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184 · Aug 2018
Light Brainstorm Dust Hail
Ah haint goot
     no trade secret, boot verily
     attest adventitious, bounteous, and
     capacious divine intervention
     (analogous to invisible
     Charge of the Light Brigade)

     timely saving grace amaze
zing lee engorges,    
engirdles, and engenders mine
     body, mind and spirit,
     which psychic triage
     accruing, germinating,

     and manifesting forth
     coming, and appearing
     at the most opportune
     pluperfect kindling jawboning, and
     instagramming optimal instant – sparing
     irreparable cerebral damage,

     yet inflicting temporary
     temporal lobe trauma
     not surprising giving
     brain big bang, sans
     tickly totally tubular raise
zing trumpeting – analogous

     to Portuguese man-of-war
     sea render tyranny
     over fifty plus shades sways
undulating gray matter
     doth lightly secretely
     with naturally excreted

     unguent liberal mindedly braise,
which explanation might meet
     with skepticism, but craze
zee as such
     "FAKE" holy transcendent
     heavenly extra corporeal

     modus operandi may seem,
     an inexplicable force
     powerfully Herculean sensation
     grips me noggin leavening
     mental scratch pad in a daze
of blinding poetic inspiration doth
    
     like quaffing goblet
     of gin n tonic faze
this phenomena plays
a particularly puzzling role
     on account difficult to phrase
in light of my being an atheist,

which non deistic, theistic,
     nor Vedic precept stays
metaphorically locked, linkedin, and
     leveraged in place,
     despite nonreligious confession
     augmentation, attribution,

     and association
     showers inspiration, where
     eyes fixedly glaze
as literary creativity attaining
     high psychological grades
     dramatically engages fantastically

     with cosmic force appearing
     as nebulous haze
seems antithetical to premise
     couched, fixated, and interleaved
     anchor rightly, viz
     secular humanism inlays

     votary visa versa entrees
shutterfly, snapchat twitter
     comport comfortably seated
     as upon royal chaise
lounge steeped within
     monastic hermetically ascetic ways.
183 · Aug 2018
C. Cure T. Clarence
Been making, (sans
     daily) regular appearance
in the news oval
     hate gambling arrogance
vis a vis spewing,
     shouting, and scathing rabidly
     foaming explosive clap
     trap in ascendance,

asserting how incredibly
     tremendous collusion between
     CIA, FBI and media
(must warrants revocation,
hence heroic intervention,
     and emergency dis
     Pence sing balance
     of security fabled

     clearances Aesop - Asap)
     hounds engaged "brilliance"
in (community) chance
of making an very
     usual fool of himself,
     viz the "FAKE"
     trumpeting dapper Don
     expostulating the latest ploy,

     raging against the machine
     i.e. entire popular culture
     will get their comeuppance
being so freely outspoken,
     a disgraceful unconstitutional defiance
which oh press
     sieve act of deviance
spluttered, thus an extreme

     measure to clamp down
     on all news outlets,
     and immediate disappearance
all the while poor
     Melania stoically, objectionably
     and lamentably stands
     right alongside him,
     (nonetheless nonverbally

2.
     metaphorically exhibiting
     vitriolic livid rage)
     as he rancorously spouts
     (ala VERY) convincing impression
     of la va reenactment qua,
Krakatoa volcanic disturbance
lambasting utter disgraceful disservice
(foxy Dis Putin

     commercial stations construe, conspire,
     conjure egregious collusion
     outlets asper dominance
a pugilistic ringside fan loathsomely
     (re: scowling non verbally),
     wherein pejorative spectators whether
     (moral less minority, and/or
     majority whips lashing) weather being

     subsequently splashed by
     LXXII spittle aged
     perspiring ogre) with exuberance
(like some voodoo freelance
sing hexed indigo gurl goo goo doll,
a villainous venal mummified
     rattle trap declaring forbiddance
from this moment forward grievance

fomented by via triple threat
     to American democracy
     sans, intransigence, insouciance, ignorance,
thus taking recourse upon the heads
     of "stupid" journalists forcing hand
toward "losers" who spread lies,
     hence president signs issuance
analogous to lance

sing (via strong trumpeting arm),
     a yuge bigly boil saying believe me
     (meaning him - ***** in chief)
asseverating the congressional,
     global, and orbital
     bulwark acting with noncompliance
necessitating entire military
     industrial complex arsenal

     heavily reinforced (at
     the expense of every social,
     governmental, environmental, etc cetera
     to manage unruly populace
     with mandatory diktat decreeing obeisance
with non dodging demagoguery
     huff ford ding auto-da-fé fiat ordinance
this platform to guarantee overdominance,

when November 2020 election
     for forty sixth president
     takes place with poignance!
Wɜrdz spɛld kəˈrɛkt ˈvɜrsəs fəˈnɛtɪkˈspɛlɪŋ

alternately titled fun with phonics
ˈɔltərnətli ˈtaɪtəld fʌn wɪð ˈfɑnɪks
analogous when like first learning how to spell American English words

Əˈnæləgəs wɛn laɪk fɜrst ˈlɜrnɪŋ haʊ tu spɛl əˈmɛrəkən ˈɪŋglɪʃ wɜrdz

I thought to feign not knowing how to spell American English words

Aɪ θɔt tu feɪn nɑt ˈnoʊɪŋ haʊ tu spɛl əˈmɛrəkən ˈɪŋglɪʃ wɜrdz

and quickly realized the daunting task,

Ænd ˈkwɪkli ˈriəˌlaɪzd ðə ˈdɔntɪŋ tæsk,

thus sought magnanimity, gratuity, courtesy...
Google search (phonetic transcription of words) to assist me

Ðʌs sɔt magnanimity, grəˈtuɪti, ˈkɜrtəsi..
ˈgugəl sɜrʧ (fəˈnɛtɪk ˌtrænˈskrɪpʃən ʌv wɜrdz) tu əˈsɪst mi

Words spelled correct versus phonetic spelling
(the latter appended after poem concludes).

Thus now begins feeble attempt
to render rhyme for no reason
appended with phonetic translation
mainly as playful tease zen
synonymous imagining teaching
said exercise to eager children

reminding readers that young
and restless with spotty attention
hear spoken word while in utero,
post natal, subsequently when
he/she parrots parent(s) and/or

guardian, a more deliberate yen
arises to acquire greater cognition,
intuition, question (quest ja hen)
quickly devolving into faux ken
barbed riotous laughter analogous
trying wits of patient comedian/

comedienne resorting quite often
to repetition, remonstration,
reiteration... which frustration
might necessitate taking ten,
or so minutes of intermission
mindful mentor praises pen

ultimate verbal adroit ability
earning healthy treat for recitation,
perhaps recipient exceptionally
eager to advance passing golden
milestone able, ready, and will ***
to tackle writing correct spelling,

whence learning to hold pen(cil)
(without being vain) begin men
till process, which next step den
allows, enables and provides sen
sit heave hands on guidance

helping preschooler - all liven
and well with enthusiasm clutch
writing implement fingers open
before gently grasping above ren
during kudos with an amen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

wɜrdz spɛld kəˈrɛkt ˈvɜrsəs fəˈnɛtɪk ˈspɛlɪŋ

Ðʌs naʊ bɪˈgɪnz ˈfibəl əˈtɛmpt
tu ˈrɛndər raɪm fɔr noʊ ˈrizən
əˈpɛndɪd wɪð fəˈnɛtɪk trænˈzleɪʃən
ˈmeɪnli æz ˈpleɪfəl tiz zɛn
səˈnɑnəməs ɪˈmæʤənɪŋ ˈtiʧɪŋ
sɛd ˈɛksərˌsaɪz tu ˈigər ˈʧɪldrən

riˈmaɪndɪŋ ˈridərz ðæt jʌŋ
ænd ˈrɛstləs wɪð ˈspɑti əˈtɛnʃən
hir ˈspoʊkən wɜrd waɪl ɪn ˈjutəroʊ,

poʊst ˈneɪtəl, ˈsʌbsəkwəntli wɛn
hi/ʃi ˈpɛrəts ˈpɛrənt(ɛs) ænd/ɔr
ˈgɑrdiən, ə mɔr dɪˈlɪb(ə)rət jɛn
əˈraɪzəz tu əˈkwaɪər ˈgreɪtər kɑgˈnɪʃən,
ˌɪntuˈɪʃən, ˈkwɛsʧən (kwɛst jɑ hɛn)

ˈkwɪkli dɪˈvɑlvɪŋ ˈɪntu fɔks kɛn
bɑrbd ˈraɪətəs ˈlæftər əˈnæləgəs
ˈtraɪɪŋ wɪts ʌv ˈpeɪʃənt kəˈmidiən/
kəˌmidiˈɛn rɪˈzɔrtɪŋ kwaɪt ˈɔfən
tu ˌrɛpəˈtɪʃən, remonstration,
riˌɪtəˈreɪʃən... wɪʧ frəˈstreɪʃən

maɪt nəˈsɛsəˌteɪt ˈteɪkɪŋ tɛn,
ɔr soʊ ˈmɪnəts ʌv ˌɪntərˈmɪʃən
ˈmaɪndfəl ˈmɛnˌtɔr ˈpreɪzəz pɛn
ˈʌltəmət ˈvɜrbəl əˈdrɔɪt əˈbɪləti
ˈɜrnɪŋ ˈhɛlθi trit fɔr ˌrɛsəˈteɪʃən,
pərˈhæps rəˈsɪpiənt ɪkˈsɛpʃənəli

ˈigər tu ədˈvæns ˈpæsɪŋ ˈgoʊldən
ˈmaɪlˌstoʊn ˈeɪbəl, ˈrɛdi, ænd wɪl lɛn
tu ˈtækəl ˈraɪtɪŋ kəˈrɛkt ˈspɛlɪŋ,
wɛns ˈlɜrnɪŋ tu hoʊld pɛn(cil)
(wɪˈθaʊt ˈbiɪŋ veɪn) bɪˈgɪn mɛn
tɪl ˈprɑˌsɛs, wɪʧ nɛkst stɛp dɛn
əˈlaʊz, ɛˈneɪbəlz ænd prəˈvaɪdz sɛn

sɪt *** hændz ɑn ˈgaɪdəns
ˈhɛlpɪŋ ˈpriˌskulər - ɔl ˈlaɪvən
ænd wɛl wɪð ɪnˈθuziˌæzəm klʌʧ
ˈraɪtɪŋ ˈɪmpləmənt ˈfɪŋgərz ˈoʊpən
bɪˈfɔr ˈʤɛntli ˈgræspɪŋ əˈbʌv rɛn
ˈdʊrɪŋ ˈkudoʊs wɪð ən eɪˈmɛn.
183 · Jan 2022
The Antics Of A Yoyo Thief
Now scores of years
after botched minor theft penchant
courtesy security guard
analogous to inquisitorial trenchant
unforgettable verbal lashing
(suppressing me ululation to vent)
unwittingly arresting snitch behavior
plus potential life of crime.

Not a peep passed thru
pursed lip o' mine -
aye vaguely attest
what age ten? eleven? twelve?
of following anecdote at best
educated guess, but no
doubt yours truly
with figurative heart in chest
scared sh__less puny meek boy
tight lipped silently confessed

to foiled attempt, sans trying
unsuccessfully to steal a yoyo,
during Saturday's short break
between gymnastic class
inviting tummy prepubescent
diminutive self unbuttoning
outer garment to stash loot,
revealing substantially sprawling
holy skype size bare breast,
after officer verbally rifled me

said mean security detail
demanding I undress
impossible mission to escape
upon being nabbed,
held me arms tight,
cuz yours truly
ain't no Artful Dodger  
thus aye didst detest
foolish kid ploy, and
(prematurely nipping

in the bud) messed
up potential life of crime
with first and only
shoplifting heist jest
for getting caught no a pest
key yoyo, mama would
(IF ever mama or papa FOUND OUT)
they would axe me no quest
chin, but whack me itty bitty
teensy weensy derriere lest

quickly putting to rest
any Robin Hood
fantasy life of riding crest
to get rich quick scheme
high stakes crime pressed,
and squeezed out the noggin
with apropos punishment addressed
thankfully, neither parent
got wind, nor ever guessed
their beautiful darling

little boy did flunk
electric kool aid acid test
petty theft, never
matured nor ever again did zest
proliferate to ****** unpaid for goods
into a profitable "yoyo
string Ponzi like
scheme," thus ballsiest
dare devilish and bitterest,
and laughably noblest

act yours truly ever attempted
immediately ceased to shelve bravest
sleight of hand find
delve during broadest
daylight, I immediately
didst abandon, when clumsiest
initial foray into
the world wide web
tubby come cleverest
lad, this side of

Lansdale, Pennsylvania
many damnedest
yesterdays ago, never
took another earnest
tempting gamble since security
detail nearly wrest
head possible zapped feeblest Ames?
to pilfer from other
Department stores if pressed
for money no matter,
I might miss an enforced
hated ballet class,
with abs salute zest
worse fate than juvenile detention!
Without making a
twit tarring buffoon, sans unshackle
irrepressible bone a fide
funny reaction, or appearing
the foolish spectacle

of myself, trying to tackle
a mal hip apropos
prism mirth wells up
inducing me to cackle,
neither explaining any rhyme,
nor giving reason, then busting

out in laughter obliquely
analogous to ramshackle
structure, resultant outcome
from some slapstick
Vaudevillian farcical debacle,

perhaps regarding the heady
beer burr of Seville scene thru
black and white daguerreotype mackle
more or less hazy, gauzy,
or fuzzy warm

feeling in actuality
thinly disguised as
dog gone hackle,
which vicious canine attacks ready
to tear limb bough to limb mitt,

thus luckily handily repair
with accessible spackle
ye kept on yar person, which caper
doth captcha an instantaneous titter
easily confused for
mating call of grackle

giving rise to a raft of songbirds
that incessantly crackle
snap, and pop with...witch sounds
indeed oven eerily
****** ****'n vampire
bat out of hell cackle.

Other creatures in
the animal kingdom
cane be barley able
to communicate wheat seems
oat rage juice lee wry,

no matter how
much horse sense,
a smart species doth
porpoise lee try
though porcine not

remiss to wallow
in mud as seen high
atop a bridge
abutment over the River Kwai
ah look...a pig in a poke

unable to pry
loose caked mud blocking snout
prematurely *******, an outcry
for help even fishing for small fry
doubling up as

potential best buds
with Englishman such as Dry
den, and/or dear reader
hood doth lamentably cry

claiming this badinage i.e. my
trademark gobbledygook didst render
momentary lapse of
reasonable judgement alibi.
(untimely death sentence ordained ~ early February 1935)

Test teasing prophylactics embarrassing
purchase never made at local drugstore
unsurprisingly, obviously, invariably...
birth control taboo subject, best to ignore
subsequently ******* awkwardly coordinated,
consummated, completed extempore
hence bun in the oven bon jure

yielded unicellular spore
while in utero ~ early/mid
February I ain't exactly sure
nineteen hundred thirty five - dirt poor
Harriet Harris, fourth, last born
fetched vicinity Coney Island offshore

by stork, became favorite progeny begat
courtesy Morris, and then swore
celibacy forever more
Rebeckah Kuritsky heretofore
harbored inchoate genetic fore
boded, encoded, inscribed
deadly mutations housed,

fetched, dispatched and bore
flawed BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes sketched
affecting circumscribing her allotted mortality
orbitz equaling about three and a half score
unknowingly, unsuspectingly, unwittingly,
her biologic fatal demise indelibly etched.

