eligibility predicated upon mandatory fingerprinting

Courtesy anticipatory anxiety
breeds palmar hyperhidrosis
(i.e. hands adrip
with profuse perspiration)
honest to dog truthfully
most inconvenient malady

holds Earthling (yours truly)
in precarious emotional balance
me silently screaming
against ill fated physiological disorder
also upending prospective
employment ambitions (parttime).

Qualification to acquire said voucher
(essentially to help pay rent)
slips thru slippery fingers (mine),
thus wet out further ado, the extent
I broadcast sweaty plight
less for empathy than to air lament
anyway syndrome already expounded
by garden variety generic gent.

Accursed genetic unpleasant quirk
(vis a vis polyhidrosis)
thwarts virtual, social, and political
(yes folks I sought storied government perch)
ambitions toward gaining traction,

to experience cosmic consciousness,
hence moost every digital,
interpersonal, practical (joking) aspiration
figuratively dashed into
bajillion pieces to no avail.

Even as a wee lad
scores of decades yesteryear
I distinctly remember
abysmal introvertedness where
psychological torture
wracked psyche there
boot for the grace of dog,

this muttering kid felt queer
son of a gun ousted joining foo fighters
as a third musketeer
despite qualifying as rightful heir
thus in the least sought trappings
indicative of very important person
while entombed within recycled bier.

Subsequently, mine lifeless being cremated
ashes scattered to four winds
inert matter repurposed courtesy Gaia
physical earthly dwelling irrelevant

speculation abounds since time immemorial,
what constitutes purpose of existence
a chicken and egg thing
where copulation (pertaining to humans)
triggers hormonal secretion

poised to unsuspecting strike haploid
female reproductive cell, or gamete
if bonafide ***** deed done dirt cheap
attains crowning glory
fertilized **** results

reputedly engendering conception
though uncertainty when nascent embryo
considered greater than inchoate
amalgamation of cells.

Ideally biological processes
merrily humming along
once gestation period complete
viable organism (**** sapien) born
oblivious to nothing else except
except basic needs and wants

until adequate mental,
physical, spiritual development
necessitates progeny to fend for her/himself
wherein adult autonomous species
enroute to secure a place to call their home,
which onerous cost
eased courtesy housing choice voucher.

Aforementioned county program
synonymous with section 8,
though methinks the latter term
evoked non-positive connotation
within mind of prospective landlord.

Regarding yours truly
he experienced setback
amplified by Luddite propensity
nostalgic longing for simpler age
bring back horse and buggy
better yet find me a mancave
and/or apprise me
ideally via email
Flintstone web page modality

allowing, enabling, and providing
excellent linkedin access
whereby augmented
and/or augmented reality
telecommunication simulation
delivers, exports, and ferries lame poetaster
to small town America
a place that time forgot and

the decades cannot improve
within which dwell
strong women, good-looking men
and above average children
Wobegon place name
preserving lifestyle
exhibiting voluntary simplicity
though aforementioned fictitious locale
fires up imagination as does

a place called Willoughby
flourishing along outer limits
of twilight zone
buzzfeeding outlier zee
crème de la crème confabulist
this side of Schwenksville
hankering towards... nebulous
body, mind and spirit synchronicity

courtesy sweat of mine brow equity
acquiring alliance, cognizance, existence,
guidance, intelligence...
think **** Proenneke
alone in the wilderness survivalist
jack of all trades
I would live free,
yet nevertheless die

ill equipped to captcha victuals
and/or drink
to stave off hunger
and/or thirst respectively
one twenty first century beastie boy
heavily dependent upon
urbanization, mechanization,
industrialization, civilization
to savor creature comforts

climate controlled environment(s)
courtesy finite fossil fuel extraction
**** sapiens scourge upon planet Earth
me metaphorically on par
one more human parasite
zapping nonrenewable resources
thus desirous (yet helpless)
to forsake consumerist lifestyle

yet lack ways and means
to toil physically
to wrest good n plenti
juicy fruits of labor,
which initial premise
as iterated with poem title
dramatically off tangent, yes?

(alternately titled: courtesy Doctor Donald Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia

August thirteenth nineteen hundred and ninety nine
forever etched in annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.

Prior to the following awful events
that unfolded aforementioned day
somewhat solemn and gray
I did not consider myself unduly superstitious
nor prone to bouts of triskaidekaphobia/
paraskevidekatriaphobia  no how no way.

Yet that particular Friday
the thirteenth baptized me
in the ****** waters of superstition unequivocally
whence upon waking said particular morning
the search for funereal garb found me
burrowing into a small closet  
while bending on one knee,
and nonchalantly rummaging

for suitable article of clothing to wear
(per the wake/
sitting shiva of William Zison
the octogenarian father in law)
an unbeknownst ill fate
lurked just seconds away
ready to captcha an innocent prey
as any unseen observer
and/or pet would agree.

Hands rifled and rustled
thru various and sundry
miscellaneous items in one or another box
mostly clothing and other apparel
draped in coat hangers
plus a precariously perched

heavy tin of yarn heavy as rocks
began to teeter from top ledge,
than made a slow inexorable descent
in direct path of thy crown
containing valued mental stocks.

The topmost part of thine skull
felt impact of sharp metallic rim
that left an indentation in soft part of scalp –
more’n an abrasive skim
and bent circular shape

of contrivance filled to the hilt
one law of physics pertaining
to falling object (taught to me)
acquires greater mass
accelerating with velocity and vim.

Upon reflexively yet tentatively
touching raw sore spot
fingertips revealed presence of warm liquid
soon coagulating into a pulpy gordian knot
from sharp lipped impact registering nausea
and vertigo quite a lot
hence sewing crafts managed to stitch
a tattooed laceration forming a ****** clot.

Body writhed with physical torment
as if being only partially alive
whereby waves of blacking
or passing out found me swooning
ready to take a swan dive
nonetheless from Schwenksville

to Penn Valley, I did
(by divine grace) safely drive
whence family members and relatives
once destination reached, the motley crue
began organized car pool arrangements
per heading off to the cemetery,

which caravan formation  
similar to a human bee hive,
yours truly declined to go
communicating persistent distress from mishap
I bowed wowed out, stayed home

and kept company with a dog
(purportedly man’s best friend)
(said pet belonging to a friend
of eldest sister in law),
whose open palmed overtures
of mine did not jive.

An impulse found fingers reaching out
to stroke this unfamiliar animal
supposedly man’s best friend
only to find sharp teeth from canine jaw
clamped down ******* hand

which second ****** injury,
I did immediately tend
while bolts of white hot pain
shot thru lower extremity of palm
radiated upward through forearm
into shoulder did wend.

Until the grim reaper
whisks yours truly away
common joe just biden his time
chronologically old fogey
(albeit boyish looking goodfella)
at moon shadows he doth bay

meanwhile stricken with
dripping wet sweaty palms,
perhaps attired with
trademark Harris tweed
this August twelfth
two thousand twenty dog day,

viz just the mere thought
to seek part time employment -
cuz I wanna supplement
(social security disability) income
perhaps out of desperation
selling myself short on eBay

unless an anonymous reader
espies adept ace at foreplay
i.e. whereby his linkedin word choice
oft times evokes double entendre
essentially this poetaster
at large concocts gourmet

reasonably rhyming literary cuisine -
thus hip hip hooray
invariably an anonymous
respondent will inveigh
against playful badinage,
and/or perchance some grumpy

humorless cat (woman)
originally whose nine lives spent
housed within San Jose
will take objection with base (sic)
lame ribaldry (mine) laughable
courtesy none other than kkk,

(kooky, klutzy, and kitschy tendency)
who though reformed Caucasian Jew
**** sitter me laughingstock, nevertheless
(modesty notwithstanding)
he brews the best latte
this side of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,

where whiplashing, madding, and
clamoring crowd fuels melee
along Perkiomen trail
over hills and across Atlantic Ocean
eventually leads to Norway,
which namesake river from “Pakihmomink,”
or “where the cranberries grow.”

Rather than get further
bogged down with inane zeal
I best steer clear of poetic poppycock
courtesy imaginary wheel

thus the following pablum I unveil
nsync with titled malady all to real,
which plight involves hyperhidrosis
quite a debilitating ordeal,

especially when thinking
to pursue gainful employment
emphatically steadfast
and honest think (me) leal
course this humble communicates
 
(hyperbolically) embodiment ideal
if seeking to gain insight how I feel
about myself, a tense body
inept to cartwheel.

Higher power our prayer for vehicle addressed
courtesy deliverance kindred lady luck,
we (the missus and me) blessed,
whereby each our expanded *****
nearly burst forth

(think analogous stuffed to hilt treasure chest)
managing without access
to automobile we did detest
metaphorically a deterrent
on par with climbing Mount Everest.

Wheel of fortune finds and concedes
good n plenty humor to cultivate
yours truly fielding mixed metaphor barley
without any sense and sensibility freight
not, neither pride nor prejudice to illustrate

merely lame jesting nsync with late
catcher in the wry methodology to obfuscate
dear reader, how ye will rate
poetic endeavor that doth undulate
without meaningful rhyme or reason.

Good karma iz reason
carefree mood I do avail
at expense of anonymous readers who bewail
lack of any cogent tangent scrunching brow
at each general detail

regarding my general disposition
ordinarily electric kool aid test without fail
permeates thru skin, sinew, muscle and bone
today unusually hearty and hale
lemme cut to the chase,
and explain why I feel spry

as vaguely iterated above,
our worse fate than being in jail
or being stranded at sea minus a lugsail
if surmised we acquired a vehicle
(2009 Hyundai Sonata - gold color)
ye figuratively hit nail

on head, thus ameliorating transportation woe,
which plight did prevail
since latter days of January 2020
finding the missus to rant and rail
constantly bemoaning accursed unfair travail.

Bless gratitude of Boyce Brandon Harris
mine nonagenarian papa
experiencing declining health
(he currently lives
at Normandy Farms retirement community
within Blue Bell, Pennsylvania),
his driving days came to screeching halt.

Though beset with setbacks
the endeavor to relinquish keys
(regarding aforementioned automobile)
into the hands of yours truly
courtesy coronavirus beast
presented quite thee challenge.

Initially karma dad owned (still does)
necessitated getting towed to garage
named G & S Tire & Auto
1798 Dekalb Pike, Blue Bell, PA 19422
father heavily praised above,
the mechanics (purportedly
both brothers - ordinary Joes)

patiently bided their time
awaiting insurance information
plus registration –
legal needed documentation
end result found endeavor
pulled off without a hitch.

Robert Oppenheimer manned
"The Manhattan Project", 
a top secret World War II mission                   
which constituted "Little Boy" codename
for a uranium gun-type
atomic bomb dropped at 0815

exploding 580 metres above civilians
with 15 kiloton blast yield
reduced 400 year old city to dust
Colonel Paul Tibbets,
the pilot/ bombardier
of the Enola Gay,

(the Boeing B-29 Superfortress
unleashing nuclear warfare
seventy years years ago today)
gives cause for this baby boomer to revisit
mentally, the annihilation,
extermination, incineration

the first of two storied Japanese enclaves
realizes how trifling my current bout
with mania paranoia, pneumonia
(from northern exposure)
contrasted with sinister
thermonuclear reaction

malevolent evil tower ushering
thermonuclear age epitomizing
coup de nada so graceful
means maximum military mutilation
though unwell, this inflammation poised
to be cured unlike subsequent generations of victims

who survived atrocious, egregious, hellacious,
judicious slaughter can only poorly be described
by this mortal with curable bacterial/viral infection
aghast at such wanton killing, more-so
via weapons of mass destruction
more devastatingly grisly

than those "experimental" bombs
loosed upon the innocent population,
whereby 75,000 people killed or fatally injured
with 65% of casualties nine years of age and younger
whence offspring of survivors
evincing excess genetic anomalies 

with fiery windy surface (think towering infernos)
temperatures topping 4,000°C 
upon terrain hallowed by ghastly
horrible deathly dominance
amidst shadow of sinister mushroom cloud
wickedly, ominously, and eerily looming.

Hunger pangs fuel mine poetic juices,
yours truly moost best be famished
resembling lovely bag of bones
beyond irreparable damage
wrought courtesy anorexia nervosa
nevertheless literary masterpieces
one written quick succession after another
profusely gushes forth

unstoppable tsunami surges rhythmically
metaphorically allowing,
enabling, and providing
voluminous water logged noggin
able, ready and willing
to burst infinite outpouring
at Möbius strip cerebral seams.

Hyperbole employed
regarding above attestation
regarding conducive ******
state to whip out
acceptable, passable and
reasonable rhyming creation

to experience and
witness poetic emancipation,
whereby until the end
of time modest glorification
endowed upon me who
imbues vast majority inspiration

of contemporaries, plus unborn peoples...
imagine renowned said
author wannabe just for kicks
(sinks false teeth
into verboten rotten apple -
oohing and aahing yum zuck)

subsequently vicious rumor affecting
millions future generations
debauched learned primates
inescapably slide into behavioral mosh pit
analogous to eventual
senescent cellular detritus

sloughed off vis a vis keratinization
anyway figuratively swinging around
deftly cycling back thru
imaginary infinite jesting loop
unlikely neither chance fame nor fortune
promises me financial materialization,

nope, not even until hell freezes over,
nor when grim reaper feasts upon
**** sapiens obliteration
witnessing every flora and fauna
molecular repurposing quantification
simulates signifying universal recycling

umpteenth big bang occurrence
erasing all cosmic consciousness
nary trace left behind
encompassing collective satisfaction
since genesis wrought life forms

wherein primitive organisms
begot reproduction fast forward bajillion years
madding crowd punctuated
planet Earth avast urbanization
essentially branding oblate spheroid
viz totally tubular vinyl city westernization.

