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HENCE....herewith,
a post (traumatic)
stressed disordered poetic whim
to summarize fantasy
incorrigible lottery dreamer
paradise visage and eyes
zapping, swatting, and battling
a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with
Mega Million ticket bought

temptation for instant millions
human foible to reach
for elusive *** of gold
streak of universal desire
for potential wealth
overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught

envision emancipation from penury
a distant battle fought
expect the usual outcome
after next drawing
to yield monetary windfall naught
impossible mission
to banish tantalizing thought
and fully block and tackle
hard scrapple existence wrought.

When (countless moons ago)
progeny discovered girlhood insights,
I did wholeheartedly love and adore
who rushed  into my arms
whenever back from trivial pursuits
at the core
when casually and nonchalantly
turn the key to open the front door
legal tender in such precious chronically
in short supply within family

catch bull at four
inviting me to play make believe
games being King Midas on the floor
boot budding young lady begotten girls
nearly squeezing out digested gore
akin to the finest crafted clock work
to sound the time of day
they danced and frolicked
like kittens or puppies
though at times I desired
them to bring newspaper

and slippers questioning
reciprocating sharing
silly concocted faux pa lore
at least another son or daughter more
at such urge (long silenced
of this ram by ewe gnu who)
did vehemently (cue
Katy Perry's pet lioness) to roar
enjoying revelry without keeping score
yet…creating memories
I will forever store.

Financial straits affected
our existence hand to mouth
all grandiose aspirations to succeed
in life frequently head south.

Creative healthy endeavors
find excitement and linguistic pleasure
thru the attempt
reasonably rhyming aligned
words that synchronize suitably
in poetic third eye blind
delivered by one blessed
angel (beating tom tom club) in disguise
redemption and salvation
considered thankful find

readers may espy hidden puns
within this rhyme lined
with challenges or commiserate
and complement via words of positive kind
although large sum of money
would be a dog send
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
loosening pent up tension to unwind

Much rather be cursed
with excess wealth
deliverance to life, liberty
never to rue by stealth
and mental health
depravity foreign concept
as is the obsolete word dealth;
A share dealt out; a portion or division.
The following lines
haphazardly linkedin
slap dash fashion
over the course
of dazed and confused days,
therefore desist reading
any profound meaning
if you dear reader dare expend
energy and time perusing
meandering gibberish.

One mortal wedded male
pledged his troth and married gold,
thus Marigold (abbreviation of her name)
my monied imaginary paramour,
I willingly tasted sweetened deal
until milk of human kindness went sour,
whereat said benefactor
no longer ponied up funds
and didst reckon
eyes that espy wads of moolah.

She naysayed bequeathing
unlimited largesse,
and claimed over generous
financial beneficence
spurred misplaced
horse sense to go amiss
not thee holy grail
viz billeted, fortified,
lulled, and touted panacea

steeped with ushering bliss
delivering monetary salvation
analogous envisioning mirage
to an ephemeral lost horizon,
which illusory utopia
foolhardy to chase after
fostering long globe trotting criss
crossing all four square corners
across the oblate spheroid

in search of said golden manna,
experiencing das boot
jilted jack of alt raids
copacetic, fetishistic,
idiomatic...logogrammatic,
opportunistic, rhapsodic, universalistic...,
nevertheless despite surge
of clamoring sycophants
bajillion dollars windfall wordsmith
wishes himself subsequently

cursed bing flush
with ample legal tender
quite ad aware
regarding the over emphasis
on material trappings
courtesy the blitzkrieg of
mass media/ popular culture
and the adumbrated pleasure
of the leisure class

vis a vis his venerated holiness
trumpeted, encapsulated, and donned
conspicuous consumption
(tba as wasting away greenbacks)
SPCA adopted pet credo, ethos,
hot button western civilization polemics,
this hortatory expressed
by Thorstein Veblen
doth not miss

a figurative beat,
which American
not so shabby chic ethic
brought him as eminence grise -
though tongue in cheek he made Swiss
cheese out of the bulwark
constituting the capitalistic coda,
which I rarely sermonize, but tis
only this instance to beseech
whomever may anonymously

intercede on my behalf
to parlay voo any dollar figure -
since this LXIV year old papa
of two fully grown
darling daughters struggles
psychologically like the dickens
learning how to take broken wing,
and a prayer
to reinforce analogous fence of defiance,
yours truly uber twittering

one flew over the cuckoo's nest
birds of a feather stick together
meaning mine other half thee spouse
similarly tussles and wrestles
with psychological mailer daemons -
that snigger and laugh
at owning psychic landscape,
as similar malevolent depredations
infiltrate my mind –
ousted through the staff

of pharmaceutical wizards -
this chap relies on eight
prescription medications
to attain quality mental health
and receives social security disability
for incursions of anxiety, panic,
and social schizoid disorders
in years gone by exacerbated
by unceasing verbal black barbs
from mine imaginary mistress - ha.
Unseen enemy invades my body
with platoon of green berets air
rating, and enfilading immune system viz
Hib bully knock and sock kin me
courtesy roebuck seers sucker punches
mightier than stormy daniels wallop
from an indomitable
haversack being carrying
courtesy giant bully bear,
whereby cyclopean ogre

freighted hallucinatory dreams
popped up, dunkin noggin - donut ask
clouding ordinarily outlook clear
via this germane, foo fighting earthlinked,
googly eyed live prodigy
also smart **** derriere
(ha – at least sense of humor still intact),
when rest only respite against e’er
gang num of good n plenti
supreme warriors decimating

heralding, lobbing, pulsating fanfare
for this common man
ordinarily robust healthy Donald,
with Machiavellian bravado –
leaving said prince charged with impedance
unable to muster commando egg flu Jung
undermining capacity to brandish
barren grinchlike ******* prestige
self anointed reputation as grandpoobear
smacking dagnabbit fearlessness

sync king, limning, and feigning
to be among magnificent seven
donning follicles slicked
in imitation of greaser
coiffed swept back blond hair,
where (if one could zoom
and magnify manifold)
tom tom club melee
evincing, hammering and
juxtaposing sterling rods

bamboozling schlepper
with molecular size bots
trumpeting atomic bombs
leveling MineCraft concentration
with piercing arrow marks
intrepid invisible microscopic organisms,
attack in Cingular
hardened gear entity,
aggregate, blasting billingsgate, congregate,
gravitate as best buy,

capital one egghead, albeit flimsy
groupon heir inherited
courtesy Don Ask Jeeves throne –
as one BuzzFeed linkedin
uber twittering shutterfly on my Bing
viz, said lothario tumblr hotmail
happened tubby barren some fancy feast,
where gimlet eyes cling aspirin, Bufferin
with super acting non-glue tin,
NOR NON GMO guaranteeing LifeLock

on par with pinteresting illuminaire
hand crafted glittering gold earring
overlaid with anti-semitic,  
egotistic, and misogynistic veneer
invaders re: Avast itsy bitsy potpourri
of foreigners re: survivors
without remorse to fling
helter skelter infectious germs
flittering to and fro hither and yon
within mine corporeal

cerebral domed gummed hell
hounded integral kickstarter
i.e. complex edifice pell mell
twittering, SnapChatting, Ringling Brother  
Barnum, Banks, Bailey & Bittle
inherited deadly killjoy Bluetooth to quell
defensive IdentityGuard
courtesy from mothers -
little helpers – satisfaction generating
excellent skill casting a spell

binding heavenly gilt free,
progressively deteriorating conditions,
where William Tell
Overture played over,
and over incessantly within –
no let up waking in cold blood, sweat
and tears unwelcome viz zit
by archers in dark hoodies
wielding bowed slings and arrows well
aimed at apple of heart,

ratcheting up a notch,
this feeling feathery tarred,
and essentially un well,
where microbial infrastructure
bound me with fluted
strep throat drumming,
thus disallowing me
to imitate rebel yell.
Ordinarily all manner
of tomfoolery doth abound,
celebrated for countless centuries
by different cultures,
though exact origins remain
shrouded in mystery,
nevertheless quasi holiday of sorts
begat courtesy primitive precursor
to Central Intelligence Agency
nsync with Federal
Bureau of Investigations
equivalent to Fred Flintstones

as spymasters forebears,
whose true identity
dubbed secret double agent
linkedin to Bedrock background
check, where court jester donned
as most important person and crowned
accordingly prevaricating
without suffering any retribution,
saying the unpopular king drowned.

The following poem
written/updated since last year
unlike any other
when out of this world
outlandish accouterments
people did wear
hermetically sealed
of even faintest tear
to avoid contamination

against coronavirus
air supply difficult to spare,
when wing and prayer
soul saving amazing grace
analogous to can opener
regarding necessary kitchenware,
which empty canned food tins
helps putting out
little fires everywhere.

Pandemic straps tightly
plied girded beltway
unlike any other All fools day
in annals of recorded ("fake") history
western civilization tapestry doth fray
April first two thousand and twenty three
neigh, no time for horseplay
what with coronavirus (COVID-19)
boarded ship of jilted fools
(think **** sapiens)

barred courtesy omnipotent jackstay
furloughed workers analogous
grumpy minions lay
dwarfed by unfortunate
uncontrollable pandemonium and melee
global events, née...
germinating, jackknifing,
and wreaking havoc
Mother Earth nonchalantly toying
(indiscriminately) regarding humanity

as bestrewing bajillion biohazards berserkly
bequeathing bedlam child's play
just desserts, she doth understandably repay
man/womankind flicked as flotsam and jetsam
vile treatment diabolically heaped,
jubilantly loosed, maniacally pitched
upon her terrestrial firma oy vey
she chokes, gags, laughs raspily yea
rebuffs, refuses, and renounces further abuse.

Nevertheless toothless gumption, albeit feeble
fighting spirit, her survival instincts assail
cumulative environmental destruction
triggered casus belli expelling deadly toxins,
when Gaia doth exhale
since onset of global interregnum
(think virulent spreading poisonous Kudzu
like wildfire biohazard)
since world wide webbed disease
brought grinding halt
consumerist paradigm in lockdown,
nonetheless within brief interim

noticeable clearer air to inhale
amazingly enough postal system...
intact voila... uninterrupted
delivery of (nope – sorry) no mail,
the daily highlight experienced
among people emotionally crippled
pasty faced and pale
finds quivering Captain Kangaroo
plus good n plenti proud primates
each dancing and quivering
like a captive (dan gulling) quail.
So all I ask, would be
inviting, offering, and ushering me to
top secret cygnet committee
to give this average sized
chapped sticky man
spinning the david bowie playlist
as a somber dee jay
an eel lick trick kool aid battery acid test
dancing in the street
even if that requires me to get undressed
dancing with the big boys

my helping hands of average size
worthy to sink initial
public offering funds
and don me with bullet proof vest
building a soulful bond –
glue tin free - day in day out
tis the emotional state
of ma deux grown darling daughters
choosing to take flight
leaving this dada glum many days
assigned chauffeur de jure father

where cradle of democracy
i.e. phila., penna skyline due west
opposing to dwell in the city,
I am just dead against it
does pursue assigned tasks with aplomb
twittering, springing
and googling hypnotically
like a dead man walking
appealing banana rhea public like zest.

Yours truly loner moxie he got
who enjoys tasty kumquat
teasing as fragrant decadent debaser
who (years ago) experienced
social anxiety with abdominal knot
barking, dancing, and foaming
at the mouth diamond dogs
twiddle ling green thumbs

oof a harris tweed
interesting when deep sleep
stirs question did you ever have a dream
butta, non raincoat wearing scott
drying out the muddy
and watery ***** song
lives in or on xyz lane
allowing avid bowie fanatics

to do anything you say
where construction
shoddy as dung key kong
stepping gingerly
around the pile of dodo
whereby foundation starting to rot
positioning myself just so,
that ye don’t bring me down
I turnip ma head of lettuce n eyed

rotten green tomatoes
while yam able to trot
don’t let me down & down
now this cracked egg noggin
thoroughly mixed up
warning ye against the temptation,
to jump into a chocolate vat
hence don’t look down
in mind and even out loud,
ja utter more'n !@#$ what!

Postscript: how didst aye fair
keeping thine bow tied
heart in suspense asking - don’t sit down
asia faux pas king lear
hoping for his divine arrival
with movie time drive in saturday
whom might live far or near
breathing sigh of relief
at appreciable distance
‘tween dum dum boys

even though seasoned heartland I see
tackling threading n camel
thru needle than writing
bajillion line poem
evinces davy jones locker
sealed with a prayer
honoring the solemn funeral
whereat everyone says hi
doth exist whether heterosexual
or supremely "queer"

everything’s all right
such immense gulf
entombs plenty of fish
flailing with death
as all dog bombs the moon
and carcasses of those in rear
envying that titanic ghost
of david bowie to fall in love with me
guard, yukon beak comb
good friends n share

until time lapse on terrestrial sphere
finds metamorphosize unbeknownst
to bobbing buoys
and gabbling gulls tear
ring thru the vast tarn shroud
amidst wreckage where
manifest destiny
swallows up the man who fell to earth
amidst tha sea of humanity
tulle thee last civilization year
will forever disappear.

this psalm burr endeavor from:
modest nonpareil wordsmith
Flinty stones figuratively rolling inside
whooping out that primal
binaural beat of your drum
ma mind haphazardly
ricocheting axon to neuron
inducing inxs of chaos
wreaking entropy beheld
by beauty and the beast
enveloping means to enjoy
sacred moments treasured

savoring, seizing, and signaling salad days
because you’re young
within reliquary of fragile cerebral dome
croaking before proving betty wrong
frost bitten cyber surfing
butter fingers glove lee hutted,
inciting ire of uncle sam i.e. big brother
flitting to n fro-hither n yon
microscopic wingspan
encompassing the greensward

from black country rock
in search of poem I can offer,
fancying this nonestablishmentarian
wearing a black tie white noise
thus herewith meanders
this binary, a lobbed
bot tommy bit wan
burning cheeks when power
restored from blackout
being bitta bing bitta bang

resonating with nonsense syllables
blah blah blah
non supernova star
provided location to scan
oozing life source when mum
did bleed like a crazed dad
from other end of earth lan
ding soft as a well-
worn pair of blue jeans
(weighed with ire -

that rocks me precariously
dodging fisticuffs from
beastie boys keep swinging
upon precipice of kat man do) I ran
creating the rush of breaking glass
here comes chaste,
cher full sunny (bono fide)
indulging the audience
with a brilliant adventure
super duper man to provide aid,

where panting damsel in distress
clamoring for someone
to bring me the disco king
no matter out of breath
sagging  pants like whirring fan
whining intonations iterated
from buddha of suburbia
self propelled from...flatulence
from consuming whey to much bran.

Well, I (with forrest gump by my side) attest
stinging cactus
life haint no box of heart shaped chalk a lits
hoping thee can you hear me
for snapping jaws of zee bill collectors
to tittle late each breast
pounding pulsations indicative
perchance can’t help thinking about me
this bloke shipwreck tubby
one of hue man species best

vying with a slew
of many presidential candidate
buys to hire, a modest fellow
meowing as purr ring cat people
who does not thump his genetic chest
indicating positive changes
like an alpinist
scale lean ***** o mount everest
yodeling millennial chant
of the ever circling skeletal family

enjoying breathtaking view as visual fest
with a mild manner demeanor
as like some guest
kindling warmth against the chilly down
a lighthearted genteel friendly dude,
one who doth like to jest
flirting delightfully with a lovely china girl
lest
shattering porcelain damsel
clatters with a ching a ling

age inappropriate actions
get this opportunity messed
decrying the rampant killing at columbine
since initial writing of these lines
other school shootings
up in order to support dependents in this nest
espying a sale asia come and buy my toys
with me hen pecking spouse
i.e. argh quite thee pest
repeating ad infinitum

the death of david bowie
as conversation piece
though now back on track
sans per philanthropist quest
annihilating with urban blight
a megalopolis crack city
in order to put msn
(miss in) mailer daemons
the mind of this live earth-linked cool

ostracizing once famous,
but now cracked actor
hotmail yahoo at rest
praying not to become firearm fodder
from this criminal world
according to sir isaac newton
when object least stressed
maintaining molecular composition
wrought like crystal japan.

HEAVENLY STANZA INTERRUPTION TWO
I mull mortality
thru lens crafted occipital orbs
regarding a better future
experience sing a space oddity –
whar incessant yaks
exuding a big hurt
emanate as cosmic atomic
bipedal hominids replete roof lee wax
during a foggy day in London town
despite current requisite vacs  

in nation, with no win intent to tax
earning income sans
new career in a new town
sacred gaia,
boot merely regale bing alive -
till death rattle racks
breaking rocks
on a small plot of land –
named abdulmajid
this hue man vesicle

honking duck dine hasty billed quacks
trumpeting as absolute beginners
*** ping toot trumpet
sum dimming sense n sensibility cashed;
screaming across the universe  
gnome matter whirled wide web
tattered like worn school packs
scattering fractal moonbeams
african night flight
scouring virtual briny deep

satiating hunger after all
sans respite from stressors 2-tha max
ending after today at al alba
finds me caught up
in global game of thrones
listening as dueling banjos
play alabama song
cosmic forces play bingo or jax
keeping aladdin sane
while mortals on earth join
fine null scene grim reaper as final acts.

This then bryn mawr clowning bozo
belting out algeria touchshriek anthem
haint no wah shaky spear butta rip peats
living virtuous like all saints
moss lee same old epithet via matt speak,
comprehending all the madmen
which maxim (or similar facsimile thereof)
generating kickstarting optimism
among all the young dudes
attributed to bard of avon on stratford;

reaching renown when almost grown
e.g. rose by any other name....
embalming owed grecian formula lovers
always crashing in the same car
much ado about nothing
amazing amlapura and amsterdam
couched in binary granules viz badinage,
interlocking rem cycles
during an occasional dream
literary espionage donned
as persnickety persiflage, quite lame

convincing brilliance
to whit, and I say to myself
eventually...all's well
that ends well sans this game
reveling like any Warhol –
tripping anyway, anyhow, anywhere
of thrones - n this yahoo
pledges allegiance n fealty
during the post world war two art decade
within parameters of cyberspace
cuz crest o kinship I aim.

