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Back in day (of ma
     mum, and perhaps
     since time immemorial)
     utterances of physicians
     nsync with Staff of Asclepius

pounded against floor,
     (which wrought
life to entwined serpent,
     whose beady
     eyed hypnotic power)

     understandably
     ranked doctors among
near mythical powerful
     Gods, who ought
best not be ignored, thus

     (then a young Harriet Harris,
     now long since deceased)
     felt overbearing heft of
     medical practitioners final words,
and subsequently would nought

refute, ignore, nor
     dispute sacred commandment
hence would n'er be accused
     of sacrilegious immodesty,
     impiety, or impropriety

     (towards medical institution),
     and never doubt voice
most supreme in the universe,
thus she felt caught
against challenging authority

     meekly surrendered
     her only son bought
(with bargaining chip
indubitable faith
     in omnipotent equip

ment with hocus
     pocus magic to flip
precious life humming along,
     or force death grip
upon a lovely boy (christened

     Matthew Scott Harris),
     at present lapsed beet hip
pea hooping to stave
     off crossing the lip
of LX bracket, there

     fore reckons a nip
and tuck (think
     prefrontal lobotomy),
     asper when just a pip
squeak ushered,

     where mine existence
     could be mortgaged
with accidental,
     (or purposeful) slip
of the knife, while

     under anesthetized trip
returning minus a mass of
     enlarged lymphatic tissue
     between the back of
the nose and the throat.
The Figurative Nail Hit On The Hair Strand Size Head!

Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
absolutely, intuitively, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply in my (ahem) head,
no matter a minimalist groomer

nevertheless, thinning follicles,
upon dawning realization, sans medical
sought relief thru good humor,
though within this balding cerebral noggin
became repulsive as if my scalp
pulled pate rendered as a tumor.

Thus an unexpectedly present surprise
when in private consultation in the guise
as out patient client (early afternoon
December 19th, 2018),
where I did fraternize
and kibitz with the medical assistant

(old enough to be my...sister),
aye did exercise
mild mannered mien mean, aye do patronize
before doctor Rudolf (dearly
reigned) Roth, a practicing
Dermatologist told me no lies

his instant karma knowledge - mainly his
thirty seven years expertise
sought to excise
a prominent non cancerous mole approximately
centered middle of back
a small patch of skin,

he needed to anesthetize
nonetheless, a reassuring persona,
yours truly did lionize
(not merely, cuz
he received a five star rating,
specialist under auspices

of Penn, Medicine)
in Radnor Pennsylvania),
his modest calm did neutralize
any uneasiness, as did his pronounced
humility earn kudos to idolize
such rarely present gentility, and

unwitting capacity did harmonize,
and maximize significance to me,
asper my thinning limp
hair logically rationalize
identified underactive thyroid gland

(hypothyroidism) tubby,
which didst legitimize
no hair brained rooted concern,
hence...less reason to catastrophize',
which for no reason I
wanted to mildly emphasize,
hence choice to apostrophize...
172 · Jan 2019
Interpreting Poetry (mine)
Similar to scrutinizing
an abstract painting,
this author begetting
obscure words dumbfounding
readers, he eludes
(no shade tree fore rest)
clear cut discerning,
yet oft times his words

garner reviews raving
esoteric word choice,
how mind boggling
to this logophile despite
more than one reading
brow (sir) furrowed -
cognitive region scrunching,
no matter intent concentration

utter futility attempting
bedeviled comprehension, whether
literary master (me? ha...
not yet), among pantheon partying,
but nonetheless birthing
present day profoundly thought provoking,
undoubtedly tirelessly expending
mental energy eventually exhausting

effort in futility understanding,
asper mine stymied
linkedin attention getting
(then just as quickly losing)
registering resignation defeat alluding
to challenge physical prowess daunting
engagement well matched savvy sparring
partner, or possibly life

and death battling
against unwittingly aggressive brutal questing
archenemy, sans toward all living
species wretched nemesis ultimately deciding
mortality tacitly accepted proffering
transient longevity refusing
to compromise, haggle, negotiate,
et cetera casting

deadened demise of victor or villain
all thru civilization starring
as unopposable tour
de force quietly biding
end date, versus indiscriminately snatching
hero, heroine, coward,
et cetera requiring
impossible ransom while donning

mask of Melpomene
(Tragedy), or trumpeting
Thalia (Comedy), no exit stage door left
only joie de vivre
until last second ticking
unbeknownst unexpected, and uninviting
deathly hallows ringtone alarming
anonymous (oh Henry)

words worth struggling
to hash meaningfulness, viz
finite existence germinating
since birth, yet
terminal realization pressing
with greater frequency when aging,
and deafeningly ear splitting
amplitude bite the bullet clamoring

to tread welcome matt acquiescing
unavoidable phase of dying
devoid of any bargain, but requiring
unconditionally punishingly suffering
silent non binding
resolution, no exemption decrying

unfair contractual obligation, nor unionizing
worth a fig yore of
speech as cosmic arbiter
blithely doth shear - pruning,
without rhyme nor reason meeting
identical fate toward everyone
even posthumous destiny yours truly awaiting.
(alternatively titled: tardy duff fender of assertiveness,
especially after adjusting following insanity clause
affixed with rubber baby-buggy bumpers)

Methinks I nearly got snookered
courtesy CVS employee at store number 7569
(address: 1206 North Gravel Pike,
Zieglerville, Pennsylvania 19492)
September ninth, two thousand and twenty.

Saleswoman rattled off spiel
regarding CVS Carepass program
the missus immediately
became suspicious of aforementioned deal
every month five dollars
debited from checking account,
figurative highway robbery,
and/or outright steal.

The above trifling
unspectacular wrought scenario
an exception to rule,
whereby yours truly usually
spurred Manichean inner duel
witnessed by guns ablazing
trampling outspokenness
giving Isaac Bashevis Singers,
Gimpel the fool

run for his in dove viz hubble money
now forced into dire straits,
where chicks free yea
how **** sapiens cruel
nasty, short and brutish beastly species
devises sadomasochistic tool
hankering, and hungering to starve
think also about anonymous
innocent tortured soul (me, ha)

kept in solitary confinement,
with no chance of parole
a convict for life i.e. hard skool
of knocks alum deceived
hired, and lobotomized
slave driven human mule
donkey *** tee (hee hee hee),
and fed diet of worms
in tandem with thin gruel.

Far to often annals
constituting mein kampf,
I experienced oblivious naiveté
undergoing blitzkrieg linkedin
with scapegoat honorific,
now sortie give snort against
mine passivity harrumph!

Dan D. yankee from Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania didst doodle and dawdle
planting feather in figurative cap - yay
perceptive sixth sense analogous to xray,
yours truly more wise

to the insidious mean way
dominant nasty, short
and brutish human beasts
Machiavellian bullies instill fear
for egoistic personal gain oye vey

immediately judging me as prime target
oh my dog... early in grade school
threatening hateful taunts got underway
I attest suffering verbal abuse
persists even today

offtime couched within feigned concern,
yet sinister motives at heart stay
anger toward able, eager and ready
poetic tactics launched courtesy shipshape quay
zee reasonably rhyming literary barbs to portray,

how creative poetic technique can outweigh
Norse (er horse) sense
scrawled by Lake Woebegone
bachelor farmers' guardian angels
originally harkening from Norway
deported to Normandy Farms,

including me nonagenarian papa,
cuz they (you decide who)
started to trumpet melee
predicated when power of attorney
given to a girl named Amélie,
dime a dozen teller (of tall tales)
at Wells Fargo Bank.
171 · Sep 2018
Inspection Time 2018!
Understandable dear reader,
     how this scribe bull lime
me bloke omitted mention of
     one bedroom flat as
reason nigh rote this rhyme

Ma faux pas faw axe pseudo dent lee
home hitting minor specific
     detail, minor crime
asper that subject, sans
     inspection against gritty grime,

and issuing citation
     if ***** sundry safety
     transgressions heron hot in Prime  
tip top order, whence
     (looming appointed date

     management undertakes
     requisite edifice complex inspection
     unwittingly doth find
     mine anxiety increasing ferret time
at Highland Manor
     Apartments twill make
their nada so merry go rounds!)

Dum...dum...dum...dum...DUH -
     anxiety shot thru stratosphere upon
     good news notification aboot
a fortnight from this last
     Friday of August tooth

     house sand date teen,
     rankling the body
     electric sans this "FAKE" ole coot
which panic stricken state
     (as iterated above),

     where quiet listening affected
     (with eyes shut wide)
     Mozart's The Magic Flute
hearing such melodic notes
     while lying sue

     pine versus sitting
     upon me comfort
     ably numb glute
if attuned to said renown composer,
     whose name familiar

     'round the world wide web,
     where his person posthumously
     rings up substantial loot,
yet such rambling moot,
when priority must first

     and foremost doth attend,
asper tidying up
     apartment, cuz inspection
     just around the bend
thus also a prayer would be

     appreciated (by this atheist)
     and/or juiced an email friend
e'en keeping limitation,
     i.e. sharing trained,
     unwavering, vaunted, wishing,

     yearning for zesty gerund
forming relationship to
     the maximum reciprocity,
     thee world wide web doth lend
no...no...no...NOT focused

     on anything greater,
     than heartfelt succor, asper
     tear riff hick
     genuine fantastic Earthling
     my darned cruel blimey

     soc erratic angst to mend,
though married, tis
     resplendent dear people
     scattered far and wide
courtesy of the internet,

     one can ride
upon the information
     super highway with pride
minus prejudice and
     trusty Google as guide,
perhaps...even fostering,
     kickstarting, and ushering
     online groom and/or bartered bride.
171 · Sep 2018
Transcendental Exploits
Most everything written
(and learned ya in school)
     Yukon **** sitter, (and bet
     your bottom dollar) tibia bunch
     of contrived information

     all details bu...bu...bull...low knee
     within this poetic missive
after spending a lifetime crunch
ching numbers, the following
     singularly just my hunch,

but despite minuscule
     approximate i.e. kid size lunch
meal, (sans two clenched fists,
     and weighing about 1.5 kilograms),
     not much to munch,

yet if smacked in the kisser
     by a pugilist visited
     square in the jaw deadly (Judy hush
     hiss) sucker punch
whereby the unlucky

     recipient may see "unlucky stars"
     after brows severely scrunched,
thee above poppycock, and potentially
    "FAKE" though (Ripley deed lee)
     believe able to ye,

nonetheless behooves me
to segue-way (by Segway) to pre
sent a "TRUE" revelation see
(gnome hatter, aye
     cheese silly contradict

     mice elf alias Stuart Little) prithee
please just accept what I write
     with a grain of salt
     (from the Sultan Sea),
cuz yawl do yarself grave

     injury and lodge a gree
vance against this harmless
right ham handed cree
chore from the outer limits
     of the twilight zone, thus

I STRONGLY ADVISE thee,
     NOT to stake eh knee
     un mensch chin hubble cogitation,
and figuratively swallow,
     hook, conga line

     and sinker thine highly suspect re
dunk yule us gobbledygook mee
cully (meekly) reed this
     more so asthma
     childish entertainment, hence oak key

jist put aside any urgent task
     to revel as sigh bee
devil logical syntax
     with sum man tricks
     playfully wasting yar

     precious time free
cully (freakily) inventing outlandish nee
incoherent yawping, towering,
     and brutally butchering,
Brooklyn speak (homer over

     mayor later mother), she
nearly always... er added
     letters "er" at'er the ender
her sentences - er stain?
171 · Jul 2018
Torturous Existence
Perspiration encompasses phalanges
     insinuating physiological absolute
     zero tolerance nuisance far and wide
across time space

     continuum the upside
incorporating various
     whereby sundry remedies tried,
     and yes obliteration

     of self (via Suez side ),
would constitute an
     extreme measure (NOT
     blithely NOR eagerly

     the path taken) to stop ride
ding slippery dripping
     surfaces wet when wet palms touch
     of hands incessantly, frustratingly,

     and chronically sweaty,
     yet every obvious remedy
     under the sun, moon,
     stars, et cetera ap plied,

yet no matter the central
     air condition set
     at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
     even when temperature colder outside

especially as twilight
     ushers cool nightside
crazy farfetched ideas
     for instance breathing carbon monoxide

races thru thine noggin,
     like so much cuz harmful
     odious bilge water
     (wicked yucky emotional effluvium)

     handily intent to cause landslide
thence posse sub billy reincarnating me
     into a shackled serf locked up
     inside a rat infested dungeon,

     nonetheless in earshot of hoi polloi,
     while lavish feast displayed kingside
which previous life
     found me taking joyride

with his highness until...
     these limp wet dishrag fleshy mitts
     angered royal majesty
damning yours truly,

     whose ins hide
sought refuse within
     thy inner poet as guide
which explains this

     hashed out rhyme
     from the farside,
per outer limits of the
     twilight zone eternally eventide.
Against merry christmas premature blowout,
(or otherwise) ******* galore burnout,
hence I feel like the odd man out
neither yours truly, nor the missus
spends money and/or
time at checkout

avoid madding crowds like the plague
elbowing, hustling, jostling,
pushing, racing, shoving...
seconds before blue
light special closeout,
though neither of us

reformed practicing Jews, nor devout
mass consumerism capitalistic fallout,
we steer clear taking refuge within
our underground (arched)
all in the family bunker hideout
remain hermetically sealed

courtesy NASA tested grout
hunkering inside spatially
roomy subterranean getaway
created viz 3d printing
immediately after rollout
ready to take nesty plunge

steeply, perpendicularly, giddily... south
to go down rabbit hole,
where we carouse, cavort,
thermally heated cavernous redoubt
reaping efforts after donning
(MAGA) hardhats constructing roustabout,

whereby protruding innocuous periscope
allows, enables, and provides
mean ways to scout,
since Marshall Mathers Law
declared, mandated trumpeted
courtesy special ops stakeout

regarding our subversive
passive actions hashtagged illegal
if perchance discovered vis a vis,
we Americans express timeout
before changing role as seekers
playing wargames no matter

suddenly Nor'easter creates whiteout
futile search until spring thaw
melting snow exhumes
mister and missus Santa Claus
thank you climate change
regarding attributed drought.
Florence hydra logical might -
tee pseudo tentacles, monstrous sight
didst bring watery plight,
deluge rivaling Noah - bliss oblige
     epic flood of biblical
     proportions, downright
terrible, re:, a drowning egregious fright
ten ning (in contest

     able uber catastrophe) - Don know why
     das trumpeting spare none, tossing,
     pitching, and lap
     ping blithely alight
ting across geography of thee
     Old North State leaving affright
full trail of destruction, (envied by
     the ghost of General