Yes folks (meaning,
whomever espies these lines) alas and alack
I attest thy spouse located future heirloom -
while tentatively asleep in her bivouac
though far less likely,

(yet near more rewarding)
than finding bullet in gunnysack
and/or locating needle in haystack
constitutes the missus
(thru... worm my going with fluke...?)

She discovered logical whereabouts
concerning whaddya believe
simple 14 carat (ha - just kidding)
no custom made
tooled bejeweled purchased,
but symbol of marriage

originally acquired as prize
within box of crackerjack
and treated as goodluck
which find accompanied with
wife merrily drumming upon me buttucks
an old chestnut nursery rhyme named
knick knack paddy whack.

Emotional moment found
yours truly uttering yippee
while straddled upon rushing limb boughs
verbally punctuated courtesy warranty
said treasured ring kept guarded
by hand sum vigilant trustee
kissing me darling dumpling

as adequate reciprocity
suddenly husband experienced himself
as figurative payee
delivered out his
(mine) emotional melee
courtesy lucky find
more precious than fine spun gold.

Now bonafide marriage signifies
stronger invisible bond,
whereby Western Culture accepts
how wedding band doth correspond
unlikely once philandering quirky poet

will draw attraction, anyway
cuz insinuations he won't respond,
nor at this matrimonial juncture
(approximately two dozen plus years)
will one bard **** troubadour abscond.

How great if woebegone
misfortune could abate
such as obsessive compulsive
mailer daemons that create
psychological distress and chronic depression

whereby suicidal ideations will elevate
impossible mission to oust melancholy
against psyche doth grate,
though chatting (over telephone)

with eldest sister,
who lives within Woodbury, New Jersey
can figuratively illustrate
how solitary existence
encompassing isolated kalifate

only breeds despair within,
emotionally remote bailiwick
therein still stews
emotionally unbridled wordsmith
whose entire being does marinate.

Thru deliberate seductive
liaisons, ploys, and underhanded gambits,
I tendered illicit, explicit and complicit shenanigans
blatant actions to foment ****** adulteration.

Ofttime these discrete liaisons found me removing
linkedin metallic keepsake symbolizing union.

Years elapsed since this spouse pledged his troth,
he sported husbandly marital vows courtesy
monogrammed nondescript ring.

Impossible mission prevails to locate complimentary
jeweled tokens bespeaking our joint monogamous fidelity.

Yours truly beset with genuine disheartened woe
no matter public affections, he never doth show
thee above stated guilty admission signifying
mine absent overtures
(indicating even marginal wedded bliss),
the missus posits as wanting from me,
a common garden variety generic Joe Schmoe.

Self awareness heightened
within mental cogs and wheels
as if of a sudden hindsight brought
into sharp focus think barely audible
high pitched squeals
nsync with and accompanied by newsreel

silently displaying story
(solely my viewing pleasure) of mein kampf
metaphorically yours truly blown to bits
while hoisting myself by own petard
vigorously spiriting and
pitching me head over heels.

Regale thee dear reader,
I strive with utmost zeal
plus cathartic to expunge, (albeit poetically)
my pathetic, quixotic,
and reasonable rhyming spiel
hoopfully mine lame literary endeavor
won't upset any spur of the moment meal

thus tis wise I beat a hasty retreat
before ye sic on me Achilles heel
versatile scouts i.e. English language
verb boss and noun sensical police,
yours truly here expert escape artist
dog gone hard to grab hold,
cuz I trumpet art of making the deal.

Proclaiming high fidelity to wife high wed
she already with child (our first)
into holy matrimony we did nervously tread
"quod erat demonstrandum"- Q.E.D.

"what was to be shown" courtesy yours truly
this once upon a time
(about two and a half dozen
Earth orbitz ago) time newlywed.

Now he frets and experiences woebegone
as testimony scratching out
yet another one of his plaintive,
quirky, somber, ridiculously shown,
herewith I attempted to communicate none

previous endeavor ever considered exemplary
yet I diligently, honorably,
and literally try to hone
elusive talent hours daily
hermetically sealed, and sequestered alone.

No surprise, rhyme nor reason,
I tease out extraordinary threads,
sometimes deliberately writing
about current calendar day or season

for instance today July 28th, 2020
another hazy, hot, and humid summer day
and so what if I proclaim oust
Glenn Eric "Hurricane,"
that would be meteorological treason.

He (aforementioned
storied weather forecaster)
within Philadelphia metropolitan area
gets paid big bucks
and undoubtedly clucks
all self important
wears his outsize ego ranking deluxe

commandeering all his ducks
they line up pronto courtesy Drake
who doth josh regarding,
especially when climate change in flux,
and prediction turns out
unlike what got forecast.

Aside from tapping into
unusual poetic subjects to boot
I also attest one
garden variety generic ole coot,
i.e. me tends to wander off course
go ahead and ask if I give hoot
but speculate I house unique flair
that thus far literary endeavor

DID NOT generate any loot
moost likely (strong possibility)
fingers and toes kept crossed
posthumous fame and fortune will prevail
great expectation would NOT necessarily
be rendered null and void moot
since surviving spouse
and deux darling grown daughters
(humble dada his figurative horns he doth toot.

Anyway the eldest lives in Oakland, California
an avid runner keeping her wits thenceforward,
whereby youngest resides in Bend, Oregon,
the former more so emotionally scarred,
nevertheless both cherished offspring, I regard

both unwittingly, unintentionally, and undeservedly
"hoisted overboard with papa's petard"
subsequently any altruistic endowment
best done anonymously courtesy philanthropist
perhaps her/his superfluous disposable income
he/she seeks willingly to discard.

Without fanfare for common man,
(one modest fellow) ofttimes
experiences brilliant concluding verse
poetic pièce de résistance terse
valiantly trying to nurse

semblance of grandeur despite
feeble minded and lame effort to craft
aforementioned dead on arrival
lofty ambition I now curse

Hence back to figurative drawing board
after yours truly tried
initially, excitedly, and animatedly
describe his penchant to ford
treacherous humdrum blandness
rather more often than not,
nonetheless I resign myself

here on in follow drinking gourd
I blithely ignored
(and got lost someplate
within the Milky Way)
foolhardiness to hitch
metaphorical wagon to star
anchored and securely moored

now think of favorite author
whom even after death roared
to stellar renown scored
unanimous raving plaudits
(creative, innovative, and provocative)
aside from yours truly
utter embarrassment, he leans toward.

This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) **** sitters hyperbole
insync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage

bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth
merely relishes using me pickled brine

as a practiced whereby this word sleuth
doth das scribe today July twenty seventh, tooth
house sand and twenty, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative slugger and word sleuth

rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth
prominently tickles one and/or booth

Funny bones belonging to thee
generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot
teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
impersonator 'course I would unroll

welcome mat (a two seater)
roomy for outsize trumpeting despot
Scottish tartan and Harris tweed
(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot
dons hat as coordinator

three ring circuits, who runs hot
and cold compliments
courtesy schizoid personality disorder,
when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...
nine month parasite huddled in utero

with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot
assimilating, gestating, maturing,
signaling mine trademark bon mot,
which aforementioned gobbledygook
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor
for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem with humorous bent
quite aware acronym designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist

may not necessarily wax poetic,
thus scud daddy ling dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)
wrought literary dud versus
concocting Earth shaking event
versatility exemplifying fragment
infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent,

Who took reprieve NOT
exhausting his laudatory wellspring
subsequently all he wrote comprises something
inane, and without sophisticated substance
essentially absolute zero nothing
nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering
intellectual succor zilch
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving.

Far as the (ease)
severely myopic eyes can see,
nothing but polluted atmosphere
where skull and crossbones
memento mori betokens beware,

especially with increasing chronology
mortality becomes crystal clear
existential crisis yours truly didst despair
not so much death itself, but failure
(inadequacy) at livingsocial

mine life to the hilt
plain as day everywhere
casual attitude apropos
(pertinent personal paradigm
regarding aspiring poet)
equals laissez faire,
hence the following
his apt nom de guerre
emotionally castrated docile heir.

Minimal milestones attained he
blithely professes, grants, attests,
et cetera as general rule
barely squeaked by
(think graduating high school)
weatherbeaten and rust covered cerebral tool

smartly linkedin cogs and wheels
buzzfeeding delicate threads didst unspool
above mentioned metaphor near
perfectly, quintessentially, and realistically virtual
extempore description hoopfully edifies
thee dear reader figuratively yours truly
got swallowed into vortex whirlpool.

Maelstrom pitched me to and fro
hither and yon into damndest chaos
drowned me under dead end zone
fiercest storm ever
raging across Lake Woebegone
stronger than bajillion healthy
male primates oozing testosterone
empowered with indomitable strength
downing ordinarily toxic

(even infinitesimal quantity) quinone
think beefy hulking Hercules types
built powerlifters second to none
pulsating pecks, quaking quads,
and ripped reputations
far and wide known
with versatility now
smattering of lines
constituting this poem I hone.

Invisible omnipresent nemesis,
(perhaps the Schwenksville Strangler)
appears intent on asphyxiating,
and simultaneously forcing yours truly
to experience unbearable

oppression, humiliation, and agitation,
whereby joie de vivre extinguished
provoking sadness linkedin
with remembrance of things past
agonizing, kickstarting torturing

absolute zero ability to relish the present
essentially forced to recollect
nasty, short and brutish mailer daemons
characterizing diabolical ghosts
representing nauseating, and haunting

hurtful ***** deeds done dirt cheap
courtesy my selfishness
verboten fruit tasted within recent past
now the bitter aftertaste
analogous to Scrooge
suddenly horrified about his stingy self.

causing percussive rumpus

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking

undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest

against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything

(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye

lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom

(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, lacerated, and bruised.

Otherwise titled:
Mien wonderful wedded divine wife
whose piercing deliverance...,
a balm ameliorating tattooed strife
despite being dirt poor,

I cherish her pricelessness, how nice,
a beacon complementing/
supplementing homelife,
who will forever be with me
even during our (mine
atheistic couched) afterlife.

She, the mother
of our deux darling daughters, I adore
though ofttimes, she never knows...
expressing love tis quite an arduous chore
concerning me upon this (we quietly celebrate

wedding anniversary, whoa...
how quickly time doth pass, cuz we wed
yes already number xxiv, i.e. twenty four)
orbitz around the sun, we reminisce...

So much emotional turbulence
nearly rent asunder,
I accept culpability (yours truly)
strayed against sacred covenant
went wayward intrepid misdeeds

nearly perilously upended marriage,
said vaguely worded blunder
wrought catastrophic upheaval
reigned analogous how millenniums ago
Vandals, Huns, Goths,

et cetera did plunder
and ransack the
outer limits of Roman empire
our pledged troth shattered,
whereby the missus outclassed Zeus,

she emitted deafening thunder,
yet annulment nor divorce,
she would not grant
sigh of great relief
and mystery I wonder...

To this July twenty third -
how hands of father time
speedily lept away
two thousand and twenty,

an (extra) ordinary day
to be alive and appreciate sticktoitiveness
toward her, whose troth I pledged
courtesy thee (sacrilegious infidel)
mine discreet liaisons spouse forgave

NOT telling me hike along highway
and/or boulevard of broken dreams, motorway
avoided, cuz she thee missus
WANTED me to stay

in role of legally wedded husband
(and father to deux special grown lasses)
when they (progeny)...
were just newborn babes yesterday!

still indelibly scored within
windmills of my mind
this July 22nd, 2020.

Imagine yours truly post pubescence
(no matter ye never met me)
all that life in front of me
argh... precious time squandered
abustle with rattle and hum of compulsions
slavishly buzzfeeding pet peeves.

Anorexia nervosa ranked
as thee moost detrimental
upon cusp of prepubescence
I metaphorically teetered
and tottered on the brink
of deep Russian Siberian exile.

While awaiting piano lesson
(circa early 1970's)
collapsed unto the floor
Barbara McCall, née Youngblood
helplessly watched her student (me)
he flailed, garbled, hobbled...
succumbed into heart of darkness
softly wailing "I cannot live anymore"
or some such grievous plaintive utterance.

Long befuddled and dazed journey into night
began to hound my doggone noggin
while in the throes of puberty
voices dictated me to forego
first one meal, two, then all hunger pangs
eventually stymied, squelched, and silenced.

Dumbfounded family members
(father, mother, and deux sisters)
baffled, and thought
precious progeny and brother respectively
possibly involved with drugs
(an easier fix in retrospect),
versus shattered psyche (mine)
analogous to Humpty Dumpty mishap
only far more serious.

Even curious peers queried me
during lunchtime understandably asking,
whether non intake of food
nsync and/or linkedin
with particular religion,
which inquisitiveness answered
with shrug of shoulders,
cuz reason without rhyme
i.e. existential crisis
impossible mission to communicate
at that moment, whereby
all ears and eyes turned toward me
I wanted to crawl into
a black hole and disappear.

I felt absolutely zero joie de vivre
(no surprise stating the obvious)
essentially loathed being alive
when fellow students grilled me
(unspoken tongue in cheek retort
cheeses crust inaudibly uttered).