Ike kin only imagine dragons
drooling n eyes glazed o’er bleacher
blitzing the madding crowd
as the world falls down
than lovely bones re:
unique scrunched ****** feature
burning down the house ashes to ashes
twisted countenances wrought
by this motley fool sought after
baying plaintively baal’s hymn
(der choral vom groben baal)
by men in white coats attired

as paparazzi equating lecher
rocking cradling baby –
envisioning baby can dance
us content; misconstruing
sensitive uber up lyft ting preacher
entrusting me - baby it can’t fall
cooing baby grace (a horrid cassette)
a generic garden-variety **** sapiens
doting with radiance
as baby loves that way
special to self n family
as a funny sunny teacher.

Credo i.e. to confront
fear of flying as netizen,
pinging pacifying patty cakes,
which iz baby universal
pardon jeffersonian airplane droning
twittering like n angry bird
shrieking that the referee backed a loser
echoing sagacious life lessons whey curd
ballad of the adventurers
(die ballade von den abenteureren)

congeals shape shifting simian
with pliant plinth gird
trebling melodic scaffold fueled band intro
shorn in various n sundry
couture hair re: styled swiftly tailored
flying needles clattering with a bang bang
harried styled uniform
far from versace clothier - prices absurd
holding wrongly incarcerated
behind bars of the county jail

boot issued from
rosy gun metallica sound heard
describing the battle
for britain (the letter)
evanescence of beauty -
these words written by aging nerd
hoping for thee to be my wife
from mine kempf noggin
each n every nine inch nail size word.

HEAVENLY STANZA INTERRUPTION ONE
My humblest apology if the following account
doth gross thee out forlorn childhood of mine
found further ostracization of me tantamount
being shipped off to a leprosarium.

As a chronic gold digger in early grade school,
specifically within nasal passages, I excelled at
locating awesome gooey gems. The pinky seemed
most opportune for button nose of mine as most
convenient handy implement to mine for juicy
succulent wads of yuck. Early academic ex pear
re: ants helped refine delicate art of reaching
pitch perfect snot. This individual craft essentially
entails extensive dexterity in conjunction with
recognizing ideal picking time. If one plunges

the little finger prematurely, nothing but a glob
of **** will dribble out. Best to wait until rock
hard sensation felt when applying pressure to
either nostril. The consistency of rock candy the
best analogy for this other than tasteful habit
instinctively learned when being housed in the
womb. Upon birth one or more phalanges often
solidly locked where mucus generated. This
common medical condition frequently requires
delicate intervention (usually minor surgery)

to separate glued gummy intertwined proboscis
with fleshy mitts. As a natural born miner for
the most moist and choice septum byproduct,
this man as one gangly whipper snapper mastered
the art of sifting thru the sinus cavity to extricate
boulder sized buggies wrote the book on this
ole factory chews. Unlike many other young
children who fancied this fun hunt for crusty
crab cakes like formations as delectable treats,
this grown man chose to paste them on under

side of his desk. No particular strategy for affix
sing goop upon the underneath section of old
fashion unit (whereby the top opened up and
provided a dish like formation to store materials)
motivated this daily cultivating for ripe buggies.
Within very few months, the front most section
became quite thick with wads of buggies that
quickly hardened into scaly coating displeasing
even to my high tolerance for gross. Since no
preliminary measure took place to map out

where to place the collection of daily glob,
inevitable contact took place with aging dried
buggies that felt like molting shells of insects.
Nightmares eventually took place incorporating
this scary goblin like creature (usually dripping
lugi with mossy slime), which sought out his
insatiable hunger for buggies. In these dreams,
I tended to be honored with razor sharp fangs
and dagger type fingernails. The latter came
in particular service to probe my pinocchio-

sized smeller with amazing ease to scrape
practically to the brain (and perhaps some
grey matter did get unintentionally removed)
to appease the buggy monster. Soon after wake
king up in a start from this nightmare (when
outsize still pitchblack), a blurry image seemed
to dart thru away leaving soggy footprints
closely resembling phlegm!
Yes, believe me you,
I (also considered the best karaoke singer
for the go-go's)
putting Shabrina Leonita to shame
back in two thousand and twenty one
once flew high as the eagles
a grateful dead foo fighting,
earth wind and fire, beastie boy adult,

thus hopefully explaining why
I joined blue oyster cult
begetting the following rhyme I exult
while exuding angelic,
beatific, electric, fantastic,
idyllic, Judaic, kaleidoscopic
halo shimmering galt
garnering heavenly indault.

Without wearing a helm mitt on my head,
yet did suffer inxs
of welts the size of cranberries
amidst talking heads, whose traffic
mishap of cars unable to stp,
thus this passenger indistinguishable from
avast metallica skidrow populated
with heart shaped pearl jam wreckage
upon smashing pumpkins everywhere
with an evanescence shimmering
like spilt midnight oil, which dire straits

charged the super ***** ping
man-made debacle into kiss
from grateful dead village people whose
beatle brows scrunched tight
creating black crows imprimatur
resembling little feet easily mistaken
for hair line fractures,
which strongly appealed to the goo goo dolls,
who lived three doors down
purportedly within which

resided a queen latifah
(an iron maiden ruling america and europe)
plus when asked for bread, she point
in one direction, mere rolling stones away
the black eyed peas, whose ac/dc power
crowded house did feel as if 10,000 maniacs
did squeeze into a tiny black hole,
thus forsaking experiencing nirvana,
with near asphyxiation attributable
to lack of air supply so carpenters got called

to expand and golong
with a gilt emblazoned cupola –
just for kix, and to lure
a silly rabbit doing trix
any wonder full stevie adore,
which teamsters included
skilled one tradesman
roof WinWrite, these collective souls,
a veritable culture club unto themselves
off phish shill lee within the a similar
reo speedwagon as sly and the family stone
choosing king crimson to manage the influx

qua motley crue, which jane's addiction
kept ideal bad company for alice n chains,
the latter whose enslavement
akin to cinderella deprived such indigo girls
to jet set with their sought after
prince charming (even resigning themselves
to a Jethro tull type), or a chap
similar to the garden variety allman brothers,
who didst serve as Lumineers
doobie brothers morale booster

to an imaginary dragon (which beastie boy
foo fighting animals owned
by the legendary kings of leon),
whose mythic storied
BuzzFeed  incorporated their encounter
with blondie (who donned a golden earring),
which Dixie chick happened to be hail a van
driven by the everly brothers,
which latter escaped be combing caged
like monkeys in a zoo,

and carved out a niche
as beach boys blessedly banished,
where they fed on red hot chili peppers
dredged via bay city rollers
to sustain their being a survivor,
and welcomed by experiencing rebirth
viz genesis, whar
mambo kings proffered palliative
to smooth kinks concomitant with cast off
as a foreigner on maroon 5.

Zealousness yowled x wise,
venturesomely urged viz thighs
sensuousness roared qua prize of nascent
marvelous libidinal kisses jeweled iridescent
hides genital fulfillment
explodes delicious capacious brides’
atonement breathtakingly conceding conception
decides elopement fashions gustatory hoopla
insides jot kickstarter
latching mightily nourishing oxides
maids visited  unmet
testosterone satiation roared.

The brothers Gibb
lit roches ****** madness
jumpstarting, mustering puckering,
snickering at barenaked lady
male fraud betraying faithful missus,
(a veritable madonna)
meowed lamentably
analogous to cat stevens
kindling joyousness indeed.

Hotmail garnered fingerhut egghead
drew capitalone BuzzFeed amen.
offers his unsolicited tidbits
as scene courtesy
the following virtually
staged philosophical insight.

Arch back like
a professional ballet dancer
to stand out from other pedestrian applicants
seeking to fill my well-worn shoes
that fit my little feet.

Illuminate your soul
via modest communication
sans toe tilly tubular sole full insight
acquired thru being apprenticed
with storied prestigious law firm
of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale,
and Marathon Nike.

Keep your nose to the academic grindstone
despite the temptation
to appropriate the international family business
and graduation with supreme accolades
from one unnamed famous father.

He forsook frivolity per his peers
in exchange for a stock reputation
of gentility honesty, and integrity
despite his humble roots
as the only male heir
of a Middle Eastern European
Jewish mother and father.

They scrimped, saved and sacrificed
scarce resources to set the stage
for this scion of well-deserved
fame and fortune.

Never forget those grandparents
whose adherence to work their fingers
to the bone (literally)
allowed, enabled and provided
this founding partner
per the trio of stalwart attorneys
for the underdogs
of the World Wide Web.

Match deeds with credo
of obedience to the law
of the land, as epitomized
by Abraham Lincoln.

Such obeisance to a democratic dogma
will be firm stepping-stones
to engender and kindle
an Amazon zone of cathartic karma
from paternal persona.

Such acquiescence toward morals
of the conscience
(and remembrance of previous generations
blood, sweat and tears)
will serve as intrinsic manna
for clients to clamor
like an unstoppable rolling stone
to seek counsel from one
whose genuine heartfelt equalitarian demeanor
a near perfect recipe for satisfaction
for helping others smooth out
jagged abutments arising in their lives.

Rather than lecture and command
with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror
(as casually espoused in “The Prince”
by Machiavelli), this democratic,
humanistic, liberal minded
torchbearer of justice advises
active listening (as advocated
by the late Jean Dole,
my renown mentor
from Lima, Pennsylvania),
inculcating intuitive posturing
toward delivering random acts of kindness.

This includes offer services pro bono
if an individual, family, municipality,
et cetera appears copacetic
yet struggles against insurmountable
odds from the fickle finger of fate.

Exemplify by example of zeal
for the underdog
(immersed in some catastrophic series
of unfortunate events)
that money need not be demanded
before the welfare of the downtrodden
(sic – such as the Harns Family
from Penn Valley –
who live among the wealthiest people,
yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats)
from the mere exuberance
of witnessing an ear to ear
smile of gratitude.

Rather than be biased,
inclined to be prejudiced
based on cursory observations
of one or many barely clinging
to the life raft of survival,
I (as a humble human)
encourage a relationship of trust
before casting an indiscriminate eye
toward those less fortunate
to live in the lap of luxury.

Luck (or the lack thereof)
an invisible yet potent additive
to this mix for those flush
with disposable income or exiled
to a hand to mouth hardscrabble dilemma.

Daily acknowledgement for
ethnic, genetic and quixotic
dice throw of chance in tandem
with loving support of immediate
kith and kin instrumental in keeping
in check bombastically egotistical,
haughtily radical degradation
of fixation of values steeped
in appreciation of aesthetics, beauty,
charm, decency, equality
from gifts hoed inside.

Joyfulness keeps love moving
needling offset predilections.

Quality rests squarely
upon the pillars of staying
within the bounds of service
to those less able bodied or beset
with untold obstacles that discourage
setting virtue (or the closest approximation
of what that means
to the inquiring mind)
as precedent to blaze a trail
of care and concern.

Always maintain benevolent devotion
forswearing greediness.

Invoke keepsake mandating
omnipotent natural personal righteousness
to vaccinate yourself against
heinous, nefarious, pernicious,
et cetera rapacious
trapdoors of selfishness.
Fruitless effort squeezing figurative juice
Pandora called triggering
helter skelter to get loose
necessitating Bullwinkle J. Moose
to usher at yours truly
(an aspiring wordsmith) vamoose!

Hey ****** ****** the cat and the fiddle
went off to see a crooked man and woman
whilst cowards jumped over moo-ving little
pair of mismatched
calf fully ambling muggles,
who both walked from scan
din navy yah,
(nor-way could action be stopped
otherwise den-mark would be left),
where dog goniff imps
jousted with brittle

shaky spears, den did mark
neither path to norse east, where pan
demon yum erupted over adult
playing monkey in the middle
and bear witness to such sport
as dishabille donned dude named Evan
spoon fully ladled insults adrip
with indignity of loosing - bubbling spittle
spluttering trumping monitor
to claim game rigged,

which assault whipped a ban
she against being accosted
from mish shuga,
a towering ebony Amazonian,
who didst tittle
late tad evincing groan nips quibbling
over what appeared to be a van
knit tee fair of bruising egos essentially
fighting for dominion
over right to urinate i.e. piddle
and defecate in non

gender specific restrooms wan
ever the urge
to empty the bladder or ****** -
(even if poo peas, the size of a skittle)
fraught major firestorm ratcheting,
synonymous with dandy rhyme
blues clues without reason -
dime a dozen cents less ditty -
snap, pop, and crackling
as hot cakes on a griddle.

Actually, the above
juiced a freaky Friday sideshow
displaying, hurraying, layawaying,
portraying and tracklaying dis-obeyed
rubric of respect, where decent
honorable linkedin maturity laid
waste to politesse, whar all stops pulled
sans presidential debates shade
no light on meaty issues,
but mudslinging as faux hit parade
housing and trumpeting an offer

to make America Great Again
thru yelping vanguard,
uber up lyft promulgating,
and intimating 4 years
times 52 long weeknd rock'm sock'm
bash re: hollow wean
qua vamp pyre avast
state farm riotous quacking,
whence life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness decayed

into growling pedigreed mishmash made
for kickstarter bullied
prize **** fighters
indeed jimmying stockade
bag of tricks viz contesting scalawags,
tearing like rabid animals inlaid
with bared teeth,
and mouth frothing foam,
who just barely evade
coming to fisticuffs,

while presenting scathing hair-raid
nada so hill a re: us political pugilists
making up rules on shutterfly
spotify, and not afraid
toot change horses in midstream
to fix outcome of game
of thrones spouting
unfair sands casino trade
thus, billy-clubbing husband
of opponent indulged

in many a rapacious escapade
smear tactics and mistruths
essentially, he sung hiz zone
battle hymn of republican party,
a mockery and charade
driving donnybrook conspiratorial
billed Jefferson muttering arcade
guarded by ensconced
male and female Petsmart Weimaraner,
attired in a Thom malt chew wuss
Nast tee getup

elephant and donkey costumes respectively
while viewers entertained,
who succeeds as next blade
runner, and earn chance
to run country into the ground,
then a fancy feast for morticians,
one world wide webbed graveyard
moss lee tubby
taken back by Mother Nature,
thee indomitable ace of *****.
This subdued wordsmith
doth not rack his brains to **** fess appeal
toward one household pop starlet.

He blithely, nonchalantly, and willingly
add mitts audiological enjoyment, sans the lithe
hot feline Taylor Swift - I might be
the only baby boomer ****** mwm,
who admires this talented singer/songwriter,
yet owns NO (absolute zero)  
aspirations beyond composing poems or prose
toward divine dame.

A questionable attempt to stitch together –
analogous to knot sew swift a tailor,
this scribe sought to create a poem
(crafted countless years ago)
from her then song titles spanning
the letter “A” to the letter “H.”

Despite never setting eyes
(AND MOST Definitely NOT PAWS),
this grateful dead corpse of a skeleton
(essentially lovely bare bones),
when alive I found one gal powerhouse,
(asper the title of this informal homage)
genuinely fashioned, entirely
dutifully composed, benevolently addressed
as an attraction among
the wonders of the
world wide web, confidently enduring,
gracefully immensely known,
mainly not overly prone to quibble
regarding her less outstanding
musical and lyrical confections.

This doggone muttering pooch
bow wows against
nattering nabobs of negativism
able, eager, ready, and willing
bugaboos countering, dispelling, excoriating...
courtesy unsustained denunciations
against latent natural born talents
of aforementioned musician,
whereby pulp magazines make mincemeat
hammering, nailing, and wrenching
storied accomplishments
never yanking off the top of list
of solo women musical artists
who sold the most number one albums.

Before the advent vis a vis
crafting this literary challenge
incorporating a poetic endeavor
predicated on prolific tunes
comprising audiophile of Taylor Swift,
(and thus a prescript interim),
as iterated above,
a whim took hold to string
her partial song playlist
(quite substantial even up to
BUT NOT including the letter “I”).

This scribe dabbled, hocked, and limned
what evolved into a semi satisfactory effort,
to articulate, copacetic, enigmatic, generic,
ironic, kinetic, magnetic, opportunistic,
quixotic, scholastic, ultra democratic,
holistic yik yak paddy whack
give this bard a bon bon.

Adieu admit to elaborating, jovially,
and openly leave readers second guessing,
(what might easily be labeled,
misconstrued, and nullified as gobbledygook),
asper how mashup song titles
got figuratively slapped together
as a feebly note worthy attempt
to put down sew sew pontoon
swiftly tailored literary bridges
in an effort to connect a cumbersome,
fulsome, and irksome pseudo
straight forward itemized songs
sung by said seductive singular sylph..

Thee Mademoiselle found,
or made a place in the world for yourself
aching like a boy out in left field
pining to catch that high fly
there ain't nothing 'bout you,
(nor Brooks and Dunn) I can attest
even if hypothetically,
we spent eons at an all night diner,
where culinary staff knew thee all too well
and perhaps all you wanted
(shared with Michelle Branch)
perhaps positing the rhetorical question –
am I ready for love?

With an American boy
or a ***** best buddy
re: best friend forever with an American girl
if someone got cross, tis beneficial
(in this one republic) to apologize
regardless, whom ye choose as a confidante,
the following refrain plays in your mind
baby don't you break my heart slow
(at least according to Vonda Shepard)
memories no doubt arise,
when thee hapt to be a baby girl

thoughts unspool back to December
beautiful eyes peered
at a fractured reflection
before the love story
would begin again,
while ebbing, and flowing with my baby
recalling Bette Davis' eye
(taking visual delight
fantastic world tour live)
reminding self how better off
the choice made

tis much better than revenge
but umpteen times bother I will
asper boys and love
combustible mix – nonetheless
always reminding myself to breathe
deep, cuz being breathless
likened to a taste of death,
(I admit better than Ezra)
learning how to act points back
asper being brought up that way
lessons oft learned getting busted.

