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Dec 2020 · 274
The Ujjayi breaths
(pronounced – u jai yah)

The following haphazardly cobbled together some few years past (initially as a reasonable rhyme), nevertheless sustained discipline yours truly mather of fact doth cotton metaphorical gin still spins (yarn not gonna believe poppycock) within livingsocial as outcast of poker flats pun gent, whereby I strive to meditate successfully daily upwelling groovy sensation some hours doth last balloons within me buoying airborne courtesy spiritual blast.

Approximately three plus decades ago, I became ambitious to learn Yoga Asanas blow pesky mind chatter away (postures) despite inflexible body non coe whopper rating adamantly refusing to bend doe like (no just at the knee), but essentially flow wing stretches, while uncomfortably seated go wing to floor.

Mine physique experiences non Joe veal extreme difficulty involved simply seating stiff - NO can do sitting, whence, bony **** versus slightly more addy Poe posterior padding (viz junk in trunk) at present. The status quo mutter hoof act honest to dog cross my heart ambition roe bust lee expended to do more than sit on floor. Even slow lee sliding downward muscular flexion quite, a temporary restraining order i.e. TRO figurative and literal stretch.

Nonetheless, this persevering Lake wobegon soul lowered slender body, (when eye attended class) at Yo Yo ma intentional community within Sumneytown, Pennsylvania named Kripalu Yoga Community, where residents adapt macrobiotic diet under too till edge via auspices of cherished founder (Amrit Desai, i.e. Guru Dev).

Before entering sanctified space everybody removed their shoes often (now and again) guests welcome to partake regimen at said rue **** men tree idyllic retreat offering general public an opportunity true lee worth effort to experience this alternative lifestyle.

Though “U” might already be a pro unlike me, who didst barely progress as aye re: view memories toward greater flexibility minimally made one lasting whew benefit constituted of deep breathing asper you dull lies segue-way into light trance intended meditative zooming into mindfulness away from rat race. Even to this day, an effort gets made to set space aside time to transcend cares and concerns trace sing worry lines from uncertain future, and vase a versa if conditions favorable induce lightness – erase sing major concerns of being if perchance, face shill contortion asper body doth trite hoo easy and grace full flowingly, gently, harmoniously, indubitably lace limbs one into another - joyfully, kinesthetically, at comfortable pace.

Ewe experience lambent maneuvering naturally, optimally, peacefully, quietly, surreptitiously, et cetera into deep sleep of a hilly Edenic mirage tenderly controlling inhalation, and exhalation might seem silly, sans breathing hopefully remains sustained.

As a novitiate practitioner with ***** Wonka, this magical, modality (qua zee moat *** modus operandi) regarding, striving toward ultimately vast wrestled xfinity, yielding zestful fling away global concerns all the while grappling dutifully attaining jingling mystical state of consciousness, (perhaps mental experience a king dome all to itself, similarly venerated, vis a vis basically comprehend ping pong per positive phrases analogy, asper anyone who reads and understands this ring gull ling communique) as I attempt to describe mesmerize zing, mindset mosaic explicit words seem da fish hint.

Thus analogous self induce hypnotic cerebral deep minted experience possibly more clear to envision without stinting the reeder. Nonetheless, the conscious, deliberate guided “high” kickstarted courtesy Ujjayi breathing, which tint head breath comprises breathing technique employed in different
variety of Taoist and Yoga practices.

In relational mash mich hug gun flint sparking neurons to ascend Yogic exaltation, where mindset doth glint within casting glowing countenance whispering the ocean breath.

The length and speed of breathing aid did, controlled by diaphragm, strengthening braid did mental fiber which purposefulness of ujjayi without being fanatical, an effort gets made daily meditation teasing envisioned in laid within wafting warm waves (comprising grade “A” leased half hour, but no more than twenty four). If time constraints un war rented ala limited restraints disallow currying pour forth, the course fostering, inducing limned score arching relaxation merely practicing to open a door slow prolonged breathing bonjour can deliver (pizza pie) energizing feel akin to flying like Icarus above urban jungle roar.
While yours truly (me)
doth strives to maintain
comfortably seated
closed eye meditative pose
mine skinny sea thru legs
(mere fo' shaw
by George spindleshanks) outstretched,
(cuz Lotus position impossible mission -
would warrant emergency circumstance
leaving stalwart fellow
as permanent paraplegic)
even crossed legs painstaking ordeal),
nevertheless arms draped limply
and/or tucked under
respective knobby knee
herewith barely audible sighs
Ahab boomerang reverberating sound
can be faintly yet clearly heard
courtesy thee self trained
ventriloquist missus
indicating slightly perturbed air
immediately disrupting mine ascent
into transcendent state,
which self induced
light quasi hypnotic trance
doomed to suffer blistering defeat
despite best guru vee college try
subjected to additional
pronounced relentless interruptions
unavoidably eventually experiences
heavy set ****** mass
loosing violent figurative waters
witnessing severe mattress flexion
testing material strength
jackknifing irksome husband
precariously rocking zen
rolling poor buoy to and fro,
hither and yon
him sternly clinging
against steep odds
tossing last raft of lifeline
before pitching the
dreadfully knotted sir into limbo
challenging laws of physics
re: offsetting his center of gravity
think skiff madly scrambling
barreling, keeling, tipping over
analogous to bobbing
rickety weatherbeaten hulk
landing headfirst upon wooden floor,
where ohm man hiss expletives
immediately supplanting
formerly invoked mantra.
12/06/2020 03:41 PM.

Imagine a long and winding line
all the way to Jabip
upon the handle of small grocery cart
envision mine white knuckle grip,
as the misses commandeers
moseying up and down every single aisle,
whereby an electrocardiogram
would indicate spiky sinusoidal blip.

I experience social anxiety
and feel like screaming aloud,
particularly when series
of unfortunate events
finds your truly
within onrushing madding crowd.

Unfortunately courtesy divine comedy
one erstwhile indiscriminately
cast out obsolete player
creator endowed him
with his trademark shaky spear.

One hapless generic garden variety guy
plagued with panic attacks
accursed lifetime providence
hellacious interminable suffering
until permanent escape
quasi vacation deliverance regarding...,
when grim reaper doth
cometh and taketh me away.

Oh savior enshroud impotent mortal man
at long last terminating suffering
welcoming me into portal
I willingly surrender
and welcome release...
beckoning death be not proud.

Impossible mission to describe
how fast paced life in general
generates utter confusion
analogous to floundering trout
besieges mine mental redoubt
mental helter skelter all about
as if mine entire body electric

forced, kickstarted, subjugated...
to perform (yes folks) hokey pokey
mental gears and cogs
snapping, crackling, popping
inside tumbler like noggin
purportedly linkedin hashtagged
with schizoid personality disorder.

Onset of emotional paralysis
stops me dead in my figurative track
metaphorically wishing me to skuttle
back into hermetically sealed manhole
invisible among interleaved bract
where within mine secret cubby hole

I play knick knack paddywhack...
to idle away leisure time
as well as solve crossword puzzles
meditate (on the gift of a watermelon pickle)
while listening to natural soundtrack,
and self hypnotize courtesy biofeedback.
Siege warfare linkedin with aberrant behavior
transpires within me mind,
(not just today December 5th, 2020,
but everyday/365)
warrants depleting stockpile arsenal
constituting exhausting mental health
uprooting deep seated repellent pesky
daunting lost cause.

Overruled by irrational thoughts,
I feebly muster a lame duck
half quacked comeback
(think home team cheering at pep rally)
against analogous figurative agents provocateur
said nemesis bore down hard

upon sense and sense abilities
mine psyche undergoing
blistering, hectoring withering, et cetera
courtesy ghost of Emily Brontë
mailer daemons flitting to and fro,
hither and yon within wuthering heights.

Another necessity Emma gin)
awoke prided prejudice
to confront head on
beastie boy foo fighting (Irish,
no matter genealogy regarding
yours truly Eastern European)
mine talking head housing
private insane asylum.

Incomprehensible thought processes
chronically spin out of control
dictate mandate NOT to wash hair
until at least one week passage of time,
(an arbitrarily chosen number
i.e. seven days convenient block)
even if appearance looks unkempt, slovenly
grungy, et cetera as nirvana seeking guy.

Thus, I readily admit self held hostage,
whereby loopy thought provoking patterns
hopelessly, grimly, futilely find me surrendering
NEVER eradicating down battened ramparts
neurotic, lunatic approved, idiotic
mind mental chattering
babbling jabbering gibberish
housing concocted village people
dead set against shampooing oily locks.

Quite a tussle (think metaphorical hair pulling)
ensues within me scrambled noggin,
whereby pathetic psychotic pummeling
win knows scrimmage
scoring touchdown amidst
teaming muted brouhaha

allowing, enabling, and providing
harmlessly insane nettlesome
pesky skewed notions
ridiculous leeway to predominate
until yours truly USDA
qualified, hashtagged, certified...
as grateful dead among human league.

I generally mean mine mien mental state
moost occasions heavily marinated stupor
long established as external trait
psychologically time tested trooper
impossible mission to kickstart sanity
doppelgänger regularly revisits his soul asylum
hellbent antimatter he cannot vitiate
despite therapeutic laxative merely exhausts

well bred literate smoking doobie brother
eliminating aforementioned pablum
witnessed courtesy one floundering grouper
among plenty of fish schooled
hyphenated (high finned haggled)
burn hushed scaled poem
courtesy one unionised rebellious party pooper.

Spellbound with colossal mental grippe
(i.e. all-consuming figurative cerebral
obsessive compulsive forced membership)
magnetic resonance imagine indicated jagged blip
and/or nsync microscopy
showed telltale genetic authorship

regarding above stated mental health crisis,
whereby Sigmund Freud analyst did flip
lid freeing leeches imported courtesy Philip
Hansel and Gretel a mere slip
o' lass whose nose she always did turnip.
December first 2020 equals
thee above named sibling
whereby she completed
LXIII earth orbits around the sun
therefore incumbent upon me
(cuz yours truly to wish happy birthday

at receiving end of much largesse)
to wax poetic regarding beloved sister,
which brother of yours feels blessed
to experience and count
thee as his eldest sibling.

On clocking one year after another,
(which orbitz around the sun)
whip away approximating light speed)
I feel pitched to and fro, hither and yon
into the maws of utter madness,

and thee utmost like an anchor
serve to buttress mine emotional duress
more so acknowledged later in our lives
no matter steadfastness
of heartfelt care and concern

prevailed these three score years of mine
prompting yours truly to reflect
especially those vicissitudes
severely testing psychological mettle,
whether twas mine

tumultuous, opprobrious, hellacious...
descent into abyss of despair
(think bout with anorexia nervosa
that cost me mental, physical
and social expense),

I still figuratively pay the piper,
hence continue to rue
rarely ever taking stock
concerning unwavering love
toward one (me),

who fell short reciprocating gratitude,
where pseudo maternal tendering occurred
during formative boyhood
and even into emerging
adulthood days of mine.

Though just thirteen plus months my senior,
ye donned role as guardian
bullies ye did verbally cuff
when I got decreed as scapegoat
passively resisted brickbats,
til badasses sucker punched,
mocked, chided wimpy me more'n enough,
hence when bullies
saw yar ferocity they ran,

cuz ye took no guff
said mean kids took off in a huff
methinks if only I had therapy dog
named Teddy and/or Ruff
to protect me against thugs,
whose insecurity rocketed
poor little Matthew Scott
they threatened harm
to brag as neighborhood tough.

Gratitude wells up
recognizing worthiness you
exemplify, a spouse
(Richard McGeehan) who
did ardently woo,

after asking to dance pas-de-deux
as lifetime partner,
plus recognized keeper
bonafide then young gal true
lee worth her weight in gold,
or any other precious metal.

Marriage (codified, indemnified, and ratified
June 1990 - courtesy Harvey Whitten),
between ye and ardent husband
will moost definitely stand the test of time
cuz, each to the other a counterpart
analogous to rock of Gibraltar.
Haint no rhyme nor reason
why writing a poem such an arduous chore
twenty two days afore
winter solstice twenty twenty more
or less three weeks from tomorrow
November thirtieth, I implore
the god/goddess of poetry,
perhaps found within Bangalore
highlighted by the 'Green Door'
guarded by the key don Eeyore
also known as Al Gore
him of Earth in the Balance fame
who by George got ambushed unsure
if he chad chance to claim victory tour
when former candidate did score
less electoral college votes
nevertheless in my mind before
thoroughgoing count did ignore
discarded ballots scattered
all across the floor
which outcome incurred Iraq war
insinuating weapons of mass destruction
the gung ** forty third president forswore
existed but quite a few
respectable Republicans did abhor
pinning such ambiguous lore
upon head of recalcitrant Saddam Hussein
bombed back to stone age
think lavishing primitive home decor
no imprecation heaped and hurled
upon United States military, nor
****, who nobody did adore
asking politely "por favor
can I pretty please take detour
to Galapagos Islands of Ecuador
made famous courtesy Charles Darwin
still popular best selling author
at garden variety generic bookstore
which borders on ridiculous for sure
yet inane rhyme tore
thru my noggin after writer's block
yours truly did deplore
he would spend countless hours in vain
every burst of creativity I did explore
found me smack dab against
figurative cul de sac and bonjour
to you too three score
orbitz after me late papa did bore
mama, she passed away
fifteen years before.
Me, an aging baby boomer
long haired pencil necked geek
burning, depleting, using... fossil fuels,
thus a global nonrenewable resource(s)
repentant consumer
admitting heavily trod carbon footprint
additionally deeply enmired
within very late adolescence,

hence I shriek
with utter dismay
starkly aware personal hygiene
suffers direct hit
grungy kamikaze pilot
courtesy this groomer
cause I shower once
every fifty second week.