     William Tecumseh Sherman),
     he no match, where battling
     mortal men didst bite
the bullet outflanked,
     sans doodling Yankees topflight
capstone march to the sea,
     then touted as outright
masterful stroke, asper,

     turning tide of historical Civil war,
     which swath of indiscriminate overnight
destruction in tandem
     followed his Georgia quick step,
     successful Atlanta battle, fight
     ten, which campaign
     rendered victory in sight
Union accorded devastated country

     as winning *****, viz prizefight
ting champions clearly, grimly,
     and lamentably plunged
     once promisingly emergent
     then vanquished Confederacy
     with defeat written
     in figurative bombsight,
qua Rebels surrendering

     at lanced armstrong
     rapier pointed to Appomattox Court House
     original United States territory
     initially indigenous copyright,
stolen, whence ark enemy
     routed, killed, and decimated
     blood brethren human kind -
versus present natural disaster

     no matter meteorologists foresight,
nonetheless horrendously cruel debacle
     crushing The Tar Heel state
     trouncing analogously
     as aqueous blight
**** hellacious sight
tropical storm forcibly reclaiming
     visa vis re

     discovered primacy birthright
(i.e. revanchist deeded sic - seeded),
what "she," viz Mother Nature
     felt tubby "her" right,
bar no holds Gaia
     pulled out all stops
     punishingly ravaged North Carolina
     mercilessly didst wring

havoc bore out flooding
     and proved accurate "NON
     FAKE" fervent devout
     alarmist theologians
     appropriating weather forecasters dire
     prediction as doomsday message
     fore taste testing, telling, and texting
     presaging Armageddon authored

     by cosmic playwright,
whence global pulverizing,
     savaging, and torturing spite
     fully sucker punching
     swing, perhaps indicative dire strait
(a hunch from this topflight
atheist) posits ultraright
religionists possibly ascribe
     divine creator a bit uptight.
Define paradigm since time
immemorial does find
me defied, electrified, and generated
fascination within my mind,
despite spacious essence invisible to blind
people, or even those blessed to find
pointed laser insight more pertinent

when a visible beam shined
into infinite void of space,
where coordinates aligned
since humans stood *****
to measure existential blocks assigned
within very brief span that consigned

an average life on terrestrial
firmament more of a grind,
when omnipotent self importance
mandates no child shall be left behind,
yet unwittingly civilization dictates
everyone must be forcibly inclined

to synchronize, mechanize, and harmonize,
their every breath entwined
analogous to a pinned insect specimen
semi restricted to maneuver within
nebulous unseen all encompass
sing fourth dimension since...
my Neanderthal ancestors

huddled around protective hearth
yet,...no idea when,
(whether before
my conception, in utero, or at birth)
my noggin got gripped
with names woolworth
their weight in precious

gems or even salt
(steeped from legacy bygone ancient
civilizations) linkedin lightly
peppered planetary girth
various passages of time,
each mortal allotted on Earth
(measured in seconds, minutes,

hours, days, weeks, months...)
one season does leave,
and another one fall lows win touring
Santa's sleigh for those who believe
conveniently evinced as sands
slipping down humongous sieve

denoting reasons for joy or to grieve
and inquisitiveness attuned
when every stations broadcasts
countdown by Jeeve
parsing segments, not only prompting

objectives I did satisfactorily achieve
(during another orbit of Gaia,
when passage of time
signifying poignant heave
** every New Year's Eve),
but really the entire ticking

tocking clock scaffold
poses as an artificial construct,
as well the jolly green giant
with one or another
expansive FLOTUS on his/her greensleeve.
170 · May 2023
The Antics Of A Yoyo Thief
Potential life of as juvenile delinquent
(ala bam mean future streetwise ****)
stopped dead in the tracks – manacles
the above two lines hopefully gives hint
nearly changing changing life of one boy
an undersized puny kid
whose aborted theft stint
constitutes the gist of following poem.

Now scores of years
after botched minor theft penchant
courtesy security guard
analogous to inquisitorial trenchant
unforgettable verbal lashing
(suppressing me ululation to vent)
unwittingly arresting snitch behavior
plus potential life
of crime and punishment.

Not a peep passed thru
pursed lip o' mine -
aye vaguely attest
what age ten? eleven? twelve?
of following anecdote at best
educated guess, but no
doubt yours truly
with figurative heart in chest
scared sh__less puny meek boy
tight lipped silently confessed

to foiled attempt, sans trying
unsuccessfully to steal a yoyo,
during Saturday's short break
between gymnastic class
at Lansdale YMCA
(long since razed)
inviting tummy prepubescent
diminutive self unbuttoning
outer garment to stash loot,
revealing substantially sprawling

holy skype size bare breast,
after officer verbally rifled me
said mean security detail
demanding I undress
impossible mission to escape
upon being nabbed,
held me arms tight,
cuz yours truly
ain't no Artful Dodger  
thus aye didst detest

foolish kid ploy, and
(prematurely nipping
in the bud) messed
up potential life of crime
with first and only
shoplifting heist jest
for getting caught no a pest
key yoyo, mama would
(IF ever mama
or papa FOUND OUT)

they would axe me no quest
chin, but whack me itty bitty
teensy weensy derriere lest
quickly putting to rest
any Robin Hood
fantasy life of riding crest
to get rich quick scheme
high stakes crime pressed,
and squeezed out the noggin
with apropos punishment addressed

thankfully, neither parent
got wind, nor ever guessed
their beautiful darling
little boy did flunk
electric kool aid acid test
petty theft, never
matured nor ever again did zest
proliferate to ****** unpaid for goods
into a profitable "yoyo
string Ponzi like

scheme," thus ballsiest
dare devilish and bitterest,
and laughably noblest
act yours truly ever attempted
immediately ceased to shelve bravest
sleight of hand find
delve during broad
daylight, I immediately
didst abandon, when clumsiest
initial foray into

the world wide web
tubby come cleverest
lad, as iterated above this side of
Lansdale, Pennsylvania
many damnedest
yesterdays ago, never
took another earnest
tempting gamble since security
detail nearly wrest
head possible zapped feeblest Ames?

grilled, interrogated, lambasted me
immediately squelched
further misdemeanors
to pilfer from other
Department stores if pressed
for money no matter,
I might miss an enforced
hated ballet class,
with abs salute zest
worse fate than juvenile detention!

A long overdue belated thank you
to the intimidating man in blue
keeping yours truly on path
lawfully being straight and true.
170 · Jul 2019
Squandered boyhood
Extreme docility summarily
characterized demeanor,
when yours truly
pip squeaking little lad
the loudest sound,
this then pint size kid

generated courtesy
snapping, crackling, and
popping on quisp
and quake cereal
dems mighty good
eat'n snack food

straight out the box
this the most egregious behavior
exhibited by otherwise
extremely obedient sole son,
who feared never
venturing far from home

linkedin, albeit voluntarily
thank mother's durable apron strings
content self absorbed
taking especial attention
to surrounding flora and fauna
marveling at whirled wide webs

oblivious arachnids exemplified,
which near picture perfect dutiful son
a ***** fussy dorky dude,
now reimagines chock full
of mischievous deeds
epitomized, couched, applied

to fictitious unrepentant rapscallion
named Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore
brainchild made manifest destiny
obscure poet christened
William Brighty Rands
(British writer and major author

of nursery rhymes of Victorian era)
Google aforementioned name
if least bit curious
said crafted little
persona non grata
gangsta rappa if alive today

unleashed rather lame pranks
compared to golden opportunities,
no name brand garden variety
envious impish ragamuffins,
or even well groomed youths
respectable looking

albeit precocious progeny
need not leave comfort
of home nor hearth
what with wreaking havoc

freeing, loosing, releasing
veritable rainbow coalition
gender neutral binary rapscallions
across borderless cyberspace
itty bitty doggone petty files.
Ninety years April 9th 1929
after maiden USA début
hoop fully more than a few
remain, a filial connection
I can cultivate and hew

cuz, the ghost o' me late
mother, would be Jew
(red eye with swollen tears),
bull lent beef ****, aye rue
permanent AWOL of papa,
whose paternal Zayda, I never knew!

He, pulled off a top aerospace
rocket launched secrete tete a tete
impossible mission an ace legendary
sharpshooter, sans Aaron Harris
firearms passion never did abate

spewed spear shaped ammunition
in league with the missus to create,
who no surprise hapt tubby his bedmate
launched payload with joint consent
(plus bonus) re: private effort to satiate

call of the wild hit targeted bullseye
(eggs cell lent lucky shot) did initiate
genesis nine months later begetting
an audacious, industrious, rambunctious
bouncing baby boy with black curls atop pate

christened Boyce Brandon Harris
bright eyed infant bestowed with brilliance,
brawn, and bravado quickly evinced late
tent smarts landed lad admittance schools
geared to those who did accelerate

with mathematics and sciences, which
positive accolades since a lil whippersnapper
family and academicians did accentuate,
thus stellar classroom dedication, diligence
dogged nose to grindstone did accommodate

him being courted by prestigious storied
halls of education kickstarting promising
future and adequate income to accumulate
ample to live comfortably within middle

class economic (March madness) bracket,
and provided basic creature comforts fate
blessed him, and Harriet Harris nee Kuritsky
with this sole son and two daughters, I advocate
as exemplary siblings (despite) contention,
which required lifetime to agglomerate,

and estranged relationship with me father
coalescing into pleasant raport, adolescent
chomped at the bit, and
did fidget, cower, and alienate
experienced palpable tension
as though a "FAKE" wall,
I could not eradicate!
Nirvana awaits dada dear
thine paternal parent,
who helped sire yours truly,
a widower these
last fourteen plus years,
he laments absence,

and sorely misses presence
regarding scatterbrain spouse,
single word description,
he would readily concur
appellation linkedin with
bubbly headed just legal bride

born November thirteenth
ninety thirty five
learned thru the grapevine
(I must telephone him...
before the curtain call...,
whence his spirit

exits stage door left,
cashes in chips
gives up ghost
kick the bucket
et cetera, cuz
heavy sadness still pronounced

since me birth mother (his wife)
departed about three years
following grim terminal prognosis
metastatic uterine cancer
sabotaged her vivacious person
doggedly die hard zest

Arthur Murray ballroom instructor
unbridled questing nabbed,
(albeit flirtatious ******)
husbanded coy demeanor
snookered young, tall, slender,
handsome, athletic bachelor

unwitting prime ketch
female instinct pheromone scented
bewitched, enthralled, intoxicated...
pretty thang wrought yoked
without resistance ohm mat tickly
generated electric charm

crackled, popped, and snapped
synapses nsync between infatuated pair
future groom invoked flying colors
courtesy maternal grandmother

marriage spanned approximately half century,
not entirely wedded bliss,
yet each swore fidelity to the other
..."until death do us part".
Sands of time runneth out
stout whistleblowers must apply clout
to affect the commander in chief forced...
send him back his favorite mantra,
that churlish, childish and cheapish tricky lout
arrogant, defiant, haughty... without doubt

exceeded probation apprenticed, I shout
out, his poor performance absolute zero
as presidential material about
effective electing trout
as huff fish hint leader of America
rather less so - hook, line and sinker

"FAKE" laurels he cannot hard dilly tout
running democracy regarding
United States of America aground,
while out dough faced mouth blowout
vitriolic vile, noxious, crude... invectives
his anger doth spout

frothily fuming, lividly
lashing, rabidly raging...
trademark MAGA flout
sulking with juvenile pout
vamoose with him
and ilk poisoning

Lady Liberty's body with gout
cantankerous malignant cancerous canker
breeding, bleeding, besotting devout
dereliction evincing hangdog look
barking, growling, snapping... snout
fondling, groping, harassing...,

analogous to ******* scout
wily, vehemently, unseemly, sacrilegious
behaviour in apropos devout
floundering, grounding, hijacking...,
ship of state into sauerkraut

agent provocateur on warpath
doomsday clock inching closer
to armageddon drought
will prevail across Earth
global thermonuclear fallout.
169 · Nov 2019
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
Earthdate/starttime: 11/04/19 01:10:26 AM
Earthdate/endtime: 11/04/19 02:55:46 AM

Poetic snapshot regarding immediate
actual, physical, spatial... environment
pertinent, relevant, salient... yours truly
commenced within fleeting electronic

date/time stamp indicated above bereft
attempts to describe character sketch,
whereat I sit within Apartment B44:
taking immediate lock, stock & barrel

ordinary repeated situation witnessing
garden variety **** sapien imbibing
familiar scenario, while spouse sleeps
near proximity, CPAP machine regulates

continuous positive airway pressure
offsetting sleep apnea breathe more so
she can breathe free and clear preventing
airway from collapsing when she inhales.