Oh...and by the way can I go with you?

Can you feel the love tonight?

Discern ache kin to sand castles crumbling?

Such granular, or solid state matter
doth forced to change
attested to by chaperone dads,
who dressed as Santa Claus invoked
that Christmas must be something more
especially, Christmases,
when you were mine
ah...closest to a cowboy
as “sigh” ever got
or tasting Gunstock rattlesnake pulverized,

yet countenance goose
(and found you under the care of Chet Atkins
at the make believe medical center)
shivered flesh against cold as you
though desiring thee to come back...he here
no doubt prone
to announce crazier requests asked
even crazier (as demonstrated
by flash mob generated
by Hannah Montana, one live wire)

if able to glean my sentiments...
cross my heart
aware as an adult feeling
the life source of daddy
or mommy, while hinting
with a stone temple piloted cold stare
double dare you to move
(or switchfoot), one to another
das feet – planted within
pitch dark blue Tennessee

dwelling with thoughts
of ma dear Digdan
or writing an imaginary letter
starting...”dear John”
ample melancholy maudlin material
to completely bind a diary of me
yes concert cavorting circumstances
avoidable, though didn't they
make chase like butterflies,
and don't they hate me for loving you?

So please don't tell me you want to,
when I don't want to anymore
argh, yet impossibly unshakable
the recurring thought don't you
act indiscriminately
as when down came the rain,
washed the spied her out
following suit (wet)
drenching yea...one drama queen
with chin amen along pearl
(jammed) harbor drive
(in conjunction with alan jackson)
presaging Jiving drops of Jupiter
(train chugging, clacking, clattering
railing gestalt of alien nation),

and all of a sudden like how odd though...
thinking about eighth grade graduate,
when lifetime seemed enchanted
now everything has changed
eyes open (“hunger games”)
maketh me – fall back on you
instant messaging you –
fall into me fearless,
though only fifteen
and how against pyrotechnics,
you find your way back home
on the fourth of July
perhaps led by a zeppelin sized firefly
ah, I ask myself who is the foolish one?

Me for you forever & always
(a platinum edition)
for girl at home
(donned in deluxe edition)
going bananas
in reference to Amazing Gracie
swaggering, and immune
to gunpowder & lead,
(whose leading lady Miranda Lambert)
whatsapp penned left her looking haunted
heartbreaker – (my words –
like the late Tom Petty)
about her, but unsure
if our thoughts aligned

anyway, here you go again (Dolly Parton)
a hero heroine
so...I clamor to yell out “hey soul sister”
and hey Stephen
along the boulevard of broken dreams,
this ribbon highway don't care
about trumpeting his lies
nor desecrating holy ground
honey baby, yes ye in the mom jeans,
I feel hopelessly devoted to you
(as didst Olivia Newton)
instinctively keen how to save a life
bobbing buoyantly amidst the fray.
blowing 99 red balloons April 9th, 2023
will signal 158 years since Appomattox
plus what would have been ninety sixth birth
of the late Boyce Brandon Harris,
whereby yours truly the biological byproduct
when secular parents of mine
simply following the dictum
constituting be fruitful and multiply.

(Alternately titled always look
on the bright side of life sang
courtesy Eric Idle in Life of Brian)

Armageddon would be morbidly amazing,
concluding (reign of **** Sapiens)
fascinating albeit simultaneously
fantastic, catastrophic boon
dog gull to accompany
(this incognito sans,
spacesuit attired as bugs bunny
foolish faux rabbit, yup you reddit right
with netzero outlook)

amidst others eyed hop along
(like Cassidy) to find
amidst rubble strewn cocoon,
or perchance an arrid extra dry
armed hammer hotmail spelling
unrelenting radioactive
blown humungous earthlinked dune
daffy duck dynasty Don
trumpeting a brave (though

extremely foolish soul) weathering
fierce-some dust bowl
appearing like a ghoulish goon
vis a vis via global sand man
disallowing any inhabitant to be immune
whereat winter days
would mimic (nee far exceed)
those analogous to tropical June
day where nary species

of flora nor fauna,
which latter muffled cry
viz Clair De Lune
barely heard above blindingly pitched
(scoring major lunar home run)
when earth's moon
appeared to be batted,
snatched, and whacked -
piñata like casting
darkness at high noon

this out of other worldly debacle
(viz: a scene of apocalyptic,
cosmic and epic rune
from twilight zone re:
outer limits offsetting
sole millennial Gaia satellite
believed rigged forever)
which end of planetary
status quo came barreling along
sooner than expected, accompanied

by Gustav Holst The Planets
auspicious, eponymous, illustrious... tune
once Luna rung seismically,
titanic ally uprooted, violently wrenched
prior to crash landing at ground zero
rocked and rolled out of orbitz
before careering, and screaming
thru the atmosphere
analogous a full term baby
in utero yanked out of womb.

Though the above dynamic
gigantic jack-knifed nihilistic quantum
spectacular universal wreckage
sans the inner sphere of solar system
(known to mankind,
whose tenancy upon oblate spheroid
viz planet Earth did upstage
when said creature, an outlier),
whence even amidst the early
bipedal hominids didst throve a sage

no event (whether natural
or caused by human error),
would compare neither captcha,
when quaking, roiling, swarming,
teeming masses rage
against the machine
emasculated, jiggered, orchestrated
and wrought one after another
****** war strewn page
onto once verdant terrestrial firmament

no way to measure nor gauge
the depth, length, scope of total
value eradicating any trace
of simian equipage
reducing arrogant, conceited,
egomaniacal, dotage
boot far-fetched
science fiction phenomena would
witness civilization captive
in their own technological cage

more to the point yours truly
self imprisoned barred bard,
(whose fleshy epidermis camouflaged beige)
tricked out with latest futuristic
technological “smart” sophistication
showcasing latest skin tight accouterment
a win for progressive
penal reform champions,
who feel a cannibal (accountable)
to stamp out anthropophage.
Powder milk biscuits helped yours truly,
a Norwegian farmer wannabe feel bold
enough to weather inclement
steady rain which swirled, pooled,
and eddied around rolled
up pant legs skinny ankles, which
immediately felt cold,
though frigid sensation I extolled
before undertow willingly

steadily, and nimbly pulled this former
ace swimmer into watery fold
quelling, relinquishing, and taking
my hard won mettle of gold
earned early in primetime, now
at last...preemptive quiescent salvation
sluiced into unbarred
Davy Jones's locker hold
meeting his maker

yours truly made in fleshy mold
buffer dis future papa gets tubby old
all me eager life possessions
long since donated and/or sold,
thus the final countdown
found yours truly submerged
for no rhyme, nor reason told
as I blissfully headed into the webbed
wide woebegone watery wold.

Whiling away the hours
quintessentially lollygagging
within pristine environs of Bangalore
bushwhacking an arduous chore
preservation, no longer will eyes explore
of course said dreamy forevermore
glorious hoary idyll merely
knowingly, and imaginatively
buzzfeeds capital one desire i.e. alone
in the wilderness penchant – furthermore,

escape madding crowd
thick with village people galore
offload mein kampf bon jure
yaws true well lee washed away
in briny deep pull lore
“FAKE," & figuratively, hypothetically,
ably tipped, gypped,
and drowned ma poor
wet tin his every pore,
this March 21st, 2023

(ewe could Hermes faintly
bleating after mighty roar)
of ocean riptide off back
body electric far from shore,
soaking wet tha top n bot hum
'o me soggy mossy noggin,
wharf fanta seas
waterlogged optima gills, this papa
caught in reverie as stevedore
Immune to the deafening thunder of Thor.
offered, husbanded, and collected
when winning solitaire
Nothing beats that exaltant rush of adrenaline
watching the computer generated cards
automatically routed
to their respective suite (spot)
(after they get turned face value up)
generates countenance to evince a grin.

This heart felt diamond in the rough
gamboling ace of a man
learned to call a ***** a *****
soon after joining the culture club.

Within an alternate universe
another Matthew Scott Harris
destiny manifested beckoned uber lyft,
his militant doppelganger
(created entirely of antimatter
since birth of universe)
decked out in camouflage fatigues,
dead set on collision course
to annihilate each other
if and/or when we inevitably meet.

No place exists for yours truly
to run and hide
especially hermetically sealing
(while waxing poetic) himself
with booking selfsame mortal
within a read (reed) out hideaway,
hence impossible mission
to ward off sealed fate

lest (markedly) both of us
(even if reaching out
to bridge reconciliation)
blown to smithereens
methinks I and mine nemesis
would be wiped out
(cue the Surfaris song titled wipe out)
as if Thanos snapped.

The aforementioned scenario
far more horrifying than
livingsocial within human zoo
where **** sapiens primates,
an aggregate of many
a cruel genealogical yahoo
outliers rowdy unlearned without xue,
an essential constituent
of the body electric kool aid acid test
******* who spout colorful retorts
analogous to up the *****,

but much more explicit,
therefore audiological
viewer discretion advised
unless one feels confident
to cast a magic spell using voodoo
ideally invoking debilitating, horrifying,
lustrating newt trill eye zing
permanent state of danger
or threat accursed
trumpeting lout can never undo
especially when joker is wild

whereat apparatus tricked out
fastening pollexes courtesy thumbscrews
perchance re-evaluating my person
when crafting image
conveying torturous schlock
after ye did pleasantly review
other writings of mine that did skews
toward humanitarian connectedness
painstakingly minding my peas and queues
wracking my brain
regarding creativity to peruse.
Despite what outside temperature registers
(even absolute zero), the official arrival
of spring occurs, when thee eel hip tic
of coe phish hunt holy Mackerel
becomes tangential to barenaked ladies
barren *** hymn tote,
hoochie mama hottie
presenting strip the willow
ova troop of foxy budding
******* nymphs

analogous to motley crew
despite crowded house,
where masterbaiting anglers
blindsiding naive prey
snagging hook, line and sinker
courtesy spanning global network
with marginal kinks
within human league
showcasing webbed wide
electric light orca straw.

No burlesque across the globe
upstages mother nature's emergent style
soundlessly donning and trumpeting
peeping within nook and cranny
delicate plant and animal feelers probe
resplendent metaphorical pregnant Gaia,
whose all encompassing bulging robe
magnificently, albeit modestly evinces
matronly dame parading and sauntering,
she intimates readiness to give birth
regarding multitudinous flora and fauna,
whereby swath groundswell of color
and panoply of sound bursts forth.

A symphony with terrestrial
ecological community, which life forms abound
via natural laboratory qua nature,
especially at seasonal dawn of spring tide,
where multifarious existence can be found
carving out a figurative zoological niche
in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sound
artist palette of rainbow blended sights
assuage auditory and
visual sense pleasures respectively.

No gofundme donation required-
unless ye clamor to proffer expense
(toward fame and fortune
concerning one garden variety
long haired pencil necked geek
to regale sensational experience,
but before further lines get read
please be mindful
to take lock, stock, and barrel
of mine existential sponsor,
thus a brief plugged statement to:

ɢɛȶ ʟɨʄɛʟօƈӄ ɨɖɛռȶɨȶʏ ȶɦɛʄȶ քʀ0ȶɛƈȶɨ0ռ ʄ0ʀ ʟɛֆֆ.

Now back to regularly scheduled program
trying to entrance ye dear reader
incorporating titanic and tectonic processes,
(albeit all natural wonders)
constituting eight ways
to build strong bodies
bred courtesy punctuated equilibrium
nudging advantages to outvie
one living thing
versus another organism.

Winter of our (collective) discontent
(novel of the same name
by the storied John Steinbeck)
alleviated courtesy pagan earth goddesses
prestidigitation delivering cathartic holistic
and poetic botanical balms,
which salve (age long in the tooth)
psychological wounds.

Show stopping stunning performance
stills lovers embrace
long anticipating nonpareil experience,
nevertheless straining credulity
of visual and aural senses,
where collective awed pinterests
silences onlookers evoking
masterpiece rendered still life
among webbed plant and animal species.

Earthy, ******* clad, bombshell nubile
babes, brazen lee, ineluctably, innocently
insouciantly, prominently, promotes pro
pry eh tarry, plus risqué provocative proxy,
trigger numb matt trick functions, as nymphs
doth seductively saunter to approach ever
so close, yet never crosses mine orbit,

but unknowingly teases (like a firecat,
when catch bull struck four), my test
toss tee roan needle swings wildly in
due sing this ordinary system of a down
mellow male to feel doubly breasted,
hair reed kinkily, tongue mortise tenon
facilitating flagellated fortuitous forays,

go win for inflected miniature escarpment,
where groaning pinkish tulips anchored
right at the estuary (nee slippery sluice),
sans self cleaning coven at the intersection
of happy and healthy, heavens to Betsy
bursting provocative cadenzas whence,
mine skipping heart beats long and fosters

fertilizing fecund fresh field, forthwith
fallow paean seeds of life and White Lily
deemed to dein nouns verb
hot ten fruit, no matter
huck cull berry finis wrought twig
and berries sounding off a snap,
crackle and pop goes ma little weasel.
The following binary raw bits
hither and yon to and fro flits
across eyes of unknown reader
handsomely buzzfeeding
dining viz fancy feast
donning while trumpeting
microscopic mitts.

Though yours truly
a zany, wimpy, tiny, and puny
(smaller than a breadbox)
modest nonestablishmentarian Ogre,
whereat my portable minuscule
fingerhut size adobe abode
exposed to Strunk and White raw
grammatical elements of style,
I counted Flip (Wilsonian) view,
to camouflage myself anytime
and anywhere as significant advantage.

The obvious downside
(i.e. severe limitations to pull off
major coup) forced me to axe
paunches pilot while taking a chopper
if I van nah miniaturize daring deed
(done dirt cheap) reconfigured,
retouched, recorded by Das scribe
named Magnum Opus.

Indeed, this chance to go long (equivalent
of Olympic gold) foretold godaddy peering
into granule size barren crystal ball.

Preliminary steps undertaken
to pull off impossible mission;
mo' difficult than a blind man
taking eighty steps to Jonah
infiltrating 70+ shades of gray area
prime Donald Trump real estate.

A priority prevailed to act on
the QT (q-tip) lest cover get blown,
and suspicious communique encrypted
to hire globe trotting henchmen.

Urgency spurred daring deed,
cuz targeted subject in question
majority population counted
as debouched, delirious, and
demonstrably dangerous
demagogue, in short a "FAKE"
forty fifth president!

Security details
(like stray cats on the prowl),
could sniff out ploy to re
program depraved, deranged,
and detached supposed Master
at helm, you Jesse and wait.

His audacity, effrontery,
and isolationist iffy
Oscar the grouch ideology
placed him squarely as half baked
cookie monstrosity against
former United States Commander in Chief.

First order of business necessitated
tranquilizing this doughty, haughty
enemy of the Lumpenproletariat!

Renown chemist friends of mine
(actually Civil War tin
effervescent bubble buddies)
alias Diet Coke and/or Diet Pepsi
secured an ampule Taj Mahal
~ circa 1631 vintage.

One ampule viz pill
could knock out a giant –
sans, Jack and the beanstalk fame.

No ifs, and or bots, the secret
got pulled off without spilling
figurative (jelly) beans.

Once inside auditory labyrinth,
I immediately noticed striking
deus ex machina ***** rioting
resemblance to microscopic cave.

Now follows non sequitur
with rhyme nor reason.

A thick baad a$$ sieve sludge
(vaguely resembling cerumen in consistency)
re: gooey pseudo pulpy secreted material
suctioned courtesy resultant ****** mess
in a near futile attempt
to separate Siamese sistahs
said substance issuing forth
after surgeons meticulous incisions
qualify as unsung heroes
as does illogical senseless segue way
into riff about
Def Leppard amputee drummer
Rick Allen brutally attacked
by human rabid beastie boy
posed an initial dilemma,
which audioslave solution
entailed collaboration to build
a toothpick fence.

Pensiveness unexpectedly found
unwitting subject trying
to comprehend gibberish
attempting to pass muster
as supreme poetic literature
said unsuspecting reader
reflexively scratching, poking,
and jabbing inadvertently
gesticulating at mine doppelganger
finding him listening
for subsequent instructions
from ground zero.
Since adopting the guise
of Norwegian bachelor farmer,
I may as well fabricate genetic stock
lock, and barrel linkedin to Celtic legend.

Sentimentalism invariably swelled me *****
regarding how grown former bonny lad,
essentially mutely surfed, finagled, and coursed
one existential nihilistic wave after another
nearly getting drowned in the process

Any non American English
exotic pronunciations in general
and dialects predicated
with United Kingdom in particular
held me spellbound.

Debate ensues that the term brogue comes
from Irish word barróg, meaning
"a hold (on the tongue),"
thus "accent" or "speech impediment."

An alternative etymology suggested
that brogue means 'impediment,'
and that it came from barróg
which is homophonous
with bróg in Munster Irish.

Saint Patrick's Day, or
Feast of Saint Patrick
Lá Fhéile Pádraig
invoke even non Irish to proclaim
Éirinn go Brách
translated as "Ireland Forever."