All joking aside,
I recognized (after therapy session
on November twenty third
with Ms. Renee Cardone),
how deeply entrenched,
albeit psychologically,
and emotionally yours truly mired
as grossly immature,
especially where role
of fatherhood concerned.

Hormonal secretion superseded rationality
when call of the wild
pronounced irrepressible urge
to unleash pent up
testosterone laden gunnysack
bursting courtesy the dutiful sentry

courtesy yours truly
experienced heat of the moment
able, eager, ready,
and willingly poised to strike
think totally tubular
warm prickly fleshy appurtenance.

Reflection upon helping beget
"star student" and shayna punim
two darling young
twenty something daughters,
though living social on their own
the former a resident of Oakland, California
the latter calls Bend, Oregon

home sweet home,
whose lives still impacted
when both girls
wantonly, relentlessly, yet mercilessly
buffeted courtesy deplorable
home environment within which,

neither parent gainfully employed
(both hobbled by mental health issues)
additionally progeny unfairly
spent impressionable years
under roof in squalor and filth
at 1148 Greentree Lane,

inviting Montgomery County
children and youth services,
which household (severely cramped quarters)
adrip with clutter
(generations worth of Zison precious heirlooms
substantial number of antiques)
majority relegated to the dumpster.

Thine eldest offspring
long since being master of her domain
continues to cite decade plus years
(perhaps even a ***** dozen)
as source of present psychological woe
at present still in throes of double whammy

woeful loss of paternal grandfather - Zayda
who passed away October seventh
at age ninety one
in quick succession,
she sadly bid adieu beau,
he absconded back to Puerto Rico
(his home/mother country)
without rhyme nor reason.

Impossible mission to decipher kismet
particularly what appeared as promising
relationship betwixt our lovely lass
and boyfriend, whereby
she found herself high and dry,

yet saddled with deux
capricious, garrulous, mischievous,
oblivious, rambunctious, vivacious...
tortoise shell mottled kittens.
written few years ago
preceding breakup of first born offspring  
and her Puerto Rican born beau,
when existence of averred progeny did flow
smooth and minimally disrupted
she exhibited countenance with radiant glow.

recalling family feast of yore
before
COVID-19 wreaked havoc and tore
fabric of civilization
global impact great as third world war.

this own lee brother of yours
dashed analogously graced
on par how a marathon runner raced
to Macbook Pro laptop computer post haste

soon as he got back
to his domicile nestled and encased
in the bucolic, democratic,
and fantastic spit (tune) of land marginally defaced

woodland partially hydrogenated oils baste
surrounding Highland Manor Apartment our aced
in the hole, whence he i.e. mice elf
(Matty Mouse) with threads of gratitude laced

within a feeble attempt
to burble, cobble, fiddle, easy as gravy,
an inscrutable letter placed
in the output queue

soon as all
the typo O graphical errors erased
and, though struggle to convey love
for such an endearing older sister,

which digitally squawking,
aye did not cut and paste
boot doth admit to allowing,
a saucy bit of small potatoes sayest

in ma trademark (truemark)
stuffing of fluffernutter (that taste)
G---R---R---E---E---A---A---T
(courtesy of flaky Tony the corny tiger),
which gibberish aims to waste

juiced spare moments,
and tubby direct, ernest and frank
lemme communicate without resorting
to caginess,

but NON GMO, gluten free roaming thoughts to thank
ye (Amelie Beth), and Rich McGeehan
for welcoming a small group
of family and friends
to your Woodbury, New Jersey abode,
  
somewhat near Redbank
to relish the salad days of times gone by,
when as kids residing in Audubon
or Collegeville, Pennsylvania,
we tricked each other with a harmless prank

such as hiding a fuzzy wuzzy Willie,
or scaring the other
with the molded Creepy People that doth rank
as laughably innocent, these topsy turvy times,

when faith no more
eroded camaraderie among village people
unity withal fellow Americans did tank
especially as the world wide web

iz going necessitate thee
to fill in the BLANK
thus moments to share
a tasty repast did help me to crank
out this artichokes gibberish,
which when placed
atop pyramid of cranberries sank.
  
as didst this heart of darkness
within soul asylum
of papa and momma genes
to two beautiful young women
re: daughters, whose absence

felt as gloomy fiends
similar to the Ogre encountered,
when goose that laid golden egg stolen
by Jack of beanstalk
of story book fame as a cash cow means.
Worrisome male pattern baldness
never recedes from forefront of mine noggin.

Though loss of hair
NOT characteristic within genes,
nor hearty chromosomes,
nevertheless, anxiety prevails,
that yours truly will witness bald pate.

Additionally his mood directly
linkedin with plethora of irrational notions,
whereby such groundless, mindless, rootless...
senseless thoughts underlie and sway moody blues
of super tramping fo fighting beastie boy.

After richly lathering and
thoroughly massaging aging scalp
constituting head property one very familiar
long haired pencil necked geek,
I subsequently rinse out shampoo
and proceed to shake out matted hair
back and forth to and fro
(think whiplash) goes sodden crown
even thee missus **** sitters me a freak.

In the mane, I seek to emulate a puff (fee) daddy,
(albeit with spindleshanks for legs),
the laughing stock of mankind,
no more muscular since being a wee little laddie.

Euphoria and joie de vivre harkened
likened to when angels sing
nsync with me, a yankee doodle dandy
IF freshly washed golden locks
fluff up like cotton candy
other disgruntlement arises
spurring yours truly to drown sorrows
courtesy one hundred proof brandy.

E'er since being a little
extremely shy (viz introverted) boy
a boot deux and half score years ago
bullies threatened de facto scapegoat
mine self esteem they did thoroughly destroy
e'en little Lord Fauntleroy
complicit as well every other goy,

thus yours truly wished
he could transform himself into Donald Hoy
(offspring courtesy large family once resident
within Arcola, Pennsylvania)
whose hairstyle I envied
and felt within lovely bones (mine) joy
could be experienced if some abracadabra ploy
would render our bodies switched.

Nowadays aforementioned scene
once read about in popular science 'zine
state of the art medical breakthrough quite routine
synonymous with waving magic wand
easily mastered courtesy run of the mill teen
ideal way to pick up (i.e. earn) extra green,
especially helpful during
2020 holiday season dulled sheen

courtesy COVID-19 pandemic,
no matter impossible mission
to wipe away mean
coronavirus bugaboos that cannot be seen
with naked eye, under microscope
spiky cell appears quite keen,
nay mesmerizing evidencing
articulated exotic pristine
innocuous fantastic characteristics.

Rather then kvetch concerning balding patch
finasteride, (a 5α-reductase inhibitor)
down the gullet and pharynx hatch,
whereby upon shiny skull appears thatch
e'en Samson would be envious unable to match
profuse locks of love,
and Delilah would find herself
in tug of war match.
Mother would patschke
early that day in the kitchen,
and recruit any guest, who
blindly ambled thru front door
suddenly trapped unwittingly
squarely (triangulated) into kitchen
forcibly impressed to help

set up buffet tables
and/or given carte blanche to prepare
some mysterious dish,
(a hodgepodge of ingredients),
that suffered no shortages of compliments
unfortunately could never be duplicated.

Guests harkened far and wide
word of mouth boastful rantings and ravings
superseded culinary Michelin Guides
to dole out seven stars,
which wordsworth meant "exceptional cuisine
promised hungry visitor
a special satisfactory journey."

"Time to eat" (usually bellowed courtesy father)
generated an orderly stampede to jostle in line
and commence maximizing capacity
testing sturdiness disposable plates could hold
scouting, shoe horning, staking...
place to become comfortably numb with satiation.

Amidst various and sundry masticating jaws
(with each respective mouthful
of food glorious food -
cue said Oliver Twist song title)
followed by draught of spirits
ejaculations of delight issued,
and punctuated the sound of silence

when not additionally interrupted
courtesy sibilant crackling
popping, and snapping
wood burning stove,
which aforementioned heat source
lulled well fed tummies
whereby heavy eyelids drooped
while heads sank into chest.

No matter hunger pangs quieted
evidenced by casserole, glass, pyrex...
scraped clean rumors heralding dessert
quickly awoke wine weary souls
analogous to sluggish animals

awakening out their hibernation,
when self anointed maître d'
showcased good n plenti desserts
(pies, ice cream, cookies and cakes galore)
she made house special
comprising secret ingredients.

Upon being stuffed to the hilt
(dear kith and kin mother
all counted as family
think taxidermist specimen
readied for mounting)
all pledged a unanimous
New year's resolution
vouchsafed to start on diet
come January first.
Heretofore stuffing said scandalous fête
worst day of year turkeys do hate
though vegan lifestyle
sweeping culinary tables of late
though me and the missus
still omnivorous foods sate

palates sprinkled (of course
while mouths full with borscht,
and eyes wide shut)
with garbled tête-à-tête
yum pumpkin pie for dessert,
I can hardly wait!

I credit our "star student,"
a twenty something
recent University of Penn alumna
currently residing in Oakland, California,
whose smarts as a single young woman

her papa doth envy,
no matter dearth of employment prospects,
during COVID-19 pandemic
(she vocationally trends toward engineering)
experiences economic dire straits

educated me and the missus,
this despite our chronological seniority,
how times gone by
hundred of years ago
during supposed Age of Exploration
untrammeled native people's lands

got "discovered" vis a vis exploited
courtesy "discoverers,"
no matter established civilizations
linkedin with Earth Mother
sanctified with lovely bones.

Even today indigenous tribes marginalized
forced off their sacred grounds
and/or blithely killed
unfairly skewered in short as nasty brutes
nevertheless the Leviathan
beast of western civilization
glorified, idolized, lionized, romanticized...
post reprehensible genocide

exterminated original occupants
place names peppering towns across
North and South America
token remembrance
of obliterated magnificence
scattered remnants forced
groveling along the boulevard
of broken treaties.

He/she who wielded the biggest stick
vanquished innocent men, women and children
extinguishing chalice, smiting mighty legions
deliberately transmitting disease
which decimated in one fell swoop
legions of unsophisticated souls

purposely mistreated with vengeance
pillaged, *****, torched
if not outright abducted
happy hunting grounds
near pristine tracts literally stolen
eminent domain disguising
manifest destiny modus operandi.

Yours truly doth not claim
the last wordsworth accuracy
within compact poetic frame
begetting extemporaneous told ill-fame
Maya feeble attempt
to codify ****** atrocity tis rather lame,
and bereft of gory details

causes good grief overcame
yours truly, when might overruled right
barring (lock, stock and barrel)
for rightful inheritors to reclaim
old rotten Gotham
long since sank into behavioral sink,
which fellow coining last sentence
I (pretend) forgetting the author -
what's his name?
Ofttimes yours truly assiduously tries to adlib,
but blubbers like a landlubber
at sea treading water donned with bib
(that doubles as yellow
spongy bobbing life jacket)

furiously doing doggy paddle
riding the next tidal wave
hoop fully washing me ashore to crib
if need be to dig an underwater channel
painstakingly slow drabs and drib.

The English language I simply adore
though offtimes methinks waxing eloquent
affects listeners as yours truly a bore
in record time flapping waxed lips
beholds one gordian
tongue tied knot major chore,
whereby I wanna bolt out figurative door
feeling deplorable and stuck
analogous to Eeyore.

Ache 'n to launch into a monologue
or chime into ongoing dialogue
me noggin off times generates brain fog
mental state mimicking one,
who quaffed an over abundance of grog,
which for this teetotaler would constitute

a mere thimble full of drink,
perhaps *** enhanced eggnog
just one sip and boing I go
topsy turvy as if a felled log
hit me over the head
rendering me unconscious.

Thus wood explain mine altered state
though unsightly **** on pate
battle scar leveled playing field
with the missus, 't other significant primate
supplementing and complementing
one aging long haired

pencil (vane ya) necked geek
being caged, yet free
to roam within human zoo
both, (née all) of us captive
on carousel of time
nsync with every other **** sapien
begot to participate in circle game.

