka -- ching
for cherished pennies, nickels, dimes,
et cetera from heaven to bring.
Daylight saving time end date

thus, go tell the (buttoned down,
     burly, blustering buster)
     "day light save
     ving time" watchman,
     he must absquatulate,
Percheron high horse,
     cuz his curmudgeon,
     crony chrono logical brethren

     will soon expedite
long established decree,
     whereby populace
     linkedin with Doctor
     Frankenstein to accommodate
sans, one third portion
     of the year to activate
"standard time," despite

     less than adequate
advantages figuratively *******
     the "hands of time,"
     despite annual instagram
     "flash mob," who adjudicate
taking timely matter
     to the highest court
    demanding officials

     to administrate
hands down, and
     immediately inculcate
the sensible implementation,
     no more than twelve
     months standard time,
     which the majority do advocate
offers more bene

     fits than drawbacks
     minimally doth aggravate
the Circadian rhythm versus
     physiological affects in aggregate
inclusive would be
     quasi jet lag,
     especially anxiety proponents,
     which claim tampering

     with clockwork does agitate,
nee, this turning
     back and forth
     time pieces can exacerbate
predilection to panic attack
     (case sensitive in point myself),
whereat severe
     disembodied sensation

     finds no alternative,
     or recourse, but amputate
thee noggin yes,
     an extreme alternative
     mostly fashionable
     among decapitated dead,
     who require talking
     heads to articulate

then successful crowned
     subjects with a new,...er...
     (rather preowned noodle)
     (no longer running
     around like a chicken

     without their head) assimilate
among motley crue, with
     whom they undertake
interacting with person,
     or even animal, viz
     skull king recipient.
The following lines
haphazardly linkedin
slap dash fashion
over the course
of dazed and confused days,
therefore desist reading
any profound meaning
if you dear reader dare expend
energy and time perusing
meandering gibberish.

One mortal wedded male
pledged his troth and married gold,
thus Marigold (abbreviation of her name)
my monied imaginary paramour,
I willingly tasted sweetened deal
until milk of human kindness went sour,
whereat said benefactor
no longer ponied up funds
and didst reckon
eyes that espy wads of moolah.

She naysayed bequeathing
unlimited largesse,
and claimed over generous
financial beneficence
spurred misplaced
horse sense to go amiss
not thee holy grail
viz billeted, fortified,
lulled, and touted panacea

steeped with ushering bliss
delivering monetary salvation
analogous envisioning mirage
to an ephemeral lost horizon,
which illusory utopia
foolhardy to chase after
fostering long globe trotting criss
crossing all four square corners
across the oblate spheroid

in search of said golden manna,
experiencing das boot
jilted jack of alt raids
copacetic, fetishistic,
idiomatic...logogrammatic,
opportunistic, rhapsodic, universalistic...,
nevertheless despite surge
of clamoring sycophants
bajillion dollars windfall wordsmith
wishes himself subsequently

cursed bing flush
with ample legal tender
quite ad aware
regarding the over emphasis
on material trappings
courtesy the blitzkrieg of
mass media/ popular culture
and the adumbrated pleasure
of the leisure class

vis a vis his venerated holiness
trumpeted, encapsulated, and donned
conspicuous consumption
(tba as wasting away greenbacks)
SPCA adopted pet credo, ethos,
hot button western civilization polemics,
this hortatory expressed
by Thorstein Veblen
doth not miss

a figurative beat,
which American
not so shabby chic ethic
brought him as eminence grise -
though tongue in cheek he made Swiss
cheese out of the bulwark
constituting the capitalistic coda,
which I rarely sermonize, but tis
only this instance to beseech
whomever may anonymously

intercede on my behalf
to parlay voo any dollar figure -
since this LXIV year old papa
of two fully grown
darling daughters struggles
psychologically like the dickens
learning how to take broken wing,
and a prayer
to reinforce analogous fence of defiance,
yours truly uber twittering

one flew over the cuckoo's nest
birds of a feather stick together
meaning mine other half thee spouse
similarly tussles and wrestles
with psychological mailer daemons -
that snigger and laugh
at owning psychic landscape,
as similar malevolent depredations
infiltrate my mind –
ousted through the staff

of pharmaceutical wizards -
this chap relies on eight
prescription medications
to attain quality mental health
and receives social security disability
for incursions of anxiety, panic,
and social schizoid disorders
in years gone by exacerbated
by unceasing verbal black barbs
from mine imaginary mistress - ha.
164 · Nov 2023
Richard Mcgeehan Poem
Poetic license I employ
to match inventive
wisdom and witticism
regarding (brother in law of mine
husband of eldest sister of same)
interspersing, initiating, incorporating
fabrication whenever possible,
and only the subject himself
can discern fact from fiction
and get a chuckle.