Breast cancer first brush
sounded death knell
Harriet approximately clocked fifty plus
underwent grueling radiation
plus chemotherapy
carcinoma eradicated allowed,
enabled, provided breathing spell

reprieve accentuated, galvanized, punctuated...
newfound zealous zest almost
nothing could quell
significance pray tell
new lease on life to sell
lib berate cherish, relish, whish

each precious moment
thwarting pell mell
adversity with bon vivant elan
and gusto to issue rebel yell
kickstarting, making breast
livingsocial aye bell,

especially after despite... er... well
her double mastectomy,
she looked fabulously swell
courtesy silicon implants
slight downside reconstituted
racked ***** *****
susceptible to ooze gel.

Many years post remission telltale
diagnosis, viz ovarian,
despite requisite hysterectomy
emotionally did impale,
she instinctually, intuitively,
invariably, yet quiver and quail

against impending demise 24/7 did assail
guardian angel(s) of no avail,
nor did yours truly proffer nurturance
resentment smoldering within this male
red hot poker anger lambasting me
peppered with ultimatums to vamoose,

never got resolved ensuing estrangement
deterred reaching out to embrace,
hearing raspy fading breaths exhale,
miserably tethered with tubes
when she did severely pine ail

and grievously bewail
corporeal essence ashen pale
awkwardly, helplessly, stupidly... I stood
formidable grim reaper foe whisked mother
to Elysian fielded dale.
Decades since frittering like - yule
ne'er believe me, boot true
lee, I wreck clues lee wasted
     my life lock, stock, and barrel
     as if there **** no tomorrow,
     this skein knee boy didst spool
away youth like some drool
ling doggone motley fool

     while mutely dumbfounded taking -
     as undeclared seriously gruel
ling studious favorite pursuit - duel
major space and time, believing
     them tubby (out
     of this world), and cool,
yet unbeknownst tummy then
     more precious than any jewel,

hence this faux Einstein,
     who got pool
lightly dubbed"the quietest
     student", albeit still
     underhandedly cuffed and cruel
moniker, nonetheless wool
worth being spot on,
     though when within comfort

     of home aye
     yak act did mule
lush, non provoke'n, neither tool
ling with smoke'n,
     funny ****, but more specifically
     class (sic) self serving
     as token passive non rule
breaker counted among

     mysterious as Lemuel
     unlike hundreds of
     other rowdy seniors
     constituting the nineteen
     seventy seven graduating class
     of Methacton High School,
this now mooch older non "Warrior"
     (alma mater mascot) alumni -

     of late more astute,
(yea rather boyish looking edging
     into age bracket,
     viz ranked as ole coot)
far to late for
     me or any brute
to gather rose buds,
     fat and/or slim

     chance i.e. remote
     while I may in my dreams
     play Mozart's Magic flute
     at this late stage of life,
     no harvested crop yield,
     nor any sown
     healthy product rendered moot
('cept tantamount to rotten

     tomatoes and fruit)
all, cuz your truly
     did not give a hoot
'bout his future,
     later when the
     requisite need for loot
would be absolutely necessary,
     not necessarily to buy

     a fine gold spun suit,
but more so to be financially
(non bombastically, egotistically,
     nor inimitably) to toot
my own (baritone)
     horn, no any which
     ways appearing snoot
**** (more likely absent minded,

     versus trying tubby astute),
no matter this myopic googly eyed
     non-boastful logophile,
     these days (lives duet
tough lee hand to mouth
     existence) nearly destitute
his whole pro Lix life,
     witnessed, and flaunted

     (reed dit as) inked badge,
     (regardless getting promoted,
     but nearly failing every grade),
     and ambivalent toward
     dismal poor performance report cards
     testament toward tummy
     severely lacking ambition,
     while analogously forced

     to climb hemp fat tick rungs
     jute dish shuss academic ladder,
     no matter rope burns
     squarely didst root
moost unfavorable outcome
     to this wimp who mouthed
     pop eyed expletive
     conveying "oh chute",

     whose then palm (olive)
     oiled pilot size glute
more accurately boot
found me poor *** promoted
     to higher baby boomer chair

     despite favorably portentous signs
     tubby potential vagrant,
     who would lack self reliance,
    nor give a hoot
to stitch survivalist parachute.
182 · Aug 2018
GENESIS RESPLENDENT
Autumnal hint faintly tinges air
finding this mortal
     bewitched by blare
ring refulgent radiance,

      which quiets viz cheer
ring, harkening murmuring analogous,
     when Holiday carolers
     happily, gingerly, and

     festively doth declare
punctuating ethereal medium
     melodic equilibrium gently, ineluctably,
     and lightly dust flirtatiously

     kibitz, palpate, and tickle ear
projecting medicinal kissing effusion
     across world wide web
     primal beat linkedin within

     uber tinder shutterfly
     razzmatazz nature
     made renaissance faire,
which brilliant mid

    eve ville theme
     finds me shielding sensitive sight
     against blinding, glomming, and limning
     eye optic cull glare,

thus hands cupped
     visor like impinged
     whatsapp blinking instagram
     reduced vision bolsters hear

ring to increase decibel
(home on the) range
prodigious symphonic production
issuing verdant pastoral themes

billow and flow across terra firma
hallowed ground made sanctimonious  
immaculate mother earth conception
synchronized in symphony with terrestrial
fauna and flora, which life forms abound,
via natural laboratory called Mother Earth
especially at unseasonably

thermally, searingly scorching dawn
make offal spring tide, where multitudinous
existence  strain to avoid extinction
carving out figurative zoological niche

in kaleidoscope of pall luted colors
and funereal sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sounds compete
against backdrop clanging din

artist palette of rainbow blended spectral views,
sickeningly sabatoged, smeared, and sullied
which unforgiving, twining,
and strangulating manifestations
vaporize, undermine, and traumatize
therapeutic potential restorative
natural environment damaged
ability becalm ming terrestrial sepsis

no longer assuage auditory and
visual sense pleasures respectively
serve as psychic balm against global threat
of life, liberty and happiness triage psalm

rampant forming diabolical deliberate deeds
bred deeply rooted soiled hatred
kudzu resistance asphyxiates human camaraderie
democratic state attacked with no qualm

malicious terroristic plots splatter
(Jackson ******* like) methodical map
blueprint leaves catastrophic trail of red
dire prognostications constitute doomsday scenario
no rocket scientist mentality requisite
grave misfortune writ large for all life.
Peachy keen verboten maiden *******
USA plum ova ripe fruit
inevitably, inimitably, invariably,...
whets whistle pubescent magic flute
impossible mission to rein with absolute
zero ***** esse to temper acute

raging testosterone, I attribute
overbearing animal urge doth constitute
difficult surge protector
resultantly, subsequently, untimely...
not inconceivable teenage
parenthood does contribute

overwhelming responsibility
adds complex twist making destitute
expense regarding sudden newlife
analogous how simple surface
Möbius strip doth render convolute
frivolous shenanigans offer pointless dispute

buck haws fawn hook caisson
akin to holding back the tide, disrepute
fallout, whereby accountability ideally
one must distribute
between minors, who risked major shock
generally ill prepared to handle

grasping hot wire strong
enough to electrocute
call of the wild heedless,
when in throes to execute
human reproduction hard rock
tune somber sober air thenceforth

issues out magic flute
after drenching, dribbling, drooling
residual expulsions 'pon hirsute
tuft possibly engendering hyperacute
revulsion basically atavistic
copulation recalls imbrute

tell tale swollen belly of gal doth impute
culling instinctual maternal institute
fancy free footloose
promiscuity makes involute
sober reality moot point,
whether one or both kids feel irresolute
adding insult to injury

mama's papa's none to happy
swiftly kickstarts  harried styled jackboot
careful pops not to damage unborn
vital umbilical cord taut as jute
strong enough to harness malamute
and/or team of huskies in conjunction with

wild horses or domesticated
breeds Equus caballus
couldn't drag away even for one minute
infinitesimal speck - trim
unmistakable to misattribute,

how basic multiplication
one cannot miscompute,
and product will upend and misroute
grandiose plans leaving
puppy love mute.
entrapped within webbed wide world
weft as a **** pulled stilts skein
at warp speed exhibiting
my heroic trumpian wiles
cuz he (johnny come lately) a then
exemplary hedonist, narcissist,
and polygamist dons
comical, farcical, illogical, lunatical...
offal dolled up endearing guise,
when inconvenient truth broached

particularly determining paternity,
no matter countless progeny sport windblown
swiftly tailored mimicked
matted coiffure of mine
resembling hirsute trademark
of appalling though
revered forty fifth president,
nevertheless harried hair styles
in tandem with fabrications riles
the madding crowd - myself included

into frenzied ******* state,
no matter yours truly upholds
voluntary penitential platonic
marital modus operandi
suddenly as one celibate sexagenarian
absent physical *******
intolerable as hemorrhoids or piles
analogous to flat footed
yardbird schlepping miles
joining the long line of exiles.

Vice president of United states
gifted with maiden name Harris,
whose surname same as mine
one I feel like a proud boy to profess,
cuz ma late polymath
papa jack of all trades
self taught handyman skills
as an A1 roofer who repaired
and raised the entire roof
from stem to stern

never contracted shingles,
nor did his prodigal son - yours truly - me
experience the bane of painful rash
that can appear as a stripe of blisters
that wraps around the side of the torso
and caused by varicella-zoster virus (VZV),
the same virus that causes chickenpox,
hence Preparation H
best over the counter ideal balm
to ameliorate painful ****** itch

and thwart bummed out uneasiness,
enjoying consummated adultery
avoiding using uncomfortable prophylactics
(prickly prohibited topic dejure)
though riding *******
doth severely aggravate,
complicate, impregnate, and vitiate
surrogate domestic policy
putting a modern spin
on Anna and the King of Siam

with intent to create aery vision of utopia,
where videre licet barenaked ladies
essentially gamely frolic
in the autumn mist
fomenting one after another
to tease out rock ribbed ready *******
with premature ******* for excitation
Harum-scarum fidelity be ******
bordello supplants "city on a hill"
buzzfeeding ******* bunnies

with fourteen carrots to squire
then politely escort each
to their respective boudoir
in a blatant, explicit effort
to foster and grow caliphate
at the expense of electorate qualm
impossible mission to keep
brood of squired earthlings in the balance
portends especial ominous nightmare
if Project 2025 implemented

also known as
the 2025 Presidential Transition Project,
constitutes a political initiative
published by the Heritage Foundation
that aims to promote conservative
and right-wing policies
to reshape the United States federal government
and consolidate executive power
if the Republican candidate
garners majority of votes

making first day on the Somme
feel like kindergarten tussle
as anarchy rears up across
United States of America
pitting (olive him nonetheless) despicable
unnamed despot wannabe
analogous courtesy unsettled Leviathan
surfacing from the deep cyber sea
against cherished inalienable
constitutional rights buoying

the land of the free
and home of the brave
renting the country asunder,
with incendiary vitriolic rhetoric,
which similar fate befell Vietnam
thanks be partially
to hydrogenated, and promulgated
American foreign policy.
as highlighted below
to recaptcha wretched colonialism.

The (shameful – my input) about United States' foreign policy in Vietnam was shaped by several factors, including the Domino Theory, the Vietnam War, and the legacy of the war:

The Domino Theory
The U.S. foreign policy after World War II was based on the idea that if one country fell to Communism, the surrounding countries would follow, like dominoes.

The Vietnam War
The U.S. supported South Vietnam against North Vietnam, and fought in the war directly. The U.S. trained and assisted South Vietnamese forces, and conducted ground operations, river and canal patrols, and more. The war was costly and divisive, with estimates of over 3 million Vietnamese deaths and around 58,318 American deaths.

The legacy of the war
After the war, the U.S. imposed a trade embargo on Vietnam and severed ties with the country. The U.S. believed that Vietnam had violated the Paris Peace Accords and had not accounted for American prisoners of war. The embargo lasted until 1994.

Normalizing relations
In the 1990s, President Bill Clinton began normalizing diplomatic relations with Vietnam. Today, the U.S. and Vietnam have a relationship that includes maritime security assistance, and partnerships between Vietnamese universities and U.S. higher education institutions. 

The United States' foreign policy in Vietnam was shaped by several factors, including the Domino Theory, the Vietnam War, and the legacy of the war:

The Domino Theory
The U.S. foreign policy after World War II was based on the idea that if one country fell to Communism, the surrounding countries would follow, like dominoes.

The Vietnam War
The U.S. supported South Vietnam against North Vietnam, and fought in the war directly. The U.S. trained and assisted South Vietnamese forces, and conducted ground operations, river and canal patrols, and more. The war was costly and divisive, with estimates of over 3 million Vietnamese deaths and around 58,318 American deaths.

The legacy of the war
After the war, the U.S. imposed a trade embargo on Vietnam and severed ties with the country. The U.S. believed that Vietnam had violated the Paris Peace Accords and had not accounted for American prisoners of war. The embargo lasted until 1994.

Normalizing relations
In the 1990s, President Bill Clinton began normalizing diplomatic relations with Vietnam. Today, the U.S. and Vietnam have a relationship that includes maritime security assistance, and partnerships between Vietnamese universities and U.S. higher education institutions.

Before concluding this poem,
I wanna hammer home,
and nail laughable
personal misperception of
suspecting that roofers
specifically plagued with shingles
constituted from the following materials.

Asphalt: A traditional choice
for homeowners, asphalt shingles
made from a fiberglass or paper mat
covered in tar and granules.

Composite: These synthetic shingles
made from a combination of materials,
including recycled materials,
slate, laminate, and wood.

Wood: Wood shingles and shakes
made from logs of trees like Western Red Cedar,
Cypress, pine, or Redwood.