All superfluous joking aside,
I strive to groom conversation,
whereby uninterrupted flow of words
(versus fumfering, hemming, hawing,
stammering, stuttering...), thine

general oral feedback paradigmatic guide
ever diligent to think
before I speak with pride
else I heep discourtesy
upon myself and chide
yours truly with harsh rebukes,

which maybe tantamount
going off the mountainside
plummeting into the abyss
engenders an unpleasant
metaphoric roller coaster ride,

and if crash test dummy doth survive -
upon gibbet he will be tried
punishment broadcast world wide
for flagrant horrendous verbal
egregiousness (waywardness) he belied.
Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling on her

state of the art broomstick
unfortunately they long since retired courtesy
formerly the Banks residence rather slick
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
ruler of the Quadling Country
South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
holed up in their respective bailiwick.

Aforementioned and following
(little known) verses (of Matthew)
find me peevish
at our (the missus and mine) digs
2 Highland Manor Drive

between 9:00 A.M. and 12:00 P.M.,
cuz low income housing regulations
require safe and secure place to live,
hence unpleasant inspection
scheduled at least once per year.

A trio of persons
comprising Property Manager
Regional Property Manager
and Maintenance Man
rap on the door (cue suspenseful music)
before their collective gaze turns toward:
the kitchenette, stealing
a peek into refrigerator, stove,

cupboards, testing garbage disposal
assessing utility room
housing hot water heater
testing smoke detector in bedroom
scanning bathroom
all the while reserving right
to take pictures
inside our unit if necessary.

No matter the missus and me
experienced aforementioned inspection
at least three other instances
since we lived here circa July 1st, 2016
(plus or minus a decade - ha)
which state inspection
explains metered emission
synonymous with violation,

whereby absolute zero
personal property we utilize
not considered off limits
to inquisitive troupe constituting
above identified higher ups
(refer to lines 33, 34, and 35
yes - start counting
from tippy top of poem).

Now no more time for inane verse,
cuz tis down to brass tacks
yours truly cannot relax
until he and the wife
align figurative ducks

courtesy ventriloquism acts
issues convincing quacks,
plus suddenly magically enlivened
neatly arrayed knickknacks
threatened with receiving

bonafide paddy whacks
if said tchotchkes misbehave
and exhibit buffoonish antics
subsequently summoned,
instructed, and commanded

to complete x squared jumping jacks
otherwise sent to fabled boot camp
superfluous unwanted playthings
recruited by Salvation Army
filling out ranks of toy story barracks.
Fast forward at least two score
Earth's orbitz round the sun
approximately the year 2040
history already wrote him off
as thee worst president
(based on numerous metrics)
of these United States.

Now toggle back to today
November 17th, 2020
the forty fifth commander in chief
still biden his time
refuses to concede election results
despite irrefutable opponent win,
yet he (who cannot be named)

refuses to budge
holding strongly steadfast to his perch
nursing narcissistic grudge
that eligible voters
rendered him irrelevant
courtesy enfranchisement nudge,
a showdown will lead to ouster
as leader of the Republican party.

He, the tragicomical unpopularly snubbed character
can wreak untold havoc
between aforementioned said date
and Wednesday January 20th, 2021
orders issued promulgating orders such as:

1. decreeing civil service
subject to political oversight
2. allow sale of oil and gas permits
within Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
3. require renewal of regulations

under purview courtesy
Health and Human Services Department
hobbling COVID-19 vaccine
4. impose sanctions on Iran
5. finalize peace deal

signed with Taliban in Afghanistan
6. broker extension regarding
New Start nuclear treaty with Russia
7. deliver spate of pardons to his cronies
8. disclose sensitive national-security information.

That mean *******
would gleefully, maniacally,
and royally ditch
the democratic process plagued
with many a glitch
permanently incapacitating turncoat
henchmen/women who snitch
revealing true guise as wicked witch.

Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man,
especially one groomed to win at all costs
and would sooner ruin the planet
versus admitting himself as sore loser?
(even when iron not hot, but rather cold as ice)

Yours truly a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz
living ****** mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,

I blithely admit characteristics
linkedin with being a putz
going off rails as a one man train wreck
mine impossible mission to avoid
NOT running amok imagine
bull in a china shop.

Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet
size nine shoe small size for grown man
leaving utter disaster in his wake
synonymous when havoc strikes
chaos theory alive and well
ensues when I walk about
and dare take even one baby step.

Ever since adept with ability to crawl,
I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,
but never did shed tears nor bawl
e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall
out the hatch of airplane

splattered, plastered, and matted
think suddenly feeling comfortably numb
joist another brick in wall
nevertheless acquiring stunt man role
paid big bucks

as **** sapien disguised as Sasquatch
(cause unkempt harried styled hair)
more times than I can remember
fell to Earth minus parachute,
which hoop fully explains

the incomprehensible drawl
earnestly and frankly harkening language
once extant within Gaul
which reverberated inside hall
of mountain (lionized) king.

Prior to any madcap misadventure
yours truly envisions his clumsiness
plays out within my third eye blind
hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion
whereby accidental flick of wrist,
barely brushes up against
flimsy clothes rack

(the original motive begetting poem)
knee **** involuntary reaction,
kicking obstacle clear across Compton
generating comical feedback loop
impossible mission to stop
blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.

Living amidst (amongst) disarray
courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits
never merit housekeeping seal of approval
twenty four/seven pose
a hazard to mine existence.
Nov 2020 · 123
Damsel in distress
Heartbroken lass bereft of eminent beau
papa doth vicariously experience her
(mine daughter's) grievous woe.

Unfair a budding promising relationship nought
going to incorporate wedded bliss,
when for all the world
the strong humble lad
absconded to Puerto Rican his homeland.

Thus pained University
of Pennsylvania alumna
("star student") since grade one
at Belmont Hills Elementary
whose high school alma mater
i.e. Harriton High School,
now glum Oakland California transplant.

I (biological father),
who helped beget offspring
writhes with agony,
cuz he and the missus
sowed wild oats
during prime time,
when irresistible call of the wild
overtook wisdom to shuck contraceptive
yielding the miracle of life.

Parenthood never ended
just because declaration of independence
and autonomy witnessed natural propensity
for progeny to reliant become on self
forced shoulder living expense
no only for herself,
but deux darling
tortoiseshell dappled

five month old kittens
most certainly a constant reminder,
when she and he "two peas in a pod"
shared so many college campus memories,
whereby appearances hinted
and predicted a shared destiny
between two love birds.

An abrupt cleavage
rent asunder never witnessing
mutual graceful dotage
figuratively saddled once ebullient psyche
unnecessarily bogged our engineering minded lady
with cumbersome equipage
after they spent precious
young adulthood years together

emulating how married couple live, I gauge
such scenario, cuz talk of wedding bells
filled the (telephonic) airwaves,
whereby yours truly feeling blessed
potential prodigal son in law
his earning hand over fist big bucks
employed at Silicon Valley company
geared toward marketing fitness application.

Unsure how said high achiever
bolstered with you go girl refrain,
(who ofttimes communicated with Zayda,
i.e. his demise a crushing sorrow),
which inevitable prolonged decline

sundered special rapport
since more'n threescore
Earth orbits around the sun
papa acquired mechanical engineer degree
working within Aerospace Division
at General Electric.

Impossible mission not to care
despite mein kampf punctuated
with mine wanderlust flair
marital covenant garden variety
wordsmith did greatly impair
triggering hostility within mine humble lair
adulterer letter forcibly donned as outerwear.
Circa April 9th 1929 - October 7th 2020
gratitude wells up inside me
middle grown child begat
reproductive assiduity Boyce and Harriet Harris,
who flashes back and forth
analogously hopscotching gamut of time
comprising thee dearly departed dada.

Affirmations galore
(regarding superlative traits)
beg to pour forth with utmost zeal
toward thee recently deceased papa
memorialized till eternity
as Earth turns round the sun
tracing an approximate orbital wheel.

Despite unpleasant days of yore,
when ye and mama did bellow
at nonestablishmentarian offspring (me),
an average dude with attitude (purse lips)
courtesy passive resistance
billy me, he idly exhibited his rebel yell
harbored aversion at receiving end
of parental red hot anger,

while sulking and swallowing pride
behind bedroom door
experienced paternal rejection
pitiful exemplar of mine de facto failure,
I fell short (just 5'10'')
of even nada so great expectations
immobilized by fear

to risk trusting instinctual ability
particularly livingsocial independently,
viz electric kool aid acid test
forfeiting, buzzfeeding kickstarting
requisite metamorphosis into adult
starkly aware how ye accrued
major accomplishments whereby
late twenties/early thirties

found thee owning successful career
at General Electric (as mechanical engineer)
proud homeowner (Lantern Lane, Audubon)
eventually purchasing property at 324 Level Road,
which latter abode ye did transform
into resplendent work of art,
where family and friends stood agape.

Examples of native talents included:
Begetting three progeny
expending blood, sweat, and tears
to craft multitude of projects;
i. amassing wood pile(s),
to stoke wood burning stoves

ii. designing Zayda trail for Teddy and Ruff
(two doggone mixed breed Border Collies
rescued courtesy Shari Todd Harris
at her Jacobsburg, Penna work site)
iii. constructing sauna in cellar,
iv. etching, detailing (ala fresco),
v. plus trimming living room ceiling,
vi. shingling (while fiddling) on the roof,

vii. tiling the kitchen floor,
viii. building a cistern for brethren,
ix. wood paneling many rooms,
x. building custom made toy chest,
xi. stringing up lights to increase visibility
driveway lit like Christmas tree after dark,
xii. partly assembled a kayak,

xiii. retooling - enhancing porch
(formerly slate covered),
where Morris dancers performed
at Amelie Beth Harris wedding
(upon which eldest adopted
hyphenated McGeehan
as her surname - ~ June 1990.

Multipotentiality oozed
from your every ****** cell
while please (Billy) me idle son
(yours truly) idolized ye
more'n he never did tell,
yet envied thee dear papa,
who exuded indomitable strength

even amidst most devastating loss
death of beloved Bubba, your soulmate
after she succumbed stricken with terminal illness,
whose grievous hardship
handwritten within notebooks
designated as Book 1, Book 2, and Book 3
accidentally discovered ex post facto,
when Amelie rifled thru personal materials.

Now week five after departure to Netherlands
I ask thee a question; Remember me?

One singular, (albeit married) male offspring
christened Matthew Scott Harris
praises of mine father, I sought to sing
poetically, cuz I feel honored
chance genetic dice throw
prayerfully finds ye now zipping off
upon trumpeting political left wing.

The sudden emotional
black hole (sunless) void
exploits, fuels, and generates
sadness begging, dredging, forcing forth
deserved accolades, which
reverberate, resonate and repopulate

at lightspeed prized papa stole by grim reaper
writhing, spindling, mutilating,
fondling, and agonizing absent presence
torturous reminder, viz mine mein kampf
whipsawing, sabotaging, and jackknifing
ability garden variety and generic son to function.

Hasta la vista August father - ferried I know not where
yet..., your distinct voice whispered my name I swear,
though infinite distance betwixt us unreachable ne'er
will thee be forgotten, a stupified melancholy daze
since ye departed inconsolable sobbing (mine) hear?

The finality of life, liberty,
and pursuit of happiness on Earth
writ small within constituent genetic material
seemingly, a lifetime away at birth
chronological dial spun ninety one
orbitz round nearest star well worth
fluke happenstance of events

begetting memorable times of mirth
starting while in utero
expanding mommy's girth
fast forward to meself being old fogey
settled by the crackling hearth
reminiscing treasuring dearth
of scant times with recently deceased papa.

The Princess and the Pea
starring Harriet Harris
courtesy Norristown, Pennsylvania Barn Playhouse
in the Park thespians
did bring down the house
whereby valiant prince
forever warmed her cockles and muscles.
Within mein hermitage
now dwells one euphoric troglodyte who wept
upon hearing unbelievable news,
(albeit at snail's pace schlepped
finally proclamation emancipation
gave reasonable rhyme yours truly to *******
(not prematurely), subsequently I leapt

into the air, and kept
myself aloft completing
one after another sumersault and except
for minor nuisance of gravity
nevertheless landed feet first and crept
back into mine mancave adept
to survive alone in the wilderness.

Seventy four million popular votes
tallied across country,
gives ample reason to grind hips and bump,
(cuz the most votes
cast for any presidential candidate in history),
which Republican contender finally plopped
hook line and anchored

courtesy Taj Mahal replica sinker
into dustbin of history
good riddance electorate voted out
loutish oaf, which voters chose to dump
best mandated to cavort with zoot suited frump
on any given Wednesday available to ****
rotund barenaked lady merging
into humongous protoplasmic lump.

Caught red handed concerning
more'n where's the beef
stole 2016 election
under nose of Hillary Clinton
abused role, when tasked
as commander in chief

good ole Charlie Brown nemesis
caused nothing but grief,
hence yours truly quite elated
upon occasion when figurative new leaf
turned over and booted out
as more onerous than Baghdad thief.

Hit the ground running
with nary a second to waste
Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and company
proving their steely eyed mettle
after victory lap Democrats did taste

usher in COVID-19 game plan
bolstering pandemic defences
where prior administration sorely misplaced
priorities United States Lady Liberty
wantonly, undeservedly, subsequently
her reputation disgraced.