A short while prior
before anorexia nervosa got free rein
to ride amuck
analogous to red
(angry) bulls running roughshod
think utmost helter skelter
my mother acquired degree
as licensed practical nurse
courtesy local vocational trade school.

She crafted nutritious concoctions
yet interestingly enough
did not watch me like a hawk
rather left her sole skinny son
with task to consume sizable quantity
without dereliction to pour
said healthy drink down toilet.

I quickly established a ritual sipping elixir
whereby yours truly filled
little plastic measuring cup
then painstakingly nursed
said tumbler size capful

down to the last drop,
which inexorably time consuming process
found hardly any spare hours
for any other (necessary
or otherwise) function.

Eventually solid food intake
integrated with pureed secret ingredients,
yet even the painful prospect receiving
iron inoculations into bony buttucks
(punitive punishment gladly accepted)
without curbing appetite for self destruction,

which as an aside mother dearest
never disclosed constituent parts
comprising blended conglomerate
when, some few decades later,
she went to her grave.

Impossible mission to avoid senescence
nevertheless, yours truly sought
to hold back hands of time
aging petrified me, and imposed
(Uriah) heap of great expectations
and unwanted responsibilities.

In short, I did not want to grow up
forced to don mantle of adulthood
instead hankered and hungered
for fictionally nostalgic boyhood
whereby every day
exemplified hunky dory nirvana.

Scapegoat my middle name
bullies identify perfect bullseye
analogous to trumpeting antagonists
me as carnival barker calls out:
step right up draw an arrow from quiver
take aim at mine plainly affixed target.

Deplorable basket case loathed adult role
idealized mythical boyhood
refrained eating courtesy anorexia nervosa
deprived growing body sustenance
scores of Earth orbitz round sun since puberty
vehemently decry growth process sabotaged
self stigmatized stunt(ed) man
I stand on tippy toes, a pygmy among giants.

Sadness ofttimes eclipses
hijacked and jackknifed joy
aware emotional faculty
thru conscious facilitated meditation
can jar infinitesimally
long log jammed **** friggin
invisible obstruction along battle creek.

Linkedin with recovery coach,
I experienced (today July 20th, 2020)
around high noon cathartic enlightenment,
which revelation heightened awareness
how when just a lil lad yours truly
exhibited socially withdrawn demeanor
mollycoddled by overprotective parents
placed no demands upon their

sole contemplative introspective,
and ruminative non prodigal son,
yet upon edging into adulthood
self same idiosyncratic person (i.e. me)
faulted for supposed antipathy
(lack of genuine interest)
toward other family members.

Absent marginal positive self image
infinitesimal if ever present
within grown docile scaredy cat,
his informal assignment
accepted with little objection
constituted the following:

Daily repeated (ideally more than once)
self affirmations jotted down
(courtesy brainchild
of yours truly, yet prompted
by unnamed magnificent therapist
employed by creative health services)
strongly suggested technique
to seed empowerment fostering joie de vivre.

The waning days of
mein kampf and hard times
flicker with cautious optimism to wax poetic
versus anecdotal personal gloom frequently cited
spring from raw bits whereby yours truly
thee focus of disproportionate
maternal and paternal affections

(an immediately recalled factotum)
unwittingly created sibling envy
dur my formative years
never known to yours truly then
only counted decades
ex post facto courtesy mother
some months prior to her death.

primary idiopathic palmar/
palmoplantar hyperhidrosis

Aforementioned physiological malady
unwanted and unwonted figurative
(metaphorical) beast of burden
linkedin with matrix constituting mine
corporeal essence genetically
gifted to yours truly,
invariably, objectionably, and unquestionably
afflicts, impacts, and upsets
emotional (mental) health
diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder.

Tis no fun unable
to join in any reindeer games
(actually quite aggravating)
to experience chronic instances,
whereby profuse sweat drips
(think rivaling Angel Falls),
the loftiest falls on land
inducing extreme self
consciousness and embarrassment.

Socialization compromised,
jeopardized, and sabotaged
against natural proclivity to fraternize,
thus avoidance behavior
(i.e. social distancing) rigorously practiced
way before coronavirus (COVID-19)

mandated staying at least 6 feet
(about 2 arms' length) from other people.
I vaguely recollect even while in utero
sweaty hands cooled courtesy amniotic fluid
yet subsequently observing consternation
obstetrician displayed as

itty bitty teensy weensy fingers
dripped - think faucet turned on full force.
Mein kampf (predominantly
describes solitary existence)
severely exacerbated (still prominent)

ability to function undermined
courtesy deux part and parcel
significant aforestated physiological
and social congenital afflictions
somewhat ameliorated by
about half dozen prescription medications.

I keep hermetically sealed
within our single bedroom apartment
(we lucked out with unit B44
providing us scenic view)
climate controlled at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
(you do the math to figure
the Centigrade temperature),
nevertheless these five fingered appendages
ooze perspiration on par
with spigots gushing sweat.

Worse fate than death finds me
suffering one or more
dogged following plagues:
water turning to blood, frogs, lice,
flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail,
locusts, darkness and killing
of firstborn children far less oppressive
versus being stricken with Hyperhidrosis.

Sain above identified unpleasant fallout
understandably, quintessentially, and inextricably
linkedin within every fiber
moost likely activated since conception - mine
body electric infiltrated nerve wracking
complex corporeal edifice
interestingly enough solely overbearing
while yours truly wide awake
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
yet sleep ofttimes brings

severely dislocating, disquieting
and discombobulating
subconscious nocturnal experiences,
which frightful, maniacal, and
phantasmagorical vivid dreams
undermines, oppresses, and impinges,
any joie de vivre
creating abominable hell on Earth
thus this dirt poor commoner
pronouncing his intent

to beg, borrow and/or steal
(sell my soul to the devil)
in a desperate effort to secure
and pay King's ransom
to rid myself once and for all
of parasite entrenched nemesis
bleeding dry, leeching, and yoking
writer christened Matthew Scott Harris,
whereby he doth regularly writhe in agony.

(alternately titled: Typical daily mindset today –
July 17th, 2020)

The following words
mostly unredacted, nevertheless finessed
for curbed poetic/prosaic appeal
lock, stock and barrel
codify, and edify (hoopfully not mortify)
any reader unbeknownst and/or familiar
with unsteady state of yours truly,
(an ordinary garden variety generic guy)

who ofttimes expresses suicidal ideations
merely freed pent up
watery melancholic thoughts
(pitted within his psyche)
to experience vicariously personal impact
how such Earth shattering words of finality
might affect (or not) an anonymous reader.

Additionally I gave literary weight
to morbid topic confounding
moost every sentient and sensate human being
unable to escape her/his ultimate demise
eventually laid claim
by grim reaper
who unfailingly claims corporeal essence

which accepted fate
impossible mission to envision,
yet as chronological orbitz figuratively accrued
heightened awareness proportionately pronounced
(at least within mine cerebral cortex)
thus teasing out mortality
to comprehend (even minimally)
such mind boggling concept.

No immediate recourse sought
to compromise, exorcise, jeopardize, et cetera
the mailer daemons powerfully fraternizing
gamesomely cavorting, ripsnorting,
and yes terrorizing
sinusoidal undulations whatsapp

pining within mine approximately
deux clenched fist sized brain
temporary organic matter
lodged within the noggin
of one contemplative, intuitive,
and ruminative **** sapien.

Mine skeptical papa helped beget me,
a stranger in a strange land,
I experience difficulty breathing
despite pitch perfect cloudless ether
analogously steeped in foreign air,
as surviving foreigner,
one doubting Thomas
(English muffin) niggling heir.

Nostalgic reminiscences venerated zealously
violently pound every square inch,
where thinking transpires
within convolutions characterizing fifty shades
of gray matter lodged
clapping hands upon ears
renders a feeble attempt
to block deafening mind chatter.

I precariously perch
(albeit metaphorically)
perch upon precipice
staring into infinite abyss
hesitant to bid thee world
of the livingsocial adieu
trembling, kickstarting, fumfering...
apprehensive, tentative, wary

regarding permanent solution
to temporary emotional ill
afore taking leave,
where family bids me good riddance
bon voyage into netherlands
long sought realm of hereafter
abounding with peacefulness
of body, mind, and spirit.

Linkedin with hypothetical
undertaking that envisions me dead
preceding lines fell shy describing scenario
analogous to internal civil war playing out
inside formerly nasal twanging talking head,
(above attributed to submucous cleft palate)
yours truly characterized asthma worst enemy led
imagine pacifist sent into battle without mercy

futile effort foregone conclusion,
hence pointlessness witnessing
prayer for salvation, which I ne'er pled
akin to Isaac Bashevis Singer Gimpel the fool
and/or kamikaze pilot
one and/or another rushed in
where angels feared to tread.

More'n devilish tomfoolery,
I disclosed wretched mental state
no, not necessarily continuous
unbridled intense self destruction within me pate
more so chronic **-hum ambivalent attitude
quite upsetting thee missus, i.e. me mate

more often than not
no surprise predominant moody blue
exhibited courtesy yours truly,
twould be antonym of jubilate
tis the exception when I feel
(likened to Tony the tiger) grrrrrreat!

Circa ~ late spring/ early summer 1978
twas at behest of Harriet Harris,
thus due credit mother dearest
(she long since passed away)
who tried, to bribe, coax, exhort...
(protracted effort not all in vain),
cuz her second of three progeny,

and sole son i.e. (me) to
commingle, frolic, immerse myself
quintessentially ushering yawping zeal,
cuz general disposition courtesy yours truly
heavily trended toward solitude,
limiting interpersonal opportunities

minus those crafted,
viz overactive imagination (mine).
I took immediate affinity
(think how quick ducks adapt to water)
to milieu of contra dancing
and soon became popular with the gals,

surprising myself how enjoyable
untrammeled pinteresting linkedin hoopla
delivered je ne sais quois joie de vivre
(the most fun one could experience
without taking off their clothes),
me no exhibitionist by a far cry!

How fitting and proper
to state we (thyself
and spouse) met (for reel)
at Thursday night contra dance
Summit Presbyterian Church

6757 Greene Street,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19119
(initially held at Church
of Saint Martin-in-the-Fields,
Saint Martins Lane, Chestnut Hill,
Philadelphia, PA 19118

scads of years past
(actually more'n deuce
score of decades ago),
whereby the missus claims,
she espied (yours truly
then as) young lad

(bookworm type fella)
with boyish good looks
and golden locks
emblematic of Samson,
who would be envious (ha).

At four foot eleven
the petite prospective missus
(plus her waist length brunette tresses)
ball of fire stood out amidst
madding crowd drew attention (mine),
yet she vociferously, vigorously,
and vehemently still claims
initial awkward overtures
ascribed to Zison assertiveness.

Yours truly, he blatantly
admits pranced as novitiate
devoid of interpersonal finesse
and polish to whit,
a mere neophyte in a nutshell
hankering to sow wild oats that's zit.

Whereby our marriage got off to
(how shoal I say) rocky start
gallivanting with thee lass,
who would eventually
take me (grudgingly - ha)
as her respective lifelong sweetheart.

Unbeknownst to yours truly,
pent up unleashed testosterone
experienced disquieting alarm
adequately adept equipped with strong arm,
I tapped into secrete Lucky charm,

(albeit surreal environment
cavorting amidst madding crowd)
helped cultivate feral latent impotent
animal husbandry to farm
long fallow fresh unadulterated field

jabbering innocent blather,
brazenness embarrassingly proliferated,
but provocative behavior
smote ego (mine)
not with irrecoverable harm,

analogous to angry bees didst
adequately buzzfeeding naiveté
beehive ving like metaphorical swarm
(smartly stinging me) think freshly cooked
cockles and muscles clammy and warm.

I eventually acquired figurative ropes
regarding dating game
basic primal version
(at that time apps unnecessary)
nevertheless, call of the wild
thee woke former slumbering

beastie boy needed receptive body to tame,
he thus availed himself as lame
crash test dummy
feebly acquired social skills
bungled how to romance a capricious dame
readied himself to aim.

Aye celebrate mine life partner
with balance and swing
proffering courtesy turn
exhibiting gratitude occasionally
while with linkedin elbows
we turn a circle
punctuating spontaneity with do-si-do.

Just now, nine days shy of twenty third orbit
delineating, demarcating, denoting, supposed
whereby justice of the peace
Judge Henry Schireson,
(who still maintains an office
925 Montgomery Avenue, Suite 100

Narberth, Pennsylvania 19072-1913)
accommodated us as we became newlyweds
pledging our troth that hot July twenty fifth,
I try to recollect any vestige
constituting distinguishing,
under_scoring outstanding details
sifting thru hazy memories of past.

Once upon a time, this obstinate beastie boy
(i.e. yours truly, or none other than me)
fought tooth and nail,
(hence the reason I wear dentures)
against maturation, and sought
self starvation as modus operandi.

Adept at balking,
plus delaying, stunting and thwarting
transitioning toward adulthood
(mine spindle shank legs
to show and tell as proof positive),
yours truly fell short

(and stymied physical growth
regarding lame rascal
with size nine little feet to boot)
never to attain requisite
emotional, financial,
and spiritual independence.

When mysterious processes
courtesy puberty foisted
one garden state variety
(think generic) **** sapiens
transformed puny young slip of a lad

into adolescent long haired
pencil necked geek,
the genetic blueprint
already sabotaged prospect
for musculoskeletal framework
to attain maximum potential.