Juiced tin he nuff tame afore
thee 2023 Saint Patrick's Day,
(hens this faux written accent
donned to sail hub berate won big todo
fur those peep pull o' Eire rush deuce cent)

aye pretend, and thence make oop
duff fallow wing vary minor event
harkening back e'er sins this generic gent,
hooped tubby imp poet hint wannabe,
(who hapt tubby absent

without leave from Brogue kin home
since a lil whippersnapper, and accident
boot tappin), when me note holler than
garden variety leprechaun, advertisement
tuff hind miss elf, no major ailment -

good red ants tomb ma late mum,
which fair re: creatures, no argument
booth us, iz moar rare than
finding far leaf clover,
and eek will coz fur astonishment

eef hoodlum (caw zing
bedlam) sought atonement
Yukon bull heave or no,
how life on the lamb
as a Dublin street urchin met belligerent

scruffy geezers old looking and bent
till kind ole soul named C. Clement
took yaws truly as apprenticed
Baron without complaint,
though kept ma lidded concealment

secret til search abandoned confident
gnome hissing pipsqueak,
would be sorely missed
giving fresh start with help to coinvent
patois, and be comb real estate magnet

ne'er no wing want oof
basic needs - yea content
in due time making pile
moan hee tall as Taj Mahal
kicking back during Lent

gerrymandering convalescent
old age spinning yarns
for modest copayment
total tubular tales with
nary a Harris Boss Tweed stitch of truth.
Ides simply referred to first new moon,
which usually fell between
the thirteenth and fifteenth day
of a given month.

Smithsonian Magazine history buff
Tom A. Frail
posted March 4, 2010 issue
url = https://www.smithsonianmag.com/
history/top-ten-reasons-to-beware-
the-ides-of-march-8664107/
top ten reasons to
beware the ides of march.

The following events all occurred
fifteenth of March
across span of millenniums.

One: Assassination of fifty five year old
Julius Caesar, 44 Before Common Era
Two thousand and sixty seven years ago
conspirators led by Marcus Junius Brutus
stab dictator-for-life Julius Caesar
to death before the Roman senate.

Two: A Raid on Southern England,
1360 Anno Domini.
A French raiding party begins
a 48-hour spree of ****, pillage and ******
in southern England.

King Edward III interrupts
his own pillaging spree in France
to launch reprisals,
writes historian Barbara Tuchman,
“on discovering that the French
could act as viciously in his realm
as the English did in France.”

Three: Samoan Cyclone, 1889
A cyclone wrecks six warships—
three U.S., three German—
in the harbor at Apia, Samoa,
leaving more than 200 sailors dead.

(On the other hand,
the ships represented
each nation’s show of force
in a competition to see
who would annex Samoan islands;
the disaster averted a likely war).

Four: Czar Nicholas II
abdicates his throne, 1917
Czar Nicholas II of Russia
signs his abdication papers,
ending a 304-year-old royal dynasty
and ushering in Bolshevik rule.

He and his family taken captive
and, in July 1918, executed
before a firing squad.

Five: Germany Occupies Czechoslovakia, 1939
Just six months after
Czechoslovak leaders ceded Sudetenland,
**** troops seize provinces
of Bohemia and Moravia,
effectively wiping Czechoslovakia
off the map.

Six: A Deadly Blizzard
on the Great Plains, 1941
A Saturday-night blizzard
strikes northern Great Plains,
leaving at least 60 people dead
in North Dakota and Minnesota
and six more
in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

A light evening snow
did not deter people from going out—
“after all, Saturday night
meant time for socializing,”
Diane Boit of Hendrum, Minnesota,
would recall—but “suddenly
the wind switched,
and a rumbling sound
could be heard as
60 mile-an-hour winds
swept down out of the north.”

Seven: World Record Rainfall, 1952
Rain falls on Indian Ocean island
of La Réunion—and keeps falling,
hard enough to register world’s
most voluminous 24-hour rainfall: 73.62 inches.

Eight: CBS Cancels
the “Ed Sullivan Show,” 1971
Word leaks that CBS-TV  
cancelled “The Ed Sullivan Show”
after 23 years on the network,
which also dumped Red Skelton
and Jackie Gleason
in the preceding month.

A generation mourns.

Nine: Disappearing Ozone Layer, 1988
NASA reports the ozone layer
over Northern Hemisphere  
depleted three times faster than predicted.

Ten: A New Global Health Scare, 2003
After accumulating reports
of a mysterious respiratory disease
afflicting patients and healthcare workers
in China, Vietnam, Hong Kong,
Singapore and Canada,
the World Health Organization
issues a heightened global health alert.

The disease became famous
under the acronym SARS
(for Sudden Acute Respiratory Syndrome).

Elemental forces of style at large
which indiscriminate merciless whims extant
ask Homer Simpson or Marge
g'head and even tap
a local, county, or state Sarge

gent on the shoulder, cuz
he or she would moost likely agree
that this Month predicated
on The Gregorian calendar me
didst axe Mister Google,
(who **** courtesy enough prithee)
to validate premise about
when Time Construct came a boot re:

(named after Pope Gregory XIII, who
introduced it in October fifteen eighty two)
from that date to present,
the most widely
Attention Network Test (ANT) queue
test used civil calendar,
(though feel welcome to challenge above)
and when brand new
(involved approximately
0.002% correction knew
this margin of error in length
of Julian calendar year) allowing hue

man accurate measurement passage
as days, weeks, months...elapsed
unimportant to the average Joe,
(not quite five hundred years ago)
returning home on his emu
no matter male gendered
wordsmith named Matthew

cuz this flightless fast-running bird dinned,
poe whit lorry yet (wannabe)
nose tubby directed related door sill finned
and after posting blurb held pinned
regarding veracity of information
dog gone harassed primate hoo haint sinned
graced with surname Harris,
and gladly boasts being full of wind

which trivia finds this barred bard
(as iz his usual wont
i.e. digressing ludicrously wayward
from primary cole lord thread)

from initial intent, vis a vis,
how all life forms stretching
within the bounds of quisling
to an affable, convivial, and filial King
Crimson (reddit in the face),
yet knew everything liken ace
that comprised tome base
comprise zing knowledge
booking (to chase
winter blues) at getaway
gracefully re: Bedrock Cave
with proprietors of said place
Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone
offered ample space
to discuss preparations to cope
with onset of infrequent roaring blizzard
(via ominous clouds that didst trace)

plus minimizing setbacks affecting
the then most advanced stone age
during wrathful outbursts from beige
flesh toned gabbing Goddess,
whose gentle giantess goodness,
one could gauge
which genteel manners evident
also asper her page
gave inside information,
how to batten down hatches
while tethered like a puppet
on the then much younger global stage.
At 1330 hours (indicated
courtesy notification slipped under door
less than twenty four hours)
hence foretold ill fate
by property (crooks and quade) management
the head honcho zaftig, ******,
(who replaced the warden)

and Rich (BOLD FACE
text mode) the snitch
at Highland Manor Apartments
re: looming eviction implication
cuz yours truly and the missus
out of compliance
namely unkempt living space
within the walls of apartment b44.

after residing within
said low income facility
going on six years July first
two thousand and twenty three,
we experienced ongoing contention here,
which palpable tension
crackles, pops, and snaps
across the webbed wide world.

Courtesy social media platforms
in tandem with reputable poetry websites
allows, enables and provides
analogous soapbox to vent
after above identified triumvirate
done scrutinizing, interrogating, castigating...

Me and the missus
immediately sprung into action
rather each of our separate nervous systems
underwent uncontrollable bouts
of expansion and contraction,
(where we both
made a beeline for the bathroom)
analogous to severe toothache
necessitating oral surgeon extraction.

One month later - March seventeenth
signals the re: visitation of inquisition
(cue ominous music)
obscure artificial illumination
looming dark shadows
presaging worse fate than death
rivaling close encounters of the third kind
outer limits of the twilight zone
monstrous sinister forbidding shapes
blotting sunlight plunging
highland manor apartment in total darkness.

Hence aforementioned feeble SOS
cuz our rented one bedroom unit
b44 not in ship shape,
thus me and the wife
not happy campers
possibly forced to live in a tent
among bunch of other homeless people
along skidrow,
thus fruitless effort to yield
and appeal to top banana
figuratively precariously perched
on horns of dilemma

spurred me to posit supposition,
whereby sympathy for the devil witnesses
greater likelihood versus wordsmith
unsuccessfully, nevertheless creatively
blindsiding anonymous readers
spellbound to empty ***** nilly
bajillions of dollars
from their pocketbooks
and mail blank checks to yours truly
before coming to their collective
sense and sensibility bound
with pride and prejudice.

The following paragraphs yielded after Google search undertaken to elucidate reader with (our) low income housing facility.

Section 515 Rural Rental Housing
This property has received funding in part through the Section 515 Rural Rental Housing (Section 515) program. Very low, low, and moderate income families, elderly persons, and persons with disabilities are eligible to live at this property. Persons or Families living in substandard housing have priority for tenancy.
Section 521 USDA Rental Assistance
The property participates in the USDA Rural Development Rental Assistance program. This rental subsidy, available only to USDA Section 514, 515 and 516 properties, ensures renters only pay 30% of their adjusted income towards rent. USDA Rural Development Rental Assistance may not be available for all units at this property.
Cuz buzzards circle o'er me
eyeing these lovely bones prithee
id est Roy L. T. Canard, Si
hence impossible mission
to be lovey dove vee.

Vague remembrances of dream  
which recurred with frequency
transfixed by Sir Real majesty
shows me and the misssus evicted.

Hum habitually hiccuping
in tandem feeling woozy
virtually celebrating monarchism
with British Royal Family,
and about eager and ready
to take a snoozy
so please pardon this poet
exhibiting being a lil oozy,
nevertheless yours truly
birthed the following verse
a reasonable rhyme and doozy
considering yours truly tipsy and *****.

Now this raggedy man
whilst deep in sleep
this past night
what felt like galactic body
fell upon ma slumbering heap
affecting immediate fear
lest worst nightmare
viz management boot us
into emotional inferno

felt steel tipped kickstarter,
would crush with might
but lo… heavy weighted body
just zee spouse
plunked herself into zzz land
immediately within unconsciousness deep
that's the husband unable
to recaptcha pleasant dreams
well nigh past midnight.

Unable to shake away drunken stupor
nor defeat insomnia
reliving sinister tête-à-tête
so...rather than emit shrieks
like some angry bird
idea arose to resume completing poem
expressing discombobulated state,
whereby sixty shades
of grey matter feels
similar to thick whey curds
palliative sans restorative power
per rest hopefully clear muddled pate

plagued with grogginess
and marauding herds
of mailer daemons worse
than unsuitable mate
or a world wide web filled with nerds,
thus lethargy purged
via catharsis forming swords
follow rhyming pattern
to convey drowsy tipsy mood,
a synonym for my words.

Noah respite despite eliminating kinks
courtesy arched back from cat nap
as ginned tonic, nor lion here
feline groovy getting high temporarily
spells relief and serve as balm
with pillowed temptress ever near
beckons softly inviting calm
before this human
goes awry and berserk on manic tear
being revisited from haunts
inside head of this wordsmith
caught by men in white coats
coming to take me away
**-**, hee-hee, ha-ha,

to the funny farm
straitjacketing this maniac
wrought with weariness
dark ringed circles around eyes  
showing Adonis long since didst veer
Judas Priest or  
if you prefer heavens to murgatroyd
can't stomach bulge
spills o'er tattered underwear,
whose ***** by the way
once upon a time
about the size of average palm pilot,
yet taut for witnessing
three score plus three mortal year.

This ole goat intoxicated,
plus forcibly locked within
fas paux blinding darkness,
the pitch black common
all purpose room
in disarray after Skyping English fete
at fictional Knock Less Apartments aye
daily encounter, one bewitchingly

hair raising dreaded locked
rooted tension doth amplify
fiendishly horrible, jeeringly loopy,
nippy nap noopy,
pugnaciously ravenous, talon
viciously wizened, xenophobic yeti, zapping
zeroing zillion zippers,
zoned alley bye

barred doors fate helplessly jury-rigged
sealed with plaintive cry;
no escape known to this man caught
in a deadly voodoo clutch,
thus doomed to die
ugly cannibalistic, frightful,
heathen rumors myopic eyes espy
alarmed at feeling trapped

akin to a wingless fly
tapping reserves of scapegoat
coping techniques ingenuity,
which earned me moniker "fall guy,"
where accursed cruel fate destined exit
from getting husked, issued
jagged lance like mandibles "hi
there unknown weekly reader,” I

pray for super leftist
write hand man/woman to extricate
(via whipping up literary poetic fabrication),
then joining me to sing jai
(let victory prevail against killer odds)
perhaps summoning division
of British shiver rights phalanx,
hood reply with Hackneyed "oh kai"

springing surprise rescue,
sans swooping inside
mine hermetically faux invisible prison,
where this troubadour doth reside,
yet realistic to accept my
demise without putting up
a good fight well nigh
against inevitable mortality

(out maws of death)
gleefully depriving grim reaper
death his domain and
eventual unavoidable claim,
but if such kind unaccustomed soul
can cushion the blow of penury...
vis a vis philanthropic treatment
manifested as deliverance  

courtesy anonymous altruistic benefactor
plucking one bard
off downward slippery
precipice of homelessness,
ye will be rewarded with apple pie
ala mode enjoying a Quai,
yet moment with
Holden Caulfield doppelganger
made famous qua Catcher in the Rye.
Ah...a flood of memories wash over
this anointed Goatama Boo Da,
whose respected G.O.A.T status
among generic green acres,
which swathed across Highland Manor
analogous to petty coat junction
showcasing, jumpstarting and donning
a bright towering bewitched kid
barren regal deportment
proudly trumpeting himself
as Maga hatted apprentice
being mentored courtesy this ole buck,

where attendant goatherd didst ha
intimate diddly squat,
hence never did expect me
(an adept harried style swiftly tailored
windswept teary eyed pundit)
sentimentally woke evincing
young whipper snapper
metamorphosed into chargé d'affaires
exceeding wildest expectations
to apply goatee
to dab moistened eyes ma
lament tab lee recalling blissfully innocent
kickstarter libidinal oomph pa.

As a kid, this now middle aged old goat
silently bends back disbudding head
as if noggin didst float;
bleats, and thence
blinks back tears to emote,
asper remembrance of things past,
when me papa and late mama didst dote
via gently grooming my tattered raggedy coat
whereat patches of missing fur reveals bloat

head distended abdomen
no longer evinces picture
of mine prime head butting days
when unchecked chutzpah, daring do,
and exploratory forays
found this then runt
strayed far from the madding crowd
upon verdant fresh fields I didst graze
and sought out secluded cool shelter
from hot, humid summer haze,

where abundant bucking bronco energy
resorted, succumbed and tugged via natural
sluggish inertia and predilection to laze,
and oft times dreamt being trapped
within some M. C. Escher maze
given up for lost or...,when
n'er a reply from plaintive bleats,
whence upon awakening
bestowed ablutions to Billy Gotti goat,
(Latin Name Capra aegagrus hircus)
unstinting praise

groggy state elapsed with pleasant waft
of cooler August air
cloven hoofs confidently, gingerly,
and jerkily strode to espy clear
panoramic view when 'ere
afar off in the distance,
an indistinguishable glare
to view scenic
quintessential picture dis interfere

foretold a recognized
landmark comprising around
perimeter defined areas
hosting happy hustings
(no...not hustling) ground
encompassing accrued memories
to date within storied mound
caching predominantly pleasant
bouts of playtime, when siblings pound
for Avoirdupois pound
raced each other observed
by Mister Sun at his coterie of sound
clouded pillowy cerulean
celestial garden, which
helped get tension unwound.

Now while doddering, hobbling,
and limping with *** leg
(Battle of the bucks him
Boar skirmish) in old dote age,
which declining physical well being
restricts shenanigans akin
to limiting an artist prohibited
to paint with the color beige
to an ever shrinking unseen cage
soon...t'will be sent out to pasture,
whence concluding stage
of existence paid with demise
collected by grim reaper,
who only accepts deceased
as sole (soul surviving) standard wage.
in Pennsylvania will begin at 2:00 AM
on Sunday, March twelfth
and moost likely will impact
min-née-ute effect on me
a run of the mill on the Floss
amazingly gracefully aging
long haired pencil necked geek,
who welcomes increased photons.

Just moments ago, a dawning realization
arose within this sol son begat
from ma late mother
and then (when following poem written)
octogenarian widower father,
(me papa passed away
since date this poem written)
oh..no nothing cat
tuss strophic, boot merely the revelation,
how fist bumping
dee clocks hour hand ahead
remembered by dat

dog gone refrain
spring ahead, and fall back,
this unemployed chap
doth down play eclat
attests that his quotidian
schedule minimally affected
holed up here in Highland Manor named flat
roomy enough for thyself, the Missus,
and buzzfeed ding fruit flies
each fuzz beating insect
approximately the size of a gnat
a minor nuisance, though tolerable
within this appealing habitat

where minor inconvenience experienced
by this Schwenksville, Pennsylvania resident
cuz as a recipient
of social security disability
(social anxiety) this psyche didst get rent
which fixed (unearned) income budgeted
and predominantly costs
of living money spent
hence no need to arise
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
a freedom akin

to festive folks camped out in a tent,
which exemption immunizes
this doodle ling middle aged
muddle brained chap subject ranting
early morning drivers,
who angrily, frenetically,
and splenetically rant and vent
thus, the tendency, piquancy, and lunacy
to twitter (for the Yardbirds),
and keep company
with night owls, who went
a hooting for all the world wide web

to hear, whence straw dawgs Bach,
the exact number of hours, yer oblivious
to the tight rigorous mortised schedule
manned by Mister Clock,
essentially foisting on bread winners,
an abstract artificial construct spurring
madcap commuters to scurry in the rat race,
lest tardiness could cost
more than ham iz zone whole paycheck
(to ap pier with permanent dock
hue ment aye shun),
an unwonted blot add hock

king worry about getting canned -
i.e. on permanent furlough,
perhaps forced into a life of crime,
yet if caught...
courtesy strapping ****
wasting away in a jail cell
as warden turns the lock
one redeeming factor,
would offer opportunity to mock
management, and more pertinently
mandate to rock
and roll to the incessant muted,
yet devastatingly loud tick tock.
Mar 2023 · 170
The howling winds of March
Furious gusts of air
mightily blow bestirring anchored poet
sitting comfortably numb
securely strapped in his hard to maneuver
easy bath chair
while all around him debris
strewn helter skelter everywhere
heavy objects unmoored
pirouetting topsy turvy

defying laws of physics
cue Adam Smith
courtesy his invisible hand
eulogizing, kickstarting, and regulating
unseen cogs and gear
in order to avoid being plucked up
analogous to whirling dervish
ye dear reader best don
top of the line name brand ironware

to fend off soundcloud
analogous to webbed
whirled wide rooky banshee
hounding kingly bishopric
inducing royal knightmare
whereat pawns called play
as damage control representatives
ultimately linkedin to medicare
for ****** harm suffered

and property destruction
doled out courtesy Nationwide Insurance,
nevertheless yours truly
experienced heightened anxiety
cuz I accidentally, casually, easily,
et cetera eavesdropped,
though a polite gentleman (boot no scholar)
loud talking policyholder
anyone could easily overhear

their strident vocalizations
and they owned chutzpah to queer
re: me for listening to conversation
threatening with abominable language to scare
living daylights, which nearly caused
writer of these words
to soil his underwear
such vociferous threats
wrought quick thinking defense posture,

whereby my ordinary shy demeanor
empowered after downing
powder milk biscuits
(cuz heaven's their tasty)
and declaring warfare
against being bullied
versus suffering as token scapegoat
most every year
from boyhood until emerging adulthood.