Hope springs eternal - ah tis amazing grace
yours truly suddenly brimming with optimism
able bodied diverse cabinet to erase
formerly inept sycophants with intentions base
running amok within White House

at long last competent candidate won the race
adieu Donald Trump, who
did disappearing act at Mar-A-Lago without a trace
sore loser teed off absent American
delivering his humiliating defeat coup de grâce.
Innocuous, yet unhealthy threat looms across
(air/radio) telecommunications devices
linkedin with plenti networks that criss cross
even primitive computers utilizing DOS

by George, which archaic code
once powered Mill on the Floss,
now long since covered over
with flora I lichen and recognize as moss.

Surgeon general (Jerome Michael Adams
20th Surgeon General of the United States)
strongly advises against, yet he does not boast
threat looms large coast to coast
watching more than five minutes at most
equivalent machination, the following I post

re: guarding haunting experience
analogous visit by fashionably late ghost
2020 presidential election coverage
able, eager, and ready to prey upon host
whereby curious George experiences
feeling noggin fried like toast.

A carefully worded (fake) communiqué
purportedly the brainchild of one freak
Matthew Scott Harris,
whose jargon puzzling as deciphering Greek
long story short while in utero,

he experienced cerebral leak,
said cheesy mousy man no longer meek
quite evident courtesy literary pique
his haughty style aiming to characterize
generic guy as self anointed Sheikh
sought after acceptance tepid and week.

Nevertheless he speaks/writes truth to power
aforementioned serious risk steeped within
social media platform sensory overload I ascribe,
whereby subliminal messages

voter's blitzkrieg does bribe,
albeit unconsciously, hence me subsequent rhyme
equals forewarning in league with mild diatribe
which receptive yours truly can transcribe.

All joking aside
oversaturation soaking up
presidential election aye chide
against viewing in excess (five minutes at most)
affixed to live streaming broadcast

can find thee steadfast staring getting bug eyed
thus hoop fully let moderation serve as guide
cuz the eventual outcome re: guarding
president elect political experts cannot hide

though be wary lest premature ******* trumpets
sore loser candidate, that
bombastic egotistical ignoramus lied
cuz prejudice nsync with pompous pride
for four years to many
the webbed wide world let him slide,
now as one common Joe,
a hardened criminal he best be tried.
whiling away his time playing solitaire...
November second two thousand and twenty
fast approaching the final countdown

With less than twenty four, twenty three,
twenty two...  hours
harkening, heralding or (worse case scenario)
hindering the presidential election,
I trumpet mounting tension and suspense,
whereby anticipation hangs
analogous to sword of Damocles
precariously looms - casting dark shadow
across the webbed wide world.

While safely ensconced in his man cave
yours truly snug as a bug in a rug
quite aware the geopolitical stakes grave
speculating whether I will be forced to sell lave
over a hot stove to earn me keep
attending tsoris of missus rant and rave,
especially if social security stripped away.

Should the Republican incumbent
clinch the nomination
courtesy voter disenfranchisement,
hooligans threatening violence,
spewing conspiracy theories
or other ****** maneuvers

the country most definitely
headed toward perdition
condemning everyone minus super rich
to live as basket of deplorables
scrounging for measly scraps.

Figurative screws tightened
upon scuttled constitutional birthrights,
while commander in chief
arrogantly dons totalitarian mantle
exuding Grinchian grin
issuing one after another bromide
battleax and henchmen forthwith decide
peace on Earth and

good will toward men/women
making travesty founding fathers/mothers
pledge guaranteeing inalienable rights
subsequently sacred documents falsified
instituting instead corporal punishment,
whereby armed militia ordered
to smoke out where traitor sought to hide.

Indeed nothing like good n plenti
healthy dose of mayhem to roil
time tested democracy methinks
Thomas Jefferson would approve
of said message, yet no doubt stupefied
at how fledgling United States
matured into plutocracy
incorporating bajillion dollar campaign cost.

Blitzkrieg advertisements inundate airwaves
mudslinging contestants unethically behaves
how aging long haired pencil necked geek craves
idealistic civil plebeians versus patricians
lovely bones of interred forefathers
within weathered tombstones graves
plucked burial sites souvenirs stolen by knaves.

Best advice to ye dear (rabbit) reader
hunker down into bunker till end of time
keep yourself busy writing one or another rhyme,
cuz some future archeologist will discover
visa a vis profound wordsmith, whose sublime
abilities necessitate special skill decoding
mysterious symbols courtesy algorithm prime
transmitted across bandwidth,
now where flourishes cyber crime.
At 4:03 PM on November first
two thousand and twenty,
the missus nsync with yours truly,
(an inimitable average Joe - cur -
biden his time at Royersford, Pennsylvania

LIDL food market)
unexpectedly witnessed cashier
manning checkout aisle number two
to experience technological glitch,
which checkout person patiently,
thru various and sundry attempts

tried to nab ghost in the machine
invariably found register
to display DECLINE
despite one after another
dogged trial and error
deliberately entering $25.79,

the balance remaining
after ALDI purchases rung up today
at 15:27 (military time),
said unnamed cashier
tried his darnedest
to troubleshoot snafu,

while yours truly nonchalantly reports
my superhuman xray vision,
easily observed undetected
immense cerebral activity
silently and soundlessly

appraising amazing faculty
boring him with mine
invisible telescopic quasi proboscis
vicariously discerning himself
he finally managed
to surmount (figuratively)

mind boggling daunting challenge
applying cumulative technical acumen
at long gave last mental
herculean heave **
to resolve quandary
(after much time elapsed)

subsequently I made mental note
to notify management
first thing in the morning
designating said individual
as (at the least) employee of week award.
Synonymous with light hypnotic mode
inhaling and exhaling diffusing anger
lest mine noggin would explode
rhythmic breaths flowed
sustained me red nose (think Rudolph) glowed.

Holistic approach to derive peace of mind
necessitating absolute zero noise
(the slightest distraction
offsets delicate transcendent state)
nevertheless effortless breathing
(whereby mantra incorporated)
buoys body, mind and spirit triage.

Trail of tears left in my wake
tortured psyche I cannot take
woebegone roiling anguish doth quake
one christened Matthew Scott Harris
quite popular namesake
yours truly
zapped, wretched and tattered
gruesome caricature keepsake.

Me beast of burden exhausted,
thus I take tired *** abed
cuz cheeses crust,
this brother spiritually bred
though NON GMO gluten free
das capital one human got cred
linkedin and locked with dread.

Retrospective of mein kampf on display
no time for sergeants, nor hip hip hooray
mine burdened psyche clamors, hankers, pines...
willingly bequeaths fractured father
to posterity, I just wanna lay
overburdened spirit desperately plunges
into terrestrial realm reaching passageway
where pained existence bids adieu
flourishing grateful dead today.

Book of Wisdom in the Bible,
chapter 2, verse 8
advises gather ye rosebuds while ye may
impossible mission to squelch
testosterone laden hormonal secretion
nsync with biological call of the wild
helped beget deux offspring.

Series of unfortunate events
(only known to Lemony Snicket)
finds eldest grown daughter bereft of beau
who abandoned her
he went back home
to Puerto Rico.

Emotional pain wracking said progeny
(wind knocked out her sails)
vicariously experienced courtesy
saddened sensitive simian
soporific sullen papa, he whose
biological flesh, bone and blood
unforgivably, unfittingly, unfairly subjected
to unnecessary undeserved punishing lament.

Me and the missus wrought smart "star student,"
who matriculated and graduated storied
ivy league college
University of Pennsylvania alumni
suddenly strewn helter skelter
cuz ex boyfriend earned handsome income
to pay pricy apartment
housed within Oakland, California.

Dada poor bucks here
unable to allay financial hardship
saddling lovely young lady
birthed approximately twenty four years ago
both of us parents indigent
nonetheless livingsocial hand to mouth
along ritzy, snooty and tony MainLine
Lower Merion top notch school district.

Bellicose tirades spill forth
out the figurative mouth of our bubala,
she livid ranting with rage
shouldering an onerous task,
whose dark shadows cast grotesqueries
creep along the edge of night
within outer limits of twilight zone.
Fred Trump taught his sole son Donald
how to steal the leading way into more ***,
though no hint given, nor prediction forecast
in his growing up years, that would foretell,
thru base anaphylactic cronyism, egotistical
gall insidious kleptomania call, malodorous

Machiavellian offal obnoxious quintessential
skullduggery, unfair wicked yik yak zeal
to wield selfishness, a mean mogul with brass,
who would unstintingly live up to his surname,
and trump every law in the books of jurisprudence
and crass bend avast set of constitutional laws
to feed his ferocious fealty to the all mighty dollar

flaunting, fleecing, and flipping  the welfare
of those (he deemed must serve him
his insatiable hunger) to connive, dictate,
and expedite his hell bent assiduity,
an empire fit for a King, who felt no aversion
to mollycoddle, peddle, and wheedle

any zealous contractual obligation
(immediately abrogated), and concoct fabrications
vis a vis, a visa versa MasterCard his
American Express shun re: the art of the raw
FitBit (if necessary browbeating, depriving,
forfeiting meting out legally obligated pay

whenever an inconvenient truth awoke
in his noggin reneging fiduciary promises
to the risk-taking, moon shining, toiling citizens
ala Indian giving per many an unfair deal
exuding crass with especial treatment
to withhold wages for his (held in check)

Polish laborers, who built his city on rock and rolling
stock – so a Starship emblazoned with
outsize ego of an exploiter with no pay
to his backbreaking Polish construction
motley crue nor even mucho grassy us
for erecting his empire now ranked in
billions of dollars unfairly pointing a finger

to berate, dictate and finagle foreigners
(illegal immigrants, he would now boot
out of this country) to carry out drudgery
with hungry stomachs growling at slave wages,
lamentably plodding since any other employer
might question their vlsa status, hence anger
boils within this generic human enraged

his wealth squeezed from every last drop
of said craftsman, now if still alive old and
broken men crushed by the mighty
self proclaimed dictator of the proletariat,
whose hollow being blind sides those
he stares down, yet beware all that glitters ain't gold!
(warning ungapatchka language ahead)

Flush with rage the spouse will become allied
if reference made how she buzzfeeds disorder
altercation especially likely if divorce blurted
making me wish to experience (immediately)
bartered bride, when mine pointed finger doth
nonverbally chide markedly appalling untidy
predilection she blithely exhibits woeful scant
interest to maintain can-do spirit affecting plea

zing aesthetic humble abode ofttimes slacking
off cleaning trail of abomination, which talent
includes unwittingly cultivating qua primordial
soup possibly duplicating conditions when life
originated (bajillion years ago) on planet Earth
witnessed courtesy think gummy, groovy, gooey,
gloppy, (nippy, nap, noopy) protoplasmic slimy
oozing blob (starring Steve McQueen) amoeba

like swallowing small towns with names such as
Chester Springs, Downingtown, Phoenixville,
& Royersford hungering, hinting, and hankering
to hasten home hearing Harris harridan hooligan
hoopla conniption purportedly linked into order
issued courtesy board of health for hen pecking
wife to hustle & make house beautiful for Biden
(accompanied with hit parade) announcing (yea)

at long last Republican administration overhaul
which fête yours truly slated to host determined
(weeks ago), thus necessitating legally wedded
counterpart to apply elbow grease in tandem to
render **** & span where unsightly food scraps,
soiled clothes, scattered papers, et cetera strewn
helter skelter, the disarray the culmination of 4+
years occupying these digs in Schwenksville, Pa.

Upon being told "get the place in ship shape order"
she went ballistic like bupkis fired out me gluteus
maximus, (whereat I couldn't help but think ICBM)
yea, an incongruous thought as she rattled vitriolic,
colorful expletives coarse language enough would
make sailor blush shutting his yapper uttering before
he even uttered "shiver me timbers," hence clatter
and din created cacophonous noise as my fair lady

affected one woman siege warfare as pots and pans
flew pell mell thru air while I took refuge in fallout
shelter unused since total mortal kombat destroyed
major swath of webbed wide world, global debacle
our dear leader triggered (when in pensive mood) he
lobbed weapons of mass destruction after being axed
to "go back home" meaning his mother planet Uranus.
outcome of 2020 presidential election announced

Polling places slated to open seven o'clock
in the morning November third two thousand twenty
heightened tensions will strain patience
to breaking point concerning
extreme anticipation common joe experiences
(biden his/her time)
regarding which candidate trumpeted
as de facto commander in chief of United States.

Carpe diem the echoing refrain
heard and seen dispensed and broadcast
across telecommunications medium
cuz the very survival of democracy at stake
ruthless political machinations employed
to seize inalienable codified rights
couched within Declaration of Independence

and Constitution, written ethos, dogma, credo...
compiling aggregate of fundamental principles
or established precedents that constitute
legal basis of a polity, organisation
or other type of entity and commonly
determine how entity governed.