As an extremely shy,
(nay socially withdrawn prepubescent person)
strong aversion awoke toward segueing
from docile average non prodigal son
into grownup with
attendant responsibilities thereof.

Fast forward decades later
namely July fourteenth two thousand twenty,
when self condemnation
laments forsaking positive growth processes
(ordinary run of the mill ****** changes)
indeed nsync with linkedin social development.

Matthew Scott Harris deprived himself
relishing, savoring, and tasting
chromosomal biologic metamorphosis
including wreaking havoc, nixing, and
foregoing heterosexual interpersonal experiences,
thus sparking woeful regret

disallowing, disenabling, and not providing
natural encoded healthy growth
of body, mind, and spirit triage
regarding fluke of universe i.e. me
(since origin of aforementioned species)
took center stage tentatively
bivouacking upon globe.

Much ado about nothing
can be done measure for measure
missing out out love's labour's lost
nevertheless, all's well
doth (did) not end well
concerning (by dickens)
my life and hard times,
which cannot square miserable
with great expectations never attained

courtesy wretched soul,
scratching our feeble existence,
who gives the antagonist and/or protagonist
constituting Les Misérables,
a run (for his) la monnaie,
eeking out hand to mouth subsistence
never livingsocial, nor buzzfeeding
avast set of basic hormonal needs and wants

and/ or acquiring, succoring,
and treasuring pittance
akin to dime a dozen
day late and dollar short paupers,
(whose mere pennies on the dollar earnings,
albeit insufficiently funded legal tender)
while accruing mere stale crumbs
comprising daily bread -

our humble father
who art thou in heaven...
bejesus crust...**** near
impossible mission to guarantee
adequate sense and sensibility
pertaining to mine remaining
complete or partial celestial orbitz
without pride nor prejudice
upending, jeopardizing, or compromising
my fragile ego contemplating Cogito, ergo sum.

Finally after twenty two plus
years of marriage,
a husband (namely yours truly -
hitherto known as Matthew Scott Harris)
exhibits glint of care and concern
toward his significant other,
which wife bemoaned
absent expressions of love
particularly before the
honeymoon even occurred.

I readily admit shying away
from emotional intimacy,
especially toward the gal
whose pledge I trothed
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six,
yet even formative years (mine)
scant overtures displayed toward
me father, mother, plus
older and younger sister
(neither non twisted).

A strong suspicion predominates
neurological, psychological,
and social perturbations
commingled while said christened goodfella
developed in utero, whereat genetic quarks
sparked, manifested, and engendered
unforeseen grievous hardship

severely, inexplicably, and figuratively
dislocated, truncated, and uprooted
his promising, (albeit
short lived) blissful boyhood,
which happy go lucky preschool years
abruptly analogously came to crashing halt
soon after setting foot into first grade.

Impossible mission
to tease out telltale explanation(s)
only thru courtesy 20/20 hindsight
can hypothesis be formulated
regarding congenital
chromosomal cellular discrepancy
birthing what appeared a healthy baby
though prone to wailing
without rhyme nor reason,
especially if held
by any person except mother.

At a tender age behavioral blitzkrieg
rent asunder tenuous connections
shattering nascent aggregation
to allow, enable, and provide
healthy interpersonal development
unbeknownst what molecular processes
kickstarted, pronounced, triggered...
wayward son to recoil against humanity
(think how like magnetic poles
repel each other).

Most all mein kampf
scant communication brokered
never establishing linkedin bonds,
nor fostering emotional intimacy
despite witnessing overt caring
among parents who begat me
or siblings, who exuded
natural propensity to comfort each other.

Something so primal as to elicit
heartfelt sympathy I lacked
which aloofness generated offensiveness
essentially buttressed (with flying colors)
hermetically sealed existence (mine)
nsync livingsocial within alien nation.

Though flush with good humor
pun one mock two yields negligible
true cash equivalent value won
dirt poor offspring privileged as prodigal son
pockets bursting with legal tender,
where just yesterday I had none.

All polite declinations
strung together would circle...
(fill in the blank)
matter of fact, I just got a slew of them
today June 9th, 2020, what a lucky man
me haint an idealist...,

but winning poetry (writing) contest
or purchasing lottery tickets...
yeah, nothing butta pipe dream
such improbable whimsical notion
linkedin and tantamount
with milkmaid and pail

Aesop pose fabulous incredulous solution
finally good riddance
hand to mouth existence
hello riches, perchance a dollop
and/or sizable windfall courtesy
drawn PowerBall and/or Mega Million ticket

whereby yours truly suddenly
cursed with chump change,
and/or abundant money
would experience "fifteen minutes of fame"
flush with friends and relatives
I (a misanthrope) never knew existed
(perhaps even marriage proposition,

no matter wedded bliss prevails)
interesting... how moderate
and/or substantial wealth
suddenly finds chock a block
acquisitions (regarding brand new automobile,
custom designed house,

travel opportunities galore
(maybe even vacation to Mars)
(despite coronavirus - COVID -19) prevalence,
nevertheless awareness viz immutability altering
pubescent stunted emotional, physical
and social development

profusely sweating hands, social anxiety
all the while knowing money
can't buy happiness,
yet once and for all at long last
free and clear of grinding poverty
cuz groveling along

the pockmarked highway
avails countless exit ramps
plethora of choices
how to be analogous to jolly Roger
piloting immense ship of state
(approximating size of Rhode Island)

equipped with the latest trappings
matter of fact replete
with every creature comfort
analogous to rich
self sufficient independent country
allowing, enabling, and providing
a warm welcome - think unfurled
Harris tweed Scottish welcome mat.

Meanwhile somewhere in Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania resident
(within apartment B44)...
tenant fritters precious time wishfully thinking
(luxuriant life within theoretical leisure class)
finding this nameless scrivener
invariably hoisting himself by his own petard.

and found (me) zee papa pooped out

**** eyes zing thee
nightly dump for yesterday
July 8th, 2020 - whereby
plunger helped obstruction give way
I nearly lost me life and limb oy vey

oh my dog, the same asinine outcome
which spurred poet to get underway
matter of fact, a replay
of excretion almost occurred today
and thus an attempt to describe

a tragicomic scenario
regarding bowel movement size of subway
overflowing ***** nearly
found yours truly quay
king, yet impossible mission

arises to portray
unsightly situation, the
juvenile elements of style
I hate to overplay
odoriferous subject matter

nsync with constipation
since laxative delineates,
expedites, facilitates,... née
posits heavy load emanating out ******
quite amazing what smelly waste
exits out me

necessitating captain my captain
to signal mayday
posterior end, a dime size orifice,
which malfunctioning sphincter muscles
one moost never be lackaday

'though kids and adults
laughed back in the day,
if and/or when Danny Kaye
tactfully poked fun
at such critical ****** phenomenon

equally important as a jackstay
to keep afloat body electric
'curse with auxiliary
linkedin kickstarting jazzmatazz interplay
analogously precise as

Swiss made timepiece
said system responsible
to expel ****** toxins
upon which sitting on porcelain throne
one can softly utter hooray

thankful to experience relative pleasure
until one becomes feeble minded,
whereat fifty plus shades of gray
matter allows, enables, and
provides enjoyably foray

into the bathroom, which entranceway
hoop fully not barred nor off limits
cuz that primitive urge one best not delay
lest one requires lower
gastrointestinal intervention

especially if blocked up
***** matter turns to clay
unless of course one doth
cause damage and betray
respect toward well
oiled human machine

exercising and eating healthy
avoiding backside skeleton musculature issues
yes... I reckon during twilight years
control over bowels doth slip away.

courtesy hurling mandarin oranges.

Yes quite juvenile
unladylike childlike behaviour,
mine wife oft times doth display,
I do not deplore

yours truly reckons
tis futile effort causing furore
aye attest bull
in china shop incorrigible *******
exhibited by spouse

out of bounds antics bon jour
earlier within marriage
shenanigans twas the stuff
back in the day
sparking altercations, haint no lore

regarding wedded bliss
muddle aged doozy storied
married couple expressing
mutual love nevermore

did deux disparate
birds of a feather flock together
espousing total mortal kombat
(with looming fruity weapon
of mass destruction

living below poverty dirt poor
surviving (barely) hand to mouth
unable to afford
top of line high grade

clean atomic bombs rapport
re: ruining our reputation
as hoity toity main liners
portraying child's play
conflicts in East/West Timor

almost annihilating each other
i.e. zee Harris family
plus well nigh turning
planet Earth into vapour.

Sober realization of brinksmanship
brought now auld
geezers (defanged & harmless)
flinging foodstuffs cold

and/or frozen leftovers
(carbon dated), petrified extolled
as delicacy among Neanderthals,
who would value and

cherish fruit lobbed as
love's labour's lost more precious
(as a physical expression of affection)
more so than fine spun gold
thee rented man cave serves

atavistic trait hard rock cafe
functions as pleasant reminder,
where one percent genetic
stock originated (think noggin
rock hard iron maiden mold).

Backtrack to years spanning 2000-2010
wen furious red hot poker rage
twas unmanageable when living
under duress within Penn Valley

even tranquilizers could not assuage
harkening back when yours truly
under threat courtesy battle ax
and her henchwomen,

which matriarch took immediate dislike,
née rabid (foaming
at the mouth loathing)
towards yours truly

them days outright state
of undeclared warfare
found fury within me
exceeding the wrath of Kong!

Thank dog, I mellowed since then
gratuity prescription medication.

flailing, lurching, and writhing in throes of agony

Trumpets blare acknowledging
crack hunters lucky strike,
i.e. bullseye salvo shot at
innocuous yet brutish
and nasty looking **** sapien
courtesy elite militia incapacitates,
(yet doth not ****) mortal enemy.

Tis a moost dangerous threatening president
(assailed all points of the compass)
able, eager, ready and willing to loose
anarchy, chaos, entropy...
sabotaging, sacrificing, saddling
every precious life (yet those unborn)
within ethos, diktat, and credo of brinkmanship.

His indefatigable stonewalling campaigning stage
lumbers with increased rage
taking out apprentice playbook, a page
titled how to win at all costs -
even Pyrrhic victory
(bang... bang... bang near fatal reportage).

Part and parcel of Democratic brigade
I aspire lobbing metaphorical brickbat enfilade
to stoke public disgust at
United States incumbent president
more incompetent than student in fifth grade
(apology extended for any unintended insult
exhibited by whip smart kids
genetically custom tailor made).

Though madly thrashing
across his barren domain
all manner of expedient strategy
to defeat him, I will try to explain
for no citizen of voting age
ought not remain complacent
one humble human (me)
smugness doth not feign

cuz, day of reckoning
spelling boom or bust,
Joe Biden moost gain
as commander in chief lest...
the following blather
I readily admit might seem
pointless, futile and inane
yet fools rush in,
where angels fear to tread,

while America crumbles to ruins,
a fate moost loath to witness
if apathy prevails nary any trace left,
where glory throve and inevitably
strews once fruitful plain
inviting twenty first century Vandals
to usurp millennial reign
thus on two hundred and forty fourth
anniversary when original thirteen colonies

set figurative sights to track and train
democratic experiment, within which history
(yours truly, a generic hypocrite)
admits instances where
tentative existence graphs
sinusoidal curve, which plotted path
waxed with promise, boot now
prospect for continuity doth wane.

Shameless to allow lofty ideal
regarding hard won enfranchisement amendment
gifted upon all citizens, yet inalienable right
still far reality exercised
(née thwarted every step of the way
towards those whose very flesh bled)

with justice once and for all
for many across land
from sea to shining sea
(line excerpted from America the Beautiful
accredited to Katharine Lee Bates)
penned during 1893 trip
to Colorado Springs, Colorado.

googling inept kickstarted lame outré jaunty hokum

(alternately titled:
Random screenshot within me noggin
instantaneously transforming,
née devolving into gobbledygook.)

I got born with poker faced physiognomy,
no matter yours truly doth not play cards
though self same person impractical joker
shuffles thru life without (think silent owl)
gives no hoot, though reckons Halloween
mask permanently affixed bonafide tragic/
comic features ofttimes resignation chiefly

communicated, one luckless boyish looking
goodfella, (a veritable greybeard, albeit or
kissed striated uber wordsmith yawping zee
lot misanthrope) chronologically edging two
ward the edge of night concerning mortality,
meanwhile fudging primitive protoplasmic
prurient predilection emblematic of proud
primate, i.e. **** sapiens 1% Neanderthal.

At birth, yours truly a tangle of arms & legs
scrawny bundle of lovely bones linkedin as
hypothetical extinct creature halfway in
evolutionary line between modern human
beings and their anthropoid progenitors, an
atavistic penchant to scurry along on all his

four indistinguishable limbs rooting around
for grubs using quasi snout (visualize) multi
sensory proboscis (adorned with coiled cilia)
evolved for touching, tasting, snorting, and
(sniffing out) smelling faintest molecular jot.

Mutations begat courtesy
in vitro fertilization gone awry
amateur Doctor Frankenstein wannabe
horror, he did decry
innocuous experiment genetically
designing generic guy
wrested out bubbling test tube,

manifested nsync with no lie
feted date regarding celebrated
jumping frog of Calaveras
County - chosen birthday
one primate roaming July 2nd, 2020
approximately CCXLIV orbitz
after initial 1776 fourth of July

ushering, igniting, exploding
contentious, prodigious, riotous
racial quandary paramount
issue conscientious Earthlings contend
obliged regarding minecrafted
dissension front and center
across spectrum of humanity

necessary burning issue ****
sapiens unavoidable progressive
equality mandate to occupy
even attention of Holden Caulfield
made household name
courtesy J(erome) D(avid)
Salinger's Catcher in the rye.