Some pieces are treated
with preservatives or fire retardants.
really trolley train hard to keep track of patients

Eye tell ya we (spuds)
pulled up stakes after four yar
and zero scores ago living in Bryn Mawr
salutary heart and lungs figurative
storied Main Line Health medical network
latter part of June tooth thousand seventeen

approximately July first
same year bidding au revoir
bid good riddance account
to slumlord - hood did spat and spar
moved to Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
unsafe to ride bicycle without handlebar

economical, geographical, practical...
subjected by Grosse and Quade tyrannical czar
dom low income facilities housing
nattering nabobs of nihilism whose intellect subpar
candidates vetted by Jaclyn Geiger registrar
courtesy nepotism unexceptional manager

thanks be to her papa, she drives fancy car
unlike this pauper and the missus
limited to schlep near and not far
afforded by rattletrap motorcar,
no driving prohibitive number of miles,
crossing sketchy territory warning signs

picturing dangerous avatar,
(especially during inclement whee thar)
determining risk to forego
top manic kin Michelin
money grubbing cannibalistic
surgeon's earning equivalent silver star,

or comparable civilian rating touting specialists
while bonafide topnotch indivisible tailors swifty
stitch ink, viz tattoo back parlor shop whar
exemplary Patients Matter Always
buzzfeeding, inoculating, kickstarting...
healthy medical network,

hobnob, kibitz, schmooze...
drown lackluster lovelife at the bar
parting paramour with such sweet sorrows par
for the course during pouring rain how bizarre
necessitated our lucky find locating physicians
supreme nsync with Google high reviews

receiving, scoring, nabbing,
incorporating... truevalue re: vector and scalar,
we veteran trooper seasoned renters
luckily blessed chance
cost us pennies on the dinar
general bang for buck amazingly
found yours truly strumming his air guitar

pleasantly situated among picturesque poplar
resort within Skippack Village, a tourist
mecca for devout or
secular gourmandizing, earning
catering and acquiescing savoir
ole mighty faire Benjamin
legally tendering expensive bazaar.
Marsh shilling (walled herd)
Whitman man inside
expedited without fanfare
takes yours truly to
hot air wind Copeland
an effort to expunge grievous

llama ants that chide
this NON GMO, nonconformist,
gluten free... brand
heralding supreme storied
ancestry courtesy 23andme guide
me with enlightenment, whereby

family (dollar) tree did expand,
visual perception these myopic
(color blind) brown eyes espied
thank you very mooch beloved
eldest sister Amelie plus band
of relatives, whose voluntary efforts

made significant stride
rightfully abetted digital technology,
vis a vis FIOS or other broadband
telecommunications company
allowing, enabling, and
providing me to bestride,

hitherto yawning gaps formerly
blank slated information
mystifying this pokey cowhand
before he doth give up his ghost,
when succumbing to grim reaper
patiently scythe ying at bedside

(mine) no matter gravely ill,
but ecstatic to learn extensive
eye opening insight spanned
generations back from present time,
once again lion's share opened
shuttered Pandora's box and defied

successful neatly mapped
genealogy regarding direct
(day late dollar short) penniless
descent, nonetheless grand
thieving ish kabibble
**** pa linkedin

with figurative trailer load
of rolling hard rocks seconds
to spare before I died,
thankfully this *******
loo nut hick kick bajillion
got earful of anecdotes

analogous to gourmand
checking off sought after eateries,
(especially Indian restaurant in
Newtown, Pennsylvania) on
bucket list before downslide
into infinite abyss i.e.

farce hide scanned
din knave eon aged Swede schlemiel
constituting non "FAKE" mockery,
trumpeting parody travesty,
many golden opportunities I denied

self, now toothless
drooling, groveling, sniveling...,
woof fully poorly manned
existence, thus...in gloom,
I forever reside!
My poetic side COSMOFUNNEL
wordsmith thanks tumblr in his noggin
ofttimes triggering babbling brook
to swell after deluge
becoming stream of consciousness runnel
carving, gouging, and liquidating topography
qua zee mow toe natural formed tunnel.

Digitally remastered and revised
since original version rejected, thus
writer released,  purposely leaked,
and flooded mass media
courtesy the following
self branded watershed vaunted unabridged
sprawling questionable and deplorable
creation loosed upon unassuming readers.

Analogously linkedin with
once upon a time
one doodling dandy Yankee slender man,
whose yang upended, overshadowed,
and eclipsed mine yin,
nevertheless, now yours truly self anointed
as an elder statesman - ha
gifted with unwanted
inxs of abdominal adipose tissue
(attributed to agent provocateur of aging,

which affects my metabolism
and/or courtesy
unwanted side effect reaction
from one or more
of the eight medications
nurse practitioner
at Penn Psychiatric Center
Phoenixville, Pennsylvania location
Elizabeth Clark prescribes),
which gained weight foments tussle

a fight to the death, I can never win
and alternately titled: arm ugh gut tin
yours truly loathes to mensch shin
one alien looking pear shaped
humanoid with redskin
liposuction advised courtesy Doctor Quinn
(a fictional character and magician,
I took poetic license
created above to help eradicate body dysmorphia),
she waved her wand and ****
transformed me into a puffin.

Aye dread getting undressed
and/or getting washed
even without spectacles
thar haint no mo' six pack ab,
which nearly rock ribbed
mid equatorial zone shape shifted
into corpuscular blubbery
ancillary physiognomy
where aye wanna bab
bull posttraumatic stressed out

middle age battle of the bulge
in summer re: a waisted effort
squarely (er rather roundly) testing
the elasticity of extra large sweatpants,
when straining to hide expanding girth
definitely producing undesirable effect,
(especially when floating in briny deep,
I squarely, honestly and closely resemble
the Chinese brother
who swallowed the sea  

strongly urging, necessitating,
and exhorting mister crab
to clamp down with pincers,
viz primitive liposuction,
whence rustling scupper
will efface this fleshed out
human bloviated ruggedly handsome
man of the webbed wide world
a bit heavy around the equator
over self indulgent fleshpot

unable, uneager, unready,
and unwilling to maneuver
his portly ill proportioned body
inducing unprovoked stares,
and tears for fears
eyes tracking billowing supersize shirt
resembling trireme sails being trimmed,
where fleshly freighted sloop
displaces entire watery expanse
stranding, stinging and starving an a ray

of underwater species,
now prolonging requisite inhalation;
I seek desperate sticktoitiveness
guidance courtesy Younan Nowzaradan
with steely mettle
hie trite to iron out flab
thus tis part and parcel of senescence,
yet auxiliary buttressed dermis
effect forming gorged girth
giving "love handles" grab

reigniting reign of terror
viz prepubescent anorexia nervosa,
boot strapped now - wen
remembrance of things past frankly
zapped distorted self-image
evoked holocaust images repugnant;
buttery rolls of fat insta jab
stubborn thoughts of self-loathing
entice me to become a lab
bore a tory guinea pig/
scapegoat role to restore

prime of life build when five foot ten
obviously me no Lemuel Gulliver
alignment could now perchance nab
first place in a slick couture magazine
from the neck down,
cuz face mottled with
nine inch nails clawing skin
wrought unsightly scab
taut torso bearing
fashion model and
senior citizen idol, where
every place I go receiving
venue offers free tab.

To stand stock still until shutterfly
would SnapChat
rippled tummy, could
fill my hungry wallet with inxs of cash
now, aye haint so gorge ***,
WhatsApp with
faux pregnant protuberance,
though thankfully
derriere still rather dash
shing, which palmolive pilot sized buttocks

doth newt offset sorry to report
lost battle of the bulge,
where diet tribes furloughed in a flash
abandoning their respective stations,
gnome hatter sinusoidal
parabolic frontispiece finds me to gnash
my toothless mouth for lack of means
to stave of the depredations
of slump pin proletariat
allowing me a hash

sheesh priceline tag
with hefty weight, acquiescing
this Pillsbury doughboy blivet
to subject himself to the sharp
stings of a cool whip lash
bearing the snap against
raw skin as due process
and supplication for atlas shrug
gin his broad shoulders
at the fountainhead naming me mash
shew Scott in regard to oblate inflation
insulation fiberglass around midsection, and

how ma late mum
(an avid fan of doctor Carleton Fredericks,
who preceded Mehmet Oz), would quash
the love she showered on this sole heir -
resorting to exhaustive palliatives -
even ear rash
shun null gambits,
and as last ditch effort
putting this offspring
on par with an albatross -
vamoose get out with the trash
unless everything (pertaining to
indelible stubborn blubber
comes out at the whoosh she wash
Diet of worms.
A query one respondent
     sent didst seem
tummy tubby sincere, possibly
     channeled by cyber sea men,
via bayou A true Britt, aye esteem,
sans abba ra ca dab invoked
     by the spirit Jim Beam
     unwittingly unleashed theme

for this reason
     one humble rhyme
     stir, Me doth write,
     boot promise NOT TO SCREAM
for convenient idea
     to expound ream
(room) minute eight ting,
     about mine previous poem

     "Sleep Inducing Powers...
     Computer Screen"
     smote an idea,
     I could never outdream,
no need to search,

      cuz renown unknwn fan gave
     rise to his nonmainstream
re: "By the way, Matthew,
     "How do you like
     your Lenovo computer?"

Perhaps understandably
     concluded the whole green
kit and caboodle
     tubby a stand alone lean
(and few an proud) machine
sprung from Apple royalty,
     (well linkedin to
     a stevedore jobber seam

ming lee on same playing
     field as a queen
(comprising an A-1
     actor/ actress team)
with Ali MacGraw -
     his wife number deux
which thread strays
     **** sitter ably,

     where unsuspecting reader few
ming with for me (easily)
     getting off track -
     tis only hue
man and hoopfully NOT Jew
van aisle attempting to interweave
     more than one
     concept (delicately loo

ping sentence strands),
     where warp, and
     woof no...no...new
NOT for any
    largesse, nor moo
hoof fish hints,
     but singing Giacomo Antonio
     Domenico Michele

     Secondo Maria Poo
shin knee (the above
     very long name, actually
     authentic i.e. "NOT FAKE"
     a stand alone queue
oh...whoa yes..yes...
     yes please shew
tolerance, how elegiac

     these metaphors too
be compared with
     operatic flourishes I view
as vital breathtaking woo
wing chords nsync with Lenovo "sue

do" flatscreen (NOT A COMPUTER)
yet expanded field of you
alphanumeric characters
     in no way resembles Zulu!
Strikes relentlessly thrashing
     (from all points
     encompassing me) assigned
unforgivingly, vehemently,
     witheringly, blind
ding figurative sight, then
    I finally craft a title,
then subsequent lines

     of poem (or prose) defined
incumbent to pay
     proper obeisance deigned
then once a thread bare
     theme more or less defined
unleashing skein of thoughts,
     (that barrel thru
     muss hike key)

     utterly entangled,
     enthralled and entwined
rather then panic, a series
     of deep breaths
     decompresses,
     deemphasizes, and diminishes
a near futile attempt (thwarting captivity,
     futility, and impossibility) to find

even just a faint coalescence,
     essence, and furtherance
     pitting ma small nose
     to the metaphorical grind
stone calmly try
     to temper onslaught
     of tsunami like brain storm,
     yet no matter

     how fast fingers type,
     a sinking sensation,
     sans pursuit to process
     this tidal wave sets me
     further be hind,
this faux
cat and mouse game,
     which forces bust

ting thru out this scribe
     demand to answer himself
     with minor expletive,
     viz cheeses crust
why the ƒ¨ç˚ must
     this doggone eventual dust,
when staking claim
     on literary fame and fortune

     will no doubt entrust
yours truly to pauper's grave
     (if lucky enough
     to garner gofundme monies
or not bother, and consign
     any viable anatomical
     parts of this
     well kept body fussed

over with copacetic delight,
     holistic insight, and magic night,
     where a strong gust
of wind doth suffuse dreamy state
permeating mine subconscious,
     where inexplicable

     exemplifications doth leap
and prance, while aye
      obliviously repose in deep sleep,
which may be the condition
     of an unsuspecting reader,
     whether an generic
     guy or...a Veep.
180 · Nov 2018
Husband For Sale
(tongue in cheek
by this moldering geek.)

Thy marriage doth incurably ail,
even strangers would vouchsafe
     (with nary any cavil),
     and perhaps even avail
herself (sight unseen),
     with a moderate chance
     zee spouse might bewail
this bread crumb

     winner, chauffeur,
     bill payer latching
     on to mine tattered coattail
in an effort to
     sustain this misery loves
     company wedded
     harrowed distress,
     where future prospect

     appears dim (sum) mutt
     unlikely to curtail or halt
     this (mine button nose to the
     grind stone) pennilessness
     only promises inevitable derail
ment, since grow
     wing unflattering pessimism
     only harkens more (spiraling

     down rabbit hole re: abysmal)
     substantial hardship
     (possibly even homelessness),
     asper my remaining lifetime
     woeful struggle - as sigh exhale
before figuring out what to write
     for these ensuing
     lines, yet strongly anticipating zero

     lucky search for a female,
if this mister didst
     decouple from his caboose -
     whereat Abby Robin (the missus)
     will holler "VAMOOSE"
     as an opportunity to exit
     clear and present danger field
pinning optimism for a gal,

     who exhibits ambition,
     earns her own income
     (or per slim or fat chance
     might be independently wealthy),
     plus bing hearty and hale,
this chap communicates
     no outlandish fanciful
     general electric sponsored idea,

     which elaborate or general sketch
     for some ideal counterpart
     might immediately impale
any likelihood on
     a figurative crucifixion
hmm...maybe turning
     to a life of crime,
     and befriending a foul mouthed,

     heavily pierced, and
     tattooed in jail
professing pseudonymous party privy
     to access Swiss Bank accounts
     own much moolah - kale
as said in the narco
     world wide webbed trade,
     thus such laundered legal tender,

     would clearly evince
     natural "green thumb" talent
     in tandem with sharp (as a hawk)
     business acumen spiriting over
     financially choppy waters
     as doth a lugsail
with this aging
     baby boomer male

he generally steers
     toward straight and true
     analogous to an ace
     carpenter blindly hammering
     the head of a nail

pounding out frustration unsure
     if asking price over-scale
regarding negligible
     demand for preowned,
     housebroken, and domesticated fellow,
     whose demeanor pastorale.
Papa unexpectedly overtaken with woe
flashback shook me complex edifice
head, shoulder, knees in to toe
quietly processing silent film status quo
shant upended jollity
between when a little girl no
matter mine nonconformist
mien unconditionally accepted,

ye dear daughter(s) don't know
sudden onset of anguish **... **... **
holiday cavorting accentuated as
charade, facade, masquerade fueling ego
particularly Santa with the Misses,
and her sharp claws
keeping warm while
temperature five below.

No matter most every detail
I accurately gauge to attest
your life bustling
chock full o' zest
withheld, no doubt emotions
smolder within your chest

and kudos to thee lovely offspring
(both) packed bags
and headed out west
twas honorable duty, though now...
papa feels like
an unwanted guest
thee survived, albeit psyche bruised,

undergoing the electric
kool aid acid test
laughter when playing
Mancala, Uno, Sorry, et cetera,
how dada predictably did jest
when table turned,
I (spoiler alert)

willingly, lovingly, and blithely
lost desire to win quest
to dispose cards, game
pieces, and/or glass beads
invariably other occasions
ye long since left (as thee must)
me and mother with an empty nest.

