(alternate title: days of yore bubba's zayda
flush with buggy boo horse sense).

Norristown City Hall police person
informed yours truly
on September 15th, 2020
mine automotive driver license expired,
thus between January 13th 2019
and September 17th, 2020
I drove automobile,
(whether borrowed or owned)
without vehicular infraction.

Prevarication about me getting arrested absent bail
and locked up into solitary confinement without fail
predicated upon outdated invalid license lands me in jail
cuz fabrication jest haint gonna happen,
hammering out suspenseful account I cannot nail,
no matter I would love to concoct tall tale

Subsequently, yours truly
steers toward truth telling in the main,
whereby prefabrication painstakingly
heavily taxes me aging brain
especially bragging about
heavenly guardian angel,

said divine intervention I abstain,
though quite tempting
to (beer lee) draft believable hopping plain
vanilla drab lackluster circumstance,
and embellish a flimsy fib
including agent provocateurs quite urbane,

whereby unwittingly, haphazardly,
and accidentally committing
non moving violation
imposing driving record stain,
particularly when aforesaid
minor harmless transgression

invites punishing reign
innocently, only unintentionally
to flout PENNDOT rule,
which hoop fully doth explain
reason nevertheless quandary
necessitated posse comitatus.

Therefore ipso facto such quasi confession,
albeit unexciting and bland
necessitates self imposed liberty
letting mine imagination command
poetic license crafting experience
resident within dreamland,

where truthfulness I blithely expand,
cuz anonymous reader(s)
more inclined to gravitate toward firebrand,
wannabe, whereby reasonable rhyme
nothing particularly grand
written by invisible hand.

Provide me please gainful opportunity
to enable and allow
glorified, edified, and crucified across
millennia one divine creature hood da boss
(no not Bruce Springsteen)
sanctifying supposed dregs of humankind

essentially flotsam and jetsam dross
humdrum life of random Tulliver kin
inhabiting the mill on the floss
a riveting saga (also Silas Marner
written by same author) with matted gloss.

Ah, methinks how George Eliot  
(Mary Ann Evans) quite literary ace,
her fiction she didst buttress and brace
galvanizing, fictionalizing, 
and enumerating disgrace
appears quaint, thee second 
decade of twenty first century
nostalgic imaginary place,

yours truly would clamor to live
exempt from careering, jackknifing, 
and speeding, rat race
peace of mind impossible mission 
leisurely pedestrian strolling
(think about taking stop at Willoughby),
where helter skelter breakneck pace
nonexistent without a trace.

nonagenarian father experiences at Normandy Farms

Though dead, I gauge
these past one hundred and four plus months
linkedin with Gregorian calendar page
mine mother would be aghast

at deplorable inhumane outrage
played out upon Normandy Farms -
Bluebell, Pennsylvania site
where papa (a pricey
senior folk facility), he doth stage
his final showdown

consigning grim reaper
to tender body, mind, and spirit equipage
regarding preparations undertaken
heading enroute to netherlands
corporeal essence repurposed for unknown usage

though disbeliever in afterlife,
at least our beloved dada
will be freed (once and for all)
presently locked in solitary confinement
disgraceful undeserving penitential sinful wage.

Impossible mission to renounce humor
mine healthy coping mechanism de jure
sprinkling badinage doth beckon and lure
no matter said topic of death lacks cure,

unlike non mortal trial and/or
tribulation oftimes, I communicated before
namely other poetic endeavors
with reasonable rhymes less or more

yours truly hashed out, cuz apropos
persiflage my middle name
helping me endure
declining health and concomitant score,
regarding the once strapping handsome man,

who nsync with mama begat your
truly decent aspiring wordsmith
whereby cloaked skeleton
wielding a large scythe
very soon whisks away loved one extempore,

which bon voyage forever
means onset of tears and sorrow endure
however long mourning process prevails
possibly remaining years I remain healthily alive
perhaps (ideally) at least two score.

Lockdown courtesy coronavirus (COVID-19)
limits administration towards he who birthed us
(myself, and two siblings,
an older and younger sister), a plate glass screen,
nevertheless, I envision an emotional scene
bidding permanent laissez faire thee well,
who will soon rejoin Harriet,
his dearly departed forever queen.

(alternatively titled: tardy duff fender of assertiveness,
especially after adjusting following insanity clause
affixed with rubber baby-buggy bumpers)

Methinks I nearly got snookered
courtesy CVS employee at store number 7569
(address: 1206 North Gravel Pike,
Zieglerville, Pennsylvania 19492)
September ninth, two thousand and twenty.

Saleswoman rattled off spiel
regarding CVS Carepass program
the missus immediately
became suspicious of aforementioned deal
every month five dollars
debited from checking account,
figurative highway robbery,
and/or outright steal.