Nothing particularly spectacular wee hour
this ordinary moment beckoned, challenged
decided... attempt to focus (laser like) sense
and sensibility without pride, nor prejudice
essentially simply worded still life repeated
predictably, & regularity glossed over other
instances finding impetus preying upon pro-

fun ditties, and expansive vocabulary unsure
communicated printed idea understandable
aware some readers disinclined wading thru
thicket (quagmire) of verbiage, hence eureka
experience to corral immediate circumstance
(think Will Rogers' 140th birthday his home
spun extemporaneous anecdotal nuggets.)

Many occasions embarking upon complexity
aspire to elaborate intricate worded webbed
(wide aye bother) complex edifice ambitious
invariably confounding unsuspecting readers
suddenly sinking within quicksand helpless

against salvation, hence painstaking effort
to asseverate downplaying sesquipedalian
rather toning down syllabification sharing
trumpeting, undulating humdrum existence
verily reporting sleeping on floor - courtesy
restless leg syndrome, which affects the mrs.

Marriage basically no match heavenly made,
nonetheless dynamic linkedin travails values
wifely attentiveness to prepare unrecognized
frying object (best described as pop slop), +

she tends other domestic chore, viz washing
soiled clothes nsync of kitchen, whiling away
(think dervish) stoking chaos within invisible
re: nearly infinitesimal speck within Milkyway.
169 · Aug 2018
y am.i. On this site???
to bask
in offline and/or
     online friendship
like quaffing from flask
with no deliberate intent
     to antagonize nor mask
any hidden agenda -
     quite challenging task.

Thus, i turn question back 2 u
per what spurred
     posting/responding too,
and might there be interest
     with me - n average hue
man male - hoping 4  
     acquaintance brand new
from - this bard

     of schwenksville - matthew
***** older buck
     haint gonna byte
so...no need to take fright
     i scout cyber seas donning
     virtual webbed wide
     wet suit to brook
     a female friendship countless

     adult oriented web site
up prefer venues left
     of political right
and absolutely
     positively unquestioningly
     without subatomic
     particle of interest
than please just respond

     albeit, and try to be polite...
good morning, noon, or night
quite
right
2b guarded when acquaintanceship
     begins out of sight
whereby data bits
     bump uglies and grind
     thru information super
     highway somewhat tight.
Ma arch bald
     dingbats fingas clip by

     at greased lightening speed
justa friendship this
     poor fella doth need
an accommodating gal
     to offer a lead
mien eyes not purposely heed,
nor any greed
from stall huff

     eyeing in sects less marriage
     this guy wants 2b freed
with no malice this
     super tramping wordsmith
     of inxs ac of dc
     charged cheap tricks,
     sans done ***** deed.
This impersonator

     sometime bard of yore
admits to his apology
     if taken totally abominable
     like bar rammy aback
     to proposition with
     carnal desires in store
and ideally match deeds
     e-z with these words

     towards strong desire to adore
forsooth naked realm
     to allow noggin to bore
together in close syn
cop yule lay shun couplet core
and would gently encourage
     newfound muse
     to let me dip quill in iambic

     pentameter du jour
from a wordsmith
     who shies away
    drinking *** or smoking *****.
Now with a zing
i step into digital xing
via summit fall low wing
written jest to byte

     tongue in cheek
unsure if phone here will ring
or unexpected
     gold plated invitation
     after the yodeling ding
in an effort to hear pleasant,
     yet discordant musical
     ka – ching

for cherished pennies, nickels,
     dimes, nickle back
     et cetera from heaven to bring.
Twiddling 2 opposable black bird
     shaped green thumb
     me schmart simian Semitic ****
     gets comfortably numb
quaffing humongous

     amount of ***
while downing
     sesame street pudding
     made of pureed plum
like jack in the corner
     boot my luck more glum,
and despite ****** stubble with here
     and there a stale crumb
this dabbler in words
     haint no ***.
Freedom from onset of pervasive gloom
(attendant with profusely perspiring palms,
hut tree men duh us aggravation), would be
a dog send to this melon collie bow wow
wing **** sapien aging baby boomer.

I already attend weekly counseling (no
weeknd) in tandem with experiencing
alleviation linkedin to severe anxiety,
depression, obsessive compulsive disorder.

Courtesy of father's litte helpers (Buspirone
Hydrochloride Tablets 15 mg twice daily,
Clonazepam 0.5mg tablet once daily,
Clomipramine 50 mg once daily, Fluoxetine

HCL 20 mg once daily, and Fluoxetine HCL
40 mg twice daily), prescription medications
considerably diminish disabling severity to
function, which afflicted yours truly soon
after being borne circa January thirteenth mcmlix.

Beset with psychological distress manifested
by physiological symptoms nsync with Inxs
adrenaline triggering heart palpitations, irritable
bowel syndrome, nausea, and vertigo said
unrelenting panic attacks considerably less

immobilizing prior to readily assenting to rely
on synthesized biochemical pharmacologically
manufactured as the next best option verses,
(no gallows humor pun intended) "magic bullet"
triggered by presed firearm.

Despite medicare coverage to acquire manufactured
selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, as a benefit
long since being deemed eligible to receive social
security disability, every now and again mine
mental health state pitched into abysmal despair,
an emotional nadir fraught with greater predilection
to inflict permanent self-harm possibly...premature demise.

Ah...without cloud crowdsourcing doubt, this mortal
man would hanker to plead within his genuine schizoid
personality disordered body to become free and clear
of life figuratively weighed down with bajillion pound
millstone gravely dark shadows synonymous with edge

of night prevalent with outer limits of twilight zone.
While awaiting (with increasing anticipation), which
salvation I can never ketchup with will find me
steadfastly, (albeit grudgingly) popping pills.

Plus, this holistic hombre resorts to transcendental
medication and physical exercise incorporating two
(one for each hand) dumbbells.

Meantime...an effort to seek succor availed sought out
by The Wizard of Ozzy Osbourne (waiver place he lives).
Hmmm most certain, he would be most accessible
upon a Black Sabbath.

If not him...this schlepper will trod along the boulevard
of broken dreams, yes - most definitely on a greenday.

Ever the cautious optimist, aye hopefully stumble across
an antiquated lantern pleasantly surprised when (after
carefully dusting off accumulated detritus), a garden
variety genii unexpectedly appears.

She/he, (perhaps after transgender reassignment
originally a him/her), would bewitch and spellbind
me after asking "wiccan I do for you," and deliver
immediate coveted ampoule, essentially a placebo.

Peace at last, plus long and fostered relief from
agonizing mental torture.
    
Without doubt, a greater probable chance more
favorable for this luckless male to win lottery (even
just a paltry million dollars), despite steep odds,
as opposed feeling akin to Atlas bearing weight
of world wide web!

Please feel free to toss pennies, nickels, dimes...
into virtual Fountain Head.
Reprieve from damp,
     and rainy, or sultry weather,
     I schlepped a
     light weight Shaker
made folding chair
     out upon Jim Baker
Nabor's green acre
and once enthroned

     as a " FAKE FAKIR"
in rubberized web
     bing (seam ming lee
     lapis lazuli trimmed),
     this body of mine
     lapsed into Quaker
state averse to focus attention,
     gnome hatter eyes fixedly glute

to the pages, sans
     newsworthy printed material,
     to apprise and jute
keeping me astute
with major local and global
     journalistic burning hotspots
     whatsapp pining (the
     most recent issue Newt

about Gingrich commendable
     TIME magazine), boot
with rather light
     breeze tolerably blowing
temperate, moderate air currents
     enveloping this here ole coot,
who aint got Hoot
tee and the Blowfish, nor toot

from no mo' magic flute,
thus by natural
     dint cocked mean
looking head (you figure out
     which one) between
the devil and the
     deep blue seas tureen,
which gaze extended clean

skyward to cerulean vault
populated with strunk
     and white tufts
in stark contrast did lean
in to the verdant rich green
sward abuzz within
     invisible micro ecosystems
niched and stitched by Jean

E. Huss flora Dean
and endearing fauna
     minted quartered gene,
which hubbub of variegated
organisms sound
     accompanied motley crue
     of each scudding soundcloud
shape shifting bill

low whee near weightless
     (cottony ma their) keen
stern preachily mass stir,
     then puff (like
     a magic dragon),
     no more easily seen.
Ides simply referred to first new moon,
which usually fell between
the thirteenth and fifteenth day
of a given month.

Smithsonian Magazine history buff
Tom A. Frail
posted March 4, 2010 issue
url = https://www.smithsonianmag.com/
history/top-ten-reasons-to-beware-
the-ides-of-march-8664107/
top ten reasons to
beware the ides of march.

The following events all occurred
fifteenth of March
across span of millenniums.

One: Assassination of fifty five year old
Julius Caesar, 44 Before Common Era
Two thousand and sixty seven years ago
conspirators led by Marcus Junius Brutus
stab dictator-for-life Julius Caesar
to death before the Roman senate.

Two: A Raid on Southern England,
1360 Anno Domini.
A French raiding party begins
a 48-hour spree of ****, pillage and ******
in southern England.

King Edward III interrupts
his own pillaging spree in France
to launch reprisals,
writes historian Barbara Tuchman,
“on discovering that the French
could act as viciously in his realm
as the English did in France.”

Three: Samoan Cyclone, 1889
A cyclone wrecks six warships—
three U.S., three German—
in the harbor at Apia, Samoa,
leaving more than 200 sailors dead.

(On the other hand,
the ships represented
each nation’s show of force
in a competition to see
who would annex Samoan islands;
the disaster averted a likely war).

Four: Czar Nicholas II
abdicates his throne, 1917
Czar Nicholas II of Russia
signs his abdication papers,
ending a 304-year-old royal dynasty
and ushering in Bolshevik rule.

He and his family taken captive
and, in July 1918, executed
before a firing squad.

Five: Germany Occupies Czechoslovakia, 1939
Just six months after
Czechoslovak leaders ceded Sudetenland,
**** troops seize provinces
of Bohemia and Moravia,
effectively wiping Czechoslovakia
off the map.

Six: A Deadly Blizzard
on the Great Plains, 1941
A Saturday-night blizzard
strikes northern Great Plains,
leaving at least 60 people dead
in North Dakota and Minnesota
and six more
in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

A light evening snow
did not deter people from going out—
“after all, Saturday night
meant time for socializing,”
Diane Boit of Hendrum, Minnesota,
would recall—but “suddenly
the wind switched,
and a rumbling sound
could be heard as
60 mile-an-hour winds
swept down out of the north.”

Seven: World Record Rainfall, 1952
Rain falls on Indian Ocean island
of La Réunion—and keeps falling,
hard enough to register world’s
most voluminous 24-hour rainfall: 73.62 inches.

Eight: CBS Cancels
the “Ed Sullivan Show,” 1971
Word leaks that CBS-TV  
cancelled “The Ed Sullivan Show”
after 23 years on the network,
which also dumped Red Skelton
and Jackie Gleason
in the preceding month.

A generation mourns.

Nine: Disappearing Ozone Layer, 1988
NASA reports the ozone layer
over Northern Hemisphere  
depleted three times faster than predicted.