No matter yours truly peculiar
looking packaged, oddly
pickled, and puckered, thus
token scapegoat (no kidding),
this ole buck (bully me)

shunned, ostracized, penalized...,
(when just good little boy,
nor baad *** man) never privy
to good luck, cuz I always feel
(felt) excluded, intimidated,

and marginalized (yes in part
resembling a being from an
alien nation (and/or
outer limits thereof)

preferring the twilight zone,
especially when dark shadows
crawl along edge of night,
where nocturnal ghastly
emanations issue forth.

Mine easily becoming hypnotized
allows, enables, and provides
ingress for spectral constituent
shape shifting material
courtesy Matthew Scott Harris,
which disembodied ethereal flotsam
phantasmagorical spirited phenomenon
coalesces around me

gently cocooning, engulfing,
and fabricating yours truly,
whereby I become
transmogrified into an unfurled
magic Harris Tweed Scottish
welcome mat flying
to and fro, hither and yon.

(summarily iterated June 30th, 2020)

I share the following lines
with utmost delight
courtesy 20/20 hindsight
June twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty

corrigible, fallible,
and intelligible light
hearted fella (aging
baby boomer) usually polite
doth not trend toward
superficial nor trite.

Ostrich with wordplay
(mine metaphorical putty) enjoys
shape shifting rules
of English language
never knowing literary
endeavor (mine) outcome
unpredictable as wind
doth form sand dune
farfetch'd physique

peculiarly genetically hewn
no avian expert, yet
sports wide whirled
webbed analogous to loon
yours truly at heart,
an honest to dog poltroon
acquired pipes, whereat
ofttimes I sing out of tune.

No idea when predilection arose
to toy with said mother tongue
frequently buzzfeeding me passion
I rend toward proclivity
maketh anonymous reader to doze
gibberish spews gobbledygook
gushing out imaginary hose
frequently diverging off course

pertaining to poem title
which (reading between
the roaring lines) here
sought to delineate highs and lows
regarding squandered (particularly
linkedin with female)
friendship opportunities aye sip pose
jangling this beau zoe
from head to his toes.

I don't mean to engender pity
excruciatingly socially withdrawn
garnered alienation since birth
regarding human bonds, which dearth
all thru these three score years

athwart planet (unfit) ness Earth
pregnant around equatorial girth
found yours truly figuratively
tied to mother's apron string
I always felt safe and secure,

within home and hearth
even when Scottish welcome matt
yanked away by those who begot me,
now in retrospect ability
to muster mirth

within savage dime
a dozen verbal lashings
(courtesy mama and papa,
deceased and declining nonagenarian respectfully
ironically distills their overlooked worth.

Shying eye contact, I vaguely recollect
Matthew Scott Harris
as wee lad did disappoint
way back during second grade lunch
at Eagleville Elementary School,
a pretty girl christened Renee
(if memory serves me correctly)
induced writhing and foaming

incoherent sounds of silence
indubitably witnessed yours truly
an extremely shy boy
hiding behind makeshift barrier
(possibly tartan patterned lunchbox)
to avoid at all costs
painful penetrating piercing
inducing me to look askance.

As an extremely shy kid
(lacking benefit of powdermilk biscuits)
even briefest eye contact with lovely lass
sent extreme agitation
coursing thru measly frame
wreaking emotional/psychological distress

(visit repeated aforementioned
refrain ad nauseum)
recurring without letup
boyhood to young adulthood,
when within close proximity
attractive gal froze mine functionality
even with intent to exchange passing "hello."

Fast forward to recent past
i.e. namely second half of bleak existence
angst oozed and profusely did bleed,
when ability to bolster daring deed
communicating amorousness awkwardly freed
potential foolishness or embarrassment,
I shushed inner voice of amplified reason,
side stepping preservation,

aye did not heed
boot blurted out juvenile
barenaked lady desires indeed
spelling repugnance and
instant ruination against fulfilling
hormonal secretion need
wanting to escape utter fool hardiness
beating retreat (tail between legs)
ruffly with hasty dog speed!

Just me and mine shadow doth blog
passivity, the path of least resistance oh my dog,
an emphatic YES,
a legitimately valid reason and rhyme to flog
yours truly (figurative emasculation),
thee catchword to hog
immediate attention,
see above named poem title

the best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative juices to jog
all mein kampf, I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
to identify me as a nog
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly
one sniveling poor excuse for masculinity,
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable) humility,
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott sought adultery,

which unwise choice attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void
****** propensity linkedin with precepts
attributed to Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirts

barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed or Oedipus complex
shrugged off (heavier imposition
versus Atlas) fails to bridge any mettle alloyed
within me psyche.

Absent healthy teenage
dating experiences, think tryst
I yearned, trended then
regretted handy dandy wrist
took rat tick antics subsequently,
and compromised spawning prurient dalliances,
hence understandably missed
(until death do me part)

doting upon then young daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one
(born 12/22/1996) still ******
at primal, gonadal, and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist
matter of fact I dreamt
(earlier today June twenty seventh
two thousand and twenty), the gist
regarding harming self

courtesy sharp pointed objects
(that string of words
doth hoop fully connive fist
(cuffed) around handles of knife

discounting divorce (from wife)
i.e. remaining uncoupled
mandated eventually note hissed
unbridled love and apology

toward thee missus and progeny
who forever did blacklist
das scribe, how objectionable
now, he profusely kissed
mouth of other voluptuous

(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly enough spouse did insist
to forgive, boot never forget.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
thus very little paternal (filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California her temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa blatantly confessed
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl")
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risque behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
men disregarded and hardened libido
against marital covenant.

Before golden opportunity
(goes no argh hue mint
the way of Long John Silver)
doth fade and dwindle
not necessarily cuz the missus
did (NOT) bribe and swindle
an ambition (for nor rhyme nor reason)
arose to kindle...

Affectionate communication
employing (figurative) gambol
probably testing your patience
to decrypt me trademark ramble
essential crux of matter after
ye prune thorny verbiage,
metaphorical berry good bramble.

Methinks yar psyche slid into funk
cuz usual upbeat gregarious disposition
of late (June 26th, 2020)
analogous to reclusive monk
whose nonverbal body language

shrieks "LEAVE ME THE ƒµ©* ALONE"
lest recipient (in this case yours truly)
receives judicious suckerpunch
finding him landing - ouch
on his buttucks - kerplunk!

Nevertheless as one
mister misanthrope to another
who could pretend cavorting
as asinine make bull heave brother,
(or undergoing extreme makeover,
and stretching imagination voila
one garden variety generic beastie boy
rendered into... yup, your grandmother.

Hoop fully no unpleasant memory
doth suddenly unfold
linkedin to said very old
boot (moost likely)
long deceased family member
turned to dust commingled with auld

Lang syne amidst weathered tombstones,
markedly intact skeletons absent
any flesh o'the rear
some etched with hands folded in prayer
mausoleum enshrining even in death near
(think grim reaper kingly leer)

still provoking jeer
profligate (yet prolific) paperback writer heir
housing generations ghostly forebear
comprising your family tree, once... dear
father, mother, sister, brother, et cetera
who profusely guzzled beer.

No intent to induce fury if playful banter
loosed psychological trip wire
merely harmless ambition to deliver mirth
lobs strike out as decided
by just now summoned umpire
on the ball punning away without tire
greatly flattered if literary antics inspire
ye to pen memoirs,

which become New York Times
bestseller, thus countless clamoring demands
to serve as ghostwriter hire
prompt ye with fame and fortune
before thee doth exhale last breath and expire
when moments prior,
I while impersonating a squire
wished ye a cheery bon voyage.

Spanned into infinite vista
far as these myopic eyes can see
now yellowing Whitmanesque
leaves of grass encompass field of vision.

Nary a dark dreadnaught cloud in sight,
nor unbeknownst if/when threatening storm
looms on horizon slaking parched land
delivering precipitation quenching thirsty terra firma.

I too experience vicarious dehydration
during bonafide dry spell
constituting theoretical string
hoop fully curtails weather beaten
flora and fauna

conceding blindingly bright
cloudless summer days
across disc (sky)
to amply liquidate shriveling assets.

Unbeknownst when spate of rainlessness,
(i.e. I pray for moderate soaking precipitation)
thwarting immediate indications
meteorologically signalling onset
regarding definition of drought.

Nothing more humbling
than cacophonous thunderstorm
nsync with jagged bolts of lightning
accompanying drenching downpour
analogous to downed wall of water
cascading from upper atmosphere
intermittently pelting landscape

albeit immediately, magically, quixotically...
transforming parched land (Highland Manor)
into profuse lusciousness
harkening Edenic denouement.

Impossible mission (this simple bumpkin)
(one local Schwenksville yokel)
(Civil War union soldier incarnate)
to forecast today/tonight
eventide of June twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty,

when Zeus will doctor
animals and plants courtesy
of requisite life source
also known as H2O,
comprising above mentioned
two hydrogen atoms
and one oxygen atom.

Ironic, how approximately
three quarters (seventy five sense)
engulfs planet Earth,
yet many environments
suffer inadequate deluges,
more so now with climate change

(global warming) increasing temperature
across oblate spheroid
compromising habitable places,
yet methinks coronavirus (COVID-19)
gave mother nature
much needed reprieve

cleansing heavily polluted urban areas
courtesy partial lockdown and restraint,
whereby **** sapiens
deterred, jackknifed, prohibited...
spewing noxious forth fossil fuel byproducts
encouraging, mustering,

plying, telecommuting, zooming
avast array of activities
augmented by virtual reality
technology supplanting mass transit,
thus diminishing deadly toxins
absorbed by all creatures
great and small.

courtesy Matthew Scott Harris
sentimental memorialized mental archive

No matter mine eldest daughter
(born December 22nd, 1996)
starred circa within storied
Matthew Scott Harris family
rendition of Breaking Home Ties.

Now interspersed with
following recherché trivia:
originally titled film made
during 1922 courtesy Sigmund Lubin,
and among “Pop” Lubin’s
Silent Film Empire
produced over 3,000 silent movies
spanning the two decades
of his film career

commencing with 1896
short film Horse Eating Hay
concluding with 1916’s
The Light at Dusk,
the final Lubin Manufacturing Company release,
his studio’s repertoire
ranged from educational films,
dramas, and disaster movies
to mysteries, comedies, and epic war films.

She "star student,"
who elected advanced placement classes
while diligent student at Harriton High School
graduated summa *** laude circa June 2015,
and matriculated at University of Pennsylvania

autumn of aforementioned year occupying
coed dormitory King's Court
English College House,
located at 3465 Sansom Street,
incidentally the first college house
to host a residential program.

Like Hill House,
said facility a freshmen-only house and
includes a dining hall on ground floor.

Our beloved progeny,
an 2019 minted alumna
relatively freshly minted
bachelor degree fortified
biomedical engineering graduate

confident, exhibits fierce political
(i.e. progressive liberal democratic opinions)
harbors piers sing quay zee
wharf fore did conscientious papasan go?

His fatherly duties
(he ably, eagerly and readily admits)
shirked, squandered, subsumed...
with marital infidelities
whereby precious energy and time,
(compromising spouse and offspring)
constituted posting and answering

(ofttimes linkedin private risque conversations
so that no family member could eavesdrop)
barring excellent outlook to access
locked bedroom door prurient exchanges
within which ****** flirtations,
(i.e. oral *******) occurred.

Understandable resentment bubbled forth
regarding promiscuous, salacious, vexatious...
in apropos overtures, plus covert canoodling
insync with chronic penury,
neither parent earned an income,
thus condemning two girls

living with refrain
***** deeds done dirt poor
overshadowed by threat
that Children and Youth Services (CYS),
would swoop down and
****** away our darling lasses.

No reconciliation forthcoming
between "Atalanta," predicated
upon her passion to run free and clear
and yours truly, who repents
atrocious, devious, hellacious... muckraking
whereby daddy's once upon a time
adorable angel, who easily
wrapped around her little finger
brings tears to mine eyes.

Twas only thru gentle prodding
"big sister" convinced youngest
to hightail to Bend, Oregon
under drafted legal guardianship
of me mine younger sibling
willingly and lovingly accepted role.

quickly found the missus ready to faint

Like a madman possessed
by mailer daemon lemme acquaint
ye with the following verse, I will bepaint
momentary horror, where yours truly
entered momentary third eye blind rage

loosing violent constraint
nearly ****** knife
into right leg without restraint,
which curtailed prospective martyrdom,
thus scotching, nullifying, denying...
me anointed apostolic saint

plus stripping christened name,
one Matthew Scott,
cuz he threatened to harm himself
invariably with permanent
leg a see did taint

moment of spontaneity
instantaneously vanished without a trace
when irrational brandished
white as a ghostly corpse petrified wife,
who merely felt playfully frisky
I haint kitten,

yours truly reflexively reached
for paring, quartering,
halving deboning, cutting...
said kitchen utensil
nearly sabotaged marriage
finding zee spouse suddenly widowed

(never writing last will and testament,
nor in fact ever drafting first)
as husband almost pitched himself
into wuz bin realm
courtesy short nasty brute
mine generic doppelganger
harkening back to dem good ole days,
when regular altercations occurred

heralding grab regarding lovely bag of bones
birds of prey didst carrion and buzzfeed
scavenging any shred of wedded bliss
which auld lang syne times
well nigh witnessed fisticuff strife,

though these previous half dozen years
considerably less rife and riddled
with expletive strewn epithets
that cut sharper than a dull knife.