Nothing more doth
Matthew Scott ask or desire
then to delight and bask
as well educated hire
swimmingly how thee
learned to acquire

confidence and multitasking,
while I trod thru much
psychological muck mire
oft times (like now)
experiencing financial straits dire,

linkedin to when only youngster fire
within me belly to joie de vivre
peter out and prematurely expire
and yours truly reckons nothing
can change the past aghast being

deprived a marshmallow
at long ago time sharing campfire
with shortcomings scalding,
killing, crimping relationship,
doth now conclude another poetic wire.
Ides simply referred to first new moon,
which usually fell between
the thirteenth and fifteenth day
of a given month.

Smithsonian Magazine history buff
Tom A. Frail
posted March 4, 2010 issue
url = https://www.smithsonianmag.com/
history/top-ten-reasons-to-beware-
the-ides-of-march-8664107/
top ten reasons to
beware the ides of march.

The following events all occurred
fifteenth of March
across span of millenniums.

One: Assassination of fifty five year old
Julius Caesar, 44 Before Common Era
Two thousand and sixty six years ago
conspirators led by Marcus Junius Brutus
stab dictator-for-life Julius Caesar
to death before the Roman senate.

Two: A Raid on Southern England,
1360 Anno Domini.
A French raiding party begins
a 48-hour spree of ****, pillage and ******
in southern England.

King Edward III interrupts
his own pillaging spree in France
to launch reprisals,
writes historian Barbara Tuchman,
“on discovering that the French
could act as viciously in his realm
as the English did in France.”

Three: Samoan Cyclone, 1889
A cyclone wrecks six warships—
three U.S., three German—
in the harbor at Apia, Samoa,
leaving more than 200 sailors dead.

(On the other hand,
the ships represented
each nation’s show of force
in a competition to see
who would annex Samoan islands;
the disaster averted a likely war.)

Four: Czar Nicholas II
abdicates his throne, 1917
Czar Nicholas II of Russia
signs his abdication papers,
ending a 304-year-old royal dynasty
and ushering in Bolshevik rule.

He and his family taken captive
and, in July 1918, executed
before a firing squad.

Five: Germany Occupies Czechoslovakia, 1939
Just six months after
Czechoslovak leaders ceded Sudetenland,
**** troops seize provinces
of Bohemia and Moravia,
effectively wiping Czechoslovakia
off the map.

Six: A Deadly Blizzard
on the Great Plains, 1941
A Saturday-night blizzard
strikes northern Great Plains,
leaving at least 60 people dead
in North Dakota and Minnesota
and six more
in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

A light evening snow
did not deter people from going out—
“after all, Saturday night
meant time for socializing,”
Diane Boit of Hendrum, Minnesota,
would recall—but “suddenly
the wind switched,
and a rumbling sound
could be heard as
60 mile-an-hour winds
swept down out of the north.”

Seven: World Record Rainfall, 1952
Rain falls on Indian Ocean island
of La Réunion—and keeps falling,
hard enough to register world’s
most voluminous 24-hour rainfall: 73.62 inches.

Eight: CBS Cancels
the “Ed Sullivan Show,” 1971
Word leaks that CBS-TV  
cancelled “The Ed Sullivan Show”
after 23 years on the network,
which also dumped Red Skelton
and Jackie Gleason
in the preceding month.

A generation mourns.

Nine: Disappearing Ozone Layer, 1988
NASA reports the ozone layer
over Northern Hemisphere  
depleted three times faster than predicted.

Ten: A New Global Health Scare, 2003
After accumulating reports
of a mysterious respiratory disease
afflicting patients and healthcare workers
in China, Vietnam, Hong Kong,
Singapore and Canada,
the World Health Organization
issues a heightened global health alert.

The disease became famous
under the acronym SARS
(for Sudden Acute Respiratory Syndrome).

elemental forces of style at large
which indiscriminate merciless whims extant
ask Homer Simpson or Marge
g'head and even tap
a local, county, or state Sarge

gent on the shoulder, cuz
he or she would moost likely agree
that this Month predicated
on The Gregorian calendar me
didst axe Mister Google,
(who **** courtesy enough prithee)
to validate premise about
when Time Construct came a boot re:

(named after Pope Gregory XIII, who
introduced it in October fifteen eighty two)
from that date to present,
the most widely ant queue
test used civil calendar,
and when brand new
(involved approximately
0.002% correction knew
this margin of error in length
of Julian calendar year) allowing hue

man accurate measurement passage
as days, weeks, months...elapsed
unimportant to the average Joe,
(not quite five hundred years ago)
returning home on his emu
no matter the gender named Matthew

cuz this flightless fast-running bird dinned,
poe whit lorry yet (wannabe)
nose tubby directed related door sill finned
dog gone harassed primate hoo haint sinned
graced with surname Harris,
and gladly boasts being full of wind

which trivia finds this barred bard
(as iz his usual wont
i.e. digress sing
from primary col lord thread)

from initial intent, vis a vis,
how all life forms stretching
within the bounds of quisling
to an affable, convivial, and filial King
Crimson (reddit in the face),
yet knew everything like kin ace
that comprised tome base
comprise zing knowledge
booking (to chase
winter blues) at getaway
gracefully at Bedrock Cave
with proprietors of said place
Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone
offered ample space
to discuss preparations to cope
with onset of infrequent roaring blizzard
(via ominous clouds that didst trace)

plus minimizing setbacks affecting
the then most advanced stone age
during wrathful outbursts from beige
flesh toned gabbing Goddess,
whose gentle giantess goodness,
one could gauge
which genteel manners evident
also asper her page
gave inside information,
how to batten down hatches
while tethered like a puppet
on the then much younger global stage.
Tree mend us sappy weird
human interest stories rarely appeared
back in the day online, whereas
    at present (the toasted,
digitally papered, and lacquered
drab heron nah owl pablum),
     not spared, but repeated,
     a bajillion times showcased

finds me clicking past beard
did and bared naked ladies
     (and/or men), paired
with nauseatingly, predictably,
     and repeatedly, those
     bland posts, veered
as popular cult
     chore, which someone

     deemed apropos as
     pulp yule har audience -
this main poetic thread spun
     repeatedly woven into infrared
weave as the warp and weave,
     (these vapid) re:hash tagged,
      intruded, interfered,
     and invaded celebrities,

     and/or ordinary folks privacy
     yawping (usually bacon
     stripped clean away
     with specific prime information
     such as dates, names, and
     times of tragicomic event),
     which dramatic mysteries,
     finds me laughably,

     insignificantly, and feebly scared
to the bones with suspense,
     at present, these
     days of our lives
     showering unthinking viewers
     (watching "FAKE" dark shadows
     from the edge of night
     as the world turns) with

     exposes (x pose hays),
     where particularly young kids
     get reared, nursed, and juiced
with whodunit crime
     (candle lee boxed and beribboned
     just in tim bur for the holidays)
     staid insipid blurbs get overly aired
at least on America Online,

this above contrasted and compared
to he/she whomever chaired
helm at formerly mentioned
     once upon a time (wonderful
     Internet Service Provider
     exceptionally renown -
     me own acronym
     WHISPER down the ally

     long ague mooch mo' CRISPR)
     cyber sea internet
     provider years ago,
     than many similar competing
     companies to access
     electronic details, cuz
     (I subscribed to AOL for
     many years), thence declared

tummy, (yours truly i.e. me)
     ranked as topnotch significant
     venerated news coverage geared
to concerned citizens such
     as this scribe, (many years ago),
     at present receive less high marks
     given so these days,
     despite decades long patronage

     (from this long gush haired
poor lee aging leaden
     pencil necked geek),
     who vaguely recalls
     greater in depth coverage
     concerning vital headlines
     well prepared on the homepage,
     which whomever (at that time)

     selected "stories" dared
to acknowledge a gamut of
     critical global events
     incorporating controversial
     themes paired
with lighter fare (for web surfers
     less interested in socio-
     political, national, environmental,

     et cetera coverage),
     said Internet Provider
     broadcast more roundly squared
information versus, the present

     eagle lit tarry rhea
     hen superficial twittering,
     which electronic webpage
designers believe more important.
should Trump swindle electorate by hook or crook,
(1003 days, 9 hours, and
32 minutes until 2024 election),
yours truly steels, girds, braces... himself,
and plots serious outlook
pondering exiting United States
(stage door left)
while streaming media services
bridging, fording, navigating...
modus operandi to brook

potential violent political malevolent maelstrom
in the offing since... Revolutionary War
finds nonestablishmentarian comfortably numb
currently sequestered within apartment unit b44.

Maybe good samaritan
would sponsor me
(affable wordsmith afflicted with anxiety)
and the loving wife,
I can imagine emigrating to the
second largest country in the world
on par with dying and being reborn
into idyllic and Edenic afterlife.

Lifelong Pennsylvania opportunistic resident
desirous to move away from capitalistic bust
mein kampf, a miserable existence
peppered, pockmarked, punctuated...
with adversity - subtracting instances
being exponentially nonplussed,
(which lifelong mental health
analogous to psychological rust)
leaves mine lovely bones in dog I trust

eventually repurposed into ash
(since I will choose cremation)
an increasing eco-friendly choice,
cuz burial with casket and tombstone clash
with holistic humble paradigm,
but before transitioning into lifeless body,
an impetuous notion arises, a flash
in the pan far fetched whim
to craft reasonable rhyme

communicating intent to live abroad
amidst one of ten provinces
and three territories
constituting Canadian federation,
which genuine motive not emblematic
of huckster nor fraud,
nevertheless one run of the mill
garden variety **** sapien flawed
yet he aims to dwell with citizens who applaud

voluntary simplicity likened and linkedin
belonging and hallmark characteristics
kickstarted intentional community,
where self sufficiency touted,
and physical labor de rigueur,
which lifestyle change
would rank as welcome adjustment
versus housed within Highland Manor
a quite reasonable single bedroom facility
yet devoid of stimulation
enervating body, mind spirit triage

of one ordinary human
who finds himself a mystery
within terrestrial firmament
and frequently feels in a feverish pitch
as tempus fugit whips
him around the sun
at a furious dizzying speed,
while he tenuously grips
with blistered hands
gripping sharp outcropping,
meanwhile his spindle shank legs splayed
and sprawled haphazardly across
the bombed out war zone.

Rather than get further
bogged down with inane zeal
I best steer clear of further poetic poppycock
courtesy imaginary wheel,
thus the following pablum I unveil
nsync with titled malady all to real,
which plight involves hyperhidrosis
quite a debilitating ordeal,

especially when thinking
to pursue gainful employment
emphatically steadfast
and honest think (me) leal
course this humble communicates
(hyperbolically) embodiment ideal
if seeking to gain insight how I feel
about myself, a tense body
inept to cartwheel.
178 · Jul 2018
Perks At Highland Manor
I, (and the missus)
     pleased as punch residing
     at this Schwenksville, Pennsylvania locale,
     (since july first tooth house

     sand eighteen), marks one year
and better with (on site
     service) wash and wear,
but most irrefutable attraction

     comprises rental assistance,
     when upon the merry month of May
     first, the dollar figure outlay
     to occupy a single bedroom

     (at this low cost
     housing facility) didst veer
dramatically downward
     from an initial charge,

     sans five hundred, and seventy two unswear
     able legal tenderloin monies,
     per twelfth of Gregorian Calendar,
     when aye didst tear

away the page signaling June,
     thine checking account reduced sheer
     lee no misprint (to win unbelievably
     rosy, piddly, and giddy)

     one hundred and seventy
     seven buck a roos,
yet lesser benefits appended, asper
     this bucolic, diatonic,

     and harmonic rear
opportunity to espy
     white tailed non queer
yule less doe ting mama

     belonging to Cervidae family app pear
ring to take shelter in a narrow
     (sunset) strip somewhat near
enough from mine

     inside perch oblivious
     to this mad capped (Alfred E. Neuman),
who **** stumping for elections midyear
essentially to reinstate

     "FAKE" King Crimson Lear
on the throne,
     who strongly objects to killdeer
for eats or sport,

     and silences those hood jeer
his reverence toward gentle creatures
     including near extinct albino blushing zebra,
     hooves warp and weave interlinear

within said (postage size
     token) plot here ~ 1+ hectare
secluded upon a tract
     off the beaten commercial

     domain and glare
with suburban sprawl,
     a hop, skip and jump fair
lee quickly disappearing

     "in the name of progress"
though vanishing wild
     life eyes find endear
ring, though thine psyche

     wracked with despair
no matter ample (spacious
     free) parking, a clear
bonus as well un

     limited water usage
and to top off the list donated
up for grabs non-sellable (stales) breads,
     cakes, fruits, vegetables
     about twice a week doth appear.
lives among this nebbish atheist of Jewish ancestry

Tongue in cheek Yiddish
humor to playfully scold
often time sounds
like a compliment
yours truly, (a run
of the mill Shlimazel) behold

only knows a smidgen,
yet grew up within household
where foter and muter
kibitzing did unwittingly mold
their second born
and modest chutzpah
regarding only son undersold.

Though at times
he earned appellation schmuck
just ask the misses -
yea that yuck a puck
she will be more
than willing to chuck
**** with delight rattling
off with aplomb and pluck
I eagerly attest with

veracity that she blurts "ƒµ©*
you a$$hole," her
glib endearment -- yuck,
which does wonders
to spark romance
no surprise, yours truly
rather be struck
with self driving
******* self driving motortruck.

Aforementioned language
used by Jews no longer lost
in central and eastern
Europe before Holocaust
originally German dialect

with words tossed
from Hebrew and several
modern languages jost
today spoken mainly
in US, Israel, and Russia.

More so acuity, affinity,
and avidity of late
growing interest doth
not seem to abate,
hence I could rattle

off voluminous spiel
megillah but best abbreviate,
otherwise which followers
might suddenly abominate,
thus this son mentsh chin hubble
meshugener wordsmith

best accommodate
preferred brevity lest
he doth accumulate
a slew of gentile enemies,
apt to annotate
unsolicited comments
their choice lingua franca

pointedly, happily, decisively,
and brazenly annunciate
and cheekily crow
kush meyn tukhes
in Macy's window.