Ten: A New Global Health Scare, 2003
After accumulating reports
of a mysterious respiratory disease
afflicting patients and healthcare workers
in China, Vietnam, Hong Kong,
Singapore and Canada,
the World Health Organization
issues a heightened global health alert.

The disease became famous
under the acronym SARS
(for Sudden Acute Respiratory Syndrome).

Elemental forces of style at large
which indiscriminate merciless whims extant
ask Homer Simpson or Marge
g'head and even tap
a local, county, or state Sarge

gent on the shoulder, cuz
he or she would moost likely agree
that this Month predicated
on The Gregorian calendar me
didst axe Mister Google,
(who **** courtesy enough prithee)
to validate premise about
when Time Construct came a boot re:

(named after Pope Gregory XIII, who
introduced it in October fifteen eighty two)
from that date to present,
the most widely
Attention Network Test (ANT) queue
test used civil calendar,
(though feel welcome to challenge above)
and when brand new
(involved approximately
0.002% correction knew
this margin of error in length
of Julian calendar year) allowing hue

man accurate measurement passage
as days, weeks, months...elapsed
unimportant to the average Joe,
(not quite five hundred years ago)
returning home on his emu
no matter male gendered
wordsmith named Matthew

cuz this flightless fast-running bird dinned,
poe whit lorry yet (wannabe)
nose tubby directed related door sill finned
and after posting blurb held pinned
regarding veracity of information
dog gone harassed primate hoo haint sinned
graced with surname Harris,
and gladly boasts being full of wind

which trivia finds this barred bard
(as iz his usual wont
i.e. digressing ludicrously wayward
from primary cole lord thread)

from initial intent, vis a vis,
how all life forms stretching
within the bounds of quisling
to an affable, convivial, and filial King
Crimson (reddit in the face),
yet knew everything liken ace
that comprised tome base
comprise zing knowledge
booking (to chase
winter blues) at getaway
gracefully re: Bedrock Cave
with proprietors of said place
Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone
offered ample space
to discuss preparations to cope
with onset of infrequent roaring blizzard
(via ominous clouds that didst trace)

plus minimizing setbacks affecting
the then most advanced stone age
during wrathful outbursts from beige
flesh toned gabbing Goddess,
whose gentle giantess goodness,
one could gauge
which genteel manners evident
also asper her page
gave inside information,
how to batten down hatches
while tethered like a puppet
on the then much younger global stage.
Ah Sheik Hog - **!
One "FAKE" Wingman Flying
Via O'hare To Dublin y'know
Cuz, The Leprechaun within
me, seeks young sprig poe
whet tick friend in toto,

though nowhere to be found despite search team
loudly trumpeting thru depleting fresh air
supply terrestrially polluted atmosphere,
asper the unknown whereabouts, regarding
said royally titled quasi legally inherited bare

naked lady loving ******* oven heated affair
son last seen donning Herringbone Wool headwear
supplemented by Irish merrino wool sweater
and custom made Hemp (smoking hot) pants
informing observer with seedy, faux debonair,

and pseudo (reed "FAKE") suave cultured couture
clothing automatically camouflaging to disappear
without a trace, thee alluded to rival to the throne
(Irish to keep ye in the dark) like chocolate eclair
secret recipe (one takes to the grave), unless held

at gunpoint by bonafide Machiavellian consigliere
ruthless if necessary forcing captive to declare
high fidelity, indemnity, loyalty, et cetera to a
life of lawlessness adopting anonymous incognito
guise accepting bewig noggin with long knotty hair

tattoo skin with "FAKE" scars to accentuate fear
factor accepting (blood bonded) brotherhood till
death do you part loot, pillage, vandalize, et cetera
in a blitzkrieg effort (albeit violently) to repair
evenly distribute disparity between 1% and 99%

grassroots uprising (peopled with migrants) spear
writ ting their exploitation at the (Taj Mahal) bear
sized paws swiping at susceptibility, vulnerability,
inequality, et cetera series of unfortunate events
decreed, instilled, ordained clamped like ironware

shackling one generation after another, an outright
outdated, on par as anachronism, feudalism, stoicism
where stark difference between rich and poor unfair,
especially, *** the latter labor sweat of their brow,
which backbreaking toil essentially endows wealthy
at expense of grunt work signalling ominous nightmare.
Ambiguity within mine
doodling Yankee mind that
arises, asper current
hoopla harrumphing
American Civil War statues,
which verbal/written spat

particularly regarding southern generals
(many atop horses) arouses
call to arms whereat,
excited curiosity possibly twill incite
dangerous extraneous, mutinous,
treasonous *** for tat

promulgation exhuming ghosts
abolitionists of Dead Poets Society
screeching like a wildcat
signaling resumption, sans
war between the states recruiting
every able bodied proletariat

after well nigh one
hundred fifty four plus years,
which repurpose sing reformat
might transform mine
humdrum friggin existence
into one enviable secretariat,

where these ears will
hear constant ratatat,
when bombardiers din
temporarily doth pause
scampering atop rampart
analogous to polecat

espying the freshly minted "enemy"
unconcerned if maneuvers induce pitapat
cuz resumption of battle will drown,
this weasel granted leeway within Union
Schwenksville, Pennsylvanian nonfat
spry old man confident fighter

despite civilian life
extant, viz noncombat
acclimated to rustic/primitive conditions
honest to dog abode comprised
thatched hut housed within mudflat

only during rainfall rigging
makeship shower plus laundromat
counting lucky stars kismat
blessed without necessity
to whip out handy dandy hemostat,
thus yours truly ready for action

quite content nsync
within no man's land habitat
linkedin with nearest battalion via
microchip embedded within
noggin rock solid as hardhat
genetically modified lest

Johnny Rebel lob brickbat
also on lookout against
swampy hungry creatures,
thence I will ******
these lovely bones akin to acrobat.
168 · Jul 2018
Stop Kvetching Kookamunga!
I. e., this unfortunate
     mere erred reflection,
     aye re: zine
     (pronounced Syne),
     cuz you Matthew Scott Harris
act like an old curmudgeon,
     does nothing but whine...

     this one dimensional mere silver,
copper film and multi layered shine
of waterproof paint
     on back surface doth deign
as merely superficial float glass fine
visualization cannot detach itself
     (analogous to a Siamese
     twin engine eared ensign)

sullying for all the
     world wide web to see mine
capricious, facetious,
     and inglorious rotten chine
(vis a vis via,
     sexually seedy, Nein
dynamic, salaciously scabrous,
     spicily shamelessly pine

ning sultry rhyme
     (without reason) attempting
     to wax eloquent as nonpareil poetry
     by futilely try'n
to make a silk purse out of swine
(actually a sow's ear), meanwhile dine
'n high and mighty trump
     petting haughtiness hoping to line

up ducks in a row at mine
(your poor reflection), hmm...wondering
     mebbe I can latch unto a stein
way praying for some means
     to become divine
very aware that
     no mirrored reflection can exist
from a corporeal entity,
     who cannot ever hurt or **** me,

     but,...yeah go ahead,
     and take a fist
also aware nothing can undo
     that banal, carnal, and offal dreck,
     which materiel could be ideal grist
for erotica such as Hustler,
     and/or Penthouse, where prurient
     Lady Chatterley's naked lunch evocations
     conjured behind wordy myst.
168 · Mar 2022
Wordsmith's Veneration...
Methinks, I post literary endeavors inxs
but tis with blood, sweat and tears
in case ye did not guess,
who struggles to craft reasonable rhyme
ideally read by a pleasing poetess.

Aye ***** nilly understate (trying to)
tantalize, hypnotize, galvanize...
with "FAKE" trumpeting
spellbinding, rambling, quivering...
intoxicating, hallucinating, gyrating,
stop to take a breather...

English Language vocabulary, a
fascination, intoxication, provocation...
upon me ocular, neurological, mental...
faculties of this nattering nabob
from outer limits of twilight zone
i.e. literary krazy Jewish jabberwocky

issuing haphazard global toll till
fallout exacting deserved ****
cratering nascent (inchoate) career
digitally/electronically bi:
ne'er re: carpet bombing

away upon modus operandi, sans
sesquipedalian shrapnel strafes wrought
realization literary scaffolding
complex edifice thought
out in mind of yours truly,
not popularly sought

opportunity to experience
rush of excitement,
asper choice winner equals naught
inexorable effort to cobble innovative
linkedin words disappointment fraught
submissions witness polite declinations

attesting, lamenting, regarding poetic
expansive glommed language, unlikely
success tubby brought
adulation, commendation, enunciation...
fades into afterthought.

Ablest adept adroit aficionado
applauded aspiring authors accorded
absolute badge because
brevity brews brilliant burnished
bravado bubbling budding bulwark
captivatingly collates, communicates,
constitutes conveys avast literary

Grand Canyon chiseled, sans scribe's
Colorado devoid, asper driven desperado
contrariwise, through prevalent
persistent pinterest proclivity,
plus plethora pronounced propensity

resoundingly regaling readers
re: raffish ridiculous rumination
renders endeavor incommunicado
diligent doggedness ironically -
dampens dueling dynamic dud

dutifully dramatically diminishing
divine dreaming skin deemed darling
distinguished doodling I sip
prose poe hit tick drafter
equally or exceeding
prospects envisioning El Dorado,

thus this 1% Neanderthal
bets his sweet bippy
and bottom dollar
febrile frenzy to fashion words
essentially relegated as dense bupkis
will automatically plummet
hook, line and sinker
10,000 leagues under the sea
accidentally discovered courtesy
scuba diver assisted by Octopus teacher.

He subjects unsuspecting readers
to lumbering lugubrious trademark
style saturing media airwaves,
thus instinctive immediate attribute
acutely sensing reasonable non-rhyme
heading directly to Davy Jones locker
years later discovered posthumously
and hailed as figurative
long lost sunken treasure
linkedin to the outstanding
ascribed to yours truly,
honorable Master scribe
among pantheon of great poets - ha
a run of the mill
schlepping logophile.
Henry Kline Boyer Elementary School
Evansburg, Pennsylvania
circa ~ 1969 ADD:
A(fter) D(umpster) D(diving).

As a Halloween
     costume, that fifth year
literally dug up materials,
     sans throw away wear
during grade school,

     my father got veer
re: brilliant idea
     for this sole son,
     which found gritty
     sanitation crew unclear

but right at home
     on animal farm,
     and/or role with
     pigpen didst share
this original getup cost Peanuts,

     but caused a big stink to rear
up dressed depleted oxygen,
     and many classmate didst swear
objectionable odor
     also induced eyes to tear.

Missus Shaner (the talon
     clawed, shriveled queer
looking relic of a dinosaur,
     who taught – for near
lee a millennium fifth grade)

     gave me - up pair
of gooey (Paraguay)
     “FAKE” genuine heir
looms (bone a fide kitchen
     middens) artifacts mere

wrack que less originally care  
lessly tossed out by
     indigenous: Guaraní,
     Ayoreo, Toba-Maskoy,
     Aché and Sanapan
discovered in present
     day capital, dear
lee benevolent holy city
     steeped in prayer:
(Nuestra Señora Santa
     María de la Asunción).

Authentic “FAKE” Central A mere
reek'n (American) rank
     and file putrid bare
lee tolerable plum
     rancid rotten ancient

     ******* handily found
     teacher to declare
me the putative winner
     since everyone else
     passed out from the fetid air.
Ah Sheik Hog - **!
One "FAKE" Wingman
think Monty Python's
Flying Circus skittering
on thin ice - Skidamarink
a ****, a ****...

hither and yon, to and fro
Via O'hare To Dublin y'know
Cuz, The Leprechaun within
me, no spring chicken bro,
nevertheless oz offer friendship in toto
good day to thee with cheerful adieu.