After crafting above lines
current generated via whoosh;
I sat mine hind quarters
(otherwise referred to the ****),
which signalled to Doctor Quackenbush,
(id est Groucho Marx)
not deficient with quick wit
whose hook, line and sinker
word of the day namaycush
helped one environmental ******
high (fish) tail to Hindu Kush
where removal from madding crowd
spiritually inoculated one
with a profound hush.
With mighty mouse and Hercules height
tried to retrieve sanity spread loose;
a faded unpleasant memory - even enlisting
decades old cartoon characters:
Natasha squirrel and Bullwinkle moose
flow of electrons the best-concocted juice
since the convection
of white bread or couscous
for without Fios, light and heat
the slow strangle via an invisible noose

gripped this bantam weight
hen pecked papa -
who tried to peruse
Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy
while buried under
blankets and towels - Toulouse
any and every molecule of heat,
yet frigidaire within abode
(technically about 455 degrees Fahrenheit)
went with Brad and Ray,
boot did not go vamoose.

Thine recollected diatribe
analogous to a rite of initiation
thru fraternity gauntlet -
no, not necessarily atchew
anyway, I sure hope ***** remission
asper any offal debacle choking bugaboo
which once malignantly plagued
your body, mind, spirit
as fowl existence doomed matt chew
for when countless full moons ago,
the force o mother nature drew

whipped out her scimitar,
where chaos such as
power n telephone outages flew
sweeping across bulwarks,
drawbridge over troubled waters,
and ramparts whereby
huge limbs and wires
Ole man winter with
a jude dish hiss punch did hew
indiscriminate to gentile or Jew
or one necessitating answering a call

to deaf ack ate while atop the loo,
cuz such fate occurred there
at previous residence
DCCXXIV Railroad Ave n new
where the lack of heat or phone service
induce sing expletives stronger than poo
but...during the blackout,
this papa read by flashlight huddled
under mildewed layers of clothes
n bland kits, and did rue
how susceptible n vulnerable society

to whims of natural faw iz - tis true
at least in my view,
whence this generic human
predicted he would become
apprised as fossilized,
immortalized, and ossified,
thence accidentally discovered
millenniums in future,
hence as frozen petrified representative
per twenty first century,
where wily fox prudent terrestrial realtor.

Now that yar brow didst I scrunch
possibly goot dealt
a similar meteorological punch
thus possibly lack king
for electricity i.e. the life source energy,
this then mister mom,
and taxi dad supposed back up hunch
hove (at that time)

two prepubescent darling daughters -
oft times thrilled as punch
to kibbutz with during lunch
when dire circumstances
imposed spurious silliness
to fritter away time –
for measly grueling fodder,
earmarked, ****** cold brunch.

Twas and still Liz
a blessing social networks
allowed, enabled and promoted literary trait
virtually contrived acquaintances of yore,
and usually visa vis discovery
(though transient got me I rate)
hull reflect on technological
modus operandi back
before bachelorhood complemented
and supplemented mein kampf

with an affectionately loving mate
many years, and even of late
though amity, comity
and felicity nestles this roost stir,
whose then newlywed bride
that's my wife, he DOTH no longer hate
and communicate emotions
across the whirled wide web
(i.e. - this example
between yourself and me) -

Noah intent to grate
now, internecine warfare usually all calm
on the western front
from hellish, gory figurative
ball of wax bollix
engineering denizens of fate
in tandem with banshees, gremlins,
and jinns out the box of Pandora rollicked
their elements of Strunk and White,
and pandemonium they did fiendishly create.
Fictional account related
courtesy one pink flamingo.

Aves lusting for verboten tweet
reed lubricious sin after giving
Twiggy another peck on the cheek.

Whenever this birdman
alone with his thoughts
(as they metaphorically
worm their way to my nest
of quintessentially straggly,
and uncombed matted hair),
I doth twitter tomb
eye self unbeknownst that
a flock of seagulls fly
like an eagle twittering

morning mister magpie
while dipping and diving
on peregrine wings fluttering
at the speed of sound owls
watching without giving hoot
unless aware someone maliciously
poisoning pigeons in the park,
(one doubting thomas - leering)
perhaps a lunatic ranting and raven
whooping crane like, whooshing

to rise like a Phoenix, yet grudgingly
accepting fate as a stool pigeon,
even settling with destiny
as the cutty wren, a lark
ascending, pontification asper
observations of a crow keeping beak
clamped shut surreptitiously scrutinizing
the ostrich (with her/ his head
buried in the sand), or noticing
how the sparrow looks up

at the machine, which appears
to by an audio device issuing
the thieving magpie overture
alight with such braggadocio
and effecting a birds eye view
of determining contrasted
with the ugly duckling left friendless
and instantly bringing to mind
that somber tune when doves cry
setting the impossible to shake off

feeling emotionally caged,
though with utmost exertion muster
humming when the red red robin
comes bob bob bobbin along eager
to join a whir thee claws such
as when the swallows come back
from Capistrano (with an un spa
beak able aromatic deliciously
decadent Reuben manwich –
an American hot sandwich
composed of corned beef, Swiss cheese,

sauerkraut, and Russian dressing,
grilled between slices of rye bread)
interestingly enough the vicinity
wheresoever eagles gather
all the while wondering
if woody woodpecker, now a free bird
(after aphid david imbroglio) –
an accusation where plaintiff
accused of feathering the nest -
did tern out favorable, or whether

the filed aphid dove hid –
juiced when the believed
by this American avocet and done,
an unexpected eggs add jure
rated claim fed the media,
and seedy shenanigans
Toucan entire troops of Archaeopteryx
to placate all parties concern,
that **** er end
finally delivered peace plover.
The following constitutes a rather
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling ***** in an attempt to escape...
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy duty spring cleaning.

Twas the bright idea of zee missus aye air
and dedicate this poem
(yes tis correct, if you bare
lee remember this mister
did formerly she push lee duck clear
addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster” endear
ring - for obvious reasons,
and before she begat two 'ere
rip press ably lovely daughters),

anyway thee wife I fear
to publicize contracted a benign
strain sans incurable glare
ring housecleaning malady;
thus far no unpronounceable hair
raising name affixed
to non contagious condition, nevertheless
accursed malady,
whereby to keep her
from auctioning me on eBay,
I squarely hide in root cellar.

She frenziedly scrubbing stubborn stains
from clothes, dishes,
and gamut of hibernating
Oryctolagus cuniculus domesticus
horde (nee motley crue)
entrapping scampering dust bunnies
that come breathing alive
nsync with beastie boy
city rollers culture clubbing babes
upon first spring day
engrossed in this, that,

or some other sweeping floor foray
(analogously to Velveteen Rabbit)
shedding fifty shades of gray
winter coat when warmer temperatures arrive,
where humongous fur clumps would lay
comprising sudden empty raft
of shelf space minus a may
zing globules, oh...lemme get on track,
whence frenzied fever
"cleaning bug" nee
major virus afflicting wife,  

would necessitate impossible task
strapping former feisty Norwegian farm gal
in straight jacket livingsocial every
would be no game to play
24/7 daily challenge devious skullduggery
Smokey and the Bandits
an imp posse sub bill
outlaw gang, who lived
like Aristo curr Rats along the quay,    
which unpredictable timeframe

boot tiring and cruel task
of her life Yukon say
thine remaining lifetime,
that's my wife oye vey
would frank lee zapping
every last oomph of mine
if able twin door remaining with spouse
meanwhile 'till she obviously
plucks persistent sprouting stranded follicle
tiller broad forehead resembles
a minuscule tarmac way.

Though far fetched, not impossible
for me and Joe Six
Pack to become one and the same
since a concerned counterpart
contributes to the mix
cuz, she waves a scolding gold finger
dying with craven craving for sweet licks
to grace tastebuds longing
to savor and dissolve sucrose
in any one of the natural
or synthesized combinations
in an effort whose memory
of a washboard tummy
doth hunger for youth afflicts

recent embarkation since maintaining a diet
of exercise no more pesky heeding "yo dude"  
(you look like a lady),
the inner fitness maven against
temptation of high caloric junk food
and nightly snack king
on a flexible fitness routine,
this lxiv aged body electric feels good
these myopic eyes and
well-calibrated hands measure less dense hood-

winking *****, that if I feigned being
a "bared naked lady" -
asper this chest lewd
city in reference to "man *****"
that seemed to materialize overnight
now appear to decrease as well
that unwanted "love handle,
this chap more inclined
tubby in a greater mood
to parade around

this non-crowded house shirtless
AND definitely NOT in public,
BUT no weigh Jose
would this generic guy go completely ****
cuz being self-consciousness of my physique
might prompt outsiders
to consider me a *****
and even during closed bedroom door
****** exploits deter me tibia rude
fellow (with average go daddy long legs)

and my dangling dipstick smallish
(concluding biology *******)
a chap worthy tube he more endowed,
though gratitude proffered
to same divine cosmic consciousness
but as the year's pile up appreciation
of functional faculties alter matts' at tee 'tude
accepting physical characteristics
more or less static
*** ping believe mass elf ya wood.
Grisly horror jawbones Kristallnacht
totalitarian brandishes, flaunts, launches
global threat half cocked.

Vladimir Putin itching
to loose nuclear bomb
end of the world scenario ofttimes
iterated throughout history
though an atheist (actually Unitarian),
no doubt this, that or another psalm
countless times the Bible
references Armageddon and doomsday
impossible mission to remain
cool, collected and calm.

Whether affiliated with donkey or elephant
Democrat or Republican viz
blue war red respectively
political hot issues don't amount
to a (Sam) hill of beans
when Sword of Damocles count
approaches zero hour
as global tensions mount

signaling increased chance
trigger finger will free
avast nuclear winter
(across world wide web) re:
leasing plethora, pyrocumulus
mushroom clouds tree

mend us planetary explosions
annihilating webbed wide
world, an irrevocable
indeed earthlinked debacle
spelling widespread species
multitudinous extinction
ex post de facto after super
bowling powers (wannabe) vied

to wrest empowerment spanning
entire realm sans third rock
from the father, sun and holy ghost,
who turned substantial pockets
of flora and fauna
once populating oblate spheroid ad hoc
significant swaths of life forms
pulverized and/or turned to ash
transformed into radioactive wasteland
giving T.S. Eliot a run for his money
after war mongers brash
lee usurped hegemony
(ruling inhabitants
of Gaia with an iron fist
with a smidgen of flavoring
courtesy of Missus Dash

superfluous taste enhancer,
when sibling burnt offering views
between Venus and Mars incendiary
tolled mourning news
smithereens sole remnant
poisoned every square inch
from weapon of mass destruction

that did cruise
engendering thick noxious fog
disabling fox but not cockroach
while smoldering seas and continents

skull and crossbones didst poach
amidst the gasified, liquified, pureed
where holographic ghoulish super bowl coach

rendering lifelessness home for menagerie
where virtue trounced vice as organisms
(particularly one primate) didst try
(predominant 21st century simians)
tool heave with amity, comity, and empathy
animals and plants an experiment
that went awry

presaging a nuclear winter with nary a winner
implicating mankind as the absolute sinner
instantaneously after Doomsday Clock
signaled point of no return
where grim reaper the sole grinner
feasting on human flesh for dinner.
Feb 2023 · 146
Struggle to write
Witnessed courtesy the following poetic sight
especially when dark shadows foretell edge of night
twilight zone expanding
into outer limits of width and height
obscuring webbed wide world
subsequently where black tentacles alight.

This poetic prologue feeble exercise to encapsulate commonplace frustration experienced by fledgling author evidenced by spurious poem dredged up below decks foregoing full sentences, which will resume reflections being hobbled to cobble words together, when yours truly tries his darndest to re-captcha fleeting idea or sentiment.

Minimal productiveness
as hands of time issue silent tick tock
resultant rhyme without reason mere schlock
conceding intelligence on par with rock
consanguinity quite evident
versus key difference
when affliction named agraphia doth lock
stock and barrel creative juices
resounding, resonating, and resolving

into echo chamber with hollowness when
upon noggin of scapegoat bully doth knock
impossible mission to fend off badass ****
whereby yours truly envisions
fanciful day dream lazing a boat on the dock
carefree mindset disallows watching clock
repudiating, spurning, and thwarting
thee dilemma of writer's block
deliberating calling ghost writer ad hoc

One former bohemian rhapsodizes (and a young bare cub at Antioch to boot), now prosaically expounds courtesy lengthy epistemological expressing difficulty to craft complex literary edifice applying building blocks of English language in a fitting manner that does justice to said lingua franca giving liberty to leaping lizard thoughts that dart to and fro, hither and yon within the windmills of my mind.

Rather than censor or edit, I pour out at rapid fire rate, the notions (ala kingly brainstorm) that flit thru me  noggin when first staring at the black and white screen, sometimes eyes remain closed to help initiate the process to summon forth this, that, or another just barely perceptible concept; the task less difficult when the topic provided, which preconceived subject narrows focus into figurative box.

When provided specific issue to write about
the effort still arduous to gather plethora of
disparate points aware near infinite number
of directions discourse in question
could take this, that or another route,
whereby any path could lead to a dead end
with impulse to yank inkwell and spill spout
all over manuscript,
a Rorschach work of art to tout.

Countless trials and errors entail exploration
to the near state of physical exhaustion
where each logical conclusion finds pensive
fellow inextricably entangled within his own
thicket of unprintable verbiage.

Would you dear reader believe a/or accept
eureka moments arise stealthily as cats crept
unexpectedly and inconveniently when I
get situated on toilet and whole paragraphs
tumble into consciousness pell mell faster
than bowels expelling ****** waste matter
from derrière except
Macbook Pro in other room kept
safe and sound against accidents
if mishap occurred resident Kuni Lemel
would be convulsing with grief as he wept.
Feb 2023 · 122
I hate robocalls!
Inxs of recorded messages  
transmitted automatically
to my telephone number
by automatic dialing device.

I turn off **** ringer,
and disassemble (carefully
as disabling a time bomb)
internal workings nevertheless...
telephone still buzzes
twenty four seven
eight days a week
automated telephone calls
digitally recorded message
perfectly spoken English

differentiation to distinguish
"FAKE" simulation
all bot impossible
totally immune to escape
gagging hospitable invective
electronic jawboning immunized
against antipathy, cruelty, enemy,
hostility, insecurity, pleasantry
Yukon run to tallest mountain
dive into Mariana Trench

get catapulted into
outer limits of twilight zone,
yet NEVER be free and clear
getting wirelessly zapped
with visual ad audiological
offal dregs and spam
(minus the green eggs)
oh... yes even after life,
while weightlessly
pinwheeling in limbo,

particularly during eternal sleep,
when dead souls repose
six feet deep
or corpse undergoes cremation...
yepper, infiltration into atomic core
blithely battered, jimmied,
cherry lee pitted, tweaked,
worse fate than return of Zombies
electrical essential existential
incorporeal surreal auditory ordeal

spurs indiscriminate human
to relish golden silence
spawning best selling novel
to flesh out fiction
Utopian treasured island story
winning unknown author
instant acclaim and glory
describing village people
livingsocial, free and clear
without annoyingly,

egregiously, infuriatingly,
maddeningly, quaveringly
vexing, nauseating, disrupting
blitzkrieg courtesy aggravating
trumpeting autonomous programs
hijacking brainstorming concentration
thwarting aim tug get back on target
(even when carrying on camping)
sundering coalescence
regarding colonizing black screen

aborted doomed genesis
of brilliant fleeting idea,
contributes to conspiracy theory
linkedin with ghost calls
thus one smart
generic garden variety
longfellow forced to
grovel along boulevard
of broken dreams
on a green day.

Any resemblance between above
hyperbole and living person
asked courteously by his name
of the human league,
I police tell the caller
purely coincidental!
Feb 2023 · 158
Remorseless sweaty palms
despite being prescribed glycopyrrolate.

Though the angst riddled psyche of mine crafted youth, long since receded, ebbed in the past, infringement, impingement, and indecent wracking wrath of mental illness, that even as a middle aged mwm of lxiv bold faced roam min times, I can acclimatize, characterize, empathize, harmonize, italicize, and massage sympathy for prevailing physiological symptoms of  =>

Sweaty Palms
an ur...bane curse
worse than mega death
aggravating enough fo' me
to resort *** take or ****
speed dilly, and then not
getting ticked off watching Seth
Thomas - thee clock man
ewe fact chore er, and his hands
incrementally inch to...
regarding the aforementioned
relentless frenzied state.