Re: noun polymath
and longtime resident
of Woodbury, New Jersey
story of his life
constitutes real cinéma vérité
depicting veteran jack of all trades,
and adept Morris dancer to boot,
whereby ankles donned with bells
while whistles fell from the house of usher
crowded house Aesop Poe's  

his rubbery shapely legs
bending vaguely resembling an oxbow
amazingly gracefully they meander,
when sharing an anecdote
then listener amply electrified
attired courtesy with rapt attention
donning brooks brothers
complimentary wardrobe
courtesy Durand thrift store,
and/or popular Goodwill

(though prices noticeably
steeper at the latter),
where he donates
and buys tools, tchotchkes,
gizmos, gadgets, clothes, and books
tests intricacy, viability of instruments,
lounges, couches and countenances
against being Lazy Boy,
nevertheless irresistibly shifting into supineness
around cozy davenports,

and to ease sofa ring takes doze
on comfortable recliner,
while engrossed reading
suddenly striking sitting inquisitive posture
(pedic) as revolutionary
humanoid lifelike mannequin
free advertising to expose
how Chat Generative
Pre-trained Transformer

(a large language model-based chatbot
developed by OpenAI
and launched on November 30, 2022,
which enables users to refine
and steer a conversation towards
a desired length, format, style,
level of detail, and language -
oh... and for your information
Monty the Python wrote these words)
suddenly artificial intelligence frozen

out and rendered obsolete
**** sapiens thinking prowess
as well as relevance of human species
grows undermined, overshadowed, enslaved,
et cetera, where twenty first
sentient beings of civilization
reduced to beasts of burden
scattered to all four winds
analogous to rolling stones
simians scraping the earth

using fingers as hoes
eventually survival of the fittest
evolution did impose
steely phalanges (the bones
that make up the toes
of the hand and the fingers
of the foot - ha) on common joe's
biden their time scaling Kilimanjaro's
three volcanic cones:
Kibo, Mawenzi, and Shira

keenly synchronized
trained scientific seismographs
linkedin with their sensory perceptions
helped maintain honed vigilance
former killer foo fighting goo goo dolls
rendered physiques tight as longbows
(actually stunt doubles
weathering bubbling lava mudflows)
amazing special effects witnessed
each spectacular rivaling, towering inferno

metamorphosing into jolly green
(rather orange) giant blob with green thumb
clowning around with FAKE bulbous nose,
indiscriminately spewing forth
liquid bedrock that quickly overthrows
entire bygone webbed wide world
swallowing prized archaeologically
ancient Egyptian and classic Roman civilizations,
where Nero played a mean fiddle
liquidating treasured chests of pharaohs

heaving, melting, repurposing sphinx
in accordance with pyramid scheme
Ponzi scam would long since crumble
and degenerate like house of cards
attesting to fraudulent
***** deeds done dirt cheap
composition and never hold a match against
pure clean fracturing conchoidal quartzose,
one divine comedy troupe rose
above the global liquefaction

affected climate change,
whereat the sheltering sky
offered no escape nor protection
against preternatural edge of night
as dark shadows
encapsulated outer limits
of the twilight zone
quickly extinguishing existence
of **** sapiens planet earth reconstituted
and seeds of life and white lily
omnipotent creator did transpose.

Act chilly
and bass sic hilly
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
completing number seventy five
orbitz, and after ye dip and dive
for another quarter century
(of course still attending
Cherry Hill Unitarian Church)
ye will be fêted oldest member
and maybe the oldest one alive.
Addends, minuend, subtrahends... all Greek
to poor student long haired pencil necked freak.

****** (internal) revenue stream
plus plugged egress
equals flood of woe
torturous suffocation
of biosphere quite slow
particularly concerning one
Norwegian bachelor farmer from Oslo
amidst the bajillions of people,
one common Joe
(cur) just biden his time

pleading to acquire
much needed dough,
attorney General assistant Lynne Costello
sought out to help yours truly
(to no avail)
hoof hound himself cloven
and rent asunder courtesy
ofttimes mentioned cyber outlaws
preying upon (long in the tooth) fellow
suddenly his entire body electric
being deceived synonymous

with the plot of Iago
in my version starring
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
as none other than Othello
punch drunk as Judy
falling down laughing,
roistering, yammering hysterically
and rolling with a ****** Rockafellow,
whose role as a convincing fall guy
convincingly contradicted himself
as an above board underfellow.

Yours truly voluntarily recruited himself,
cuz he haint been rather astute
therefore welcomes
a swift kick in the derrière
courtesy squared off steel tipped boot
knocking the living daylights
predicated on lovely bonehead moment
linkedin to poppycock that did compute
as sense and sensibility
even suspicious to a deaf-mute
leary toward one extortionist

pièce de résistance, he did execute
and pulled wool over my eyes
analogous to snake charmer
playing magic (Johnson) flute
transfixing yours truly
a dunderhead lunkhead punked galoot
who in hindset could not add up
fishy (worm I going)
oh yeah... virtually nabbed
courtesy cyber bandits,
who gane nary a hoot

prying skewed logistics I impute
to wanna hang myself
courtesy suitable length of jute
tied with Gordian knute
gofundme page welcomes pledging loot
to help me (if you can)
with desired great expectation moot,
hence these lovely bones
when cremated will be transformed
into fine powder
more inert than a newt.
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