Though nowhere to be found despite search team
loudly trumpeting thru depleting fresh air
supply terrestrially polluted atmosphere,
asper the unknown whereabouts, regarding
said royally titled quasi legally inherited bare

naked lady loving ******* oven heated affair
son last seen donning Herringbone Wool headwear
supplemented by Irish merrino wool sweater
and custom made Hemp (smoking hot) pants
informing observer with seedy, faux debonair,

and pseudo (reed "FAKE") suave cultured couture
clothing automatically camouflaging to disappear
without a trace, thee alluded to rival to the throne
(Irish to keep ye in the dark) like chocolate eclair
secret recipe (one takes to the grave), unless held

at gunpoint by bonafide Machiavellian consigliere
ruthless if necessary forcing captive to declare
high fidelity, indemnity, loyalty, et cetera to a
life of lawlessness adopting anonymous incognito
guise accepting bewig noggin with long knotty hair

tattoo skin with "FAKE" scars to accentuate fear
factor accepting (blood bonded) brotherhood till
death do you part loot, pillage, vandalize, et cetera
in a blitzkrieg effort (albeit violently) to repair
evenly distribute disparity between 1% and 99%

grassroots uprising (peopled with migrants) spear
writ ting their exploitation at the (Taj Mahal) bear
sized paws swiping at susceptibility, vulnerability,
inequality, et cetera series of unfortunate events
decreed, instilled, ordained clamped like ironware

shackling one generation after another, an outright
outdated, on par as anachronism, feudalism, stoicism
where stark difference between rich and poor unfair,
especially, *** the latter labor sweat of their brow,
which backbreaking toil essentially endows wealthy
at expense of grunt work signalling ominous nightmare.
166 · Jul 2018
Suggestions Anyone...?
Without malice nor forth-thought,
     no wide dee what aye will write
and thus would gladly take suggestions,
     hence **** sitter this

     manifesting poetic effort an in vite
unusual, yes, boot
     oft times mental blitzkrieg
     brainstorm relapses (pondering)

     the same trite,
hence on a whim aye pulled
     out all the stops in an effort
     to zero in on an in site

full topic in situ, which need
     not be politically wrong or right
and trying to tow the line (to avoid
     upsetting some person,

     faction, ethnicity...quite
impossible, and...oh gnome hatter
     that any individual
     could share unpleasant

     worldly news, (aye avoid
     gloom of neigh sayers),
     and much prefer to weigh in on
     the contemplation of a personal plight,

which sudden on rush of ideas
     (akin to an emotional tsunami)
     usually occurring at night,
whereby an indomitable surges

     of overwhelming might
flashes thru my consciousness light
ting up thine entire cerebral circuitboard,
     whereupon this white knight

feels mounted up a wild steed
     with fiery eyes that seem to ignite
reining up on hind quarters
     to an exceptional height

and now reached a writer impasse, I abhor,
      where flow of bubbling ideas
     find me marooned as if
     stranded on a sand bar

     came to screeching stop, thence desperation
analogous caught in a traffic,
     and ready to jump out the car
or perhaps feeling

     a day late, and dollar
short aghast that glib flow, an exception
     that showed me as a
     false prophet with no exemplar

of English language with prospects
landing deal as best selling author far
remote then getting struck
     by lightening twice starkly aware
     ma fingers could not even play
     a one string guitar.
166 · Sep 2018
Pray Zing Legal Tender
Preface: hide who attest
mine poetry may not be zee best
boot to wicks press,
     one dum minted whoosh,
     aye gently imp pull ****
     eyes zing from chest...
tug *** a lee till bitta chump change
     boot an over
     powering literary force
     to pocket earning e'en

     for a mud hest grange
(hmm...who knows maybe
     formerly owned
     by Jessica Lange,
thence might ease silly
     colt heave hate
     my bow vined financial range,
     cuz this har chap
     (decades older than
     average college student –

     an insignificant “NON FAKE”
     dare re: free fact),
which dirt poor status
     aye trump pet as
     newt so strange.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
noel hunger asp hire for:
hub bridged over River x Kwai zee version
re: GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST  
though still subtitled
(bah jaw edge, deface value
of dis washed out buck.)

Let this dog gone prime mate
     ova simian sketch out
     his general doggerel to free
     unleashing a swiftly tale lord
     of the flies - harried styled
     brush stroke strengths
retracting in sanity claws,
     which cha still

     might find me
     barking up wrong tree
arf find yarself cat
     a tonic taking a nap -
     inland of doctor ah zee
     akin to a termite
     expending her/his energy
     thru wood to bore
sear chin faw income

     an arduous slo
     vac book king chore,
thus, i spruce quest more
or less Asian non-
     conformist poetic poor
je ne sais quois lacking a roar
re: boar re Alice
     sin wonderland score

ring low marks de jour
no to entertain
     as minimumalist NON lore
real and hence...whoosh into
     circular filing cabinet
     ye will store
this non-formal
     un axed faw reap ply,

     which doomed communique
     will n'er take cyberspace tour.
Pixar could nada pay enough
     for this trainer
     of apple chomping antz
thus, i wonder if any chance
     whisker of employment
vis a vis this contrived

     virtual “FAKE” toy story
     qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize opening
     virtual community chest
     into a likely
     monopoly winning chance
such an idea generates me
     to shrek out with

     excitement n contra dance
just in case a glimmer
     of some prospect exists
for this self anointed bard,
     and one who dislikes formality
    nonestablishmentarian presents
     brief poo whet tick summation,
     sans technical skills,

     he hopes to enhance
p'raps earn enough moolah
     to sight see Arc d'Triumph,
     Louvre, Paris France i offer
     the following poetic expression
     for ye to take a glance
and help this
     intuitive **** sapiens

     income to expand and en-hance,
which byte size
     bit torrent humor
     without strong arm, nor lance
     might cause ye to prance
away after misinterpreting
     mishmash rave as rants
mainly part time need
     motivates prose ache stance

     a subtle intent worth hiring,
     deuce sway au currant series
     binary electronic charge
and ideally affect hypnotic trance.
I betcha never red a blue per
     poe sting like this faux
     iambic pentameter electronic wire
awe third by boyish

     looking blood muggle
     father up in years,
     (whose nonpareil courage
     to face voldemort
     never does tire)
and alas two grown girls, would NEVER
     consider him a worthy hire
to rake in gobs of legal tender,

     vroom to satiate unquenchable
     game of thrones hunger    
     asthma thirst qua
     knowledge iz Saul powerful
for raw bits of
     computer know how
     or general learning took choir.
Just before stroke o' midnight
slated date above zee wife,
i.e. the missus, aboot
same width and height
(quite an oompa loompa),
she presented quite

oh...somewhat garrulous,
hilarious, illustrious...sight,
what with her
swelled up Betelgeuse orange
flesh somewhat sunkist bright
strove to bounce this light

resting, loafing, humming
like mister kite,
who always takes nap before sleep
got unstrung with minor fright
when both of us suddenly heard "thud,"
and driver side regarding single bunk

slumped noticeably lower, which excite
meant elicited presenting reedsy challenge,
and strategizing avoid rolling on floor,
a humorous lock horned dilemma plight,
she analogous to human meteorite
precariously propped, positioned, perched

courtesy eldest daughter,
who gave ample pillows fortnight
prior to relocating to San Francisco,
California, a stellar future
"star student" sought to ignite
where struggling dirt poor

mama and papa squeezed, pinched
jinxed financially tight
scrambling to remain homeless
which dire circumstance... right,
would immediately curtail
ample leisure time to write.

Out of necessity, we could live
in 2009 Hyundai Sonata until cold
temperatures idle forced us to hold
each other, this despite
my tendency to twitch, a told
foregone conclusion spelling misery

especially if the snoring mold
did doughy wife additionally
prone to scold
and get snappy if unable to affix
CPAP contraption told
to attach to face when lying down
to alleviate sleep Apnea

a common malady bold
forthright primary care physician
stated excess weight major
contributing factor never foretold
back in the day when spouse

light as feather, and yet
contradictory cuz each fold
of adipose tissue
increases her cost when
measured against gold.
Hub bomb bin hubble emotional wreckage
tell tale signs of internal war
ah, there moost be lifelong conspiracy
afoot for a Galician voar

try as I might to Lyft myself
out of penury...this Uber
scribe reckons way back when,
my life took a irrecoverable dee tour,

tis neither pity nor philanthropic succor
this poor man asks,
but just the chance to roar
(albeit within structures of silence)

shaky psychological scaffolding
built from shabby and poor
Scottish matted Harris tweed
material re: mailhouse order

(same as me bartered bride)
assembly required blueprints defied
comprehension, and thus...only my
into whoosh shin as singular guide,

which puzzling quandary sorely
tested frustration, I could not hide
overstressed mental cogs, and
wheels issued steam from inside

the bowels (ah... oh...
moving) within this, nor
thorn prickly human being, more
or less condemned to live
in this mancave, where folklore...
I don't believe that bupkis,
about some ****

rubble, but...nonetheless,
yours truly unable to account
for this...friggin landmine miss fore
chin, where nuttin boot

this misanthrope jammed
in a hole like EEyore
moost all bajillion years living in the dark...
as if... yeah ****** in the core

of a black hole, thus
the best available
explanation given destiny did ride
me roughshod into the maw of despair,

now no matter these gnarled
arthritic hands unable to...
ugh...heave **...grunt
purportedly nada so easy slide

anatomical pieces together
according to schematic
drawing, aye tried,
hence best this crabby hermit vied
to be condemned remaining separated
(since birth), sans
webbed world infinitely wide.
Despite cosmetic surgery to stave
inevitable demise cheating grim reaper
indefatigable measures undertaken
buzzfeeding mortal legacy bajillion
dollar industry remaining eternally

youthful cold comfort knowing eventual
degradation conquers biological aging,
yet open casket bestows approving
nods upon aesthetic corpse denouncing
any telltale evidence rigor mortis stole

once hearty life source attested by
tranquil poise, albeit deathly stillness
former body electric forever quiet
among the mourning crowded house
impossible mission to still flowing tears

emotionally poignant moment onlookers
suddenly ever acutely aware their
demise guaranteed, an inalienable pact
linkedin with birthright, this scribe ponders
figuratively digging unearthing morbid

fascination with afterlife, yet neither
hastening mine demise, neither fearing,
protesting, nor ululating unproductive futile
entreaty against transient fleeting
consciousness, asper one carbon based

entity, who wonders if other creatures
great and small revile, (or perchance
question) authority, vis a vis temporarily
bequeathing forces procreative and
subsequently terminal, maybe other

species less insightful meditating being
gifted with sense and sensibility without
pride nor prejudice to speculate, deliberate,
articulate...regenerative processes that
eventually co opt breathing, functioning,

longing versus pensive postulating post
mortem phenomena, pinging noggin within
noggin of one weatherbeaten, haggard,
cadaverous **** sapien in truth...he
admits being petrified, what...whereat

lapsing millenniums found yours truly
cursed by Gorgons remaining forever
stone cold harboring no recollection
about livingsocial enjoying good n plenti

"FAKE" experiences trumpeting conspiracy
theories – fools like me (rush'n), where
angels fear to tread including collusion
explaining my ill fate.
(Idea engendered from Lombok earthquake: Indonesia)

Nary a ***** of illumination pierces thru
thick cavernous rock solid chamber home
     to this crepuscular anchorite,
who spent untold countless chunks of time
holed up deep underground

     initially to escape deadly blight,
that afflicted vast swaths of
twenty first century
     long fostered civilization,
the post apocalyptic scattered remnants
forced into subterranean redoubts
reliant on stowed away tallow

uber wax to forge poorly guided
niggardly flickering burning candlelight
where quotidian ritual entails doth dight
this Jainist Joplin ascetic, who
     already donned the mantle,
     sans adjustment to darkened eyesight
imposing keen aural habituation

     to discern, and distinguish any fright
full scurrying, skittering,
     slithering, unseen presence
     triggering thine nostril to sneeze,
     which nasal (gesundheit) claxon
serves to scarify shadowy silhouetted height

giving infinitesimal pause,
     thence worry free insight
since my judicious jumbled
     juxtaposed metaphorical jacklight
philosophies, viz Jainism, Jesuit,
     and Judeo-Christian allows
     no cavil, indiscriminate killing,
nor **** sapien superiority

toward multitudinous life forms instilled
     into former existence as good Samson Knight,
now effectivel embedded,
     entombed, and interred
     within bowels of the Earth
hum canticle refrains
     softly enunciating such psalms
     to eternal night.
165 · Sep 2019
Iamb beak peck tammy eater
Every friggin day
mother hen runs amuck,
while all chicken's
beady eyes appear awestruck
drawing particular
agitation, irritation, perturbation...

of Punxsutawney (Doctor) Phil
(well grounded) woodchuck,
the latter glaring at henpecked
yours truly rifled
tail feathered rooster,
whether communicating

nonverbal sympathy
towards me, a garden variety
Gallus gallus domesticus  dumbstruck,
who doth make feeble attempt
albeit without explaining
rhyme or reason

poetic, plaintive, pathetic... cluck,
regarding doomed pyrrhic victory
against incessant cackling
more fowl and upset
than goosed duck,
she that casus belli hideous source

feels cooped up bred to lay eggs
absent any pleasure to fµç*
out her tail feathers fin
hushed yoked for sole purpose
mutter under beak, what the "huck"
subsequently, she takes frustration

buzzfeeding me 'bout chained to
chicken feed to earn
******* (yours truly) favorable luck
yielding "FAKE" farmer
Matthew Scott Harris megabuck
regarding top quality accolades

raves subsequently generate
he invariably feels moonstruck
matter of fact expanded business
necessitating workers to drive
state of the art rigorous motortruck
the missus decries mistreatment

scratching thru mire and muck
to fill little beasts in belly,
eventually retired, repurposed
relieved invariably chef
buoy or gull hardy sole destiny,
whereby one or another

hired hand will gingerly pluck
every spruced, primped,
groomed... feather
in short shrift priming
precious helpless creature,
(who bemoans lack

of state bird status)
into slaughterhouse five
butchered, filleted (maybe), quartered...
routed to household kitchen
gamely served at potluck
toothpicks applied to teeth

loosening gristle unstuck
after appetites satiated
belt unbuckled years ago
purchased before Sears Roebuck
shuttered stores, plus
bought linens and things
comfortable pillow perfect to tuck

under drowsy sudden sleepy head
unaware coop d'etat mutiny hatched,
whereby sly fox weasels him/
herself to guard henhouse
finding petrified slack beaked
AC/DC powered chicken coop,
where prating poultry thunderstruck.
Cupid loosed a love potion
     laced arrow alas and alack
thy nineteen year young daughter
     Shana Aubrey, smitten
     with glassy eyed
     and feverish amorousness

     toward a English lad named Zak,
     she feels sad, cuz
     she iz to return back
to the United States
     less than a month
     (with my youngest sister Shari Todd,
     and her other family members
     of the Dunning claque

this papa, whose youth
     and ungathered rosebuds inter alia
     elapsed scores of years ago
n'er did find himself
     as the fetching beau
asper any pretty young thang,

     nar did I own
     a handy dandy blues clue
how to appease biological call viz,
     sowing wild oats
     as pubescent time came due

shortchanging natural predilection
     to gather rose buds at primal age
but took refuge within
     a hermetically sealed cage
which complex emotional
     edifice accessible equipage

then (and now) solely
     in my possession,
     yet needle, sans measuring gauge
now registers very low
     ****** excitation on face dial image.

