Without fail, I would flunk preschool
farcical scenario aside
truthfully, metaphorically, emphatically
resigned to life as replayed
male live violent scullery maid
forced to spend existence locked
within veritable grotesque
dragon filled dungeon paid

existential dues many times over
horrible nightmarish masquerade
eternal punishment cruel fate
refuses to trade
redemption condemning freedom to fade
prefiguring edge of night
mental dark shadows shade
purposefulness reduced trite
poetry without reasonable rhyme

sole recourse to vent bitter tirade
black bile coursing thru
at woebegone permanently delayed
jollity sabotaged travesty
utter ignominious parade,
no surprise violent rage
bubbles up inside decayed
corporeal flesh, where psyche slayed

fledgling inchoate willpower
self destructive courtesy inherited
ignoble misdeeds displayed
havoc struck in utero a frayed
fetus, where mutated
deoxynucleic acid double helix played
out flawed biological blueprint
fetish, obsession, and zealot

regarding straggly tangled mane
salt and pepper grayed
quiescent, indifferent, and ambivalent
once upon a time
flirted deadly escapade
sought out anorexia nervosa
frankly zapped, starved, and
deprived critical decade

destructive, imperative, and operative
diabolical, inimical, and maniacal aide
de camp conspiring, kickstarting,
snapchatting umbilical cord strangling
again allegorical besieging enfilade
machine gunning, fueling,
and endowing tirade
erupted earlier today – 4:00 A.M.

spouse, racket she made
November 25th, 2019 waylaid
ordinary placid quiescent ruminative...
state, whereat as iterated I conveyed
or tried to elaborate intense anguish
thorny debacle arose
filleted here at Grosse and Quade
owned Schwenksville property.

Who nearly knocked me upside noggin
property of self anointed Unitarian sheikh
yea... of course by accident,
nor lame excuse accepted
playing spontaneous hide-and-seek
game, and not exactly romantic technique

to allow, enable and provide sleek
move antithetical to marriage vows
but surefire guarantee
driving marriage to brink
immediately trending toward unique
modus operandi countdown seek

your ring bachelorhood
days numbering less than week
ushering hermit age regarding,
the creator and master of Mattspeak
understandable, she did shriek
feeling abandoned, ready to freak

out, she wearing easy to identify
floppy pink hat shielding incognito pique,
she gravely mistaken for banshee
series of unfortunate events not for meek
nor "Fake" feint of heart as blunderbuss
just amazingly graced
my smooth shaven cheek.

Predicament arose after I drove
2009 Hyundai Sonata wheel hove
(we love) to established local
CJ'S TIRE & AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES
8:00 A.M. today November 19th, 2019 at:
(1405 S Township Line Rd,

Royersford, PA 19468), formerly mangrove
bajillion years ago, thine spouse strove,
while awaiting emergency brake replacement
took short hike to purchase
supplies walking within distance to:
A.C. Moore Arts and Crafts

1824 E Ridge Pike Suite 102,
Royersford, PA 19468,
mine infinite wisdom
erred when I didst prove
thyself foolish heading by jove
to aforementioned store ex post facto

getting her name paged over intercom
only to loopback to
mechanic shop mentioned above,
upon returning to 2 Highland Manor Drive
she did Potchki while anchored, berthed,
hunkered within her cove
channel surfing for favorite program.

viz hitted courtesy debilitating panic attacks

Upon waiting for vehicular repair
today November 19th, 2019 at:
CJ'S TIRE & AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES
(1405 S Township Line Rd,
Royersford, PA 19468),
yours truly, i.e. mister re: man
registered lamentable paroxysm.

All thru mein kampf inferiority complex
analogous invisible muscular heft did flex,
quaking, hijacking, agonizing...
jinxed irrevocable hex
re: heredity did initially index

courtesy Boyce and Harris,
who begat me
guaranteed, fixed, decreed...
courtesy accursed lex
lucifer mortal christened
Matthew Scott Harris – insinuated

jackknifed, kickstarted, limned,
machined, nixed, ordered... orifex
encompassing hardiest inscrutable
seminal entry point
penetrated zona pellucida, qua Rex

wrought flawed crown
faulty erroneous biological code,
within body electric mutation
fleshed out, I lament
analogous courtesy neophyte Unix