No idea when the chronic onset
of sweaty palms first burst forth
upon thy totally tubular
handsome grooves that criss cross
the flat skin surface of my hands.

These lines called 'palmar flexion creases'
develop before birth.

This modern day bipedal hominid i.e. human
primate attests (like the average person)
two main lines across the palm,
but some have a single 'Simian crease'.

Profuse outpouring of perspiration
(as if Biblical Flood gates opened)
oft times directly related to adrenaline
coursing through every pore
sans the underside of my hands)
reflexively followed by swiping
said clamminess (in vein)
on clothing or woolen pocket size cloth
brought along with me everywhere I go
(cuz a lamb might not part ways with mother
Mary (of story book fame),
and this chap would shear lee feel sheepish
toting extremely cumbersome
to tote in the event this intimation
predicated on decades worth of experience,

when in the throes potential
such ordinary action strongly shaking,
grasping or holding hands took place
occurred sopping wet
clangorous human clapper,
(which frenzied trickling akin
to a vicious feedback loop),
my psyche feels under staccato
rat-a-tat siege from an
unknown invisible enemy),
the natural inclination
to withdraw myself
from bad company of others helps
stave of self-consciousness.

This avoidance of socialization
subsequently impedes any promotion
of a hankering viz genuine friendship,
employment and desiring carefree
bona fide affectionate
bonding with family of origin and/or
thy two precious progeny.

Understandable per the human reaction
to shrink away and recoil quickly
when pressed to touch
what feels like a wet noodle.

Ah…courtesy of Google
I now know sweaty palms sports
a dignified name known as palmar
Hyperhidrosis.

Here all along (meaning the majority
of my LXIV chronological
hash tagged buzz feeding
orbitz around the sun)
this plague constitutes
a bona fide medical condition.

Also reassuring to realize,
this generic guy need not
count himself alone
in the sopping wet wilderness re: this plague.

Such problematic health condition
impacts, comprises, and affects
one to two percent of the world’s population.

One Doctor Rafael Riesfeld
purportedly knuckles down
and makes hand over fist handsome income.

Will power alone seems
a dauntlessly futile endeavor
to rid oneself of this disruptive condition.

Try as one might to put a lockdown
on the propensity for sweat glands
(synonymous with the term eccrine)
are pack within sub surfaces of
hands, forehead and feet.

As linkedin to the sympathetic  
nervous system, the body electric
under stress activates said glands.

Profuse moisture dripping
like a faulty faucet
severely affected everyday activities
of my existence since a young adult.

Frustration to complete a simple task
such as opening a doorknob,
using the laptop, and even writing
concomitantly associated
with droplets of water soiling  
green sleeves to appear near saturated.

Without fail interpersonal ambitions
hi-jacked when wet as a dishrag hands
found me disinclined
to experience social rejection.

Though sprung from overactive
predisposition to anxiety, these secret
tory organs get exacerbated
with the honorable privilege of
being gifted with panic attacks,
offers little consolation.

your prospective clammy handy dandy
blues clues budding friend
where chocolate candy
melts in my hands not my mouth.
Feb 2023 · 117
Bartender Oh Bartender
(a stout rendition of O Captain! My Captain!
Perfect rhythmic rhyme with tonic
when the doth ale).

Mine eyes espy the glory per the ending
of another work day beckon Baileys Irish Creme
with Absolut certainty that Fireball named Brandy
the Patron Crown Royal abets dream
quest proof positive to expunge stressful Boss
distilling this cooked Grey Goose a gleam
with nary a clue how my ceaseless toiling efforts
play within the lager corporation scheme
assigning exemplary skills and talents within
what appears to be a ******* up losing team.

No exit out this grueling
twenty first century rat trap
when The Chips Are Down,
whereby Scotch chief en gin that air
except to drawn displeasure
and wallow in sorrows
downing ***** or house brand beer
despite  drunken state
erodes axons and synapses
snap like chattering teeth of broken gear
quickly cause tenuous grasp on queasy reality,
sanity, and tenacity rent asunder and tear.

Now that work day done
at long last, not a moment
to tally date with Jack Daniels to delay
this linkedin the conga line wants to wash away
sounds of barked orders *** bling – may
king me insides writhing
with anger as if type cast
in diabolical formidable, horrible play
whereby each active scene increases assistance
for Johnny Walker to glide and sashay.

Argh, how those last remaining minutes to escape
hubbub tick away at the pace of a snail
to these myopic eyes, which suspect manager
surreptitiously turns back clock hands male
lush hiss lee deliberately toys with sanity, thus
seek counsel from Jimmy Beam without fail
when super tramping head honcho will cease
cheap trick renouncing cruel act with ale.

Without schmaltz, Hops, skips and jumps
inebriation welcomes me by rendering taps
receding thoughts of being bound, cramped,  
and emulsified in dark cubicle Schnapps
as if invisible taut cord tears into virtual tatters
and this life of Wry lee loosed like *****
from shredded material trailing a tail that
rivals tales of Aesop's.

That  ambler liquid of the gods soothes palate
and tongue helps a  comfortably numb
feeling to settles within thine body electric
dulling the senses with heavy eyelids plum
met to close shut tight riding the wave of ecstasy,
reflecting about dad and late mum
though come the morrow, a hangover with
sensation akin to Gunter Grass
loud internal tin drum.

Upon rising sober with total amnesia sans
pandering as a buffoon
realizing fallacious gimcrackery while ensconced
in fermented cocoon
an email fried off from the top dog quickly
reminded yours truly how I did goon
off the rails, perhaps cuz of living within
a trackless caboose
August sized wife named June
adept at belting out
and playing Claire de lune.
The following fictitious poetic vignette attempts a feeble tale of one ordinary day in life of anonymous miscreant.

"I don't give a ****
about my bad reputation."

I haint never done nobody no harm,
nor did any animals
(code word for other gang members)
get injured or killed
in the making of a video
(our lingo for done deal).

A decoy police officer
(one named Sergeant Smart)
pretended to be a drug dealer.

Turf wars made clear
the domain each mini kingpin oversaw.

Our base, which included
drop outs, whose parents
did not give a fig whether
their son lived or died
(got pitiless date with death)
drove motive to act truant
or commit a serious violation
warranting expulsion
generated a buzzing business
for social services field attending minors.

Thus here we were at our "den",
when this officer (dressed
in plain clothes) wanted some
(even just a dab) smack.

One badass dude of this pack
nicknamed "Hen Owes"
usually tried to "sniff" out trickery
when a new bro showed up out of nowhere.

Me and the boys could “feel vibes”,
and sense an infiltrator, sleuth,
or simply traitor,
(which last mentioned
a real impish whinny *****),
when we immediately see him.

Between ourselves, we exchanged
specific non verbal signals
if someone ratted on us.

Thar haint nuttin worse getting duped.

A posse member
(if found out got pole axed for revenge).

Usually the beans already spilled
with a caper on our tail,
but the ragamuffin who tattled
would pay with his life.

At this instance, I felt trapped.

No doubt flaunting law groupthink
and figurative cohesiveness
exhibited obvious signs of defeat.

Once no escape in the cards,
each "coyote" barked, howled,
and jabbered like any other teenage punk
when outsmarted by authority
decorated figure head honcho.

A hair brained simultaneous idea
lit up all our brains too ****
this menacing enforcer of the law.

As if on cue, the beefiest beastie boy
sucker punched, and pistol whipped,
and kicked in the groin this ******,
who lied thru his teeth.
      
They all did!

We knew that.
    
The unmarked car
the mutilated body mortally wounded
with a couple/few token gunshots
for good measure got stuffed
in the trunk of the vehicle.

Already headquarters triggered
the slain global positioning satellite
to track location of this rookie.

We subsequently found out,
he attended the same hell hole high school
some years before we
plugged, plotted, planned
to bomb the **** building
to kingdom come.

Since the moniker
"bad company" linkedin
to every f**k'n trouble
maker and threat
to other students in general
and homicidal maniacal
reputation in particular,
thus gave us bragging
(cachet **** reputation)
rights in this underground
world wide web of all gory
blood lust and violence.

Live to be freely mean and die,
or a nasty, short and brutish life
found most every day a shooting gallery.

A temporary bond meant nothing,
(or meeting the barrel of a gun)
if a turncoat wielded a loose silky tongue
spoiling opportunities
to mow down another body.
noticeably decreases in one direction.

I take lock, stock and barrel
to revisit good ole days of yore
quite conscious undeclared state of war
prevails within body electric of troubadour
now seated at his Macbook Pro
another reasonably rhyming poem
I hope to score
signalled by satisfaction
qua eye of the tiger doth roar
today February 18, 2023.

Since January thirteenth of this year
(two thousand and twenty three),
yours truly suddenly feels
long in the tooth (actually
I wear dentures), nevertheless
yours truly languishes within
self made prison and feels auld,
a shy person, who rarely exhibited bold
lack the benefit of powder milk biscuits,
he whose decrepit body and

gnarled hands ice cold
rigor mortis virtuous vice grip extolled
inoculated against coronavirus
(COVID-19) motherlode
staving off silent grim reaper
swinging scythe catching
(in Old English, scythe spelled siðe)
another mortal into his fold
analogous to discovered vein of mined gold
mine lovely bones clutched in deathly hold

ore yonder church bell knolled
anonymous sexagenarian
(any strong resemblance between said poet
whose dead head lolled),
and once living person purely coincidental)
death and decay, I lichen to mold
scant personal possessions outsold
to highest bidder courtesy
subtle nod auctioneer told
across webbed wide wold.

Dead weatherbeaten and fatigued soul
with absolute zero regret
no longer being alive,
especially when endurance and stamina
took kamikaze nose dive
formerly buzzfeeding
desiccated honeycomb hive
where I bumbled along

and learned how to boogie woogie and jive
in tandem with former anxiety riddled psyche
need no longer worry
his existence perfect example
how hardship did misthrive
death be not proud penultimate quest
since adolescence (think anorexia nervosa)
he did (unsuccessfully) strive.

At long last... beastie boy attained nirvana
routing hellish existential crisis
courtesy earth, wind and fire
rendered null and void celibate journey
knight in shining armor
forever staind and tarnished
compliments verboten extramarital whoopie.

Herewith I forthwith take poetic license
linkedin to long line of mamas and the papas
whose music died
when passenger(s) violently perished
courtesy flaming inferno
analogous to Le(a)d Zeppelin 129
christened Hindenburg.

Along similar blurred lines
foo fighter manned ****** temple pilot
Jefferson Airplane qua Starship
gracefully and slickly
deliberately maneuvered crash test dummy
immediately annihilated upon impact
smack dab into puddle of mudd,
yet lo and behold as a foreigner
and survivor yours truly eluded dire straits.

Oz (zee oz born during
baby boom generation)
and suppose during
whirlwind Kansas tour,
while snatching forty winks
in toto working out kinks,
I experienced revelation
regarding divine creator - Egypt me
never securing life, liberty

and pursuit of happiness
elusive weltanschauung as understanding,
the mysterious Sphinx,
yes essentially zilch joie de vivre
minus high jinks
aptly summarizes mein kampf methinks
my life and hard times,
whereby vitriol pelted me
courtesy those rat finks.

Nihilistic zeitgeist
apocalyptic outlook sacrificed
no redemption no matter
kidnapped without ransom
concerning grateful dead heist
how figuratively purposelessness sliced
unlike mum man crucified Jesus Christ.
(nevertheless ex post facto still flattered
genuine heartfelt kinship mattered,
hence the reasonable rhyme
across the webbed wide world
I subsequently scattered).

Linkedin to the previous poem,
(similarly written scant few years ago.

I also codified, glorified, and lamented
an unexpected cessation of communication
with he/him who affixed yours truly
appellation of wise man, which modesty
of mine gently downplays.

Bhutan names defy affiliating,
determining, identifying... gender,
and what a faux pas this dada admits,
when a blessed high school
student did league gully tender

benighted, gifted, ordained yours truly
with sobriquet "Guru"
alluded to in previous poem, render
ring this foolish hearty good fella (me)
falling prey to embarrassing situation,

(I did miss render
as would be expected
from this crash test dummy,
who dented his psychological fender),
vis virtual mind ******,

when an initial presumption
smarted Matthew Scott as offender,
asper online youth NO pretender
by him, aye mean the sender
communicated his admiration,

adoration, adulation for this big spender
of sincerity, viz singular poetic magi - (ha)
made presumption that
unknown messenger slender,
and female, and

upon enclosing appender
referencing person as "lovely princess"
did respondent clarify finding deface
of zee poet here -
logic chops went thru blender

as if slapped by a suspender
experiencing irrevocable shame
as though a contender
attempting to guide false supposition
playfully mistaking ******

identity of male sender,
he (young kneeler)
bowed as winning scoring goaltender
down as mine professed

metrical feet, he who acquiesced
non Asian minor, friender
NOT seeking moneylender,
nor mistook my heart of gold,
mine apology I did obligingly surrender

and possibly chuckled to himself,
asper an uproarious hellbender
whereat my countenance turned
sixty plus four shades of lavender.
Unbeknownst to this unsuspecting witty mortal,
a reverberation attributed to butterfly effect
linkedin to hotmail twittering Facebook member,
who resides within Bhutan, his dignified volition
accorded me magnanimity titled sage without any

influential collusion from Russians bestowed yours
truly with said honorably distinguished appellation,
which humility of mine humbly accepted without a
protestation, though never would I brazenly adopt
spiritual holiness, yet flattered to share such rare

pronouncements, when unsolicited feedback lobbed
in my direction (way before advent of Information
Technology Revolution) often tendered, kindled, and
belittled this gentle human, sans when bullies slung
byte ting bit torrent loathsome scandalous red zingers

targeting personal vulnerabilities, asper being under
socially withdrawn, painfully shy, plagued with speech
impediment (severe nasality) caused by submucous
cleft client, plus weighing where needle budged from
absolute zero pounds, topped with passive demeanor

susceptibilities conveniently converging to establish
this bruised Earthling ideal choice as scapegoat, no
kidding with dread to endure endless days, weeks,
months...a lifetime channel of opprobrious, noxious,
malicious emotionally demonic, cannibalistic, barbaric

abominable, damnable, horrible diatribes chipping
(dale lee) at what measly self confidence shielded
fragile psyche fast crumbling into grist for hungry
caterpillar, unbeknownst that flight path randomly

followed by a representative of Lepidoptera order,
would ineluctably set very subtly infinitesimal
fluctuations within air (currently supplying biota
with requisite oxygen), also training perturbation.

Patience Young Grasshopper mine alter ego spoke
when yours truly figuratively chomping at the bit
more accurately fretting with anxiousness when
boyhood body of mine underwent metamorphosis
impossible mission to thwart biological transformation.
Unbeknownst to this unsuspecting witty mortal,
a reverberation attributed to butterfly effect
linkedin to hotmail twittering Facebook member,
who resides within Bhutan, his dignified volition
accorded me magnanimity titled sage without any

influential collusion from Russians bestowed yours
truly with said honorably distinguished appellation,
which humility of mine humbly accepted without a
protestation, though never would I brazenly adopt
spiritual holiness, yet flattered to share such rare

pronouncements, when unsolicited feedback lobbed
in my direction (way before advent of Information
Technology Revolution) often tendered, kindled, and
belittled this gentle human, sans when bullies slung
byte ting bit torrent loathsome scandalous red zingers

targeting personal vulnerabilities, asper being under
socially withdrawn, painfully shy, plagued with speech
impediment (severe nasality) caused by submucous
cleft client, plus weighing where needle budged from
absolute zero pounds, topped with passive demeanor

susceptibilities conveniently converging to establish
this bruised Earthling ideal choice as scapegoat, no
kidding with dread to endure endless days, weeks,
months...a lifetime channel of opprobrious, noxious,
malicious emotionally demonic, cannibalistic, barbaric

abominable, damnable, horrible diatribes chipping
(dale lee) at what measly self confidence shielded
fragile psyche fast crumbling into grist for hungry
caterpillar, unbeknownst that flight path randomly

followed by a representative of Lepidoptera order,
would ineluctably set very subtly infinitesimal
fluctuations within air (currently supplying biota
with requisite oxygen), also training perturbation.

Patience Young Grasshopper mine alter ego spoke
when yours truly figuratively chomping at the bit
more accurately fretting with anxiousness when
boyhood body of mine underwent metamorphosis
impossible mission to thwart biological transformation.
Unbeknownst to this unsuspecting witty mortal,
a reverberation attributed to butterfly effect
linkedin to hotmail twittering Facebook member,
who resides within Bhutan, his dignified volition
accorded me magnanimity titled sage without any

influential collusion from Russians bestowed yours
truly with said honorably distinguished appellation,
which humility of mine humbly accepted without a
protestation, though never would I brazenly adopt
spiritual holiness, yet flattered to share such rare

pronouncements, when unsolicited feedback lobbed
in my direction (way before advent of Information
Technology Revolution) often tendered, kindled, and
belittled this gentle human, sans when bullies slung
byte ting bit torrent loathsome scandalous red zingers

targeting personal vulnerabilities, asper being under
socially withdrawn, painfully shy, plagued with speech
impediment (severe nasality) caused by submucous
cleft client, plus weighing where needle budged from
absolute zero pounds, topped with passive demeanor

susceptibilities conveniently converging to establish
this bruised Earthling ideal choice as scapegoat, no
kidding with dread to endure endless days, weeks,
months...a lifetime channel of opprobrious, noxious,
malicious emotionally demonic, cannibalistic, barbaric

abominable, damnable, horrible diatribes chipping
(dale lee) at what measly self confidence shielded
fragile psyche fast crumbling into grist for hungry
caterpillar, unbeknownst that flight path randomly

followed by a representative of Lepidoptera order,
would ineluctably set very subtly infinitesimal
fluctuations within air (currently supplying biota
with requisite oxygen), also training perturbation.