Though mine pre
     pubescent young life bereft
shot thru being gun shy,
     hence threadbare warp and weft
and as an emotionally troubled teen,
     never livingsocial, left
a gaping figurative hole,
     aye n'er didst

     fabricate essential heft
tee warp and woof, upon
     which adult inter
     personal linkedin knit wit
     get solidly stitched
     instead an irreparable threadbare cleft

where tapestry remains unwoven
     though more deft
nothing but cold embers left
nor apropos for this lix spit tilled
     aged rooster, who can barely cluck
to romp in accordance
     as a young buck
or squawk like a trumpeting

     drake hula hooping duck
thus, twas glad and
     breathed sigh of relief when,
     thee punim summoned
     verve and pluck

to chap up affinity to discover
     visa vis unbridled passion
unlike this old man
     with youthful romance,
     he never didst truck!
Blame Neptune for unleashing
     Indonesian tragic phenomena
     just by his innocent wink
merely intended by regular
     casual reminder
     for Earthlings to think
seriously how (inhabited
     linkedin chain of islands,)

     yea kinda resembling a slink
key, within the ring of fire,
     a large 40,000 km
     (25,000 mi) horseshoe shape, -
     Yukon also envision
     a vague watery rink
encompassing basin of Pacific Ocean,
     where e'en the subtlest plink

(no doubt unintentional), thus
     absolutely necessary for inhabitants
     to catch the latest
     drift (albeit continental),
    he gave forewarning
     just days prior,
     possibly relayed after
     getting tipsy from overdrink,

hence warning not taken seriously,
     where majority resident didst
a practical joke got played,
     yet a coterie of attentive people
     accoutered in faux mink
(dressed to the nines
     fur a gala fete
     also taken by surprise,

     no one sensed
     any sudden high jink
     then the cleaners),
and really the entire
     population sustained strong kinship
     with (what they believed
     tubby) reasonable god
     (a carry over from Greco

     Roman Times font size 12),
     hence could never suspect,
     he would hoodwink
boy (and girl), whar
     they ever wrong, come
Friday, 28 September 2018
     at 17:02h military time,
     or 7:02 post meridiem

an earthquake measuring 7.4
     on Richter magnitude scale
     leaving Indonesian island
     of Sulawesi in total ruins,
     from said rat fink
and additionally webbed,
     wide whirling countersink
triggered a massive tsunami

     razing humongous *****
essentially wiping off the map
     in an eye blink,
whereat his lordship
     could not be reached,
     thus survivors bethink

sum man tricks brought
     water ship down,
     ah buoy big boon
dog gull upon his head,
    boot nonetheless ****
    sitter ably less of Neptune!
Two fatal head on
     deadly automobile accidents
     in quick succession at
     Zieglerville, Pennsylvania
     poetic traffic circle
     killed me twice today,
this communique notated, recorded,
     and transcribed adieu "say"

je nais sais quois eh
by divine angels, who aided
this deceased jay
bird, said winged
     saviors didst sashay
in mine close proximity, this lifeless
     badly damaged body
     sprawled on the road,

when just by the "FAKE"
     skin of my...er...dentures,
     I **** invisibly
     whisked toward unearthly safety,
     and (just in the nick
     of time before corpse
     of mine thorough lay
underwent aught top say),

this generic *****
     donor and eBay
trader found himself shunted
     into an expansive
     cerebral, cerulean,
     and celestial heavenly
     gate atmospheric quay
king cosmic arena,

     where Cupids practiced play
ying getting strangers lovestruck
     when rehearsals debuted, yay
nearly finding this
     wordsmith spell bound
     yours truly with a may
zing starry eyed,
     and stir craze zee,

the first female
     (coincidentally, a head
     over heels teenage crush)
aye didst yip ***
mon decaying flesh
     felt WOWed, cuz she
never looked better re:
eternally sleeping with her

     stone face, prithee
one, where death be
     not proud did justice,
     yet rules forbid fraternizing
     with deceased, nee
     (repudiating no exceptions
     against gender bending
     strictures) amidst soul asylum,

     could witness punishment, nay
saying of guilty party landing
squarely into jailed
     into the absolute
     worst hellish clinker
     back to the future as
     joining every other
     mere mortal upon Earth,

     next best option offered
     aside from (undying soul
     reveling in immortality),
     would be fate offered,
     by Scott, sans the blimey
(hen pecking) road

     less traveled me
disappointing fate,
     where alternative possibility,
chosen minus collisions, and
     absent adolescent
     post mortem inamorata.
Ah Sheik Hog - **!
One "FAKE" Wingman
think Monty Python's
Flying Circus skittering
on thin ice - Skidamarink
a ****, a ****...

hither and yon, to and fro
Via O'hare To Dublin y'know
Cuz, The Leprechaun within
me, no spring chicken bro,
nevertheless oz offer friendship in toto
good day to thee with cheerful adieu.

Though nowhere to be found despite search team
loudly trumpeting thru depleting fresh air
supply terrestrially polluted atmosphere,
asper the unknown whereabouts, regarding
said royally titled quasi legally inherited bare

naked lady loving ******* oven heated affair
son last seen donning Herringbone Wool headwear
supplemented by Irish merrino wool sweater
and custom made Hemp (smoking hot) pants
informing observer with seedy, faux debonair,

and pseudo (reed "FAKE") suave cultured couture
clothing automatically camouflaging to disappear
without a trace, thee alluded to rival to the throne
(Irish to keep ye in the dark) like chocolate eclair
secret recipe (one takes to the grave), unless held

at gunpoint by bonafide Machiavellian consigliere
ruthless if necessary forcing captive to declare
high fidelity, indemnity, loyalty, et cetera to a
life of lawlessness adopting anonymous incognito
guise accepting bewig noggin with long knotty hair

tattoo skin with "FAKE" scars to accentuate fear
factor accepting (cryptic blood bonded) brotherhood till
death do you part loot, pillage, vandalize, et cetera
in a blitzkrieg effort (albeit violently) to repair
evenly distribute disparity between 1% and 99%

grassroots uprising (peopled with migrants) spear
writ ting their exploitation at the (Taj Mahal) bear
sized paws swiping at susceptibility, vulnerability,
inequality, et cetera series of unfortunate events
decreed, instilled, ordained clamped like ironware

shackling one generation after another, an outright
outdated, on par as anachronism, feudalism, stoicism
where stark difference between rich and poor unfair,
especially, *** the latter labor sweat of their brow,
which backbreaking toil essentially endows wealthy
at expense of grunt work signalling ominous nightmare.
which I can prov-olone huck curd
(within Trump con feta ration) – as cheesy poem!

Yea of course writing ideas unstoppably
burst asunder at the most inconvenient
opportunities such as driving Miss Daisy,
taking a shower, or using the bathroom.
Accursed ambition becoming a prolific
wordsmith (case in point Stephen King)
Woolworth riding, oddly lumbering
lackadaisical shoehorning out this
being from a self made gully. The jury
yet to decree if attempting to extricate

muss elf from tangled web of decades
old setbacks via literary output successful.
Every morning, noon and night, this chap
blunders, flounders, (like a phish out of water),
yet plod his shipshape reclusive quiet-natured
person along the boulevard of broken dreams.
Oft times, huff hind aye muss elf entering The
Dead Zone (bordering a Pet Sematary). Earlier,
a previous saunter found me surmounting
The Green Mile. Attendant in regard to these

Bag Of Bones, and Desperation to acquire
telephone contact with Cell phone quickens
pace despite Insomnia. No matter unexpected
Sleeping Beauties warrant kisses, my determination,
motivation, and slight trepidation occasionally breeds
(The Dark Half), doomsday facet deftly jackknifing lust.
Occasionally, a feeble goading simply under minds
any corporeal aim to restore endeavor to experience
Joyland. IT (creative juices within) spur meeting Rose
Red and her restorative powers. Onward atheistic

soldier goes this chap. No matter tipping point (vis
a vis hungry fatigued body clamors for Needful Things.
Revival (for food and sleep) frequently appears grim.
Downcast state of body, mind and spirit reinforced
by mirage. The Dark Tower looms ahead! Adjacent
to ominous evil looking structure silhouette casted
of a Black House. The initial ambition to ward off
abysmal results summon forth creative literary juices.
Simultaneously a migraine headache pounding pitted LIX.
They hammer horrifically, ferociously, and diabolically.

Shades of shad rock Under The Dome. Ma noggin
Aches like The Tommyknockers! Every attempt to locate
a royal crowning coeval counterpart jinxed with laborious
ill luck. Hell in a handbasket plight usually generates
nostalgia for destiny to Carrie be back to Old Virginny.
Sage advice from Christine, Delores Claiborne, or The
Colorado Kid, yours truly blithely heeded. As a result
(The Outsider within this paperback writer wannabe)
sports defeat written all over face. Concomitant figurative
futility gussies and kickstarts leaving invisible pockmarks.

Ordinary Dreamcatcher fate invariably finds aptly named
Writer Errs Block. Need to back track arises (figuratively)
along vista. The roads have no name. They command
stubborn respect. Near impossible mission manifested
To transcend mental hindrance. This more difficult than
playing Gerald's Game. Hence sigh embrace The Shining
opportunity to avoid Misery. Doctor Sleep would undoubtedly
encourage braving, challenging self confronting The Eyes
Of The Dragon. Such a risky pursuit could force facing pitbull
Cujo. No matter gamble foisted prospect fraught frightfully

being burned at the stake by a Firestarter. Voluntary action
brings small hairs to tingle. Hunchback, sans severely curved
spine straightens. This (The Stand) ding pose offered supreme
vision as promised by The Talisman. Tidbits by me alias
Mr. Mercedes carefully just in case The Girl Who Loved
Tom Gordon chanced to stumble upon this redoubt versus
her hours spent staring at a blinking cursor. Metaphorical
po' wet tick feet took me where they would into the Shining
and happy place called Willoughby located within the outer
limits of the twilight zone.
Ah...yeah...exhaustion as previously related awoke from extensive frantically grabbing handy anchor rites, while aswirl within a vortex of time stream. Nonetheless, aye did manage to get a sneak peak at my future twenty two years from now.

     Let young-bloods zip (per) across milieu of spatial time fifth dimension! No more coming and going back to the the future! Just by the amazing Grace (slick ride on a outdated Jefferson Aeroplane) found this beastie boy pitched thru of an unforgettable journey, now among familiar village people, who comprise his literati culture club. This doggone rough draft (written a tad more'n one score years from present) summarily sketches mein kempf among a raft taking heads, sans family, especially goo goo dolls grand kin.

     This veritable unknown widower felt the mood of nostalgia, hence he took a mental stroll back many decades where at sat at the laughably now primitive macbook. He wistfully experiences snippets of flashbacks pertaining to his rather bland humdrum life.

     The recurrent pallor of despair hung like a virtual "iron curtain" shutting out capacity to enjoy life to the max. Social anxiety the pernicious pet peeve that induced much chunk of time to be voluntarily shuttered inside a soundproof stainless steel bunker carved deep within the bowels of the earth. Oft times longevity seems like a curse with unforgettable past...