The above trifling
unspectacular wrought scenario
an exception to rule,
whereby yours truly usually
spurred Manichean inner duel
witnessed by guns ablazing
trampling outspokenness
giving Isaac Bashevis Singers,
Gimpel the fool

run for his in dove viz hubble money
now forced into dire straits,
where chicks free yea
how **** sapiens cruel
nasty, short and brutish beastly species
devises sadomasochistic tool
hankering, and hungering to starve
think also about anonymous
innocent tortured soul (me, ha)

kept in solitary confinement,
with no chance of parole
a convict for life i.e. hard skool
of knocks alum deceived
hired, and lobotomized
slave driven human mule
donkey *** tee (hee hee hee),
and fed diet of worms
in tandem with thin gruel.

Far to often annals
constituting mein kampf,
I experienced oblivious naiveté
undergoing blitzkrieg linkedin
with scapegoat honorific,
now sortie give snort against
mine passivity harrumph!

Dan D. yankee from Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania didst doodle and dawdle
planting feather in figurative cap - yay
perceptive sixth sense analogous to xray,
yours truly more wise

to the insidious mean way
dominant nasty, short
and brutish human beasts
Machiavellian bullies instill fear
for egoistic personal gain oye vey

immediately judging me as prime target
oh my dog... early in grade school
threatening hateful taunts got underway
I attest suffering verbal abuse
persists even today

offtime couched within feigned concern,
yet sinister motives at heart stay
anger toward able, eager and ready
poetic tactics launched courtesy shipshape quay
zee reasonably rhyming literary barbs to portray,

how creative poetic technique can outweigh
Norse (er horse) sense
scrawled by Lake Woebegone
bachelor farmers' guardian angels
originally harkening from Norway
deported to Normandy Farms,

including me nonagenarian papa,
cuz they (you decide who)
started to trumpet melee
predicated when power of attorney
given to a girl named Amélie,
dime a dozen teller (of tall tales)
at Wells Fargo Bank.

September 8th, 2020

I plunge further into
erudite epistemological philosophication
courtesy said renown British polymath,
philosopher, logician, mathematician,
historian, writer, social critic,
political activist, and Nobel laureate.

Whew! His treatise
A History of Western Philosophy Quite profound 
grist for intellectual mill
yours truly, a johnny come lately (me)
doth thirstily swill.

Though challenging material
to comprehend without shadow of doubt,
yours truly disciplines himself
to utter words out loud
in an effort accentuate, enunciate, inculcate...

No matter said storied author
among grateful dead fifty plus years,
I experience a communion
integrating esprit de corps
of one garden variety
beetle browed foo fighter (me)
linkedin courtesy immortality of soul.

Slow and methodical thru trenchant material I wade
steeping yours truly signature writing stock in trade
while sprawled out on bed housed within
one bedroom apartment (B44)

Highland Manor Apartments
(situated in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
owned by Grosse and Quade,
one of the largest residential
property management firms in this area.

Analogous to basking robin luxuriating
within his/her medium of taster's choice,
I experience with exultant and exuberant
express within poetic quasi-motto rejoice.

Book learning brings me tremendous delight,
whereby my mind soars to immense height
despite eyes forced to shut courtesy blinding light,
nevertheless joie de vivre prevails gleaning
precious nuggets of knowledge to ease
penurious and precarious penniless plight
prompting provocative dreams tonight.

Figurative meaty tender vittle morsels
temporarily appease appetite
dentures no drawback into juicy tidbits to bite
impossible mission countless passages to cite
each page chock full
food for thought delight

either factual or fictitious
voluminous tome doth excite
buzzfeeding Dharma bums' fanciful flight
occasionally curiosity finds him (me)
scrutinizing mind boggling gametophyte

phase regarding plants,
(the dominant form in bryophytes -
mosses and liverworts -
reproduce by means of spores
released from capsules),

less familiar to most people, I highlight
smattering botanical information insight
nsync with tidbit
about mineralogy namely jacobsite,
a black magnetic
isometric mineral MnFe2O4.

Fifty plus shades of gray matter (mine)
undergoing voluntary torturous subjection
i.e. stoking, perusing, and manhandling
a heavy (Sisyphean) subject matter
(honest to dogs' truth),
I Kant understand a single word!

Got outta bed boot
did not drag comb against head
of  beetle browed foo fighter,
he did not arise
bright eyed (by George), nor bushy tailed
to bucket flush toilet.

After attending her asinine
morning toiletries, the missus
lovingly nudged me awake
quickly urging me to betake
sleepyhead husband pronto to bathroom,

(no matter I got bowled over from behind plus
additionally getting flush while hurriedly
caught up with current movement),
nevertheless despite being anointed
de facto proxy plumber,
crowned emergency attendant

incorporating obligatory undertones
yours truly summoned
one man bucket brigade
to block and tackle
messy task at hand,
cuz jack (***) of all trades
and master of none
immediately got jibberjobber
self into action.