Momentary loss of reason
every now and again
finds me skull comfortably numb
just another brick in the wall
reckoning, we don't need no education
acquiring diploma courtesy
hard skool of knocks alumnus

attests he experienced
arduous, horrendous, opprobrious, and venomous
environment pinterest tingly linkedin
with congenital predisposition to anxiety/
panic attacks in toto
enroute visiting Wizard of Ozzy Osbourne.

tentatively took page from playbook of devout believers...

Allowing, enabling, and providing
cautious optimism to abound
thus easing grief instead
reason to rejoice found
once corpse cremated
or buried underground.

Whereby reincarnation will eventually...
mitigate grief otherwise...
mind numbing skull will experience
shell shock twill forever stun

unable to square circle
defying reality analogous to accept flying nun
(matter of fact) reunite each loved one,
thus resisting automatic reflex against secularism
just for fun.

Bidding thy nonagenarian
papa permanently farewell...
tis no rhyme nor reason
for me to cry inconsolably
versus ruminating diametrically
opposed outlook pray tell.

How bittersweet mortality doth taste
grievance especially unpalatable,
when existence of
Boyce Brandon Harris erased,
whereby fading memories
offer small consolation baste
within the noggin of his sole sun
twice orthodontically braced.

I still remember, when ye shlepped me
to Lancaster Cleft palate clinic
(mother came along for the ride;
plus she enjoyed stopping at Entenmann's
Exton, Pennsylvania location)
splurging for sweet tooth.

Doctor Mazaheri (small statured)
(a renown prosthodontist)
fitted yours truly for speech appliance
to rectify submucous cleft palate -
a bony defect in the midline
or center of the bony palate

imparted nasal twang
pronouncedly noticeably distinct
mutation genetically bequeathed
middle offspring born this way
offering yet another defect
whereupon token scapegoat
opportunistically targeted by bullies.

Twilight (zone) of your life
metaphorical draws curtain call
concomitantly ushering
remembrance of things past.

Recapitulation of most salient sunny events
fondly recalled mostly boyhood circumstances
many incorporating Lilliputian Matthew Scott Harris
forever jinxed (think hoisted by his own petard)
thus **** of jokes and laughingstock
among madding crowd.

Alas, methinks how robust, intimidating
and indomitable dad appeared
when yours truly a wee lad
undersized even now as an elder statesman (ha)
still the runt of rat pack

(though this measly once upon a time miserly
mousy man no pack rat)
matter of fact downsizes personal trappings
when I eventually make trek
across River Styx.

During interim (between now and then)
hope springs eternal
that suspended animation courtesy cryogenics
will halt biological aging (particularly mine)
preserving till end of time

freeze frame where mise en scène
retaining vestigial said countenance
portraying boyish looking good (older) fella
until peace on Earth
and good will to all men/women prevails.

I thaw (ought) how grand
to donate and/or repurpose body
as science fiction becomes reality,
where mise en scene art becomes life
cessation of senescence held in check
once defunct corporeal edifices

gentrified to instill longevity
twerking, seeding, pollinating...
**** sapiens fostering civilization
to take root across solar system and beyond
sphere where sunlight doth bathe bedlam.

with natural binaural and visual ambience...
courtesy bumblebee pollinating clover

Diaphanous wings yield live airplay
vibrations undulate thru ethereal airway
rippling glorious edifications allay
gorgeous fauna and floral array
ears and eyes beheld
awesome buzzfeeding display
flight of the bumblebee laden with pollen
analogous to elegant performance
starring Faye Dunaway.

Crossword puzzle momentarily
distracted by amazing fete
observing crucial insect necessary
transferring pollen to pistils of flowers
with each subsequent visit
impossible mission to differentiate
one amongst countless
gently rumbling Bombus.

June 14th, 2020 thoughts
of doomsday far and away
pitch perfect afternoon yippie yie yay
I could squander hours
observing miracle worker relay
unwittingly alighting then planting pollen,
i.e. the male gametophyte
(DNA) of seed plants
transported to female part of flower
to enable plant to reproduce.

Quintessential lesson relearned
live life foreplay
until... hair turns
more'n fifty shades of gray
pronouncedly more noticeable since salons
and barbershops under lockdown
onset of coronavirus
(COVID-19) spells hooray
satisfying grim reaper

until vaccine acquired
meanwhile (back at the ranch)
think laboratory smart people linkedin,
qua advocating preventive measures,
a fancy word for test
iz pseudo synonym immunoassay
whispered to yours truly courtesy
twittering and tweeting blue jay.

How uncomplicated existence
allotted to birds and bees
simple straight forward purpose
additionally as by-product
to cultivate cheese

just cut away any moldy part
lest thee exhibit symptoms
synonymous contracting poison
(less painful than scorpion sting),
nevertheless nsync with illness
expanding thru body

on par with generic
garden variety archetype disease
ah, I sure wish being human
constituted less cumbersome complication
instead comprised
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ease
as iterated with aforementioned

half dozen simple life forms
some of which can survive extreme temperatures
and/or even suffering thru a deep freeze
now upon reaching the end,
I expect nothing more emphatic
than ye to ******* Geez!

(and countless provender
scores of years gone by)...
to partake larding refrigerator cupboards
think respectable food vendor.

Courtesy Montgomery County
(Pennsylvania) Assistance Office in general
and Electronic Benefit Transfer
(EBT) card in particular.

Yes, I (a mere tenderloin) reckonize
a long overdue thank you
wouldrequiremorethanone breath whew
but a clear and
distinct preference necessitates
easy to read and understand view

versus merely typing gobbledygook,
which would invite
yours truly typing Urdu
(which language I know
absolutely nothing about... true)

but lack of familiarity
never stopped me stew
wing anonymous readers
with ire, now I rue
men hate, yepper after

forcing anonymous readers
to wade, née (nearly drown)
into thicket of quo
***** yen verbiage, invariable
coming across as po
i.e. half assed poet,

whose self impressive smugness
amounted to diddly squat,
thee immediate answer
obviously, an emphatic,
Italic, unchic... "NO"
quite surprised if

"PLEASE SIR, I WANT MO!"
your unequivocal response,
which counter reply "LO
AND BEHOLD" would
casually follow suit ya know,

cuz all kidding aside,
yours truly (me), an average Joe
King garden variety,
and generic bot ready
for thee to interview

me, ultimately, preferably,
and ideally hue
not linkedin to
those awful **** sapiens
though... as a baby going goo
goo gaga, they seem

exclusive as Fontainebleau
(Area: 66.43 mi²)
regarding comprehending et tu
probably agree, that babies
create an abundance of do do
unapproachable as motley crew

who stoically man/woman
aforementioned French town
southeast of Paris where
sun shines every day,
and sky always blue.

(Nsync with variations on a theme:
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades)
mostly I did merrily wet
whet madness aye ever did dream.)

The missus personal trappings
strewn helter skelter
every perilous step fraught
with danger analogous
riding as passenger
with death cab for cutie
'course thy quasi bohemian rhapsodic Queen
of denial feigns ignorance
attributes hazardous condition

linkedin with accident prone
little lord Fauntleroy's
double doppelganger, me
trumpeting pet husband,
her unrequited germane Liebchen
willing to risk life and limb
doting hand and foot
as proper husbandly duties.

He (ahem... me) exhibits drama
whimsically visiting slapstick pantomime
especially pretending to remove sneakers
pulling with all my feeble strength
off little feet of wife
half-heartedly struggling,

lamely denouncing marriage
nevertheless conveying jollity
regarding marital entrapment
er... rather unbridled wedded bliss
constituting fits and starts enduring
about two dozen years.

I reciprocated amorousness,
whether toward MaryAnne,
(his long ago coldly dismissed
sagacious enchanting first paramour,
(half a dozen years my senior),
whose astrological forecast
accurately predicted promising
acquaintanceship/relationship
potential soul mates
(two score years ago -
gone to naught),
which latter aforementioned humble lass

decried he fomented
incessant emotional grief,
he cruelly (albeit unwittingly)
doled out nothing
but lackluster lovelessness
attributed to identical zodiac signs (Capricorn)

(matter of fact shared same birth date
January 13th - six years age difference)
stubborn misconstrued perception,
whereby fancy free and footloose
selfish nasty short brute nevertheless
deemed himself undeserving of love - humph!

Addeneum: Approximately four decades
re: one quarter century after
aforementioned baptismal initiation
love stricken paroxysm
forty fifth president of United States
took (i.e. plagiarized) many pages courtesy,
cruel playbook authored
by Matthew Scott Harris,

who left trail of heartbroken sage woman
commander in chief deliberately stoked,
née sparked long
simmering smoldering, and stewing
long festering white supremacist altercation
fiendishly igniting racial conflagration
exploding during late spring 2020.

No matter no child left behind kibitzing
(yours truly as boy plucked petals
off daisy reciting "she loves me,"
"she loves me not"...
cupid loosed an arrow
into boyhood neighborhood sweetheart

she innocently bespoke
"I wanna marry you,"
when uttered courtesy Sherry Jones,
a little girl who lived
approximately three doors down
along cul-de-sac within Apple Valley
perpendicular to Lantern Lane,
or more age apropos,

when young gallivanting
purported vestal ****** ladies
nonverbally signalled
libidinal proclamations of emancipation,
as demurely expressed
lest unlucky (chaste into)
precocious ******* proclivity
suffered the punishment
of being buried alive.

Now back to present day,
when our old geezer,
the prototype garden variety
male of present poem -
any resemblance between general referenced
fella and living persons purely coincidental.

He (yours truly) easily qualified as
overly cocky whippersnapper,
i.e. young buck and/or Casanova wannabe
experienced bit torrent
hormonal secretions gushed
particularly in close proximity
wherein wafted pheromones -
think a waif faring ingénue.

As evident and quite obvious,
I fabricate (prevaricating
my signature trademark)
rather than stating bland reality stark,
yet will plainly explain issue
in summary essential rhyme
without reason constitutes
nothing more spectacular than
garden variety generic pockmark
excised pustule ofttimes hallmark
of teenage/ pubescent pimply benchmark.

("shared madness," or "madness for two").

I suffer in silence, though not alone
kvetching old curmudgeon (me)
(once upon a time, a promising
long haired pencil necked geek)
buzzfeeding off life's miniseries
of unedited miseries in tandem

with ideal counterpart ofttimes
easily mistaken for a clone
Matthew Scott Harris
unable to function without her
(zee wife), he doth espouse as integral
to calculus of his existence

plus attributes wizardly
powers within (yours truly)
derived, highfived, and thrived courtesy
(think symbiotic), quietly riotously quintessentially,
nevertheless beloved hen pecking crone,
we carrion and cavort

(our respective wings
beating at speed of sound)
generating humming drone
beehive ving amorously
exhibiting unchoreographed tableaux
long practiced routine

equilibrium intermittently punctuated
with dynamic pantomime tour de force
communion words superfluous
since telepathic communication
predominates the unspoken wavelength
long established modus operandi

since... before pledging our troth,
while each ourselves in utero
womb during fait accompli
vis a vis gamely matched
think arranged embryonic marriage,
thus marital covenant

essentially linkedin since conception
both of us coaxed when livingsocial
no longer being tethered to umbilical cord
as lifelong playmates
forging compatible association,
now a gratuitous nod to our long since

dearly departed mothers
unbeknownst to them
how like firmly attached barnacles
each handily, snugly, and warmly fit
(esse mitten hand over fist gal love)
vicariously experienced reciprocal

trials and tribulations
whatever fate visited head of the other
permanently anchoring
nsync out rolling - rock of Gibraltar
across metaphorical stormy seas
trying against all odds

to weather strongest
emotional/psychological tempests
wallowing, née drowning in despair
at aging body, fading senses,
and thinning hair
which last named
akin to Samson

bolsters mein kampf
since... infancy, whose
counterpart betraying me like Delilah
wishing and threatening
(albeit jestingly) to lop off golden locks
each hair reed stranded longfellow
woolworth more'n fine spun gold!

easy to conjure this idyllic June 8th, 2020

Envision bucolic Currier
and Ives rendered landscape,
or canvas painted
courtesy gifted late Thomas Kinkade
(or substitute favorite creative soul)
how aforementioned illustrious artists drape
mesmerized amateur and/or

art appreciation connoisseur
admiring realistic enchanting
imaginary vista heavenly made
entices observer set foot
into picture frame to escape
night gallery twilight zone

outer limits of insanity
madding crowd, urban sprawl
Schwenksville vinyl city haint no substitute
for country scenes to trade,
nevertheless industrialization
indiscriminately didst ****

flora and fauna loot
and pillage terra firma
free for all entire raid
obliterated any vestige
repurposing topographical shape
into accommodations bespeaking

civilization trademark manmade
ever so transient
ephemeral fleeting testimonials,
fast forward near future doomsday
subsequently abandoned pockmarked
terrestrial firmament tract devoid,

where vital ecology left to scrimp and scrape
defrauded token simians top doggone primate,
who angrily jabber and jape,
how **** sapiens temporarily
foolhardy wrested and arrested development
similarly displayed by

supersmart ecocentric beings,
now inhabiting other planets, solar systems
thunderous guffawing Earthlings
laughable price paid
regarding masquerade, facade, charade,
who sowed their own demise,

cuz eventually mother nature
reasserted herself challenging
denizens outfitting (sub)urban square cityscape
Gaia tried her darndest
to reverse subsequent development
after groundbreaking *****

nsync with backhoes and bulldozers
gouged out and erected *******
quixotic, systemic, totemic,
and universalistic symbols
donning barren accouterments
trumpeting outsize egos

housing early humans settlements
more soberly, accurately
setting future stage
archeological alien moonscape
dumbstruck otherworldly explorers
imagining ignoble beasts afraid

to cultivate peace and harmony on Earth
goodwill toward all men/women
perhaps impossible mission
impulse to grab scruffy nape
of countless scraggly long haired
pencil necked geeks

remnants of bajillion
multicultural peopled tribe
occupying all four corners of globe
far long overdue
corrective measure delayed,
though incremental progressive

fits and starts overt
vis a vis protesters of late
think two hundred and
thirty third month into 22nd century.