programmer, yes I hedge
to intimate biological event
upon impregnation sent
reproductive juices into action
miracle whipped processes
wielded unbeknownst advent,

whereby subsequent
cell division manifested,
albeit nine months later enfant
terrible asper:in,
this then newborn gent
lo' within zygote,

every generic ingredient
already harbored yours truly
characteristic weaknesses full extent
unbeknownst until DNA blooper rent
birthed, thence as I developed absent

pronounceable kinks vis a vis
trademark characteristics became present
evinced thru behavioral, emotional,
interpersonal, neurological aberrations

costing me (lake dude...) woebegone descent
wretchedness faux forfeiting every moment
only recent (think today)
entire existence misspent

oddly enough even compromising
ability to serve meant
two daughters, (especially eldest)
decry horrible life pent
up with rage against human machine

referring to paternal birth parent,
whose pathetic example rent
asunder psyches linked with offspring
hence, I best ought to have
joined a convent (ha).

Twas really only of late,
I realized fuller blown extent
house zing deplorable... state
absolute zero scholastic, tete a tete
opportunistic, generic, athletic...
**** sapien astride oblate
spheroid devoid of any
marketable skill doth resonate.

Nirvana protégé podcast/youtube
phenom quite mature
talented young lass promising future
media attention did capture
overnight starlet exhibits bravure
generates profuse nonstop
outstandingly positive conjecture

nine year old greeted in France bonjour
mademoiselle so innocent and pure
guaranteed future success
near anonymity one day
household name the next,
automatic fame secure,
whose beautiful swarthy
complexion compounds allure.

Courtesy technological tentacled
trappings everywhere
twenty first century raw
talent discovered anywhere
across world wide web
instant cash cow bajillionaire
clinched record deals guaranteed
linked immortal wealth crystal clear
financial woes never nightmare

flush electronic deposits buffer
sudden renown claim heir
reddit teary boosting
quantity kith and kin here
rilled predictable feigned
interest to care,
when yesterday no hoots given
toward young person's welfare.

Such simplification possibly doth err
grossly inaccurate, I aver,
rushed prediction unfair
nonetheless interesting how
forgotten friends and relatives spur
unexplainable long

atrophied well timed flair
to buttress crumbling complex edifice
long forgotten grudge doth disappear
tangentially madding crowd
metaphorical boatload relative
strangers ferried jostle appear
amazingly enough out thin air

human nature inexplicably fickle
another case in point here,
when yours truly did not roundly square,
among classmates nasty glare
but triangulated, threatened, teased...
convenient token (non smokin')
scapegoat bullies throve to scare

name calling, spitting, suckerpunching,
a curse this then skinny, puny, dorky...
boy never did dare
raise his non hazardous dukes fear
ring being clobbered, pureed, whipped...
perhaps thugs ******* my long hair
passively internalized deplorable angst.

(alternately christened great insight
to those who Braille)

Ah.... so glad thee did ask
summoning poetic title
tis most daunting task
if lucky forthcoming praise
will yours truly to bask

and bathe with short lived,
while I quaff vintage
amber liquids out the
golden silver made flask.

Utter exhaustion taxes me
fifty shades of gray matter
while trying to grasp just
one measly idea amidst
all that scatter

to and fro hither and yon
analogous to mire and muck
that doth splatter
courtesy nasty driver
mad as a hatter.

Yours truly scrunches his brow
in an effort to provide,
enable and allow
gamut of meaty notions,
when finally satisfied utter holy cow,
mama mia, eureka, aha... *******
(hoop fully not premature),

cuz arduous effort analogous
to navigating dhow
sailing frothy, choppy, angry... seas
until sudden (b)rain storm doth endow
sudden burst of inspiration
compelling necessary ****** to plow

ahead and expound therein how
so ever dictates of spontaneity now
let me smoothly coast along
offering scant obeisance, thou
divine fabulous intervention,
hence I feebly kowtow

despite covenant, viz devout atheist
nonetheless puzzled what activates
hitting me figurative pow
similar to Batman disabling enemy,
temporarily speechless disbelief
merely summoning wow.