Understanding North American government
inextricably found yours truly agape
when chance occurrence brought hefty tome
into self assigned reading material
which storied author David McCullough
wrote engrossing John Adams biography
I read aloud with measured deliberateness
clearly enunciating each syllable of every word

despite runaway enthusiasm
to acquire historical premise
whereby original thirteen colonies
teetered on brink of immediate collapse
soon after majority representatives
swore fealty among themselves
despite ragtag soldiers
easily overwhelmed courtesy
fighting force of British Empire.

As a staunch affiliate of democratic party,
one veritable common joe
just biding his time,
I trumpet how crass
deleterious, egregious, fractious...
usurpation of power
jackknifed, kickstarted and linked

endemic flood (gushing) hatred
malicious, nefarious, opprobrious putrescence
laid down at the feet
upholding seventy five inches
of corpulent doughy flesh
regarding one conceited, haughty, and obstreperous
politician orchestrating machiavellian leitmotif.

Mark my words, that bull headed incumbent
will clamor, foment, incite, loose chaos
if Democratic candidate garners more votes
at the ballot box nsync with absentee citizens
casting their lot with the worser of two evils
otherwise put head between legs,
and kiss tuckus goodbye,
cuz hell in a handbasket looms on horizon.
Upon Googling Petco
regarding purchasing gift card
for eldest daughter
(she tends two beautiful female felines)
Petsmart website appeared right and center
innocuously distracting purported intent.

The nearest latter named store
approximately a dozen plus miles away
whereas former specialty shop
in closer proximity to her,
she (first born offspring),
who resides within Oakland, California.

I readily admit envisioning
gamut of goodies
(to enhance Felis catus existence),
whence yours truly
easily self hypnotized himself
into catatonic trance
while drooling over plethora of
goodies to accessorize pet life.

Alumni school of hard knocks
learned forty dollar life lesson
(twenty smackaroos allotted
each competing purveyor
of similar pet merchandise.

Website designers masterfully
employ machiavellian (cutthroat) tactics
to ****** up business
when an online shopper
scouting around for any product.

Businesses cater to shoppers
seeking any particular product
must activate, facilitate,
and integrate subterfuge
(obviously exercising subtle techniques)

to hoodwink savvy netizen
confidently kickstarting and buzzfeeding
insatiable pinteresting itsy bitsy
(spidery) prodigal son wannabe hankering
to splurge on themselves,
viz their pet peeve.

Even with earlier premeditated notion in mind
to secure gift card for Eden (said progeny),
predilection toward easy distraction
found me admitting aforementioned faux pas,

which spurs (Matthew Scott's)
quasi crazy corollary
subsequently stated thus,
when deliberate focus absent
obviously good n plenti (of fishy)

opportunities thrives affording advertisements
expedient modus operandi
to bandy, dangle, and features wares
eliciting, emancipating, enticing
yours truly, who drooled and slobbered

suddenly spurred with Pavlovian craving
to whip out debit card (whip it good)
and surrender sparse monies
to plunk down electronically x dollars,
whereby another citizen banker bit the dust.

Overzealous to feign
being monetarily gifted
faux lavishing self with impulse buying
justified as early Holiday,
(viz Xmas) shopping,
(no matter I suffer agoraphobia)
figuratively ran counter
to credo of frugal lifestyle.

Impossible mission
to wrench free and clear,
where penury indelibly
(albeit figuratively) writ large
across precarious teetering complex edifice
there's a sucker born every minute,
and ye espy the latest one freshly minted.
Potential cause célèbre dermatological solution
to stem palmar hyperhidrosis,
which medical break thru a last ditch effort
if Glycopyrrolate ineffective
to stave off sweaty hands.

Venerable Doctor Harold Milstein
an acclaimed dermatologist
possesses over 45 years
experience with Dermatologic Care,
Cosmetic Dermatology, and
Mohs Surgery than other specialists in his area.

Since adolescence (mine)
yours truly disabled
by aforementioned physiological symptoms,
just recently sought treatment
concerning above identified malady
with same specialist

who removed prominent benign moles
(mostly peppered shoulders to lower back,
whereby spouse used
colored indelible marker
to play connect the dots).

Initially yours truly underwent
regarding mole removal,
(albeit surgical excision)
herewith another free plug

courtesy Marlene J. Mash Associates
545 West Germantown Pike #100,
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania 19462
approximately two dozens
earth orbitz round the sun ago.

State of the art biomedical, gastrointestinal
pharmacological, et cetera treatments
to allow, enable, and provide
relief from significant health issues
that plagued one mortal man

who feels grateful (before being dead)
Medicare picks up tab
what would otherwise be exorbitant costs
if yours truly (me)
lacked health insurance.

After very recent passing of dear ole dad
he provided more than basic needs,
when this here reasonably rhyming
gadabout goodfella just a lad
though yes..., when I happened

to slough off responsibility,
he (and mama, she be gone
to netherlands for ages)
father quick to exhibit anger mad

as a raging bull,
but in all respects
our well being (his dependents in general,
plus Georgie the
mixed breed Boxer/Dalmation
and Twinkles the cat
gave top notch priority
to kit and caboodle.
at Cherry Hill, New Jersey Unitarian Fellowship

Boyce Brandon Harris cremains
(approximately one fourth entire contents)
offered, interred, and eulogized
within ‘Tristan’s Pollinator Garden,'
which constitutes minute arboretum
bore witness to immediate family of said deceased
yours truly plus eldest and youngest sister
each of us communicated solemn words
to recall admirable, inimitable,
and unfathomable father,

whose passing (evident previous six months,
whereby his declining physical health)
unfettered, presaged, and indicated imminent death
now his invisible spirit
dwells amidst the spiritual abodes
encompassing three offspring,
he and the late Harriet Harris begat,
whose lives analogous
to quasi orphaned grown children
all adults with independent lives of their own.

We (progeny of our father and mother,
the latter deceased
approximately fifteen and a half years)
convened at above mentioned site
see fourth line of poem
to consecrate, designate, and generate
extemporaneous heartfelt sentiments
honoring his wishes,
mixing joys and sorrows,

regaling poignant occasions
before shoveling soil
punctuated silent benediction
courtesy Reverend Margret A. O'Neall,
Developmental Minister eloquently enunciated
reassuring, healing, and comforting words
to small congregating crowd
comprising half dozen plus people.

Come spring two thousand twenty one
a hearty shrub or tree,
(yet to be decided upon)
will be planted within sanctioned
space, whereby Mother Earth

will allow, enable, and provide
nondescript ashes to mingle
subterranean flora and fauna,
whence roots of former will help filtrate
cremated body once housing
Boyce Brandon Harris.

He who helped bring us
(meaning Amélie, Matthew and Shari)
into existence forever spirited into the future
linkedin by actions
genetically, indirectly and knowingly
hashtagged, kickstarted and tweeted
said son and daughters
who possess his corporeal heritage.
which prime mate affectionately called buttock blaster
alimentary explosion ofttimes causes global disaster
upon such gaseous debacle run for your life ever faster!

Yours truly (humorously dry husband)
can definitively attest,
she (thee missus) nixed, ordained,
inured, espoused blessed
discrete frolicsome liaisons regarding
shenanigans Mister Phil Ander
deviously, knowingly, and stealthily wrested.

***** deed done dirt cheap
trick discovered visa vis
super tramping bleep
mother 62311518 claimed,
he drove while sound asleep.

Risque somnambulant tryst
viz escapade constituting naked ape
morphed into nightmare,
when noose hung around nape
verboten fruit heed vape.

Gamesome cocksure attitude
severely irked first born
of his hereditary brood
pricked temptation concerning wedded dude
frenetic altercation begot feud
miscreant dalliance whipsawed and hewed
antics buzz-feeding carnal groove

portrayed (by "mother") as indecent and lewd
spelling downfall impossible mission daughters
envisioned their impeccable father ****
obviously he elicited false pretensions being a *****
no moral compass shamefacedly *******
licentious transgression abominable however viewed.

The motto carpe diem liberally
translated carte blanche
get thee (yours truly)
to a nunnery sporting about
envisioned foreplay gallivanting without doubt
cavalier attitude hashtagged

yours truly as one preeminent lout
gathering rosebuds while ye may
rather than pout
adapting what me worry playbook page
linkedin to Alfred E. Neuman mad scout
infidelity Casanova wannabe doth tout
plenty of fish aside from American trout.

The aforementioned merely signifies fantastical zeal
sisters of mercy appeasing cogitating human
emulating generic garden variety common wheel
ordinary goodfella well spoken
giving his exemplary poetic spiel

reeling off inane prurient fantasy newsreel
no rhyme nor reason expressing salacious he'll
be coming round the mountain
to quench ****** thirst,
where celibacy finds mine flesh to ail.

Metaphorical libidinal longings I elevate
vis a vis authoring, crafting, entertaining...
juvenile scribblings dat ain't so great
analogous to ****** satisfaction,
employing English language
métier write engenders
yours truly to salivate

subsequently to the electronic
circular filing cabinet
readers moost likely relegate
regarding hormonal secretions I sublimate
thru writing prevaricated risqué tête-à-tête
hooping syllabification harmonious
synchronization doth undulate.
Father now journeys
into afterlife destination alone,
October 7th, 2020 mid afternoon
with Earthlings ministration did attone
where night envelops his lovely bones
rendered devoid of any groan
courtesy Roxanol (morphine)
and Ativan finding him prone

to experience painlessness, and no
his dying wish, plus last will and testament
won't include burial and/or headstone
cuz, he wants to integrate and did intone
cremation as ecologically friendly option
scattering ashes to parts known
someday... yours truly will too
succumb to the dead zone.

Stark reminder to live fully an urgent yen
to live life fullest between now and when...
ever yours truly exits
stage door left, perhaps ten
twenty, thirty... eighty, ninety, one hundred...
additional orbits around sun

a remarkable human phenomenon
(me) courtesy mine burning ken
bequeaths modest minute man
near accursed immortality longevity totaling even
score of years counting (crows)
and father time among his brethren.

Distress unavoidable which mortality doth bring
nevertheless, tis impossible mission
to eradicate pain and suffering, which doth sting
consolation assuages grief, viz prayer
and buttressing coping with spiritual wing
profound absence augments biting zing.

Biological reproduction begetting offspring
lodging within uterine abode
subsequent in utero development
regarding accretion embryonic node
biological algorithm doth automatically encode,
nevertheless longevity invariably affected
no doubt courtesy lifestyle mode.

Random crapshoot luck of the draw offspring born
genetic blueprints also decree existence transient
parents emphatically teach progeny
got no choice must inform

daughter(s), and son(s) ineluctably forsworn
demise bound with birth certificate presents horn
of dilemma conscious the next generation
granted only so many Earth orbitz around sun.

Once grim reaper deftly
communicates I must bid adieu
eternal hasta la vista to kith and kin
please don't shed a tear for generic
germane admirable bad company crew
member, albeit healthy as an ox
never got the flu,

an atheist doubting thomas
though genealogy records
incorporate many a cynical Jew
at least one legendary antiestablishmentarian
gleaned within mine purview
shunned, ostracized and banished to Xando.
Oct 2020 · 157
Time zips by at lightspeed
Before scant opportunity
to make amends totally tubular slips away,
I (one generic doubting thomas)
reach out across cyberspace without delay
jumpstarting and kickstarting reflections
linkedin with fifty plus shades of gray
snapchatting and twittering
do you know the way to San Jose?

A random destination
I imaginatively mosey
lackadaisical bridging divide to Oakland,
whereby poor excuse for papa doth pray
ye will accept mine attempt

to mend figurative fences - slay
the beast of burden oy vey
once for all under woes
to paternal parent who cares -
singing yippie yie yay!

Impossible mission to banish and  
vanish woes that didst zap
thee when yours truly (delinquent dada)
fictitious and/or transgressions
he doggedly, cruelly, and blithely
years gone by did yap

pained fallout across precious progeny
alienation doth still wrap
hermetically sealed darling daughters
none other than yours truly fell prey
to his self made abominable trap

scheming adulterous liaisons
just barely avoiding marital mishap
though irrevocable psychological fallout
heavily impacted metaphorical didst kneecap
father/daughter relationships annihilated
with ear splitting emotional thunderclap,

thus only apology offered accursed philandering
soiling restitution, whereby
reparations forever swallowed
into a figurative (bay sic) wide
gulf course teed off handicap.

No matter probable (understandable) aversion ye
experienced toward lame casanova wannabe
unfaithfulness tarnished potential virtue thee
need never invite papa
into your confidentiality prithee

regarding filial rapport with Zayda
(my father) forgiveness key
as I too grieve since grim reaper will emcee,
when labored breathing ceases and Boycie
joins grateful dead.