Patience Young Grasshopper mine alter ego spoke
when yours truly figuratively chomping at the bit
more accurately fretting with anxiousness when
boyhood body of mine underwent metamorphosis
impossible mission to thwart biological transformation.
Ring with no feather in my cap only envy
at handsome man drakes with bucks,
who could bank on "hot chicks" willingly
aligned in arrow emitting clucks
fluffing their respective tail feathers amidst
loud squawking out quacking

establishing pecking order like ducks,
or any other foxy fowl billetted
within walled din noisy hen house
preening, each be solder self flux
sing wings and waddling, flirting, casting...
webbed wide good lucks

at the growing flock
including male friends relatives,
minus yours truly, whose presence,
would merely generate a yawn,
though even a distinct black swan
received royal carpet treatment
particularly one named Shawn
encompassing another honorable guest

with illustrious surname Rawn
guests underwritten by Cupid,
whose presence surreptitiously withdrawn
(invitations distributed widely explained,
just beak cuz gerrymandering redrawn)
even provoking deer interest
of stray doe eyed fawn
hence lacking bravado and brawn

this bird den some seedy,
yet dove out crow kissing Avocet
trundled off to parts unknown you bet
far from boys stir russ, raw cuss, diss-cuss
sing demerits of being in debt
ting clacking clique, and thus this solitary fret
full ostracized, rejected, unwanted egret,
who heron there experienced many a let

down, not simply because of stork disparity
with the Aves and havenots,
but I never met
any other species so set
in their ways, hence off
on a wing and prayer
in search of other gulls,
whom this dodo bird they will coe vet!
Above title attests
how mine mundane mein kampf
insync as a veritable clogged drain oh:
flush with adventure overflowing excrement
er... rather excitement.

Apt aforementioned accurate personal description
believe me not, but urination
and defecation née emergency evacuation,
where majority of human league
smell bound with fascination
triggered (reasonably rhyming) inspiration
culmination of requisite time
sitting atop porcelain goddess
devoid of hesitation and trepidation
herewith follows mine poetic ululation
hoop fully invites veneration.

Poetic embellishment doth belie
ever since garden variety generic guy
long since experienced being little boy
mean kids constantly teased and bullied me
on account yours truly being small fry
barely invisible to naked eye
bullied (most my entire boyhood)
as scapegoat, I did decry
pleading lame feeble alibi,

especially when tawny punk
named Phil (actually a groundhog)
threw suckerpunch witnessing,
yours truly feigned falling
upon wounded knobby knee
to avoid me countenance being pummeled
courtesy knuckle sandwich
they threatened to apply.

One puny socially verily withdrawn lad
no surprise experienced suicidal ideation
throughout public school even as undergrad
never wagon figurative tail when fired
from one after another workstation.

Hence metaphorically hermetically sealed self
against incessant beastie boys squirreled away
amidst imaginative escapes courtesy bookshelf
isolates myself, viz remaining figuratively at bay
interestingly enough petrified livingsocial whereby
flesh and bone closely resembled hardened clay

hashtagged Matthew Scott Harris as pipsqueak
deadset to halt physical maturation without delay
anorexia nervosa (modus operandi) did buzzfeed
starved and emaciated lovely bones as main entree
unbeknownst then, but clear as a bell now
emotional state of parents unspooled and didst fray
father and mother aghast their pallor went ashen gray

grim reaper wielding large scythe intimating hooray
approximately half dozen years later
both parents relentlessly vilified verbally hammered
and especially didst inveigh
against their sole singular son
born thirteenth of January
hooded think those folks
who begot me more cruel fate
then being lynched courtesy triple "K."

Gambone builders bought property razed demesne
to escape vitriolic wrath atop roof at Glen Elm, I lay
nevertheless indelible memories emotional reprieve
spiritual succor delivered upon many a bygone May
when heat radiating off shingles served newgateway
passing time and wishing myself far as Norway
adopting role of bachelor farmer,
or even time traveling
back Catskills circa Borscht Belt,
also known as Jewish Alps oy vey.

Yours truly risk averse
which characteristic,
I declare constitutes curse
thus isolation found me sprawled out
upon wuthering heights
against regular diet of diatribes
delivered carte blanche
with expletive filled verse
toward solitary son ill fate
receiving nasty brutal abuse
considered dying far less worse.

Precious minutes and hours atop
seven gabled hideaway blithely did elapse
me gingerly scuttling out attic window
though agoraphobic and loathe to drop
distance and no longer courting death
no matter concluding life (during
early/mid twenties) total flop
merely wishing raging machinations
against male offspring would stop.

Hurtful words yelled after papa
guzzled bottles of vermouth
(not really, I admittedly prevaricate)
courtesy late father and mother
resoundingly, severely, terrifyingly,
wickedly, violently uncouth
subjected imbalanced earthling
(yours truly - me)
think venomous metaphorical
****** blackened barbs,
viz inconveniently grossly, egregiously

one after another hurtful
figurative daggers antithesis of truth,
albeit synopsis regarding
second born (middle child - sole son)
begat courtesy Harriet and Boyce
upon their psychologically harried
flesh out the womb of young mother
(both parents now long since deceased)
now said heir long in the tooth
wordsmith here wonders why forsooth
he tolerated torturous abuse.
drawn courtesy lots of byte size chalk.

When e'er I summon fat chance
to empower me self with courage
and steal a passing glance
in the mirror then instantaneously
hairline fractures appear
than 'afore long
snap, crackle, pop
becomes crystal clear,
whence aluminium glass mirror
(made of a float glass
incorporating additional processes)

leaves highly reflective
fractured surface patina 'ere
one narcissistic blackened barbed ken
whiles away countless hours
unseeingly preening, primping, and pruning
e'en the slightest glare
ring blemish finds cause
for cosmetic surgery
(namely liposuction)
evincing ghostly interlinear
crows feet and dark

circular "bags" that distinctly leer,
which medical term for skin folds
and ballotable skin edema
described as “festoon,”
or “malar mound,”
an eye sore overclear
demanding grotesque immediate
dermatological action
(if necessary) taking
extra adipose tissue from rear

end supposed extra junk in the trunk,
where moon a fish scent derrière,
would not be unduly sore,
perhaps requiring
(whatever would suture self)
plus donning extra padded underwear,
which subjugation voluntarily
"going under the knife,"
would stave off depredations aging
(such as puffy eyes)
at least for another year.

Until the end date regarding
mine cessation, damnation,
glorification -ha time on Earth
(hammered into crucifix
courtesy nine inch – rusty - nails)
my changed body morphology
particularly around equatorial girth
unwanted layers of flab allow, enable,
and provide me to burn wicked fat
these cold winter days and nights
serving yours truly as built in hearth.

Incremental corporeal essence, here
to forge i.e. figurative spear
tire of mine, doth elicit despair
daily appall, thus I air
part tickle laurel lei objection
able bane, cuz this tear
rubble flabbiness a glare
ring anatomical feature, I swear

shape shifted into a dare
ring ridge hubble unsightly
bulge ballooning mere
lee (just south of Montana) so clear
lee obscuring belly button – an innie , where
former washboard abdomen veer
hilly subsumed by displeasing scare
really hated love handles glare

ring paunches noticeable, especially
when abdomen bare
adduce, deed hoos, and
reed hoos sing the culprit bing
one or more beneficial
pharmacological prescription medications
eliminating debilitating crippling panic attacks,
albeit re: fashioning
now alien metabolism, but

necessary medications giving
immeasurable *** bull heaving
relief to this generally
autobiographical, comical, ecological,
grammatical, illogical, kinematical,
methodical, (parenthetical), rhetorical,
theoretical, vertical and  
xylographical off the old block  
exhibiting joyus rapture, where
psychological state contra dancing,
jitterbugging (a slight bit of hyperbole,
where I tango with) kickstarting

long overdue ability
to experience living
social shorn of paralyzing anxiety,
yes every now and again
isolated heated flare ups making
stellar cameo appearance, asper
rendering literal "NON
FAKE" pennilessness,

and non seek quit tore ring
excessive (no pun hush meant intended -
heavy handed) perspiration,
but generally "speaking" quieting
reductio ad absurdum unbearable
woebegone raging against the machine
adrenaline hellishly riotous smiting
body electric non verbally remonstrating

condemning indescribable torturing
poisoning relentlessly (like
stinging scorpions) upending
many prime decades vice wrenching
yoking ambivalence kamikaze
nose diving worthlessness toward
total mortal re: suicidal bombing mission.
Lake mine previous
(stream of consciousness
imponderable) poetic efforts,
sans spiritus mundi, converse
sing a boot unfamiliar thread,
and ignored common
sense ne'er re: hearse
sing, asper William Butler Yeats,
aye went off deep end, perhaps
provoked at least une nurse
sis sear re: literary unlicensed violation,

and additionally one emphatic curse,
where mine poe whet
tick feet did immerse
for the methamphetamine time acid,
(I said to myself), why traverse
pointlessly imagining something worse
tread about, i.e. say...tripping
along head over heels, yet
nagging notion would not disperse
venturing blithely writing

plunging into terra incognita parallel
universe a "multiverse"
herewith also Ark
chew woolly Noah intent
for yours truly to drown while purse
sue wing abstract notion,
viz domain of science fiction,
never intermittently intersperse
sing following lines with "HELP, I need
somebody...", nor deliberately submerge
readers within a mini sea course

of confusion, but I feel confounded
gripped, lured...and will gladly reimburse,
should delving over my head diverse
if eyeing breadth, length, scope...
beyond realm of mom and pop verse
a tile theoretical physicists,
who casually identify ten dimensions
— eleven including time, nor averse
slithering thru worm holes
such more'n flight of fancy seems perverse,

whereat numberless whirled
wide webs presents obverse
to accepted paradigm reverse
sing scientific tenets describing
quarks, plus portal bellow much
room (See Alice in Wonderland) disperse
sing notions, where exodus
down the rabbit hole
into alternate self contained
separate cosmological infinitesimal channels
far more exciting than reality television!
Yours truly (an amazingly,
gracefully, and markedly modest
passively aging baby boomer -
formerly introverted long haired
pencil necked geek),
prattling wordsmith doth behold
nostalgic memories regarding father
(Boyce Brandon Harris)
long ago lapsed decades

during papa's prime time
many years past when complacence
existed about joie de vivre,
and considerations about mortality irrelevant,
where soothsayers promised
our family staying alive for eternity
few and far between instances found me
acting, exhibiting, illustrating brazenly bold
behavior, said rare spontaneity
the exception versus the rule,

hence following poem crafted
an endearment to those who begat me,
resorted to discipline, but NO spanking
ever since mama did cherish her little boy
scores of years before she passed away
at her death hands went limp and cold
as a shy lad his maternal and paternal parents
their virtues he extolled
contrary, now healthy sexagenarian
born of sturdy genetic mettle

rumor claims I suckled magic potion,
cuz courtesy to preventative medicine
mother followed advice
of one Carlton Fredericks,
renown radio commentator
and writer on health and nutrition
ne'er did mine lovely bones buckle,
even when skinny body crushingly embraced
into loving maternal fold,
without doubt mama adored motherhood
and brood of three offspring

harmonized, memorialized, pampered...
the hardworking de facto breadwinner
late twenty something handsome groom fêted
born April 9th, nineteen twenty nine,
Brooklyn fortune teller travails foretold,
when the late Harriet Harris, not so gold
din as totally bewitched, she gamely evinced
controlling authoritarian versus
crooning, marveling, and warbling
regarding once "little monkey" - me,

which pet name no longer applied
shucked off brought to abrupt halt
as yours truly grew up,
and decried childhood's end
I experienced objection to thwart growing up,
and latched unto anorexia nervosa
countless moons ago,
when I biologically, emotionally,  
intellectually, and sexually transitioned
into socially withdrawn young man,
once indomitable omnipotent

mother/son bond ex post facto lost hold,
where once applicable theme
exemplifying Harris household
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
dramatically, markedly plummeting
formerly measurable appreciable tolerance,
similarly short tempered patriarch
( ~6'2” ~ 200 lbs at prime)
over any five members,
especially toward singular male offspring

timid, meek, and demure (effeminate) me,
essentially ruled the roost
regarding Harris household
sole son characterized vis a vis
presented passive resistant
outward nonestablishmentarian mold
worst case scenario
would hypothetically witness
Matthew Scott Harris
spending longevity old and feeble minded
at 324 Level Road

outliving parents, pets
(comprising inordinate
number of dust bunnies) and siblings,
both caring and concerned girls
(an older and younger sister),
the latter whose globetrotting exploits I envied,
nevertheless yours truly
speculatively imagined himself
to have outlived anyone polled
even Methuselah, where mein kampf
blissful, fanciful, nouveau poet
nearly long forgotten boyhood charade,
facade inlaid masquerade

analogously crumbled like broken scaffold
attaining centenarian years old -
faintly maintaining umbilical stronghold
considerably surpassing mommy dearest,
born November 13th, nineteen thirty five,
yet moments before her passing
she barely audibly apologized
for occasions she did reprimand and scold
retaliated against grim reaper,
he whisked her diseased riddled body away
after completing approximately
seventy plus orbits, all told.

I experienced interminable
relentlessly psyche burning acrid
tormenting, teasing, and talking funny
bullying vulnerability compounded amid
courtesy of split uvula set me apart
alien as a Druid livingsocial
during latter half of twentieth
and first two plus decades
of twenty first century
rather a speech pathologist
informed legal biological guardians

regarding Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic
minor congenital defect when
attending sixth grade at
Henry Kline Boyer Elementary
i.e., submucous cleft palate, aforesaid
whereby every day akin getting scorched
by some "NON FAKE" ironclad grid
me, this twangy nasal kid
my undersized and socially
withdrawn demeanor contributing
to existence tumultuous and turbid.

Extreme shyness demeanor
did heavily exhibit
as if burdened with a yoke
linkedin with anatomical diminutiveness
punctuated with aforementioned
pinched nose adenoidal sound,
quite obvious when I infrequently spoke
conveniently availed himself
as cannon fodder i.e. scapegoat to bullies
as a socially withdrawn pre/
post pubescent slowpoke.
Dune not be bashful, grumpy, leery
or any other contemporary dwarf man
regarding countless less well known dwarves
(that never got a chance
to play a bit part) such as wham
bam
thank you ma'am
linkedin with emergence
of Internet and poetry slam
opportunities availed by Nast tee Uncle Sam,

which characters (albeit fiction),
nevertheless, helped spawn a quiet yet free
global, radically riotous,
totally tubular snow white transformation
affecting a societal and human specie
but also augmented, credited,
engineered, et cetera contributing
to paradigm seismic shift that garnered tree
mend us plentifully birthed schema,
impacted and transformed how wii

(more particularly many gifted minds)
bridged geographical distance
(encompassing all four corners
of the Earth) to enhance
what came to be called the world wide web,
courtesy Sir Tim Berners-Lee
hewing digital strong armed lance
information super high, "Cyber Revolution,"
etc allowing one to prance

and essentially transcend reality to brook
cyber sea ghosting, fostering, embezzling crook
commanding, commingling, communicating, hook
line and sinker, et cetera courtesy nerdy kook
with an excellent access and outlook
reaching the most distant cranny and nook.

This (bit a bing chitty chitty bang bang)
democratization of information,
manifestation toward
exponentially faster processing capacities
(latest technological trend heralds
Quantum computing – promising
to transform the world into
twenty first century space race)
more powerful than pen or sword
(based on principles of Moore’s Law), reward
witnessing atheists to thank good lord

electronically solidifying
binary unification swiftly tail lord
engendering greater dependence and reliance  
figuratively shrinking the drinking gourd
allowing far flung aliens, family,
friends, et cetera to ford
great distances via sophisticated electronics
courtesy of super smart motherboard
enabling ever more complex
futuristic electronic contrivances,
the generic **** Sapien gibbon could afford.

Analogous to Medieval Age
this quiet ***** riot creation
(ushering on thee global stage
equally as controversial when
la cage aux folles aired)
vis a vis Internet did un cage
actual overcoming physical barriers
ushered Hallmark gauge
marked by Computer/Digital Age odyssey),

especially sharing pixelated page
at light speed, where the ordinary individual
could keep in contact )
albeit with every now and again
a bit torrent rage
and in some instances tapping
smarts of a preschooler considered a sage,
which kindergarten lad/lass
commandeered a handsome wage

whereat the parental figure
did gently cajole, wheedle or beg
their wealthy progeny promising
son/ daughter of a healthy nest egg
framing almighty dollar
as theatrical masterpiece jpeg
storing money in Swiss
bank accounts or hollow leg
perhaps christened Meg
or if an avid weekly reader
of Moby ****'s Queequeg,

who felt incorporeal storied power
of Herman Melville as zen unseen aid
instructing hypothetical rich kid
to drop out of school
before his/her first grade
cuz of all the money he/she made,
which affected modus operandi rendered obsolete
child worker laws  
and no sweat of brow getting paid
people used bitcoin (protocol
which implements a highly available,
public, and decentralized ledger)
additionally making purchases
with scant keystrokes to complete a trade.

As with any major dramatically novel scheme  
light bulb idea scribbled on napkin
or other scrap of paper
via modeling brainstorm viz cutting up cheese
or spraying whipped cream
originating as a flash in the pan
aha eureka moment, or dream
as rough blueprint subsequently
underwent beta testing,
before declaring pc innovation supreme,
whereby outstanding persons
in the tech industry
clamored to join Kidde team.

Whether seventh day add vent
hissed or other religious creed
powerful binary processing
rooted and impacted particularly
after tooth house sand
years after common era (re: anno domini)
earth shaking incarnation indeed
and ramifications in all walks
and talks of life sought expert need.