Much time yours truly doth calibrate
what seems bajillion years I agitate
sitting days, weeks, months...
in an effort to nearly ready to abdicate
and disappoint countless followers

thus, this wordsmith doth dedicate
a section of this battlefield... before to late
(think Gettysburg Address)
no matter minuscule chance fate
will find mine path crossing
unknown online respondent(s),

whose feedback doth inflate
inestimable self confidence (ha)
generally held in check modesty sedate
even when praised in person, I emanate
introspective mien downplaying
genetic and/or environmental factors

wherever talent did originate
cobbling words together arose
courtesy this bookworm
doth really associate
predilection to hash out poem.

Feigning to emulate NON GMO
garden variety English major oh just so
**-hum, this ousted son and cingular bro
biological byproduct of papa's yoyo

after mama taut Peppy how to grow
big and become vein, her issuing blow
by blow stroke, thence pecker
imitated fountainhead

unleashing at apropos
time outburst analogous when an arrow
loosed from archer's bow
shooting off about hip height mo'

than bajillion microscopic
one celled lil longfellow
(Oh Henry...! *** art thou doing?)
just hmm... giving mutual sin O

Job whelp... subsequently
little squirt begot
sole son this all because sticky clot
hit bullseye right on the dot

nope, no where near size of ergot
spore, yet radiating
burning temperature more hot than...,
liquified gold prior

bitta bing bitta bang forged into ingot,
now just little more about fertilized
ova, I wanna jot
potential pluperfect parasite (me)

acquired, cultivated, fashioned...
one after another deft bon mot
while in utero until umbilical cord
severed than christened newborn tot.

Now fast forward blaw blaw blaw
when I began to clamor and claw
nope, cuz I ne'er learned how to draw,
the least significant genetic flaw,
cue laugh track and prerecorded guffaw
similar to popular nineteen
seventies television hee haw

laughter muted upon meeting
battle axe mother in law
another story... genre mccaw braw,
she excelled spewing vitriol out her maw,
thence I slowly must heard,
mixed metaphors and mastered...pshaw

modesty keeps me from bragging
yea - boot as a non sequitur
non secretor, yukon call me
the word wrangler outlaw
lo never cussing out anybody,
I can more easily whip out pistol

if captive audience
critiques mein arcane saw
jeering (matt speak feeble attempt
at wordplay - i.e. soldiering)
receiving affirmative nod
courtesy none other
than quick draw mcgraw

now ye butter listen (er... read) up
and don't blather and beast not shtupp
to conquer, when ya hear bit ching pup
that maybe be yipping faux ruse
to empty pocket inner empty cup.

Abominable barrage bombards
fortified barracks show
warring subsequently, incandescently,
and brilliantly doth glow
biden time, this
garden variety Joe Schmoe

hunkers down deep
within arched bunker poe
wet tickly donning
pence sieve stance against row
battery weathering incessant assault
invariably waiting for Godot,

albeit devout atheist doubting Thomas
suffers major blow
wavering, vacillating, undulating...
ominous foreboding,
viz more'n one circling crow
decries status ranking sincerely

truly posthumous hero
reconnaissance delivers...
yup absolute zero
looming dark shadow
futile against inconsolable sorrow
anonymous bookish deadened

erstwhile febrile fellow
good as gone, cuz yours truly...
fresh outta ammo
resigned killed in action
another unmarked grave
housing lovely bones

courtesy contemplative bro
charred body foretells, know,
and promises not one daisy will grow
despite fervent obeisance
soul fully do I futilely bellow
worse fate than death

i.e. gulag archipelago
feebly decrying, lamenting,
lamely pleading against
bleak unfair in apropos
sentence never granted furlough
never to witness celestial amarillo

beatific, cathartic, fantastic...,
nor chase gold *** end of rainbow
all pleasant dreams, I must forego
seek neither fame nor glory hobo
content whiling away (Billy me)
idolized time solitary ****

sapien re: me tortured afterlife
enslaved forever guilty "fake" pharaoh
moans... suddenly joyous tears flow
aforementioned psychedelic mashup
figment of imagination - ******
illogical gallimaufry, hallucinatory,

and illusory expo
attempt lame analogy how I wallow,
when setting sail
to launch crafted poe
whim, whereby invisible
battle scars attest

successful amphibious ambition
inundated battling lightspeed tempo
competing ideas exhaust
thus, I seek comfort of
soft cloud like pillow!