(visit https://www.aol.com/?ncid=
crosssellusaolc00000003 - for further details)

Courtesy rare derecho
killed four people
nearly forty eight hours ago
power outage affected more than
half a million people
in mid-Atlantic states.

Residents in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
(the poet's hometown)
smack dab within swath.

The storms raced across
keystone and garden states
moving eastward at
over 80 mph at times.

Thus yours truly rendered incapacitated,
(albeit unable to access,
excel as word wizard)
to craft his trademark poetry.

How grateful (before being dead)
to write reasonable rhyme
galumphing within mine head
nsync with zeppelin comprised of lead.

Analogous giddy sensation
ascending stairway to heaven
or metaphorically kneading
figurative dough that doth leaven.

Great appreciation regarding
strapping size men/women,
whose hulking size rivals (or surpasses)
legendary Paul Bunyan,
who gingerly plucked fallen timbers
as outsize paws casually flicks

(think game giant size pick up sticks)
testing restored power outage easy
as ordinary size folks sticking toothpicks
into homemade apple pie
assessing readiness of just desserts
scrumptious piping hot pie à la mode.

Labor of love
meant abandoning taking shelter
'course donning protective suitable gear
'n trumpeting hallelujah
no matter motley crew
drenched with perspiration

imagining myself just
watching cutting crew
would find yours truly to swelter,
when veteran technicians
successfully troubleshot gridlocked
downed wires strewn helter skelter.

Despite Mother Nature's perilous whims,
whereby meteorologists issue stern warning
high severe winds risk taking innocent lives
hazardous falling limbs threaten to damage

property courtesy debris flying to and fro
hither and yon trapping unsuspected victims
wracking in my opinion impractical jokers,
(perhaps someone like me)
not necessarily strictly

being literally immobilized
more so figuratively
limiting basic activities
(think hermit administering his

necessary morning ablutions)
to daylight hours
additionally consuming comestibles
at frozen or room temperature.

Essentially western civilization
dependent upon flow of electrons
imposes quasi human *******,
especially when meteorological

or global warming necessitate
creature comfort of air conditioning
impossible mission to function otherwise
during hazy, hot, and humid dog days
blackout or brownout prospect ratchets up!

(alternately titled: Whew...
so glad I chose absentee/ mail-in ballot),
and agitate (poetically)
November presidential election
brings requisite equality.

Unforeseen (unprecedented)
stiff competition with protesters
crowdsourced within major
Pennsylvania metropolitan areas
necessitating president

to confront inconvenient truth
he (whom even
Voldemort would not name)
must trumpet forth progressive
unilateral talks addressing:

non discriminatory racist practices,
crippling endowed freedoms
(life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness)
denied those who identify as "black"
far to long sabotaged opportunities

to experience unfettered, (albeit invisible)
shackles that unfairly deliberately punish
(brownie points given) those
who destroy innocent lives without impunity
warrants radically kickstarting

revolution, which catalyst
can augment and implement investment
within marginalized populations,
thru courtesy and gerrymandering
disenfranchisement and gerrymandering

impose unfair disadvantages
linkedin to actual and physical enslavement
since encroachment of Europeans
into the heart of darkness (Africa)
ripped apart (rent asunder)

fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters
subjecting violence against indigenous tribes
after uprooting worthy zealots
regarding their own gods
forcibly chaining men,

women and children
blithely lacerating
for most minimal infraction
commanding them gratis
an unfamiliar language.

Countless generations elapsed
whereby ***** people
forced servitude did witness
recurring admirable bounteous mutiny
(ofttimes witnessing savage revenge

at the hands of cruel master)
many occasions leaving for dead
lovely bones once constituting
strong, muscular and agile fellow man
(thank genetic circumstance

donned his/her skin ebony)
endowed with motto
give me liberty, or give me death
emancipation proclamation
announced postbellum,
yet poor living conditions

disallowed, discouraged, disenchanted...
former slaves imposing inherited hardships
prevailing today, where
white supremacist enemies
and bigots in general, particularly one
who occupies white house

Yes folks, an altruistic Joe (biden his time)
must be elected as catalyst ushering major reforms
whereby cooperation among rainbow coalition,
cuz peace on Earth and goodwill
toward all men/women haint impossible mission!

Martial law inapropos to stave, staunch,
and stem police brutality,
nevertheless commander in chief
will violently barrel ahead
particularly when blatant iniquities
flagrantly heaped upon
innocent dark skinned human bodies,
who far to often get accosted, beaten, choked
without justice, but
judged guilty merely existing.

Protestations within metropolitan urban areas
all across the United States
sparking riots else within world
began in Minneapolis on May 26, 2020
following the death of George Floyd
coroners determine cause of death asphyxia
after Minneapolis Police Department (MPD) officer
Derek Chauvin knelt on his neck
for 8 minutes and 46 seconds.

Akin to striking a match
into highly flammable liquid
diverse people expressed legitimate rage
against machinations targeting humans,
whose obvious epidermal pigment
unwittingly sacrifices said
dark skinned people burnt offerings.

Sacrificial lambs only become martyrs,
yet sadly never realize their true value, nor
relish (hot diggity dog) purposefulness
cuz her/his mortality nipped in (figurative) bud
when precious life cruelly stolen.

As iterated courtesy similar
crafted by yours truly
persons falsely hash tagged recalcitrant
(predominantly boys and/or men)
exhibiting physiognomy proclaiming
African American, Australia,

Haiti, Melanesia, Papua
New Guinea and South Asia...
as motherland, more so
black immigrants comprise
growing proportion of said
racial (constituency) population.

Usually no culpability
linkedin with rudely mistreated individual,
whose inalienable (inherent) rights:
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
hijacked solely predicated upon bigotry.

I (despite Caucasian visage)
plus concomitant anatomical accouterments
immediately grant badge of honor
and status of greater worthiness,
when doggone truth
does not merit me

automatic immunity against racial profiling
nsync, where upon birth said black people
unfairly falsely labeled hooligan
disproportionately assumed accountable
regarding crimes and misdemeanors
essentially faulting gregarious person

unknowingly caught in crosshairs
where twenty first century bounty hunter
experiences little or no compassion
towards dignified people,
whereat mine preferred modus operandi
to communicate utter disgust

(think malevolent treatment)
at mercy of cops,
née outright killers
more keen to loose a deadly bullet
versus win/win situation
comprising proactive conversations.

Though red hot poker anger
clearly evidenced courtesy
peaceful altercation (granted hoodlums
abound within fray to wreak bedlam),
but initial and foremost justification
explaining madding crowds
solely seeking redress asper grievances

maiming or killing decent,
kind, respectable neighbor
which hypothetical gal/guy going
about her/his ordinary business
all the while watched, scrutinized, notated...
simply because she/he happens
to belong to proud people of color!

I believe the pen (er... or keyboard)
more powerful than the sword
(substitute agitation, fisticuffs, melee...)
to recognize dignity of brethren and sistern
despite superfluous characteristic namely
melanocytes in some individuals and ethnic groups
which produce variable amounts of melanin.

Agony, grief and particularly anger
roil these lovely bones
life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness
exempts those graced with darker skin tones.

Rather than raucously riot,
I craft emotions courtesy poetry
mine feeble attempt to agitate and protest
sublimated thru scathing poetic indictment
lame contrasted against violent protests.

Peaceable methodology,
(viz printed word) versus war
preferable mode to conflict resolution
opposed to explosive uproar
angry frenzied mob scenes as seen online, or
alternate mass communication medium
valiantly, yet vanely attempt to even out score.

Tipping point evincing breached injustices,
(whereby persons sporting greater melanin)
triggered spontaneous outbursts
(bedlam witnessed while safely sequestered
within Highland Manor apartment
unit B44 May 31st, 2020).

Innocent lives, particularly
those who proudly identify themselves
purportedly black targeted merely because
genetics crafted them darker hued skin
unwittingly and unfairly
site them in crosshairs
where strong arm of the law
indiscriminately takes their life.

Despite genetics bequeathing me Caucasian
(predominantly Eastern European - Semitic features)
with one percent Neanderthal man
thrown in for good measure),
yours truly dispirited,
dismantled, and disgruntled
née disenchanted linkedin
with **** sapiens.

Neither railing nor ranting
can alleviate injustice
visited upon heads and torsos of innocent
Americans, whose genealogy traced to
Africa, Australia, Haiti, Melanesia, Papua
New Guinea and South Asia.

Because they and/or forebears
hailed from areas with highest ultraviolet
radiation in the world,
subsequent generations automatically
serve as fodder stigmatized cradle to grave.

Prejudice, inferiority and abuse
maligned, hashtagged, and dogged
heels of peoples uprooted peoples
south of the equator, or elsewhere
whose epidermis strongly hinted
fifty plus shades of ebony.

They found themselves in debasement
within complex edifice housing
facade of equality
ofttimes receiving punishment
their sole supposed crime
accentuated, heightened, perpetrated
courtesy born swarthy complexion
even if prominent features
(think European) quite apparent.

Two hundred and thirty three months
into twenty first century
bias toward slave descendants
wracks western civilization in general,
and United States of America in particular
i.e. land of the free and the home of the brave
keynote doth ardently heard far and wide,

yet many nth generations removed
since slavery abolished
still remain shackled, especially
when men/women in blue
subject random person of color
to physical assault
frequently culminating with death
of falsely accused
whereby police person acquitted.

Day after day, week after week,
month after month... brutish and nasty
thuggish haughty uniformed cops
create deadly merciless altercations
begetting livid rage among populations
anonymous brethren beaten, shot, strangled...
ensuing hatred particularly endemic
within lower income poorer neighborhoods
where bedlam runs amok!

While figuratively trout fishing
for ideas to write about
analogous (hook, line and sinker)
idea wormed itself into mind with clout
moment of awareness arose
without shadow of doubt.

As a long haired pencil necked teenage geek
zany Harpo, Groucho, Chico ranked as idols
mine most favorite slap stick until I reached
cusp of early adulthood, yet of lately uptick
regarding said comedic acts unexpectedly a
rose, spurring me to revisit adolescent mem
rubble entertainers overarching unstoppable
nostalgic ache for their nonpareil antics did
pang ping pong within mine corporeal esse

Scents trademarked and christened Matthew
Scott Harris, somewhat alleviated watching
courtesy Internet random You Bet Your Life
momentarily experiencing giddiness bursting
with laughter - shy kid relishing hearing quip
lightning fast barbs oft imitated sporting his
greasepaint moustache nsync with cigar size
of small walking stick renown world over an
American iconic figure (+entire motley crew)

lively bunch post World War II boys groomed
since birth begat Minnie Marx (born Miene
Schönberg, 9 November 1864 or 1865 – 13
September 1929) mother and manager of the
Marx Brothers, a family of vaudevillians,
Broadway and film actors, she dominated
band of five boisterous and hilarious brothers
who dominated silver screen more'n nearly 3
4ths century ago sired by patriarch Sam Marx.

No particular rhyme nor reason explains why
aforementioned nitty gritty personal trivia thy
actually more accurately & specifically yours
truly metaphorically unexpectedly did qualify

as teetotaling poetaster to craft poem well nigh
acknowledge inexplicable passion regarding my
heartfelt affection constituting zany wily troupe
linkedin with baker's dozen films iterated wild
3 ringed circus antics did all these years schtick
well lodged within me noggin + gamut of stars

whose career launched during quaint silent film
era albeit (Betzwood, one time, between 1912
and 1924), one of the largest film studios in the
world located in downtown Philadelphia and
their studio lot in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania,
right next to the park, I kid ye not, and... take
look see for yourself by visiting following link.

https://americasbesthistory.com/
spotlight2017-11.html

Upon awakening earlier today
(May 26th, 2020)
felt utterly fatigued without fail
tormenting dreams found yours truly
jangled, harried and
frenzied across broadscale
valiant effort to remain awake
exerted to no avail.

Exhaustion pounded noggin
on par seeking Holy Grail akin
to punishing, pounding,
and piercing clangorous din
unstoppable even after hypothetically

downing entire bottle of Excedrin
recourse I would never resort,
cuz even overdosing once
would be one time to often
nobody except grim reaper would grin.

Stone cold dead would definitely,
(albeit permanently) obliterate
intolerably anguished fraught
mine agitated groggily horrid mental state
suicidal temptation untenable solution
to quiet and annihilate

these every now and again
catastrophic dreams severely dislocate
entire body, mind, and spirit triage
cuz surviving kith and kin plus spouse
would never exonerate
me mortal soul forever cursed mate.