(particularly prepubescent days of yore –
revenant sans deep pressed matinee with grim reaper hid as alloy

well…sit back and enjoy this vignette –
many moons since mine being a boy
a core sampled striated fragment
of existence from a Semitic goy
my life in the year twenty forty ah hoy
interspersed with a sprinkling of joy
some re: dears may bow out
and i.e. averse to this lyrical ploy.

     I celebrated my eighty first birthday this past January thirteenth. Just nineteen more journeys for the big bright wheel in the sky to turn before this curmudgeon reaches centennial milestone. The coterie of grandchildren (Arial, Castellar, Cooper Black, Georgia, Pristina, Ravie, Rockwell and Vivaldi) apprised me as their favorite Zayda...
165 · Dec 2019
Euphoric mood
Amazing what difference
riel (real) money (not Fake)
in the Citizens Bank checking account
(thank you social security disability -
monthly dollop transient

peaceful easy feeling doth make),
I savor bliss courtesy
cache buffer affords,
cuz psyche temporarily
ceases to quake
analogous with cerebral

colliding tectonic plates
invariably colliding crashing
racket noggin make
kith to unbearable, intolerable,
execrable, abominable ache
I ardently welcome Ragnarok,

(final destruction of the world -
conflict between the Aesir and
powers of Hel led by Loki —
called also Twilight
of the Gods).

As ye correctly
surmise and conclude
lack of legal tender
(think unpaid bills)
finds yours truly

agonizingly to brood
fearing absolute, when
zero moolah triggers
potential impending homelessness

of one garden variety generic
gluten free, NON
GMO poetic dude,
and the misses,
which I cannot exclude

(yoked for life,
though she does prepare
exquisitely scrumptious food
for myself and boyz

zen (Barry) in the hood
to save face going
incognito donning lewd

wig trumpetting van
nitty, while Beethoven
rolls over in no playful mood
Nadia even aroused by ****
lady, yea possibly
demeanor logically misconstrued,

cuz yours truly haint *****
nor *** addicted fiend,
oh by the way please excuse rude
or inapropro material (see
previous poem Irrelevant boyhood

arcane flotsam and jetsam...) trued
toward tipping point quasi crude,
especially... nah to embarrassed
best for reading between lines viewed
courtesy regular unleaded followers.

Words to the wise
advantageous to relish
(don't forget) ******
mint and exercise
unfettered joie de vivre

as priceless prize
letting giddiness rise
within corporeal essence
exuding worry free guise.
Stream of photons bathe
top heavy fountainhead of sunflower.

Analogous to Atlas
shrugging, hoisting, grappling...
with planet Earth, the heavyweight
discobolus buoyantly held aloft
upon robust stem
tracks the heavenly orientation
of said hypothetical nearest star.

This immense distance,
nonetheless still affects majestic seeded head
tracing weighty radial
circular motion in miniature, along the ground.

Imperturbable rotation evokes
invisibly linkedin plumbline
stretching approximately 92.96 million miles.

This number represents
average distance calculated
between solar body and oblate spheroid.

Greatest (more accurately farthest) interspace
separates sun and namesake
(scientifically identified inflorescence,
particularly called capitulum)
during late summer/ early autumn.

Said aphelion approximately
coincides with full blooming bouquet,
which quiet rioting,
snapchatting, twittering birds,
(who reddit in Daily Sun)
immediately golong orderly
pecking, kickstarting, buzzfeeding...
capital one fancy feast.

Nothing but mush shelled husk remains.

These gouged out hollowed insides
represent most successful plant
regarding said species.

Oft times newly planted seeds,
and/or transplanted shooted seedlings
(I bore witness),
and watched in horror
as tendered, nurtured, kindled...
vulnerable inchoate fragile tendrils
indiscriminately, gamely easily
plucked from ground zero.

***** nilly free for all allows, enables,
and provides ample opportunity
to observe fair and equitable distribution gifted
courtesy cornucopia fulfilling the maws
of hungry diverse terrestrial mouths to feed.

Invariably predators harbor taste
for unsuspecting oblivious
indulgent gourmandizing aves,
and quick make short shrift
despatching captive bird done deal.

Such happens tubby caw of the wild,
cuz copacetic, holistic, organic,... paradigm
embraced by yours truly steeped
within ethos, whereby the mighty heft
wielded by **** sapiens must not signal
green light for deadly pesticides
to exterminate delicate of world wide web.

Despite being one crazy and fungi,
I feel him mold dinned
to relish resultant morning glory
awash with beaming, strapping, waxing...
yellow petaled ray flowers offering me
an Uber spiritual lyft shining
upon countenance of
returning native son!
And join (singing the words
in the next paragraph) whether alone
in a traffic jam
basting, cooking, then eating a lamb
prepared by thee missus
a superb culinary madam.

“A Ram Sam Sam” Lyrics
A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A rafiq, a rafiq
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A rafiq, a rafiq
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam.

The following dereliction of truth
heavily influenced
my babe of mine name Ruth
(think prevarication forsooth)
essentially crafted countless years,
when yours truly
courtesy parochialism bred cooth
preserved timeless tintype of me
many moons ago
sitting pretty (once a bonny lad)
with his innocent lass
perched on mine bony knees
while forced lip tulip in kissing booth.

Unlike centenarian
who crafts  these words,
perchance yar juiced
a young whippersnapper man or woman
maybe born, bread and raised
in the city that never sleeps,
or dwelt in the boondocks or sticks,
catch some 'possum or squirrel
and as a loyal son or daughter take a tram
to enjoy a tasty repast

with widowed momma,
cuz ever since da
yo papa passed away....,
a futile attempt made to fill that void
awash with more'n than half a century
of wedded bliss,
whereat purposelessness pervasive
per surviving mother,
who feigns happiness, regales others
with showers of affection,

and remains active feeding her avocation
comprising striving and succeeding
to be adept within the culinary arts
thru self taught trials and errors
of brave taste testers
(which guinea pigs ought
to get medal of honor for bravery),
though her exemplary cooking reputation
exceeds five star Michelin rating
through meticulous

and exacting measured ingredients,
she glides within the kitchen
however occasionally,
a fork and spoon slips to the floor
which inexplicable
gravitational alchemical phenomena
fuses separate pieces of cutlery
into one eating implement
whereupon a dead reckoning
takes shape, that "mum"

might be in mortal danger
per inconspicuous cooking tool,
whence ya stop SnapChat tin
and shutterfly as greased BuzzFeed
twittering like a bat out of hell -
ya swoop down smash mouth facebook first
presaging a fatality visiting  
upon the head of mum
(her christened name Chris Anne thumb -
the last appended word

linked with her diminutive size),
who intently engrossed,
keenly self absorbed,
and rapt attentively
with tasks at hand
most likely oblivious
to potential safety dukes of hazard
as a benevolent offspring temporarily
take instagram reprieve,
and utilize fancy footwork

tote hillbilly tubular re: turn
to counterpoise vis a vis
match less laws of physics,
whereby toe tulle lee tubular
test tick yule har kickstarter antics applied
to kindle hurly burly gnarly flatware bach up
adjacent to state of the art beet oven
which upright pedal
poised pose like leverage incorporates
quickly donning improvisational

makeshift faux cuirass
with suitable culinary accoutrements
stringing together various
geometrical metal trays
and tin *** for helmet,
whereby a strategic
stance thence established,
where inert stainless steel
buffoon glaring spork
would be forced

to take tailspin upwards,
whence fingers grab
innocuous lethal weapon,
which self entertainment learned
while stationed in a rack
run amuck mess hall rowdiness
taught said table mannered tricks
magic mike moment imitating hotmail -
glorified footlocker earthlinked craft,
where whatsapp tinder penned didst

inviting Barack Obama
to zap hiz frankfurter foot,
when he made a syrup prize visit
nobly endeavoring without evincing
auld trumpetting donning shoe purr action
trained first with dominant topface toes
alternating with recessive
opposing shod totally tubular taps
until fancy footwork became ambipedal
balancing ball of left

or right foot atop tine
or dish of fork or spoon respectively
as stray stainless steel ware defying gravity
gracefully leapt - somersaulting
in a pirouette pinwheel linkedin arc
tine and/or miniature
shovel scooper over handle
kin ur pinion (all things considered)
an eye opening experience
and the simple pleasure one can derive
from practicing strategy
trigonometry, spatial relations.
164 · Jul 2018
In Prays Of Legal Tender
Preface:
Aye do attest
that poetry may not be best
to express whoosh to chest

*** a lee till bitta chump change
boot an overpowering literary force
   to pocket earning for a grange
(hmm...who knows maybe

   formerly owned by Jessica Lange
thence might be within my financial range
even though this har chap
   moo cho decades older
   than college student - iz that strange?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Half hearted GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST--- or
subtitled (IN PRAYS OF LEGAL TENDER).

Let this dog gone prime mate
   ova simian sketch out
   his general doggerel to free
unleashing a swiftly tale lord
   of the flies - harried styled

   brush stroke of strengths
me retracted claws, which might find me
   barking up the wrong tree
   arf find yarself cat a tonic lee taking a nap
   in the land of doctor ah zee.

akin to a termite expending energy
   thru wood to bore search sans income
   an arduous slow book king chore
   thus, i spruce quest per
   my non-conformist poetic
   je ne sais quois x cell lent

   cover letter de jour 4u2 access and for me
   to entertain as a minimum less or more
and then...whoosh into  
   circular filing cabinet ye will store
this non-formal reap ply,
   which email will take cyberspace tour.

Pixar could nada pay enough
   for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so i wonder if any chance
   whisker of employment
vis a vis thru this contrived virtual toy story,
   qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize opening virtual community chest

   into a likely monopoly winning chance
such an idea generates me
   to shrek out with excitement n contra dance
just in case a glimmer prospect exists
for this self anointed bard,
   and one who dislikes formality
of zee mainline presents
   a brief poo whet tick summation
   sans technical skills,

   he hopes to enhance
p'raps earn enough moolah
   to sight see arc d'triumph,
   Louvre, Paris France,
   i offer the following poetic expression
   for ye to take a glance
and help this intuitive **** sapiens income
   to expand and en-hance
which byte size bit torrent humor
   without use of strong arm, nor lance

   might cause ye to soil pants
after misinterpreting mishmash
   as twittering er
   angry bird raven rants
even part time income exists
   worth considering, sans positive stance
   a subtle intent worth hiring 2 sway
   au currant series electronic charge
and ideally affect hypnotic trance.

I betcha never red poe sting “FAKE”
   job seeker i.e. this faux
   iambic pentameter electronic wire
   from a boyish looking blood muggle
   father although up in years
   (whose nonpareil courage
   to face Voldemort never does tire)
and two young adult daughters
   (gnome hatter they flew the coop),

   would consider him a worthy hire
nada necessarily to rake in gobs
   of legal tender, nor
   to satiate unquenchable hunger
   a pawn game of thrones lifelong player,

   boot if someone would pay me to reed
ah...a twofold objective would be a blessing
   both slaking thirst plus acquiring knowledge
   specifically powerful bits
   of computer know how to acquire.

Although this cover letter of sorts
   conveys teensy weensy, itty bitty
byte size actual work experience
   (per this older rhyme stir,
   who lives ~ 40+ miles

   north west of philadelphia city)
nonetheless, i hanker
   (NOT to be confused with HACKER)
   though disparate deeds offset
   by difference of third letter
to employ computer

   and writing skills,
   squarely rooted tidbits of moxie
   playing at nearby Roxy
burrow, which prompts
   the following ditty
expressing interest to apply mental tasks

   micro electronic aptitude trouble shooting
some may ascribe as nitty gritty
on par with secret life of Walter Mitty
whom destiny protected and took pity
this merely meant to be silly
   yet also my feeble attempt tubby witty.

No matter how many miles by car
(actually your company might be
   within dead man walking distance)
   opportunity would not be considered far
to use acumen huck cull interest
   and technologically spar
+ graphical user interface programs
   to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter might be faux pas
   not the traditional standard genre
   for a job offer, but i see no reason why
   non-conformist modus operandi
cannot serve as mode to communicate
   non trivial pursuit,

   viz computer technician supporter
   and paperback writer wannabe,
   cuz i love each of the 26
   english language symbolically logical letter
which honest to goodness confession
   hopefully offers unique outlook re:
   other respondents at least a bit better.
between incontinence and constipation

Irritable bowel syndrome i.e.
the former excretory bout I address
the above (polite way to phrase diarrhea)
and avoid moon efficient cheekiness,
yours truly doth buttress,
a literal warranted pain in ***,
diametrically up poses,
and disinvites loving caress,
nevertheless yours truly
experienced gastrointestinal distress

countless times experienced ****** duress,
when anticipatory anxiety triggered excess
indomitable heavenly gorgeous fortress
mandating visits to the porcelain goddess
else.. heavily soiled underwear
necessitating by George thoroughly good
scouring utilizing heavy duty gloves
nsync accessing generations
old washboard and handpress.