Analogous to most
every previous poetic theme
I set low standards on par
with Bupkis, you probably deem
that comparison over the top,

hence please choose a meme
most apropos even extreme
expletive epithets or... dream
up fictitious, (albeit "fake")
that one day maybe come supreme.
178 · Dec 2018
Shari Todd Harris-Dunning
No acknowledgement could be
commensurate nar e'er
equivalent to countless years (scores of orbitz  
of unexplored wonder) – left...
(with millstones around neck)

to atrophy on severe truncated
limb mitts, now cause
for silent lachrymose as this
brother doth brook a wake

his pained self actualization
(particularly predicated on
decade number six
unavoidably approaching) uptake

analogous to 2001 A Space Odyssey,
when closing scene
of the film - image of embryonic
"Starchild" left a slake

king unshakable reverberation
Also Sprach Zarathustra
echoing in me noggin since
opening soundtrack did quake

of a much younger self, when seeing
the movie did overtake
puzzlement until I read the book
"aha" awareness did make

that minor mystery resolved, and
now childhood's end keepsake
recalled as the time thy vulnerable
psychological state did intake

pelting asteroid storm cratering a boy
who shied away, to forsake
growing up, and now haunted (akin
to ghost of Marley) not "FAKE"

shackled to an un freed spirit, that
got squelched as if a sudden brake
got jammed propelling this then puny
body electric...now doth ache.

Even though days of life lived with
(all my children now grown) ail
ling soul of stifled for want of indulging
in ordinary experiences bewail 
ling deprivation of accomplishing
healthy milestones regret a cold detail

reminding me as aging process speeded
as if an onset of late progeria fail
lings in this once skinny as twig youth,
now thinning hair bothersome - hail
yes (suspected cause underactive thyroid,
blood test will confirm), a jail

unseen by anybody even me finds spontaneity
bound from within this male,
whose counterproductive antics sought
to compensate for lost time did imp pale
and figuratively crucify myself at the
emotional expense of "star student" rail

ling (recent time gone by), thee (to her)
unforgivable hurt, the stuff of a true tale,
this papa does resign himself unintentional
misery untraversable unbridgeable gulf  
the expanse of a yawning Rhode Island
sized Leviathan whale.

oh...thank you for the Trader Joe's gift card
this dirt poor mortal doth leave ye 
with his cumulative loving re:guard
aware hiatus of estrangement (FROM ME) 
the sad story of my life with mom, dad, 
two loving sisters, who tried so hard

to reach out only to be rebuffed, as well 
Abby, Eden, Shana deserving of so 
much more joy...sorry girls dada starred
and created in his own living nightmare - 
alone in a wilderness more bleak than Siberia, 
within a solo battle pierced by my
own Damoclean Sword!
(This atheist imagining, envisioning,
and adopting a religious stance
asper extra-marital prance
sing unsheathing ma lil lance.)

if wand whoosh,
     a mollified Genie could wave
     abracadabra spellbinding mine fate, aye
would rejoice beholding,
     an African Queen to stave
     more precious then
     fine spun gold (for Josephine) to buy

time against tortured Golgotha kepi
     mein kempf wracking fate, thence pave
     ving a stairway to heaven
     after this ivory pawn doth die
cleansing, exorcising, and flushing
     infidelity kindling lover misbehave
     yore (ah Jove) many
     full lush blue moons ago,

     when verboten fruit
     yours truly didst deaf fie
temptation no amount
     renouncing sin spent kneeling, this knave
     scrutinizing engravure etched with blessed
     "Jesus, bare naked Amazon Mary
     and Joseph" motif guy
interweaved by pointed

     finger of Goddess Sheba almighty
     beckoned deft fiat halting joist
     lowered nondescript plain rigid casket
     swallowed by grave
temporally ushered whirled wide
     webbed rebirth where I
received life anew breathless composure
     dousing errant fellow

     guilt honestly iterated, jackanapes
     kneaded licentious maligned narcissistic
     opprobrious philandering questing re: deprave
transgressions, whereat this gentile Jew did lie
     unclothed satisfying prurient crave
ving vitiating marital covenant, now my
     soul asylum anointed, via sedulous, glorious,
    
     and fabulous Nubian enchantress deign nigh
ying celibacy decreeing
     expurgating ****** crave
     ving, hence thy status as Zen eternal
     ****** (corny punster)

     as acceptable punishment bequeathed
     by said deliquescent, iridescent,
     and opalescent dreamt up
     "FAKE" pitch black Negroid hallucination
     from over active imagination
     me didst truly ply.
(alternately titled: jump starter for clunky, *****,
quirky, xyz mechanic wanted in tow tow -
chassis what I mean?)

As the proud graduated
honorably rolled 2009 Hyundai
Sonata vehicular property
belonging to a mister
and missus Matthew Harris
(fifty shades of gray

if that makes any difference),
I experience nervous
rack and pinion quaking
shimmying, whining, and zipping
also twittering, shuttering,
linkedin kickstarting powertrain

even before chugging,
huffing, puffing, spewing...
like magic dragon along boulevard
of broken automotive debris
regarding upcoming
emission/inspection

due before stroke of midnight
August 31st, 2019
last year this time...
aye yie yie...
oil my pan, a major overhaul
comprising driver side suspension

engendered shock,
I...could not absorb
even now, yours truly strut er ers...,
and doth recoil scary undertaking
smattering of months thereafter,
(I wheely cannot engine ear

recalling exact amount of time)
what in the name of... car nation...
then... driver side rear brake assembly
required replacement
giving said owners run off
Golden Gate Bridge for their

newfound moneyless rendered situation
(ex post facto new battery got installed)
sorry to zap at greased lightning speed
and (mane lee) take lion's share
of social security electronic deposit,
(what with fuel tank filler ups,

and insurance - no matter
Nationwide always on my side)
understandable decent folks
would prefer to steer me
off cliff side, but
my dear friend SEPTA

doth not cam into hinterland
namely Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
thus imposing prohibitive dollars
tooling them around
mainly medical appointments,
cuz at ten plus years old,

and odometer clicking away...
mechanical malfunction,
could diesel lee, axle dent tully
risk life and limb,
thus park my exhausted words
this fellow gas guzzling,

motoring, rotating tire
screeching hot rods...
ole clunker auto know,
but hates tappet cob Bosch,
and get cha piston off...,
but tread carefully,
and curry big stick shift.
(earlier this January 18th, 2019 belatedly
to acknowledge my LX birthday.)

Mine eldest sister
as I continue in the circle game
of life, (ye dear Amelie
McGeehan) darling dame
a modestly lofty poem I aim
to dash off (while riding away
high in the sky - belay
ying at Macht shnel blazing
saddles laser optic speed
in a white horse open sleigh),
and plaudits of course

without moment's delay,
your husband Richard,
one hunger re
chap, who wolfed
down his entree
(who introduced me

to fictitious song
titled Richard, Cory),
plus Harris patriarch Boyce aye
aver as gregarious soon tub be
a nonagenarian papa,
also one grand dad dee

glad this sole son did see
our father (thou wart tin...)
maintains sharp mental
a cue witty,
which does not mean he
willoughby immortal

till et tern knit tee
since the gradual
onset of death I bee
leave actually begins at
birth, but whee
ving and bobbing

(like a sponge at sea)
waves each person
closer to thee
cosmic creator, or re:
incarnate tid (three
times a day) tis key

unless otherwise specified
(if questionable issue at stake,
sans not so ease zee
as apple pie with gray vee),
hence power of attorney
in demand, cuz

this brother-hood
generated bupkis, and made prithee
**** fuse, nary a whit,
asper executor signed...
yours True Lee!
177 · Aug 2019
Respite from mortality
Poetry knows no age, as thee Marcia
Abramsohn write (by hand nonetheless,
a long lost art) inlaid with ambidextrous
zealousness impossible to identify,
which hand crafted artistically colorful
epigrammatic ghostly hint emblematic

of former exuberance toward English
Language..., perhaps other once
vibrantly familiar tongues wagging
less as tempus fugit slithers unseen
stealing most cherished, prized, savored...
commodity set to countdown immediately

post parturition, yet blessed for thee
to be gifted your four score plus four
amazingly graceful journeys celebrating
your existence replete with handmaid's
tales chronicling quotidian trials and
tribulations, yet still adept, buoyant,

cogent, diligent, eloquent, fervent,
gallant, hellbent, intent, jimmying,
kindling, loving, mustering, nursing,
outlasting...Methuselah (ha...if only)
lucid moments nudging awake
memorialized occasions, where once

upon a time (seems bajillion years ago)
innocence concomitant with naivete
throve, wherein unfettered dalliances
found untrammeled lasses and lads
absorbed with natural unbridled ******
love whispering sweet nothings strictly

for respective paramour, (this of course
hearsay and speculation) promising each
other moon and stars ah...dusty fading
memories, yours truly can never recount,
(cuz mental illness co-opted, hijacked,
up-ended...adolescent maturation,

whereby agonizing crippling forfeiture jabs
silhouetted illusory oasis peopled with
all the golden opportunities left to wither
on the vine o'mine youth, which mirage
mocks escapist attempt into literary realm
invisible dead poets society regale an

existence bereft (nope, no App could
ever even virtually duplicate (even
approximate) sidelined unrequited love,
and no this marriage yields scant
satisfaction, which fantasy life as
Norwegian bachelor farmer could solve,

where living off the grid could remedy
forever being pennilessness, day late
dollar short dime a dozen dirt poor
dude dulling dufus...that's the news from
my Lake Woebegone...where all the
women...and children above the law
never get reprimanded.
Analogous to mobius strip -
     measured passage of existence
     only took precedence
     with **** sapiens ascendent
busting forth upon
     the figurative pedestal
     presiding over domain,
     sans Earthly covenant

a bajillion ago,
     where fits and starts
     pitted proto humans
     at no immediate advantage,
     yet merely, thru
     dint of accidental
     happenstance ever so
     imperceptibly amassed dominion

     over every other species
     as became evident
throughout the vast sweep of
     anthropological
     evolutionary incidental
plucky perturbations, provocations,
     and/or pullulations arisen by
     spontaneous circumstantial grant

ting quasi consciously
     coalescing into brutish
     deliberated focused intent,
where forethought
     coopted indiscriminate
     chance facilitating kent -
manifested rubber
     baby buggy bumpers

     activated, aggrandized, and
     allotted destiny meant
to lurch incrementally
     i.e. hierarchical designation
     present day primate
     predecessors practiced negligible
     notched nimbleness orchestrated
     (equal parts gall and genetic

     giftedness), whatsapp operant
adaptation toward
     survival rippled quiescent
lee minutely nudging overt salient
traits ineluctably
     manifesting, outflanking,
     and proffering
     quintessential urgent

biological scrim quietly testing,
     and wrestling, whence yen
     (to secure rootedness)
     zeroing what didst warrant
winning formula
     to adapt adroit edge
     pitted by dictates of nature
grappling iron

     grip, viz literal hedge
fund and kickstarting toehold
     upon tenuous ledge
(oft times succumbing to danger)
     falling into abyss
     of anonymity pledge
jing acquired innovative tool
     such as a primitive sledge

hammer instinctively
     resigning animal instinct
     death be not proud not
     before inculcating
     survivalist tactical wedge.
(albeit boyish), I tell myself with pride
always look on the bright toothless side
of life, this nonconformist tried
his darnedest with
threadbare trappings to abide

despite bristling, harumphing,
and lamenting luckless life,
while woe didst ride
shotgun squeezing snotty
schnozzle, nuzzling nose, wide

dilating nostrils coquettishly cozying cold
conical snout splayed alongside
steering column as if silently to chide
yours truly for impoverished states
of body, mind, and spirit hermetically hide

ding, asper necessary manna,
hence, (no eggs add chore ration) I yolked
reining clamps down hard, ultimately dried
existential wellspring, especially averse to risk
rejection, when as supremely

scared boy stifling bittorrent tide
natural animal propensities squelched elide
ding healthy mental, physical
and spiritual development
desperation found future bride

less because stricken with love bug,
versus when pent up vasocongestion vied
hardened male member, which relied
on instinct to seal biological pact
sporting two (now grown) daughters bonafide

birthright genetically patented
each taking their respective stride
toward housing vibrant young women
expanding their comfort zones,
unwittingly forcing this papa to admit he denied
himself obligation to foster maturation

implicit with every species within world wide
web, no chance to rectify the bitterness inside
hence pervasive reference, sans annulment
portraying "FAKE" motif life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness only
experienced, when Alpine for Swiss side!
176 · Nov 2017
Anger
quaffing caustic acidic ale, a prankster did stage
analogous to raging figurative fire of rage
within my belly – riven asper spinal binding
   ripped from every book marked page

caw zing quite an ache – fiercely teas sing
   (the fire cat) curative panaceas sans
   almond sunset, chamomile, osage
tea, yukon try grabbing with all your might,

   even enlisting Strain gauge
   in tandem
   with a bunch of bootlegged banshees
   freed from their cage

as last resort drafting electric eels,
   shocking quite astute
accompanied by
   Jack and the Giant
beanstalk golems to boot

or tiger (perhaps named Tony,
   mean to the bone, but...oh so cute
who dwells in a tony neighborhood),
   swishing  tail (Nike like),

   and held up ala playing the flute
an unseen hellacious, ferocious,
   or outlandishly jowly, egregious beast,
   who expells offal asphyixiating

   from a moon unit sized Glute
yea, I could also allude
   to some Monty Python flying dragon,
   who gives nada hoot,

somehow remotely controlling to ram into ewe,
   these high speed U-Haul trucks
combine all the above scenario,
   aye know really *****
which gagging induces
   the worst instance of reflux
the sum total would,

   only feebly meet Karma
   credit rating as de luxe
   approximate the onset
   of red hot enflamed ducks
(my apologies to PETA, Paul, Luke...),

   they madly flap wings, yawping beaks,
   vis  a vis on par
   with orange iz the new black
   Wu Tang clan iz the new blacj hush
   que clucks clan –
   Whew...only then

   (after lpaying yee a million bucks
please keep on the que tee i.e. hush)
regarding this soupy poetic fabrication
   bravely bursting buttucks amucks,

thus haint wise to mess wit me
lest cha wanna split high knee
a fate worse than death
   with hen whoops ipsy
daisy excuse em moi
   faux zee pas impairment via this Gypsy.
Aye dream of Genie (as a Lad din)
     Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
     keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
     really...a boot nuttin
     butta an overrated allay
zee good for nothing, bay

     sic ****** slob, bray
zing as a ("FAKE") pence heave
     trumpeting (Don Key Oat Tee),
     chutzpah twittering Prez, -
     whom stoop “To **** a Mockingbird”
activate hocus pocus “Go Set NRA
as a Watchman,” yepper, hip pip hooray,
whose **** sitters un mensch hen

     nib bill, one important,
     non binding ***** nilly play
book title, sans how to acquire,
     tousled windswept coiffed soufflé
rooted under sworn confidential heady
testimony (top secret only known
     between POTUS, FLOTUS,
     and hairstylist Tiffany Kaljic)

     helped grow "The Art Of The De..." lay
sham (poo poo) headline kept under ray
dar only "How To Get Ri." Dove lousy
tonsuring service, and how easy
to get Head & Shoulders above fray
dee cats - me owing over petty files

     versus joining gray
vee train via tracking
     "FAKE" ***** footing
     faux Trump wannabes, hence ICE hay
Immediately railroad competition
     viz, against ISIS speck did
Amazon tubby a root cause
thus resorting to

     "Midas Touch: Why...Ent...er
risk to get scalped, when,
     (though periwig poor
     hirsute substitute), I belay
burr the point far y'all
     (get a Fred – Roger over) to hoist
     by one's own petard oye vey,
while channeling das directv gray

gore re: haired (50 shades), and
     direct descendent from Kublai
Khan, a moost deplorable display
     yellowish, venomous, serpent,
     which poisonous scorpion size prey
with deadly fangs straight
     (tinned by orthodontists),
    a perfect set pearl whites in an array

as daggers hissed ("FAKE")
     snaky intergenerational viper, and
     true tomb ice elf flave
     heard like a pampered baby
(nick named Keebler Khan)
     unthinkable alternative
     (forever shunned near and faraway)
if this poetaster doth betray

his (my) devote followers, no matter
     admirably, dutifully, and gracefully
     fulfilling role as sommelier
     replenishing wine goblets
     with vintage chardonnay,
nonetheless reprimanding recalcitrants,
     who opt to breakaway
slamming, shaming, and scathing

     rants against brand name
     Matthew Scott Harris
     finds himself a castaway,
     thus unsure, how to write without delay
An insipid poem to pay
(overtime) homage about Labor Day
prepping mental gears
     glommed together like clay

while cruising at mock speed
     faster then (Tom Hawk)
     along the (Al Gore) rhythm information
     super highway expressway
axe chilly (sh...dont tell a soul
     lest I club burr you -
     ha juiced tees zing),

     yours truly intends
     to play umpteen (close
     to a bajillion) rounds of golf
     on the Harris fairway
Lest a Tony (nay)
boar hood tiger jumps
     out of the woods painfully sinking

sharp teeth into mine flesh for play
     jour quickly making mince
     meat then fillet
mignon before (prestidigitation
     i.e.presto) magically
     regurgitating my self fully intact
     as repurposed slimy trumpeting popinjay.
176 · May 2023
Memorial Day May 29th, 2023
Enshrined for all posterity
mine benediction for reverence,
whereby conflict resolution
ameliorated courtesy peaceable solutions.