Awareness pronounced inevitably his passing will
(does) sadden heart and soul of indomitable gal
regarding said lass, (who brusquely reciprocates)
possessing academic energetic,
italic opportunistic skill

cuz, I recognize
no vibrant rapport exists between us,
nor could or would I impose
to beget profound sharing when nil,
née nonexistent bond prevails

never knowing mine dad's mein kampf,
a moost bitter pill,
hence quite so many decades in future
when basic life functions analogous to uphill
battle, grandpa Matthew Scott
witnesses rigor mortis, which sets mine
once upon a time washboard abdomen
into matted, flaccid, and bloated flesh
as if drowned in the Schuylkill.
Thee nonpareil Amelie Beth Harris-McGeehan
blessed honest to dog goodness her person doth bring
never could her brother wish upon NON GMO
(archaeopteryx, buffalo, chicken...) wing,
and genuine prayer anybody more a maze zing.

Many countless years before
our dear mother passed away four
plus eleven earth orbitz ago,
she voluntarily repeated more
times than I can remember "your
older sister possesses altruistic qualities."

The above words enclosed by this bloke
with double quotation marks, okey-doke
not necessarily the way mama spoke,
but yours truly took poetic liberty

without any intention generating impulse to choke
the harmless, nameless, and stateless writer
and literally went bonkers
while going for Baroque
for recognized virtue that recently woke.

Kinship towards angelic, fantastic, pacific anchor
understandable why her spouse did hanker
during their courtship to pledge his troth
to maneuver metaphorical
hook, line, and sinker as though steadying a tanker.

Innocence and naïveté suffused little boy
occupying body of aging long haired
pencil necked geek without gainful employ
and (and as a shy person without benefit
of powdered milk biscuits)
generally trended solitary
verses masing with hoi polloi,

nevertheless ofttimes relentlessly teased
bully me, I loathed treatment on par
with worthlessness linkedin with discarded toy,
thus gratitude prevails toward eldest sibling
(no matter just thirteen plus months older)
pseudo motherhood she did deploy
to ward off aggressive monsters.

I reckon eyes appreciation
matured into present thankful attitude,
now with mooch time to ponder and brood
how earlier in my life behavior childish and crude
methought meself as hotshot dude,

yet these days, I couch sincerity writing
one or another poetic endeavor
knitting words analogous to composing an etude
contemplative, intuitive, and ruminative mental food

for thought hoop ping to convey
honest to goodness gratitude
communicating reasonable rhyming message
(if yee be downcast dearly beloved sister)
delivering uplifting, kickstarting exalting mood.
Since advent of **** sapiens
objection overruled against immortality
all across millenniums humans
generated, amplified, and

idly reverberated (Billy me) rebel yell,
when finality 'twixt consciousness
eternal existence doth die as well
grievous news laudable hospice staff did tell

us (meaning yours truly plus
his deux darling siblings), I
in addition to older and younger sister,
thru passionate love making
******* did propel

seeds of life embarking
upon parent trap role
til sands of time did runneth out, and
for whom (him) the death knell
bell tolled, now funereal shroud covers dell.

Born April 9th, 1929 - Hebrew
ancestry papa never witnessed affection,
whereby his father - a liberal Jew
(mine paternal grandfather)
purportedly gave nary a blues clue
about welfare regarding youngest son
christened Boyce Brandon Harris,

who harbored quashed feelings
glommed like figurative ague
nsync with chowing down
into his esophageal flue
peristalsis allowing, enabling,
and providing gurgling goo
gull faintly sounding

to (my lard) Doctor Seuss
eerily similar to Horton hears a hoo
after milk (deciduous) teeth
gave way to papa's adult choppers
(by George), whereby
he could thoroughly chew
heavily saturated high caloric ethnic cuisine

(albeit American, Chinese,
and eats of ethnic Jew),
which high cholesterol comestibles
probably contributed to congestive heart failure,
now plaguing papa on his deathbed - loo
zing his tenuous grip on life,
where rigor mortis will find his body
chilled courtesy cold storage queue.

I feel sad today (September 29th, 2020)
and inconsolably weep,
cuz the man who helped beget me
after coroner pronounces
lovely bones lifeless heap
immediate fate most likely cremated
versus buried six feet deep

despite absence of his presence
cherished memories of his value,
yours truly will keep
plus recalling mine boyhood
chuck of full of bliss
particularly driving, fending, staving... off
bogeyman or any other menacing creep.
While sidestepping impediments,
Achilles heel stricken with paralyzing zap
chronically inducing captain klutz
to bemoan and yap,
i.e. (think) ***** trap
strategically laid down by the missus -

necessitating yours truly
to patschke with marauder map
in an to circumvent and handicap
becoming lame and crippled for life
essentially rendering me totally tubular
pathetic non-ambulatory chap.

Aforesaid dangerous tripping hazard,
the spouse I do calmly berate
causing me being waylaid
for very important date
and/or additionally hurrying

to forestall bowel movement,
viz urgent incommodious fate
mine impromptu tanglefoot (feet) dance step
doth ineluctably foment hate.

Ready to lash out courtesy sanity claws
meanwhile thee wife burst out with guffaws
me cursing Sir Isaac Newton's gravitational laws
one infuriated husband
our marital covenant, he swiftly redraws
subsequently divorce sputters
thru clenched jaws

underscoring how feigned wedded bliss
(actually shotgun marriage)
replete with many flaws
e'er since chance encounter

regarding future maternal cause
deux daughters we begat
packed their bags at tender age,
and left home without pause.

All these approximate
two score plus oddly even years
avoiding precarious hazardous risks wears
heavily reinforced steel tipped
crampon tricked out boots,
which rugged footwear eventually tears,
though they outlasted lifetime

predicted on advertisements and follow up
customer satisfaction questionnaires
as satisfied survivor traversing
harrowing riddled landscapes,
I feel adequately trained to join

most hardy (doubting thomas) mountaineers,
especially those with surname Reznick
livingsocial, snapchatting, and twittering in Switzerland
possibly linkedin with Harris heirs
this wordsmith conclusively blares.

I non-jokingly attest -
above recounted spectacle no humorous avail,
thereby true love moost prevail
when wife leaves mayhem and bedlam
nothing boot trail of destruction without fail
excellent preparation if/when
purblind poetic papa needs to learn Braille.
Unitarian Universalist Church
situated in Cherry Hill, New Jersey,
whereat every Sunday morning, I
Matthew Scott Harris) blessedly zoom
virtually attend congregation
(recent attendee) experience

fellowship, albeit an outlier,
these two score plus one year out the womb,
glad mine eldest sister (Amelie) informed
her only brother (me) opportunity tomb
make living social occasion linkedin,
(albeit) remote from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Yours truly spurred to articulate,
how con brio panache wisdom and wit
communicated courtesy aforementioned minister
thus thank you very much Margret O'Neall
ye infuse engaging monologues with esprit
de corps - spellbinding sermons also leavened
wordsworth their weight in... oreos, I admit

cannot eat one, which craving
sly advertisements transmit
subliminal creme filled messages tasty habit
forming just desserts, no matter tummy full
bitesize goodies stuffed in mouth before exit
ting table, no matter uncouth and unhealthy
stomach distress within abdominal pit.

The theme earlier yesterday September 27th, 2020 ye
presented, especially hit home hard, i.e.
regarding sincere apology,
cuz once rancor (bitter anger) rife between
mine nonagenarian widower papa and me,
whose sole son experienced harsh diatribes

against alienating, estranging, isolating... (see
pattern whereby introverted lad maintained
emotional, familial physical and social
distancing about three
times twenty decades before
coronavirus (COVID-19) precautions in vogue.

No matter unpleasant feelings festered ma lord
toward father and didst rent asunder
intractable mutual discord
which persisted for ages ambivalence scored
major points (oh... by the way...,
our dada twill soon ford
River Styx within netherlands,

cuz he not long for this world wide web)
thus for that reason, I dare not make hoo-ha,
nor federal case, and hence reconciliation explored
triggered partially in accord
with thought provoking exemplary disquisition
presented by Reverend Dr.
Margret A. O'Neall Developmental Minister.

Mortality foists incumbent task to make amends
doubly so since dearly departed mother
whose passing from terra firma extends,
fifteen plus Earth orbitz round the sun,

she never experienced friends'
with thyself (her aloof male offspring)
an existence of solitude he trends
thou promised himself to reach out
to father before his spirit inhabits netherlands.
2020 presidential election
already promises seat of pants suspense
hint of (post apocalyptic) coming attractions
see – https://www.aol.com/article/news/2020/09/25/
probe-into-discarded-ballots-becomes-campaign-
outrage-fuel/24630731/

supposed poll worker(s) accidentally
(yea right) fomented kerfuffle
imposible mission witnessing
transgression Republicans wont muffle
reasonable rhyme legitimate votes

purportedly some how amidst
waste paper bin (laden) shuffle
crumpled beyond recognition
easily mistaken (without
mushroom for error) for truffle.

Among electorate (debacle trumpeted)
includes nonagenarian widower papa
just biden his time before he doth die
Boyce Brandon once formidable guy
(no sir name included – nose hurry)
bedridden his shrunken body dost lie
regarding treating Normandy Farms
estates (elder care) neglect an outcry.

However hospice care consideration
thankfully option included within fee
to occupy said accommodations he
(thy male parent into cyber spatial void,

I lament spirit hoop fully heard
by long deceased dearest mommy)
strong possibility because condemnation
rankles sensitivity of yours truly namely i.e. me
aforementioned predicated upon obloquy.

More to the point paperback writer wannabe
aimed to communicate courtesy thee
humble wordsmith, concerning alarming acme
of storied chain of events horrific see
thing unfortunate voting wretch,
who supposedly disposed free
(half dozen) mail in ballots.

One need not be a brain scientist
or rocket surgeon to interpret gist,
whereby golden opportunity never missed
to embroil commander in chief
whose critique he could not desist
concerning numero uno pet peeve kissed
regarding fraudulent claim to White House keys

goodbye, viz to shortchange said totalitarian wannabe
as dear leader for life linkedin with staged imbroglio,
whereat supposed auld Don Trump ****** his fist
into air out of defiance absentee mode grist
for mill casting choice other than standing in long line
coughed on, cuz registered eligible voters ******
off, and disbelieve coronavirus (COVID19) real.

Even me dad suffering mild dementia
avidly watches television news,
who hopes to live long enough
before paying Charon mandatory dues
(to cross the River Styx)
papa ardently, confidently, fervently..., and hankers
to hear "Joe Biden" named forty sixth president
and could see right thru above concocted ruse.
Impossible mission to escape end of life woe
visit courtesy grim reaper
inevitable for every mortal,
whether he/she alive
yesterday, today or tomorrow
quintessentially senescence tabled
upended wrested status quo
belief, dogma, faith...
(i.e. Unitarian Universalism)
albeit atheistic to the core

mine temporal perspective yes and no
affects how I process death,
afterlife mystery only
googly dead souls know,
yet intimation possibly presage consciousness
prior to corporeal being given heave **
cashing in chips tantamount
to omnipotent deity collecting his/her escrow,
whether thee cremated or buried six feet below.

Our short lived presence upon terrestrial firmae
forces yours truly (me) to reconcile and address
internalized emotions whereby decades elapsed
when sole son (begat between thee and mother)
found irksome offspring regarding shortcomings
triggered hollow ultimatums begetting madness
to flourish toward meek offspring inept at filial

duties, who sought refuge within known solitude
usually finding second born progeny holed up in
his bedroom ofttimes fervently engrossed reading
imaginatively escaping trials and tribulations +
wishing he could magically transform himself
far from irate parents, within their good graces
he fell short short since January 13th MCMLIX.

Methinks ambivalence towards papa
(a nonagenarian widower)
comprising mein kampf
three score plus one year
constituted ineradicable unseen wall,
nevertheless impenetrable as any **** weir

metaphorical barrier laid brick
by figurative brick encompassed unilinear
chronological invisible breastwork did snare
nobody but thyself anomalous to grown man
exhibited effeminate characteristics
as young lad, though not queer,

nor the least bit attuned and/or aware
about ****** orientation,
but simply introverted quite clear
to any casual observer,
a veritable outcast (of Poker Flat), i.e.
cuz I experienced alienation everywhere

at home (then 324 Level Road,
school (Henry Kline Boyer Elementary)
retreated to boyhood bedroom
contrived make believe playmates
courtesy overactive mental cog and gear
named Harny and Dinny never insincere.

Dear papa, your frail physical health disallows
in apropos, callous, and egregious to trot out
vindictive remonstration harkening back days
witnessed by extreme grievances signalling
caustic verbal brickbats lobbed squarely upon
passive progeny unable to attain expectations,
(albeit reasonable), I fell far short (physically

emotionally, and academically) to acquire atta
boy approbation rather constant browbeating
frightened timid lad scared of his own shadow
methinks yours truly shameful embarrassment
whereby failure to accomplish basic income
invariably congenital fait accompli linkedin
with purported schizoid personality disorder.
(at 9:31 AM Eastern Daylight Time)

Empyrean découpage citadel
betokens (bespeaks) autumnal arrival
nine thirty one ante meridian
chariot of fire emblazons telltale signature,
one humble human doth
bid summer and his squandered life adieu.