Impossible mission to shrug off
unpleasant wakeful spate exerts
severely debilitating stranglehold
when peaceful night sleep severely
compromised as aforementioned and told
invariably entire day foregone as
hopelessness, purposelessness, uselessness...
wracks corporeal entity (me),

where I wanna fold
these lovely bones into fetal position mold
or hanker to grip hold
of torturous fifty shades of gray matter
wildly renting asunder
as futile lesson to scold
monstrous, odious, rapacious,
and villainous unbearable chokehold.

Reading and writing' and rithmetic
taught to the tune of the hickory stick
academic arduousness long since did abate
oppressive during early school days
considerably more inviting of late
experiencing tormenting
mailer (male er) daemons
catastrophic, dynamic,
enigmatic ferocious ghouls

peppering, pillaging, polluting
pulverizing my pate
possibly linkedin as adverse side effect
the downside prescription medication to sedate
and calm panic attack depressed riddled noggin,
which pharmacological Selective
serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
are most commonly prescribed antidepressants.

Prozac prescribed as antidote
to curb moody blues lessening sadness I emote
and/or stemming prolonged bouts of sinking feeling
analogous to going down within sinking boat,
and more often than not typical day
less fraught as if cerebral cortex smote
with agonizing turmoil, now that's all I wrote.

After lounging in bed until
late morning/early afternoon
we (the missus and I) felt restless
as garden variety buffoon
or think chrysalis itching

to escape encased within cocoon
nevertheless, she mustered hubby
long since retired dragoon
late morning/early after light
clothing he must post haste festoon
he protested against testing

comfort zone merely donning galloon
his self conscious morphology
declaimed repeating honeymoon
embarrassing circumstance,
when caricature artist accentuated

pitiful spindle shanks published
front page see national lampoon
most recent issue or possibly
toothpick legs ought be printed June
a boot six days hence excluding

counting Memorial Day 2020
whereby barenaked ladies
(spouse included) unwittingly ironically,
farcically, and comically forced
skinny dipping under full moon

after newly bride & groom
pledged troth unwittingly nudist beach
entered momentarily devoid
of swimmers, who suddenly at noon
witnessed madding crowd
momentarily oblivious to laughingstock,

one after another burst out guffawing
(at my expense) at picayune
sorry/lame excuse for male
adult **** sapiens peculiar physique
courtesy anorexia nervosa

(when thirteen years old), I caused ruin
permanently stunting psychological
and physical characteristics,
for better part of existence
(mein kampf) uttered lamentable tune.

Absolute zero self worth (the
big goose egg) matter of fact will
state being earnest and frank
going on walk thru Schwenksville
thought person in every
passing vehicle (quite brisk traffic) rill

lee mocked appearance when
espying long haired pencil neck
geek fortunately blessed with
few gray strands deliberately colored via quill
to ad some convincing heft
to boyish good looks, though mill
stone metaphor linkedin with

living little approaching over hill
soon petering into becoming old
and senile, nope never got fill
of teenage romance, I started
dating during early twenties
deterrents to integrate among

including sounding think duckbill
nasal honking, and even hot spell
temps spiking high eighties/
low nineties dressed head
to foot ready for big chill,
especially cuz dehydration less likely.

Officially called Decoration Day
proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan
first observed on 30 May 1868
Waterloo N.Y. officially declared the birthplace
by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966.

though two score and ten plus years since
Appomattox, a psychological balm
helped stitch frayed nation to calm
served as silent psalm
since bombardment at Fort Sumter qualm.

National holiday most adept
at uniting Civil War fallen soldiers
when fiercely armed as brother in arms crept
against opposing forces, which took
by surprise “enemies” or found inept

ill prepared troops with surprise mortal
blow which ambushed attackers leapt
mowing down valiant soldiers, thus
becoming slain grooms who eternally slept
sorrowful lamentable hymns from
widowed brides tears wept.

Cease fire that day
terminating internecine flay
o’er mounds of earth whence
bones o boys donned blue or gray
a day of remembrance for those
who died in our nation's service lay

celebrated this last Monday every May
one must know tis not about division nay
boot about reconciliation
and sacrifice brave heroes did pay,
the price of their lives for granted
freedoms enjoyed as american lee-way.

Forsooth, now we cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

Anomalous earthling inhabited
mancave quarantined
cocooned gamesomely
knowingly protected travesty
impossible mission sidestepping,
thwarting, zapping
eventuality, inevitability,

opportunity utilitarian death
crowning glory fêted within
netherlands immortality
granted courtesy biological
proliferation offspring re
vitalizing, restoring,
requenching spent human lives.

Self sequestration commenced
instant (karma) fertilization set
narration mein kampf within
womb mommy dearest,
she within prime ovulation age
begat me in utero un-
aware how existential crisis
(mine) linkedin metaphor

whereat sanctity housing
yours truly during embryonic
/fetal development + vital
placental lifeline keyed into
present day self (christened
Matthew Scott Harris) still
analogously tethers (as
iterated above) outward adult.

He considers metamorphosis
child to adult incomplete
early during carefree preschool
boyhood heavenly bliss
short lived spunky spontaneity
squelched after first grade
February 28th, 1968 marked
turning point pronouncing
significant psychological

cleavage figuratively pitched
emotional, mental, and
spiritual withdrawal symptomatic
psyche quashed, torqued,
and wrenched full blown cycle
logical gearshift hijacked,
though undoubtedly propensity
inherent since... birth
genetic/chromosomal aberration.

Especially when fatherhood
food me gifted with beauty
full daughter diagnosed at
tender age developmental delay
within asperger's syndrome
thankfully Shana Punim, (a
person's face endearment
appellation - chiefly in Jewish
use) eligible recipient

to receive early onset supportive
services, which initial diagnosis
undertaken within her
first birthday, thus staunching
immense struggles later.
Supportive services incorporated
battery audiological, cognitive,
emotive... tests to help pinpoint diagnosis.
She underwent cost free

(needs based) therapy - most
times resistant and noncooperative
(nonresponsive) to
engage whole heartedly,
but bonding with facilitators
wrought budding relationship
with concomitant trust.
Participation with therapists
and class/campmates (the

latter structured summer programs
pertinent as she evinced
able bodied/minded
to benefit with stepped up
socialization (interpersonal
interaction - or lack thereof)
immediately apparent as preschooler,
but got bolstered
thru confidence building activities.

All thru k-12th grade
our cherished progeny
benefitted being streamlined with
classwork (and take home)
assignments custom tailored,
plus after school
remedial programs boosted flagging
shortcomings allowing,
enabling, and providing laudable

transformations, whereby
she began (to assert herself in
making major decisions),
now at age twenty one (born
February 4th, 1999) lives
with few housemates in Bend,
Oregon while matriculating
at nearby Community College.

Suffering permanent anatomical
disfigurement, nonetheless
maintaining marital bliss
at steep price despite more or less
musculoskeletal dislocation,
I eagerly, readily willingly confess.

Ideal for someone whose height
trends toward above average
unless you don't object tilting
head back in an effort to gauge
keeping noggin cocked
at ninety degree angle tempering rage.

Yours truly gifted with absolute zero
vertical advantage, hence
mine neck craned back imposing
unpleasant strain forcing gent's
head apropos regarding yours truly
futile attempt present instance.

Carotid arteries perfectly positioned
awaiting Jack Ripper's (imposter) knife
thus mine noodle (property
Matthew Scott) induced physical strife
discomfort courtesy directly
linkedin viz the ole hen pecking wife.

Without complaint, I dutifully accepted
challenge to affix curtain
(essentially meant to keep
shower water splashing bathroom floor)
unbeknownst that threading
a camel thru eye of needle sewing pin

Would be a cinch, but such
blessed lesson acquired thru hindsight
initial task assigned me appeared
straight forward until I saw light
bulbs blind me myopic orbs,
thus in addition to afore stated plight...

Husband material (me) sorely
tested to the max, no matter chore
hardly commenced, which
spurred mental note to refrain pointing
at cumulative mold accretion
heavily visible and unsightly eye sore.

Arch disadvantage, yours truly
not being impressive or particularly tall
and thought not to retrieve sturdy
furniture to boost reach heavenly pole
which plastic hooks suspended
plastic shower curtain over long haul.

Upon figuring out how drape like
appurtenance got held in place crick
would necessitate chiropractor
to realign permanently bent poise kick
started when initially troubleshooting
deceptively easy task, no quick

assignment, though obviously
fashioning plastic hook thru pre cut slot
became clear at expense unintentionally
breaking off "J" portion not
possible to avoid subsequently
uselessly rendered hook even if robot
programmed to complete mission,
yet all told poetically smarts I got.

Please accept lame attempt (minus
obvious sensibility) to comprehend
anybody who reads previous literary
endeavors considered virtual friend
unconditionally accepts trademark

swiftly tailored harried style I extend
utilizing all manner of quirkiness,
which moost likely spells mein legend
after I pass from temporal plain,
a posthumous johnny come lately bend

ding formalities of English language
writing, yet wondering what strictures
disallow experimenting with poetic genre,
though methinks literature intend
did (art in general) to eternally evolve

without deliberate intention to offend
any die hard who might call upon
men in white suits and briskly recommend
to the funny farm, where life made
more beautiful perchance receiving stipend.

Raindrops percolate Perkiomen Valley watershed
pleasant reprieve versus quite warm temperatures
yesterday found yours truly averse attempting re:
ding outside, the secluded alcove visible looking
thru single bedroom window here, once upon time

former Schwenksville Elementary School, now re:
purposed Highland Manor apartment alphanumeric
unit B44, 2day precipitation lightly palpitating terra
firma quenching thirsty flora and fauna donning viz
age fifty plus shades of lush green meteorological

regular phenomena offsets prospect where drought
would deprive biota requisite liquid nourishment
speculation June, July, and August promise triple
digits essentially forcing creature comfort ala air
conditioning as climate control to weather extreme

hot temperatures linkedin with global warming, a
grim prospect lately tempered courtesy coronavirus
COVID-19 inexplicably temporarily giving respite
the Earth atmosphere purportedly less toxic since
countless manifold modes of industrial production

lockdown subjected since employees in quarantine
to thwart contagion infecting adjacent areas, thus
impacting transportation hub, no substantial traffic
most rerouted thru information superhighway data
bits and bytes sent to and fro, hither and yon, until

"green light" signalled for businesses to reorient
themselves to alternate paradigm, hoop fully more
eco friendly less dependent upon fossil fuels, where
greenhouse gases deplete ozone layer compromising
delicate balance offset severely trending toward by

Yoda - star wars pitched battles witnessing galactic
empires armed 2 teeth with supersonic weapons mass
destruction spelling demise of human civilization
think brinkmanship whereby within eyeblink en-
tire realm encompassing eastern, western, northern

southern, brethren and cistern multifarious legacies
snuffed out without a trace extinguishing gamut of
living things great and small, perchance world wide
web overtaken with radiation resistant critters, an
unrecognizable changing of the guard when no pry

mates abled (Cain not) wrest control against giant
size carnivorous entities deliciously feast carrion
until nothing but lovely bleached (bomb shelled)
bones scattered across the pock marked terrestrial
landscape - mush room 4 opportunistic organisms.

(alternately titled: dost newt expend
precious tears toward pitiful poet!)

Intense passion to read
doth foster divine enlightenment...

Also simultaneously, albeit instantaneously
triggering brutal mind-numbing self awareness
starkly underscoring how existence (mine)
devoid scant trace
positive life enhancing events,
more so quality being alive

analogous - think vicious feedback loop
underscoring how yours truly
passionately enjoys multifarious authors
buzzfeed curiosity crafting riveting saga
fueling said avidity to glean
material fostering cerebral satiation.

No matter whetted appetite
temporarily alleviated regarding
feasting imagination proffered
thru well crafted saga
actuality, reality, totality
essentially self quarantined
sabotaged, sequestered, squandered
within wide webbed

wonderful world of books
merely minimally testing his mettle
ironically endowing me to scrutinize
smidgen differentiation which prevails
distinguishing counting himself,
not unlike grateful dead,
where umpteen counting crows carrion.

Impossible mission to staunch
or stem the tide
sustaining feasting upon written word
diametrically opposing inner sentiments
scathe such bare bones
participation amidst gamut
of experiential opportunities.

Much more convenient
to savor dramaturgy
(where death defying deeds -
some perhaps done dirt cheap)
allow, enable, and provide
route to revel vicariously
submerging body, mind, and spirit

constituting adventures documenting
personal authored exploits,
and/or creating realistic
i.e. believable characters.
Thus days, weeks, months...
elapse finding me cocooned

(particularly advantageous
to cite coronavirus - COVID-19
as honest to dog
legitimate response if queried
what keeps me hermetically sealed
I can trot out series of unfortunate events
mandating each individual

to maintain isolation
(such passive withdrawal story of mein kampf,
thus no hardship to avoid madding crowd)
palpable, tenable, viable... justification
self evident, which status satisfactory
til death do me part.

Ever since... perchance in utero
this fella trends toward
astute, hirsute, prostrate...
stance (figuratively of course)
whiling away hours, days, months...
engrossed decrypting, insulating, procuring...
twenty six lettered symbols

linkedin to person, place or thing
ephemerally gravitating wholeheartedly
engrossing trials and tribulations
affecting wordsmith, which alter ego
represented courtesy dynamic
events spilling across page turner
leaving swirl of emotions
in their wake.