An adulation, concatenation, encapsulation,
gratification, introspection, et cetera
encompassing poignant episodes of mein kampf.

Flagrante delict adulterous sordid behavior
automatically linkedin with Lothario;
an unscrupulous seducer of women,
based upon a character
in The Impertinent Curious Man,
a story within a story
in Miguel de Cervantes'
1605 novel, Don Quixote.

Hard to fathom where yours truly
got (seedy – CD) drive and moxie,
after willingly assenting
to pledge sacred marital agreement
courtesy justice of the peace
and Magisterial District Judge:
Henry Schireson
925 Montgomery Avenue,
Suite 100, Narberth, Pennsylvania
19072-1913.

He subsequently and immediately
pronounced myself and the missus
as newlywed groom and bride
freshly minted husband and wife
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
until death do us part.

A couple years later,
we acquired our first computer
then snazzy top of the line
state of the art COMPAQ presario
running on Windows 98 operating system,
a belated wedding anniversary present,
whereat wide-eyed, I quickly disc hoovered
plethora pornographic websites
expending energy and time crafting
which hashtagged electronic ejaculations recognized
now as crude sexually explicit
classified personal advertisements
forsaking welfare of marriage and fatherhood
to mine innocent beautiful two little girls.

I blatantly, egregiously, indiscriminately...
whiled away hours shucking off
essentially grievously ignoring
paternal and husbandly duties
instead prioritizing re: cultivating,
cavorting, frolicking, inviting...
romantic (née dangerous) liaisons.

These days majority of time spent online
constitutes crafting anecdotes of mein kampf,
albeit reflecting categorically imponderable poetry
and/or stream of consciousness prose
veritable anonymous readers
probably roll their eyes
at mine trademark double entendre,
yet bard **** (with shaky spear) knows
how inapropos I consider ogling attractive girls
for instance while grocery shopping
with the missus at Trader Joe's,
nevertheless job of this punster
his wordplay accidentally doth impose
so please pardon moi harmless
momentary lapse of rhymed reason

as mine handy dandy
blue veined ribbed slimy fleshy hose
does double duty in tandem with magic wand,
lifelike snaky entity that actually grows
particularly necessary when
burst of fiery secretion flows
intense spray powerful enough
to pulverize knees and elbows
subsequently witnessing yours truly to doze,
an ideal juncture to figuratively close
silently wailing analogy to Moby ****
regarding how yesterdays
prurient laced introductions
to rhyme in retrospect embarrassingly blows.

Herewith to enliven anecdote ever further,
I inject humorous tidbit
just gimme moment to unload and reach
into psychological metaphorical knapsack
particularly blue slimy hose, my keepsake
to forcibly remove *******
birthed courtesy emergency pit stop
without means and ways to clean derriere,
a feeble and futile attempt.

Haint no fallacy
yours truly subsequently secured
more powerful giant accouterment,
while clinging for dear life
perched atop ledger
or edge er domain of clawfoot bathtub,
(ah how convenient and timely
smallish size Jacuzzi getup to appear)
and lemme figuratively
continue (closing) pathetic riffraff
(apropos of nothing) riffling around
mostly strewn with random tchotchkes
and odd bubba's zayda's knickknack
such as ahh... look here hocked wares,
acquired ready to receive paddywhack
giving dog(gerel) bonafied chops.

Without warning be alert
and on outlook for non sequitur
verses asinine blather to blurt
plus quite juvenile grown man here
averse to ***** thought processes of her/him
who might peruse frivolous inane gibberish
cuz precious effort ye exert
to comprehend written contents
alluding to metaphorical little squirt.

I chose to memorialize, alas and alack
atypical/unusual fond memory -
argh, a sudden nostalgia attack
many... countless years gone back
livingsocial at 324 Level Road,
elapsed good times, I can never buyback
Gambone builders demolished complex edifice
currently repurposed mansion manse courtesy
vinyl city as Stella's Way
boyhood address above,
frequently seen dramatically transformed
into aforementioned place name, which property
originally christened Glen Elm,
(within national registries)
yours truly cannot easily callback.
Noggin houses storied detailed information
though I experience exercise in futility
searching Internet, said webbed wide world
absent information when Leipers lived
circa early nineteen hundreds, though
if mine perchance eyes espied absent estate...
slack jawed stare would repeatedly
sow sadness weighing me heart
heavy as coalsack
accompanying sorrow with

attendant flood of tears,
would make an immediate comeback
impossible mission to stopper
feeble, futile and lame counterattack,
where sentimental reverie would
carry me far away to Old Virginny,
for no particular rhyme nor reason
e'en attempting to write
recollections might trigger
tsunami immanent grievous childhood memories

recollecting watching silent home movies,
while chomping on crackerjack
when I had real teeth,
boot the Missus axed me to enliven herself
regaling humorous instances, thus I cutback
to... hardy ***** times, the major drawback
x amount of time elapsed
summoning special occasions
(surgeon general's warning
such mental revisitations)

fraught with onset, where perilous flashback
will moost likely
violently grip cerebral cortex
analogous to puny chap (me)
knocked unconscious courtesy
searingly robust fullback,
nevertheless impossible mission
to restrain waterworks I intend to hijack,
and hoop fully succeed tamping tears
strong suggestion as encouraged by hunchback

from Notre Dame Dublin
known within these neck of woods
as storied Paul Bunyan
also alias Philanderer,
(especially among superficially
prim and proper, but
actually debauched women folk),
whose services regarding payback
best abide, adhere, and afford
to pay forward credo fore playbook.

Said burly lumberjack with severe scoliosis,
nonetheless quite self evident
his outsize implement,
(ye need not axe further questions)
extinguishing problematic residue
iterated further within mine playful ramble.
insync, especially with Amitiza delivered solid ecstasy

Without shadow of doubt
I feel much relief
though literally pooped out
attested courtesy following
(oft posted poem
written some years ago
in short self plagiarism),
where funhouse mirror

humorously distorts physique
disproportionately skinny or stout
as though plagued
with excess adipose tissue
in reality paunch throughout
abdominal area mine
self evident yours truly
generic guy does not work out.

As of early/mid afternoon
today - November 30th, 2021
I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found me
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony
as if elephant or red (livid with rage)

I've re: created how bull
heaver in fiber ****** his tusk
into lower abdominal area dawn to dusk
ah...voila... hence subsequently
blessed natural laxative,
the magic of Daily Fiber
100% natural psyllium husk
also known as metamucil.

Upon sprinkling two doses powder pack,
which orange flavor sweetened
the missus mishmash pop slop
not aesthetically pleasing major drawback
heavy as a full coalsack
sometimes burned and scorched black
movement came swift, on par how fast
snaky Mister Plumber doth attack
obstructed ***** bowl.

Well now... monumental poetic challenge,
I now craftily abbreviate
(think clogged toilet synonymous with blockage) 
waste matter after days did accumulate
ready to apply corkerasp
regarding ****** blockage to alleviate.

Imagine impossible mission to defecate
which debilitating scenario mine accursed fate
frequently recurring more often as yours truly
i.e. latter day saint Matthew Scott got older
****** affliction compromised me
ordinary easy going demeanor
disallowing, disenabling, and not permitting
me - effecting, emulating, and exhaling
Tony the tiger's catchword grrrrrreat

if queried about my constitution
absolute ecstasy found me
expelling bowel movement
weighing approximately hundredweight
though relieved, nevertheless
the toilet bowl clogged,
correcting historical records
on two accounts despite
causing potential ruckus
disaster buffs may incriminate

nsync notion huge bowel movement
(mine) took down (analogous
voyage to bottom of sea) toto Lusitania
and actually additionally
caused separate incident
complex edifice (think Titanic)
both sturdy ships of state
former rendered
latter purportedly crashing
into iceberg me mate.

------------------------------------------------

Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp

Whenever constipation a pain in the ***
just maneuver this lightweight
metal contrivance made of brass
no matter if anybody
considers this action crass

apply corkscrew motion up the
alimentary canal to remove waste
which most likely will be
thick like petrified paste
stuck deep inside bowels of the
sphincter muscles and solidly encased

causing severe cramps within
lower gastrointestinal tract
inducing one to wince nonstop
from being with ***** matter packed
and no amount of primal groaning
doth loose this hard fact

nor does imagery of freed ****
ease the **** plight
no laughing matter despite how absurd
squeezing does nothing even
applying all inner might

thus necessary to incorporate
unnatural intervention to unclog
****** blockage + uncomfortable bloating
swelling **** the size of a hog
disabling barely any ease to stand let alone jog
yet tis essential per extricating what
feels like one swallow a log
lest epitaph induce impossible eulogy
unless spoken the language of Prague.

Every ounce of effort
required to bend
over gingerly affixing
plunger end of device
to business rear end
best accompanied with close
companion or friend
since ***** deed done dirt
cheap trick will ideally rend
rock solid excrement to roll
and crashing sound send

upon the bathroom floor
possibly inducing seismic
waves less or more
whereby toilet bowl water will pour
over the sides akin to
white caps near sea shore
without doubt making
gluteus maximus extremely sore.
Early in life worthlessness prevailed employ
ying gnawing, infecting thought processes
did more than annoy
rooted, short circuited, and tasered
flickr happiness lived

spontaneous bobbing sponging buoy
clinging to mother's
apron string series
of unfortunate events
conspired to destroy

that extremely introverted
shy locked lad, and somewhat coy
no matter bred from Jewish stock,
his existence he did not enjoy
he knew no more of Semitic heritage,

and for all intents and purposes,
said life devoid of joy,
now late in his life shill
still **** sitter himself a goy.

This corporeal body orbited sun
at woof lee light warp speed,
no mortal can outrun
decades spun ever
faster than speeding bullet

from most high powered gun
or analogous to none
other than miniature whirling dervish
gyroscopic combination dreidel won
dress lee resembling

dicey snake eyes on fire all fun
and games by expert
watergate burglar nixon
argh...burned his legacy
Gerald ford did pardon

can of worms best not open
infamous administration
equally as full of shame
as Trump shenanigans,
he need put in place
rather than blame,

thus someone must tame
perhaps yours truly - not as lame
as presumed, unless ye might be game
eldest sister of mine suggested to aim
site as political activist bandwagon and

thus ineluctably claim
feeling glad to right Dame
Liberty, now a mockery, I exclaim
where land of milk and honey
necessitates more apropos name
oh...of course a
suitable avatar and meme!
A heavy heart this papa doth air
signals necessary pang...
this father must bear
though...with muted pomp
and circumstances I cheer

stunning transformation unbelievable,
sans thee as youngest daughter
doth commensurately commandeer
her life by the figurative horns buck haws
self reliance mandatory to attain

indomitable survival deer
to push comfort zones she
lucked out with genetics
that didst electioneer
despite inherent trepidation and fear,

she (beloved, emboldened,
invincible, et cetera) progeny
acquiring, developing, and
possessing radiant flair,
whose sunny countenance

brilliant blinding glare
akin to an angelic spirit hooh did hare
kin profuse joie de vivre inhere
within hermetically sealed armor,
asper this "FAKE" junketeer,

where parting with bittersweet
sorrow tugs this longhair
dada, smote by whirlwind visit,
and now oppressive pronounced absence
more painful greater than hiatus near

four years ago, when venturing ala pioneer
(with just sixteen orbits
under your Kuiper Belt), ye yearned to rear
up despite congenital
(high functioning autism) diagnosis

you launched unlimited sky rocketeer
initially requiring parental consent
as dreams tease your fancy
over the rainbow somewhere
reverentially obliged, essentially,

dauntlessly and courageously climbing stair
weigh to heaven as thee define
ultimate goal, bon voyage unavoidably tear
ring at this being, unbear
rubble, who helped beget thee, yet...
cannot do otherwise but

abide by law of nature...unfair
for birth parents to experience unbear
hubble sadness, though starkly oh ware
precious offspring must take flight...
argh grievous heartache until...
sands of time mark many a year!
awaiting commercial sponsors to become...
what else...,but hand over fist money makers?
(http://www.holidays-and-
observances.com/february-15.html)

Excess Valentine's surplus sweet treats
and assorted paraphernalia
need not go to waste
said sappy accouterments
can be repurposed

quickly without haste
less pronounced celebrated fetes faced
overwhelming stiff as an arrow baste
in love potion, understandable
no satiny frills laced,
or some other eye catching

emoji, persona, symbol...
awaits deft ploy of marksman/
woman to lift from obscurity,
whose ontological, mythological,
historical...basis replaced
essence mined to the Maximus,

and references to FACTS erased
with brilliance craftily distilling
entrepreneurial finesse aced
to broker psychological seduction,
(albeit subtle) synchronicity braced,
sans free market capitalism crux

linkedin at optimal nexus enterprize prefaced
with salient mania to generate profit raced
to the forefront of popular media
adulterated and of course embraced
by president of United States with
many commercial donning merchandise,

quoting P. T. Barnum,
there's a sucker chased
and born every minute, and
trumpeting how to make

a stack of money
(held together by
toothpicks and paste)
tall as the Taj Mahal,

which occasion aced
with fanfare including
handing out signed "FAKE"
copies of 'The Art Of

The Deal' amazingly graced
on podium along with
candies, gewgaws, tsatskes...
toting, praising, lauding...merits of:

Angelman Syndrome Day
Annoy Squidward Day
(Sponge Bob Square Pants)
International Angelman Day
International Childhood Cancer Awareness Day
Lupercalia
National Caregivers Day -

February 15, 2019
(Third Friday in February)
National Gumdrop Day
National Hippo Day
Nirvana Day – (Buddhist)

Remember the Maine Day
Susan B. Anthony Day
World Information Architecture Day -
February 15, 2019
(Third Friday in February).
175 · Dec 2023
A positive impact on others
Gratitude suffuses me today
at prospect to plumb the depths
of a fledgling friendship
(respecting fidelity to wife)
even one bound
within the parameters of cyberspace,
I feel courtesy your amazing grace
figuratively stitching omnipotent binding
with virtual satin and lace
proceeding cautiously to experience
belonging to human rat race.