Already crisp cool mornings kiss mine cheek
refreshing air wafts thru longish hair
trademark characteristic property
aging pencil neck geek
attends brief bathroom charge coffee
exotic brew jolted kidneys leak
***** not kidding water closet doth reek.

Especially third season upon us mortals
Montgomery county, Pennsylvania
said geographic real estate sloughs
(i.e. sheds) summer dog days
necessitating shuddered windows
disallowing natural aeration
to circulate thru unit B44
cozy one bedroom apartment.

I will stave off clicking on the heat,
as long as possible,
yet invariably come first frost
yours truly will renege
and surrender creature comfort,
albeit climate controlled temptation
similar when global warming
quite evident predicated upon
Farmers' Almanac prophetic prediction.

Though ecology minded
quick acclimation to unseasonable
hot or cold temperatures
finds me adjusting thermostat dial
mainly to thwart palmar hyperhidrosis
regarding turning on air conditioning
during sweltering triple digit
(Fahrenheit) thermometer readings,
versus absent sweaty hands
courtesy old man winter arctic blast.

Ah... remembrance of wood burning stove papa lit,
to dispense chill pervading childhood home
324 Level Road christened "Glen Elm"
within national (local registry)
when Leiper family initially occupied estate
at that time (think early twentieth century)
merely intended as summer getaway.

This time of year finds me
to reminisce and wax poetic
nostalgia more pronounced,
particularly as aspiring wordsmith
orbitz the sun seemingly with greater rapidity
twelve months cycling at light speed
ruminating, punctuating, and narrating mortality

accentuated when flora and fauna
exhibit metaphorical raiment
presaging Mother Nature's fall fashion show
linkedin with approaching senescence
prompting generic garden variety **** sapien
to rue his transience upon oblate spheroid.

Gentrification impossible mission
thus thy lovely bones will subsequently
become repurposed into ashes
sprinkled hither and yon to and fro
across elysium fields of happy hunting grounds.
(alternate title: days of yore bubba's zayda
flush with buggy boo horse sense).

Norristown City Hall police person
informed yours truly
on September 15th, 2020
mine automotive driver license expired,
thus between January 13th 2019
and September 17th, 2020
I drove automobile,
(whether borrowed or owned)
without vehicular infraction.

Prevarication about me getting arrested absent bail
and locked up into solitary confinement without fail
predicated upon outdated invalid license lands me in jail
cuz fabrication jest haint gonna happen,
hammering out suspenseful account I cannot nail,
no matter I would love to concoct tall tale

Subsequently, yours truly
steers toward truth telling in the main,
whereby prefabrication painstakingly
heavily taxes me aging brain
especially bragging about
heavenly guardian angel,

said divine intervention I abstain,
though quite tempting
to (beer lee) draft believable hopping plain
vanilla drab lackluster circumstance,
and embellish a flimsy fib
including agent provocateurs quite urbane,

whereby unwittingly, haphazardly,
and accidentally committing
non moving violation
imposing driving record stain,
particularly when aforesaid
minor harmless transgression

invites punishing reign
innocently, only unintentionally
to flout PENNDOT rule,
which hoop fully doth explain
reason nevertheless quandary
necessitated posse comitatus.

Therefore ipso facto such quasi confession,
albeit unexciting and bland
necessitates self imposed liberty
letting mine imagination command
poetic license crafting experience
resident within dreamland,

where truthfulness I blithely expand,
cuz anonymous reader(s)
more inclined to gravitate toward firebrand,
wannabe, whereby reasonable rhyme
nothing particularly grand
written by invisible hand.

Provide me please gainful opportunity
to enable and allow
glorified, edified, and crucified across
millennia one divine creature hood da boss
(no not Bruce Springsteen)
sanctifying supposed dregs of humankind

essentially flotsam and jetsam dross
humdrum life of random Tulliver kin
inhabiting the mill on the floss
a riveting saga (also Silas Marner
written by same author) with matted gloss.

Ah, methinks how George Eliot  
(Mary Ann Evans) quite literary ace,
her fiction she didst buttress and brace
galvanizing, fictionalizing, 
and enumerating disgrace
appears quaint, thee second 
decade of twenty first century
nostalgic imaginary place,

yours truly would clamor to live
exempt from careering, jackknifing, 
and speeding, rat race
peace of mind impossible mission 
leisurely pedestrian strolling
(think about taking stop at Willoughby),
where helter skelter breakneck pace
nonexistent without a trace.
nonagenarian father experiences at Normandy Farms

Though dead, I gauge
these past one hundred and four plus months
linkedin with Gregorian calendar page
mine mother would be aghast

at deplorable inhumane outrage
played out upon Normandy Farms -
Bluebell, Pennsylvania site
where papa (a pricey
senior folk facility), he doth stage
his final showdown

consigning grim reaper
to tender body, mind, and spirit equipage
regarding preparations undertaken
heading enroute to netherlands
corporeal essence repurposed for unknown usage

though disbeliever in afterlife,
at least our beloved dada
will be freed (once and for all)
presently locked in solitary confinement
disgraceful undeserving penitential sinful wage.

Impossible mission to renounce humor
mine healthy coping mechanism de jure
sprinkling badinage doth beckon and lure
no matter said topic of death lacks cure,

unlike non mortal trial and/or
tribulation oftimes, I communicated before
namely other poetic endeavors
with reasonable rhymes less or more

yours truly hashed out, cuz apropos
persiflage my middle name
helping me endure
declining health and concomitant score,
regarding the once strapping handsome man,

who nsync with mama begat your
truly decent aspiring wordsmith
whereby cloaked skeleton
wielding a large scythe
very soon whisks away loved one extempore,

which bon voyage forever
means onset of tears and sorrow endure
however long mourning process prevails
possibly remaining years I remain healthily alive
perhaps (ideally) at least two score.

Lockdown courtesy coronavirus (COVID-19)
limits administration towards he who birthed us
(myself, and two siblings,
an older and younger sister), a plate glass screen,
nevertheless, I envision an emotional scene
bidding permanent laissez faire thee well,
who will soon rejoin Harriet,
his dearly departed forever queen.
(alternatively titled: tardy duff fender of assertiveness,
especially after adjusting following insanity clause
affixed with rubber baby-buggy bumpers)

Methinks I nearly got snookered
courtesy CVS employee at store number 7569
(address: 1206 North Gravel Pike,
Zieglerville, Pennsylvania 19492)
September ninth, two thousand and twenty.

Saleswoman rattled off spiel
regarding CVS Carepass program
the missus immediately
became suspicious of aforementioned deal
every month five dollars
debited from checking account,
figurative highway robbery,
and/or outright steal.

The above trifling
unspectacular wrought scenario
an exception to rule,
whereby yours truly usually
spurred Manichean inner duel
witnessed by guns ablazing
trampling outspokenness
giving Isaac Bashevis Singers,
Gimpel the fool

run for his in dove viz hubble money
now forced into dire straits,
where chicks free yea
how **** sapiens cruel
nasty, short and brutish beastly species
devises sadomasochistic tool
hankering, and hungering to starve
think also about anonymous
innocent tortured soul (me, ha)

kept in solitary confinement,
with no chance of parole
a convict for life i.e. hard skool
of knocks alum deceived
hired, and lobotomized
slave driven human mule
donkey *** tee (hee hee hee),
and fed diet of worms
in tandem with thin gruel.

Far to often annals
constituting mein kampf,
I experienced oblivious naiveté
undergoing blitzkrieg linkedin
with scapegoat honorific,
now sortie give snort against
mine passivity harrumph!

Dan D. yankee from Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania didst doodle and dawdle
planting feather in figurative cap - yay
perceptive sixth sense analogous to xray,
yours truly more wise

to the insidious mean way
dominant nasty, short
and brutish human beasts
Machiavellian bullies instill fear
for egoistic personal gain oye vey

immediately judging me as prime target
oh my dog... early in grade school
threatening hateful taunts got underway
I attest suffering verbal abuse
persists even today

offtime couched within feigned concern,
yet sinister motives at heart stay
anger toward able, eager and ready
poetic tactics launched courtesy shipshape quay
zee reasonably rhyming literary barbs to portray,

how creative poetic technique can outweigh
Norse (er horse) sense
scrawled by Lake Woebegone
bachelor farmers' guardian angels
originally harkening from Norway
deported to Normandy Farms,

including me nonagenarian papa,
cuz they (you decide who)
started to trumpet melee
predicated when power of attorney
given to a girl named Amélie,
dime a dozen teller (of tall tales)
at Wells Fargo Bank.
September 8th, 2020

I plunge further into
erudite epistemological philosophication
courtesy said renown British polymath,
philosopher, logician, mathematician,
historian, writer, social critic,
political activist, and Nobel laureate.

Whew! His treatise
A History of Western Philosophy Quite profound 
grist for intellectual mill
yours truly, a johnny come lately (me)
doth thirstily swill.

Though challenging material
to comprehend without shadow of doubt,
yours truly disciplines himself
to utter words out loud
in an effort accentuate, enunciate, inculcate...

No matter said storied author
among grateful dead fifty plus years,
I experience a communion
integrating esprit de corps
of one garden variety
beetle browed foo fighter (me)
linkedin courtesy immortality of soul.

Slow and methodical thru trenchant material I wade
steeping yours truly signature writing stock in trade
while sprawled out on bed housed within
one bedroom apartment (B44)

Highland Manor Apartments
(situated in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
owned by Grosse and Quade,
one of the largest residential
property management firms in this area.

Analogous to basking robin luxuriating
within his/her medium of taster's choice,
I experience with exultant and exuberant
express within poetic quasi-motto rejoice.

Book learning brings me tremendous delight,
whereby my mind soars to immense height
despite eyes forced to shut courtesy blinding light,
nevertheless joie de vivre prevails gleaning
precious nuggets of knowledge to ease
penurious and precarious penniless plight
prompting provocative dreams tonight.

Figurative meaty tender vittle morsels
temporarily appease appetite
dentures no drawback into juicy tidbits to bite
impossible mission countless passages to cite
each page chock full
food for thought delight

either factual or fictitious
voluminous tome doth excite
buzzfeeding Dharma bums' fanciful flight
occasionally curiosity finds him (me)
scrutinizing mind boggling gametophyte

phase regarding plants,
(the dominant form in bryophytes -
mosses and liverworts -
reproduce by means of spores
released from capsules),

less familiar to most people, I highlight
smattering botanical information insight
nsync with tidbit
about mineralogy namely jacobsite,
a black magnetic
isometric mineral MnFe2O4.

Fifty plus shades of gray matter (mine)
undergoing voluntary torturous subjection
i.e. stoking, perusing, and manhandling
a heavy (Sisyphean) subject matter
(honest to dogs' truth),
I Kant understand a single word!
Got outta bed boot
did not drag comb against head
of  beetle browed foo fighter,
he did not arise
bright eyed (by George), nor bushy tailed
to bucket flush toilet.

After attending her asinine
morning toiletries, the missus
lovingly nudged me awake
quickly urging me to betake
sleepyhead husband pronto to bathroom,

(no matter I got bowled over from behind plus
additionally getting flush while hurriedly
caught up with current movement),
nevertheless despite being anointed
de facto proxy plumber,
crowned emergency attendant

incorporating obligatory undertones
yours truly summoned
one man bucket brigade
to block and tackle
messy task at hand,
cuz jack (***) of all trades
and master of none
immediately got jibberjobber
self into action.

Accessible bathtub and shower linkedin
as washing facilities,
hence after pouring voluminous hot water
into maw majesty,
viz Ms porcelain goddess,
she gurgled and gushed with delight,

thus avoiding the need
to call maintenance man,
whose availability of sundays
(September 6th, 2020
no exception to rule)
more difficult than
finding needle in haystack.

Once morning ***** deed
done dirt cheap duty completely done,
cuz sudden necessity to evacuate arose,
strong ****** need,
to excrete I could not ignore, but only heed
lest aging garden variety
long haired pencil neck geek,
would figuratively experience

a posteriori his bottom dropping out
subsequently with dog speed
donned in Scottish tartan
and Harris tweed
pink frilly ("I hate boys")
nonetheless monogrammed underwear
adorned with precious venerable bead
hmm... methinks hyperbole
token heterosexual doth exceed.

*** side resorting to poetic dramatization, eh
generic guy relishes word play touché
so please pardon me this literary antic okay
a non believer regarding conformity
also atheist, which confession he will pray
fly high wherein realm harboring soul of
Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger,
comte de Saint-Exupéry.
courtesy Fluoxetine hydrochloride

Fluoxetine Hcl (C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective Serotonin
Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,

and obsessive-compulsive disorder
the above symptoms
profoundly experienced by yours truly
said prescription medication
seriously impacts sleep (mine).

Debilitating panic attacks
wrought (particularly years gone by)
physiological displeasures chiefly constituting
vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration, adrenaline
coursing thru body,

whereby Prozac (brand name regarding
aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable, unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, jackknifing... functionality
hijacking life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Essentially yours truly experiences
dilemma analogous to sleep deprivation,
cuz ofttimes upon arising,
I feel utterly tuckered out, exhausted, bushed...
thus zapped body, mind and spirit

ill suited to physical,
mental or spiritual endeavor
subsequently lovely bones (mine)
(pine to join grateful dead)
rather than feebly kickstart
lame effort to write, read or meditate.