Coven chanting children murmured Luddites be ******!

Thus spake Zarathustra
(cue the opening scene
from Planet of the Apes)
upon witnessing as if king or queen
(in reality father or mother)
didst get immediately
dethroned thus, increasing mean
average positive netzero
effects on society, especially lean
microchip i.e. integrated circuitry
miniaturization "green"
technology (and eventual
attendant affordable price),
viz said trappings
upon global market
invited absolute zero dust, a must clean
as a whistle work space,
and manufacturers laboratory be microbe free
hermetically sealed vacuumed "clean.”

Countless portable computers
unbeknownst soon invited
florid colorful expletives
upon heads that did wantonly hack
impromptu malfeasance called cyber crime,
especially as majority proportion of population
didst purchase these dime a dozen,
countless electronically sophisticated contrivances
every Tom, **** and Harry

snapped up these smart machines
excitedly keyed away
ofttimes indifferent to gunk
on unwashed hands
plus bits of food particles
eventually caking hardware with grime
subsequently necessitating technician
charging gobs of moolah
sans to unstitch in time.

Gooey glop getting suctioned out
vaunted vips venting vitriolic vocalizations
emphasized obvious
NO FOOD OR DRINK rule to abide
cuz suctioning tower computer
or laptop presented vulnerability
plus unforeseen downfall against fried
food and greasy hands ended up hide
ding hardest to reach locale
on circuit board no matter
how expert technician pried
“end user” yelling out gratitude
to geek squad member helping
before he/she went side
dulling out front door

eagerly awaiting
remotely controlled self driving vehicle
transporting self taught techie guru home
to an obscure gated destination,
an uninterrupted distant, yet pleasant ride
eventually amateurs encouraged
to tinker like an apprenticed tailor

akin as raw troubleshooting recruit
oft playfully feigned to be soldier spy
pretending to repair bowel of computer
when in truth visiting
supposed outer limits of functionality
legality, and radicality shadowing dark side
which lined illegal benefits
of labor saving devices.

The sound of silence
written on the subway walls
though heretics opposing
latest technology and felt sinister chill
(just ask Punxsutawney Phil),
the Internet ranks as greatest dog sent rill
lee where wiz kids ranked
chatting killer apps with grateful dead
information superhighway as heavenly manna
with artificial intelligence street cred
since introduction of white bread
and powdered milk biscuits
baked by Ahmed.
born February 7, 1812,
whose living descendents
I would be thrilled to befriend,
hence if anonymous reader
by some genetic fluke
linkedin to said
prolific storied author
please kindly reciprocate.

greetings mutual friend,
hard times dash
great expectations in this bleak house,
whereby battle of life ensues
when Sunday chimes
from master humphrey’s clock
issue somber american notes
invoking overshadowing doom
from young gentlemen:
oliver twist, nicholas nickleby, barnaby rudge
martin chuzzlewit, david copperfield,

young cricket and on the hearth little dorrit
collaborated on pickwick papers
with dombey and son detailing
how I (a haunted man/
ghost’s bargain) alias mudfog
got self absorbed in his old curiosity shop
hunted down by boyhood days
(akin to an endless Christmas carol
frieze as child’s history),
now a thick dust covered holiday romance
memory portraying this signal-man

(according to george silverman’s explanation)
eerily similar to the mystery of edwin drood,
exiled after his trial for ******
birthing three ghost stories
inhabiting a haunted house
affecting the young couples lamplighter
an uncommercial traveler
evidenced by pictures from italy
prone to speeches, sketches
by boz and his lazy tour
an oft repeated tale of two
cities best read at dusk.
Even when iron not red hot,
I implement non customary quarks
regarding foreigner rather cold as ice
namely delinquent outsize credit card debt
mandates yours truly,
a cheesy survivor who rem: members
putting freeze on
Citizens Bank World MasterCard accounts,
whose helplessness to fork over

substantial dollar figure
analogous to one of three blind mice,
who ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off tails (OUCH!)
with a carving knife
must pay the price
methinks food in the slammer (ha)
will lack sugar and spice,
nevertheless macht schnell trice.

I exhaled deep sigh of relief
after speaking over the telephone,
whereby Arcadia Recovery Bureau
(i.e. collection agency)
based in Reading, Pennsylvania
explained yours truly owed $23.21
which considerably alleviated
immediate dire straits that figuratively
grabbed me by the nuts
hash tagged self scoundrel
a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz

living ****** mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,
I blithely admit characteristics
linkedin with being a putz
going off rails as a one man train wreck
mine impossible mission to avoid
NOT running amok imagine
bull in a china shop
whereby the hypothetical proprietor
willing, ready able to tear out my guts.

Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet
size nine shoe small size for grown man
leaving utter disaster in his wake
synonymous when havoc strikes
chaos theory alive and well
ensues when I walk about
and dare take even one baby step.

Ever since adept with ability to crawl,
I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,
but never did shed tears nor bawl
e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall
out the hatch of airplane

splattered, plastered, and matted
think suddenly feeling comfortably numb
joist another brick in wall
nevertheless acquiring stunt man role
paid big bucks

as **** sapien disguised as Sasquatch
(cause unkempt harried styled hair)
more times than I can remember
fell to Earth minus parachute,
which hoop fully explains

the incomprehensible drawl
earnestly and frankly harkening language
once extant within Gaul
which reverberated inside hall
of mountain (lionized) king.

Prior to any madcap misadventure
yours truly envisions his clumsiness
plays out within my third eye blind
hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion
whereby accidental flick of wrist,
barely brushes up against
flimsy clothes rack

(the original motive begetting poem)
knee **** involuntary reaction,
kicking obstacle clear across Compton
generating comical feedback loop
impossible mission to stop
blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.

Living amidst (amongst) disarray
courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits
never merit housekeeping seal of approval
twenty four/seven pose
a hazard to mine existence.
Twenty four years ago –
February 4th, 2023,
whose existence begat
by this dada and da mama aye
revel in your bursting at figurative
seams viz maturation, and know by
chatting over the telephone, your aura, charisma,
and persona finds me blinking back tear ducts
ready to lose water works i.e. cry
at how fate gifted this papa, whose existence
would be devoid without you, and
purposefulness undermined
if the loss of such a daughter as thee

(one young lady
more valuable than words can spell),
a reason to live would be shipwrecked
with psyche marooned to die
such emotional devastation,
could never be quashed
even as gums mouthed or uttered fee fie
Foe fum – Jack
(of Beanstalk storybook fame),
would also lack will to live,
(yes as would the giant), thence,
this grunting, groveling, and grieving guy
forced to traverse
terrestrial firmament like rob zombie – hi
King over a vast boulevard
of broken dreams, cuz I

(re: this humdrum Harris heir),
his soul asylum inconsolably reign
if irrevocably punctured akin
to mortally wounded crane
willpower to defeat death,
could not be staved,
stanched, nor stopped,
but tis fool hardy (mill Laurel Lei)
to allow, enable, or invite
darksome, irksome,
or unwholesome thoughts,
whence best for this brain
to rejoice in your awesome,
lithesome and winsome transformation

into a beauty, a non-biased commentary
I cannot resist to exclaim
an angelic, beloved and charming progeny
endearingly frolicking thru
the meandering time stream,
perhaps stopping at Donny brooks edge
where bucolic flora and fauna doth frame
thee, (maybe such infinitesimal instant
per one directional hull story of your life
via doth camera cap cha) if game
to pose as a gamine hipster inspiring
a jazzy kindling mosaic – type meme

before resuming skinny dipping back
into the waters of life,
whereby experiential arcade
beheld like a courtly table
adorned with many a fancy feast to BuzzFeed,
the sights and smells before yar senses
might appear as a charade
boot upon scrutiny, ye exhibit hesitancy
to inch closer comfort food
gluten free and NON GMO
beckons so ye haint a frayed

to take measured
steps further into verdant ever glade
puzzled at such cornucopia
cobbled together and laid
without the presence
of any handy dandy blues clues maid
in America, this novel
panoply pastiche of prideful quality eats,
and thoughts circulate sans who paid
for such resplendent sustenance,
whence this Edenic garden ye strayed

until…without, a life size topiary
supremely chainsaw creation
viz green foliage (a hedgerow
carved in the likeness of thee punim)
all of a sudden a burst of doting,
and fawning family and friends
Salutes a touching, unanimously
voted wondrous young lady
no amount of riches would anybody trade
HAPPY BIRTHDAY…a shout rings out
with glory and scale
of your worthiness
no mass out weighed!
Who didst unknowingly, unquestionably,
and unwittingly script vitality
and the prologue to Thanksgiving,
(which theme poem initially written)
about three hundred and ninety seven years,
and nine months after February third 1621,
yet genesis of American November tradition
pronouncing Meleagris gallopavo domestico
sacrificial bird spurred them to revolt enmasse.

Wise no adulation, dedication and gratification
not emphasized the other three hundred
and sixty four days a year
question their role as consumed
end product of taxidermist,
gnome hatter clucks fie against industry where
when thanksgiving gobbledygook brouhaha
glib lets deified whereat
a countless range of turkeys sacrificed veer

rill lee with commendable,
gratuitous and laudatory plaudits
bequeathed to the cook,
who held as the grand umpire
calling bastes time to bring in the pitcher -
though such an action tends
tubby viewed as fowl, with tail feathers there
be fluttering in sync with shutterfly flapping
at least one angry bird

sent to the slaughterhouse -
whose peck within four square
foot locker enclosure
breeds base sill wrath bone,
which Birdseye view dispensed,
though tis grim fate
doth behoove turkeys to rear
up and protest their predestination
forbidding grim intuition

via special Turkish communication
from axe of cruelty,
the butcher will not deem queer
yet questions pop up why
this singular twenty four hour
Fitbit of time fosters the people
to summon beneficence,
and when whatsapp did appear
rent lee clinched this American custom

squawks back hundreds of years
sans "The First Thanksgiving,"
a spontaneous oscillometer
ocular venerated, feted,
and celebrated requisitioned,
when Governor William Bradford
organized a three-day long feast near
the tip of Cape Cod,
which was too far north
of intended destination.

One month later,
they made maximum headway
to Massachusetts Bay
celebrated Native Americans friends,
the year 1621 feasted
between Pilgrims and Wampanoag
at Plymouth Colony a green day
(know your enemy unsung)
arbitrarily chose spread of turkey,
waterfowl, venison, fish, lobster,

clams, berries, fruit, pumpkin,
and squash mebbe fish fillet
Thanksgiving, currently celebrated
on the fourth Thursday
in November by federal legislation
in 1941 recalling hooray,
or more particularly regaling
the maiden voyage 1620
viz a ship called the Mayflower

ambitiously disembarking stalked
by death and injury
from Plymouth, England
for the New World
after a difficult battle at sea
that lasted 66 days;
the 102 passengers roped a deejay,
which essentially doubled up as conductor,
and struck up psalm songs

for a guiding buoyant gull
they named Oak Kay
of the Mayflower landed near
and the Pilgrims began
to build a new home at Plymouth,
whence an annual tradition hay
begat by founding fathers and Mother Nature
incorporating some marketing spin,
thence United States

by presidential proclamation and fiat Gerry
rigged obeisance (essentially honoring
those brave hearts
that dared traverse
the Atlantic Ocean
without life jackets nor a whit,
they didst courageously ferry
themselves in a rickety craft
(where many perished at sea)

since 1863, and state legislation
since Founding Fathers donned gray
powdered wigs (served
to trumpet political stance)
forging fledgling colonies
slated crude establishments and primitive bidet
wrought forth from deep
within the bowels
of fecund fields broke ranks with Britain,
and pioneered United States array.
The date of the celebration
(the second day of February) coincides
with medieval feast of Candlemas,
and its pre-Christian predecessor,
Imbolc, a day also rich in folklore.

An old Scottish prophecy foretells
sunny weather on Candlemas
means a long winter.

The tradition is recounted in this poem:
As the light grows longer
The cold grows stronger
If Candlemas be fair and bright
Winter will have another flight
If Candlemas be cloud and snow
Winter will be gone and not come again
A farmer should on Candlemas day
Have half his corn and half his hay
On Candlemas day if thorns hang a drop
You can be sure of a good pea crop.

Punxsutawney Phil is the focal point
of oldest and largest annual
Groundhog Day celebration,
held in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania,
every year since 1886.

Members of Phil’s “Inner Circle”
claim he is now 137 years old,
(rumor circulates this one groundhog lived
to make weather prognostications
since 1886, sustained by drinks
of "groundhog punch"
or "elixir of life" administered
at annual Groundhog
Picnic in the fall),
hence thanks to said magical
life-extending serum
they feed him each year—
and his predictions
one hundred percent accurate.

Coincides with astronomy's
first cross-quarter day,
marking the midpoint between
winter solstice and
spring (vernal) equinox,
which will occur at 5:24 PM on
in Northern Hemisphere
Eastern Standard Time
Monday, March 20, 2023

Small consolation old man winter
spans fewest days
of all four seasons,
especially when

A powerful nor'easter
will develop in western Atlantic
beginning late Friday,
(February third two thousand
and twenty three)
bringing heavy snow,
strong winds and
coastal flooding to parts
of the East Coast,
but there remains
a larger than usual amount
of uncertainty in forecast
for this storm.

Yours truly remembers
when spry Jack (****) Frost
(just yea high -
both arms stretched to sky)
came early, left late and bossed
zealous vernal equinox
rattling barenaked lady branches
obviously inapropos
to budding friendship.

Now (courtesy global warming/ climate change)
mother nature experiences feeling strange
within valleys and atop many mountain range,
wherein goods traded away on stock exchange.

Fortunate concerning yours truly
versus daring to brave
inclement treacherous weather
getting stranded in the process
(possibly becoming gratefully dead)
risking life and limb venturing forth

amidst near whiteout conditions
creating debacle perilous and grave
shoveling snow lest he get buried
he can remain holed up
(in tandem with the missus)
snug as a bug in his mancave.

While nestled inside warm abode for awhile
(at least until temperature upwards doth dial
safely ensconced against elements (of style),
I stopped at metaphoric woods edge
trekking until... for no rhyme nor reason
the poetic metered equivalent,
viz another mile
then stopped for coffee break

burst of energy gave me cause to smile
fording imponderable stream of consciousness
impossible (airy) mission to dodge regarding
aforesaid daunting task to craft worthwhile
poetic endeavor to entertain anonymous readers
gleaning how one bard (with his shaky spear)
evokes fiction being snowbound
as if cast adrift within Siberian exile.

Straightaway I continue writing askew
aware how literary trademark modality
characteristic of one hapless wordsmith
unwittingly indelibly embedded
analous to mine Caucasian
versus swarthy melanin hue

man automatically confers eligibility granting
innumerable known mighty opportunities
(privileged skin color - how unfair)
bigoted prejudices shade those
either hashtagged as black,
naturally copper toned gentile and/or Jew.
Childhood campy chimera curtain call
subsequently hinting (based on accuweather)
the approach of blizzard squall
so burrow under quilted cover y'all
until warm temperatures arrive when springtime
ushers social media platforms
buzzfeeding earthlinked instant karma
jump/kickstarting linkedin outlook
twittering romance in the air that's zall
mother nature holds in store
after Old Man Winter
(lame as a duck this year)
attempts to make one last hooha.

Arctic bitter dead of winter cold
ice sole ace shun finds solitudinarian
to ******* (not prematurely)
shiver me timbers
cursing fate (and diagnosis of
schizoid personality disorder) for being alone
while polar vortex deep sub zero temperatures
freezes each lovely bone
excellent existential prized memory
swimmingly recalls boyhood

listening to drone
of various and sundry
en deer ring fauna
extant amidst greensward,
where imagination hath flown
to imaginary Eden lyft ting
uber a maize zing ears
cocked while doodling towards
Mother Nature's petsmart crafted chorus
flushing out soundcloud

queen of happy campers
with bees zee winged
wonders as they hone
suite tracks unstinting
well crafted aural presentations
intended to entice
a mate opposite jejune
targeting their search
nsync with one or another
favorable counterpart, this buzzing

destiny could favor a loon
or some other apropos biological entity
(or perchance if desperate
to mate) **** sitter
another species including the manifestation
of microbes on the moon
whereat boys and girls bounding,
exclaiming, and yelping
joie de vivre asper when counselors
blow whistle call at high noon
hour of day iz lunch, thence resuming

their made up fun and par lore games
such as knight in shining armor
dashing off to save
damsel in distress signaling
heroism asserts itself really soon
sans SOS and favorite ringtone
(emulating Fisher Price) tune
of potential prince
where young love doth Flickr
oblivious to a similar situation, aye lichen
to avast Marcy's playground.

Such panoply a prediction
forecast by Doctor Punxsutawney Phil
a blue oyster cult meme burr
thus, in layperson terms
six more weeks of winter for 2023 -
so stay warm to stave off feeling offal
bodes ill for species who clamor for warmth -
supposed tell tale shadow

spelt "N+I+L+L"
and remain in hibernation
if opportunities allow,
and be thankful for not bing forced to mill
around seeking warmth
(case in point a street person),
but ye and the big or 'lil
body of warm flesh adjacent to thee

(this day and age -
unlike stereotypical storybook account
about Jack of all trades and Jill
exhibiting traditional garb
many kin did instill  
gender preference a moot factor),
or take stock, stock and barrel,
how other creatures great and small

burrow underground under a hill
(shaped like an upside down pineapple)
or reef amphibians, mammals, reptiles...
instinct can remain
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea
a fictitious place evoked by Jules Verne,...
hmm...maybe he might breathe
courtesy of an atavistic gill,
who would downplay brouhaha
to avoid any cavil;
nevertheless any objectionable content
forward complaint to yours truly
stating point of view
before the end of April.
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