Accessible bathtub and shower linkedin
as washing facilities,
hence after pouring voluminous hot water
into maw majesty,
viz Ms porcelain goddess,
she gurgled and gushed with delight,

thus avoiding the need
to call maintenance man,
whose availability of sundays
(September 6th, 2020
no exception to rule)
more difficult than
finding needle in haystack.

Once morning ***** deed
done dirt cheap duty completely done,
cuz sudden necessity to evacuate arose,
strong ****** need,
to excrete I could not ignore, but only heed
lest aging garden variety
long haired pencil neck geek,
would figuratively experience

a posteriori his bottom dropping out
subsequently with dog speed
donned in Scottish tartan
and Harris tweed
pink frilly ("I hate boys")
nonetheless monogrammed underwear
adorned with precious venerable bead
hmm... methinks hyperbole
token heterosexual doth exceed.

*** side resorting to poetic dramatization, eh
generic guy relishes word play touché
so please pardon me this literary antic okay
a non believer regarding conformity
also atheist, which confession he will pray
fly high wherein realm harboring soul of
Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger,
comte de Saint-Exupéry.

courtesy Fluoxetine hydrochloride

Fluoxetine Hcl (C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective Serotonin
Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,

and obsessive-compulsive disorder
the above symptoms
profoundly experienced by yours truly
said prescription medication
seriously impacts sleep (mine).

Debilitating panic attacks
wrought (particularly years gone by)
physiological displeasures chiefly constituting
vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration, adrenaline
coursing thru body,

whereby Prozac (brand name regarding
aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable, unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, jackknifing... functionality
hijacking life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Essentially yours truly experiences
dilemma analogous to sleep deprivation,
cuz ofttimes upon arising,
I feel utterly tuckered out, exhausted, bushed...
thus zapped body, mind and spirit

ill suited to physical,
mental or spiritual endeavor
subsequently lovely bones (mine)
(pine to join grateful dead)
rather than feebly kickstart
lame effort to write, read or meditate.

Thus respecting Sir Isaac
Newton's first law of motion
a (human) body at rest
inertia keeps said entity at rest.

Interestingly enough as
daylight doth wax and wane
casting dark shadows upon urbane
countenance buzzfeeding hidden reservoir
exerting estimable energy
decreasing arduous strain

therefore purposefulness,
I seek renewable resource to imbue
garden variety generic
doubting thomas and ordain
him (i.e. me) with spontaneous

magnificent grandiloquent enlightenment
ala Orson Welles Citizen Kane
laughable comparison linkedin
with story extraordinaire quite insane
September 4th, 2020 insight one can gain
perchance even coaxing passable poem
from deep within Matthew Scott Harris' brain.

Metaphorical troubled waters deluge
pitched me to and fro,
analogous to ghosts
that haunted Ebenezer Scrooge,
yours truly violently tossed
impossible mission to experience refuge

except when deeply engrossed
between bound pages
thick and juicy tome one garden variety
generic bookworm doth ravish
escape courtesy his imagination
especially when tomes I wade thru huge.

Impossible mission to identify figurative source,
whereby I felt obliged to battle unseen force
blowing strong as Lake Wobegon
Norwegian bachelor farmers,

whose ****** forebears heavily bundled
nevertheless healthy as horse,
implacable foe bore down perforce
(think Sisyphus pushing boulder) of course.

Try as I might to conjure where in the world
(wide web then nonexistent) diminutive lad
experienced his psyche got hurled
hither and yon as hibernating animals squirreled

nuts, what weather forecasters predicted
severe winter, where below zero temperatures
any ill clad **** sapien imperiled
against the elements (of style),

would freeze to death succumbing
to brutally cold underworld
mine lovely (prepubescent) rattling bones
nearly swept me into icy netherworld
courtesy anorexia nervosa
aforementioned harsh adversity

now formerly starved little boy
can experience virtually augmented reality
where lifelike simulated scenarios,
when **** kids
easily craft bytes designating computerworld.

Best now to condense and conclude
(without being in **** sitter writ nor rude)
the aforementioned tasty morsel food
for thought one ordinary wordsmith hewed
tragedy that befell aging baby boomer

one quiet natured contemplative dude,
who **** also an aging pencil necked geek
still garnering psychological succor
delving into select printed material

some books dog eared and pages getting unglued
hoop fully amusing poem he brewed
ideas percolated within me noggin
purposely depriving body viz nutriments
no longer eschewed

cuz indelible harm wrought,
such conjecture imbued
half dozen decades elapsed since
necessary sustenance I did agonizingly exclude
adolescent mystery still not understood.

As I racked up orbitz around Earth
physical shortcomings bespoke
self evident dearth
nsync with corporeal weathering transpired,
a band of adipose tissue

encircled abdominal girth
allowing, enabling, and providing
golden opportunity many love handles
whereby countless jellyrolls
of flab signify self worth.