Thus respecting Sir Isaac
Newton's first law of motion
a (human) body at rest
inertia keeps said entity at rest.

Interestingly enough as
daylight doth wax and wane
casting dark shadows upon urbane
countenance buzzfeeding hidden reservoir
exerting estimable energy
decreasing arduous strain

therefore purposefulness,
I seek renewable resource to imbue
garden variety generic
doubting thomas and ordain
him (i.e. me) with spontaneous

magnificent grandiloquent enlightenment
ala Orson Welles Citizen Kane
laughable comparison linkedin
with story extraordinaire quite insane
September 4th, 2020 insight one can gain
perchance even coaxing passable poem
from deep within Matthew Scott Harris' brain.
Metaphorical troubled waters deluge
pitched me to and fro,
analogous to ghosts
that haunted Ebenezer Scrooge,
yours truly violently tossed
impossible mission to experience refuge

except when deeply engrossed
between bound pages
thick and juicy tome one garden variety
generic bookworm doth ravish
escape courtesy his imagination
especially when tomes I wade thru huge.

Impossible mission to identify figurative source,
whereby I felt obliged to battle unseen force
blowing strong as Lake Wobegon
Norwegian bachelor farmers,

whose ****** forebears heavily bundled
nevertheless healthy as horse,
implacable foe bore down perforce
(think Sisyphus pushing boulder) of course.

Try as I might to conjure where in the world
(wide web then nonexistent) diminutive lad
experienced his psyche got hurled
hither and yon as hibernating animals squirreled

nuts, what weather forecasters predicted
severe winter, where below zero temperatures
any ill clad **** sapien imperiled
against the elements (of style),

would freeze to death succumbing
to brutally cold underworld
mine lovely (prepubescent) rattling bones
nearly swept me into icy netherworld
courtesy anorexia nervosa
aforementioned harsh adversity

now formerly starved little boy
can experience virtually augmented reality
where lifelike simulated scenarios,
when **** kids
easily craft bytes designating computerworld.

Best now to condense and conclude
(without being in **** sitter writ nor rude)
the aforementioned tasty morsel food
for thought one ordinary wordsmith hewed
tragedy that befell aging baby boomer

one quiet natured contemplative dude,
who **** also an aging pencil necked geek
still garnering psychological succor
delving into select printed material

some books dog eared and pages getting unglued
hoop fully amusing poem he brewed
ideas percolated within me noggin
purposely depriving body viz nutriments
no longer eschewed

cuz indelible harm wrought,
such conjecture imbued
half dozen decades elapsed since
necessary sustenance I did agonizingly exclude
adolescent mystery still not understood.

As I racked up orbitz around Earth
physical shortcomings bespoke
self evident dearth
nsync with corporeal weathering transpired,
a band of adipose tissue

encircled abdominal girth
allowing, enabling, and providing
golden opportunity many love handles
whereby countless jellyrolls
of flab signify self worth.
Our beloved youngest daughter Shana Aubrey
(endearingly called “Shayne Punim”)
still feels under the weather,
with symptoms centered around gastrointestinal tract,
though she lives in Bend, Oregon
(experienced her pseudo autonomy
before she completed eighteen Earth orbitz
approximately three and a half years ago).

Said healthy apple of mine (myopic) eye
begat between me and thine married mate
conceived approximately late April/early May
nineteen ninety eight
lived with my youngest sister,
whose husband George Andrew Dunning

both willingly, readily and eagerly
accepted role as proxy parents
while the child we bore
matriculated (methinks -
but don't quote me) – as sophomore
at Redmond Efficiency Academy
whereat high school diploma she acquired.

Near impossible mission to track her down
plus this papa desists unnecessarily intruding
aware how he never healthily underwent
loosed apron strings, but overstayed his welcome
never choosing apropos time
regarding painfully breaking home ties.

Sadness manifested nsync with empty nest syndrome
I rarely succumb, whereby sentimental bouts
finds yours truly reminiscing father daughter bonding
less infrequent episodes getting teary eyed
versus managing to converse with progeny
on adult level, nevertheless vicariously

feeling despair when thee aforementioned offspring
when she describes being physically unwell
with abdominal cramps, bloating, nausea...
ultrasound hinted her malady
inherited courtesy the missus
namely Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD).

Her psychological and social progress phenomenal
since being biologically gifted to us
February 4th, 1999
diagnosed with developmental delay
(more specifically high functioning asperger syndrome
closest affliction to garner medical coverage)
nothing short of an amazingly graceful
metamorphosis from irascible toddler

to mild mannered young lass
hmm... okay a few bumps along figurative road
when above named girl afforded us challenges
preceding maturation and eventual bonhomie
especially when late blooming darling
manifested cognitive faculties
(albeit acquired abilities fraught with challenge).

Appreciation abounds for extensive intervention
Montgomery County (Pennsylvania) Intermediate Unit
marks commencement where flesh and blood
(concerning mine and the missus begat)
bundle of pride and joy
despite tasked with being legal guardians.
(alternately titled:
why yours truly crafted six electronic aliases).

No rhyme nor reason beatle browed
beastie boy long ago
created INXS of half dozen
email addresses gallivanting
feigning himself a most sought after

singular modest beau
courtesy crass brazen duplicity
eventually forced to eat crow
campy bonehead devoured carrion
(blech) property extinct dodo.

Egregious discreet escapades
sneeze silly explains at chew
(albeit lamely) philandering,
foolish extramarital dalliances,
I now regret and genuinely eschew

interesting complete one hundred eighty
sobering perspective regarding grandview
emotional shell shocked fallout experienced
courtesy this wanderlust myopic
quite reformed practicing Jew
whose doubting thomas belief, credo, dogma...

closely aligned with Unitarianism milieu
***** deeds done dirt cheap willingly crafted
previous poems offering adulterated preview
years after, the missus
got told deux gals I did hammer, nail and *****

at present juncture within space time continuum,
yours truly maintains critical view
bespeaking polygamous antics,
now reviled when garden variety
generic primate initially acted cagey
while going bananas within human zoo.

I sought amorous affections
(think verboten fruit) cuz marriage went askew
(daily altercations transpired
between me and the missus),

thus as iterated above
unhappy husband stealthily finagled bravado
(dreamt up one after another digital pseudonyms
blithely cavorting debauchery *******

unsuspecting self incrimination) cyber *** debut
successfully launched prurient hitherto
novel short lived role as Casanova
starring me... Matthew

Scott Harris whose hubris
coursed thru mine every sinew
until... worst fate than being caught
by cannibalistic Zulu.
A History of Western Philosophy
copyright date 1945

Trenchant treatise purchased
August 25th, 2020
at Limerick Chapel Book Sale
(in Church gym)
offered old library books
cost 25 cents apiece.

Musty tome
seventy five years out of print
found welcome home
nevertheless mine brown
myopic eyes eagerly roam
affixing knowledge
within fifty plus shades
double ****** size
gray matter with cerebral dome.

Aging long haired pencil necked geek
said storied author I effusively bespeak,
his whose pedantic trademark style
revered analogous to beholding
resplendent riches property
of selfless sheikh.

Impossible mission to describe
intoxicating sensation when
yours truly doth imbibe
superfluous words cannot oversubscribe
most august emotional vibe.

Though agog where euphoria doth alight
each word, sentence, paragraph...
metaphorical tasty bite
read outloud with deliberate delight
(tis akin to kid in candy store)

senses luxuriate across
elapsed millenniums excite
genuine fanciful flight
comfortably numbskull buzzfeeding
until time for goodnight

becoming learned about height
civilizations flourished
food for thought insight
bedazzling mental receptors
as if fingers ****** jadeite

perhaps carved as
chess piece (think) knight
phosphorescence generating light
emanating courtesy enthusiasm
powered thru awesome might

thru simple pleasure reading
me oblivious to approach of night
ever since boyhood reveled within world
printed pages poured splendor
(worth more than fine spun gold) outright
dependable catharsis to ameliorate
most any psychological plight
strong medicine agreeable with

garden variety generic bookworm quite
now if ye will please pardon me
aye venture to experience
remote contra dancing right
fully ceased going since coronavirus (COVID-19),
if curious just access
https://www.thursdaycontra.com/
virtualDance.html website.
(alternately titled: tick tock runneth amuck)

Ever since the advent of civilization
contrivances crafted to measure
days, weeks, months...
analytical “gifted” anonymous minds
wrought ever more sophisticated inventions
to divide existence into manageable units.

Now twenty first century **** sapiens
technological atomic clock work mechanisms
markedly catapulted by quantum leaps
immense degrees of precision  
extremely accurate types of devices
linkedin with state of the art electronics.

At this fleeting instant
(approximately 9:30 PM
August 23rd, 2020
ever so briefly wedged between
what elapsed and future events to arise)
impossible mission to isolate
that illusory present

not only cuz the herein now
flits away at light speed
(or greater - you're right quite dubious),
but also everywhere within
cosmic space/time continuum
infinite microscopic and
macroscopic events occur.

As an amateur thinker
I feel baffled when pondering
that crude convenient schema
whereby greater minds than mine
devised devices to measure passage of time.

Yours truly can barely articulate
his farfetched dumbfoundedness,
me merely a simple brute
(shortish but not so nasty),
whose permanently creased
furrowed brow courtesy
his scrutinizing noggin
encasing fifty plus shades of gray matter,

whereby one percent bonafide Neanderthal
deoxyribonucleic acid explains
atavistic predilection issuing primal grunting,
when foraging for small (lame) game,
cuz feeble minded twenty first century
run of the mill garden variety **** sapiens
amuses himself (mentally)
toying with Einsteinian paradigm.

Though barely able to fathom
mind bending and boggling concepts
theoretically linkedin if an object
subjected to travel speed of light
(particularly an objet d'art - ha

think The Persistence of Memory
series of clock paintings by Salvador Dali)
mass becomes infinite
as does energy required to move entity.

Obviously the ability to wrap one's head
(or hands for that matter) around,
humongous (super sized) material essence
filling subsequent seconds, minutes, hours...
defies feasibility to grasp,

neither could ways nor means
allow, enable and provide
any semblance to hold (tangibly) as solid
something so abstract
as a singular moment, yes?

The above (ambiguously stated) thought exercise
equally as challenging to locate
beginning and/or ending point
upon Möbius strip.
The following reasonable obsolete rhyme
verst heard in my faux class (sic) lilting brogue
courtesy coronavirus (COVID-19) rogue
wrought approximate sixth month academic hiatus
nevertheless September 1st, 2020
signals resumption of school year back in vogue.

Challenges abound as millions of students re:zoom
trudging off to..., yet another bus comes by... vroom,
whereby administrators establish
virtual and/or actual room
adapt to delegate assignments as reported by newsroom
facilitated by yours truly,
a bonafide married, yet unbridled groom.

Though mind boggling, death defying,
and harrowing scenario daring to crisscross
(dangerous information highway road)
will confront those most qualified to teach
impressionable minds to overload
nevertheless I envy those learning
courtesy high tech mode.

Golden (gated) opportunity
spectacularly presented to bridge,
kickstart, and buttress  young minds
immodestly excited and
amenable to learn online

one old googly eyed
aging pencil necked geek
makes his poetically cameo appearance
crafting awareness about severe complication
hash-tagging those best equipped to teach,

which alternatives pinterest me
linkedin, trumpeted nsync with
tried and true methodology
(think white/blackboard
with markers and/or chalk respectively),

who by the way never got chosen to
clap erasers outside,
fold flag ditto after said
emblematic sanctified cloth unfurled,
nor serve as safety patrol.

Though born within baby boom generation,
I horrendously (nobly) struggled
to acquire cognitive consonance
floundered like a fish out of water
forever barely achieving passable grade

He readily attests de facto failure
if hypothetically enrolled in kindergarten today,
I would get demoted to preschool
(a slight bit of hyperbole),
thus both laments abysmal track record,
whereby attending conventional

schools of hard knocks
(situated within Lower Providence district)
emotionally fracturing psyche
until this very waking moment,
and moost likely mine
remaining tenure on Earth.

Concomitant to foster
misgivings of wretchedness,
I harbor jealousy at young whip smart kids,
who already possess laudatory command

concerning salient technological knowhow,
far beyond paternal parental stage
yet speculate how child raising
could allow, enable and provide
insight into latest cutting edge binary wizardry.

Less impactful upon precocious
boys and girls hungry for knowledge
includes protracted time
fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters
experienced opportunities to
relish countless hours

tutoring son(s) and/or daughter(s)
patiently mentoring progeny
about rudimentary concepts
(plus edifying offspring
about all encompassing netiquette)

aided in turn with
sophisticated computer programs
(possibly created by little Einstein)
invariably lovingly bonding (yeah right).
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