Night and day, a thrashing
like an invisible whiptail
surge van hail,
doth swell me *****
excruciatingly, doggedly blackmail
capriciously be-numbingly,
aggravatingly assail
mine conscience in
what paltry pale
capacity of this gamboling male,
I can "pay forward,"

whatever means shale
be moost apropos avail
to offset bewail
ling (internal psyche doth ale
hankering) against utter
lifetime (mine) peppered
with emotional, physical
and social destitution
bereft, viz fail
ling to maximize inspiration
reverberating as vibrant detail

lacking even justa minimum
desire to live
(visa vis no way
discover ring, nope nar even
"FAKE" king minuscule appeasement
of my body, mind,
and spirit triage during)
hell...shove (shelve) aside
such gloriously noble benighted role,
amidst upending folktale
re: King Arthur and His Knights

of the Round Table
futilely searching for holy grail,
where steadfast conviction
emboldens this heart and hale
spirited mindful,
sincere hard drive spurs
(neigh saying horse
sense of mine),
where ambition saddled
to air (dan sing) quailing,
yen propelling (yours truly),

with sincere humanitarian,
(i.e. blood driven)
philanthropic spiritual zeal,
I tried to unveil,
this reasonably rhyming thumbnail
sketch poetically versatile
within this spurious verse despite
any trials undermining travail
rather mine heart felt genuine
motive fueled by impetus
to contribute within e kale

logical, fizzy hollow gee, humanity,
with integrity, magnanimity,
and quality fervency,
while still adept, adroit,
agile, and alert,
(cuz America needs more lerts
to become great again)
ironically steel tougher than
nine inch rusty nails,
duh pleating ability dovetail
to bug (or wug) gee wholesale.

Adieu from Matthew Scott Harris
who tapped out this message
while holed up in his mancave
situated within Southeastern Pennsylvania.
Otherwise titled: Regaling eldest sibling
delineating her sixty third successful orbit
around the sun December first 2021.

About consciousness who can tell
After haploid gametes
able, eager, and ready
to yield eukaryotic (diploid) cell?

What triggers instantaneous
biological, ideological, ontological process,
when microscopic entity
housing protoplasmic substance
future offspring features yet to foretell
said constituent contents
of future embryonic entity
most often equally dispersed
(Siamese births characterizing exception)
after life sustaining material
subsequently doubles, quadruples,
increases eightfold, sixteen fold...
courtesy mitosis
(also known as equational division)
only nine months later will quell?

However lay person or scientist
may explain what appears
as some mysterious phenomena,
each organism also
offers tell tale miracle
when conception occurs.

Particular case in point
regards unsuspecting union
of ova and spermatozoa
~late February/Mid-March 1959
constituting first time parents
Harriet and Boyce Harris
approximately nine months later
after full term pregnancy
about 280 days or 40 weeks
welcoming their beautiful baby daughter,
(the first of three offspring)
named Amelie Beth Harris.

Once upon a time
(said charming lovely little girl
frequently on the lookout
for welfare of her sole brother
me, a frequent scapegoat for bullies
would not countenance
yours truly suffering verbal brickbats,
out the mouths of nasty brutes,
hence as long as she lives)
forever anointed, dubbed, and heralded
from the mindscape of Matthew Scott
mine amazing saving grace,
a divine angel
donning a figurative golden halo.

When this har grown man
a little boy, prepubescent kid
and emerging young adult,
he never recognized the worth
(albeit priceless true value)
regarding his eldest kinfolk

Unbeknownst to him
(i.e id est - me) until quite recently
afflictions he experienced
within these lovely bones of mine
vicariously felt by aforementioned
family member, whose unbounded
emotional sensitivity
coupled with pleasantly
unexpected monetary largesse
represents unsung hero.

Impossible mission to reciprocate
countless occasions said sibling
helped (née rescued) beetle browed
little feet skittering away
property foo fighting beastie boy
who concludes his poem courtesy Google:
Skidamarink a **** a ****,
Skidamarink a doo,
I love you.

Skidamarink a **** a ****,
Skidamarink a doo,
I love you.

I love you in the morning
And in the afternoon,
I love you in the evening
And underneath the moon;
Oh, Skidamarink a **** a ****,
Skidamarink a doo,
I love you!
175 · Sep 2019
Onerous anus complex
Pain in the *** devoid of dreck
inapropos poetic material what the heck
more unbearable than crick in neck
shiver me timbers, I feel like total wreck
the (see) Edmund Fitzgerald, si?.

Spasmodic cramping imposed
automatic rhyming abbreviation
comeuppance (analogous to daggers
stabbing derriere courtesy constipation
far worse fate than death – abdication

among living with grateful dead
dogsend versus moody blue (brown)
mood whereby feeling tetchy abjection
able, ready, and willing abjuration
to forswear, muster, surrender...

in toto habeas corpus abduration
upon terrestrial realm physical ablation
futile effort this atheist to utter ablution,
hence rollout Harris tweed welcome matte
more than willing to forsake livingsocial,

cuz Whatsapp pining abnegation
to cash fish'n chips, kick
the bucket, toss in hat,...
haint nobody gonna
challenge mine abolition

chained, tethered, yoked,...
accursed abomination
straining sphincter muscle
on par birthing abortion
primal raving, moaning, grunting,...

I imagine similar more futile abreaction
women experiencing parturition,
yours truly expressed agonizing vocalization
working himself into quintessential rabid sweat
screaming, threatening, uttering,... *****

regarding failure concerning
waste product expulsion
giving proctologist serious contemplation
pooh poohing derriere cheeky
bowel over abruption

personally legislating
getting behind abrogation
replacing said *** *****
with more reliable never absolution
regarding made in ******, U.S.A, tuckus,

cuz poisonous toxins sting like scorpions
severely crimping ability to sit down absorption
radiating throughout every
cell guaranteeing abstention
against hidebound contract, no

ifs, ands, nor but tucks
whereby mood linkedin
to nihilistic abstraction
particularly as quasi pincers jabbed
like sharp serrated knives acceleration

guaranteed, where *** rapped cheekily
prospective hemorrhoids increased accentuation
pro bono (cher red) ****** stools,
this tetchy, itchy, ******,...
bard declined invitation,
nee I rejected outright asinine acceptation

within bowel running toward toilet trees
squeezing keister exhausting effort in vain
scheduled medical appointment
gave curled lipped grudging acclamation
acquiescing nod toward grim reaper

worth casting die i.e. permanent resolution,
nary one more infinitesimal fraction
of second, could bare witness re: acclimation
or spelling alternate spelling acclimatization
experiencing, idolizing, lurching...,

sought after emetic interaction
with commode preoccupation
nearly twenty four hours
'tween latter part of September eighth
and ninth laxative delivered accommodation

at long last me no longer tortured
relieved, overjoyed, belated...
rear (rare) accreditation
proffered prior to accretion
lest I forcibly axed to join acculturation
of medical anomalies, you better blivet!
got what he wanted at my expense.

Said crack fast talking
hacker and scammer
pulled figurative wool over my eyes
going incognito and speaking a clipped
English mien his disguise.

He appeared (rather sounded) genuine
after yours truly experienced computer snafu
(the Macbook Pro essentially hogtied
courtesy virus that disabled any activity)
even turning the laptop off then on
only wrought frustration to boot.

An out of state Apple computer
technical support person impersonator
(imposter invariably linkedin
to aforementioned fraudster -
most likely brother in arms)
answered telephone number
provided on the screen.

Admonitions against sharing details
about case in point, whereby cyberpunk
donned many hats to convince me
serious computer virus,
malware, trojan horse, et cetera
counterbalanced with voice on other end
affecting sedulousness to "listen carefully"
and carry forth the following commands.

Yours truly trustingly,
passively, meekly, et cetera
(though feeling jittery)
carried out the repeated instructions,
which charlatan inveighed against
speaking softly (in retrospect,
I ought to have carried a big stick),
indicating (as if held at gunpoint)
to headout off to the Trappe branch
of Citizens Banks and withdraw cash
all the while recording verbal dialogue
with small, medium at large criminal
(the scam artist(s) in question).

Upon retrieving legal tender
(quite a ***), thee next entrapment
entailed driving to closest ATM machine,
an MP gas station/convenience store
in Collegeville to convert
high denomination bills
(a considerable number
of money crisp Benjamins)
into bitcoin cryptocurrency
then hightailing back to where I live,
an assisted living facility
named Highland Manor.

Finally, the schmegegge script
(incorporating ejaculations that
questionable hacker convinced me
to swallow hook, line and sinker)
alluded to strong likelihood
scam artist lurked in close proximity
to above named banking institution,
which divine comedy bumbling
Ace of spades, an inept card shark
anagram name Meg Found
left as crypto clue told.
174 · Nov 2018
1148 Greentree Lane
Circa: 23rd of Tevet, 5760
     to 15th of Tevet, 5770
     in accordance
     with Hebrew date
(converted, asper Gregorian
     Calendar) courtesy of Google,
     which place of residence i.e.

tract 1950's) housing Penn
     Valley, Pennsylvania,
     I did execrate
essentially promised tubby our,
     (sans myself, missus
     and deux daughters),
     wrought abysmal fate,
where surviving members

     of spouse's birth family
     did supremely succeed in create
ting a hellacious,
     malicious, and pernicious
     living space oft times,
     (when we broke
     our daily bread) during
first decade of

     second millennium
Anno Domini worse fate
regarding ****** living social state
inviting longing tubby grate
fully dead, though premature
     demise would terminate
opportunity of experiencing quasi
     death row time,

     I would hate
tough missed bing
    cherry lee and pit
     tuff fully accused
     co-opting tenure
     as an ingrate
as perceived by in-laws,
     nieces, and nephews,

     who would not tolerate
my mental illness (schizoid
     personality disorder
     with ample helping of
     high anxiety, and panic attacks),
     **** sitter ring excruciating
     difficulty maintaining employment
     as reason to denigrate

pushing this struggling
     young family to absquatulate,
especially as figurative toxic
     barbs didst accelerate
soon after, we sit foot
     upon cluttered premises, jam packed,
     which haphazardly (helter
     skelter like) didst accumulate

with generations of trappings coagulate
ting heirlooms, hence
     presenting impossible
     mission to accommodate
the Harris kith (steeped amidst,
     a hoarder's paradise),
     elusively east of Eden
teasing chronic pennilessness,

     (mine lifetime theme) aggravate
ting this humble fellow,
     whose person others
     found an easy
     scapegoat to humiliate
marrying into a blood
     of bigoted, pigheaded,
     and small minded obdurate

folks intolerant
     of every creed dance
except frum Israel,
     and/or an affiliate,
this un men sheen hubble,
     and purported "moocher,"
     meme kickstarter husband
     quickly hashtagged to appropriate

accommodations never cared
     to earn good graces
     of MainLine
     rich Jewish culture,
     this atheist among hoi polloi,
     a roll (i.e. challah),
     he could never assimilate.
Mine excel leant
     powerfully pointed
     nonestablishmentarian
     outlook accesses
     prolix laced threads, whereat
     aye weave with zeal
spinning, sans metaphorical
     loom min esse

     cent invisible wheel
finagling, incorporating, and lurching
     sesquipedalian ward webbing,
     sans existential warp and weft
     asthma trademark seal
begetting poetic offspring
     for no rhyme, nor
     reason and less real

than an actual progeny,
     (das papa percolates,
     per predilection toward prolix)
     as poor substitute
     to apply seminal seal
if only...grace with
     a younger fecund wife,
     where becoming

     pregnant would ap peal
and be chronologically viable
plus said mother
     hood ambition would,
     (asper this
     hypothetical scenario)
     might warrant me to inculcate,
     and if necessary

     take a knee to kneel
yet stopping short
     of any Machiavellian
     (cut throat...er rather
     umbilical cord) tactics to activate
     no explanation why
     hankering to create
additional "NO FAKE"

     fallacy aye in inflate
cuz, nothing compares
     to sire (with love)
     heir or Harris heiress,
     and coveting father hood again
     a son or daughter
     even though pushing late
fifties, which age finds me

     to instagram, shutterfly,
     or snapchat with disbelief
aware that divulgence to experience
     such poignant pang mate
be attributed to absence
     of mine deux darling daughters
ah...juiced a small
     pipe (petty filed)

     whet dream wracking ma pate
no great expectations
     by **** ends
     for any physically
     intimate tete a tete

thus assimilate call
     of the wild crafting writings
     with my huff firm mitt heave
     gen till **** that doth undulate.
headland harbored primitive biota abut
mint for exotic sole terrain sustaining
sole terrain sustaining seeds, spores, spermatozoa, ova
   seeds, spores, spermatozoa, ova , et cetera gut
preserved within mine follicular pores, sans
I secured per woof and meow wing
   warp organic matter

   heir in to fore shielded from elements
   akin to thatched hut
aware wrenching kamikaze eradication
   of countless critters from many Godaddy longlegs;
   creepy crawlers, hops scotching,
   shimmying with schmaltz, moon walks, et cetera
   lost when germ warfare obliterated vast majority
   since advent of civilization

   ordained Proletariat and Plebeian Primate  
   (cherishing, fostering, insulating bon mot
   infinitesimal dot re: future mutt)
dogs and also cats off limits
   asper demise of other creatures
   decimated – tut tut

atop thine noggin housed (within thimble size nut)
rare and near extinct flora and fauna, what
species of plants and animals,
   whose preserve comprised
   equivalent of indigenous village people
   huddling within microscopic yut.