Nowadays more often than not,
I suffer incapacity to whoop
and holler at healthy excretory
system (of the down), but troop
hunkered over (think
Hunchback of Notre Dame)
at ground zero smack dab dagnabbit,
where birds of prey swoop

doubled over in agonizing pain
believe me you, this fickle fella
experiences excruciating difficulty to ****
mein life passes before third eye blind
and joie de vivre to exclaim L'Chaim
takes kamikaze nosedive and ability
to savor existence significantly doth droop.

Nevertheless alleviation when at long last affright
dying upon commode,
when colorectal **** orifice obstruction airtight
cursing posterior dire straits regarding
(you bet your bottom dollar)
occasions behind stricken with blight
worse fate than losing cocked cat fight
malfunctioning ****** scenario analogous

loosing life versus death dogfight
plummeting at warp speed
within psychedelic atmospheric Earthlight
recognizing demise (mine)
on par jeopardizing ability,
cuz jammed alimentary canal
disallows lightening payload Humpty dump
(Thoreau Lee walled din)
and doomed as endangered bumblebee's flight
and snuffed out as quaint sputtering gaslight
era when commercial gas became available in

early 19th century in Europe and America...
see - https://www.thespruce.com/
the-gaslight-era-2175011
to glean at least one more highlight
though gaining such spruced insight
contributes no more or less than jacklight
neither rhyme nor reason why
wily prevaricating good knight
informs ye to understand might

of Matthew Scott Harris this night
(April 27, 2020) no longer fraught
regarding his sorely overtaxed sphincter
he heromin vouchsafed and wooly vowed
to accept unconditional surrender
of body dysmorphia (mine) plight
resolved swallowing bleach
(a purgative he trumpets)
to eternally lived in peace quite.

Time and again liquified human waste
i.e. loose stools (mine)
flushing bowels unchased
down toilet shunted off to treatment plant
thick sludge consistency of (crust) toothpaste
repurposed for commercial
and individual use posthaste,

especially every resident of
Lake Woebegone Poker Flat outcaste,
who as token scapegoats
(no kidding) suffer tsoris
bullies unrelenting lambaste
harbor loathing, albeit strong distaste
towards those persons deemed
undeserving comprise untouchable caste.
(alternately titled: lion eyes hide sharp claws)

Aye attest tubby reincarnated
     from one male Russian Blue
species Felis silvestris catus
     named Morris if that gives a clue,
and during my fuzzy past
     hence, asthma “Cats Cradle”
     segued into kitten hood
     fur hum lee established

    type cats as (tin pan) alley cat,
     a rather litter boxed gritty debut
t'wood become (later in life) tabby
     quick as greased lightening
     snatching in the air,
     when tender vittles flew,
technically got fired (acquiring
     appropriate nick names)

     as fame (like a bushy cat tail) grew
viz perfect back up crooner
     for “Cat Stevens”,
     or lead singer for
     the "Stray Cats" oddly
coupled, featured, and
     incorporated with the guru
Horton Hears A Hoo,

yes him Elephant resembling
     a humungous mandrake
     from the, "Animals"
whose body heat could
     easily melt an igloo,
whereby Eskimos accepted charity from
     Korean philanthropists named Joo
     (founders of Palaces for Pachyderms)

these lumbering creatures possessed
     an exemplary photographic memory
     (rivaling that of the amazing
     deceased idiot savant
     Kim Peek) knew
practically every detail
     incorporating trunk their lines
     (and could track missing link,

when felines shared common ancestor
but,...such petty files would most likely boar
and go way off course, and hence
     will shy away being extempore
favoring a deliberate fore
ray padding around basically ignore
ring any rhyme or reason
suddenly ending this persiflage,
     and thence to thee bon jour
(in praise of immortality)

Modesty an understatement,
when eyes chance
to look askew at looking glass,
mine reflection caught at a glance,
an old man's piercing dart

mirrors my blinkered acquaintance
faint recognition communicates
immediate tacit admittance
boyish good looks faded
with morning glory of youth
as senescence didst advance.

Similar to the strikingly handsome
Dorian Gray, this mortal
strictly shares penchant to affiance
a pact with father time, and

devoutly pledge allegiance
to remain forever unaffected
with ill fated biological alliance
even if mandate to pay

with my soul as sole allowance
to stave off the ravages of old age
maintaining glowing ambience
of boyish good looks, or...die...
twill be to late for an ambulance

to rush lifeless body
forthwith to hospital emergency,
an immediate appearance
of rigor mortis, a dead give away.

Cumbersome degradation of
corporeal essence breeds arrogance
born of desperation,
where chronological ascendance
robs cherished commodity,

thus pained angst
to suffer aging accidentally evinced
looking askance
hints of unavoidable assistance
when wracked by incontinence,
thus rendering incumbent orderly attendance,

hence awareness awakened to singular
choice as avoidance,
where vigilance espies silent auction
as decrepitude ousts clutching buoyance
quickly fading steamrolling capacitance
to cling (by the merest thread)

fat or slim chance
against depredations of...
inevitable circumstance trumpeting
"NON FAKE" absent cognizance,
sans horribly wizened wrinkled countenance!
Intermediate Range Nuclear Forces
(INF) Treaty nixed, asper (gasp) infinite
wisdom (quite unsettling) trumpeting  
commander in chief de facto gave green

light, thus signals fasttrack, sans arms
race activating Armageddon churning
noble nuclear warheads **** the (not
so petty) torpedoes full steam ahead,

ramping up military industrial (intelligence
- ha) complex edifice global security
compromised detente tipping point
needle weighs heavily - scale lean

triangulation ratchets dramatic
apocalyptic fear each man knucled
(woman child) arms themselves to
the teeth bombs away doth not leave

mushroom to wiggle free of doom,
the human race on track to extinction
since the commander in chief did
rescind checks and balances on rogue

nations, now issuing free (grab bag)
for all warmongering states to stock
on fire sale of various and sundry
weapons of mass destruction ushering

exponential possibility slight sabre
rattling altercations will kickstart
World War III, but no victors will
emerge cuz every square inch of planet

Earth will be snapping, crackling
and popping with radiation fostering
disintegration, incineration, obliteration...,
among civilization with minuscule probability

no child will be left behind, (nor anybody
else for that matter), yet one need
not be a brain scientist, nor rocket
surgeon to predict the end of the world

as we know it (REM) minding any weekly
reader of TIME magazine, or other
reputable news source (such as Howard
Stern), any moment could deliver every
thing each of us cherish to go to hell in

a handbasket of deplorables) predicated
on the isolationist (nationalistic) posture
our dear leader steers this ship (unwieldy
leviathan) of state into totally tubular
unswerving pulverization!
Po' Whet Tick Dampened Curse = A
Worse Fate Than Death!

No idea when the incessant onset
of sweaty palms first burst forth,
nor why physiological symptom,
sans secretion spoils socialization
upon thy totally tubular handsome

grooves that criss cross the flat
skin surface of my hands. These
lines called 'palmar flexion creases'
develop before birth. This modern
day bipedal hominid i.e. human

primate attests (like the average
person) two main lines across the
palm but some have a single 'Simian
crease'. Profuse outpouring of
perspiration (as if Biblical Flood

gates opened) oft times directly
related to adrenaline coursing
through every pore sans the under:
side of my hands) reflexively
followed by swiping clamminess

(in vein) on clothing or woolen
pocket size cloth brought along
with me everywhere I go, (cuz
a lamb might not part ways
with mother Mary (of story

book fame), and this chap would
shear lee feel sheepish toting
extremely cumbersome to tote
in the event this intimation
predicated on decades worth

of experience, when in the throes
potential ordinary action re: guard
ding strongly shaking, grasping,
or holding hands took place
occurred sopping wet

clangorous human clapper,
(which frenzied trickling akin
to a vicious feedback loop),
my psyche feels under staccato
rat-a-tat siege from an enemy),

the natural inclination to with:
draw myself from “bad” company
of others helps stave of self-
consciousness. This avoidance
of socialization subsequently

impedes any promotion of hanker
ring viz genuine friendship,
employment and desiring care
free bona fide affectionate bond
ding with family of origin and/or

two precious progeny. Under:
standable, the human reaction
to shrink away and recoil quickly
when pressed to touch what feels

like a wet noodle. Ah…courtesy
of Google I now know sweaty
palms sports dignified name
known as palmar hyperhidrosis.
Here all along (meaning major

of my roam'n LIX chronological
hash tagged linkedin orbitz), this
plague constitutes bona fide
medical condition. Cold drippy
comfort! Also (minimally) re:

assuring to realize, this generic
guy need not count himself alone
in sopping wet wilderness re:
this plague. Such problematic
health condition impacts, comprises,

and affects one to two percent of
the world’s population. One
Doctor Riesfeld purportedly makes
hand over fist handsome income.
Will power alone seems a dauntlessly

futile endeavor to rid oneself of  
disruptive condition. Try as I might
to put lockdown on propensity
for sweat glands (synonymous
with the term eccrine) packed

within sub surfaces of hands, fore
head and feet. As linkedin to
sympathetic nervous system,
the body electric under stress
activates glands. Profuse moisture

dripping like a faulty faucet
severely affected everyday
activities of existence since a
young adult. Frustration to
complete a simple task such

as opening a doorknob, using
the laptop, and even writing
concomitantly associated with
droplets of water soiling green
sleeves to appear near saturated.

Without fail interpersonal ambitions
hi-jacked when wet as dishrag hands
found me disinclined to experience
social rejection. Though sprung
from overactive predisposition to

anxiety, these secretory organs
get exacerbated with dubiously
honorable privilege of being gifted
with panic attacks, offers little
comfort to sill lake consolation.
163 · Aug 2018
This Bumptious Poet ©
Once again dear reader,
     aye strive to regale ye
with in apropos prate,
     (nee inane) vain
null gibberish in order to suss stain
mine infamous reputation
     with the singular word pain
in thee...online

     literary milieu, where this main
stream (babbling virtual
     brook call lean)
tin hatted man,      
     qua zee moat tow "FAKE" King
     po' whit laureate selective keen
a boot (sally ling forth)
     hemming and hawing,

     while feigning bing
     a suave hill Billy blue jean
wearing brand Levi Strauss,
     (a posthumous plug)
     for a savvy German
     businessman hood deed glean
prospective market for
     denim made easy to clean

material donned by lumpen
     proletariat aye assert
     would be my status
     if born circa
     late eighteen hundreds by
a moo their and father,
     both named (Elisha) Eli
for short slaving away to feed,

     and clothe this then little guy,
who **** fain to appreciate my
(dirt poor station in life well nigh
larded with love,
     and non verbal re: ply
thee above fictitious
     i.e. "FAKE" parents rye
zing far and above

     penury and did try
their level best
     to hammer out
round the clock rockin
     round the clock
nsync with the paradigm
     of Abraham Maslow,
     albeit modified ad hoc

accepting with humility,
     poverty how to ****
key providing basic brood
     of offspring and subtly mock
king bourgeoisie, re: (unpretentiously
     unflattering discrete actions), while rock
king to thee western civilization
     trappings of schlock,

ah and oh...no doubt
precious time, aye
     did fritter and flout
     away distracting sorely tendered,
     kindled, and cherished attention
thus metaphorically affecting thee
     with equivalent, where
     yar entire body riddled with gout.
Anthropomorphic test device to explore
amply, cheaply tricked out with super tramping,
albeit unsophisticated trappings ceiling to floor
(available for purchase at Dollar store)
nonetheless unmanned spacecraft made
perfect landing upon alien nation i.e. red

planet's moon Phobos, meanwhile corps
engineers back at the ranch (nondescript
building) hi-fived each other perfect score
housed astrophysicists who didst monitor
remote control desktop exhaling relief for

misplaced anticipatory
uneasy tense premature
panic/fear transferred
figurative reins more
or less to onboard robots

re: exchanged pleasant bonjour
all around - as mission
impossible (most swore
could not be pulled off
without a hitch) successful procedure
to launch humanoid cargo spurred roar

as international teammates
(former rivals) just recently at war
liberated mutual accolades did reassure
each other, abe linkedin pact enterprise
predicated - regarding good rapport
witnessed courtesy delicate

present endeavor bore
invariably promised cheers galore
since assignment on shoestring budget,
would reap bajillions to sponsor
manned near future
outer space excursion hefty price tag

guaranteed state of the art - fourscore
and seven years ago proclaimed
men/women analogous
to pioneers of yore
solar system the new "wild west"
since Earth hereinbefore

now did offer, testimony tour
ring outer limits twilight zone
no way Jose extempore
modus operandi ditched
humanity to pollinate cosmos
ghost of Carl Sagan
would applaud as fitting encore.
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