Thus, this bipedal simian angst riddled at experiences
   forced at figurative crossroad
when itching scalping a dead giveaway clue
   to lather up hirsute growing via bald faced code
at further expense invisible life forms
   such action would erode

fast dwindled diversity, hegemony, longevity
   i.e. population except **** Sapiens
   who didst goad
forefingers needed to massage and scrub thine scalp
   as like a field getting hoed

sometimes applying solely cold water **** to un load
a healthy plethora, where
   gushing shower head would send them
down the drain perhaps displacing their meal times,
   or feasting on louse see pie ala mode
aware that survival odds regarding
   getting thru water treatment plant,
   premonition aye node

and greater chance to avert
   total mortal kombat avoided
   if I trekked to Antarctic anti pode
so...similar to other occasions necessitating me
   to lather 50 shades of gray –

   as if subjected to being snowed
quite aware many people
   would avoid me like the plague
(which reaction eagerly embraced) if knotty,
   oily, straggly natural headresss
hence, this outlier surrendered and got gently toad
value of hygience – and lost as
   playing tictactoe x/oed.
hygiene fanaticism daily
studious skinny scruffy scribe

My utmost humblest apology
for inducing the following
cerebral calisthenics upon your cranium,
but the cost of friendship
with yours truly
(me – a foo fighting,
eagle eyed, beatle browed, beastie boy  
christened Matthew Scott Harris)
doth newt come
like some hootie and the blowfish
super tramping
cheap trick linkedin to
wings at the reo speed wagon
spinning zz top soundcloud.

Scathing, scolding, screaming,
scorning, searing, sniggering,
sociopathic sarin soaked skewed
squirt, sputtering, squawking, sleepily
staggering, stabbing, swaggering
sweltering sadistic, sarcastic,

savage, systemically systematically
stigmatized, supersized saber sharp
schick shaving, shunned, sabotaged,
scarred, scorched, smote, sanguine,
stippled, speckled schizophrenic
sensibility, spurring, seething,

somewhat stultified, sophisticated,
spellbound spirited scabrous
schlemiel schlemazel, stenciled,
sundered sniveling sanguine storied
snakebitten sojourning *******,
skeptical shoddy sophomoric

screwball, subtly sagacious,
stunted, sclerotic, scrappily
shuffling short, Shylock
styled sideburns Semite,
sainted Shasta sipping
shriveled sad sack,

sullenly syncopated, synthesized,
slobbering sybaritic, scruffy
sheepish sketchy scalawag,
Socratically scrutinizing, seizure
stricken, stoically sneezing,
shamed Skidrow skeezer, shifty,

sweaty, sham shaman,
supremely spidery, schmaltzy,
sylan seeking subsidized succor,
self shuttered, sequestered,
sidelined, shiftless, shabby,
semantically snazzy, soldiering,

shrieking, skulking, somber,
stooping, Segway scootering,
schmart spendthrift, Swahili
speaking, straitlaced, streamlined,
spongebobbing, sandal shod
sealegs, squarepants sporting

spectacles, sedate, sensate,
sentient, ship shaped,
shanghaied, salubrious,
slithering, snakish, stuttering,
sluggish, smashface scarred,
sober, solitary, sangfroid

skidamarink singing, Shamokin
speaking scrivener, scuzzy,
spunky, starved, submissively
suicidal, sunburned,
salaried shuffling senescent
snoutish soundcloud shutterflying
snapchatting schnorrer.
Found me raised
     in the Antebellum South
     born an academically gifted
     whip smart, (and any other
     apropos) above average adage
smart son with a
     healthy dose of Melanin and Melania
     donned and trump petted

     asper a proud black is beautiful,
     sans ebony badge,
whereat me instrumental mama and pop
     acquired grudging cunning
     insinuation to cadge
teaching material convincingly
     claiming lofty aim
intent to instruct

     slave master's children
     all to eager to accept blame,
when any vicious rumor
got afoot with "FAKE" claim
that lessons did
     critique and declaim
antithetical quasi Aryan racial superior
     viewpoints (preceding Adolf ******

     by about a century),
     knowingly could enflame
status quo, which feigned
     "playing dumb" duh -
     faux blockhead frame
(wha ya mean *****) game
at very bedrock foundation
     pre politically correct cursor meme

lee complex edifice
     slave owning name
     acutely aware intent esse chew
wing such societally
     radical implications, to due
tee fully fortuitously, gradually,
     and hopefully, un glue,
(especially via schooling impressionable

     young African American
     or other ebony hue
shaded skin with Jew
whoosh propositions of equality)
righteous precepts nullifying lou
duck criss bastardizing American moo

nuff phish witch hunts (sea thing),
     a gimcrackery, mockery,
     and travesty poo
poo wing credo, ethos,
     highlights, et cetera sow
wing equality, harmony, and liberty in tow.
Minus adverse side effects
courtesy Ropinirole HCL
couple nights I did try,
albeit yours truly wanted to die,
plus also yearned tubby
among grrrrrreat full dead, no lie,

yes absent asthenia, fatigue,
and/or malaise oh my
nausea, vomiting, somnolence, dizziness,
and asthenic condition,
I woefully did decry
unconsciously kicking,

thrashing, twitching, wife kvetching
downing aforementioned medication
found me awry
beseeching psalm body
e'en the Sultan of Brunei
or sovereign from Abu Dhabi

to administer euthanasia,
I would willingly rectify
to bid good riddance and goodbye
experiencing said unpleasant reactions
listed above, hence death wish
of mine to comply

expressed modus operandi doth underlie
trawling the net whereby, to crucify
rigging (leg giddy met) i.e. legitimate
gofundme site could justify
assisted suicide recycling, reimbursing
repurposing... biodegradable cross -

guaranteeing faithful ethics to fortify
upon me rising masses will deify
an imperfectly square profane guy
skeptic at heart, unsure soul will go skyhigh,
or descend into Dante's inferno,
hmm... methinks hot meal my

olfactory ***** doth nasally espy
summat good cooking, therefore aye
got hearty appetite unbearable symptoms
amazingly relieved, that scare did mortify,
now get secular humanist off doggone †
lest he gets cross and promises to nullify

future aery missions...
sidelining death, viz abort... fail... retry
else fans ye will need to pacify,
and posthumous rock star status
martyr on your stained hands
leaving widow whose syrup prize

zing tears unceasingly cry
without spouse to henpeck,
she cannot deny
cuz, body (mine), saintly
nicked peep pulled, tattooed
with apostolic marks
sharp nib she did apply.
173 · Mar 2018
Doing Right By Doing Good
Since birth and every
     subsequent growing up year
until earth around sun orbitz equalled
     lix plus some months gradual aging

     upon this body electric didst wear
major organs as personal choices made to veer
toward folkloric, generic holistic livingsocial
     societal, theoretical fabric
     minimally didst tear

which family of origin
     constituent part (nurture)
     nsync verses with nature (genetics)
     steeped with ethos to share
with parents, row mans, siblings,

     (now offspring), et cetera
     superfluity sans abundance,
     or paucity per cornucopia rear
neither former plentifulness,
     nor latter scarcity respectively
     predictable asper
    being dynamic

     versus static such yield
based, linkedin, and predicated
     on a gamut how fate didst wield
one record breaking
     catch of the century, and sealed

     fickle non butterfinger
     Swedish Fish Ma PHEAA filleted
famed schooled
     Redmond Efficiency Academy
top of the class for each grade,
     whence analogous

     viz zit hid had dock
     pier fickle lee hoorayed
randomly cast piscine line reeled inlaid
hallowed sea man tricked treat

     once the providence,
     which belief informed lifelike
     sculpted, Idolized carved likeness
     revealed from precious metal or jade
unseen creator mortals prayed

some examples being handily
     accorded mechanistic multi-deistic
such as Manichaeism, Mithraism, Muslim,
     et cetera belief, credo,

     divine entity man made
attempting cosmic explanations
     grandly incorporating
     limitless mysteries splashed
     throughout universe visually displayed

decrees ordained requiring unbridled zeal
only the dead privy
     to espy secret seventh seal
hence n'er did plentiful spirits reveal

themselves as flesh and blood,
     nonetheless, despite lack of sects ap peal
fervent humility, integrity, magnanimity...
     prayers preceded before each meal
or any exploitative endeavor,

     especially those which did heal
instilling positive influences to hopefully
     sway sought after immortal deal,
     and ethos, figuratively drilled into arboreal

predecessors minds of highest
     saint seeking achievers
and/ or ******* faithful devout believers
who oft morphed into zombie

     thrashing maniacs seized cleavers
a yen to revile against heretics,
not moost ideal to breed largesse,
     whence possessed by fevers

toward simple axe of pious,
     who indulgently pulled levers
no matter feigned actions hash tagged
reciprocating masquerade
     i.e. facade, charade afraid
     but, nevertheless a Good Samaritan.
173 · Aug 2023
The broken piggy bank
strewn into a bajillion little pieces

Unexpected largesse
yours truly patiently waits,
a metaphor of my dire financial straits
courtesy papa's unsuspecting muse
the missus, this wordsmith notates
unwittingly linkedin to his misfortune,
a situation he hates,
especially, an unavoidable crisis,
whereby passage of time abates
negligible onus of penury.

Soon after surrendering
(viz laundering) cash to bitcoin
immediately realized sinister trap
scammer prepared me to enjoin
egregious outcome surpassing
severe case of acne
treatment courtesy isotretinoin.

My ordinarily clear complexion turned wan
imprecation triggered suicidal ideation
overdosing on medication
escape from absolute zero
vanished capital pennilessness *******
welcoming self induced mortality did spawn.

Though weeks elapsed
since scammer
(smoked top of line cigars,
and/or quaffed vintage
amber liquid of the gods
signaling snagging a poor sucker)
made out like a bandit,
the squandered money
I still bemoan,

a grown man doth still groan
moroseness seeps
within his lovely bones
witnessing him curling
into fetal position versus lying prone
forever and anon envisioning himself
cast into the outer limits
of the twilight zone.

As a fool hardy way
to assuage loss,
where illusions of grandeur stray,
I regularly purchase lottery tickets
either Mega Million or Powerball
imagining being the lucky winner
then livingsocial
as a bachelor farmer in Norway

chomping down a delicious plateful
of powder milk biscuits
after countless hours pitching hay
while custom made robot named Barbie
adeptly programmed to prepare
Lefse, Krumkake, Lutefisk,
and Raspeball/Komle/Klubb,
she also doubles up as the abbé
of my fortress domicile.

Ha... an overactive imagination to boot
healthy escape from the maws of destitution
nevertheless, one old baby boomer coot,
who can prevaricate
knowing full well nobody
(especially the folks
from Lake Wobegon) cannot dispute
these marvelous turns of phrases I execute
while listening to The Magic Flute
an opera in two acts
by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
to a German libretto

by Emanuel Schikaneder
and of course after wolfing down
Norwegian cuisine listed above,
I will need (sorry to be cheeky) exercise
thy well endowed glute
(short for gluteus muscles)
a group of muscles
that make up the buttock area,
which group consists
of the gluteus maximus,
gluteus medius, and gluteus minimus.
(alternatively titled: tardy duff fender of assertiveness,
especially after adjusting following insanity clause
affixed with rubber baby-buggy bumpers)

Methinks I nearly got snookered
courtesy CVS employee at store number 7569
(address: 1206 North Gravel Pike,
Zieglerville, Pennsylvania 19492)
September ninth, two thousand and twenty.

Saleswoman rattled off spiel
regarding CVS Carepass program
the missus immediately
became suspicious of aforementioned deal
every month five dollars
debited from checking account,
figurative highway robbery,
and/or outright steal.

The above trifling
unspectacular wrought scenario
an exception to rule,
whereby yours truly usually
spurred Manichean inner duel
witnessed by guns ablazing
trampling outspokenness
giving Isaac Bashevis Singers,
Gimpel the fool

run for his in dove viz hubble money
now forced into dire straits,
where chicks free yea
how **** sapiens cruel
nasty, short and brutish beastly species
devises sadomasochistic tool
hankering, and hungering to starve
think also about anonymous
innocent tortured soul (me, ha)

kept in solitary confinement,
with no chance of parole
a convict for life i.e. hard skool
of knocks alum deceived
hired, and lobotomized
slave driven human mule
donkey *** tee (hee hee hee),
and fed diet of worms
in tandem with thin gruel.

Far to often annals
constituting mein kampf,
I experienced oblivious naiveté
undergoing blitzkrieg linkedin
with scapegoat honorific,
now sortie give snort against
mine passivity harrumph!

Dan D. yankee from Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania didst doodle and dawdle
planting feather in figurative cap - yay
perceptive sixth sense analogous to xray,
yours truly more wise

to the insidious mean way
dominant nasty, short
and brutish human beasts
Machiavellian bullies instill fear
for egoistic personal gain oye vey

immediately judging me as prime target
oh my dog... early in grade school
threatening hateful taunts got underway
I attest suffering verbal abuse
persists even today

offtime couched within feigned concern,
yet sinister motives at heart stay
anger toward able, eager and ready
poetic tactics launched courtesy shipshape quay
zee reasonably rhyming literary barbs to portray,

how creative poetic technique can outweigh
Norse (er horse) sense
scrawled by Lake Woebegone
bachelor farmers' guardian angels
originally harkening from Norway
deported to Normandy Farms,

including me nonagenarian papa,
cuz they (you decide who)
started to trumpet melee
predicated when power of attorney
given to a girl named Amélie,
dime a dozen teller (of tall tales)
at Wells Fargo Bank.
The Figurative Nail Hit On The Hair Strand Size Head!

Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
absolutely, intuitively, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply in my (ahem) head,
no matter a minimalist groomer

nevertheless, thinning follicles,
upon dawning realization, sans medical
sought relief thru good humor,
though within this balding cerebral noggin
became repulsive as if my scalp
pulled pate rendered as a tumor.

Thus an unexpectedly present surprise
when in private consultation in the guise
as out patient client (early afternoon
December 19th, 2018),
where I did fraternize
and kibitz with the medical assistant

(old enough to be my...sister),
aye did exercise
mild mannered mien mean, aye do patronize
before doctor Rudolf (dearly
reigned) Roth, a practicing
Dermatologist told me no lies

his instant karma knowledge - mainly his
thirty seven years expertise
sought to excise
a prominent non cancerous mole approximately
centered middle of back
a small patch of skin,

he needed to anesthetize
nonetheless, a reassuring persona,
yours truly did lionize
(not merely, cuz
he received a five star rating,
specialist under auspices

of Penn, Medicine)
in Radnor Pennsylvania),
his modest calm did neutralize
any uneasiness, as did his pronounced
humility earn kudos to idolize
such rarely present gentility, and

unwitting capacity did harmonize,
and maximize significance to me,
asper my thinning limp
hair logically rationalize
identified underactive thyroid gland

(hypothyroidism) tubby,
which didst legitimize
no hair brained rooted concern,
hence...less reason to catastrophize',
which for no reason I
wanted to mildly emphasize,
hence choice to apostrophize...
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